Dissociation, Postpartum Depression, and Somatic Healing: Naomi’s Story

What happens when the "blackness" you feel inside finally starts to speak? 

In this deeply moving episode of Quiet Connection, Chelsea connects with Naomi Morad, a mother of four and a trauma transformation specialist. Naomi shares her harrowing yet hopeful journey from growing up in a home defined by abuse, secrets, and a human trafficking ring, to becoming a "worldly" traveler who eventually found herself face-to-face with severe postpartum depression.

Naomi opens up about the years she spent in a state of "functional dissociation," unaware of the extent of her childhood trauma until the birth of her second daughter triggered a deep, eight-month-long postpartum crisis. This episode is a roadmap for any parent who feels like they are carrying "empty shelves" and is ready to start restocking them with light, awareness, and peace.

Connect with Naomi:

• Website: NaomiMorad.com
• Offer: Free initial consultation to explore fit and healing goals. 

Key Takeaways

• Dissociation as Survival: Trauma can be so stored in the body that we remain "functionally" dissociated for decades until a major life event—like childbirth—triggers the memory.
• The Body Keeps the Score: Healing often requires more than talk therapy; somatic (body-based) work can help awaken and release trauma stored in the nervous system and cells.
• Children as Mirrors: A child’s behavior is often a reflection of the parent’s internal state and nervous system regulation.
• The Power of the "Gap": Taking time to heal between children can fundamentally change the parenting experience and the "version" of the mother the children receive.
• Ending the Culture of Secrets: Transparency and openness with children (at age-appropriate levels) are vital to breaking cycles of abuse and trauma. 

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Visit our Patreon to help support our mission to normalize the conversation and end the stigma surrounding PMADs!

Transcript

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Chelsea Myers (00:01)
But today I am here with Naomi. Naomi, how are you?

Naomi Morad (00:05)
I am very good and very happy to be here with you, Chelsea. Thank you.

Chelsea Myers (00:09)
I'm so happy to have you here with me. For people who are not watching and who are listening, Naomi's got this gorgeous background right now. I'm stuck here in frigid Vermont and I'm looking and I'm like, I wanna be wherever that is. That looks so cozy.

Naomi Morad (00:27)
It's actually freezing today.

Chelsea Myers (00:31)
Okay, well maybe not, but...

Naomi Morad (00:32)
But

it's always green in Georgia.

Chelsea Myers (00:36)
Yes, oh my goodness. Well,

it just, I had to mention it because I just, keep looking out your window like, oh, it looks so peaceful. Anyway, that was a, that was a sidetrack moment. Naomi, I would love it if you could introduce yourself to my listeners and also let us know who you were before starting your parenting journey.

Naomi Morad (00:42)
I know.

What was before so okay start with them. I'm Naomi Marad a mother of four my oldest is 29 and my youngest is 20 For for work I help people heal and transform past trauma I help people work through depression and anxiety and

obsessive thoughts and behaviors, I work with a lot of people with sexual trauma, ⁓ any kind of abuse that someone's been through and the effects of it today. Or we can go back and see why is a person depressed today and usually it relates to early childhood trauma and the pain that we carry into our lives today from unprocessed trauma. And I help people heal the root core of

of that trauma and then when we do that there's like very quick shifts and transformation taking place and people heal very fast and start to feel more regulated in their daily lives. ⁓ that in a nutshell is what I do. That's what I'm doing today.

Chelsea Myers (02:05)
That's what you're doing today. Yeah. How

about prior to parenting?

Naomi Morad (02:13)
Prior to parenting... ⁓

I studied at NYU and I got married when I was 21. I was born and raised in Germany and then moved to New York and then moved to Israel and then I had children. So that's prior to parenting.

Chelsea Myers (02:37)
Yeah, you were all over the place. You were very worldly. ⁓ my gosh. So yeah, you experienced the world.

Naomi Morad (02:39)
And I lived in Italy as well, prior to parenting.

I experienced the world. Yeah, I experienced a few years of marriage without children, which was also awesome. I'm still married to the same man.

Chelsea Myers (02:51)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (03:04)
I was suffering from lot of depression.

Chelsea Myers (03:07)
you have a history with mental health, which is important to note. Yeah. Yeah.

Naomi Morad (03:09)
Yes. Yes.

Chelsea Myers (03:14)
did you always envision yourself becoming a parent?

