IFYL2GO: Learn Before 30; Banned Hula Hoops; Take the Workout Selfie

In this episode we discuss:

In-Laws Therapy.

Make time for nothing.

You know Jack.

And many more topics.

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Our Hosts:
John Tesh: Instagram: @johntesh_ifyl facebook.com/JohnTesh
Gib Gerard: Instagram: @GibGerard facebook.com/GibGerard X: @GibGerard

Transcript

Unknown: 0:46

Gib, hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast. I'm Gib Gerard here with one of my favorite things that we do this. This is a collection of pieces of John and myself talking on the radio. So we call it Intel to go. You take the stuff that we do on the radio and we mix it up, chop it up in one single location for you guys to put in your pocket and take with you wherever you go. I like it. This is, this is the best. This is what I like to give you guys. All right, so here, without further ado, it's me and John Tesh, all right, Gib, this just in from a poll of relationship coaches, they say that one in five couples now come to therapy solely to deal with their in laws. That seems, that seems low. I think, yeah, I think some people are lying well or or they have other issues too, but I feel like way more than half, and they discover that it's because, like the in laws is it's for only for 20% of people. Is it just the in laws? Is why they're coming in for everybody else, in laws is on the list. It may just may not be top of the list. But is it, is it husband and wife, or is it the in laws in there, too? I doubt they're bringing the in laws in, because if they had a good enough relationship with the in laws to bring them in, then maybe they probably don't need to have the conversation. The meddling grandparents is also the meddling. But look, what it comes down to is, look, people have all kinds of different relationships with with their in laws. They are fraught. You didn't choose those people. Those people came as a package deal with the person. You did. Choose what you have to do in order to survive it. And this is where therapists are really, can really earn their money, is you have to come up with what your boundaries are as a couple, as a as a miniature family, so that you can exercise those boundaries together, in unison with the rest of the in laws and the Outlaws part of the family. I think the passive aggressive phrase grew out of the in law thing. I think everything was invented by in laws. Oh, 100% Oh, that's how you're choosing to raise your children. Okay, but I would do classic Gib and I were talking about this on the coaching call just today. It's about motivation, and it's According to the Journal of Experimental Psychology, it's basically, if you need more motivation, you need to pay attention to the successful people around you, the industrious people. When we see or hear somebody running faster or working out harder or just being more industrious at their desk, we subconsciously try to keep up. We're competitive by nature, so you can use that to your advantage. Looking at the runner next to you, for example, can motivate you to go faster and further. I've seen it in the gym. Look this is why, you know, I you and I both have gyms in our house. We bought a bunch of weights. We can lift weights at home at any time we want, but both of us prefer to go to a gym because you're motivated by the people next to you. It's also why people like to work at coffee shops, and it's why run clubs are so popular around the country. It's over and over and over again we are reminded that we are social animals, and we thrive with a little bit of friendly competition. We thrive when we are pushed. And there is there is nothing that you can do that will match that you can try to cheat the system. You can go and find YouTube videos of very active offices. You can find, you know, the YouTube videos have the sounds of people working, and you can apply it to your own life, if you want to, and to your example, there's a Starbucks. It's not far from this studio, and just outside of the desk every day is one of the most powerful attorneys in Los Angeles, right there every day, and he's grinding out. And he wants to, he wants people to see that he's working hard. He wants to be pushed by other people who are working hard. There it is, hey, Gib, this just in people are posting lists on social media, and the headline is, quote, skills everybody should learn before turning 30. Okay, so see what you think of these. What is a skill everybody should learn before turning 30, the internet said, the poll said, swimming. Yeah, apparently it's crazy. How many adults who regularly surround themselves with water cannot swim. Look, you got to know how to swim. In case you're at a garden party and you fall into the fish pond. I mean, whatever. You can't. You can't live your whole life without going by water. All the cities are built on water. All of the farmland has to, has to route water. And there are, you know, if you're not by the ocean, you're by a quarry, and the quarry don't follow the quarry. If you can't swim, you got to learn how to swim. Oh, when I was in college, I used to, I used to teach at the, I don't think you know this, at the YMCA. I used to teach adult swimming. And it was amazing how terrified the people were who are like 3040, years old, who didn't have to swim, oh, because they've lived their whole lives worried if they fall. Right? Yeah. Also, a skill you should learn before 30 is basic cooking, being able to cook four or five proper dishes, since you need to eat every day, and if you want a date, you need to impress your date. Look, it also is a great way to save money. You need to be able to cook, and