Read Fiction for Social Anxiety; Exercise to Boost Your Immune System; Age Gap Relationships

On this week’s episode we discuss:

The benefits of reading fiction on your social interactions.

How changing your environment can boost your creativity.

Memorization fights Alzheimer’s

and many more topics.

For more information, and to sign up for our private coaching, visit tesh.com

Our Hosts:
John Tesh: Instagram: @johntesh_ifyl facebook.com/JohnTesh
Gib Gerard: Instagram: @GibGerard facebook.com/GibGerard X: @GibGerard

Transcript

Unknown: 0:08

Gib, hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast. I'm Gib Gerard, and today we are doing one of my favorite things that we do, which is giving you guys information that we covered on the radio show with a little bit of an extended conversation about it. So hopefully, hopefully you enjoy this as much as I do, just a little quick intelligence for your life that you can put your pocket and take with you anywhere you want to go. You know, intelligence to go, so to speak. Well anyway, here it is, without further ado, me and John Tesh I Gib here's something that's going to be helpful to me if you feel socially awkward, read more fiction, according to the Journal of Experimental Psychology, reading fiction will help people navigate social situations better. I wish I'd known this in junior high. In a review of over a dozen studies, fiction readers scored better on tests of how well they perceive situations and interact with others. Reading novels gives us insight into human psychology and relationships. Your daughter loves fiction. She says she's also very socially awkward. Okay, bingo. But look, does she listen? She doesn't. But with this look, this is what your English teacher was trying to get you to understand back when you were in high school, trying to get you understand that the with the characters are dealing with sheds light on the human condition. And the more you can understand the human condition, the better you'll be able to navigate it in your own lives. That is why you had to write essays in high school. It wasn't just to be annoying. It was so you could understand this fact. And yes, it turns out it's true. The better you understand people by reading fiction, the better you'll be able to navigate social situations throughout your life. By the way, what great excuse if you don't want to go in one day, you just said, I'm suffering from the human condition. Human Condition, and I can't ask anything because of HIPAA, yeah, that's not how that works. But yes, good point. All I gotta say is, you're welcome. Yeah, I'm not sure about you, Gib, but I, I tend to, I tend to ruminate a little bit just lately. I don't know what it is, maybe it could be just everything anyway. The social psychology and personality science journal says, Please don't be afraid of bad times, because they're really good for us. People who have to handle adversity are happier in their day to day lives than people who never hit a bump in the road, because hardships help us appreciate the good times even more. Their study found or just read a page in the Bible about job. Yeah, there you go. I mean, this is, look, this is why I have my kids play sports, because sports help you learn how to navigate down. It's not about learning. It's not about just moving your body and learning how to play a play a game and become more athletic. It is about learning how to overcome adversity. It is about learning how to lose well, how to handle a bad play and then get back in the game and have a good play. This is that's what the microcosm of sports, particularly youth sports, teaches our kids as they grow up to be able to handle adversity well. And it turns out, there is a huge amount of value for your mental health in being able to handle adversity well. By the way, I saw this this past weekend where your son got hit by a pitch, your 10 year old while, yeah, while he was up at bat, and he's like, ah, you know, he's walking to walk into first base and and mom is, Mom was going, I, I want the pitcher's name. He needs to handle adversity a little. He also, he's a pitcher himself, and he's trying to, trying to find the mom, everything. It must have been the way he was raised, he hit my grandson. It was definitely an accident. They're not that good. Oh gosh. Gib I think you will agree that I like doing this. I think you do too, because I just saw you in a different location moments ago. Cognitive neuroscientist tally Charro says if you need a creative breakthrough at work, move to a different location. Oh yeah, if you change your environment, just in a very simple way, getting away from your desk to work in the kitchen or go for a walk and become more creative. However, the creativity boost that you get from simply changing your environment, it only lasts about six minutes, so you're gonna be traveling a lot. So look again, these are just little hacks to help you break out of the routine. This is why