Naomi Morad (03:18)
Yes, I always wanted to have four children.

Chelsea Myers (03:22)
Okay.

Naomi Morad (03:23)
because it took me some time to understand that, to put two and two together. But growing up, I come from a family where we're four siblings, but there was a lot of trauma in our home.

Chelsea Myers (03:34)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (03:38)
lot of abuse and we were taught to keep secrets and nobody was allowed to share anything with anyone. Therefore, you can imagine I have a very complex relationship with my siblings and we were never close and I really wanted, I had the vision of my kids loving each other.

Chelsea Myers (03:54)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (04:06)
caring for each other.

to be one unit, fully be able to trust each other. That was like, that was my mission. And it worked out pretty well.

Chelsea Myers (04:17)
Yeah, yeah. I

know I was gonna say you have four children and yeah, and you're doing this work and you're doing this, I mean professionally, and it also sounds like something that was really important to you was cycle breaking in terms of your own family.

Naomi Morad (04:36)
Yes, yes, and I was completely dissociated until I had my second child. I had no conscious awareness of what I went through as a child. I was just very depressed.

Chelsea Myers (04:48)
Okay.

Naomi Morad (04:57)
And at some point after I was already happily married, had two children, had a wonderful husband, still have my wonderful husband. I had no objective reason to be depressed all the time, but I just was like manic depression. I was either on a high or a low. I was very exhausting. And after...

The second birth I went into postpartum depression for eight months. I could barely lift my head. And that's when I decided, okay, I got to figure this out. Like, I can't do this anymore. had difficulty being a mother, had difficulty functioning. Like I did what I needed to do, but it was very like functional. Like I was completely detached emotionally.

Chelsea Myers (05:46)
Right.

Naomi Morad (05:49)
And that's when my personal healing journey began. And I started coping with my depression and I started learning about what gets me depressed, what my triggers are. I suddenly learned that I have a lot of anger stored inside of me that I was never aware of and that every time I get angry, could have been something as simple as someone cutting the line in front of me at the post office. ⁓

I had to like go home and say, okay, why am I depressed now? Like to backtrack and really learn what's happening to me, what's happening around me, like really start to become aware of what's going on inside of me and around me. And that was like my first big step towards healing. And from then I started having memories of my childhood, of...

sexual abuse for 20 years. ⁓

So it was quite severe because my father also ran a trafficking ring. So I went through a very colorful childhood, but not pretty colors. And yeah.

Chelsea Myers (06:57)
Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and you mentioned, so there's a few things I'm curious about. You mentioned that you had kind of dissociated up until this point. So going into deciding to start a family, at that point, were you even aware of the extent of your, you were not aware of the extent of your abuse?

Naomi Morad (07:09)
Yeah.

I was not aware at all. I can't tell you, I knew that I had a lot of trauma from my family because my family was just a horrible family to begin with. But I had no recollection of the sexual trauma, the abuse and everything that came with it and the violence.

Chelsea Myers (07:36)
Yeah.

Okay.

Naomi Morad (07:48)
I just knew something had gone awfully wrong in my life. And I walked around with that feeling and physically I felt like everything in my body was black. Every time I looked inside, I felt like everything was dark and black. And I had like a, I remember now I had like this image of like empty shelves, like my shelves, my resources were robbed empty.

Chelsea Myers (07:58)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Naomi Morad (08:17)
And there was

nothing, like I had no more energy.

Chelsea Myers (08:22)
Yeah, that makes so much sense. And the reason that I ask it too is because when you made that decision to start your family, I'm curious what, obviously you knew that your family dynamic was not normal, the family that you were brought up in.

How did that impact your vision of yourself as a mother? you entered your first pregnancy and as you entered your first postpartum phase, how did that play out?

Naomi Morad (08:57)
good question. I was terrified. I was so terrified of becoming a mother that I was going to fail as a mother that I was going to be a mother like my mother was that although I knew that I am not that person. And yet I was I was terrified that I was gonna

Chelsea Myers (09:00)
Mm.

Naomi Morad (09:19)
do badly with this. Like, I was really worried of not being a good enough mother. That was my fear. And then, like I have to say, even though, and I really think that I'm very lucky that I have that, even though I suffered from this manic depression, ⁓

Chelsea Myers (09:21)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (09:40)
There was also always that part of me that knew that I can. That I knew that there's also this light that I carried, even though, you know, there was so much mud on it and everything, but I still, I still had a lot of love in me. And when my daughter was born, the first one I remember was, it was like magic for me. It was like a miracle.

