100 | Celebrating 100 Episodes Of Pleasure In The Pause: What These Conversations Have Revealed

This is a milestone episode. Episode 100 of Pleasure in the Pause marks two years of bold, honest conversations about women's bodies, pleasure, and sexual health in midlife — and this one is personal. For the first time, host Gabriela Espinosa steps out from behind the microphone and into the hot seat, interviewed by her friend and fellow midlife health advocate Karen Cerezo.

If you have ever felt dismissed by a doctor, confused by the changes in your body, or quietly assumed that pleasure was something you would just have to let go of in this chapter of life — this episode is your reminder that you are not alone, and that assumption is wrong. Gabriela shares the deeply personal story behind why she started this podcast, what she learned from 100 conversations with leading experts in sexual health and intimacy, and where the conversation is headed next. From the surprising gap in women's knowledge about their own anatomy, to cutting-edge medical tools most women have never heard of, to what it really means to step into your sixties with intention — this episode covers it all.

Karen Cerezo is a nationally board-certified health coach, certified personal trainer, menopause expert, TEDx speaker, and founder of Lifestyle Fitness. With over a decade of experience helping women in midlife navigate perimenopause and beyond, Karen blends science-backed education with real-life practicality to help women reclaim strength in their bodies, their choices, and their confidence. Karen specializes in menopause education, hormone health, strength training after 45, and the hidden cost of ignoring midlife health in the workplace. She is the author of Navigating Menopause: A Comprehensive Wellness Tracking Journal and a sought-after speaker who makes complex hormone conversations clear, relatable, and actionable. 

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Sexual pleasure in midlife is not over — it just looks different.
• Systemic hormones and local hormone therapy are not the same thing — and most women are only doing one when they may need both.
• Knowing your own anatomy is the foundation of self-advocacy.
• Pelvic floor therapy is one of the most underused and most effective tools available to women in midlife. 
• Pleasure is broader than the bedroom.

This podcast started because Gabriela had no language for what was happening in her own body. A hundred episodes later, that conversation has reached women in 106 countries — and it is just getting started.

If this episode resonated, subscribe to Pleasure in the Pause and share it with a woman in your life who needs to hear it. And if you have been part of this community from the beginning, thank you. This milestone belongs to you, too.

CONNECT WITH KAREN CEREZO:

Website: https://www.midlifehealthcoach.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/midlife_health_coach/

CONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:

Instagram

LinkedIn

Work with Gabriella! 

Full episodes on YouTube.

The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Transcript

Introduction and podcast welcome

Gabriella Espinosa 0:27

Welcome to Pleasure in the Pause, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife women to connect with their bodies, pleasure, and power in perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. I am your host, Gabriela Espinosa. Each week I sit down with leading medical experts, thought leaders, and trailblazers for bold, thought-provoking conversations that educate, inspire, and challenge the myths we've been taught about our bodies, aging, and sexuality. I also share solo episodes with evidence-based insights and real talk to help you feel informed, supported, and in charge of your health and pleasure in this season of life. Because your pleasure matters in and out of the bedroom. So take a deep breath, settle into your body, and let's begin. Hello, beautiful listeners. Welcome back to Pleasure in the Pause. Today's episode is a big one. It's our 100th episode and our two-year anniversary. Before anything else, I just want to take a moment to celebrate this with you because this isn't just my milestone, it's ours. And today, as we celebrate this moment, I just want to say thank you because this podcast would not exist without you. Your listening, your sharing, your messages, your presence in this community. You've made this something so much bigger than I ever imagined. When I first started, I thought I would be speaking primarily to the community of women I had been working with over the past 15 years. And many of you are still here, which means so much to me. But what I didn't expect was how this conversation would grow. Today, Pleasure in the Pause is in the top 10% of podcasts globally. We're reaching women in 106 countries across more than 2,000 cities from the UK to Australia, across the United States, and beyond, with over 63,000 downloads. And that just tells me one thing. This conversation is so needed. And when I really pause and look back at where this all began, it came from a very personal place, a need to unsilence something within me to start breaking that silence around sexual health, pleasure, and what it means to be a woman in midlife. Because when I moved into perimenopause, and I've shared this a lot on the show, I had no language for what was happening in my body. I didn't understand the changes I was experiencing. I didn't know my own sexual anatomy. And I certainly didn't have the conversations or the support that I needed at the time. I was in many ways completely in the dark. And that experience stayed with me. It became the reason I started asking questions and eventually the why for starting this podcast. Over the past few years, I've been on quite a journey learning from some of the leading experts in sexual health, intimacy, and women's well-being. I've traveled around the world, around the country to conferences. And what that journey gave me was knowledge. But more importantly, it gave me agency. It allowed me to become the best advocate for my own pleasure, both in and out of the bedroom. And through this podcast, my intention has been to bring that same sense of clarity and possibility to you, to normalize these conversations, to help you understand what's happening in your body and to remind you that midlife is not the end of pleasure. I also wanted to widen the lens of what pleasure means, because pleasure is not just one thing, it can be found in the smallest moments that bring you back to yourself. And what I know to be true is that when you connect to what lights you up, even in the simplest ways, that ripples out into your relationships, into your work, into the way you show up in the world. And honestly, it feels like we're just getting started, but there's still so much more to explore. And I'm still deeply curious, still committed to bringing you the most meaningful, evidence-based, and honest conversations around pleasure, sexuality, and what it means to feel truly alive in this chapter of life. And for today's episode, we're doing something a little bit different. I'm going to be put in the hot seat and be interviewed. When I thought about who I wanted to interview me for this 100th celebratory episode, Karen Cerezzo was the very first person who came to mind. Karen's been one of my earliest supporters and one of my biggest cheerleaders, and someone I call a friend. She is a nationally board certified health coach, certified personal trainer, menopause expert, TEDx speaker, and founder of Lifestyle Fitness. With over a decade of experience helping women in midlife navigate perimenopause and beyond, she focuses on menopause education, hormone health, and strength training after 45. Karen is also the author of Navigating Menopause, a comprehensive wellness tracking journal. And her mission, like mine, is to help women stop playing small and start leading boldly through midlife and beyond. So let's give a warm welcome to my friend, Karen Cerezzo. Hi, Karen. Welcome to Pleasure in the Pause.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Hello. Thank you for having me here. I'm so excited to be here and celebrating your 100th episode.

