Melissa M: Faith, Family, and Finding Joy

Motherhood rarely looks the way we imagined. For Melissa, it meant recovering from a C-section, navigating digestive issues and IBS, caring for a chronically ill husband, and raising a daughter during the COVID-19 pandemic, all while grieving the loss of her parents.

In this conversation, Melissa shares her journey of balancing caregiving with motherhood, managing her own health, and finding joy in simple practices like journaling, coloring, and walking. With honesty and faith, she shows us how building a “toolbox” of self-care practices can help parents hold both grief and joy at the same time.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Caregiving is both a calling and a challenge. Melissa’s professional and personal experiences highlight the toll caregiving takes, and the need for support.
• Postpartum recovery doesn’t have an expiration date. Even years later, healing physically, emotionally, and spiritually is valid and important.
• The pandemic compounded isolation. Melissa became a new mom while caring for her husband during COVID-19, amplifying stress and burnout.
• Self-care isn’t selfish. From journaling to coloring with her daughter, Melissa models simple ways to integrate peace into daily life.
• Faith and community are anchors. Spiritual practice, church groups, and online communities became lifelines in seasons of loss and overwhelm.
• Peace is proactive. As Melissa shares, finding peace requires intentional effort, not passive waiting. 

🎧 Soundbites

• “Caregivers are often told to pour from an empty cup — but I refuse to be a statistic.”
• “Postpartum recovery doesn’t stop at six weeks. Sometimes it takes years — and that’s okay.”
• “My daughter has never known life without caregiving, but I want her to also know joy.”
• “Finding peace isn’t passive. It’s active, intentional, and sometimes uncomfortable.”
• “Coloring with my daughter isn’t just playtime — it’s healing time.”
• “Even in seasons of grief, you can still choose joy.”
• “Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s survival.”
• “Every parent deserves to know: you are seen, and you matter.”

Transcript

Chelsea Myers (00:01)
Welcome to Quiet Connection, a podcast dedicated to ending the stigma around postpartum mental health. I'm Chelsea. Today I'm joined by Melissa, a mom, caregiver, and former CNA who has walked through some of the toughest seasons of motherhood and life. From C-section recovery to caring for her father, mother, and husband through their various health challenges to raising her daughter during the pandemic.

Melissa shares openly about balancing grief and joy and how she's found peace through faith, self-care, and community. This is an episode full of honesty, resilience, and hope. Here's Melissa.

Chelsea Myers (00:43)
Hello! Today I'm here with Melissa. Melissa, how are you?

Melissa Miller (00:49)
Good. Thank you for having me, Chelsea. It's a pleasure to be here.

Chelsea Myers (00:52)
I am so excited to have you. I'm always super excited when I, ⁓ I mean, I'm always excited to connect with everybody, but I'm, I'm, get that like extra little glimmer when it's a guest who has like reached out through our email or through our website, which you did. And I was like, ⁓ hey, it's people actually know it exists. So thank you for that. Well,

Melissa Miller (01:16)
haha

Chelsea Myers (01:19)
Like I always say, rather than listing off things about you that I have learned, I would love it and my listeners would love it if you could sort of let us know who is Melissa today and then who were you before you became a parent.

Melissa Miller (01:37)
Well, today I'm the busy mom to an energetic six-year-old who I just actually we just actually found out yesterday that she has improved and she's moving. We're only we just finished the first week of school and she's getting promoted to first grade on Monday. She did junior kindergarten and kindergarten and then at the end of last year they were saying that she was just not ⁓ quite

Chelsea Myers (01:55)
my goodness!

Melissa Miller (02:04)
where she needs to be with maturity and competence and things like that. But ⁓ they've noticed a change in her even within the first week. Cause obviously, you she has a different teacher, but the, like the principal and the specialist teacher are still continuing to very much work with her and they were just thrilled. So they're like, you know what? She's, she's, she's actually advanced now than her peers. So let's bump her up into first grade. And I really liked that they were just so careful with choosing a

teacher that there's two options. ⁓ since math is kind of a struggle, they do they did mention that this and there's a new I guess math curriculum and everything now. ⁓ And so she this teacher is very well skilled in it with handling it with the kids. So she said that would be a great fit for our daughter. So ⁓ but so that was really cool. So I'm on cloud nine. So I actually have to go shopping for a few more school supplies today for Monday because we don't

Chelsea Myers (02:55)
Yeah!

Melissa Miller (02:59)
But we moved what we could from her kindergarten classroom, but there's a few other tools that they need, know, things they need for ⁓ what she'll do in first grade. So I have a first grader now. So I'm like, ⁓ so yeah. And moving her up at church too. We're going to have her moved up into the first through sixth grade program too. you know, the whole thing, like when your kids go through a season, ⁓ you want that to be kind of cohesive across, you know, so they're with their same peer group and she's so excited because

Chelsea Myers (03:09)
That's exciting.

Melissa Miller (03:28)
She missed it both at school and at church. She's been really missing her friends that did progress. And obviously we've been, really like how our principal put it yesterday of like, you I don't like using the word held back, you know, just need more time. And so, you know, we were wanting to give them, give her more time in both areas, but now we're moving forward and they're hitting it the gas and moving forward. like, okay. So, so that's been very exciting. ⁓ Before I was a mom, I was a full-time certified nursing assistant.

Chelsea Myers (03:41)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (03:56)
⁓ worked primarily in long-term healthcare facilities. I did that up until my husband and I, married and even after we married for several years. and I was just your average, you know, 20 to 30 something year old, depending on what time age range between before we actually had kids, ⁓ you know, that you would expect worked hard. I love a good, ⁓ Jane Austen movie. I love to knit. love to, ⁓ I've gotten into adult coloring, ⁓ with, some.

Chelsea Myers (04:19)
You

Melissa Miller (04:24)
adult coloring books that my husband has gotten for me both Downton Abbey and then I found some recently that I'm really loving that actually have Bible verses in them so that's very calming and encouraging and then some other ones just for stress and anxiety because I am prone to stress and anxiety but who isn't ⁓ but right yeah so that's kind of this little spiel and then between that in between all those things you know switching from

Chelsea Myers (04:34)
Peace.

Right, yeah.

Melissa Miller (04:50)
healthcare career into an online career. And even as we speak at the time of recording this, I'm transitioning from my business that model I had, it's kind of, I'm kind of pulling back on that because it's not working as well as I thought. And I'm shifting into doing some other stuff on the side. So freelancing, things like that. We'll see how that goes. anyway, lots of stuff across the spectrum of who I am, but it's definitely, there's things that are still the same from when I was.

Chelsea Myers (05:11)
Yeah!

Melissa Miller (05:17)
I became a mother but then there's obviously things that have changed since I have become a mother so

Chelsea Myers (05:22)
Yeah, it seems like a season of shifts for you and your daughter right now. ⁓ But you've got, you've got a really good outlook on it. And you're like, you're already listing these tools, these coping skills that are, that are helping you navigate these changes and these shifts. So yeah.

Melissa Miller (05:40)
Yeah.

Well, and it's interesting too. It's like, just turned 40 a couple of months ago too on top of it. So heading into that day decade now and just being very mindful of my health. I'm also a primary caregiver for my husband too, I've, which I've been for six years now. So that's, so that, that component too on my plate is something. So for me, you know, being diligent, I think the thing with like any season, just being diligent about what you need in that season.

Chelsea Myers (05:51)
Mmm.

Melissa Miller (06:08)
⁓ so for me it's, ⁓ I love Leslie Sanson. ⁓ she's, ⁓ she's not doing any videos now, but I have her whole collection. I've been collecting her video, her walk at home videos, and just prioritizing those 45 minutes a day to do workouts. And, working with my leveraging other tools, like, ⁓ with my insurance, the kind of insurance I have now, they had this perk with it's called the hinge app and

There's all these amazing ⁓ exercises and plus I get a health coach, I get a physical therapist. And finally getting to address six years postpartum, almost seven years postpartum, but that's okay. ⁓ My pelvic floor and healing that. so ⁓ with each subsequent season comes different needs for your body, be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. And I'm so thankful I have that, that I have, I'm getting, I'm being blessed with

Chelsea Myers (06:37)
⁓ wow.

Yeah!

Melissa Miller (06:59)
resources to help me managing those, like you say, ⁓ mechanisms in a healthy way, in a healthy way for whatever outward stresses and things like that that are being hit with.

Chelsea Myers (07:13)
Yeah, for sure. And I'm glad that you mentioned too that like, even though it's six almost seven years later, we can still we can still work on those things left over from that postpartum period. ⁓ As unfortunate as it is that they didn't get addressed immediately. like, let's so let's go back in time a little bit. Let's speaking of postpartum. ⁓ And even before that, even before that, did you

Melissa Miller (07:26)
Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Chelsea Myers (07:41)
Always imagine yourself as someone having kids.

Melissa Miller (07:46)
Um, yes, I, I knew, I knew by the age of 10 very vividly. don't know what sparked it, but I knew at 10, I wanted three things to be in the health would be in the healthcare industry in some way, or form. I would be married. wanted to get married and I wanted to have children. Now, initially I thought I wanted to have two to four children, but because I have, um, I kind of, my husband is so cute. He knows I love Jane Austen and a lot of the heroines at the time, because the only profession back then in the 1700s, early 1800s was to marry well.

Chelsea Myers (07:47)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (08:15)
to help support your family. Otherwise you became a spinster and you were at the mercy of, you know, very good friends, family, or even just your relatives, like your brothers to take care of you and support you. Otherwise you had nothing ⁓ to support you to live off of. And so my husband's so cute. He's like, she's just following her Jane Austen novels or movies because there is that age gap, because it was not uncommon for back then for a girl.

of 17, 18 to marry a man of 35. Now, so for me, it meant at 26, I married a guy that was 45, that turned 45 two days before our wedding. So not the most conventional, but so there is an almost 20 year age gap between us, it doesn't matter. He considers me an equal. We're a good team and we make it know, okay, I'm just living it out.

Chelsea Myers (08:55)
Yeah.

Yeah, my, my paternal grandparents were 20 years apart in age and they had one of the most beautiful marriages I've, mean, they, they, yes, anyway, age is, is not a determiner. No, it's just a number. No.

Melissa Miller (09:17)
Just a number. And I'm not saying it works for everybody. I mean, you

have to make it work. ⁓ But I think it's been so good for us because with my husband, I'm from a very stable background. And not to say that what he went through as a kid is any way, or form is fault. But I love that being with my family has allowed him to have some stability and get a new perspective. And I've been so proud of him for how he has evolved. And me too. It goes both ways. ⁓ But for him, especially just to just

grow and learn ⁓ in a new way and be open and be so open-minded because that's the thing with a marriage right or any relationship right it has to be a kind of an element of some give and take it can't be just one and done so absolutely yeah

Chelsea Myers (09:50)
Yeah.

Mm Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

⁓ so yeah, I love that. I love that you mentioned that too, because it it does. It's like a little wink from from my grandparents to age is just a number. but that does it's interesting. It may impact how you discussed having a family. So like, was that something that

Melissa Miller (10:21)
Oh yes, actually

it did. Well, two, for two reasons. One, obviously the age gap. My husband was in his mid forties. I was in my mid twenties when we started, when we got married and we tried, started trying within six months of when we got married because I also already knew in the pipeline, I had some, I'd always had irregular cycles and I still do. It's kind of leveled off somewhat and later in my thirties and forties, but it's still there.

Chelsea Myers (10:29)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (10:49)
⁓ So that was kind of just a thing in my mind and I'm glad I went there because it did take us some time. We did find out that when we tried for a year, year and a half and nothing was we figured out that I had some infertility issues with my irregular cycles, possible PMS, never figured out ⁓ PCOS, we never knew for sure. And obviously the testing and what you can go, the whole gamut and route you could go down.

IVF and things like that. That was just crazy. that led to my husband getting tested. They were worried that his sperm count wasn't good or that his shape, you know, which was going to make it difficult for him to actually fertilize an egg. So that's when they were thinking about doing like, you a procedure. It's a step down from IVF. cannot remember the name of it.

Chelsea Myers (11:34)
IUI?

Is it IUI? Yep. ⁓

Melissa Miller (11:36)
IUI yes, doing IUI to

help us. but even that was expensive. So we went for the less of the less evasive and less expensive route of what we could do is doing a mix of Clomid and progesterone. And, oh, that was horrible progesterone, you know, to keep my cycles regular Clomid to make sure I ovulated, um, lots of lab appointments, which I was already used to getting poked and prodded a lot because of my hypothyroidism, you know, cause have to do lab draws for that.

Chelsea Myers (11:49)
Mmm.

Melissa Miller (12:02)
So, but that led to a whole gamut of, you know, a six year long battle of having, of struggling. then, but what did it though is that, ⁓ is that I started having a lot of digestive problems. And so I actually went vegan ⁓ about five to six months before we got pregnant and that did it. I dropped 30 pounds and we got pregnant. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (12:22)
Wow.

Melissa Miller (12:29)
Pregnancy went pretty well up until the second trimester, but then I started all of a sudden, started about week 33, I think it was, or 32, I started measuring two weeks ahead on my fundal height. So we knew something was wrong. So then we started going to the specialist and then that's when they figured out at all this extra amniotic fluid and it had two tests to test for gestational diabetes. But obviously the test can be wrong or, you know, can come back with a false positive or false negative.

Chelsea Myers (12:53)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (12:57)
That's probably what happened because I just kept, mean, by the time we had my C-section, my scheduled C-section, because my daughter also went transverse, stubborn kid. Yeah. And so we had to have a scheduled C-section. So then that made postpartum even crazier because ⁓ here I was having major surgery and then the digestive problems continued. ⁓ Then we were hit with my husband starting to get sick in December of 2019 before my husband.

Chelsea Myers (13:05)
So did mine.

Melissa Miller (13:25)
or excuse me, before our daughter turned one in January of 2020. Then we had the pandemic. Then the digestive problems kept getting worse. I kept going back and forth between a regular diet and my vegan diet and nothing was working. And then I started having more food intolerances, which led to, fast forward to December of 2021, I finally, after a year of testing and everything else, we with IBS.

Chelsea Myers (13:29)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Melissa Miller (13:48)
It's

been a lot of, I've taken, and then I have a skin disorder on top of that, but I was diagnosed last fall. So there's been a lot of things going on with my own health on top of my husband being diagnosed with epilepsy and also he gets stress-related seizures and then raising our daughter and trying to get some income coming in consistently the way I need with work, even with my online career, even though it hasn't gone the way I thought, feeling the pressure from family or friends, like it needed to be something, but then.

Chelsea Myers (13:53)
Huh.

Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (14:18)
But the priority is I need to be at home with my family because my husband's very adamant. He wants me to be the one to take care of him. And he wants our daughter to be taken care of by me because child care is just like, it's at that point of like, would be, I pretty much would just be paying for just childcare and a caregiver if I went back to work. We wouldn't be making any extra profit plus that, you know what I mean? So, and just still feeling like there's something for me to give. It's different, yeah.

Chelsea Myers (14:35)
Yeah.

Yeah?

It is different.

You're so you're a self-described caregiver. And it really does sort of like permeate into your whole life. Like you were a CNA, which we love CNAs. We love nurses in general, ⁓ especially my family. They, the nurses are the unsung heroes in the medical field as are the CNAs and as are the everyone in But caregiving in general just feels kind of

or sounds like it feels like you're calling. So, yeah.

Melissa Miller (15:16)
It does. It does.

Well, and I've done it. It's interesting. I did it professionally for 15 years, primarily in long-term care for those elderly dementia patients. They're the forgotten generation. And I loved it. I loved it. was such an honor to work with those families at the, what I call Twilight years, last years until they go to be a light to them. And then ⁓ personally, have care, I cared as a family, my whole family, we all worked together to take care, took turns taking care of my grandmother until she passed.

Chelsea Myers (15:33)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (15:46)
⁓ the last two years of her life, And then, she would move around to different houses and like with my parents' house, like the house that I live in now was my, used to be my parents before they passed. And so they would bring grandma here for two weeks. And then we would just update the team about where she was going to be. And they would come and make.

house calls and visits here, which is great. so that was up until she passed in May of 2018, my grandmother, but then again, in December of 2019 was when my husband started showing symptoms. And so I started taking care of him and that's still been ongoing. But then my mother,

passed away in September of 2021. And so then we moved in with my dad into the house where we are now. And I took care of him up until his last breath in July of 2023. And so I've done this a couple of times. So, but I'm thankful for my professional experience because most caregivers, family caregivers, they don't have the benefit of a medical certification or

Chelsea Myers (16:21)
you

Yeah.

Yeah, you've been through this.

Melissa Miller (16:42)
medical training experience to fall back on that is save my hide. And especially in caring for my husband. mean, every, every caregiving situation between these three different family members have obviously been way different. but the skills that you need to do at managing medications, triaging symptoms, communicating with doctors, creating progress notes. mean, the, skills are all the same. You're just watching out for different things when you're doing it. So.

Chelsea Myers (17:02)
Yeah.

Absolutely. And it sounds like too. So I know that you said like, you were doing this obviously professionally, but then even in your personal life, so just before you had your daughter, and then then you're dealing with having a c section having pregnancy symptoms that are

that are challenging for you while while you are also being a caregiver while trying to advocate for yourself. How did that impact that as well as the c-section? How did that impact your vision, the vision you had of what motherhood was going to be like when the reality sunk in?

Melissa Miller (17:26)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, right.

Well, that first year's 2020 just totally ripped out, ripped the rag or the rug right out underneath us. It totally changed what we thought. Um, cause when I was pregnant, we, when we found out we were pregnant, we immediately started thinking, okay, how are we going to make this work? Um, because we knew we couldn't pay for daycare. We didn't want to do it because around where we live, it's as much as like a rent payment, you or a mortgage payment. It's expensive. And we're just talking about one kid. I don't know how people pay for daycare for

Chelsea Myers (18:08)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (18:13)
three or four children. It's ridiculously expensive. Oh my word. So we started figuring out, okay, what are we going to do? So we decided I'm more of a morning person. we got me on, I started working day shift and then my husband went on swing shift and he likes that anyway. So that works out to them that we could overlap by like half an hour. So I could get home, he could get the baby in the bouncer and then I could shower, you know, or whatever, and then just take over and he could go to work.

So we started doing that because, you know, we just started anticipating that. we did okay after we would initially brought our daughter home. But then when he started having symptoms, that was a problem. He had more episodes.

By April of 2020, we were having a real problem because that was the first month they had 10 to 20 plus seizures. The first month that happened. then so I was, you know, I'm still, I was a year postpartum then, But the problem was I was dealing with all the digestive problems. So was all those extra trips to the bathroom, which was now I know it was my IBS, you know, cause it was not under control.

Chelsea Myers (18:57)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Melissa Miller (19:12)
And so trying to deal with that and then stress makes my condition worse. Both of our conditions, stress is the biggest symptom or trigger that you have to keep down. So it's not so bad. But it was through the roof with everything going on because we were all dealing with the pandemic too. you know, and so it was just insane. So and my mother was struggling with health too. I mean, she was in kidney failure.

Chelsea Myers (19:21)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you had

Melissa Miller (19:37)
So she was on dialysis treatments, and so there was just so much going on.

On top of everything else that we were dealing with as a world nation, know, nationally, nationally, statewide, nationally and worldwide with the pandemic that shut everything down and was rewriting the book on everything that we could normally do. So here I am a first time mom dealing with health, dealing with now two chronic illnesses. I hadn't had the diagnosis of my skin disorder yet. And caring for my husband who has incurable chronic illness, being a first time mom, it's like, you know,

Chelsea Myers (19:41)
Yeah!

Melissa Miller (20:10)
You know, I was just, mean, I'm a religious woman, but still that I still had those moments. Like how much more shit can we take seriously? Because it was so bad. It was like, Lord, I know you have a purpose and a plan for us. Cause you, cause you know, I firmly believe that, you know, God doesn't give you the desires of your heart for no reason. So for a 10 year old girl to know that I wanted to be in the healthcare industry, which I had to done get married. I had done, and then to be a mother I had done, but I didn't ask for all the other.

Chelsea Myers (20:17)
Yes!

Yes!

