Grief, Grit, and Game Days: Kate Pettersen’s Story

What happens when life shatters in an instant—twice? 

Sports broadcaster Kate Pettersen joins Emily for an emotional conversation about losing both of her parents just months apart and how grief shaped her journey.

From the sudden passing of her father to her mother’s eight-year battle with cancer, Kate shares the raw realities of loss, resilience, and finding purpose. 

She opens up about chasing her dreams in sports media, the highs and lows of the industry, and the way grief never truly leaves you. 

Listen For:

10:00 – Grieving While Facing Another Loss

17:40 – Who Shows Up After the Funeral?

38:32 – Turning Grief into Passion

55:05 – “You Only Live Once” is More Than a Catchphrase

GUEST: KATE PETTERSEN

Instagram | Website 

 CONTACT EMILY:

Instagram | Website 

Transcript

Emily Cave Boit (00:00:00):

Hi everyone. Welcome back to episode nine of You Are More with Emily Cave Boit. So excited to have you guys hear this special guest story. Kate, we have always kind of had our past crossing, whether it was when I was working at Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation in Toronto to meeting when she was working with the Oilers, when Colby played here, to now just following her journey as a broadcaster and kind of relating on life and grief and the experiences that life can throw at you. So she's got an incredible story and I'm so excited for you guys to hear it. So here we go. Hello, how are you doing? Welcome from Nashville, Kate

Kate Pettersen (00:00:55):

I am so good. I'm so excited for this.

Emily Cave Boit (00:01:01):

Well, thanks for coming on. I know you're busy kind of traveling and working, so I'm excited to have this conversation with you and yeah, hear more about your story because it's a pretty incredible one and I just find it cool with me and how we've always somehow been connected even before we officially met me working at Princess Margaret. Your mom was at Princess Margaret, then you came to the Oilers, Colby was at the Oilers then you were amazing and so supportive after Colby passed away and now following your journey wherever it's taking you, whatever hockey rink, whatever sport has been really, really cool to watch. So yeah, tell us a little bit more about your story, your amazing parents, and what got you here today.

Kate Pettersen (00:01:48):

Well, it's pretty crazy because I truly had such a blessed upbringing with two amazing parents, Sims. I do have a little sister and we just did everything. We were very athletic, we were very involved in sports. My dad was a former professional football player and my mom worked in fashion and he retired before I was born, but then he retired into the broadcast booth. So that's sort of like the starting point of what became my career and just the support system that I had growing up was very heavily involved in sports. We were always participating in everything and my parents were right there with me. So I guess just to touch briefly on the story with them was just that in 2008, sort of our normal, what you would call cookie cutter, pretty privileged life. I was living a really great life with a great family. My dad had some chest pain and he was at a dinner party and everyone had said, go to the hospital, they'll take you right in. If you're saying something about your heart, you don't wait. And we all know in Canada sometimes the benefit is free healthcare and the negative is how long you wait.

(00:03:09):

So he was really stubborn and he just said, no, no, no, I'm not going. And he booked an appointment with the heart specialist and I remember I was out at a dinner with my girlfriends on the Sunday night and he came to pick me up or he was dropping me off and as he was driving we were going to make a turn and he was like, just give me a little advanced notice. And I was like, what? So weird. And he was like, I just don't startle me

(00:03:39):

Anyway. So I was like, oh yeah, okay, we're turning in two blocks. He dropped me off. I spent the night at my friends and then the next day I went home for a family dinner and I didn't know that that would be our last family dinner as a group of four, he booked an appointment to see the heart specialist and he never made it. He died the night before and at that time we were living separate. During the week he would go down to the city. We were up north at our ski chalet slash summer where we spent most of our summers. And so I got home from work that night and I just remember my mom being like, did I talk to your dad yesterday or today when the days blur? And you're like, was that yesterday or was that two days ago?

(00:04:28):

Anyway, so we got on the phone, we tried calling him no answer. His best friend owned a restaurant and he would always go down there when he was by himself and just have dinner at the bar with Bruno. So I called Bruno and we realized it was his regular date night with his wife, so would be out of character for my dad to be there, but I think Bruno got the sense that something was wrong. So he packed up from date night and went to the house to check. In the meantime, we had a neighbor go over and check and the alarm was on, which meant his usual routine, go down, put the alarm on, go back upstairs, go to bed. So that was the first point where we were like uhoh wrong. And at the time we didn't have call waiting. So when I called his friend back and the lion was busy, I was sitting on the couch with my mom and that's when I was something bad's happened.

(00:05:26):

It didn't go through. He had to be on the phone with nine one one was not good. My dad 57, former professional athlete, super healthy by all accounts dropped dead of a sudden heart attack at that point. I mean it's all a blur as you know when it happens now I think back to little details, but in the moment I was like, what is happening? My sister was 17, I was 21 and now my mom was alone with the two of us. And yeah, we went down to the city, we went through it all. And again, just the weeks by and it was like how did you go from perfect, loving, healthy family to just how at 57, someone who's still healthy and a former athlete just drops dead. And from a relationship perspective, my dad was my best friend and I'm very similar to him. So that was really, it was a lot.

(00:06:38):

And still we can get into the aftermath and sort of how that affects you, but then we're still really, and six months later, he died in at the end of July. And so I went back to school close to the end of August. My sister went into her first year of university by herself three weeks after my dad died. Fast forward six months and I got a call from my mom and I don't even think, I really definitely didn't understand in the moment, but she was like, Hey. So I went in for a checkup and they found a tumor and it's really not a big deal, but if you could move your exams up and write them early and come home, that would be really helpful. And I'm like, of course my mom downplaying, they found a massive tumor, stage four ovarian cancer, and this is six months after my dad just dropped it. They gave her two months to live. So she'd been having some back pain, little symptoms, but we write it off, you get a headache. Oh, it's stress. It's so easy to write off so many of those

Emily Cave Boit (00:07:56):

Symptoms probably too because you guys were in the thick of grief as well. I feel like there's so many symptoms that you're like it's just grief or you kind of tune it out and push it away because you're still in such a state of shock of what you guys were going through with your dad

Kate Pettersen (00:08:15):

As well. Yeah, and you've talked about it like loss of appetite and then you're losing weight and you're so overwhelmed by all of these feelings and also all the things you have to do because if you're not expecting someone to die, there's a lot of exactly what I'm talking about, all the crap that you're like, I'm dealing with this major loss, but I also have to figure out how to unlock this bank account

Emily Cave Boit (00:08:45):

Desk duties

Kate Pettersen (00:08:47):

That are horrible. Do I need to deal with more of this crap?

(00:08:51):

I need a timeout universe. So yeah, so it was just like, whoa. And my mom really downplayed it because she had to, as a mom, you're looking out for your girls. And as soon as I got home after writing those exams, which everyone at Queens was amazing, I was like, oh, this is bad. And my sister was finishing up university, so we had to hide it from her for a couple of weeks. My mom was like, we can't take anymore. We just have to let her finish. She's a baby. Finish first year and then come home. And my mom's surgery was almost seven hours. So as you know, princess Margaret is one of the most top five cancer research hospital, unbelievable facility. So we were always in the best hands. But the outlook from the start when you're stage four to begin with, it's pretty bleak.

(00:10:00):

And so she had the surgery and she was given two months to live. And when I tell you that my mom, am I allowed to say a bad word? My mom was so badass, so badass. The best way to capture that if you haven't met her, you didn't get the chance was she was given two months and she lived eight and a half years. You don't do that unless you are just wired a different way. She did every clinical trial and she battled. She was just a fighter and very different to lose someone suddenly. And then to have that time because people always ask me what was worse, what was better? I mean, I'm losing my parents. You can't compare No, your mom or your dad losing your mom or dad. No, but I will say that despite the end being horrific and us looking back now and kind of laughing at some of the scary nights year one or when she was rushed to emerge year four, we're laughing now because we were like, oh my gosh, that small, that was nothing. And we were freaking out in the moment, is this goodbye?

(00:11:21):

The last two weeks were absolutely horrific but mixed in there. There were so many beautiful moments and some of them were ugly, beautiful that were laughing because her body was shutting down. She was dying in front of us, but we were making the most of it. And I mean, I'll give you one example. She was determined and she didn't want to give up her independence yet. She was an extreme fall. So where my sister and I quit my job, I moved home for four months to take care of her. And I remember getting this text from my sister we're in the same house, she's like, where are you? And I'm like, mom's going to the bathroom. But the problem was she was so weak that she'd just fall asleep. So she'd wheel in on her walker and then be sitting there trying to go to the bathroom and then she'd just fall asleep. So then it's her world, we're doing anything she

(00:12:25):

Asked.

(00:12:26):

So then I'm sitting on the floor in the bathroom on my phone while my mom sleeps. So there was that, or when she needed a bath, she was so thin that she was always so cold. So it would be like now I need a shower and yet a steam shower. So I'd be in there, we called them elephant baths, I would be in there in full sweatpants, dripping sweat, but I didn't have time to put anything on to take her into the shower. So I'm like, yep, we're going in the shower. And so I'm in this full sweat here just dripping, but it's your mom, you just do it. So we laugh at stuff like that. We're like, it was an absolute shit show. But those are the, we got all that time and we got to say the things. And while I got bad pretty quickly at the end, I had a notebook and I got as much as I could given her lack of strength, but recipes. How did you and dad meet when you were pregnant? What made you sick? All of those little things. Just so I had as much as I could, I was kind of scrambling. Which is

Emily Cave Boit (00:13:38):

Totally different than your dad.

Kate Pettersen (00:13:40):

Exactly. I never got to say. And I dwell on it and I don't know, I would assume that you probably have some of these things too, but we had a fight the week before. I wouldn't even call it a fight, but he was playing in a golf tournament and they were doing a warmup round and it was boys only. And my dad had said, well, I'll see if you can come and play with me. I was so excited. And then he was like, Hey, I'm so sorry, but the boys say Jess boys. And I was so mad. And that was a week before what small potatoes. But I look back and I'm like, God, I wish I wasn't mad about that. That was not. And I

Emily Cave Boit (00:14:23):

Feel

(00:14:25):

It reminds you now too in little moments. Even now when I'm feeling frustrated or whatever, I'm like, if something were to happen five seconds after, is it going to matter or if something, and it's really changed the way that I think now live forward because like you said, it's so small potatoes when life's tragedies hit you. So yeah, I can totally imagine or not, I truly can't imagine experiencing both and in the span of such a short period of time. Yeah, anytime I hear your story, I give you so much credit and I wish I didn't have to give you credit or be like, I hate when people are like, you're so strong. It's a club you don't want to be in. I feel like when you've been through it too, you're like, I know this sounds cliche, but I'm so sorry. It's such a interesting dynamic.

(00:15:31):

But I think what's been really cool, as I kind of talked about in the beginning, how both of our grief have kind of intertwined and how I remember Keith Clark, he was my boss at Princess Margaret, and I remember him talking about you and your mom and then how we both ended up in Edmonton and I was literally just watching the other day and I start crying thinking about it. You sent me this video of Colby when you were reporting and he's giving the kid a puck or a stick and just how both of our griefs have intertwined. Very, very different, all three of them. But like I said in the beginning, you can't compare anyone's grief, whether it's a parent, whether it's a spouse, whether it's a child, whether it's seven or whether it's terminal, it's all just so horrible. But I do find the people that have, and I don't know if you've experienced it, but the people that have gone through grief just get it. And you don't wish grief or bad on anyone and everyone's time will come, but I feel like when someone else has gone through some type of trauma or grief, you kind of just get it. That's the

Kate Pettersen (00:16:47):

Only really way to say it. You know what, Phil, it's funny. I saw you post about reading Mel Robbins and I am working on that too, and I should be good at it at the them at letting it go because exactly what you're saying, it's so light, short, hard, and it really does. Totally, totally easier said than that. I'm like, I read this book, I'm fixed. But it alters your perspective and I really do agree that you don't wish it on anyone obviously. But I think some people cruise through life without really experiencing

(00:17:26):

That

(00:17:26):

And they don't have the same understanding, the same deep rooted compassion, and they just don't get it. And it's not a fault of their own.

Emily Cave Boit (00:17:40):

I always say you can't fault someone for not going through trauma.

Kate Pettersen (00:17:44):

No, but you also, they just don't get it. It's take it for what it is. And I think I learned so much through all of it. And even with my mom, there was, and I'm not going to name who the person is, but there was a friend who for those four months was a friend from this key club and kept being like, come to Apre Ski, come to Apre Ski. And I was like, I have to feed my mom. I have to hook her up because she's being fed through a tube. I cannot come to Apre Ski, but I'm three minutes down the road. So you come by anytime and if my mom's not up for a visit, we'll just close the door and hang out in the living room. But if she is, she'd love to see you. That friend never came over.

(00:18:33):

And when the funeral happened, we had a monster of, by the way, my mom planned her entire funeral down to the menu. So my sister and I emceed, and that was our opening joke was if you've got an issue with the menu, you can take it up with her. So that was how we led. But that same friend who couldn't come down the street to the house when they were up every weekend at the ski resort, that same friend was right there with a bottle of champagne ready to party after the funeral. And I thought you just learn to say, okay, Fairweather friend, compartmentalize because I was so hurt, but I can't dwell on it. She just didn't get

Emily Cave Boit (00:19:20):

It. And I think you nailed it there I think at the beginning. And there's so much, it's like this doesn't sound so horrible, but the hot attraction, right? It's the hot news at the time when someone passes away and everyone comes in and everyone whatever, and over the years you see who was true and who was genuine because once the funeral has stopped, once shit really hits the fan with grief, let's get real. In the beginning you were in such shock once the six months, once the year, those who still show up, those are your people. And I feel like, yeah, I can only imagine how hurtful that was. I mean, I had a few of those people and still to this day, but then there was people that like you, I remember we were in the NHL bubble and I was in the building and you wrote me a letter and I still have that letter and the box of all the letters and cards that I received at the time.

(00:20:24):

And people that did things like that, not just a quick retweet or show up to a funeral or a repost or a quick, I'm so sorry for your loss and then moves on, I think, and I don't know about you, but over the years as grief has evolved or changed or you accept things, however you want to word it, I feel like in the beginning I was really, really angry when people would act like that. I'm like, how dare you? And then now I feel like I've just unfortunately accepted it. I mean there's still times where I'm like, holy bro. I'm like, that is why I'm reading that book. But yeah, it's interesting how grief, I hate this saying, time heals all, you're never healed. But it's interesting how with time your grief does change, but it's always in waves, it's always different emotions, there's always sadness and anger and then there's calm, and then there's understanding and accepting. It always changes. But I do say over time, I don't, I want to murder people for the reaction around grief.

Kate Pettersen (00:21:45):

And I think it's funny about relationships. I had a girlfriend who I'm very close with, but she doesn't have a great relationship with her mom. Both her parents are alive. And we had a rocky friendship until I finally just said, Hey, look, I get it. You and your mom don't get along. But if you could just be a little aware of me being around because I would leave dinners and go home and cry.

(00:22:12):

And I remember being at Queens, it was right after my dad died and God bless my roommates because they were my life. I was living in a house with these girls. Thankfully they had met my dad in the spring before we went into our fourth year new roommates. But I remember being at a bar and it was a live music thing, and my friend's mom was in town and they had a nasty divorce and they were sitting there bashing the dad and the mom and the two brothers were bashing the dad. And I was sitting at the table just being like, my dad literally just dropped dead, read the room, but many people aren't aware. So I just went to the bathroom and I was sobbing and my roommates came and kidnapped me out of the bathroom. I was like, I can't be seen. I can't walk back through the bar by myself. I was sobbing in a bathroom stall and they came and got me and it was just like that was so triggering. It's like so many people need to read

Emily Cave Boit (00:23:17):

The room A around you

Kate Pettersen (00:23:19):

Have dad, he might be shitty, but you have one.

(00:23:22):

And that's what's so hard too. I think that people underestimate that extra layer of grief of relationships and what other people are dealing with. And there's so much. My sister was in a terrible relationship and thank God she called off her wedding because now she's married to just a kind and wonderful person. But I understand why it took so long after my mom died for her to get to that point because I think deep down she felt that it wasn't right for so long. But I think about it now, she's married I, I'm not, but her husband never got to meet my mom or my dad. So I think she hung on a little longer than she should have because he at least knew our mom. And the reality is that unless I marry a childhood friend now, they're never going to know my parents. And that's such a big, especially when we had the childhood we had where we were so tight, that's really hard. So obviously there's the loss and the major, whatever you want to call it, chunk of grief. But I think what people who haven't been through the secondary losses, how many layers there are and how many, I look at a plant and I'm like, oh, my mom would've loved that. Or I'm walking down the street and it's a sunny day and a cute dog walks by and I'm like, God, I wish my mom was here.

(00:24:52):

I don't think people, until you've experienced it, you don't get it.

(00:24:57):

You

(00:24:57):

Really don't. And I also don't know that people feel different ways. And I think if you're someone like me and just from what I know about you, when you're really empathetic and passionate and compassionate, you just feel all these feels. And it's like 24 7.

Emily Cave Boit (00:25:16):

I remember, I'm going to start crying, talking bit. I remember, I

Kate Pettersen (00:25:20):

Mean I've cried three times already. So

Emily Cave Boit (00:25:22):

When I left Nashville, so in April when I left Nashville and I was moving to the States and it was my bachelorette weekend, and when I say I sobbed that whole flight, I saw that whole flight because I knew I wasn't going to be allowed back in the States. And I still dunno how long, which brings a lot of trauma. If something happens, I can't get back in. But flying and leaving behind just Colby's ashes or all his jerseys that are not okay here in California, and then I was flying into, I felt like the Bachelorette is, I tried to be so happy and excited and there was a post Colby game and a pre Colby group kind of there. And I think the pre Colby group was really good at being like, this is a lot. You're moving out of your country, you're marrying again, it's also your birthday, the Colby and everything. And I remember I just saw you in the airport talk about the stars aligning. Exactly. And you just gave me a hug and I just cried in the Uber and I was teary eyed with you because I was like, you have no, I needed that when I landed, I needed someone that had experienced grief that knows how heavy it was to land, even though it was a positive weekend, that was like, Hey, even though this is positive and everything's good and all of that, it's okay to still feel heavy. And I think that's

(00:27:06):

The hardest part about people that haven't been to grief or if you've been through grief or you're like me or you, is yes, there's so many positives and there's so many cool moments and we'll talk about your career here shortly that you're like, this is so cool. But at the same time, it's like the trauma that got me here, a lot of people don't see, but you feel 24 7 every day for the rest of your life. A lot of people just see, oh, you have this cool reporter job or Oh, I've married again and everything must be great, but 24 7, 365 days a week, we remember the trauma that got us there and we feel the trauma and the loss that got us there.

Kate Pettersen (00:27:55):

Yeah, I mean, I play a lot of golf. I love golf, but I learned to golf with my dad. So sometimes I'll just be on the golf course, I'm doing something I love, it's my day off. And I'm sad because I'm like, oh, I hit a great shot. And I'm like, wow, he would've loved that one. Or with my mom and how involved I am with the horses, I think of her all the time. She was the one that got me into horses. And I will tell you, my mom before she died gave me the best gift. It's like poor guy who I ever end up with because there's like even my sister, there's no shot at beating this gift in my lifetime. And I think life is a little bit different now because we have phones, so parents are recording their kids all the time. But from before I was born, my mom kept a journal and I never knew about it. And the last Christmas before she died, she gave it to us, this book that she had made. So she had a friend's kid, kind of like an internship. She paid her to transcribe every single journal entry.

(00:29:05):

So I know my first word, I know the day I said it, I know the first food I ate my first steps, all of these things that I can't ask her about now.

(00:29:18):

And she gave me this book, and the first time I read it, I read the whole thing straight through and just stopped for hours. And I keep it and I go back to it. But it was just amazing to have that. I knew I rode a horse before I was even one. She put me in front of her on the saddle and I love water and I loved back then, and I'm always in the pool, she called me a little fish. Things like that are so amazing. So I think kids now moving forward will have those memories because of phones

(00:29:54):

And

(00:29:54):

Being able to flip back and see, oh, that was February 3rd or whatever,

(00:29:58):

But what a priceless, priceless gift for her to give me because now I can look back on all of those things. But with that said, so much of my childhood is what I still love today. And there's an ounce of sadness in everything I do, and it will forever be that way. And some anniversaries I feel weird, and I don't know if you can relate to this, but you just, I'll wake up and I'll just be like, why am I off today or leading up 2:00 PM I'm like, holy crap, it's the 10 year anniversary. Or honestly, sometimes I'll be caught off guard because friends will text me and be thinking of you today. And I'm like, why? Or some years I'm bracing for impact three days before. It is just wild. And I think that's another thing that people underestimate is how it hits when it hits no rhyme or reason. I can just be blindsided.

Emily Cave Boit (00:31:01):

I think that's so true. I feel like everyone thinks it's just the days, just the anniversary days, but sometimes it's just a random day in a grocery store or on the golf course like you said, which is a heartbreaking but beautiful thing at the same time, which you learn to embrace as a part of your grief journey or I have tried to embrace, but sometimes when it hits you're like,

Kate Pettersen (00:31:31):

Like I have my cry songs. If I need to get it out the

Emily Cave Boit (00:31:35):

Car,

Kate Pettersen (00:31:36):

That one will do it. And one of them is Ed Sheeran Supermarket Flowers and it's, it's about losing his mom. And there's a line in there and I'm going to get it wrong, but the concept is the reason you miss someone is because when you feel this way and you grieve like that, it's because you were so loved. And so you mentioned the beauty in it too is how lucky was I to have the time I had with supportive parents who gave me what I think is a great foundation to be a good human and to care about people, other people, strangers, friends, everything. It's like I am who I am today because of them. And even though I feel I was absolutely robbed of much of that time, it's the same for you. You experienced what that kind of love and support of a partner feels like. So not everyone gets that. And so I think the way that you have to look at it a lot of the time is instead of, and don't get me Rob, I have woe is mean moments where like you said, I'm angry at the world because it doesn't seem fair. The two healthy and kind and wonderful people are gone.

(00:32:55):

But I think I go about life with less of a woes me attitude because I had a good chunk of that amazing, supportive, loving and not everyone gets that.

Emily Cave Boit (00:33:13):

Speaking of your dad and being in sports and broadcasting, talk a little bit about what you do now and I feel like that honors your dad and kind of keeps him a little bit with you as well, that much more so tell us a little bit about that.

Kate Pettersen (00:33:30):

Yeah, so I grew up, he was a broadcaster, so his career ended before I was born. So my parents did the wild pro sports life and then they're like, okay, cool, we're done. Let's have kids. And so my mom actually had me at 39 and my sister at 42, so it was a bit later in life and he was hired to the broadcast booth. So he was a color commentator for TSN and CBC for 23 years. And so a lot of my childhood, when I talked about us being best friends, I was a little version of him, but female. So we'd go golfing, I go on road trips with him and be on the sidelines for games. And my worst slash best joke is that it was the popcorn in the press box at the Rogers Center, which was the skydome, which got me hooked. But thankfully I later fell in love with football. So I mean, if you've had it, it's really okay, now I

Emily Cave Boit (00:34:32):

Need to have it.

Kate Pettersen (00:34:33):

But yeah, so the Rogers Center, skydome whatever, it's always going to be the skydome to me. I grew up there, but the popcorn and the press box is elite. But I did fall in love with the game. And so a lot of the time we spent together, whether it was driving up to the cottage from downtown, we'd be listening to the fan five 90, which is this Ford station in Toronto. And when I tried out for Powderpuff, which is the women's flag football in the winter at school, I got cut three times, but I kept trying, but we were out in the backyard running routes and he was helping me. He actually humbled me a little bit and he said, are you sure you want to be a receiver? Maybe you should be a defensive back. And I was like, no, I want to be a receiver like you.

(00:35:19):

And he was like, yeah, see, I think you may be better at batting down the ball. And I was like, okay, cool. Sick. Can't catch. Still can't catch little hands anyway. But that was our relationship and I have so many amazing D friends now and that sort of replicated some of the moments I had with my dad where I could just sit on the couch and no one's explaining the game to me. I'm arguably more well versed in sports than the guys on the couch, but that was our relationship. So when he died, I was going into my fourth year, and at that point I was like, okay, that's, and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was getting a political science degree, which many people do because it's generic and you can kind of go anywhere, you can go to law school, you can do kind of whatever.

(00:36:09):

So I ended up moving all of my electives to be online and turned at the local radio station. And I actually went on, it was ahead of Valentine's Day, and so I was helping the anchor get a date. And when I tell you I have literally no experience, no expertise, I'm qualified, but I'd Google tips for getting a date and then I'd bring them on the show and be like, Matt, you should definitely do this, or girls like this. And that's how I started on the radio, which is outrageous, but I literally took every opportunity I could at that point to get on air to get experience. I did for local cable, the Santa Claus parade. Here we are downtown and Santa's on his way, literally anything because at that point I was about to get a four year degree from a great university. I didn't want to go backwards.

(00:37:11):

So I interned my way into paid work. I was an intern at the 2010 Olympics, which is I suppose at some point my claim to fame because I was live on national television doing dumb things as an intern running around, but it gave me some stuff for my demo reel. And then I was back at Blue Mountain doing the snow report, and then I just built a tape. And I think if I learned anything from my dad, it was work ethic. I got to watch him all those years and the way he over-prepared and the way he was just on his A game getting ready to go and how he took everything so seriously, whether it was commentating or reporting at my equestrian events. Somehow he got in. TSN was doing that and I'm riding my PO and my dad's working the big class and I'm like, Hey dad. But he really did take everything so seriously. And the one line he spoke at a conference at Queens that I was a part of the sports industry conference, and he talked about passion driving performance, and that's something I use every day. If you are passionate about what you're doing, it doesn't feel like work.

(00:38:32):

You're

(00:38:32):

Going to be successful because you're going to work hard because you're so passionate about it. And so I think that's, I've been in situations where there were missed opportunities, bad timing. And when I tell you a career in the sports industry, and you would get this from your side of things, the highs are so high and the lows are so low, low and they happen in a matter of gates. I've been pitching a bunch of stuff and Friday I got three nos. And so I got in the car with my best friend and I was like, I'm grumpy, I'm going to Starbucks and I'm giving myself an hour. And she was laughing at me, but I literally pouted for an hour because I was so upset. I cried a little bit and then I was like, you know what? Next, we're pitching the next stuff and it's Monday and I'm back on the horse and I'm doing my thinning. But hes was upset with us

Emily Cave Boit (00:39:33):

Chester's like

Kate Pettersen (00:39:34):

Chester's my

Emily Cave Boit (00:39:35):

Hype man, get back on the worst passionate about this. Yeah, it's Monday. He was ready to go. No, that's not nice. Chester Chester's not being nice to the other dog outside.

Kate Pettersen (00:39:46):

Oh no, I'll take him as my hype man. But yeah, so I did four years on the CFL sidelines before I got that opportunity with the Edmonton Oilers to be a ringside reporter. And then I think tying in the grief is like you just learn to figure it out. And I mean, I moved across the country, we met very briefly and five months later the world shut down. So I'm like, I just packed up my whole life and moved and then I packed up my whole life and moved back. So I think what I've learned through grief has actually, and it's kind of a nice nod to my parents, has actually helped me just find a way. I am in one of the toughest industries and it is a grind, but I'm determined because this is what I want to be doing on a Saturday night at the rink. It doesn't feel like work.

(00:40:46):

I'm

(00:40:46):

Not thinking, oh, I'm missing this or I'm missing that. I'm where I want to be. A lot of people want to be where I want to be. I'm getting paid to watch sports. That is fricking cool. So it's been just the last few years have just been all over and I was working for Vanderbilt as a host, worked for the Preds, and then I got this incredible opportunity to be with the Vancouver Canucks and to be the face of the team and I dove in. And so I did that for an entire year and it was incredible the experience that I got. We were winning on TV across the country, doing what I loved, but I was so far from my family think that grief gives you a good perspective too, on what's important in life. And in that moment when I took the job, it was so important. That was where I needed to go. And even when my mom was sick, I moved away to Regina to work at Global News and that was all the stepping stones got me into sports and my mom pushed me out the door. She was like, go. And I was like, well, you're sick. I want to be near your home. Go.

(00:41:59):

Okay. So I do think a lot of my decision making, I'm like, what would my mom say? And again, those are the moments where I want to call and I want to ask. And my best friend's mom has stepped up and my mom's girlfriends have stepped up.

Emily Cave Boit (00:42:17):

That's amazing

Kate Pettersen (00:42:18):

To be, I remember when I was in Edmonton, I called my best friend, asked his mom Nancy, and I'm like, I need mom advice. And she's like, get in the car, couple of us pack of yourself. It's just money. I'd signed a lease. And I was like, I'm going to lose all this money. The world's shutting down so many unknowns. So I've been blessed in that regard to just have great people around me and this core group and core people who get it where you don't have to say, this makes me sad. I could just say my mom would've loved this. And there's just an understanding in the room that I'm on fragile in that moment. But yeah, so full circle. Now I'm based in Nashville. My sister came to visit and I introduced her to one of my friends and now they're married. So youre a

Emily Cave Boit (00:43:09):

Matchmaker. You were a matchmaker on the radio

Kate Pettersen (00:43:11):

Back then

Emily Cave Boit (00:43:12):

And then

Kate Pettersen (00:43:13):

Now again, now I guess I didn't even think about that. My career as a matchmaker has actually been quite successful. Add to the resume, you could have your own

Emily Cave Boit (00:43:23):

Show on that.

Kate Pettersen (00:43:24):

Yeah, I could. There you go. Maybe that's my calling, but I'll probably stick to sports. But yeah, so my cousin married a girl from here. They have two beautiful little girls. My sister is here with her husband who I love. I got a brother out of the mix and I know you feel that way about Colin's family as well. So our family has dwindled

(00:43:48):

And now it's in the hopefully growing. It's just sort of the cycle. But I am so, so happy home in Nashville and I'm grinding, I am freelance. It's scary, but it's fun because I can do whatever I want and at the same time that comes with pressure of it's on me to go get those jobs, to be pitching, to be doing my best. But it is really cool to be able to, I was on the ice for game seven of the Stanley Cup final, sorry, Edmonton. But these moments, and they're not a of those moments, whether you see me smiling on Instagram, living the dream, not a second goes by in any of those moments, then I'm not a little bit sad because the only people I want to call and I'll call my sister and cry on the phone with her and be like, God, I just want to call mom and dad. But it's true that those are the people that I want to share it with. And so while my career has been so awesome, there's no question that grief is part of it. It's there. It's there all the time, but I don't think I would be where I am today without being raised for that short time by those two incredible people. And so it's that perspective that I try so hard to have and it is hard sometimes of I have to be thankful and someone always has it worse than

(00:45:26):

You

(00:45:26):

Always, always. People lose their whole families in Longo. It's never the worst. So I always, always try to think I was so lucky. I am so lucky. And yes, I miss them, but I miss them because they were amazing and

Emily Cave Boit (00:45:44):

I couldn't.

Kate Pettersen (00:45:45):

So I try, it's hard.

Emily Cave Boit (00:45:45):

Agree more hard, I feel like. Yeah,

Kate Pettersen (00:45:47):

But I try to keep the balance

Emily Cave Boit (00:45:50):

Because you know how good things are and how incredible they are. Yeah, those moments are so tricky. You said you're so fortunate, but at the same time it's so much to miss too. I made a TikTok about it yesterday and for the past five years, it's been almost five years since Kohler died, every crazy single champion sports game or champion, whatever, the Super Bowl, any big game, I cry. And I don't even know anyone on Philly and I dunno anyone on the Chiefs, but when Philly won, I was starting to tear up because it just is like you were talking about the sports and the high highs and the low, low lows and that sports life, and you just have this moment where I'm so genuinely happy for all those families and wags you want to call them and their kids. But there's a part of me that still stings because Cole didn't get to win a Stanley Cup.

(00:46:57):

So I always say he's my Stanley Cup champion in Hall of Fame in my books. But yeah, it's like in those moments they make you so grateful or appreciate or happy for other people, but at the same time I think it can make you slightly jealous. And I feel like that's a little bit a part of grief as well. And I think just admitting it is like, yeah, there's times that I get jealous that all of our friends are still playing hockey, or I'm sure you get jealous that your friends still have their parents. And I think, yeah, it just kind of comes in with all the emotions that come with grief. But you are doing an incredible job. You are doing an amazing,

Kate Pettersen (00:47:43):

You're walking a tight rope. It's a balancing act. I did think of when you said the championships, I did win a great cup with Toronto and I joked that my dad would be rolling over in his grave because he lost two. And I got on first, but actually one of the most special moments of my career was I was asked to broadcast the gray cup between the RVOs and the St. Peters on the sidelines. And growing up, all the games that I went to, my dad's broadcast partner was Rod Black. And the way things unfold for Gray Cup is like there's one TV team does tv, one TV team does the radio, radio gets bumped down. So I was out of a job, but Calgary didn't have a sideline reporter. So I got called up and my very first hit, it was Rod Black that said, and now let's go down to the sidelines and check in with Kate Patterson. And I was live, and I had to kind of just take a breath for a second because it took me aback. It was my dad's broadcast partner throwing to little me. And then after the game I solved because I thought, holy crap, if my dad was still alive, we could have done a game together.

(00:49:00):

And who knows if that would've been him dying was sort of the kick in the butt to go follow my dream as a reporter and to work in sports. But yeah. Whoa. So yeah, it's wild sports in moments in Nashville. You've been to Nashville half the time. I go to Broadway, I think, oh my god, my dad would've loved this. We did karaoke in our living room. This

Emily Cave Boit (00:49:28):

Is well Nashville. Nashville is where Colby asked to marry me actually. So you have ties, we have all these weird little ties to one another, but looking at my last question for you, looking back on everything, what would be an advice you'd give your younger self or to someone who is currently grieving right now?

Kate Pettersen (00:49:56):

Life is short. I think the biggest thing, my mom always said, don't sweat the small stuff. And I've always said that, but really believing it, living by it, doing it. I'm freelance and I get stressed all the time that I don't have enough lined up, but I could die tomorrow. We could all die tomorrow. We could be on a plane, we could get it by a car. That sounds so morbid, but it's true.

Emily Cave Boit (00:50:23):

It's so true.

Kate Pettersen (00:50:24):

And when you lose someone, so suddenly a young guy that's so healthy, like cold or even my dad who was 57 and a former athlete, you just got to live. Just live your life and if it's something you want to do for your career and it might not be the best paying job or whatever, do it. Do it because you really don't know. And that was my mom's motto, was to live three days for everyone because tomorrow isn't guaranteed for anyone. That's

Emily Cave Boit (00:50:56):

Such a good motto. So

Kate Pettersen (00:50:57):

Pack it in, my friends laugh at me. I'm the activity queen. I jam it until I'm exhausted. I'm crawling into bed at nine o'clock. Just do it. Do the stuff. Don't think less. And I think there's probably been some times in my career where I should have just said, yeah, let's do it. And I was like, oh, well I don't know. No, just do it. Go and do it because life is short. And I think the second thing I would tell myself is don't be afraid to cut people out of your life. That's a good one. And that's what we talked about in the start is I love doing nice things for people and I often do it and I've gotten to a place mentally where I can do something because it makes me feel good, but it's probably not going to be reciprocated by that person. And that's fine. But if you are always the one chasing something, excuse me, asking them to do something, whenever that may be, you've got to be able to say, is this relationship, is this friendship enriching my life? Is this making me a better

(00:52:09):

Person?

(00:52:10):

Because life's too short to be clawing at a friend for the sake of it, let it go. And it's that let them Mel bin says, just let them. You can't control it and life is too short to live like that. You've got to just do the things you want to do and surround yourself with people who enrich your life, who make you happy or make you better and do all the experiences

Emily Cave Boit (00:52:36):

Couldn't. It's crazy how the one we were talking about, you only get one life. I mean, they'll let them book. I am like,

Kate Pettersen (00:52:44):

Oh, I'm drinking the Kool-Aid.

Emily Cave Boit (00:52:46):

I am totally in on it. I feel like, and you know it, you know, have to let it go. But I feel like reading it, I'm like, boo, yeah, this is my

Kate Pettersen (00:53:00):

Good vibe.

Emily Cave Boit (00:53:01):

Fast. I'm like, Mel's my home girl. It's hard to get to that place, but it's so hard. But I feel like when you were also talking about your one life, there's always that cliche saying when you're young and you're like Yolo, you only live once. And I feel like until you have experienced trauma or grief, you do not realize the magnitude in those words. You kind of take it for granted.

Kate Pettersen (00:53:27):

It's a joked phrase, but it's so real and sure we can do it. I go to the fridge for cheese and I'm like, Yolo shouldn't be eating this, but I'm doing it or whatever. But in the big picture, it's so true. I mean, I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad. You didn't get to say a proper goodbye to col and you don't know if that could happen to someone you're very close with tomorrow. It's not just a one and done. It could happen anytime. So I think while grief has been a horrible, I think you and I both have a really good outlook and a really good perspective on life because of the way it's shaped us. Again, it goes back to me trying to find the positive and not in some over the top throw up positive yay life every single day. But the positive is we got to experience that kind of love and friendship and support that not everyone gets. And you have to root your days, especially the bad ones in that we are lucky. We are lucky to have had that and to live like that. And I think it gives you a great perspective and it really is yolo. You only get one crack at this. You don't know how long you're going to have your people and you don't know how long you are going to be around. So make it count.

(00:54:51):

You want to go on the safari, find a way to go on the safari work, the extra job to make the money, take the days off and go because the money's long When you die, the days off are gone. When you die, go do it live.

Emily Cave Boit (00:55:05):

I could not agree more to that.

Kate Pettersen (00:55:06):

Boom. And then listen to Bell Robbins because Queen, she is like,

Emily Cave Boit (00:55:11):

Oh, it's so good. I'm halfway through and I'm like, oh, don't end. I need it pump pumped into my veins. I need it to be a good reminder because I feel like I'm good on the them. I don't know about this with you. I feel like I'm good on the them. If it doesn't involve Colby or my grief or anything like that, it's kind of like if someone makes any comment or judgment towards my grief or Colby, holy crap, I see red and I am so protective. I feel like he's not here to defend himself. And that's so rude. And I've worked on that the past five years. I've really try to be like let them, it is their faults or not their faults for not going through trauma, but I feel like that is when I need to channel my let them the most. So that is what I am

Kate Pettersen (00:56:06):

Working on in 2025.