Gabriella Espinosa 6:36

And you were the first person that came to mind when I thought, who could I have this conversation with? You are a new friend of mine in Austin, Texas, a place that's been home for just three years. So over the past three years, I've grown my community and met amazing women like you. So thank you so much for being here. I appreciate it.

Did this podcast turn out how she imagined?

SPEAKER_01 7:03

I appreciate that you create space, whether it's in person or through your podcast, to help other women connect and be seen and heard. And so this is amazing. So I'm honored to be here and be a part of it. Okay. So I want to dive in. I got a couple questions for you. Going into the this is your 100th episode. When you first started this journey of just putting your message out there through podcasts, is this what you envisioned initially?

Gabriella Espinosa 7:31

It is a big milestone. I never imagined I would arrive to this day. And I love podcasting. I thought I would start with one season of episodes. And it's been thanks to supporters and listeners like you that I'm still here. So thank you. Thank you again, Karen. And it honestly feels a little surreal because it's just not the number 100. It's everything behind it, the conversations, the preparation, the showing up week after week. And what really stands out to me is that these just haven't been episodes. They've been conversations that have genuinely shifted the way women think about their bodies. And I see that in my clients. I hear it from listeners. And I think it makes it feel really meaningful. You and I have been in rooms where these conversations are also happening, the conferences, and we see the shift that happens when you normalize these conversations.

What Gabriela learned from 100 conversations

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And that's what I was going to say. It's going into it, you're thinking, I just want to talk about things that I'm learning about myself. But you've had a hundred different conversations with different women, different levels of expertise. And when they start to really open up and they share their truths, whether it's their own stories or how they have helped their patients or their clients, it's really powerful. So when you are in those conversations and you've had, like I said, so many of them, what have you learned through others? And what have you learned about yourself through those many conversations?

Gabriella Espinosa 9:09

Yeah, I thought it was be more educational. So I wanted to deepen my education and share that with everyone in a more structured way. But it really became something much deeper because I became very intentional about bringing in leading experts because I could see how much misinformation women were navigating, especially around hormones, sexual health. And so it evolved into something that really sits between science, lived experience, and real conversation. I share some of my own lived experiences in some of the solo episodes. And that's been, that's been kind of a learning curve, Karen, because it's felt very vulnerable, but I felt it was very necessary because I came to this space of podcasting because of my own lived experience, because of the disconnect, because of not having the language or the words to explain what was happening in my body, because I was dismissed, and because of the deep dive that I took myself into learning everything that I could to empower myself. And I wanted to share that with the whole entire world, because I want every woman to feel that way, to feel empowered about her health and advocate for her health, her needs in the bedroom and outside the bedroom, because that has a ripple effect into all of our lives, the way we show up in the world, the way we show up in our relationships, the way we show up in our work and in our communities. So that's really what I've learned and what I want to keep going with as I continue on this podcast journey.