Melissa Miller (20:39)
stuff that goes with it, you know what I mean? It's like,

oh my gosh. And so it was just crazy. It was just crazy about how much the deck was stacked against. the irony too about, with my parents, it was more reversed. My mom was the one who was sick from the time she was 20, I believe, until she passed away at 70. And so, you know, and so daddy was very much used to taking care of mom from,

taking care of mama from a young age and kudos to him. mean, you just did it with patience of Job you know, and the, you know, faith of Jacob. I mean, he would just, you know, really I can remember it because he used to be a pastor for 33 years. So I remember he would work, you know, long days because of the pastor, not always in the office. You're out making, you know, attending to the sick, you know, and talking about stuff, writing a sermon and

Chelsea Myers (21:13)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (21:31)
doing outreach stuff to minister to the community and help out in that capacity. So he would be in and out and gone all day, come home, make dinner, still help ⁓ get dinner on the table, take care of mom, but then only to get a call saying that someone had been in an accident and they were needing some ⁓ faith support, which is his job. he loved his calling more than anything ⁓ to go to the hospital or their home, wherever the situation was. then he'd come back like maybe at 10 o'clock midnight now.

Chelsea Myers (21:50)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (22:01)
So, ⁓ but he did it and he made it work. ⁓ And, you know, here I am, I'm kind of doing the same thing. I may not be a pastor, but the role reversal. And so I gather so much strength in that, in that example of just really trying to make it work. ⁓ It's not easy. Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (22:08)
Yeah, that role reversal, like you said. ⁓

Yeah.

Well, those are no, and those are both,

those are both caregiving roles. Those are both so like, so to hear you say that you take a lot of a lot of like inspiration and a lot of you hold a lot of respect for that. Like it mimic it really does mimic you say you're not a pastor, but you you are administering care to those around you and those who love you and that you love and

Melissa Miller (22:26)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (22:47)
My question is where are you in all of this? Like this is the worst question in the world that I hate that everyone asks moms especially is like, well, what are you doing to take care of yourself? Because your first thought is when? When am I supposed to take care of myself? Yeah.

Melissa Miller (23:03)
Yeah, yeah, and I didn't I'm gonna be just brutally honest y'all I

did not I mean I totally my I it took me I'd say it was an until it was in 2021 2022 Started the process of working on myself. It started with working with I hired for a short time a Christian life coach that I really loved because I was learning I was really growing and how I figured figuring out took me like 30 some years, but I finally figured out about

Because I'd always been inconsistent, even being a former pastor's daughter, I was just very inconsistent with my devotional time. I I needed to do it, but I was never able to find what works for me. figuring out that just reading a little bit of scripture and a passage, not trying to read the whole chapter, no one can remember whole chapter. what I really started learning from that, and I still actually do this to this day, and I've really started leveraging the Bible app for this, but you're taking devotionals like that off there.

Chelsea Myers (23:36)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (24:00)
⁓ I choose ones that specifically relate to journaling. love to journal. and again, this is something I remember from my mom too. I don't know if she did it this way, but I do remember she used to write out prayers. So she would be at the dining room table, have her Bible, her study tool, whether it's a devotional series or a book or something, you know, and then she'd have her notebook and she'd write prayers. And that has helped me so much because I'm sorry, y'all, my mind will just wander and I will go to sleep.

Chelsea Myers (24:05)
Mmm.

Melissa Miller (24:28)
if I try to just sit and pray this way, but writing really actually helps. And then it also helps me just get other stuff out. And so the one I'm doing right now, it's called Peace in Five Minutes or Daily Peace in Five Minutes or something like that. And it has a verse, it's been the same verse for the whole series, but ⁓ she keeps sharing it because she's trying to get us to memorize it. I'm actually, and so every morning I practice writing it out and see how much I can get without making a mistake. And I finally am just about there where I have it memorized. So.

So that way I can have it for another, for when I do have those moments of stress and anxiety. And so that's been great. And then the way this one is, she has ⁓ like ⁓ a prompt where she basically kind of is sharing the concept of something. And then she has a prod where she actually has you, she basically gives you kind of like a journal question or two to journal on. And then she has a praise where you listen to a song ⁓ that goes along with that. And that I just love because that's when I'll start

Cause when I'm listening to that, that's why I do the last section prayer. I just start writing out prayers of what I'm thinking on kind of journaling on brain dumping, if you will. ⁓ what is kind of coming to mind with looking at those questions. And that just really helps because I have, I just, and I just build on it. Cause it's cause I like doing series like that where it builds on one thing to another. And I have learned so much and just, and just figuring out that things that's the way I best worn and study is just little snippets three to five.

versus maybe even just one verse for a month and then like different ideas and perspectives on a topic or a subject and then just learning about it and kind of journaling, kind of, you know, just communicating with the Lord that way. That's what really works well for me. So spiritually and mentally and emotionally, I'd say that's what really works. But then also getting reconnecting with my hobbies. Like before it took me until about, I'd say, like I said, 2021, 2022, well, probably more like 2022 before I really got into knitting again.

Chelsea Myers (26:24)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (26:24)
Because

I've been doing that since I was 10. So it's got reconn- So reconnecting with your past Passions that light you up even before you like you say came up with all these different roles quote-unquote roles That has been really helpful and then taking on new ones getting into adult coloring. I actually am loving my husband bought me this beautiful huge double-ended Tip coloring set and then you know, we've been having fun

Chelsea Myers (26:36)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (26:52)
And my daughter too, because you know, it's something I can do with my daughter. We like to color together. So she does her Disney cartoon type books. And then I get the, I've been really getting into, like I say, like, ⁓ Downton Abbey ones or, ⁓ calm slash stress ones that are, that are specifically with the idea of like the, coloring is like for stress and anxiety or like, ⁓ now finding ones that are actually Christian based Bible based where they have verses or, ⁓

Chelsea Myers (26:54)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (27:21)
scenes and stuff that are calming. And that's been helpful. And then also to something else I'm just getting started with. mentioned the hinge app earlier that I'm doing for my insurance to work on ⁓ wellness. That way we're getting the, you know, working with my physical therapist and my, and my health coach, ⁓ leveraging different exercises. So I do my 45 minute walk at home cardio workouts, like I said before, but then I'm also pairing, ⁓ there's meditations on there that I'm going to try. And then also

I really love what I can do with the app, working with my PT therapist. she can actually create kind of a greatest playlist, I guess, as you, if you will, of exercises. Cause I have a certain allotment each week or each day that I'm, that they suggest. then, ⁓ as I go, if there's exercises and I'm like really liking, or that I really want to just like, I really want to push myself. I want to keep, I want to work on these better. So I would like them to, but you know, they're kind of here and there in different workout.

Chelsea Myers (27:58)
Cool.

Melissa Miller (28:19)
regimes. she's actually, she's restarted a thread where she's like, okay, tell me which exercises that you really like and want to work on. And I'll throw them in your playlist. That way it just so that way your lit, your playlist will grow with just the specific, ⁓ exercises that you want to come back to and keep going on. Because I love with these exercises too, is that, or this app is that they give you like the first instructional of like how the exercise is supposed to look.

but then they also give you a second one with which they call modifications. So if you're like starting at zero, like with your pelvic floor, like I am all the damage, know, C section six, seven years postpart, that's okay. They give you an easier modification version or like, I love too, they also give you a version for advanced. like, let's say you've mastered the, you've gone past the modification phase. You can do it like the way they actually expect you to, if you are a little bit more stronger and fit and capable.