sometimes I'll just randomly decide I'll go, I'll leave early and go to where my to a coffee shop by my kids school and do a little bit of work. I love that. Yeah? Everybody loves that, yeah, because it just sort of, it gets me out of the stress of worrying about when I have to leave. And then it also gets me in a new environment. I get a little bit of work done with a little bit more of a of this. You know, environment change. And again, it's a hack. It's not like all of a sudden you're going to go from man, I can't figure anything out today to you're you're writing Shakespearean level sonnets. That's not how it works. It just if you need a little breakthrough, a little change of scenery is super helpful, didn't? They used to kick us out of at coffee shops if we stayed too long using the internet, yes, and they gave up. They finally found out that the longer you were there, the more likely you are to purchase a second drink and that that that was cheaper than new customer acquisitions. They started letting people, I know, some people in my coffee shop who are not getting that second drink, they're in there for hours. Okay, there's a guy who's negotiating contracts while pacing inside the store. Let's find out. Let's, let's tell Howard Schultz about that. Oh, he's the guy that owns Starbucks. Yeah. Okay, I guess, hey. Before we started doing the show, I made sure I did 15 minutes of movement today. Good. Because, according to the I'm so proud of myself, you should be. According to the I did bear crawls, which was 50 of 15 minutes of really, yeah, okay, thank you. According to University of Houston, all we need to improve our immune system is 15 minutes of movement a day, and maybe enough to fight off everything from infections to cancer. When researchers did blood tests on people exercise, after 15 minutes, their levels of natural killer cells went up. This is why, you know, when we talk, when we do our coaching calls, we do all this other stuff, we always talk about the fact that exercise is medicine, and here is more evidence to that effect, sitting is the new smoking. The more stagnant we are, the more we spend time not moving, the more we actually need to counteract that with movement and other you know, health, improving habits and movement is that one thing you cannot replace movement. You have to get your body moving. It is medicine. It is medicine. It is medicine. It is good for your heart. It is good for your immune system. It's good for your brain. We how many times can we report on these stories? Yeah, yeah. Well said. So again, we had this story recently. You'll remember it. It got a big reaction online before a job interview, eat a candy bar. I was very interested in this myself. Not just any excuse to eat a candy bar. It has to be dark chocolate with almonds. In a study out of Switzerland, people who ate a dark chocolate bar with almonds before a job interview, had a better stress response to people who didn't, meaning their stress levels weren't as high. The blood pressure didn't rise. It's because of the polyphenols and chocolate, which help blood flow smoothly and deliver oxygen to the brain. And the almonds are magnesium, which will help relax your relax your muscles. Yeah, this happens actually be some of my favorite chocolate, which is dark chocolate with almonds. So that's that's good news for me, but ultimately, just a reminder this does not this is not carte blanche to eat the sweetest candies you can find. It's really important that it's the dark chocolate so you're not counteracting it with the milk and the sugar, and that it's the and that it's real almonds and not other nuts or what have you. Because again, it's the antioxidants in both of these things that really, really do the heavy lifting here. It's just an enjoyable treat that happens to have this, you know, macronutrient or micronutrient punch, yeah, I I don't like dark chocolate, so I just do it with milk chocolate, yeah? But I feel really bad afterwards, yeah, you're making my point, yeah? And then chase it with some ice cream. You don't go to a Sunday bar and then go to hear anything, go to your job interview. Bye, hey, Gib, here's a piece of intelligence that I've been using. So since I'm working on this, on this record then, and you've been helping me, it's a sports record of sports themes and stuff. And so I'm always working on little bits and pieces of it, yeah. And so I every night, when I go to bed, I have an ear worm that I cannot get rid of good. And so I saw this piece, and it works for me. And here it is, if you get a song stuck in your head and it's driving you crazy, it's an ear worm, right? So experts say it happens to 90% of us, at least once a week, me every night, while researchers have discovered a new way to get rid of it, you just chew gum. It turns out the physical movement involved in chewing reduces the number of times a song runs through your mind. This is from Philip Beaman, who's a cognitive scientist. I