Were women ready to talk about pleasure openly?

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Yeah. So I work with women as well in this time period. And I don't ever really get into the sexual component of it. I talk more about like lifestyle and all. But what you're saying is so true. Just like how our workouts affect everything else in our day and how we nourish our body affects everything else in our day. How we work with our partner and how we talk to our partner and our relationship with our partner also affects this whole experience. Like I said, I don't really talk about the pleasure component. Were you surprised by how many women, one, wanted to hear about it, and two, how many were willing to actually be vulnerable and share their experience as well?

Gabriella Espinosa 11:34

I wasn't surprised actually, because I knew that this was a conversation that needed to happen. I knew that women were craving this kind of information. And I wanted to create a safe space to have those conversations from the point of view of I'm a midlife woman too. I've been through this. You are not alone. I know what it feels like to navigate this transition, feeling confused, feeling disconnected, not having the tools, and really craving this real talk, really craving this evidence-based information. I just felt in my gut this was something that needed to get out there. And I had a community of women that I've had for a while. And so it was just about reaching them first, right? It was about reaching the people who have been part of my community for the last 10, 15 years. And what I've seen this podcast grow, as I mentioned in the intro, it's reached over 106 countries, more than 2,500 cities from the UK to Australia to South America. That I wasn't expecting. I was like, whoa, I just want to talk to my people. I didn't know the metrics of like amplifying this conversation on this type of medium. That's been so amazing. And I try not to get stuck on, okay, what do the numbers say? How well is the podcast performing? I just want to have these conversations with the people in my community. And I'm so grateful. Women like you show up, you found me through the podcast, you were curious, you've always been a great supporter and share my episodes with your community. That's all I wanted, really. But the fact that it is reaching a global scale, oh my gosh, that I just didn't expect that.

The patterns that keep showing up: myths and misconceptions

SPEAKER_01 13:27

And that says, that's right there, shows us that we need that connection, that other women want to be part of that conversation. It's one thing when we're like at an event and you're like, oh, I'm having a hot flash, and that everybody's like, oh, girl, me too. It's another thing when you're sitting down with other friends, girlfriends, just sitting in a room with women and you're like, my libido is terrible. I love my husband. I want to be intimate. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, or the incontinence is terrible. And all of a sudden, where we felt shame about sharing those things, we're like, oh my gosh, me too. Like, what can we do about that? And so when you've had all these conversations, is there anything that you've noticed like patterns that is just constantly popping up where you're like, man, this is like the 10th person that has told me they've struggled with this, or this is a myth that I've heard over and over again. Is there are you noticing patterns that keep repeating in these conversations?

The tools women actually have available to them

Gabriella Espinosa 14:24

Yeah, definitely. And one is for sure thinking that your sexual pleasure is over when you hit midlife. That is that's just what it is, right? This kind of sense of just giving up. And the feeling of seeing and being in a room or being with women that I'm coaching and seeing their eyes light up when they realize, oh, I can have this toolbox of solutions, whether it be mindset, shifting the way I think about my pleasure, right? Realizing that it's not the end, or yeah, wrapping my head around and educating myself about the safety and efficacy of vaginal estrogen, as you know. It takes a lot of education because the WHI study really did a number on women. But as we've been at the Let's Talk Menopause symposiums, conferences, I sit on the board of Let's Talk Menopause, and it's taken a lot of advocacy, a lot of petitioning to finally get the FDA to clear that black box warning off of vaginal estrogen and as well as estrogen-containing hormones in general, that we're now in this situation where uh you can't find them. There's a lack of now. You can't get it now. They're on back order, and I love that. I don't love that they're on back order, but women are getting the message. Women are getting messages, yes, there are tools. Yes, I can shift my mindset. Yes, I can reach out for tools that are safe and effective. Yes, I can learn a new way of communicating. And that's where I work a lot with women, teaching them how to communicate from a place of these are my needs, these are what pleasure means to me, this is what feels good to me. Those three things breaking the myths that sexual pleasure is over, realizing that there are real tools like vaginal estrogen, lube, vibrators. I also talk about, and that, yeah, when you use your voice, both in the bedroom and in the doctor's office, you step into the most powerful version of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