Chelsea Myers (28:49)
Mmm.

Yeah!

Melissa Miller (29:15)
And then they take you a step beyond that. So they don't want you to, so they really make it to wherever you're at or whatever goal you have, there's an option for you.

I mean, I haven't lost a ton of weight, but I've gotten strength from it. And if nothing else is good for my mental health and it's helped me maintain my weight. And with my health coach and PT therapist, now they're like, okay, you know, this, feel like that's the season now where, okay, let's see if we can control these IBS symptoms so we can kind of start tackling that. So, you know, it's okay if it's taken a few years, but I'm getting there. And cause I, cause the goal, overall goals I want to be here.

Chelsea Myers (29:29)
Okay.

Yeah!

Melissa Miller (29:51)
for the long haul ⁓ for my little girl and my husband.

Chelsea Myers (29:52)
Absolutely. Absolutely.

I think what I love so much about everything that you just described is that it's all of it's like multiple modalities of not only self care, but just like health care and health maintenance. And it sounds like faith is definitely like the anchor in which a lot of your ⁓

Melissa Miller (30:10)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Chelsea Myers (30:20)
lot of your like peace and healing and comfort comes from, but you also have this immense toolbox full of things that help you navigate. mean, the stress, like you said, you were kind of thrust into motherhood ⁓ in a perfect storm. ⁓ Like, again, reiterating COVID, it was COVID times and your husband was struggling with a new diagnosis and you're going through your own diagnosis and you had a C-section

which I, anyone who ever says that a C-section is the easy way out is no, absolutely not. ⁓ The recovery from a C-section is so insane and I can't imagine going through that while also balancing everything else.

Melissa Miller (30:55)
No!

Chelsea Myers (31:07)
So I'm curious, again, like you said, you went through challenges towards the end of your pregnancy and you did, you had these wonderful coping skills, but these are things that you're developing and that you're getting more comfortable in.

Now, six or seven years later, when you were newly postpartum, and when like you had just had your daughter, what, how do I even word this?

Melissa Miller (31:25)
Yeah.

Just spit it out. Spit it out, girl. Just say it. I can see you're overthinking. Your brain is working way too hard for your own liking.

Chelsea Myers (31:37)
I'm just... Just say it how you feel it. ⁓

my god, that's

just what that's my OCD. ⁓ But like, what really tethered you in those moments? Did you find it difficult to step into motherhood? Like, a you're physically recovering every every birth is a physical recovery, but you're physically recovering from major surgery. And you're also caregiving and you have a newborn having a newborn in general is completely life altering. What

Melissa Miller (32:04)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (32:14)
What was your mental health like at that point? How are you feeling about motherhood?

Melissa Miller (32:21)
Honestly, no, I I felt you know, I did kind of feel like Jonah, know where you just kind of where yours just kind of spit out You know from the whale, you know after being just so being not to say that was disobedient but just kind of going like here you go and it's like Figure it out. ⁓ You know, honestly, I don't know cuz there was just so much going on if that makes sense There was I had so much going on recovery ⁓ You know trying to get back on track with my digestive

Chelsea Myers (32:33)
Yeah, figure it out.

Yeah.

Melissa Miller (32:51)
That was fun. know, 2019 wasn't too bad, but 2020 was where, you know, crap was really starting to hit the fan. So we were dealing with a pandemic. We were trying to be so careful, you know, because we were both frontline workers. My husband worked in a gas station, which he still does to this day. And then I was CNA. So I'm around and I'm dealing with, you know, concerned about not only my family, but the other families that were serving because we had shut down. And so it was horrible.

for the patients because they were isolated. couldn't even just, they couldn't even eat together. They were eating in their rooms. You know, we had a gown up every time we went in. I mean, it was just such a different time. And some of them really went downhill because of that, which was so sad to see. So I don't know. It's definitely by the grace of God I got through that point. I don't know how I did, but I did. And

Chelsea Myers (33:19)
Mm.

Do you feel like you

ever even got to do you feel like you just kind of were were like not coasting because coasting sounds easy, but you were just kind of like riding the roller coaster like you didn't even have time to think about it. Yeah.

Melissa Miller (33:53)
I think so, but I did burn out by 2021. was

by end of 2020 into 2021, I was burnt out though. And that's when the, that's when I started dealing with my life coach and everything. Cause I was just, I was done. I mean, there was just so much going on, trying to get work at my business, health, dealing, taking care of a one year old, dealing with a chronic illness I'd never had experienced with in my 15 year career in healthcare. ⁓

Concerned about my mother and my father and their health and my father had chronic health issues too, obviously, but he was putting those aside to care for mama. And, I couldn't physically help because, you know, COVID. So yeah, there was just so much going on. It was insane. There was just so much going on. So.

Chelsea Myers (34:23)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah. And for everyone, but like for you, like I just keep coming back to this perfect storm reference. it just, right? Like, yeah. No, it's not. again, like, so as a fellow chronic illness and recently disabled warrior, ⁓ it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop and it doesn't slow down. And as mom,

Melissa Miller (34:42)
It was the perfect storm and it still is the perfect storm. mean, it's not over.

Chelsea Myers (35:01)
we're kind of just expected, I don't know if you feel this way, but a lot of people were kind of just expected to set our needs aside. yeah, and, but that I think is why I love that so much of what you've focused on so far in our chat is all of the ways that you are dedicating time to yourself, even if it's small, yes.

Melissa Miller (35:11)
Yeah.

I need it. There's no way I'm going to

survive. you know, and I was actually talking to my husband about this the other day is that, know, you know, if I don't take, don't want there's statistically caregivers are going to are prone to be come patients very quickly because of all the stress and energy they pour out to caring for their loved ones and they can take them down. I don't know when my husband will pass. I don't know when I will pass, but

Chelsea Myers (35:45)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Miller (35:49)
Probably statistically he will go before I will and then I'll still have to be here with our daughter I mean ideally, you know, we want I want him to be here till she's grown You know, ⁓ but I also I want to have I was still want to have gas The big thing is I want to still have gas in the tank ⁓ after I'm done caring for him and I and be present be able to be present present with my with our daughter and You know if she's in the season where she's having children or you know, she doesn't have children, you know just to be present with her and soak up whatever time I have with her so

Chelsea Myers (35:57)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Melissa Miller (36:19)
You know, I want, I don't want to be a statistic. I really want to, you know, cause I already have three chronic illnesses under my belt too. So it's like, you know what? I don't want to be taken down.