Chelsea Myers (09:45)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (10:06)
I was like... Yeah, it was like a miracle.

Chelsea Myers (10:11)
it sounds like that fear and that worry, which you had layers and layers and layers that went with that. But, fear and anxiety of being enough as a mother is a really common thread that a lot of moms that I speak to share.

But it sounds like when you had your daughter, it did not affect your ability to connect with her.

Naomi Morad (10:40)
It didn't. And with that, I can say that because I feel like every birth, ⁓ like opens another door inside of us. And with that, I think I got my first peek into. I was terrified from the second that she was born that she was going to be sexually abused. Terrified.

Chelsea Myers (10:52)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (11:06)
And I had no idea where that thought came from. But it was already the first opening to remembering, even though I didn't understand it at the time.

Chelsea Myers (11:09)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Was that a pretty constant worry? Was that something that just kind of stuck around?

Naomi Morad (11:21)
Yes.

very very much.

Chelsea Myers (11:25)
Did you talk to anybody about it at the time?

Naomi Morad (11:29)
I spoke to my husband after a few months and I shared my worry with him. I think he was very surprised. But it was so strong I had to speak about it and I had to share my worry and had to make sure that my daughter was safe even from her own father because to me my father was the unsafest person on the planet.

Chelsea Myers (11:31)
Okay.

Naomi Morad (11:52)
So I just had to make sure that my daughter is safe and that I make sure that I let the world, which was my husband at the time, know that you have to keep my daughter safe.

Chelsea Myers (12:04)
Yeah,

you had this, you couldn't quite explain it at the time, but you had this instinct and this innate need to keep her safe from a trauma that you hadn't even fully wrapped your own head around yet. Yeah. And then you said when you had your second, which was your son, correct?

Naomi Morad (12:20)
Yeah.

So ⁓

my first two are daughters.

Chelsea Myers (12:29)
⁓ okay, so your first two are daughters. So was it when you had your second or was it later on that you...

Naomi Morad (12:35)
After I had my second,

I fell into like, wasn't manic depression anymore, it was just depression. There was no breath, no nothing. Yeah, yeah,

Chelsea Myers (12:44)
Yeah.

Okay.

you attribute that to postpartum depression. You think that was postpartum depression. Yeah. Well, and I'm curious too. The only reason I ask is I'm curious if you think resurfacing trauma may be played into that as well or amplified it. Yeah. Can you talk to me about that a little bit?

Naomi Morad (12:58)
Yeah.

Absolutely.

You know, a lot of people look at depression and they say it's hormonal and it's something in my brain and that's why I'm taking medication

Chelsea Myers (13:21)
Hmm.

Naomi Morad (13:26)
And I look at it very differently. I think because of trauma, we have depression and something triggers it and like throws you over the curve. And that creates a chemical reaction in your brain. So, you know, when you ask, where's the chicken, where's the egg? I think the problem is the trauma.

Chelsea Myers (13:42)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (13:51)
that causes the depression, depression creates a chemical reaction. But when we heal the trauma, that chemical reaction begins to regulate itself. It's amazing.

Chelsea Myers (14:07)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (14:09)
Again, I think every birth, like I said, is like a big, I mean, it is the birth in itself. As beautiful as it is, it's also traumatic.

Chelsea Myers (14:19)
Yes.

Naomi Morad (14:20)
experience for the body. mean it's crazy what our bodies go through

I look at it, it's like an explosion inside of us, a new opening. And because it's so forceful and so big, it brings up a lot of things that were dormant, like with my first daughter. Suddenly, you know, I had all these fears and worries for her that weren't there before. And I think every birth brings something else and makes us cope with other things that we might not have been aware of.

So the birth can be a trigger. And I think the birth for me was a trigger for sure.

Chelsea Myers (14:57)
Okay, yeah. So that was that was gonna be my next question. If you if it was her birth in and of itself, or the process of like going through the fourth trimester, which is exhausting and depleting in and of itself. But it sounds like it sounds like you think the birth maybe opened the door. And then those days and weeks following

Naomi Morad (15:20)
I think it's a combination of things. Also maybe a combination of things that I experienced during the pregnancy.

Chelsea Myers (15:23)
Okay.

