EP7: TRUST YOUR POWER-how our shadow can temporarily keep us from remembering our unique creativity and intuition

In today’s episode I speak about one of my favorite topics, Creativity and intuition. this topic was born all because I was in a loop of believing that I needed some big life change or big spiritual thing to happen for me to be tapped into my creativity and my intuition. I thought that something was blocking it. And I was right, but not in the way in the way I was previously perceiving it. I was looking for something that was already here. 

FOLLOW ME: 

https://www.instagram.com/fluidity_hannahmae/

https://www.instagram.com/hannah_mae_snyder/

Youtube 

https://www.youtube.com/@TheFluidityPodcast

Transcript

0:02

Hello friends, happy Tuesday or whatever day you're listening to this on. This is the fluted podcast and we are on episode number eight. I am feeling great today. I got these bright yellow pants. I'm obsessed with them. I've been really into cargo pants the last couple of weeks and I swear they're the comfiest thing. Like I just want to wear them all day. Anyway, I hope you guys are doing awesome. It is a beautiful day here in Michigan. And. Today is Probably one of my favorite topics that I'm going to talk about as of yet, and it is about our creative intelligence, our intuition, how we can really trust our power, and really about remembering just how powerful we are. I'm going to go into a little bit about how our shadow or, our Subconscious can sometimes get in the way of us trusting our intuition and letting our creativity flow the way it's intended to in our unique expression of it and So yeah, I feel like this last week. I had a lot of Realizations and a lot of growth in just one week, honestly, and it's scary, but also Exciting which is how I know it's My soul expanding and Ready to evolve. Today's quote just says exactly what we're going to be talking about today and it says it in a couple words, but obviously I'm going to break it down. Intuition is recognizing our higher path. Creativity is what happens when we follow it. I'm going to say that one more time. Intuition is recognizing our higher path. Creativity is what happens when we follow it. For a long time, I've always been very intrigued by the topic of creativity and intuition and just always looking at people that I felt was super, that I perceived as very creative, very intuitive. I Was always in all of them and I always deep down wished that was me like always I was like wow I wish I could be like that. I wish I was just that tapped into the universe that tapped into the flow to have these things flow through me and What I was doing when I was thinking that I wasn't those things was cutting it off before I even had a chance Because what I realized the last week I already knew these things, but what I really like on a deep personal level realize is that we really all are intuitive and highly creative, but we have conditioning or shadows that tell us that we aren't these things and that we aren't connected to the universe and somehow we're just separate and we are not separate. And even though you can like conceptually, like I've been on this spiritual journey for a little bit now, and. If you have been too, people always talk about, we're not separate. We're all one being we're all one And you can understand what they're saying and it feels so true to you. But you on a, on a personal level, like something in the background is like telling you, not you. It's like you consciously know what they're talking about and you believe it. But like on a deep subconscious level, you do not. And that's what the shadow is. And this last week, I've really, Uncovered the shadow that was lurking my whole life and it's still there But now that I can see it and recognize it I can move past it and not let it stop me And I know the more healing will the more healing work. I do the less active that shadow or subconscious programming will be there. And yeah, so I do want to give you guys a little bit of backstory because I, for a long time, really in these last three years, on my spiritual journey, I have been on a hunt to find that one thing that is going to make me become tapped into the universe. and this was subconscious too, like I'm realizing. My patterns and why I was doing things was because I believed that I had to have this big spiritual awakening where just one day everything would change. I would be a completely different person. I would have some intelligence that I never had before. And I would feel like a whole different person and I wouldn't even be me anymore. And I was also looking for others to spark that within me or tell me the thing I had to do to make that happen. And I realized I was, like, searching for that one bright light to give me my higher self that's been lost and that I haven't had access to this whole time. And what I realized this last week is, I've been here, she's been here the whole entire time, I was Just not in the timeline of believing that I was her. Hopefully this is making sense, but, I also have been really diving deep into timelines, and different rea like, understanding that there's multiple realities available all at once. And I that never really clicked for me. I never really understood what that meant until last week. And, It's just mind blowing now to understand it and there's a lot more to go, but like I'm just I feel like I'm just now Understanding what I've been quote unquote searching for but it's always been there So there's multiple different realities, right and you get to choose which one And we think we don't have that power. We think someone else gives us the answers or the formula or the algorithm to get to a different timeline or that we have to change everything. And that we don't already have these things inside us. Like we have to outsource everything to get to where we want to go. But in reality, it's, we get to choose the different timeline. Once we choose. Who we are, because we already are the person, the higher self, the more evolved, the tapped into the universe, the spiritual, the creative, intuitive person. We already are that person, but they're in a different timeline. So I hope this is