Chelsea Myers (36:29)
I admire that so much. do. I'm still like this is not about me and this is not my time, but I'm still in the early stages of this whole thing. So that mentality is hard to hold on to. So I do admire that. I do admire that. And it also sounds like you mentioned it before, like doing things for yourself that you can also include your daughter in, like the coloring. I know you kept saying adult.

Melissa Miller (36:43)
yeah.

Chelsea Myers (36:54)
colouring and all I wanted is like I kept wanting to be like, it's just colouring. Like colouring is colour. You can colour doesn't matter how old you are. But I understand what you mean with like the content of the books that you're colouring in. But like, you're modelling for your daughter that even when things are really challenging, I mean, your daughter has never known life any other way. Like, no.

Melissa Miller (37:05)
Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

No, mean,

she, you know, I mean, she can, I, when she was one, she, she would cry and, know, when daddy would have a seizure, she didn't understand what a seizure was. And, um, but the sweetest thing I remember a few times where she would be come up and like, um, you know, I would need to be taking care of him, giving him his rescue medication or calling the doctor or calling the EMTs and saying, this is what happened when he fell or whatever. Um, she would just come up and just stroke his head. You know, that was her way of trying to make daddy better.

Chelsea Myers (37:26)
Yeah!

Mmm.

Melissa Miller (37:46)
⁓ but yeah, she's known, she's known no other life. And so that's hard. And I've known no other life either with my parents growing up. mean, you know, my mom was very active with me. growing up, mean, dad would be the one that would go out and like throw up basketball and the hoop with me or, ⁓ play a game of catch with me with our baseball mitts But mom was the one that would still, ⁓ who would get me up every morning. Even she'd had a horrible night. She was with her fibromyalgia or whatever she'd get up and

Chelsea Myers (38:01)
Yeah. ⁓

Melissa Miller (38:13)
do my hair or get me through my bath, save all my school papers and do school time with me, help me practice and reinforce the mistakes I made. She was very invested, even though she was very sick and I knew no other life except, mean, there was obviously times where she was a little more healthy and wasn't feeling as bad. But yeah, I knew no other life either and and my daughter, she knows no other life.

Chelsea Myers (38:39)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (38:40)
but

I wanna make it as good for us as can, so.

Chelsea Myers (38:43)
Well, and it

sounds like you are. Like I said, like what you're setting this beautiful example for her that things can be hard, but they can also be okay. It's okay. And like you said, like coloring together, even when you're burnt out and you're completely spent, you can color. can just sit next to each other and color or, and celebrating these wins that they sound

Melissa Miller (38:52)
Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (39:10)
like little wins, but they're huge wins like moving up, moving up to first grade. That's a huge win and like honoring that and celebrating that. ⁓ so I just think from the sounds of it, and obviously with all my guests, I've only known you from the time that we've said hello until, until the time that we say goodbye. But it sounds like despite the challenges that your family has faced and that you have personally faced, you are intentionally

choosing joy and finding glimmers and taking time to honor your own needs, which is so important and is going to serve her when she gets older because she's going to be like, ⁓ things are stressful, but I can journal or I can color or I can right? ⁓ I'm curious about how that has sort of helped shape your relationship with her. Do you feel like

Melissa Miller (39:46)
All right.

Yeah.

Chelsea Myers (40:06)
Do feel like you guys kind of, I don't want to say like bond over these coping skills, but do you find that you choose self-care as a way to connect?

Melissa Miller (40:18)
well, the coloring is kind a twofold thing. Cause like one of the skills she was struggling with was staying in the lines. You know, that's kind of a skill they were wanting. So getting her to practice. ⁓ that's a good question. I hadn't thought about it that way, but just doing, if nothing else, just doing things with her. ⁓ another way, I guess that we kind of have bonded and do that is like, she loves to play at the park. And so we have several parks around here that are her favorites that we'll take turns going to. ⁓ but.

Chelsea Myers (40:33)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (40:44)
And there's a few that I really love because we make it fair. I let her have some playtime, but then I like to get my steps in. two that so far that we really like that have a huge path with a pond so we can see ducks and things like that. And so, you know, we'll, we'll have the, the rule of like, I'll let her play for X amount of time, but then we'll do one lap around the pond. So I get my steps in.

So, and she'll go on the walk with me. so.

Chelsea Myers (41:09)
Yeah, I love that so much. Sometimes these themes come up when I'm talking with a guest and the overarching theme with you really is that self-care and that balance between caring for others, being a caregiver, while also meeting your own needs. And I think that's a deficit that a lot of parents and mothers are facing.

Melissa Miller (41:27)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think it's been good for my husband too. Like he doesn't necessarily always do the workout home with videos because, know, cause they are at fast pace, but I've encouraged him like, you know, like my trainer, Leslie says on the video, like even if you just walk the whole time to the beat of the music, it's not the steps. There's four steps that she does. and then just as combinations of them. ⁓ but the whole thing is just keeping to this, the tempo of the music that you're walking to. And if you did that for 45 minutes, that's better than just sitting on the couch eating bonbons, right?

Chelsea Myers (42:05)
Yes!

Melissa Miller (42:06)
But he may

and he may not do the workout with me. But one thing he does do is you know, he will sometimes when I'm working out that that's when he's doing his he did some He had some problems with his one of his knees from a fall a few years ago

one thing he's been doing is going back to doing his exercises that he did learn. Like, you know, again, it's like, you know, those different seasons, like you go through one season. It doesn't mean that those, so in this case, the asset of learning all those different.

Exercises are still something he can still do to keep moving. So when I'm doing my workout, he'll go through his exercises. He'll lift some of his weights. So it's something, you know what I mean?

Chelsea Myers (42:46)
Yeah, yeah, I think, I don't know, you are.

Melissa Miller (42:48)
So we're kind of doing it together. I'll be, yeah.

And he'll be kind of doing it to the beat of the music. So it's kind of cute. So I'll be in the living room with my video blaring and he'll be doing his thing. but yeah, so it's good.

Chelsea Myers (43:02)
do. I love that there is such emphasis on caring for yourself while also making space for caring for others. ⁓ Yeah, exactly.

Melissa Miller (43:12)
Mm-hmm. Mind, body, It's

a tripod. You can't have one without the other. There's just no way. There's no way.

Chelsea Myers (43:19)
Yeah,

no, no.

So throughout this whole thing, and I think I may anticipate the answer to this just a little bit, did you have a theme that comes up every season for us is community and the village, the village that we're all promised as parents that doesn't necessarily exist. Did you have a village behind you through these seasons?

Melissa Miller (43:37)
yeah, yeah, yeah.