I'm a huge component for self-advocacy. That is my wheelhouse is teaching women how to advocate for themselves, whether at work, with their partner, at the doctor's office, whatever it is. And so that is such a big one. But again, before you can do that, you have to have the confidence, you have to have the language to understand what is it that I'm even advocating for. So I would say one of the things that I learned from you at the very beginning, when you first started talking about this, and I was listening to your podcast and I was listening to some of your solo episodes, is it's not going to look the same that it did before. It's your body is changing. And so that relationship is changing. And this is the perfect time for rediscovery, not only of yourself and what you love, but also allow your partner to rediscover you. And that was when it really flipped that switch. And I was like, oh, this is like a new Karen. Come learn about her. This is amazing. And that was so empowering. And that really did make me feel a little bit more comfortable and have that conversation with my husband of let's try some new things because what was working is no longer working. And so, how can we learn what our body needs?

Gabriella Espinosa 17:45

Thanks so much for sharing that. That has been at the crux of my message and mission is really to get women to get curious about exploring their bodies again and inviting their partners along for the ride. It's so much fun.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

I wish my grandma was still here because she was a very open, honest person about her sexuality, maybe a little too much when I was in middle school, but but I wish she was here because I would have liked to have talked to her about her intimacy. And when she was in her 50s, 60s, 70s, she lived to be 98. And she was like chasing men around to the retirement community. But that lady, she loved being a lover. And I wish I had sat down with her and learned a little bit more about that part, not like the necessarily like the intimate details, but how was that perceived? Were other women feeling that way? Did you notice in your 50s like your girlfriends were being hush-hush about being intimate? Or did you notice that women just stopped being intimate? So I'm really curious as to has it always been that way, or has it just been quiet? Like they were still intimate or they were just pushing through because they didn't have the hormone replacement therapy option. I wish we could have those conversations. And it's important that we're having these conversations now and being able to feel comfortable asking your moms or your grandmothers. I mean, not for intimate details, but how do they feel about themselves as a sexual being?

Gabriella Espinosa 19:09

That's such a great question. And, you know, I interviewed on the podcast Dr. Juliana Hauser, who's a sex therapist, and we talked about that a lot. That's the opening question that every woman should ask themselves. Because it's going to change. It's going to change from when you were, you know, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. I'm still asking myself that question. It evolves. And so I love to hear that story about your grandmother because maybe there was a period when it was kind of hush-hush or shameful for her, or maybe there was this period when she widened her perspective and said no more, and just her mindset shifted and she felt herself really embodied as a sexual being and went for it. I love that story.

The gap in women's knowledge about their own anatomy

SPEAKER_01 20:00

So I know, and we miss out on that. That's why it's so important that we have these conversations across the generations, which I love. I mean, if you think about it, if she was born in the 20s, she would have been in her 50s during that free love time period. So our parents were what in their 20s? And so, hmm, I'm curious. Dang it, why is she not here? I want to know. I want to know the answers. But yeah, I think it is so important to have those conversations. And it's hard, and it's not only important to have them with your partner, but also with your girlfriends. And so I've shared this story a couple of times. My husband absolutely hates it when I share the story. But there was a time when intimacy was very painful and it was not fun. And at one point, I was like, I think my husband gave me an STD. Like I went to him and I was like, Are you cheating on me? Are you kidding me? What is going on down there? And he was like floored. Why would you ever think that? I love you. I wouldn't do that. So I went to my doctor, I tell her all this, and she's like, Oh, yeah, that's just normal. And I'm like, I should not be running around town thinking that I have an STD because I'm not educated on the changes that's happening with my body. So when you have some of those conversations, are you surprised by what little information women do actually have about their sexual pleasure and how their body works through the menopause transition?