all making sense. I, like I said, I just had this realization last week. So it's still, my thoughts are a little scattered, but realizing that I was choosing this whole time to believe that I wasn't already tapped into the universe, creative, intuitive, and I already had all the answers. I literally had all the answers this whole time and I was, I kept pushing them away and saying, Oh no, that's not it. Because I was expecting this big, huge, like spiritual awakening where I had all these. Beings telling me who I was, what I had to do, what I, like, all the steps I had to do and what I realized is I already know and when I kept outsourcing and trying to find other people to tell me, I was literally telling myself that I didn't already know these things. So they, I didn't even give myself a chance to, I didn't even give myself a chance to hear my wisdom that was already there. And I think we. Get so deep in our subconscious beliefs and our shadow that we've lived with our whole life That to switch your mindset slightly and think could I have been here literally all along could my higher self and what people always talk about their higher self and Their like more evolved version of themselves like tap into that and I'm like, I don't think she's here Like I literally thought that I was like, I don't think she's here I don't know and once I like I was in a meditation and once I realized my meditation, I'm like, I kept looking for something. And then I realized I'm looking for something that's already here. So of course you're not going to find it because it's literally already here. It's already, you're already it. It's just tapping into the frequency of the one who knows who she is, what she is, how she serves. And once you do that, it's it's such a subtle shift. Okay, I do want to say something. I remember, I don't remember who I was listening to, but they said it could be the easiest shift of your life, like in a split second you could do it. And I remember getting very irritated at that and I'm like, how? I've been trying for so long to switch my mindset and to see to have my higher self come through. It's because I was trying to get something that I was trying to get something that I thought I didn't already have. So that's why I was looking all over when the thing I was looking for was me. And yeah, I just been, once I opened that and realized who I was already, like who I've been this whole time, I've been getting channel messages and I never really understood what channeling really was. And essentially it's getting messages from. the divine, like just true, pure messages and just wisdom. And we all can tap into that. And I too was like really forcing, thinking that I had to get all these channeled messages through like meditation and they had to come like this really almost like just what in the movies, Like this really extravagant way and if they weren't like this really extravagant way of getting this channel message that I wasn't doing it right or like that like it couldn't have been me You know, it couldn't have been me like having these channel messages come through they're so subtle and I know the more that I listen and the more that I let them through the More clear and just the stronger they'll get but like I'm actually now Understanding that it's been me all along. So wow, that was long. I just wanted to say that because I've been on this journey for a little bit now and I would have loved to, and I guess people were trying to tell me this, but it wasn't landing for me. I wasn't understanding that like it was already me. And that's why it's so hard to grasp because that you has been there the whole time. And it's why haven't I been, why haven't I've seen that is because you have a lot of subconscious shadows that aren't allowing you to believe it. You can feel almost like your subconscious can go back and be like no, trying to pull you back and tell you don't trust yourself, and it's going to keep coming back. But the more you believe who you are and not believe the stories, the subconscious believes quiet and you can catch them easier. You can catch the shadow. I really wanted to that was, sorry guys, I went off on a tangent, but I do want to tell you guys a little, a couple stories one of them was how this even came to be, like how I caught my shadow. And then I'm going to tell you guys my shadow as well to give you some context. And again, this is all my experience, but hopefully my story will remind you of something new. Remind you of maybe something you're holding on to and negative belief that you're holding on to so let's get into it This whole topic on shadows and my shadow I realized what my shadow was last week I really have been, like I said, trying to be creative, like trying to be intuitive and forcing it and thinking that I had to find something outside of myself or whatnot. And so I had this intuitive hit to go to a Reiki healer. Now, I do want to put on a side note here that I didn't realize a lot of my my intuition and the way the universe speaks to me is through podcasts and is through the outside world. Everyone gets their intuitive hits and the, and messages from the universe different. And I again was trying, I was looking at other people's stories and thinking that everyone's the same. And when you do that, you miss out on your own genius and how you personally receive messages. And so I was just counting. All the messages I've been getting and thinking that they were just coincidences Like I really wanted to believe that they were in intuition But like on a deeper level I was like no like I was not trusting it but anyway, so back to the story I was listening to a podcast and they said something about reiki healing and i've gotten reiki a couple times but the way like I've noticed now when people say things and it like, it pings it like I, it's like a, I can't explain it and you'll have your own like light bulb or hit intuitive hit when something's meant for you and the more that you practice learning that. The stronger it will get and the more you just have to it's trial and error you have to try things out you to trust yourself and the more you do the louder and the easier it is to trust those pings so I got this weird feeling about Reiki and my first initial thought was oh my gosh maybe this is because Reiki is going to ignite a big spiritual awakening where like I fully can receive my channel and I can start channeling and it will be like this big extravagant thing. This is what I've, been wanting or been waiting for. Like maybe this Reiki session is gonna give me information that I haven't had before. That was in the background. That was why I was going. And I remember feeling a lot of expectation going into this Reiki healing. By the way, I was. I wanted a new Reiki healer and I found this amazing guy and it's no coincidence how amazing he is. Because again, I believe my intuition brought me to him. Sorry. That was another side note. So I was feeling very like dense going to this Reiki healing because I had a lot of expectation and I am now very aware that I can tell when I have expectation for something. And I was almost like nervous because I was nervous of it not going the way I wanted. Like I was like if this, if I don't get my big, like spiritual awakening, what am I doing wrong? Like it was all these things in the background. I was laying on the table Trying to make sure I was doing everything perfectly and just like putting a lot of pressure on myself and okay don't think I hope that I don't do anything wrong to mess this up where I don't You know, get this big extravagant like information flow. I don't know what I was. I literally thought it was going to be something that I haven't experienced before and that it was going to be something like that I haven't had access to. And so during the Reiki healing, I kept I kept having these feelings and just down on myself. Like I didn't trust myself. And I realized. I was putting so much pressure on this experience to give me information. And then I realized that it was, it's been me all along. I've had literally all the information at my fingertips and I've been excusing it thinking that It's not there. During the Reiki session, I felt my third eye, just open up. And they were, these were very subtle things that happened during the Reiki session. And it wasn't even during the Reiki session that I realized all this. I was talking to him after and realized, I've been wanting this huge, big awakening, So I left the session and I was feeling a little bit like I felt really good, but also that subconscious belief was like in the background, like a little bit disappointed. Oh, I like, I didn't have this big, huge awareness or like light or like big stream of information but then I realized I was getting information and it was already there. It was quiet, but it was literally always there. And I then after the session just felt more clear and it was just a slight shift. And then I realized Before I was watching a podcast, I had some channeled things come through and I didn't know that they were channeled messages at the time. And I was feeling very anxious and just not creative. And just, again, I had those like negative thoughts coming back up last week. I got this intuition to watch this podcast. The podcast was literally channeling all the things that I already channeled like 15 minutes before. Like all the things that I was, that was coming through. I just, I didn't believe them because I didn't think that I could do it. I don't know. It's so hard to explain and it's such a subtle shift that, yeah, it's so hard to explain. But what I believe happened was the the Reiki just Really cleared out any of the the stagnant energy that was just in my energy body and Really helped open up the channel so I could I don't even know really what happened guys I don't have an explanation but it definitely it definitely made a big shift in my consciousness to know that I've literally been here channeling the whole time and I just haven't been listening or believing that I could do it. And yeah, so after I like had that big realization last week, I've just been getting like a lot of wisdom come through and a lot of just clarity on my mission and what I'm here to do. And I have been holding back so much because I haven't been believing in myself. And I do want to tell you guys about my shadow and this actually came up too while I was at my Reiki session because he he's so awesome. If you guys need any Reiki in Michigan, let me know. I'll tell you who to go to if you would like, just a recommendation. But we had a little bit of therapy session before and I don't even know what I was saying. It just came out and I remember what I said and then after Reflecting on everything. I realized that this was my shadow And why it's been holding me back once I tell you guys my shadow, it's gonna make a lot more sense that Why I haven't? Like why this would keep me from believing that I could be all the things I am and I think everyone has a Form of this everyone obviously everyone has their own shadows. It's gonna come through different ways But again, hopefully this sheds light on maybe one of yours or makes gives you a realization so basically the shadow is revolving around not trusting myself, not believing that I, have the inner wisdom or have the knowledge, just me. Because growing up, I was dyslexic, I had ADD, I had ADHD. I also had a speech impediment. So I, from a young age, felt stupid and I was always talked to differently, put in different classes, and just really made Me feel like I couldn't trust myself like that's the only thing that comes to me when I think about the shadow Just like not trusting myself and not believing in myself because for years I was told that I wasn't smart that I had something wrong with me and so That shadow was is deep is very deep and really that the not believing in myself came through You With me being tapped into the universe and me being a channel and being creative. Like I remember always feeling like, how could I create anything? I always felt so indecisive and like just I, with my OCD as well. Like I just didn't trust myself. I didn't trust my decisions. I, it was like my head and my heart were so opposite from each other. My head was telling me one thing. My heart was telling me another thing. And I was always torn because I didn't know which one to go through. And I was always scared of being wrong. Like my shadow was not trusting myself and always terrified that I'd make the wrong decision yeah, I know that there's a deeper, there's deeper things with that. And I'm just now getting to the surface level of it, but yeah, just really not trusting my judgment. And I believe that we have these big challenges, like me not trusting myself, not believing myself, fear of being wrong. We have challenges like those, so we can remember who we really are, which is someone that. It's highly intuitive, knows Who she is, what she is and how she serves. To be able to be that confident and have the wisdom and being tapped into the universe, I had to experience, the other side of literally not having one ounce of confidence or belief and trust in my innate wisdom. Yeah, that's my belief. And I think that goes with everyone. If you're chan if you're struggling with something, just know that you're struggling with it so you can see the other so you can get to the other side of being the best version to be the opposite side of the coin hopefully this is landing for you guys. This is making sense. So I am on the journey of releasing my shadow and my subconscious beliefs. And it's not easy, let me tell you. But once you can identify them, you can catch yourself. Like the, I was realizing that I was, so I started this podcast, right? I, this is my dream. And I, yeah, I started it, but there was still this part of me that was like, just not feeling Like anybody was going to listen or like I couldn't do it. And then, I realized that like I have to step out of the way, like sometimes this isn't about me. It's about the messages I send and hopefully they help others. And I know this is very early in my journey. I feel so called to this and I'm going to follow it. If I didn't have the awareness I do now, I would for a long time, I didn't start this because I didn't think I could do it. You know what I mean? It's a fear of being wrong, not trusting yourself. But the only way you get past that is if you believe in yourself enough to just start. And yeah, it's gonna be fucking uncomfortable. Like I still get nervous, still. It's like episode 8. I get nervous before I do this and I'm like, am I gonna have anything to fucking say? And you just have to put yourself out there and keep putting in the reps and keep trying. And once you start moving towards your path, things start aligning. And yeah, I also recently, I've always wanted to dance. And some of you guys that know me, I danced when I was younger, but it was more of like ballet, tap, jazz, like very structural. I have always been so intrigued by hip hop dancing, by shuffling, by all of that. And I've been wanting to dance for years like that. And I haven't because I Again, didn't think I could do it and I'm starting to learn how to dance and dance for myself and not for a structured a structured routine that someone's making up for me. Like I've always wanted to like, yeah, just, let it rip, and so I'm starting to do that and it's uncomfortable. I feel stupid. Yeah, but that is how you overcome the negative self talk and the doubt is you just fucking do it and the more that you put yourself in those uncomfortable positions and you Show yourself that sometimes it just takes practice and like we're always bad at things when we first start but like to just let yourself open up and Follow the things you're interested in, i've also You I've been having a lot of realizations of what I want to do. And the more that I put one step, one foot in front of the other like insights and messages have been coming through of where to go next. And I listened to a podcast the other day and she said something beautiful. And it was, I think I'm going to botch the quote, but it was something like, you don't always have the full map or the. What'd she say? You don't have the full manuscript to what you're trying to create in the beginning. Like they don't you can't just wait for you can't just everything to be slapped on an Excel sheet of like, where to go, what, like you have to just, your journey and your mission becomes visible to you when you start putting one foot in some of the, and hello, when you, put one foot in front of the other and you just start moving and you start taking action with the things that are coming to you and trusting your intuition and trusting yourself that you already have the answers. One thing I did realize too is when you keep telling yourself you don't know outsourcing you're putting yourself in a different timeline of telling yourself. You don't know who you are. You don't know what you are. You don't know how you serve. You're telling yourself that you don't know. And of course, your subconscious and your mind is going to give you what you're telling it. But if you switch your mindset and your frequency and your, just your being and to, I do know. I do know all these things. I do know. When you keep telling yourself, I do know, things just start to pop in and you don't have to force it. And I know it's scary as shit to let go and just be like, I do know it's scary. But the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more magical life is. And your path then starts to make more sense. The more you take action towards the things that you're getting those intuitive hits on. But if you're not, and I for a long time kept saying, I'm stuck. That's also. That's also leading you down a path of being stuck. You get to, you literally get to choose what timeline you're on. If you are sitting here telling yourself you're stuck and you're choosing that, I know it's so hard to wrap your head around. But you get to choose. Once I decided that I do know what I'm doing, I'm on my highest timeline, things are starting to open up a lot more, and things are starting to make sense, and I'm trusting myself more. The shadow part of it is still there and I'm still working on it. But also another thing I heard that has sat with me and made me feel at peace is when these really uncomfortable feelings of, doubt of insecurity of. Just like you can feel when these emotions start to come up. It's a good thing It means that you're evolving and those limiting beliefs can't come with you And so you have to alchemize them and i've been in my era of learning how to alchemize my emotions and i've never thought I would get excited when belief comes up or an emotion comes up to sit with it and understand it But I feel like i'm at that place now where I can sit with it and just hang out You And get to know it because I have unattached myself to feeling anxiety or feeling doubt. Like those don't have to be me. I don't have to associate Hannah with those things because I'm so much more. And sorry guys, I'm like going all over the place because I'm just excited. Okay. One more thing I didn't want to touch on. I made some notes and I love how I'm not even reading. Like I literally made so many notes and I haven't even been looking at them. I am in a flow my friends. Okay, so another thing I want to talk about was, like, where your inspiration comes from. I have been really loving human design. If you've listened this far, take a look at human design if that feels like it resonates or it intrigues you. Human design has been a huge part of me understanding myself. And I will do an episode one, one of these times on human design but I'm still a newbie at it. And I would love to get someone on my podcast that is really into human design and knows more than I do because I could talk to them all day. So if you know anyone or if you are into human design and want to come on my podcast, I will leave my Instagram handle down below. So yeah, another thing with inspiration and everything, once I understood with human design. In my chart, the way I receive or the way I get inspired is from other people and my, the life around me. That's how I get inspired and how my channel really turns out and activates and Just helps me remember yeah It just opens my channel even more and I was really shutting that down because there are some people that you know in their chart they get inspiration from going within and I always thought that the channel messages or like my intuition will come through during meditation and sometimes it does but not always like sometimes it comes at random frickin times inspiration comes in all forms when we put expectations on how our flow and channel comes through, we do ourself a disservice. So when you expect your flow and your creative flow and all these things to come a certain way, you're blocking yourself off from how it really will come through. And just to trust that It will be unique to you and that's where it really comes in to really get to know yourself and know that You're going to be different from everybody else and hell. Yeah for that. I for a long time tried to take other people's way of receiving their creative creativity or the way they got intuitive hits or and thinking that's how I was going to get them, but they're completely different Like I said, the universe speaks to me through podcast, through the outside world, like synchronicities and I get my intuitive hits, not always when I'm in meditation, like it happens at random times and to let go of the resistance and really trust what comes through has been huge. Random things that will come through I'll be writing them down and I feel like that's been helping Also once you decide that you are creative and intuitive and That the divine does express through you start to realize You start to see that it does like it's just a small shift. It's not like you have to go anywhere do anything. It's seeing it And trusting that it's there once you open yourself up to that divine flow. It will come through you And just to not fight and it's easier said than done and it takes practice and I am like just now I feel like Getting into that creative flow, trying to see if I had anything else on here that I want to talk about. Also, it's not always about you, to remember that you're, the divine expresses through you I was judging the way I was getting information, like the way I was receiving it, and because I wanted it to be something else, and thinking it wasn't good enough, and I think that was part of my shadow as well, is like not thinking I'm good enough, or not thinking that anything that has to do with me is good enough. And that's a lot of inner work that I have to do, but now realizing that's a shadow and that's a deep Untrue belief I can see when it comes up and I can choose not to associate with it And I think that's huge and also I remind you guys that these small shifts like they take It's just small shifts, and the more that you get quiet, and the more that you follow your intuition, and the more you believe in yourself, these things will start to come through. And I think everyone's on the path of figuring out them, and I think we do ourself, ourself a disservice when we try to replicate, there we go, replicate, oh my gosh, when we try to replicate someone else's journey or thinking that someone else, the way they do something is the way that you should do it. And so I just want to remind you guys to find your own way, find your own flow and no judgment because I've been doing it up until now. And I can see sometimes it does creep up because the great thing about the subconscious you don't always know that it's there. So to be really conscious and really aware of. When it comes up because you do know you know who you are You know how you serve and you are here to be your authentic self And the universe is trying to help you be that like that's all the universe is trying to do is to be your most authentic magical beautiful divine self Life is there to help you do that. It's not against you and once we start to see life that way It shows us that it's here for us. So I hope you guys got something out of this today. I Really do appreciate everyone that's listening and I really do want to connect with you guys. So if you, if any of this resonated with you, please comment hit that subscribe button. I do have this on Spotify. If you're watching on YouTube, if you're listening on Spotify, I do have this on YouTube as well. And please follow me on Instagram. Again, send me a message. If any of this resonated with you, I'd love to connect and I am just so grateful that I get to do this and my friends, you have a beautiful day. Peace out.