Naomi Morad (15:29)
I can't really say it's... I wouldn't say it's the last trimester. ⁓

I think it was just, you I'm thinking about like what comes up for me as we're talking is I think motherhood in itself and the responsibility that fell on me having to protect another life and I had to make sure that nothing happens to her.

Chelsea Myers (15:53)
Mm.

Did you have those same fears that you had with your first daughter?

Naomi Morad (16:01)
course.

Chelsea Myers (16:02)
Yeah. Yeah.

Naomi Morad (16:04)
Big time.

Chelsea Myers (16:05)
When did the shift happen when you started to realize, wait a second, I think this is coming from something that happened to me.

Naomi Morad (16:16)
It took time for me to make that connection. So first, like I said, eight months later, I decided I need help. went to psychosomatic practitioners, someone who specialized in, it's called the Greenberg method. became practitioner later myself.

So it's through the body, through body work. It's like, think of it like getting a massage, but it's not a massage, but it's techniques of how we work with the body to awaken trauma in the body that's dormant. Because everything that happens to us happens inside our bodies as well as stored in our nervous system and our cells.

Chelsea Myers (16:50)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (16:56)
and our breath and everything. It's not necessarily stored in our cortex and our thinking mind where we usually look for trauma and process And through that work, that's where I learned about my depression. I learned what I feel in my body, what happens, how it kicks in. Like I started to really grow my awareness and it really helped me shift my depression. Every time I

managed to understand what the trigger was it was amazing it's like within the second the depression was gone like like you take off that lens and it's gone was the person that cut the line in front of me at the post office i got angry ⁓ i get it okay calm it was literally like that and the more my awareness grew the less i suffered from depression

Chelsea Myers (17:32)
Wow.

Hmm?

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (17:50)
It was

like I found my own magic wand to undo that depression. And even later on in life when I still would get depressed, which happened less and less and less throughout the years.

Every time if I would backtrack and think, okay, what happened? Where was I before? And when did it start exactly? The second I got it gone. And it's like that, by the way, with everything, sore throat, pain or whatever. Like for me, that works like magic when I manage to make that connection, because there's always a trigger to everything that we feel. It's already been there. Like

Chelsea Myers (18:13)
Mm.

Yeah.

Naomi Morad (18:32)
that depression was there before I gave birth. There's something that triggers it, something that brings it to the surface. Same with anxiety and everything else.

Chelsea Myers (18:35)
Right.

what it's sounding like to me is that through this work that you were doing, you developed a very intimate relationship with your body and connectedness with your body. And that really allowed you to explore your trauma.

in a different way and through a different lens. And like you said, it's kind of you like found your magic wand, something that worked for you. It took time. And yes, and and that's my favorite phrase. Yes, and please, I want to hear it.

Naomi Morad (19:16)
want to say yes and

That brings me back to what I forgot, to how to finish what you asked me before. So once I dealt with my depression and that wasn't an issue anymore in my life and that took about maybe a year and I was done with that part then

Chelsea Myers (19:35)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (19:39)
You know how we always work through layers? So the next thing shows up. Okay. think, Oh, I finally figured this out. I resolved this. then next morning you wake up and you're like, Oh shit. Okay. What's next? I thought I was good for a while. So the next thing that

Chelsea Myers (19:50)
You

I thought I was gonna have a break.

Naomi Morad (19:59)
that happened was the memories of my past began to surface and coping with that that brought up that took every ounce of energy I had to heal from that like it's it was hard work

Chelsea Myers (20:10)
Yeah.

I can't even begin to imagine. And I know working through trauma in and of itself is a full body exercise.

Naomi Morad (20:27)
It takes a lot and I wish I would have known everything I know today because I just kept studying and studying and studying and studying. like studied for, I started in 2000 with that body mind therapy that I, it's called the Greenberg method. And after three years, I completed my training and got certified and

Chelsea Myers (20:44)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (20:53)
I said, okay, I'm very good with awakening trauma, but I'm missing tools of how to help people, how to support them when the trauma shows up. So I kept studying for years and years and years until I felt like I had enough tools to support.

guess also myself and anybody else who might come into my office doesn't matter what how severe their issues that I have enough tools to help them work through that.

Chelsea Myers (21:14)
Yeah.

Yeah. So you're doing this work. You're doing this research. You're also navigating, working through your own trauma. How

And when are you making the decision at that point to continue? Because you have your four children, you had your two children at the time. How did that impact your decision to continue having more children and your view of yourself as a mother through this?