Emily Cave Boit (00:56:08):

It's taken five years

Kate Pettersen (00:56:09):

And I feel the same way, but it's when someone bashes their parents or talks bad about someone and I'm like, you have them. How can you say that in front of someone who doesn't? But people aren't aware. People don't think when they speak. I've said things before where probably no one noticed, but I felt awful after. So it's situational awareness. Not everyone has it. And yeah, it's so true. It's hard. It's hard. At the end of the day, we are in a club that I don't wish on anyone, period. But there is something to be said for the understanding and the perspective. And the other thing that I deal with a lot in work, and you've dealt with it too, is anyone can write anything from behind the screen.

(00:56:59):

And people, you see the worst of humanity on the internet. It makes me so sad. I read a four page Reddit last week talking shit about me, just saying awful things. Her voice, she's always high. I am like, I'm never high. People can say whatever they want, what facts. She sounds like she smokes a pack a day. I don't smoke. I'm very protective of my voice because it's part of my job. I try not to yell at concerts anymore because I'm saving it. But people can write all these things and they don't know you and they don't know your story and they don't know your relationship and they don't know what you're saying to your therapist behind closed doors. They don't know what you're working through. It just that to me is this whole extra layer to everything is that the accessibility people can be in your living room without knowing you or knowing anything about you. And they can form their own opinions and say, I mean a woman in sports, oh yeah, she's sleeping with that player, or she did this. And I'm like, in what world? There are 32 NHL teams. There are 32 reporters with teams. Do you think I'm going to risk my one job of 32 in North America for this Get out of town. I get use,

Emily Cave Boit (00:58:22):

I get

Kate Pettersen (00:58:22):

It. It's just crap. All of it. And it's hard and life is hard. But I think we both have a better perspective on life for what we've been through. Although I would take my parents back in a second. I feel you on that.

Emily Cave Boit (00:58:40):

I actually always thought about this. One more question. When you were talking, what would be your favorite memory or interaction with Colby? I love hearing it from people that met him.

Kate Pettersen (00:58:52):

I just think it's so wild that I took that video. The

Emily Cave Boit (00:58:58):

Video is

Kate Pettersen (00:58:59):

So

Emily Cave Boit (00:58:59):

Good

Kate Pettersen (00:59:00):

And I think it's so special that I do my thing down below and then I go up to the press box and I just happened to go to get a video this day. That's not something I do every game, which I think is also crazy. And I captured this moment and I

Emily Cave Boit (00:59:22):

Think which showed Colby to his core.

Kate Pettersen (00:59:25):

And that's the thing That's so crazy. That's what I was going to say. It just encompasses him as a person and his character. And what are the odds that I just happen to be rolling. I'm not a camera person. I'm not on the bench for warmups. And also too that I had just met you, so I knew you and I remember Chester was a puppy and you were like, you should come over and hang out with my dog. And then Covid hit and boom. But I think,

Emily Cave Boit (00:59:55):

Yeah, just the

Kate Pettersen (00:59:56):

Craziness

Emily Cave Boit (00:59:56):

Of

Kate Pettersen (00:59:57):

Keith Clark

Emily Cave Boit (00:59:57):

Would be so proud of us. Where is Keith Clark now?

Kate Pettersen (01:00:00):

Keith Clark. Look at Girls Go. But I think that everyone's going to Craziness Doing

Emily Cave Boit (01:00:07):

Who Are LinkedIn? In

Kate Pettersen (01:00:09):

LinkedIn in email. Send him a note, Keith Clark. But yeah, I think that moment just in, I learned so much more about Colby through you after he passed away, because again, I was only in Edmonton for five

(01:00:28):

Months,

(01:00:29):

So I didn't really get that personal interaction with everyone that you would if you were full season training camp, whatever. So I think that that video has to be the best moment because everything I learned after the fact that I didn't already know about Colby, just like you said, it just captured who he was and the kind of person in character. And that was successful to me. To have that and to also be able to share that with you was so special because I was like, I know how horrible these days are right

(01:01:05):

Now,

(01:01:06):

And obviously in a different way, but I know that it just piles on and you're just treading water and you're doing the duties that you no one should have to be dealing with. So I'm glad that it made you smile and cry. No, I love it that you have it. I love it.

Emily Cave Boit (01:01:26):

Yeah, I love that video. Well, thank you so much for coming on and chatting and sharing your story and talking about your parents and where you are. We love following your journey. So yeah, thank you. Thanks for coming on.

Kate Pettersen (01:01:42):

Well, I like to think I'm doing them proud, but I really, really do miss them. You are

Emily Cave Boit (01:01:47):

Doing an amazing job and I hope you

Kate Pettersen (01:01:50):

I cry one more time for it for the sake of

Emily Cave Boit (01:01:52):

It. No, you're doing, I can only imagine how proud they are.

Kate Pettersen (01:01:57):

Thank you. Thank you. Of course. And same for Cool.

Emily Cave Boit (01:02:00):

Well thank you.

(01:02:15):

Obviously you guys can tell from Kate's story, she is in one incredible, strong woman. And I know as I told her, her mom and dad would be so proud of her and everything that she is doing and their honor and the way that she is living out her dad's broadcasting legacy and being an amazing human just like her mom was So, such a special episode. Always would love for you guys to leave a review or a rating, but just want to say thank you guys for listening in. Like I said, I can't believe that is episode number 10 and we are now in the double digits. So excited for many more to come.