bet it's the rhythm it has. I don't know we talked about how, how chewing gum can actually help you stay focused on long car trips. But look, I have a I have a pre teen daughter. I have a teenage daughter. I have a son who likes music from the Minecraft movie, all of which are sung to me at high volume when I'm driving in the car. And so now I finally have a way to get some of these annoying melodies out of my head. I'm very excited about this. I'm just gonna go to the store and put gum everywhere in my life. Yeah. I mean, this expert says that because your mouth is moving in a different pattern in the words to the song, it hijacks your memory, and the ear worm just fades. I'll take it. I'll take anything. I'll take anything. Yeah, Gib, I first encountered this piece of intel about a week and a half ago on the on the show, and I wanted to bounce it off of you because, yeah, because I wasn't around you when it happened. So when you're so there's a way to beat stress. Yeah, it's the weirdest it's the weirdest thing. It's from the International Journal of Neuroscience. They say, the next time you feel stressed, go find a door with a smooth round, come on. Go find a door with a smooth, round door knob and gently press pressure back against it, and then basically use it as a as a massager, putting pressure on the areas of your back to feel tense. It mimics the trigger point massage therapy, which you've used with lacrosse ball. I have you look like a cat. That's gonna say the door knob. You know, you and I are tall, and if you, oh, look at that smooth, round door knob, it's gonna lead like you gotta be in a place where people can see you because you're gonna be outside the door. Get yourself a tennis ball or lacrosse ball, put it against the wall and use this advice to give yourself the massage with the ball. But just the door knob thing seems a little weird too. Be like, get off the door. You're gonna actually lock yourself out of the house. Oh my gosh. I didn't mean to lock the door. Let's give myself a massage. I. All right. Gib, because of you I have, I've been doing these New York Times things now, these, these were these puzzles. Oh yeah, I know you do like 40 of them, the Wordle, the connections, strands, yeah. So, yeah. So Connie and I do Wordle, strands and connect. Connections is so hard for me, so fun. But apparently it's a way to prevent Alzheimer's disease. It's part of it. The other part is to make sure you memorize something every day. Oh, this is good. We have Dr Gary small on the show all the time. He's a brain health expert from Hackensack medical. He says you can memorize your grocery list, the words to a new song, or try dancing, which requires memorizing movement. Switching up what you memorize is cross training for your brain. And when you, when you do it, when you prepare a scene or something and acted classes, you have to, you have to memorize quickly. Yes, I do. I mean, or if you have an audition, and I have, you know, I have only a few hours to get what they call being off book, you have to memorize quickly. And practicing that it is a muscle. The more you practice it, the better you're going to get at it and your brain. This is why people who work so late into their lives, who you know, who have, who are working as a lawyer or as a physician late into their lives, end up having these incredibly long, not only long careers, but longer lives, because they are using their brain every day. So many of us, we atrophy, and the brain, just like anything else, will atrophy. So you have to find ways to use it and giving yourself little memory quizzes of your your to do list, your grocery list, you can still write it down, but just memorize it. Or even memorizing your favorite scripture poetry or monologs from your favorite films is super helpful. This is the kind of stuff we have on transformation Tuesday, the coaching program. You can check it out@tesh.com Gen Z is upset with us again. Gib, good. First, they didn't want us to be in skinny jeans. And you may which your daughter's Gen alpha, but prima is Gen Z, right? No, she's like, Yeah, she's the right in the core of millennial Gen Z is younger than her. Gen Z came for the alcohol now, now there's, like, places closing because they don't want to drink. Okay, then they don't want us to wear skinny jeans, and they said anyone wearing no socks, no show socks? Was old. Yep, now they hate our email addresses. So the latest sign that you're old is having a Gmail account with your actual name, like John tesh@gmail.com or Reddit. People are sharing anecdotes from work in which their Gen Z co workers are calling them out for using their first and last name and their email address. Why do they care? I don't know. I don't for this one. I think this is jealousy. The other stuff, if you have an earth link account, they just want you to leave. Yeah, you should. If you have an earth link account, it's time to upgrade. But the No offense, but with, you know, I was there. I was there when Gmail was in beta. So I have my name, I'm able to use it. It's, it's super helpful. And I think everybody else is just jealous that they have to use a nickname with a lot of numbers in it to have a Gmail address. And why? You know how many John teshes are out there? I mean, my email address is like, John Tesh 967, right? You know it was like, people just want to, I don't get it. There's a lot of John teshes out there. And apparently you're like, you're Gen Z, who knew? Hi Gib, you're coming up on your 20th wedding anniversary. I am, and you got to be careful, because research says once you get to 20, things start to fall apart. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding people like jumping out of the cars. No, just kidding. It's an amazing fee you got, you got my really early. Yeah, yeah. We were seven. So here in case, right in case. Here's a quick tip. To improve your relationship, you have to practice the double A's effective, effective affirmation. That's the psychological term for letting somebody know they're appreciated. It could be as simple as saying You really make me laugh or thanks for making dinner tonight. Ladies, this is very important. Ladies, lean into the radio here. One surprising finding is that men actually need more affirmation than men, because we are aren't as likely as you to get praise from our friends. Women are actually good at praising each other in their friend groups. Men are not as good, so we are starved for this. But look, all this is, this is just ways of showing that you don't take your partner for granted if you were freshly dating somebody, if you went from living alone to dating somebody, and they were they were doing the things that your partner is doing for you, you would say, thank you. You would feel warm and fuzzy about the whole thing. But what we end up getting to a point of complacency where we start to resent our partner for not doing this stuff, which seems insane. So what you need to do is figure out what they are doing well, constantly praise them for it and affirm them in it, and it will do wonders for how much you not only appreciate your partner, how much they feel appreciated, but also how close you end up being. It's so good. It's intelligence for your life. Is it me or I mean, is there a trend where people are getting married or having relationships and they're like, there's like, 25 years between them, speaking of relationships, like, You mean, like, a May December romance. Is that? What does it? Call it? Yeah, yeah. Why? Why do they call it a May December? I mean, I'm thinking of everybody's like, upset with Bill Belichick, you know, the former patriots coach, yeah, the coach of UNC, yeah, because his is his wife or his girlfriend is. Girlfriends, like 20 790, no. So 27 Yeah, wow. And he's my age, yeah, I think he's maybe older than you, but, yeah, wow. But I'm hearing a lot of this late, this lately. And the other way around too is that we can't do that. Do the math. If I open up a can of worms, no, I can't finish. You have some. You have some. You have always, it was always like, two years, you know, it's like, when you're in high school, oh, two years you dated an under I dated an underclass woman, right? Just one year, and everybody was like, oh, Tesh. Well, so in high school, that definitely was like, you've given up or something. You know, in adult life, we sort of expect that. I mean, I don't know, there's no like, nice way to say this. When men are real, men in particular are really successful. Their dating pool is wider, okay? And so a lot of these men are choosing, you know, for they're choosing to date younger. I don't know, I don't know polite way to say but they're choosing to date younger. And part of it, you know, a lot of people say it's cuz they can, but the criticism is, what could you possibly have to talk about? Well, now that you've got the internet and all the rest of that stuff, if you're, if you're, if you're, like, a 25 year old woman and you're gonna date a 60 year old, you can, you can, you can go back, because so you have a lot of memories about, I mean, a lot of knowledge about 1950s and stuff where I was born, right? Sure, sure. So she can really bone up and know what, what's going on. I mean, there's options, right? Like, look, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that every relationship that has a large age gap is is doomed to failure. I am saying that for a lot of them, it is. There are some questions about what the underlying motivations. I would say, for me, personally, I would have really hard time with a big age gap for the reason that I mentioned, which is, at what is it your father in law have that huge and I would say, what's an issue? Is it 10 years? No, it's like 17 years, 18 years. Yeah, yeah. And they met married young, so it was like, it was like, she was like 19, he was like 38 Wow, wow. How the parents feel about that? Surprisingly fine with it. But they