Naomi Morad (21:53)
You know, I think when we understand and process the fears and the worries that run our subconscious and when we learn how to cope with that, then everything is possible. So my desire to have four children never changed, but I was able to show up very differently as a mother.

Chelsea Myers (22:08)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (22:18)
Especially once I had my third, which I waited six years between the second and the third because I needed time to heal.

I was a different person already at that time. I had healed enough in order to be able to feel so much more comfortable. Also third child, I hear that from lot of mothers, you're not worried about the things you're worried about with the first and the second and it's like you're so much more relaxed. It's so much easier. It's like a...

Chelsea Myers (22:28)
Yeah.

You

Naomi Morad (22:47)
sort of like a breeze and that made me, I always feel that, a much better mother to my first and my second, having the third. And then within a year and two months I had my fourth.

Chelsea Myers (22:56)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Naomi Morad (23:03)
And then I was like, I'm

Chelsea Myers (23:06)
I'm I

have my four. I'm done.

Naomi Morad (23:11)
It was really like that. I have my four and I remember driving home from the hospital sitting in the backseat with my newborn fourth baby.

felt like I'm the richest person in the world having four children.

Chelsea Myers (23:28)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (23:29)
That was just a feeling I I like I was complete.

Chelsea Myers (23:32)
Well,

Well, and it speaks to, like you said, there was a gap in between. You had a six year gap between your second and your third. And during that time, you did a lot of work on your own trauma and healing your own trauma. So you kind of came at this, I want to say like second round of parenting as ⁓ a different person.

Naomi Morad (24:00)
For sure. For sure. My boys got a different mother than my girls. Like the little ones are boys. 100%.

Chelsea Myers (24:01)
Yeah, so to...

Yeah.

Yeah.

to hear you say like driving home with your youngest feeling like the richest person in the world. What a contrast to having your first and your second and the empty bookshelves in your chest and the the fear and the need to protect them from this from this threat that you didn't even fully understand. And to note as well like

Like you said early on in your first round of parenting, I don't know why I'm calling them rounds now, spoke to your husband, you spoke to your husband about your feelings, but it doesn't sound like, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like beyond that, there was much of a village that you, or maybe there was, that you could kind of lean into. No, no, no.

Naomi Morad (24:58)
No.

No, no. And then, yeah, no.

Chelsea Myers (25:04)
Do you feel like it was different when you had your boys?

Naomi Morad (25:07)
Yes, but I was different. I was in very different place.

Chelsea Myers (25:10)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (25:17)
And I don't know why I feel it's important to say that, because I said like every birth is like a huge opening. It's like it's a big shift.

So the first and second I had an epidural. Second one I endured much longer. I was able to wait until I had like a seven centimeter opening with the first. I couldn't wait to get my epidural. Although I wanted a natural birth from the start and I was like, okay, this is not gonna work. The third I managed to make it without the epidural, but it was suffering. With my fourth,

Chelsea Myers (25:57)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (25:59)
It was the most peaceful birth I had. And I felt like it was like it was the birth that I wanted from the start. It was like ⁓ completing that circle.

Chelsea Myers (26:09)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (26:16)
I was just a different person already at that point. I didn't... I was able to cope with the world differently. I wasn't overwhelmed like I was at first, you know, the first years of my first round, as you say, of it. It was a completely different experience. And that reflected itself in the people around me and the way I lived my life and the way I... who I was as a parent.

Chelsea Myers (26:20)
Yeah.

Hahaha

Naomi Morad (26:44)
I was very very calm and very... I don't know, I just loved... I always loved being a parent, I have to say. Like, I think being a mother has been one of the most rewarding and nurturing things of my life.

Chelsea Myers (26:45)
and that was

Yeah.

I get that sense when I hear you speaking about it. And you did right at the end there, you kind of like the curiosity that I had, you kind of answered it for me. Like you said, you were a very different person. And when you had your daughters,

I'm assuming, and like you said, you did not have that village around you. And when you are in a place where your mental health is affected and all of this, you're kind of, I won't even say you, a lot of people experience a sense of isolation. And sometimes it's, you just don't feel the community around you or there may not be a community around you that you have.

Naomi Morad (27:43)
I

did have, I remember I did have some very close, two girlfriends that were very close to me at the time. And actually it was one of the two who said to me, listen, my husband just saw the psychosomatic practitioner who works with this Greenberg method and my husband says it's really great. And I took a few sessions with him and maybe should go and see him. So it was because of my village.