Tending to your body like a garden

Gabriella Espinosa 21:24

Yes, yes. I am very surprised. And I have, I have women who and friends, right, that listen to the podcast and they tell me, oh, I love this episode, I love that episode. And then I see them a few months later, and they're saying, Oh gosh, I started hormone therapy, but I'm still experiencing pain, or I still feel dry as the Sahara Desert down there. And they're laughing it off. And I'm like, Did you listen to the episode about vaginal estrogen? And I have to explain the difference between systemic hormones, vaginal estrogen, and direct them to the episodes where I talk about that. I have incredible experts like Dr. Rachel Rubin, one of the top urologists in the country, Dr. Kelly Kasperson, Dr. Maria Sophocles have come onto the podcast to really educate and empower about vaginal estrogen. But there still is a little bit of that. I don't know, I know women are busy, but there still is a little bit. That disconnect. Oh, okay. There is a difference between systemic hormones and vaginal estrogen. And I have to do both. And I think there's this idea that, oh, why do I have to do all of that to take care of my sexual health? Can't I just do one thing and have it be done with? And you know, your sexual health is as important as your overall health. It's essential to your overall health and well-being. And I had this beautiful conversation with Dr. Maria Yoloco, another incredible urologist, who gave us this beautiful metaphor of your vulva is like a garden, and you have to tend to your garden with all the nutrients, like hormones, hydration, like moisturizer, making sure that you know all the parts of your vulva so that you can know what parts need more tending to and how you can advocate for those parts when you go to the doctor's office. I think we've just existed our whole lives without even looking down there, without even really caring about this part of our health, that we feel we can just take one pill and just be done with. But it really takes having literally a bird's eye view, looking there to know what your normal is, knowing and naming all the parts of your sexual anatomy, knowing what parts feel good, don't feel good, and knowing how to stimulate them so that you know how to generate pleasure and sensation in your body, and then being able to communicate that to a partner, or if there is pain and discomfort, knowing how to communicate that to a doctor. I just think my work still hasn't been done.

SPEAKER_01 24:19

There's still so much work to do. There's so much. Right away, you've mentioned it in the sense that women don't even know what their parts are. They will say, Oh, my vagina's dry, but is it your vagina or is it your labia? And they're like, What is that? So just even knowing what is your parts and then, yeah, what feels good to you? What's your yummy? What's your yucky, right? We learned that. What do you enjoy? I would say the when we went to that let's talk menopause last year, and Kelly Kasperson spoke, and she was talking specifically about vaginal estrogen versus regular estrogen. I had no idea. I was one of those people that was like, oh my gosh, that is two different things that I'm supposed to be doing. And then she talked about moisturizers versus lubricants. And so again, we never really learn enough about our female anatomy to appreciate it and to put that on our self-care list. And so I love that you talk about that because I think that's so much pushed in the back. And like you said, people don't want to do one, they don't want to add another stuff to their day because they're already doing all of these things. We're so used to pushing through and just, this is good enough. This is fine. I'm fine. I can handle 15 minutes of discomfort or whatever. But when we take that extra time, we do that self-care for our vulva, we do that self-care for our gut health, whatever it is that we need that self-care for, then we realize that experience is so much better. I love that you continue to talk about you need all of this. Yes, it's one more thing, but it is gonna add so much more to your life. It's not just another to-do.

Gabriella Espinosa 25:59

Yeah. And our bodies will continue changing and continue aging. So that brings very real changes to our sexual health. So getting ahead of it now in a preventative way, not only with systemic hormones, if you don't want to take systemic hormones, taking vaginal estrogen, which has been proven safe and effective, and really caring for that part of your body, like you do your teeth, your skin. You apply sunscreen every time you step out into the sun, right? So really prioritizing it as essential self-care. I agree 100%.

Cutting-edge medical solutions most women do not know about

SPEAKER_01 26:40

I love that. And as moms of girls, both of us, I think the more we talk about it and the more we just make it a normal thing that this is what you do and this is how you honor your body from head to toe, our daughters will feel like that they are worthy of that. And okay, my face gets seen and that's why I take care of it. Okay, but this is for you, and that's okay if it never gets seen by anybody else. Do it for you, for your pleasure. It doesn't have to always be for somebody else. And as women, that's usually one of our things. You know, we're willing to do it for somebody else, but are we willing to do it for ourselves? So this is a great example of doing that. Okay, so you've gone through a hundred episodes, and obviously I'm sure you've learned a million things behind the scenes as a podcaster. But going through all of these episodes, just as a female, what have you learned that you're like, wow, that was really interesting, or that was really cool, or that was something I had no idea.

Gabriella Espinosa 27:34

Something that I've really shifted my mindset around is the solutions that are out there, although they're very limited, to improve our sexual health. So I wanted to approach the podcast from a very holistic way: communication, self-knowledge, self-pleasure, exploring yourself, establish that mind-body connection. But the more doctors I spoke to, the more conferences I went to, I was surprised to realize that there's some really cutting-edge solutions out there, medical solutions to help women experience deeper, more fulfilling pleasure. And men have about 29 FDA approved options for erectile dysfunction, and women literally have maybe one or two. But there are some going through the pipeline of getting approved by the FDA, there's some that are off label, and that's what I'm really excited about because yeah, you have a whole toolbox. You can have vaginal estrogen, you can have your lubricant, you can, you know, explore your body through self-pleasure. Uh our bodies will continue to change. And if things don't feel right, and if you really want to get that sense of pleasure back into your life sexually, there are medical solutions that can address that. So I'm really excited about things like Vilisi, the little pink pill, Addy. There's another type of topical cream called Sildenophel that's in the pipeline. There's testosterone, of course, that can be compounded with DHEA or other types of components to bring sensation back to the vulvar area. There's lots of solutions out there coming our way, literally, no pun intended. I want women to know about those too, that it's much more than just mindset shifting or self-exploration or communication, that there are other medical tools that you can add to your toolbox. And that's something that's I've really shifted my perspective since talking to so many experts here on the podcast.

Why pelvic floor therapy is a game-changer

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Yeah, I would say just listening to the experts, there's so many things that women experience that I had no idea. Obviously, several of us would be familiar with dryness or maybe even incontinence. But things like prolapse or vaginal tightness, where it's almost too tight, where it's very uncomfortable. And these are things that if you don't experience it yourself, you don't even know these exist. So having those experts come on and share what other women are going through, it's eye-opening the issues we have with women's health, the lack of knowledge we have about our own bodies, but even the lack of information that's out there for women to learn which ways they can get that to aid. So I love that you are sharing this stuff because not everybody knows that they can ask or that there's pelvic floor therapists, or what a public floor therapist even does, and how they can guide you. And having these conversations is so important because while I might not have the issue, maybe my daughter has an issue, maybe one of my clients have the issue, and I can point them in the right direction based on the information that you're providing. So I love that you do that.

Gabriella Espinosa 30:54

Yeah, I'm so glad that you mentioned pelvic floor therapy because that's another area that totally blew my mind. When I invited Kim Vopney, who's a pelvic floor physical trainer. She is known as vagina coach, I think, on Instagram, as well as Dee Hartman, very well-known pelvic floral therapist. And this is something that women, I think, overlook really. And it can be such an incredible tool to have in your toolbox to go and get pelvic florotherapy, and they give you the exercises that you need to do, and you integrate those into your life just like you do any other aspect of your physical workout, like walking or weight training. And it's really important because it is super, super effective. So, yeah, thanks so much for mentioning that.

Passing this knowledge to the next generation

The next 100 episodes: what is coming

SPEAKER_01 31:49

It's so crazy that we're like one of the first world countries that doesn't have pelvic floor therapy postpartum. We just became grandparents. Um, my oldest just had a baby. Thank you. But it's one of those things like she knows nothing about her pelvic floor. And so the fact that Gen X, the women of Gen X, are learning about all of these things now, at least we can pass it down to our daughters, our granddaughters, so that they aren't in this position because things like pelvic floor health, things like intimacy, things like incontinence and vaginal estrogen, don't necessarily wait until you're 50 or 60. This could be happening in your 40s, in your 30s. It could be happening during postpartum. And so the more we're educated, the more we can pass that knowledge down to the next generation. And so having these conversations is so important and sharing that knowledge and being open and honest with other women in our life. I love it. That being said, when you're looking at the next 100 episodes, like where do you see Pleasure in the Pause going? What does it mean to you today? And which avenue do you see it going in?