have so so much like your father. It's great. And they have stood the test of time. Like, good for them. Great, grand. I feel like, you know, oh, go ahead. Sorry. Well, no, I just, it's just it. I There are ripples in their relationship that come from the fact that they are from literally two different generations, and that creates issues. If you're okay with that, if you love the person that much, absolutely, by all means, go nuts. I think that there are some choices and questions of relationships of convenience. Will say that are none of my business, none of my business. But I think I think I understand what's happening, and I don't think it's about mutual intellectual compatibility. Oh, wow, yeah. I feel like, I feel like, you know, back in the day, in 1982 or 83 in the Tour de France, when, when Greg LeMond said to me, I said, How you doing, Greg? And he said, I feel like I've taken hold of a race that will not let me go. You know, I feel like, I feel like I've introduced a topic that I can't, I can't, I can't finish. So let's put this into perspective. Let's just let this, I'm gonna let this, I'm gonna let this simmer for you. Okay, imagine you had to date somebody younger than prima. Oh, right, that's the situation. That's my daughter who's 30, right? That's the situation. Bill pela checks in right now. Think about what you do at dinner, yeah, and how you like, what kind of conversations you have, and how you would feel about all of that. Well, I would think that she did. She's waiting for me to die, you know. Yeah, do with that information what you were, I'm just, I'm just psychologically framing it for you in a way that maybe makes it land. All right, I think that's enough of that. People chasing that tiger by the tail. People like, is there a way to erase this podcast? I mean, simply. Well, okay, so one more thing, will you tell folks what you and I do on Tuesdays and Thursdays online? Yeah. So we do these amazing we get transformation Tuesday, and then our healing workshop on Thursday. And basically we take decades of research that we've done for the radio show, the television show, the intelligence your health show for our podcast, the interviews we're doing with the podcast, and we take all that information and we customize it for the members of those groups. So we take the information about how to best divorce, proof your relationship, how to what kind of food you should be eating on a regular basis, especially as you, as you get over 40 and you need your metabolism starts to drop. So we talk about how to survive. A May December romance, how to survive, yeah, how to awkwardly navigate a conversation about a May December romance. All of that we help, we help bring to bear for the individuals who are members of both of those groups. It is a great way we talk about how much we like it, because we spend the time going back over the research in order to answer the questions properly, and it reminds us of just how good some of the research that we have is, and how important it is to find ways to apply it to your life, and we help you apply it to your life. I remember. Remember one of the one of the tips from from last week? It was this woman who was a high level athlete and now she's a physical therapist and body language expert, and she, I might Her name is Casey right now, but she was saying on the on the Tuesday call, she was saying that pay attention to the distance between your your shoulders and your ears, Oh, yeah. And I'm like, why? And because it, as it shrinks, your posture shrinks, and you're building stress in your body. So always, always keep your shoulders down and back and be aware that when you're sitting, or you're putting your arms on a table, that you're that the distance between your shoulders and your ears is decreasing, it also sends an unconscious message that you're lying. So if you see that in somebody else, they're probably lying, and they will read you as you are lying, even if you don't, even if you're telling the truth. When those shoulders come up, it looks like you're lying, because all lying is is additional stress. So all of our indicators in our in our subconscious mind for whether a person's telling the truth or not are reading even a lie detector test is reading the amount of stress in the other person's body. So if your shoulders are up, you are going to send a message that you're not being truthful, even if you are. Yeah, join us for transformation Tuesdays. You can do it@tesch.com forgive Gerard. I'm John Tesh. We'll see you next time. That's it for the show today. Thank you guys so much for listening. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. If you like the show, please rate comment and subscribe on Apple podcast. Spotify wherever you get your podcast. It helps us out a lot. If you guys do that, and we try to respond to every mention the show, every DM, every comment, because ultimately, we do the show for you guys. So thank you so much for listening. You