Chelsea Myers (28:06)
Mmm.

Okay,

Naomi Morad (28:10)
Even though was small and I was never the kind

Chelsea Myers (28:10)
okay. Yeah.

Naomi Morad (28:12)
of person who had like a zillion friends, but I always had like a few close friends. It was because of her that I found that person. So yeah.

Chelsea Myers (28:21)
Yeah, okay.

So yeah,

mean, a village is a village. A village is a village. And I always say that we're promised a village, but no one told us we had to build it ourselves. A lot of us kind of just think it comes with the territory, but actually we have to build it ourselves. But when I heard you say, ⁓ with your second two, with your boys, you were just a completely different person, I'm wondering if that meant, and you were just so calm.

Like if that meant that you were in a place in your life where you were able to receive, where you were able to kind of just take that deep breath and recognize like, I am okay, my kids are okay, we're gonna be okay.

Naomi Morad (29:07)
Yes, and also by then, before I had my third, I had really done a lot of work with my past. I had confronted my family, had confronted my father, my siblings, my mother, like all of them, all at once. I did,

Chelsea Myers (29:27)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (29:29)
what was like so deeply unconscious for me, like it was sitting so deeply in my unconscious, that severe dissociation. You have to understand, like the way I look at it, trauma takes up a lot of space. It takes up a lot of energy, a lot of space, and we don't know why we feel the way we feel. It's like we just feel down or depressed or anxious or...

Chelsea Myers (29:46)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (29:58)
in whichever way that may express itself, obsessive thought patterns, ⁓ eating disorders, it doesn't matter. Like it has some kind of expression and that becomes our world. But behind or underneath that what seems to be our world is are those younger parts that are carrying a lot of pain.

and they are in this bubble that we find ourselves in and we're we're so sucked into that bubble that we can't see anything else.

Chelsea Myers (30:22)
Mm.

Naomi Morad (30:33)
We can't see our children really. We can't see the people around us. We can't really hear what people are saying. Like everything is through that bubble.

Chelsea Myers (30:42)
almost like muted.

Naomi Morad (30:44)
Yes, our senses are muted, our feelings and emotions are muted. There's so much extra noise. But as we heal those younger parts, it's like that bubble begins to dissolve. And we have more space to breathe and we have more space to show up as as who we are. We have more.

Chelsea Myers (30:45)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (31:08)
We have the ability to let our colors shine instead of that bubble shutting us out from the world.

Chelsea Myers (31:15)
Yeah, I love that analogy. I love that visual. ⁓ And you did a lot of that work. You did, I've got it in my notes, but you did parts work. You did inner child healing, which is something that I'm exploring. ⁓ You did brain spotting, which again, these are things that you now do. ⁓

Naomi Morad (31:25)
you

Chelsea Myers (31:40)
And if this is, if I missed this, I apologize. Were you doing psychosomatic work prior to all of this, or is this something that led you to this path?

Naomi Morad (31:54)
I started studying and I did a lot more than this. is just what you mentioned are the techniques that I found most helpful and that I primarily work with today. ⁓ But I have like this list of things that I felt that I needed to learn and learn and learn and learn and learn in order to heal.

Chelsea Myers (32:09)
Right.

Naomi Morad (32:20)
I started studying in the year 2000 and actually I think my memory started to surface in 2001.

Chelsea Myers (32:31)
Okay.

Naomi Morad (32:31)
So, but around that time I was already coping with my depression. I saw how helpful that is and I knew that even though I studied communications at NYU, I realized I'm not interested in that. I wanna...

Chelsea Myers (32:46)
Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (32:47)
I want to help people but I didn't know how. I knew that it wasn't going to be the traditional path of being a psychotherapist. That didn't interest me at all. I was very connected to, like I described at first, that darkness that I felt inside my body. I knew that there had to be something that connects me to this, to my body.

Chelsea Myers (32:56)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Morad (33:15)
I needed that somatic work in combination with the talk and with the processing of everything. And that's what I was looking for throughout all these years. So everything I did was a connection of body, mind, and soul.

Chelsea Myers (33:33)
Yeah. And like your journey through your own self discovery and through your own parts kind of led you to where you are today, which sounds simple when I say it that way. But it's, it is it's a process and it's you did a tremendous amount of work, not only on yourself, but but to then take that and be like, Okay, I want to use this to help others as well.

