Sales Psychology: Your Breakthrough Sales Blueprint

Language patterns and psychological triggers can dramatically transform your sales conversations, making rejection less common even when your product perfectly fits your client's needs.

• Understanding "the language of yes" and how getting agreement builds consistency
• Leveraging unconscious triggers including reciprocity, social proof, and authority positioning
• Framing your message to match client mindset – removing risk versus creating opportunity
• Matching communication styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) to build subconscious rapport
• Using storytelling to bypass resistance and build emotional connection
• Listening for emotionally-charged phrases that reveal true priorities
• Avoiding technical jargon unless matched to the client's understanding level
• Building a personal blueprint for implementing these language techniques

Join our online Consultative Selling course where we dive deeper into these techniques and more.

Welcome to the podcast!

Chapters

• 0:00 The Language of Yes
• 3:46 Unconscious Triggers in Sales
• 7:47 Framing and Consistency Principles
• 11:09 Matching Client Language
• 15:37 Understanding Client Motivational Styles
• 19:12 Building Your Blueprint

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Are you tired of hearing no, even when you know your product is perfect for your particular client? And maybe you're getting no's not because of what you're saying, but it's more about how you're saying it. So what we're going to do in this podcast is to build on what's been covered in the last few podcasts, and that's to talk a bit more about the power of language. So my name is Graeme Elliott and I'm going to be talking a little bit around NLP, so this is not a podcast about neurolinguistic programming. However, if you know anything about NLP, you'll know that a big part of it is actually language, and once you understand some of the subtleties in language, you can begin to see where phrases that you're using that to you seem perfectly fine and acceptable are actually really turning off your client. So we're going to dive into some examples, and what I want to do is give you questions that you can use or things that you can do that allow you to build up a framework that will hopefully get rid of the objections or at least reduce them significantly, and this might sound a bit complicated. It actually isn't and, to be honest, it's something I found very interesting when I first came across this, because suddenly a lot of things started to make sense to me and I realized that there were things I was doing which made a lot of sense to me, but in fact, I was communicating in a way that, as I say, made sense to me, but it did not work in the same way for my clients. So that might sound confusing. Let's see what we can unlock. So the first thing is the language of yes, and this is something I've spoken about previously. This is something I dive into in more detail in the online course, consultative Selling, so I will shamelessly plug that, but it's well worth taking a look at. And the reason that you really want to get as many yeses in there, get as much agreement with your client as you can, is that our brains are wired for consistency. So as soon as you get them to say yes to one thing around your offer, the chances are they'll start saying yes to other things. So there's a very subtle way of building that up understanding requirements and I've spoken about that in other podcasts and in fact, it's in the free webinar you can jump on if you go onto the website. So yes is really important to get people saying yes, and there is more to it than that though, and this is where, if you're using a sales script, it may be letting you down. So let me talk. I'm going to talk a little bit about some of the unconscious triggers that will definitely play a part in what you're doing, and once you begin to understand the triggers, you can start to set up your discussion in fact, your whole customer experience so that you start activating those triggers in the client, and that makes it much more likely that they'll go with you.

Speaker 1: 3:35

So the first one is called reciprocity, In other words, give the client something before you ask for anything. And the reason reciprocity is so important and you will have come across this because it's used everywhere. You get the free gifts, free samples, try something for a while to get used to. That's slightly different, but it's sort of in the same general vein. Even sharing information like a podcast, you caught me but sharing information or recommendations is a way of giving to somebody, and what tends to happen with most of us when we receive something, when somebody has given us something, we are programmed to try and give them something back. So reciprocity is essentially about giving something before you ask for anything from the client, knowing that the chances are that when they take from you, when they take that from you, they're much more likely to want to give you something, even if they're not consciously aware of it. These are unconscious triggers that we're talking about. So that's a powerful one.

Speaker 1: 4:54

Now the second one is social proof, which, again, you will have come across. You'll find it in lots of pretty standard sales things websites, how clients say this, all that kind of thing. So basically, that's about safety. We naturally like to be part of the crowd, so if everybody's doing one thing, it's an awful lot easier for you to join in with them. It's actually much, much harder to go against the flow, as it were. So this is the reason why so many websites have testimonials, brochures, anything you like. There are testimonials from clients, or they give a client list, that kind of thing, especially when you see people on there. If you're a buyer who might be your competition, or they're well-known brands, well-known names, if they're going for it, then maybe you should too. So it's very, very strong using social proof.