you can. Even if you're single and you're not cooking for a lot of people, meal prep, and knowing how to cook a few things for meal prep is hugely, hugely beneficial. The last thing to learn before you're 30 is how to apologize, according to this poll, sincerely taking accountability without excuses or defensive defensiveness. So this is not an apology. I'm sorry. You feel that? Oh no, it's not an apology. I'm sorry. You think I need to apologize? Also not an apology, and absolutely something that not I don't care what age you are, we have to learn it time for some exercise. Intel, Gib, if you're walking for exercise, experts say you need to ditch your romantic partner and go solo, because couples who walk together for exercise don't get the health boost they're hoping for. Purdue University studying this, they found both partners slow down compared to when they're walking alone, especially if they hold hands. We've talked about this before. My romantic partner, wife of 33 years, leaves me in the dust. She has some sort of perpetual motion thing with her legs. I cannot walk with her. Okay? I can't even find her. Yes. Was she? She's a fast walker, which I respect. I understand she's going to be walking fast. I also understand that some people, when they hold hands, they like to slow down a little bit. She will slow down for nothing. So you're you, you're not. I need handcuffs exactly, however. Let me just say that whether your your spouse, is a slow walker, a fast walker, whether you hold hands or not. I always say this on all of our coaching calls constantly the exercises that the exercise that you will do regularly is the best exercise you can do. So if walking alone is something you won't do, then obviously walking with your romantic partner a little bit slower while holding hands is better than not walking at all. If you are trying to, like, level up and you're training for a marathon, yeah, don't hold hands and walk with your partner. With your partner. If you see a couple on the street and you see that the guy's being dragged behind the woman, that's you. Here we go. Gib, with the latest from Professor Barbara Oakley from Oakland. Oh, that's cool. Barbara Oakley from Oakland University Captain him. She says, If you want to be more creative and productive, you need to make time to do absolutely nothing. Oh, you studied this. She says, just staring out the window for a few minutes helps your brain reinforce long term memory. So she says, the way to reset your chart and recharge your brain two things. One we've talked about before, take a tech free walk is number one. That means no Fitbit, no counting steps, because it creates tension. Instead, just wander and absorb the scenery, phone free. Yes, absolutely. Look, we are not bored enough. We are not disconnected enough, and we do not actually rest enough. We tell ourselves that we're taking a break, and then we check our emails on our phone. We tell ourselves we're going to pause on a project, and then we go work on something else. And look, that's great if you are in the middle of a flow state and you're trying to get a lot done. There is a time and a place for that, but we also need a time to rest. You need to unplug and not be stimulated. And a tech free walk is really important with no caveats, no, I just got to get my steps in. You're Not You got to have time where you're not trying to accomplish anything. Here's another one of her techniques, and we've given this tip, take a shower. It's easy to let your mind wander while you're doing something routine, like showering. That's the Aaron's even in the middle of a day. Aaron Sorkin, he takes four or five four or five showers a day when he's in the middle of a writing project, because it helps his mind wander. He cultivates the boredom and it gives him the creative breakthroughs he's looking for. Nice John teshuva, Gib Gerard, and if you want to make it easier to reach your fitness goals, experts say, start taking workout selfies. Oh, yeah, not like our friend Scotty Myers, who sends them to us all the time. But researchers tried nearly 300 people to see what motivated them to get into shape. Those who took full body photos every week, not necessarily sending them to other people, but just having them, yeah, it turns out you can see the gradual changes in your body. So you snap the workout selfie, and if anybody teases you, tell them, it keeps you motivated. It is. It's exactly why you need it for the motivation we do not. We need to have an honest look at ourselves. It is very motivating for us to do the little things that make us a little bit better. So you need to have, you need to have an honest look about what your skill set is. You can grow your skill set in your career. You have to have an honest look at your body before you go to the gym to understand that, oh my gosh, yes, I do need to work on this. I do need to progress. And this does not mean that you can't be happy with who you are and who you are like with yourself, but it does mean that if you want to be motivated an honest look. This is why we tell people to put a mirror in front of their refrigerator, right? So that when they go to reach for the snack, they're reminding themselves, do I need the do I need the snack? It's just a little, a little tweak that makes you self aware. That's why I have towels over every one of the mirrors in my house. I don't have to deal with it. This just in five and six Americans Gib five out of six Americans under the age of 18 have never used a postage stamp. I have to tell you, I have no idea how much a postage stamp is. Now, with the average one, I don't have no idea how much it takes to send a letter. How