And because we are a parenting podcast, It's just very interesting to me how...

your journey into motherhood, something that you always wanted, something that you always envisioned for yourself, opened these doors. And so they sort of coincided, right? Your journey through motherhood coincided with your journey to healing little you and healing parts of you that you didn't even know needed healing.

Naomi Morad (34:32)
You know Chelsea, I've never thought of it that way, but you're absolutely right.

Chelsea Myers (34:37)
I mean, that was just, I took that away from hearing you. So if it didn't resonate, you could totally tell me and be like, no, not at all.

Naomi Morad (34:42)
you

It's so true and I think being a mother...

And that I was aware of. Being a mother gave me the strength.

push through because I think if I wouldn't have been a mother, I'm sure actually, either I would have not remembered or I probably wouldn't be here anymore.

Chelsea Myers (35:07)
That's a really powerful statement. Yeah.

what does that feel like?

Naomi Morad (35:12)
sad.

think the thought that comes up is like sad that I needed to be a mother in order to push through. And on the other hand, I always felt like the kids are the biggest gift of my life.

Chelsea Myers (35:28)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (35:29)
they taught me so much and without my kids I mean when my yeah when my oldest was two years old

I suddenly understood that it's like she's like my mirror. When I'm in a bad mood, she's going to be pissy and she's not going to be nice. And I can get angry at her or I can say, ⁓ she's my mirror. And when I'm nice to her and when I'm kind and when I'm patient, then she is kind and loving back.

And the second I understood that, was like, wow, my kids are like my mirror. And I've taken that throughout my whole motherhood. And I want to invite every mother listening. Instead of looking at your child and thinking what your child is doing wrong and how they're misbehaving or whatever.

They're just mirroring us. There's nothing bad about a child. They're just responding to us because they respond through our nervous system. They don't know any better. We're their mirror. So when we're not aware of how we behave, and we often are not, then we can just look at our children and then say, OK, why is my child behaving that way right now? Why is she throwing a tantrum? OK, let's just hear her out.

Be patient.

Chelsea Myers (36:50)
Yeah, mean, they do not have the capacity to communicate what's going on in their brains a lot of the time, at least when they're that little. ⁓ So yeah, they're responding to external stimuli and their external stimuli right now is us and home and yeah. But also not laying blame on yourself. You're not a bad mom if your kid has a tantrum. No, no. And I...

Naomi Morad (37:14)
No, no, no, no, no, no. mean, obviously, my kids

had a tantrum and I had one of my children throw herself on the floor in the middle of the street and toss her bike to the corner and I didn't know how to cope with it. Today, I'm much smarter how I could have coped with it differently. I'm not. Yes. Thank you. It's just an invitation because it's so easy to look at our children and make them responsible for it.

Chelsea Myers (37:19)
Yeah.

Right.

no, I didn't think you were implying that at all. ⁓

Naomi Morad (37:42)
stuff that doesn't even belong to them, that they're caring for us. Anyway, it's just a side note.

Chelsea Myers (37:47)
Yeah. No,

I think it's important to note ⁓ so it brings me to, I have a curiosity and then I'm going to bring us back home. But so my curiosity is

Is this something that you have, maybe not necessarily your trauma, but your healing process? Is it something that you have shared with your children or made them a part of?

Naomi Morad (38:16)
very much. ⁓ And because my with my girls I definitely overshared.

Chelsea Myers (38:18)
Yeah.

Mm.

Naomi Morad (38:23)
because

it was all happening at the same time. So there were very little, all of my trauma was coming to surface. I had to cope and deal with my family, my parents. I disconnected from them. We didn't see grandma and grandpa anymore. There was a lot of like, it was very turbulent and navigating through this was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And

Chelsea Myers (38:50)
Yeah.

Naomi Morad (38:52)
I shared with them in a way that I thought, you know, it was like looking back, it was probably still too much for them. But that's just what happened. You know, that was my way of coping and keeping them safe and my way of making sense of what was happening.

With my boys, it took much longer until they knew that we don't speak to my dad and that there are issues in the family and that their cousins seem to be much closer with their grandparents and all sorts of things like that. But I didn't really explain that much until they were in their teens. So they knew something, but...

Chelsea Myers (39:35)
Mm.