Widening the definition of pleasure

Gabriella Espinosa 32:55

That is a great question. I keep going. I think about, you know, 100 feels like a big number, but you know, these past two years have flown by. I've enjoyed every single minute of it, getting in front of the microphone, getting to meet the experts, having these deep dive conversations. So I just want to keep going and dive a little bit deeper. Continue to raise the standard of these conversations and help women feel informed, empowered, and connected to their bodies. This work, the science, the research keeps evolving as we keep directing attention to it. I know doctors right now who are initiating studies around sexual pleasure for midlife women because none exist. So we're kind of having to just start from scratch. And so I'm really excited about what those research points are going to reveal and make available to us. And sexuality is part of human behavior, it's what we're wired for connection, for intimacy, and human behavior is going to keep evolving. So I'm excited to see how the science around human behavior is going to look like and dive into those conversations. For example, dating in midlife. Women, a lot of women start over in terms of their relationships and they start dating. And so that whole area is something that I find fascinating. And with the rise of AI and the, you know, the depth and breadth of dating apps, I love to see how that's going to change the way that we connect with others and find love and romance and connection. So I'm really fascinated about the technology behind that and how technology also is going to help improve. There's so much in the pipeline to help us improve our sexual pleasure. So not only medical tools that I mentioned earlier, medical solutions, but also technical solutions. So I'm really excited about what's happening there. And I'm just keeping an open mind. I'm keeping an open mind for all of it. Because if we want to prioritize it, if it's important to us, and I think deep down inside, it is important to so many of us. And we just throw in the towel because we just think it's over. But there is so much available to us in terms of medical solutions, technology. Again, there's always mindset, improving your communication skills, and all of the tools that are out there. So I'm so, so excited. We're living in a different era now.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Oh, it's it is. I love the whole fintech component of it all. But I was gonna say the thing about your title and all of the things that you address, because it's not just about pleasure as far as sexual touching or intimacy. It also is you talk, whether it's on your podcast or just you talking about how you like to dress. Like dressing makes you feel sexy, or just reading a book, or spending time by yourself makes you feel pleasure in your life. And so there's so many other ways that we can have pleasure in the pause. If we don't want to be a sexual person, it could be wearing a beautiful outfit or getting our hair done or having brunch with our girlfriends. I was very fortunate to be at your birthday. We're gonna get into getting to turning 60 in a second, but there was so much pleasure in that room. And it didn't have to be sexual, it was just beautiful and the laughter and watching you and your husband dance, and you've got this beautiful outfit on and you feel comfortable and sexy. And I think all of those things demonstrate that you can have pleasure in the pause, even if you don't want to be intimate like the way you were before. There's other ways to express this pleasure.

Gabriella Espinosa 36:53

And I think you do such a phenomenal job to bring all of that to the forefront. Yeah, thank you so much for saying that and for mentioning that. Yeah, we've been talking a lot about sexual pleasure. And yes, that was also a premise of starting the podcast that you can, when you find that place of just being with yourself because it all starts with you. That's my whole mantra. It all starts with you becoming intimate with yourself and finding what lights you up. And I always talk about expanding the definition of pleasure. It doesn't have to be going towards sexual pleasure, it can be friendships, it can be, as you said, clothing and style. It can be whatever lights you up, brings a smile to your face, your connection to nature, starting a new hobby, having a new purpose. That's pleasure. So I definitely talk a lot about on the podcast widening the definition of pleasure. That's so important because there's so much there for us. And you know what, Karen? We get to have more in midlife. That's what I tell my midlife women. We get to have more of everything. And so when we widen that definition, we realize everything that's possible. So much pleasure is possible.

Turning 60: what this new decade feels like

SPEAKER_01 38:08

I agree. I agree. And I think when you start with those simple things, when you do your yoga outside, when you're sitting there having your cup of coffee with your dog, when you put on a beautiful dress, that then slowly builds into what it is you want to do next, right? And if it's being intimate with somebody or being intimate with yourself, whatever it is, that just builds that confidence. It doesn't have to start there. And I love that you're able to open that up and let women start where they are and then move into what feels comfortable for them. So we did pop it a little bit, but you just turned 60. You know, going into this new decade and looking at it, because of course when we're 20, we're like 60. Oh my God, we're gonna be like an old folks home. Are you kidding me? Now that you're there, what do you look forward to? What lights you up? What gets you excited? Going into this new decade, like what does it feel like?

Gabriella Espinosa 38:58

But yeah, I never envisioned being 60.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Isn't that funny? We just assume we're just gonna be hot and young forever.

Do you take time to celebrate your own wins?

Gabriella Espinosa 39:06

And now that I'm here, it feels more intentional. I feel stronger in my body, I feel healthier, I feel wiser. But I also feel something that I didn't expect. I do feel this kind of more tuning inwards and really exploring what I want to do in this next phase of life. And so I'm really taking some quiet time, slowing down time, not in a way of fading away. I'm just gonna slow down and fade away into the background. Uh-uh. That's not happening. I didn't think so. I really want to take time to slow down and pause and really reflect and intentionally bring forward more of my wisdom, more of what I have to offer to the world. So I'm cooking up some beautiful new offerings and really stepping into a new creative aspect of my life, which I wasn't expecting to, but it's birthing inside of me. And I love that. I love it. And so I'm not there yet, but that's what's coming up for me. Really stepping into a new creative aspect of my life through writing, through different things that I'll I'll share with my community soon. But awesome. And definitely more of the emotional, internal landscape of my life. So I want to share that more with people. I find that, you know, my 50s were so much, and I see that with the women that are in their 50s around me too. And I get it. Your 50s are so much about stepping into your power and showing up boldly, and you have all the energy and you really are really shifting in terms of the way you see things. And then you move into a new decade and you're like, okay, how do I harness all of that power? How do I harness all of that wisdom, all of that boldness? I don't have to keep doing it loudly and proudly and colorfully. I can do it in a different way. And so that's what I'm trying to shift into finding new ways to communicate and to convey all the wisdom and all the gifts that I have to offer to the world.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Yeah. And I love the whole just being intentional. And it's so nice because now our kids are older, and we have the time to just sit back and reflect. One of the things that I talk about a lot is when I do something big, as soon as I'm done, then I'm thinking, okay, what's the next big thing? What's the next big thing? So do you take an opportunity to celebrate the successes that you have? And it doesn't necessarily have to be like business success or money just success. It just could be anything. But do you take the time to sit and be like, that was something I wanted to do? And I fulfilled that and I'm proud of myself. Do you celebrate yourself?