⁓ the biggest one for 2020 since we were so remote, and still somewhat, ⁓ with my career, obviously it's been the mastermind I've been trained in and my coach, my email marketing coach, my productivity coach and my, ⁓ business coach. So shout out Rebecca, Faith and Anna. I love you. ⁓ and, ⁓ and, and their communities, ⁓ cause a lot of them, especially the mastermind that my business coach Faith runs, a lot of them are moms and they get it. They have, or they're caregivers, ⁓ too.

maybe not in the same capacity I am, maybe it's more like special needs or something like that, but still they get it. They get it. And when we were just going through so much, mean, they just were really behind me they still are. you know, so they're not just friends, they're another family. And then ⁓ our church has been wonderful. Our pastors ⁓ have just, they actually just are ⁓ our senior pastor and his wife who also does our,

who does the zero through, or excuse me, birth through kindergarten department. They've just been such good friends too. They've just been really, really supportive of us through this storm continuing to pray, you know, and just have everything, you know, right from the beginning when Daryl started getting sick. And so it has just been so good to have that in our, to have that because I don't know how we would survive. So, you know, in our church and then now, and now, and we are in season now where

Chelsea Myers (44:55)
Yeah.

Yeah

Melissa Miller (45:13)
we started going to a life group. so the people that we've met in our life group have just been instrumental because they're more our peers. They're people that are our age. And so that's been wonderful. So ⁓ I'd say the support and then our family has always been supportive, you know, just praying for us, but ⁓ my family especially. But yeah, it just, I think it's been kind of, I think the support systems are really kind of kicking in now, which is great. Cause we're not so remote now.

Chelsea Myers (45:39)
Yeah!

Melissa Miller (45:39)
But

yeah, but I'd say there's been a few though that even through that remote phase that have just really been in that dark park, and I'm so grateful for that because again, it had to be kind of out of it had to be kind of non-traditional, right? What we were going through the time that we were in anyway, so ⁓ So thank goodness. Thank goodness

Chelsea Myers (45:57)
Yeah, I so I think what resonates most throughout hearing you talk about all of these seasons in your life is that, yes, things can be really, really, really challenging. And with the right tools and with the right support, you can hold space for the grief and you can hold space for the for those moments where you're like, why is this happening? Like, what else is going to happen? What did I do? But you can also

Melissa Miller (46:22)
Yeah, yeah.

Chelsea Myers (46:27)
take actionable steps to prioritize yourself so that you can be your best self for your daughter, for you, for your husband, for your family. ⁓ And that's such a good reminder. It's not easy. It's not easy to remember. It's not easy. You can always find an excuse to be like, I don't have time for this or don't have the energy for this, but it can be things.

as simple as journaling. could be something as simple as praying. It can be something as inclusive with your children as coloring. So I love and I can feel the joy when you're talking about it. whereas, yes, life has handed you a deck that was not what you anticipated and certainly not what anyone like

deserves to go through, like one challenge after another after another, you acknowledge that and you still seek the glimmers in life, which I admire. I admire that.

Melissa Miller (47:30)
Yeah.

Yeah, thank you. It's and it's not easy. I like what you said about the grief coming with the joy and peace. And it's so interesting in the devotional I'm actually going through right now is like, on one of the days, the lesson focused on about how peace isn't passive. It's, it's actionary, it's proactive. And so

Chelsea Myers (47:47)
Hmm

Melissa Miller (47:50)
Finding peace sometimes might mean getting out of your comfort zone. Finding peace might take action. so ⁓ finding peace for me definitely is being proactive with spending time every day with the Lord, doing my devotional journaling and prayer time and listening to music. ⁓ Being proactive means ⁓ investing in my health and now, you know, doing that, putting in the time for those 45 minute workouts, five, six days a week, doing my hinge ⁓ regimes at least five days a week.

Drinking a lot of water, hence the reusable water bottle. Being proactive with finding peace might be just plotting my own way and figuring out, with what's in my gut and heart of doing an unconventional career. figuring that out. Finding peace might mean just surrendering the timeline. I don't know how long it's going to take, but whatever it takes is how long ever it's going to take.

Chelsea Myers (48:22)
Yes, we've got our water bottles, yes.

Melissa Miller (48:48)
Finding peace might mean seeking the support of having conversations ⁓ with people ⁓ that you trust. I've personally done that. I actually did have a sit down with two, we have two female pastors on our staff at our church. We go to a pretty big church,

And I just value them. They're a lot older and their moms. One of them is a grandmother now because her children are grown, but then the other one, she has two still at home and two that are grown. And so she can really speak to that season. so ⁓ having women of faith, strong women of faith, especially since I'm in a season too where both my parents are gone, I'm only 40 and both my parents are gone. So looking for other. ⁓

Chelsea Myers (49:16)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (49:30)
looking for other resources of support from people that you trust, be it people in your family or people outside your family or outside of your or within your congregation of faith, whether you're Jewish, Christian, Hindu, I don't care, is important too, because you need that. Because again, it goes back to that tripod of mind, body, soul. You need all three to make it work. And just because you're in a season where you're struggling to find that piece, it doesn't mean

that's going to be easy. It doesn't mean that's going to come on a, you know, ⁓ I like the analogy that the devotional writers I'm going through talked about. said, ⁓ finding peace doesn't mean that you're just going to sit on the couch and just wait for the skies to open and for it to hit. It doesn't work that way. It really doesn't. I mean, I know we read about stories about that in the Bible where the Lord did speak to people in very profound ways like Jacob's Ladder and things like that. But that doesn't mean that's always going to, ⁓ that it's always going to be that kind of a

Chelsea Myers (50:12)
No... No...

Melissa Miller (50:28)
interaction that might just be like just a little nudge of like someone saying, Hey, you're struggling with this. I have a contact. have someone that would, I have an idea for you, or I have, ⁓ contact that would be someone I think that could help you with this. I'm, if I'm not, it's not my field of expertise, but I know somebody that can, it might be just taking the chance of like, ⁓ like with, ⁓ the hinge app, was, I was already doing, I already do my cardio with, with Leslie, but, ⁓

Chelsea Myers (50:52)
Yeah.

Melissa Miller (50:56)
But the fact I could get like the benefit, it's no cost. like what, because of the insurance I have, was, it's a perk of no cost. I get a health coach, I get a physical therapist and they have stuff designed for pelvic floor repair. And I'm like, that is, that is something that I have not addressed postpartum. So take advantage. So taking advantage of those resources when you have them is by far not a bad thing.

Chelsea Myers (50:59)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely. It's better to use what's available to you and to even seek out things that are available to you that you may not realize. yeah, just, really, I've enjoyed...

Melissa Miller (51:32)
Mm-hmm.

Chelsea Myers (51:36)
being able to hear your story, hear your perspective, because it really is packed with useful tools and resources that could work for anyone. You don't have to be a person of faith. You don't have to be a person who like, you don't have to love coloring. You don't have to love mu... Like they're honestly everything you're doing. There's something for everybody. Yes. ⁓

Melissa Miller (51:56)
No.

Right? even,

mean, I hope the ideas that I shared just maybe even spark your own ideas. I a list, but if that item that sparks you is not on my list, I don't care, go for it. Just do something. It's better to do something than nothing at all. there's no, know, when we're handed that life deck, like you were talking about, there's no right or wrong way. Okay. You know, what works for me is not going to work for Chelsea and what works for Chelsea is not going to work for

Chelsea Myers (52:08)
Yeah!