about you? Well, the reality is, is that many of us are sent. We send all of our stuff electronically. Now, right? So we very and if we're going to send something, we want to send. Something material, which means we go to the place, we get the box, and we have to get it weighed, and then they send it. So postage stamps are not used as commonly anymore, unless you're inviting someone to a wedding, and even those are done by evite Now, very often you people are not sending the amount of letters that they used to send. You can get one forever stamp, depending on I have. The last time I bought stamps and I bought a bunch, I think they were 27 cents each, and and I remember when I was so it's so it works forever. They're called forever. Since then, you don't have to change. You can have a pile of stamps, and then you have to get those little one and two set stamps. But they, but they, the price of them does actually increase over time. But what you paid for them is fixed, and now they're self adhesive. So there's all kinds of innovation in the stamp world. So I could buy a whole bunch of stamps, like 1000 stamps, and then, like, in 10 years, I could be, like, I'd be in a stamp business. Yes, you know, there's, there's a thing called stamp collecting that banks on this exact concept, not because it's useful. It's because, you know, might be a philatelist or a new domesticist. Numismatism is coin collecting. Oh, I think this is philatelist. Let us know. Folks, Gib, I went through this last night because I made the mistake of, I thought that, you know, watching a part of a movie would put me to sleep, and it was too intense, probably too much blue light. The journal frontiers in psychiatry says looking at your phone or tablet in bed for an hour, even if you're looking at emails, increases the risk of insomnia by nearly 60% Oh, absolutely. Look, we have a sleep crisis. Nobody is getting the right kind of sleep the right amount, and we have all kinds of health consequences associated with it. So we need as a group, as a society, we need to emphasize good sleep hygiene. And one of the things that we say over and over and over and over again, in addition to cutting out caffeine in the afternoon, in addition to in addition to not having a big fatty meal before within a couple hours of bed, the number one thing we should all be doing, and none of us does this last one. None of us pauses before bed and make sure that we're not looking at screens for at least an hour before bed. And that is like that is one of the if you come to me and you say you have a bed you're having a hard time with your sleep schedule, that's gonna be the first thing I ask is, how much are you on your phone right before sleep? Amen to that. All right, here's a conversation starter for you. It turns out because somebody did the data on this, Jack is the most common male characters name in movie scripts and your movie though. So So Jack Reacher, of course. Yeah. Jack Ryan from from all of those Tom fancy, clear and present danger Patriot Games. Jack Torrance in the in the shining, yeah. And then remember the lead character in the Titanic, played by Gerard DiCaprio. It's Jack, yeah, Jack Dawson. Jack Dawson, yeah. And there's the list just goes on and on. I wonder, I wonder why I can say, well, first of all, Jack is one of those names that is not. It does not stand out when you are even if it's a period piece, we feel like Jack is a name that exists now. It existed 50 years ago. It existed 50 years before that. So one it's easy. As an audience, if you're writing something, you know you're not going to take the audience out by naming the character Jack. The other thing is, as a writer, as somebody who hangs out with a lot of writers, a lot of times when you're starting your story, you don't know what to name your characters, so you've put a placeholder name in there, and it becomes jack, and then you're and then you fall in love with the character you've been writing it, and it just stays Jack. Yeah, I'm surprised there's not more Diane's. Yeah, exactly John Cougar Mellon did that for us. Very good Gib, and I was, it's come back in America, the hula hoop, and when I was growing up, and that was the thing. It was, it was hula hoops. It was, it was hopscotch, it was pickup sticks. You know, that's what we grew up with, people who remember that. But what I didn't know is that the over the years, the hula hoop has been banned in several countries around the world. Why? Because, quote, It simulates passion. So it's the same reason why Ed Sullivan didn't want Elvis on there. They wanted them to shoot him from the waist up, because they didn't want to see his hips. The hip gyration simulates passion. I think it's reason why a lot of people should get hula hoops. That is, that is an unbelievable thing. I I have, no, we have, actually, here in the house, we have a weighted one, weighted exercise. It's good exercise. And apparently, now we know that a lot of countries think it's also good practice. So I'm gonna have to pick up a couple hula hoops see if I can do it. Yeah, the hula hoop simulates passion. I can't get all the way through it, so I guess I'm not a passionate person. This is a delicate way to prove Yes, I love it. That's it for the show today. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you like the show, please rate, comment and subscribe on Apple podcast. Spotify, wherever you get your podcast. It helps us out a lot when you do that. Uh. We also try to respond to every mention the show, every DM about the show, you can tell us what you think about it, because ultimately, we do the show for you guys. So thank you so much for listening. You.