Gabriella Espinosa 42:01

Absolutely. You know, I have a morning practice where I sit with myself and journal and move. I have a little movement practice and reflect. And I always have this practice of gratitude, gratitude for stepping into the best version of myself and doing things that felt scary, but that I did anyway. And yeah, I praise myself, congratulate myself, and really pay gratitude to myself and for stepping into those very vulnerable, scary places because I never imagined that I would be doing this, Karen, stepping into a platform and sharing my voice. I had a nickname when I was younger. My relatives would call me the silent one. She's the silent one. I was very reflective, very introverted. And using my voice in this way at the beginning felt so scary, but I just knew that I had to do it. I knew that I had to unsilence myself and unsilence these narratives that we were all carrying around our sexuality, of what it was to be a midlife woman around menopause. I just felt like no more silent one, Gabriella. You got to use your voice for good. And so that's what I'm doing. And I feel, yeah, that's one of my most proudest moments to know that I'm doing that right now.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

I love that. I love that you celebrate because that is definitely something that I told myself I was going to be intentional with this year, is just taking time to just be like, good job, Karen. You did what you said you were going to do. And it could be as easy as something small and it could be something big. And we were taught to be humble and just keep moving forward. And so it's okay. You can be humble and still be like, I'm proud of what I've done. And since you were considered the silent one when you were younger, if you could go back and sit down with your younger self, maybe your daughter's current age, or maybe even younger than that, what would you want your younger self to know moving forward?

Gabriella Espinosa 44:05

Yeah, that she was wise and had everything inside of her to get her through any hardship or any challenges. When I was going through challenging parts of my life, I would just tune inwards and just go into my own little world. And then when I was going in through perimenopause and menopause, I really felt confused, right? I didn't feel like I had the voice to ask questions, to talk about it openly with friends or with my doctors or with my partner. So I would just tell that younger version of myself to trust her voice, that her voice is wise, has so many smart things to say, and that if she just allowed herself to speak up, the world would listen.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

Oh, I love that. That's phenomenal. I appreciate you all the stuff that you have brought to the table, the conversations you have started, the honesty, the real, the raw, all of it, because I think it does make a huge difference for so many women. Again, whether they want to be intimate or not, it's just about figuring out what do I want in this new phase and how can I feel beautiful and sexy and appreciated in my own body that is evolving and changing into this amazing woman. So thank you for creating that space.

Gabriella Espinosa 45:31

Yeah, and that's what Pleasure in the Pause is all about. You summed it up perfectly, Karen. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's it means not overriding what your body's telling you, but yet creating that space to listen, to feel, and to really step into whatever decade you're stepping into, whether it be your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, your 70s, as the woman that you were always meant to be. And that takes tuning inwards and asking yourself the question: what does pleasure mean to me? And then living that, embodying that, whatever it is. So thanks so much for being a supporter, Karen, and for coming on with me today and celebrating part of my intention as I step into this next decade was really cultivating the friendships and the relationships and deepening those. And you certainly are one of those women that I've done that with. And it means so much to share this space with you, to be in community with you, to be in conversation with you, not only here on the podcast, but externally when we meet with women, when we show up at conferences and parties. Yeah. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

We're gonna need to do uh cheers the next time we see each other in person. We will be missed out this opportunity. Where's my champagne?

Gabriella Espinosa 46:47

We definitely will do that. So thanks again for celebrating with me. It means the world to me. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you for joining me for this episode of Pleasure in the Pause. Want to help me spread more pleasure in the world? Please hit subscribe to the podcast and share this episode with a friend, a sister, or any woman you care about. Because when we share these conversations, we remind each other we are not alone. Together, we create ripples of empowerment and support that reach far beyond ourselves. Your support means the world to me. Thank you. Remember, your pleasure matters. The information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or pleasure in the pause.