38. Helping Couples to Do Money Together: An Advisor’s Guide with Heather & Douglas Boneparth Artwork

Planning & Beyond® - Where financial planning meets human understanding

Planning & Beyond® is for financial advisors who want to go beyond the numbers and build deeper, more trusted client relationships.

Hosted by Ashley Quamme, a licensed therapist and financial behavior specialist, this podcast helps advisors better understand the psychology, emotions, and behaviors that shape client conversations.

Each episode offers practical strategies you can apply in discovery meetings, prospect conversations, difficult money discussions, and major life transition planning. Through conversations with experts in behavioral finance, financial psychology, and financial therapy, Ashley explores how advisors can strengthen communication, navigate emotional moments, build trust, and support clients with more confidence.

If you want to improve the way you connect with clients, ask better questions, and bring more empathy and clarity into your planning process, Planning & Beyond® will help you sharpen the human side of your advisory work.

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Mastering discovery and prospect meetings
Navigating difficult money conversations
Understanding client psychology
Building trust and deepening client relationships
Managing emotional client situations
Improving advisor-client communication
Applying behavioral finance strategies
Supporting clients through life transitions

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Planning & Beyond® - Where financial planning meets human understanding

38. Helping Couples to Do Money Together: An Advisor’s Guide with Heather & Douglas Boneparth

December 04, 2025 • Ashley Quamme

0:00 | 39:28

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You've seen it happen: one partner takes notes while the other zones out. Tension surfaces when discussing spending. Only one person shows up to quarterly reviews. Sound familiar?

This episode tackles the messy, emotional work of helping couples navigate money together. I sit down with Heather and Douglas Boneparth, authors of "Money Together," to explore why traditional financial planning often misses the mark with couples—and what you can do differently.

We dive into the hard stuff: invisible labor that goes unvalued, career sacrifices that breed resentment, cultural and religious differences shaping financial decisions, and how mental health factors like ADHD impact financial engagement. This isn't about joint accounts versus separate accounts—it's about the power dynamics, contribution definitions, and deeply held beliefs that actually drive financial behavior.

You'll learn how to spot warning signs that money conflicts are about something deeper, how to invite both partners into conversations without creating defensiveness, and when to refer to specialists.

Heather shares a powerful insight from their research: couples where one partner earns less or no income consistently said they don't feel free to spend. Not because of budget constraints—because they've lost agency around money. That's not a communication problem. That's a power dynamic undermining every strategy you build.

Whether you work primarily with couples or occasionally navigate partnership dynamics, this conversation equips you with frameworks for thinking differently about the human side of financial planning.

RESOURCES AND GUEST INFORMATION

About Heather and Douglas Boneparth:

Douglas Boneparth is a Certified Financial Planner with nearly two decades of experience and the founder of Bonafide Wealth. Heather Boneparth is a corporate attorney who brings a unique perspective on career transitions, power dynamics, and equity in relationships. Together, they are the authors of "Money Together: A Practical Guide to Navigating Money in Relationships."

Connect with Heather and Douglas: