Lets Listen
This is the podcast where we listen to our youth tell us about their mental health and how they are coping and growing. Each episode our youth give their real life stories and experiences. Lets listen to the info from the mouth of the babes.
Lets Listen
Anti - Social Media ft Jolene Osztian with Akon and Noa.
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This episode tackles the urgent topic of youth mental health in the context of social media. Through candid conversations, youths share their experiences of struggling with mental health while navigating the often overwhelming digital landscape. They discuss the harmful comparisons, the need for support, and the importance of reaching out for help, all while emphasizing that healing is a journey requiring self-awareness and community connection.
• Sharing personal mental health experiences with social media
• Discussing unhealthy habits developed from social media usage
• Exploring both the negative and positive impacts of online connections
• Overcoming feelings of inadequacy and guilt through support
• The importance of reaching out and seeking help
• Addressing adult perspectives on youth mental health
• Emphasizing the need for understanding and authenticity
Reach out to someone if you’re struggling—it’s okay to ask for help.
Huddleletslisten.ca
Youth Mental Health and Social Media
Speaker 1Welcome to your Huddle South Central's let's Listen podcast here. We're dedicated to discussing mental health topics openly and honestly. Before we begin, we want to remind you that the information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not reflect the views of Huddle South Central. While we strive to provide accurate and up-to-date information, mental health research and understanding are always changing and information shared in this podcast may become outdated over time.
Speaker 1If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, we encourage you to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. Please don't disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you heard on this podcast. By tuning in to let's Listen, you agree that we will not be held responsible for any actions taken based on the information provided. Always consult with a mental health professional or health care provider for specific advice related to your individual situation. We appreciate you listening and for taking care of your mental health.
Speaker 2Hi guys, counselor Jolene, here, just a little content warning for today's episode. There is talk of mental health, suicidality, self-harm and guilt and shame surrounding social media. So if any of these topics are going to be upsetting for any of our listeners today, we recommend skipping this episode, and we would love to have you come back for our next one. Have a great day.
Speaker 4Hello folks, welcome back to let's Listen, where our youth try to destigmatize mental illness. It's about time we start listening. Today we've got some new youth, new faces, new voices ready to share their thoughts and opinions, and we're just going to let them take over. This is their show, so let's let them do what they do. Thanks for listening, thanks for tuning in. This program is brought to you by Huddle Sound Central.
Speaker 2Hey everyone, my name is Jolene, my pronouns are she, her, and I am joined by Noah, I go by they them.
Speaker 5My name is Khan and I go by she her.
Speaker 2Perfect. And yeah, we are here to talk about youth, mental health and anything else that kind of comes up for us today. Noah, do you want to get us started?
Speaker 6Sure. So I guess I kind of want to talk about how, what it's like living with a mental health every day and how social media kind of impacts that just a little bit so do you want to add anything?
Speaker 5I've gone. Yeah, I guess like the same thing too. Really, I don't really have like much words to express it, but I'll try to like as far as we go along with the podcast awesome.
Speaker 2So I'm kind of curious to know a little bit more, then, about your current relationship with social media and the internet. How would you guys describe that?
Speaker 5I mean I really like how authentic TikTok is, but it can really be like a dark place sometimes and like that could be like the comment sections to anything really, and I mean I guess like it would like maybe like leave me like really insecure because like they are a bunch of pretty looking people there um to kind of add on to that, I guess I would say um, I don't know, tiktok kind of has like this weird way of kind of knowing like what kind of mood you're in.
Speaker 6It's so weird because you could be like in a good mood and your four paid, four, you pay to be filled with like happy stuff, and then when you're like in a deep dark place, it can kind of get um overlapped with like sad stuff. And I guess that's not really good for people who suffer with mental health, because it can kind of make them feel sadder or worse. And I guess sometimes, like if you're sad for so long, you kind of find comfort in your own sadness, that like you don't really want to get out of it. And I guess TikTok kind of has a way of deepening that, and just all social media, I guess.
Speaker 2so yeah, so with that, do you kind of notice any maybe unhealthy habits that you have with social media or how? It might be harming your mental health.
Speaker 5I mean, I guess I would like find myself like comparing myself to like five or like more other people like every day, like trying to become like a newer version of them. Weirdly, that's taken a toll on me because I felt like I wasn't really myself and like I wasn't being myself by like wanting to be a different person.
Speaker 6I guess that's like kind of changed me in a way um, for me I guess it's more so like sad, I guess, for so long that I kind of don't really feel a way of like getting out of that. So tiktok kind of just like emphasizes it and glamorizes a little too much, like they glamorize the sad part but they don't really go into depth of how dark one can get with their mental being.
Speaker 2So do you find that maybe your social media use affects other parts of your life as well outside, maybe at school or with your family um, I would say so, like.
Speaker 6I mean, I definitely my screen time has definitely gotten a lot worse as time goes because I find myself being consumed with my phone and yeah. So I don't really have a social life outside of it. I mean I still do, like hang out with friends and stuff. It's just most of the time I find myself consumed with my social media, like, uh, what's the word consumed? I don't know.
Speaker 5I guess the same goes for me too. I've like stalking or like looking at other people's like posts on like any social media page, just like really created me like this fake image of like what life should be like and like how it's supposed to be like and some stuff.
Speaker 2So what kind of things are you seeing, then that make you think that this is what life should look like?
Speaker 5um, just like people having fun and like knowing myself.
Speaker 6I don't really have that kind of social life like I would kind of put myself in that position and like think that's like how life is supposed to be, just like one fake image or like real image on somebody's like story or something, and I'd feel guilty in a way yeah, um, I guess to add on to that too, I think the one thing that really impacts me is how people have like a total wrong idea of just how real social media or how real mental health is, because people kind of glamorize like the sad part but they don't really like understand just how like sad people get.
Speaker 6Because there's this like trend on TikTok right now that's called like bed rotting and it's supposed to be something that's joyful and happy and like not really caring about anything else. But the actual definition of bed rotting is literally like rotting in your bed for weeks or days on end for like you don't care about your personal hygiene, or like like brushing your hair, changing out of your clothes, like you're literally just consumed with being in your bed, that you don't really care. And I think people have this idea that mental health is so like overrated, or like people think people use their mental health as an excuse to be like a bad person. But that's not it. Like people are so caught up in their head and stuff that you don't really see just how dark people can get and how deep someone can get, until it's like until I don't know.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You mentioned there that some people are taking these aspects of a serious mental health challenge and they are making it into this maybe shinier version, and saying that this is like a trend or maybe this is some sort of more positive experience and that people might be using mental health as an excuse, maybe to not be as kind or do you know nice things yeah yeah, I think I don't know.
Speaker 6I just think the one thing also, too, I think really gets me is how someone can say that mental health matters but when it comes to someone actually being depressed or actually being like consumed by something, that it just turns them into someone who they're not. And I think too, I just don't like when people preach about something and then they make fun of other people for actually like living with a mental disorder and I just don't think a lot of people really understand or grasp the fact that this is very much a real thing that people go have to go through, that they don't really see how affected someone can get by it is this something that you think you guys are seeing in your schools with your friends?
Speaker 2Are you noticing this in yourself?
Speaker 5I mean, yeah for sure. I didn't really believe mental health was really a thing until I've started experiencing mental health and it kind of made me ask myself that kind of made me ask myself am I okay?
Speaker 2It's a hard question to ask yourself for sure. So you notice, maybe when you're on social media you're seeing these other things and you're starting to maybe ask yourself a little bit as well am I okay? Maybe you're seeing some unhealthy habits that are developed through social media. It could be like the, you know, increased screen use could be, you know, being distracted from your school work. Maybe you're noticing some disrupted sleep as well, because it can get really hard when we're just scrolling over and over and over again. Right?
Speaker 6yeah um, that's. Yeah, that's a good point because, honestly, like, I can find myself scrolling for like five, ten minutes and all of a sudden I'm on my phone for hours at a time and I just don't really know how, or I don't really see just how affected I get by it until it's happening.
Speaker 5So yeah, I'm really like not self-aware of like how much screen time I'd be using too.
Speaker 2I mean, I guess I am self-aware, but I feel like I don't care enough to like get off or like make some changes or anything like that does it surprise you at the end of the week when your phone sends you that little notification and it tells you your screen use was this amount last week. That's an increase of 32% from the week before yeah, like I barely noticed.
Speaker 6I think for me it's like lately I've kind of found myself not really being as focused on my screen time or really focused on social media, because I don't know, I go through these moods almost like every week where I kind of just ghost everybody and not really care about anything like but myself. I mean, at the end of the day too, like I really find myself not really caring about myself. So I usually just like ghost people or I delete all my social medias for a couple weeks and then I download them because I get bored, and then I just all my social medias for a couple weeks and then I download them because I get bored, and then I just go back into this endless cycle of me being consumed by social media. That's not really even real. I think people on social media kind of make this fake reality of how life is, when it's not actually what it's like.
Speaker 2So you're seeing, maybe, this unrealistic version of life and you notice yourself a couple times. You do delete social media and you decide that you can't do it anymore, but you usually eventually download it again. Yeah, how often do you kind of notice yourself reaching for that connection to social media or picking up your phone, opening whatever app it is?
Speaker 6um, I mean, like recently I've kind of set boundaries for myself to not pick up my phone as much, but before I think like it would, like I would constantly be on my phone. I don't think there was like a time where I ever really put down my phone or not had it in my hands or my pockets or anything like that. I think I'm before I was pretty much always on my phone. Yeah, I mean it's sometimes it gets so bad where I wouldn't even focus on my schoolwork because I was just so consumed by my phone and what was in front of me and like I don't know kind of craving like a life that people have on social media, that I started picturing it almost as mine. So I've kind of get so consumed into my phone that I stop facing the reality that I have in front of me, you know.
Navigating Mental Health and Social Interactions
Speaker 2When you're kind of doing that you mentioned, it's almost like a craving right. Do you notice anything in your body about any physical sensations or emotional feelings that you're having before and after you kind of pick up the phone or open that app? Um I don't know.
Speaker 6I mean, usually, before I kind of go on my phone, I kind of like get bored and I'm like, oh, like what's this person doing today?
Speaker 6Or like what's going on on social media that like I kind of get an urge to want to pick them up. But then I also kind of tell myself, like is it really worth looking at? But then while I'm doing it, I kind of get a sense of like enjoyment from it because I'm distracting my own mind from what's going on around me, that I'm kind of focused on other people's lives when I should be focusing on mine. But then, after I put my phone down, I feel like a sense of guilt because I'm not really focusing on my life, but I'm focusing more on other people's lives. And it's just kind of sad because I should be worrying about what's going on in my life and my friends and things around me, like schoolwork or like what am I going to do today or like what am I going to do this weekend. But I'm more so focused on what other people are doing and like how other people are happy or even, if that's like, even what they're actually feeling.
Speaker 5So I totally agree with that. I feel like jealousy is like the thief of happiness I constantly find myself like. Obviously, like comparing myself to like other people and stuff and um created this whole mindset of like how life should be and stuff and like um, yeah, I guess I would feel like a sense of guilt too, like not seeing their stories. That's something for me like as well to learn to like not care about what people are doing or saying as much, because that's not something I can control.
Speaker 6Yeah, I would say that's the same thing for me too, like I don't know. Like I've always my whole life I've always compared myself to other people and like really care about what other people think, because it gives me like a sense of like I don't know. It makes me feel free and like light when I know other people are like happy for me or like care about me. So I guess I've kind of always wanted people to care about me, so that way I wouldn't feel guilty if I didn't care about me. Like I feel like if other people cared, then I wouldn't have to care about myself and it would take much of like, it would take like a weight off my shoulder if other people cared about me more than I cared about myself. So definitely.
Speaker 2You know, one thing about being human is that we are very relational creatures, right, we are always going to look for and need that connection with other people, and social media can definitely be one of the ways that we do that. We do sort of see these idealized versions of what other people look like, and if we continuously keep seeing, you know, that same person's really happy life, maybe we feel a sort of kinship with them, while also, you know, maybe realizing that our lives don't look like that anymore and starting to feel bad about it.
Speaker 6Yeah, I think, to go back to what I was saying before and how people kind of make mental health and mental illness not what it is, I think the biggest thing, too, about that is like like how people can take one thing and then turn it into something completely different. Like I think people on social media joke about the idea of being suicidal or like being depressed as as like a thing to joke about and a thing to like make fun of other people for, when, on reality, people who go through stuff like this every day are genuinely just trying to live life and trying to survive. Because I think, coming from someone who does suffer from a lot of mental health issues, I think we're constantly in a state of fight or flight every day where we have to make that decision of what we're going to do with ourselves and what we're going to do every day to keep ourselves sustained and keep ourselves just alive. Yeah, you know so that's good.
Speaker 2Definitely, one of the things that we know about our brains is that they are wired for survival. So, unfortunately, as much as we need as humans and as people to you know, experience growth, our brains are made for that survival, not for growth, and so sometimes we need to kind of take that charge to do that growth on our own and when we're in that survival mode, right that fight or flight, freeze or fawn. Social media can definitely play a role in that as well.
Speaker 6It can sort of be that survival route because it's something that we know, maybe calms us down to be scrolling, but there's also other things that come up with it as well yeah um, to kind of go off topic with the social media thing, I think too, one thing I definitely notice in like my daily life or social life or school life, whatever the case may be people don't really get or understand just how hard it is to like live life every day battling with such a mental like state that like I think I've just been doing this for so long that people slowly like stopped not caring but slowly just stopped taking me seriously.
Speaker 6Um, my, I have a really like dark sense of humor where I can kind of joke about like the thought of dying or something to like my friends or like a guidance counselor or something to like, where you like they don't really take me seriously when I do say like I genuinely just don't want to be here anymore. I don't know, I just don't really know how to like deal with that every day because it gets just so, it gets so hard to kind of talk about it more and more as time goes on because people I feel like don't really take me seriously anymore because I've been kind of doing this cycle for so long.
Speaker 2So what is something that you would like them to understand a little bit more about you?
Speaker 6I think the one thing I would want someone to really get about me is that I'm just human, you know, like I have feelings and I have things that I go through every day that I think are worthy and I think should be talked about. But also, too, that like I can't control how I feel and I can't control how I feel on a day-to-day basis. Like there is some days where I generally come to school or go somewhere where I'm genuinely happy and like my like my thoughts are distracted for the day, and then other days I can come in and I'm completely like torn apart or sad, and I kind of have to put on this like facade for other people to kind of make sure that they don't see me as I see myself yeah, I really feel you on that too.
Speaker 5I just feel like I've heard from somebody be happy going to school like all the time and I guess that's kind of like stuck out with me for a long time and even with those days I was like not happy. I would still like try to put on like a fake face, to like make sure people see me or like view me as they see myself, and like if that makes sense.
Speaker 2What might it be like if people saw you for how you're really feeling or how you're really doing that day?
Speaker 5probably really humiliating.
Speaker 6Yeah, it's a humiliating um, I think for me I don't know, this is like a hard question because it's not like one right or wrong answer, it's just kind of more so what I would do if people did see like me for how I see myself.
Speaker 6Like I know, most of the time when people say what I am as a character, they would describe me as someone who's like funny or like nonchalant, but like in a good way and like I kind of don't really have a care in the world for other things, like obviously, like not in a bad way, like in a good way, where, like I kind of just am a happy person.
Speaker 6But I would say, how I appear on the outside to other people is not how I appear on the inside. So I think if people do see me or like when people like, when people actually do see me for what I'm not, that day it kind of is feels like I'm almost annoying them, like I feel like asking for help or asking for someone to talk to me for a few moments, just so I can feel okay again, I feel almost like I'm being a burden on somebody, like I feel almost I don't know I feel like I'm annoying them, just talking about my feelings because I feel like they. I'm taking their time out of their day to talk to me when obviously, like I know, they're there to help me. But I just can't help but always feel annoyed or annoying so yeah, that shame of guilt is so real.
Speaker 5Like I know, guidance counselors, teachers and friends are like there to talk to me, but I guess I feel like some type of annoying burden or something like they're taking like time out of their day to like come talk to me and stuff, and I don't know.
Speaker 6I just feel like really annoying as well in like some places too yeah, um, I think one thing too is once someone really gets to know me or really tries to get to know me, I'm like an open book and like I feel like I just can't really stop talking when I try to talk to people, because I'm just that kind of person where I don't really have endless thoughts or conversations.
Speaker 6But there is times where, like I just genuinely don't have anything else to say and I'm not really a conversationist. But like once I really get something happy to talk about, I'm like an open book and sometimes, like when I'm sad or I feel down on myself, I find myself wanting to talk to people, but then I also find myself closed off and building those walls because I feel like those people don't really or I don't deserve to really open up to people, because it's not their issue to have to talk to me or have to deal with me that day, because I'm just feeling sad or feeling kind of stupid for wanting to open up. And I always said this to people like my teachers or my friends or like even my current guidance counselor I've always felt a sense of like flight whenever I try to talk to them, because I feel like I'm annoying them so.
Speaker 2So there's definitely like a lot of this cycle of guilt and maybe feeling like you are taking time away from that person who's there to talk to you about these things. Yeah. Is there something that you think they could be doing that would be more helpful for you, or something that you would like those people to know?
Speaker 6Um, I don't know.
Speaker 6I mean, I always get this question.
Speaker 6I always get this question asked to me almost every day, like if I'm feeling down or something, and they're always like, oh, like what can I do to help or what do you need in this moment?
Speaker 6But honestly, I think the one thing I just need in that moment is just to talk and just to like let my emotions go without I't know, without feeling like guilty, but obviously like they can't really control, like if I feel guilt or not, because that's not on them, that's on me. So but I think the one thing I would like to let people know, like when I'm talking to them, is that I don't know, I'm just trying to like, I'm just trying to live every day and I'm trying to beat this battle of not wanting to be here all the time. So I just want people to know that, no matter how hard they try or they want to help I think it's more so I need to grow as a person to kind of want to receive help, because I don't really like receiving help, because I feel almost like a burden to get help from so I've heard you guys mention a couple times that sometimes you feel a little bit like a burden on other people.
Speaker 2Could you guys tell me a little bit more about what that experience is like, how you guys maybe came to feel that way?
Speaker 5This kind of goes back to childhood for me being neglected and all that as a kid, um, being neglected and all that as a kid, um, I guess my parents like never really learned what mental health was growing up and like kind of also didn't believe in it or like didn't think it was real.
Speaker 5And I guess I would try talking to them at some points and, like, as a person with depression, I've tried coming out to my mom about it too, because I told her I've had some, some symptoms and probably it's probably the most hurtful thing she's like told me was that I'm not sick, or like I don't have depression, without believing me or anything, or like hearing what else I really had to say about that. And I guess that kind of my parents opinions like kind of both stuck out to me like they do not care and I kind of had this like other image, thinking like nobody else will care really about that and like it wasn't mental health isn't important at all. And I guess I've realized now from time I've been doing like a lot better Talking to people who actually care and like who are educated a little bit more with mental health and yeah, it's been a little bit better.
Speaker 6Yeah, I would say for me too it's kind of like a childhood thing, because my whole life I've kind of always I don't know I've always felt like a sense of like I'm an outsider to most people and like I've just always kind of felt this sense of like like a burden to most people.
Speaker 6And my parents didn't really believe me when I tried telling them that like I've been feeling so down most of the time that they kind of just started neglecting my feelings and saying like oh, you're fine, like it's just like it's everyday life, like people go through this every day, like it's not just you. But as I gotten older I started talking to people and like I started going to like psychologists and stuff. And that's like when I like got diagnosed with depression, then even then my parents still didn't really understand what it's like and they kind of just told me that I have nothing really to be sad about because I kind of have like a roof over my head or I have like a meal to eat or stuff like that a meal to eat or stuff like that. So they don't really understand me. And that kind of made me always feel guilty or feel like a burden to talk to people, because if my own parents can't listen to me or they can't hear me, how will?
Speaker 2other people hear me. So you kind of both had this experience of these, you know, adults in your life who were supposed to be the ones to help you through that and to understand what you're going through, and they just kind of didn't yeah and now you're working with maybe some other adults or friends or people who do understand a bit better, but we're still kind of carrying some of those fears and thoughts about those reactions that we had in the past right yeah um, I had this one incident, I think at the beginning of this year this is a little bit dark, but um, it was right before winter break I guess.
Speaker 6um, I had tried to attempt, but after that it didn't work and so I had to go. Like the ambulance came and stuff, but after they left, my parents kind of my mom mainly started like gaslighting me and my grandma to try and make it seem like I was fine, like I'm just being dramatic and like I'm fine, but really the case was like I just genuinely didn't want to live day-to-day life anymore. But I don't think she really understood what that was.
Speaker 5I don't know, this is kind of going to sound a little bit dark too, but last year I've had an overdose on these pills I was taking and I guess my mom's whole reaction to it it's like kind of scared me out of a way to like stop doing drugs for a while. But I eventually like went back to them and, um, I guess she kind of made it seem like it was like all my fault, which I guess it kind of was. But the guilt that I felt like after her words like hit me, it's just, it's like still stuck out to me like till this day and I think that's what kind of made me like have a plan to like try commit to as well on my, on my pills. I've kept a new bunch of them in my old bag and I told myself like the next big thing that would happen, I would just follow them whole and just like. But I'm gladly I didn't. I've probably would have like missed so many new opportunities that like I could have not have done if I wasn't alive.
Building School and Community Support Systems
Speaker 2So I'm, I'm grateful before we continue are both of you comfortable with that being on this recording or do you want us to edit that out? I don't mind. I don't really mind either. So you guys have both gone through some incredibly difficult experiences, then, and you've had these reactions from other people that are completely unsupportive. Where have you guys found the support that you needed to keep going and carry on?
Speaker 5my school and positive friends yeah I would say my school too.
Speaker 6Like I think this year I've more so connected, more with my friends and teachers than I've ever had, and the rest like the rest of my years at my school and I'm very grateful for those people, because I don't, honestly, like I don't think I would really be here if I didn't have the support that they gave me. And I know some people may say like school's like a stupid place and like they hate school and it's just like a dread to go every day. Honestly, if, if I, if I didn't have my school and I didn't have my support that I have at school, I genuinely don't know where I would. Be like I, I love going to school every day and even though there's school work and other painful stuff waiting for me, I know, like I have people like my people at school yes, the school system that I'm in.
Speaker 5It really became my family, the people all around. I've been going to that school since grade seven and I guess I kind of like grew attached to it in a way, like like sometimes looking forward to going every day, like, even if I'm like in a bad mood or not, like it's still school the place to be at always, the place that makes me feel more at home, to like be with my people so you guys have both kind of managed to build this community through your school.
Speaker 2Are there other places that you also find a supportive community?
Speaker 5Yeah, definitely the huddle. I've went there a few times after school and like probably just like going there probably stopped me from like a few panic attacks I've had or like we're going to have.
Speaker 6Because it's just really that peaceful place and open minded place that like I really enjoy. I think for me too, like I went to huddle a few times the beginning of this year and it definitely helped. Like I definitely feel like when you walk in there you feel like a safe sense of like welcoming I guess. Like when you walk in there it's really comforting. But I haven't really gone in a little while so maybe I definitely should try and go back. But I think one place that definitely helps me is like my circle outside of school. Like my friends, like they still go to my school but when I don't, when I'm not at school, they're basically all. They're basically where I'm with most of the time and definitely extra curricular activities. Like I'm in this one um ribbon skirt making club after school with a bunch of teachers and students and it's really cool because they kind of just let me be who I am when I'm not like in my dark state of mind.
Speaker 2So you guys both managed to find sort of these places in school, some outside of school. We've talked a little bit about some of the more negative sides of social media. When we look at some of the positive sides of it, is there a community that you guys have found online or other aspects that you have found helpful or positive in your life?
Speaker 6um, I think the one thing I can say about social media that's a positive is people I've met on social media like I've. Most of my friends that I have are online friends and I've met them like over social media, whether it be like snapchat, tiktok, instagram, whatever and I think that's like one of the most positives I think I have about social media is just the people that you find on there. It definitely takes a lot of searching but, like, once you find the right people like, they definitely become your favorite people.
Speaker 5So yeah, I'm not saying tiktok is like a bad thing, whatever it has like it's. It's funny days, but I guess I really enjoy like tagging and like sending my friends like TikToks that I find on my freebie page.
Teenage Views on Social Media
Speaker 2That's like so relatable in a weird way sometimes, but it's I like it so it can really be helpful, then, for you know, reaching out and finding new people or connecting with the people that are already in your life. Is this a sort of standard method of communication, you would say?
Speaker 6um, not really. I mean obviously like it's a good place to communicate with other people, but I don't know, most of my communication now just happens over like messages and stuff. So I don't know. Yeah, I mean, meeting people is definitely a great way, like it's definitely a great place, like social media is definitely a great place to meet people. But also meeting people like outside of like, just like in general, it's a good place too. But I think I find myself more comfortable meeting people over social media because, I don't know, I feel like I feel like I'm more myself, I guess, when I'm talking to people over the phone, because I can get really awkward in person.
Speaker 5So yeah, I totally agree with you on that. I feel like I'm really my true self like over the screen, like more authentic in a way. Like I find myself like being awkward or like not as sociable and like kind of stuttering a lot in person, so I kind of prefer like over phone better too there's definitely this sense of maybe emotional risk when we are talking to somebody new in person and you guys have mentioned that maybe talking over the phone or texting is a bit easier for you.
Speaker 2Do you feel like social media or texting is maybe helping your in-person communication, harming it, or does it feel very neutral?
Speaker 5I mean I really enjoy texting people like a lot more than meeting them in person. But I feel like at the same time it does like kind of affect like what I wanted to say like in person or anything like that, because I would still be kind of stuttering in like some sentences or like forget what I say or like forget to match what I say. Like sometimes my words don't even match up because of how like nervous I get sometimes around like certain people yeah, for me too.
Speaker 6I think it kind of does affect my in-person ways with my like with just people I've never really met before. Um, I would say I'm very socially awkward when I meet new people or just like talk to them in person.
Speaker 6I also just have really bad social anxiety, so like I don't really do good with meeting people or talking to people really me too so I feel like social media and talking to people over social media is very like a way for someone to feel comfortable without having to show exactly who they are, obviously still having that like realness of you. I just feel like social media kind of lets you hide behind like a like an easy, like fake hate kind of, while still being real at the same time so there's a little bit.
Speaker 2on the one hand, it's easier, you can be a little bit more yourself, while on the other hand, you're still maybe using a bit of a you know protective mask when you're interacting with new people online.
Speaker 6Yeah, so I don't know, I feel like meeting people in person is kind of more scary.
Speaker 6I guess, Like if you don't really like know a person and they're just like saying hi to you or whatever it can be really like nerve-wracking and stuff. But for me, honestly, like when I meet people over social media, I'm like really excited to meet them or really like happy that I'm getting to talk to somebody new, while when I'm in person I just get really nervous and shut down, really socially awkward to the point where, like I just can't say anything at all.
Speaker 2So something then is it's maybe a little bit less risky, a little bit less intimidating to talk to people online. Yeah, bit less risky, a little bit less intimidating to talk to people online. Yeah, some adults probably have a lot of concerns about the people that you are meeting online.
Speaker 6Yeah, they definitely do. Um, I would say for my parents, like, although my parents like really like care what I'm doing with my time, they still try to make me feel um, or they still try to let me know that some people on the internet are fake and some people hide behind a person that's not really them. Like I can't tell you how many times I've been like catfished, as they call it, on social media by someone who's not exactly who they say they are. And then there's other times where, like I don't know where, they just taught me to be aware of what I'm watching or what I'm looking at or whatever, because sometimes it can be dangerous and stuff.
Speaker 2So, what are some of the things that you feel like you do online to stay safe that way, and how do you recognize when somebody is maybe being a more authentic or real person and when they're not?
Speaker 6um, I think what I do to keep myself safe is most of my accounts and stuff are private, so you can't really look me up without having to request to follow me so I'll be able to tell, like, who I should let follow me and who I should not. Um, I think the one way to kind of tell who's real and who's not I don't know if this is like a weird thing, but like if someone on TikTok, for instance, has like a like a no profile account, has like like zero followers, like I don't know followers, not really a big deal, but like if they're just not like I don't know you kind of?
Speaker 6get what I'm saying. I do yeah so like I don't know, but I guess most of the time how you tell someone who's not who they are is kind of I don't know.
Speaker 5Yeah, they're the most things. Like most of my social media is like pretty private and like I wouldn't really be following like people back that I don't know. I kind of would view their profile to like see who they are first for like a shield of like protection or some sort kind of like that yeah.
Speaker 6Oh, also another way to kind of tell if a person's not safe or not has good intentions is if they come off as weird. You can meet people and they'll be really nice, and there's those off people who you meet who are just really creepy and weird and who will ask you weird questions or ask you to do weird things. You just know that they're not who they said they are or they don't really have good intentions with you. So it's definitely one good thing to look out for.
Speaker 2What do you kind of feel, then, that adults don't understand about what maybe teenage life is like on the internet?
Speaker 5I guess, well, some parents that like I surround myself with don't realize how social media is like nowadays, because I guess you would like be see me like seeing scams everywhere and like I guess, like some of my family members, wouldn't like be really aware of it because like they see somebody on an ad like get like ten thousand dollars or something, and like they would believe it. An ad like get like ten thousand dollars or something, and like they would believe it instantly. I guess that self-awareness is like not really there on like the internet and like would kind of fall for most things they like see and believe it.