Speaker 1: 5:55

The next thing is authority. So you have to remember that for most clients you're likely to come across, you will be an expert in your field. So whatever it is you're selling or offering. You'll know that field not only the product, but the solutions it provides and how it provides them. You'll know that much better than they will. It's not always true. My sales was done mostly in the engineering background, and so when I was head to head with engineers I'd never go head to head with engineers because they would actually know the technology far better than me what I would focus on is understanding what they were trying to achieve, which is a different thing. So trusting experts, though, most people you speak to will want you to come in and really guide them through a process.

Speaker 1: 6:47

Now the key here is to do it without arrogance. So your tone matters. Use insights, use frameworks, but don't be pushy. Don't dictate to people. You can use a line, something like we've worked with 20 other companies in your space in the industry you're in, and one thing we've always found is whatever you've always found. But if you use that kind of a conversational tone with them, then you're engaging in a conversation. It's building rapport with that person, which is actually another important aspect of NLP. But you're building rapport, you're building trust. That's what essentially that is about.

Speaker 1: 7:35

Consistency is another important factor. So I've already said that the way our brains are wired. We want to be consistent and this is why you'll find that somebody who has taken a stand, a particular point of view on a subject, it's actually very difficult to shift them, even when the evidence starts to swing very strongly the other way. So getting consistency is important. So it's really important to understand what their goals are, what their pain points are, and then frame any messages that you have, the conversation that you have, so that you continue the points they've made, the pain points, the goals, whatever it is. So it could be that one of their issues is they want to reduce the number of clients they're losing. So in some businesses that's referred to as churn, and you could jump on that by saying something along the lines of well, since you mentioned that you want to reduce your churn by Q4, we would recommend blah, blah, blah. So you get the idea that you really want to be listening and this is so important. This is really fundamental.

Speaker 1: 8:51

If you're listening to what people are saying and it's really important that you do pain points, outcomes, all that kind of thing you can then frame your part of the conversation referring back to the things that they've already mentioned. So you pick up on the points they raised and you develop them further. So one of the things you do in that is to build this consistency. What you also do is you demonstrate to them that, first of all, you're listening to them and you hopefully have a genuine interest in resolving their issue for them genuine interest in resolving their issue for them. And all of this takes you to the next point, which is liking and we trust people that we like. If we feel someone is like us, they're listening to us, they're there to help us, then we're much more likely to go with them, give them a deal, rather than somebody who's quite arrogant, is dictatorial, doesn't seem to be that interested in what we're trying to achieve and what the problems are, so that makes it much harder for the salesperson. Actually, people like that make it hard for themselves.

Speaker 1: 10:00

So some of the NLP aspects of this, so you can take this a little bit deeper. I'm going to touch on this, but I'm not going to go into it in any more depth because NLP is a massive subject, but one of the things that you can do is just mirroring so what I mean by that. A simple example is if they refer to themselves as clients rather than customers, or they refer to their clients as clients and not customers, use the same words. So if they're using the word client, you use the word client. What that does, it's what's called matching and mirroring. It actually goes a lot further than this, but once you start using the same words that they're using, they will subconsciously feel that there's a connection, that you're on the same wavelength. You're talking about the same words that they're using. They will subconsciously feel that there's a connection, that you're on the same wavelength, you're talking about the same problems.

Speaker 1: 10:54

Scarcity is another one and I'm sure you've heard of this, and this is simply encouraging people to take a decision quickly, basically go with you quickly. Now, some people do that by price, so this is a limited offer for a certain period, or there's a certain number for sale or whatever it is you know, but it really it does have to be real. So I would strongly recommend that. Make sure that any limited offers that you offer really are limited, and that will encourage people to push on and give you the deal, make a decision.

Speaker 1: 11:30

Framing is another important aspect, so framing really does sum up actually one of the key things I said in the opening, and this is how you say something, and in many ways, it matters a lot more than what you actually say. So you can use the same information, but you can change their impact. So you can use the same information, but you can change their impact. So you want to frame whatever it is you're offering your solution as removing a risk or creating an opportunity, and it depends on what the buyer's mindset is, and what I mean by that is are they more focused on resolving a problem or getting the benefit? So this is being averse to losing something as opposed to seeking something. So a simple example of a reframe would be if you had the, if you would normally talk about avoiding missed revenue, you can turn that around to something like it will allow you to unlock an extra $50,000 this quarter, something like that. So rather than talking about a missed opportunity, like the missed revenue or the pain, you can talk about the pleasure which is getting an extra 50K. So this is starting to get a little bit more into it, and I'll touch on a couple of other things, but I hope you're getting the message. If you feel they're talking more about pain points, then you can talk about them getting away from that pain point. If they're more focused on outcome. Talk about outcome.

Speaker 1: 13:02

Another thing is just make it easy for people to understand. If it's easy to understand, it actually feels more true, which maybe sounds an odd thing, but this is where we just avoid using jargon. And so the important thing here is, if you are selling something that's a bit technical, choose your level of technicality let's say how many technical phrases you use, based on their level of understanding. So some people might be incredibly technical and you can dive straight in there and use a lot of technical terms because when they're understood, they're a brilliant shorthand. However, if you've got someone who isn't so technically versed, make sure you I don't want to use particularly want to use the phrase dumbing it down, because that's not quite what I mean, but it is just aligning the way you're describing the amount of technicality you're using with their level of understanding. It does a couple of things. First, they can understand what you're talking about. Secondly, they'll actually warm to you more because the chances are, if they're talking to competitors, the competitor's salesperson will start to dive into a lot of detail, particularly if they're happy with the detail and the technical phrases, and that's going to lose the client and they're going to feel a bit stupid. So, again, it's about building rapport with people. It's about building a basis where there's mutual trust. Hopefully you like each other and you can move forward. Now.

Speaker 1: 14:34

Another good one is storytelling. So storytelling is a great way to get around resistance and actually build emotion. So the typical thing here is to think of an experience you have with a client who's in a similar business or in a similar situation and just talk about it. Talk about the result. The outcome. So it might be. Do you mind if I or is it okay if I tell you about a client that I've worked with who was in a very similar position to yourself? I'll just outline what we did for them and the outcome they achieved. So when you start approaching it in that way, that's a great way of just lowering the guard, getting people more open to discussion with you.

Speaker 1: 15:22

So I've gone on quite a lot about this importance of language. I'm going to continue a little bit more and just talk about identifying the motivations and pain points that a client has through their language, because these, if you don't do anything else, these are the most important things to really understand. So listen for phrases that are emotionally charged. So, for example, if someone is frustrated or they're looking to get something done quickly or they're enthusiastic, listen, that really brings out what's important to them. Anything that's emotional shows what's really important to them. So they could use phrases like we've tried everything we can, but we still can't, whatever the problem is. So that's showing a depth of pain. Or they might say it's critical that we do whatever that's underlining a core priority, or it could be I'm just tired of whatever. It might be so that exposes an unmet need and it might be a consistent one. Or it could be something like we're excited about whatever they're excited about and that looks at their goals. So it's really important that you reflect the values back to them. So you could use a phrase like you mentioned it's critical to simplify onboarding. That tells me that ease of use is a major driver here. Would that be right? Something like that? So you can just check in, use phrases and check in with them.

Speaker 1: 16:53

Another important thing is a thing called modality. Modality is how we handle information, if you like. It's how we receive information and how we manage information, and there are generally three. There's actually four in NLP. I'm just going to talk about three. There's visual, auditory and kinesthetic. So visual is to do with seeing things. So examples of someone who's quite visual would say something like that doesn't look right, of someone who's quite visual would say something like that doesn't look right.

Speaker 1: 17:28

Or the way I see this panning out is this so you're listening to those words and you're hearing. Look, you're hearing, see. So that tells you they're a visual person. So match their language, use the same phrasing. Auditory is just the same, but it's about hearing. So this is where you'd use phrases like that doesn't sound like us, or that doesn't sound right, or does this sound like what you want? Use the to use auditory if that's the words they're using.

Speaker 1: 17:52

And then the final one is kinesthetic, and this is emotional. So this would be that doesn't feel right. Kinesthetic is about feelings. So again, you can flip that back. Does that feel like a good fit to you? So it may sound like a very small thing, but the more you match and mirror your clients, there's more of a subconscious rapport going on we like people who are like us and who understand us. That's what we look for. And the more you do this, the more you will match the person you're with.

Speaker 1: 18:26

Okay, so I'm going to actually stop it there, because I want to keep this fairly short, but I hope there's some useful things in there that perhaps you hadn't thought about before. So how do you make that into a blueprint? How to move through? Well, very simply, just start thinking about what you're doing in the rapport, building aspects first of all. So things like reciprocity, all that kind of stuff what are you doing there?

Speaker 1: 18:57

And it doesn't have to be gifts, it's just giving them information is a very simple one. So if you're in a meeting with somebody, it's very easy to share information that they may well find useful. So think about what you're doing there. When it comes to matching and mirroring, just be very aware of how you're speaking and listen to what the client is saying, and then make sure that, as an authority, you are doing things in a way that you're an authority, but without aggression or without arrogance, anything like that. Make it clear that you are sitting next to them and helping them resolve the problem. So that's it for this podcast. I will continue with these in future podcasts, so we'll dive into little bits and, as I say, there's a lot more of this kind of thing in the training course. Okay, so I hope you found that useful and I'll speak to you in the next podcast. Bye for now.