Naomi Morad (39:40)
I really just shared a lot more when they were ready to hear and one was very curious and the other one didn't really want to hear much until he was like 17, 18. He just, every time I brought it up, he was like shutting down because he couldn't cope with it. So yeah, again, different generation, different parenting, different needs, different coping skills.

Chelsea Myers (39:56)
Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and

I just, ask because I, every family is different and every, every parent is different. And I, I'm always curious. I think there's more of a push these days, which I think is great, of being open with your kids because you're a person too. Just like we said, like our kids are processing their own.

stuff and trying to figure out the world. think showing them that we're human too and that we have our own things that we're dealing with is important.

Naomi Morad (40:40)
sure

for sure and my kids definitely saw me cry on different occasions like as much as I sometimes wanted to shield them but they also could see that I was going through things it's a it's a delicate line you know you don't want to

I definitely don't want to keep it a secret. That was never an option because I do not do secrets. I'm allergic to keeping secrets.

Chelsea Myers (41:07)
No. I would imagine not. Yeah.

Naomi Morad (41:14)
transparency and openness is ⁓ as important and whenever my kids have questions I'm always there to answer but I don't feel that there's always an opening for them to hear if that makes sense there's like ⁓

Chelsea Myers (41:28)
Mm.

Naomi Morad (41:31)
that need to tune in and see when is the time that we can talk about it. Sometimes we have to talk about things because of things that are happening or things that came to surface that are important for them to know. And sometimes we just let them, have to let them come to us.

Chelsea Myers (41:48)
Yeah, yeah, we've got to be mindful of when they're ready to receive it. Right? Yeah. Well, I am I'm gonna start bringing us home a little bit. I'm gonna wrap us around. I have really appreciated, just like you just said, your vulnerability, and your honesty. And ⁓ I've loved getting to learn more about you.

and the journey that brought you to where you are today. For listeners who may want to learn more, because we obviously couldn't get into everything, ⁓ my podcasts would be hours long if I could talk about the things I wanted to talk about. ⁓ Where are the best places that they can look to learn more about you?

Naomi Morad (42:31)
Okay, the easiest place to connect with me is through my website. It's NaomiMorad.com. And I always start out with everyone with a free consult where we get to know each other, see for a good fit. I work both online and in person. And feel free to reach out.

Chelsea Myers (42:55)
Yeah, that'll be linked in the show notes too. So if listeners want an easy way to find you, they can just click in the show notes. And I have been ending my episodes differently this season. So I'm gonna have you do a little exercise. Not really, not a physical exercise. Don't worry, you don't have to get out of your chair. So.

We're hearkening back to the days before we were all able to be reached all the time, before text message, before voice memo, before all of these things where we could never be left alone. When you had the good old days where, yes, hey, I remember those days too. But so when you had to call and if the person wasn't there, you had to leave an old fashioned message on the answering machine.

Naomi Morad (43:29)
The good old days. The good old days, trust me. The good old days.

Chelsea Myers (43:46)
So, and you can interpret this in whatever way feels right for you, but you don't know my next guest. You don't know who they are. You don't know what their story is, but you called Quiet Connection today and you're going to leave a message for my next guest.

I'll at least give you a hint. It's a mom. My next guest is a mom. They're not always moms. So for the next mom who's coming on to Quiet Connection, what message would you like to leave them?

Naomi Morad (44:08)
Okay.

Thank

⁓ What message would I like to leave her? To enjoy the podcast, to enjoy the hour with Chelsea and that she can feel very relaxed and safe and ⁓ to just stay curious.

Chelsea Myers (44:36)
I love that. I love that so much. Thank you. ⁓ Every answer is different. Sometimes it's like a message directly to them. Sometimes it's about your experience. Sometimes, I don't know. I just think that this is really interesting. And the part that I think is gonna be fun is that for you to get your message, you have to listen to the episode before yours and you can see if it resonates or not.

Naomi Morad (45:02)
Interesting.

Chelsea Myers (45:02)
⁓

yeah, it'll be like a little cosmic experience or experiment and we'll see. We'll see if they if they hit home or if they're way off base. But, but yeah, just Naomi, I'm so thankful that I got to spend some time with you today that you shared your story. And I know that there's someone out there listening that doesn't feel alone because because of your story. So thank you.

Naomi Morad (45:11)
you

Thank you, Chelsea. Thank you so much for having me. And I really enjoyed this hour with you.