Navigating Social Media and Mental Health
Speaker 6I think the one thing that parents don't understand about teenagers is that our world nowadays has kind of come to a point where people are basically surrounded by technology. So you can't really stop somebody from having access to the internet because it's pretty easy to be able to go online and search something up, because we're literally like surrounded by technology every day. And I think it's very different for them when they were children, because they didn't really have that. And parents are always saying like, oh, when I was a kid I didn't have this. But it's also we're in a completely different generation, so obviously we wouldn't have the same things that you would have, and I don't think they really understand just how like entertained we can get. Obviously I know it's kind of a bad idea to kind of just like get your source of happiness from social media, but sometimes it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes it's a good thing because at least you know your child is being okay and being safe and like having a good time. So I don't know.
Speaker 2I think that that is something that has kind of come out through this conversation. A lot is that there are maybe these darker areas of social media and the internet and that is detrimental to our mental health. Maybe they're not portraying mental health the way that it needs to be portrayed and that can be really harmful to people in real life.
Speaker 2But we also see a lot of positive sides to it as well, right, there is that happiness that can come from it and these communities you can find on there. Sometimes it makes communication with our friends a little bit easier.
Speaker 6Yeah, I think it definitely does help with like social cues a little bit and like sometimes it can help with people being able to interact with other people. Like I don't know some people, like people wouldn't really be able to meet other people in different parts of the world or different parts of your state or province or whatever, without the help of social media, because it's not like you can travel anywhere every single day and meet new people. Obviously you would have to do a little bit of searching for that, and I think social media does give us that little bit of an advance to be able to search for people like that, whereas if you didn't have a phone, you'd kind of have to go out every like day-to-day searching for people to want to talk to you or you wanted to talk to them.
Speaker 2So I think social media does a great way of being able to help us look for other people how do you feel that maybe someplace like your schools, which you guys mentioned, were a huge support for you? How might our schools be able to sort of help facilitate maybe better or safer online interactions?
Speaker 6um, I don't know if this is like a like a different thing, but I know, for my school at least, our internet that we use it has like a blocking thing where like it can block certain sites or like block certain content from being able to view it. So I think that's definitely like a good way at being able to stop some bad consumption of social media. But obviously kids have found like a way to bypass that by using like things like vpns and stuff like that.
Speaker 5And I'm not meaning to call people out or get them in trouble, but yeah so you guys are very resourceful, very smart yeah, yeah, I mean I would see some of the games that like some of like the staff or like teachers would like block out too, and would notice that like some kids would use vpns as well for it. But I don't think it's like anything bad like why the school like blocks those, like certain type of games. It's like really like trying to keep like everybody safe, like in a more appropriate environment, if you know what I mean yeah.
Speaker 6I think too, um, I don't really think like for kids, like obviously, like we go to school to learn and obviously like while we're at school, for those six or seven hours, like teachers are responsible for us. But also too, I think kids are kind of responsible for their own consumption of social media and like videos and stuff, but also too like I still think they should be safe with what they're watching, and obviously there is some stuff that kids should not be viewing. But I know teachers and staff and like administrators, they can't really go above and beyond to kind of help students be safe. I think it's kind of the kids initiative to kind of make themselves safe, but too also I think teachers do a good job of trying to make sure that kids are safe every day so for the time being, you really feel like they're doing everything that they can.
Speaker 2If we maybe shift our focus over to the social media platforms themselves, what do you think they could be doing to better support or better represent mental health?
Speaker 6um, I think one thing it's, I think, on social media, especially like TikTok, it's one thing to I think, yeah, it's one thing to promote or not promote, but it's one thing to spread awareness of mental health, but it's also another thing from for social media to trigger someone's mental health. Like I think sometimes people kind of get carried away with posting things that are a little too personal, that I think they don't really realize how other people may feel like some people could post like a self-harm thing and some people other people on social media could view that while they're still healing and kind of see that and kind of go back into like a dark place. And I think social media should kind of take that into initiative and censor some things or make things more like, make things be able for be able to have for everyone to view and not have people kind of be triggered or be harmed looking at social media, be triggered or be harmed.
Speaker 5Looking at social media.
Speaker 2Yeah, took my words and, like, said it yourself. So something you know, we kind of noticed, is that there are these maybe triggering things you see on social media. There are also some other you know that could be triggering, as in you see something that might be detrimental to your healing journey, maybe something that reminds you of a past experience you had, and sometimes that trigger can just be seeing this fake version of life and that maybe gives you a sense of loss in your own life or feeling that something is missing. How do you sort of counteract these negative consequences of social media? How do you cope with some of these challenges that you come across?
Speaker 6How do you cope with some of these challenges that you come across?
Speaker 6I think sometimes I can get so worked up about it that I kind of just forget my life and I kind of worry about other people's lives.
Speaker 6But I think more so lately I have been like, if I see something that's like triggering or something that doesn't really help me in any way or something that like doesn't really help me in any way, I kind of put my phone down and have to like remind myself that like okay, this is not you, this is not your life, like you are doing the best you can and you should focus on that and not focus on other people and what they're doing in their life.
Speaker 6I think being able to take into account of just how you're doing I think is better than taking into account how you and someone else is doing and have to worry about both of you guys, I think. I think it's the most important part of healing, and being able to say you're okay is kind of being able to look after yourself before you look after other people, and I think seeing something like that on social media or coming across something like that, you kind of have to remind yourself that this is not your life and this is not your reality, and that, yes, it may be harmful to that person that they're going through that, but also, too, it's okay to want to heal for yourself and not heal for other people yeah, I totally agree with like the first bit.
Speaker 5a little bit, um, it kind of takes me like some time to like snap back into reality, like after creating like some fake fantasy, after seeing something online, um, but I guess sometimes I would like see myself like falling into it and like deluding inside of it. There's no escape, or something that's happened a couple of times. A repeating cycle over and over again.
Speaker 6Yeah, yeah, that's actually a good point too. Um, yeah, that's actually a good point too, Like I think. I think sometimes people I don't know obviously like a part of healing is also falling back into like something that's harmful to you. I think no one's, I think no one's healing journey is perfect. I think everyone has their moments where they're on their healing journey and something happens and they snap back into what they were before and all that really matters is just how you're making sure that you're doing the best that you can, and sometimes not doing the best you can is okay too.
Speaker 6Like I don't doing, I don't doing, I don't know. Like I never really blame someone for how they're coping with things, because if it's working for them, then that's great and I'm glad that you're doing that. So I don't know, I just think people should do things how they want to do them, instead of looking at other people and thinking, oh, I should do this how I'm how they do it. I think people should kind of do their own thing. You know, I don't know, I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah, so too healing is definitely never a linear pattern.
Speaker 2Right, it can be a little bit cyclical, sometimes it goes up, sometimes it goes down, and we all sort of find different ways of coping and helping ourselves yeah, yeah I would say I, I don't know.
Speaker 6I remember this thing that's happened to me this past year where, like I did something and someone was like oh, like you need to change your coping mechanisms. Like that's not like good and like that's just like wrong and I don't know. Sometimes I have to take a look at and kind of see, like are these coping mechanisms healthy? And like, are they benefiting me? And sometimes it may not be, but also I think too, like if it's helping me, then maybe it's not so bad too, but also if, if it is like affecting me really wrong, then maybe I should try to find a way to help me do anything.
Speaker 2There are definitely a number of healthy and maybe a number of unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist healthy and maybe a number of unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist and that really gets back into what we were saying a bit earlier about how our brains are made for survival.
Speaker 2so whatever has worked for us in the past, we're probably going to keep doing it yeah so we're talking a little bit about how there's lots of different coping mechanisms and you've got to find the ones that work for you and the ones that are helping you Right and not also harming you at the same time. Anything else that you want to say about you know, having social media, how that's helping your journey, how that's not helping your journey, or anything else about mental health um, I don't know.
Speaker 6Um, I think like I can't really say because I'm obviously still dealing with things every day and I'm still kind of going through things, and like I can't really say like exactly that I'm done healing, because obviously it's I still have a really long journey ahead of me. But I think the one thing I can say is like, um, it definitely depends on, like, what you're kind of searching for within like social media and stuff that like I don't know. It kind of just depends like I don't know. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 2social media is something that we know isn't really going away anytime soon, right, and so sometimes we have to find those positives in it, yeah, and also find the ways that we can use it to help our journey, and remember to put those boundaries in place when it's not helping our journey yeah, I think it's definitely better, like even in, even in anything in general, like it doesn't even have to be just social media.
Speaker 6I think, if in anything, if you find the little bit more positives than negatives, it's more easy to kind of overlap those positives over the negatives to kind of make your experience or like your journey in life a bit easier. And I think once you kind of find like your ground and your pace and like your purpose in life or whatever the case may be, it's easier to kind of go along with life when you kind of know exactly what you're trying to do or how to do it, and you don't even have to have like an idea of what you want to do in life. Like, as long as you have the right people or like the right mindset or like even like the right thing in your life, I think it's definitely easier to kind of conquer and overpower those negatives that you see every day so I think that was really well said, very, very wise as well.
Speaker 2Before we wrap up here, is there anything else that you feel like was left unsaid from today that you'd like to put out?
Speaker 6there. I think the one thing I would like to say is not even about me. It's about, like other people. Um, I think if you see or if you notice, or even if you're going through something, it's definitely the right thing to reach out to people, because if you're in a state of crisis or you're in a bad mental state, or even if you see somebody else in a bad place, I think it's definitely the right thing to reach out or to even ask that person if they're okay, or even to ask yourself if you're okay, because it's definitely really easy to kind of get wrapped up in such hard times where you don't really you don't really see or find a purpose to kind of get out of that. So I think if you really talk to somebody or try to connect to somebody else, or try to connect to somebody else for another person, I think you'll definitely be a good help to people or yourself. So definitely reach out if you're going through something for sure.
Speaker 2Well, thank you guys, both for being here and sharing everything today. That kind of wraps up our podcast for today. So thank you all, to those who are listening, and we will see you for our next episode.
Speaker 7Okay, folks, did you hear all that? That was a lot. I'd like to thank our two youth that participated. Let's all try to listen more. This podcast is brought to you by Huddle South Central. We're here for youth. If you would like more information about Huddle, please go to huddlemanitobaca, find the location nearest to you and give us a call. This podcast was recorded at the Idea Mill in the Millennium Library, winnipeg, manitoba.