Yeah, do something for you.

Melissa Miller (52:29)
any number of people who are listening to this episode when it drops. ⁓ I hope whoever is listening is just walking away with the the incurrent print of find out what works for you. And it's okay if you try things and they totally flop, whether that's with career, whether that's with hobbies, whether that's with workouts. One thing I will say about my workout system is like I am 40 y'all and I finally have been consistent for like the last two to three years with consistent exercise

Chelsea Myers (52:31)
Yeah

Melissa Miller (52:56)
And I would never have thought I could do that. But, and I'm getting ready to do walk a marathon with my brother next month. Again, we did one last year, but I'm really excited now to see how I do with this one. So, you know, it's never too late to start. It's never too late to start. And it's okay if you try something, something, and it doesn't work. And just because you've failed in the past or,

Chelsea Myers (52:56)
Yeah.

Mm-mm.

Melissa Miller (53:18)
Maybe, maybe not fail, but maybe you tried something and it flopped. It doesn't mean that you're not going to find. And that doesn't mean that if it doesn't work now, that what works, that, that, that what doesn't work now won't work in the future. It might take a few years. It took me 30 some years to figure out what works for me for devotional time and exercise time, but I'm still here and I've still stuck with it. And that's the important thing to keep going.

Chelsea Myers (53:33)
you

Yeah.

Before I wrap us up, because you've done an amazing job addressing our listeners, if they want to follow along your journey or to just kind of see what you are up to, what's the best way to find you?

Melissa Miller (53:58)
⁓ I'd say the best way for right now would be to hit my website. It's ⁓ www.caregivingentrepreneurshipreimagined.com. That's my business website. If they specifically want to talk about coming up with a plan for self-care, because that is a bracket of what I teach with my caregiver manual framework, which is... ⁓

Chelsea Myers (54:08)
Okay.

Melissa Miller (54:20)
⁓ You know observing documentation reporting Preparation and then the last one is self-care. I do offer free caregiver clarity calls for 30 minutes We're basically just sit down over Google meet and I just help you come up with a plan for tackling your wellness journey And so that's that's something I could offer for free that will get your foot in the door And also subscribe to my newsletter. It's a bit sporadic right now because I'm kind of had my hands and

Chelsea Myers (54:28)
lol

I love that.

Melissa Miller (54:50)
Other things, cause like I said, I'm kind of trying to do some other junkets for a generating income a little faster in other ways ⁓ that I, that I feel are important, but I have other stuff coming. So definitely do that. Or if you want, you can always email me if you want to just high ticket that hijack at that. Just shoot me an email at my business email at Melissa Miller at TYRO super mom.com T Y R O S T U P E R M O M.com.

And just mention that you ⁓ are a listener from Chelsea's podcast ⁓ and that you wanted to follow up and that you wanted to that you want to chat and I can create a link for us and we can have a Google chat that way too. So that'd be another option. So.

Chelsea Myers (55:34)
that so much. Those will be linked in your show notes so listeners can easily toggle to the show notes and find those. I have been switching up how I end my episodes and I'm loving the results I'm getting. So you've done an amazing job of addressing the listeners as a group and

giving some really, really great tips and tricks of what might work for them or what could work for you. And I'm going to ask that you narrow down your scope. And obviously you have no idea who this person is going to be. my next guest, whoever my next guest is, you don't know what they're going through. You don't know what season of parenthood they're going through.

Melissa Miller (56:20)
Hmm.

Hmm.

Chelsea Myers (56:22)
But I want you to leave them a message. Leave a message from Melissa to the mom who comes next. What would your message be?

Melissa Miller (56:33)
Okay, well, hey there, mama. ⁓ I'm Melissa Miller. I haven't met you, but I wanted to just leave this little message for you of encouragement. ⁓ I don't know what you're facing, but I just hope that you know that someone else sees you because I know as being a mom or a caregiver or any other role that you could tack on, that sometimes it feels like you are invisible, that you're pouring out your heart and soul for everybody else, but you're kind of feeling.

Like no one sees me, like does anyone not see that I'm struggling or that I need help or that I'm trying my hardest to do my utmost due diligence to meet the needs of my children, to meet the needs of my spouse or partner, to meet the needs of my clients or whatever I have going on or to even meet the needs of myself. I just want you to know that you're doing a good job and that you are not alone in this journey and that

there's people out there that are willing to help you. Even if it is virtually, sometimes I know from me that sometimes, especially the I'd say within the last five years, it's been remote connections via a telehealth appointment or a DM on social media or an email or a phone call or a video chat has been the way to keep me connected to people that I trust. And I have that connection of feeling seen and heard. And I encourage you.

I encourage you to not be afraid to leverage technology to help you stay sane because sometimes we're in seasons where we do need to be home with our children, whether they're sick or we're sick, or maybe there's just some other sort of trauma or complicated situation that we're going through that it just is not a good idea to go out in the public or we just don't have the bandwidth to deal with a lot of people like a crowded room or something like that. So wherever you fall on that spectrum, you're seen, you're heard, you're doing a beautiful job.

You're doing the best you can. And that's all that God or anybody can ask of you. And I just hope that you know that, ⁓ that you, that you were seen and that you matter. And so this is just me giving you a little virtual hug. And I don't know, maybe we'll meet if our paths cross, I would love to meet you. If not, just know that somebody took a moment to say hello and that I care and that I'm acknowledging you.

Chelsea Myers (58:57)
That is beautiful. And I love this. love this. And I'm going to keep doing it because these messages are messages that every parent needs to hear. thank you for sharing that with my next guest. Thank you for sharing your story with me and all the things that bring you joy and bring you comfort. It has been an absolute joy getting to know you a little bit today. So thank you.

Melissa Miller (59:22)
I love this. This is my favorite thing. ⁓ It's what I love to do on my podcast. There's something about just, I'll leave it with this. There's something about just intentional conversation. And I hope that whatever I've shared has felt like an intentional conversation where we've just sat with either a bottle of water or your favorite beverage.

And you're just chatting with one of your girlfriends and just being able to say, Hey, and say, what's up, what's going on? How can I support you? And, you know, or if nothing else, you're, you're in a safe place where you feel like you can just unpack it all, whether it's crying, tears, journaling, ⁓ whatever you're facing. So that's all this is. It's just a coffee chat with some friends.

Chelsea Myers (1:00:01)
I'm so grateful to Melissa for sharing her story with us. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing takes time, that caregiving truly matters, and that peace is something we choose and practice every day. If her story resonated with you, please share this episode with someone who might need to hear it. And as always, you can find resources and more conversations like this at our website, quietconnectionpodcast.com or on social media.

at Quiet Connection Podcast or Quiet Connection Pod. If you'd like to share your journey, my inbox is open at quietconnectionppmh at gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Join us next time when another story is told and you realize you are not alone. I see you.