How Can Parents Navigate Screen Time for Kids in a Tech-Driven World?

In this episode of MomDoc Talk, host Dr. Kristen Cook addresses parental concerns about children's use of electronic devices. She reviews the American Academy of Pediatrics’ screen time guidelines, discusses the importance of content quality, and offers practical tips for setting boundaries and fostering healthy digital habits. Kristen also covers legal aspects of social media use, signs of unhealthy screen time, and the value of parental involvement and modeling. Emphasizing flexibility and open communication, she reassures parents that mindful technology use can support children’s development and family balance in today’s digital world.

• Concerns about children's screen time and electronic device usage
• Historical context of electronic device use in families
• Recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) regarding screen time for different age groups
• Importance of distinguishing between educational and harmful content
• Strategies for setting boundaries and fostering healthy digital habits
• Legal aspects of children's social media use and age restrictions
• Parental involvement in monitoring and guiding children's technology use
• Signs that screen time may negatively impact a child's well-being
• Emphasis on flexibility and open communication between parents and children about technology
• Encouragement for parents to model healthy digital habits and maintain balance in their children's lives

Podcast Disclaimer

The information presented in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitution for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider for medical concerns. All of the opinions are of Dr. Kristen Cook and do not reflect the opinions of her employer nor the hospitals she is affiliated with. The authors and publishers of this podcast do not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or consequences of using the information provided.

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Transcript

0:31

Hi, friends. Welcome back to Mom Talk. I'm your host, doctor Kristen Cook, a pediatrician parenting advisor in your partner in providing guidance on how to raise humans in a tech savvy world. Today, we're diving into a topic that parents ask me about almost every single day the use of electronic devices. How much is too much, what's educational and what's actually harmful? And how the heck do you help a child navigate the safe use of social media, which didn't even exist when most of us parents were growing up? Let's begin with a brief history lesson because the use of electronic devices is not new. The BBC began regular television transmissions in 1930. By 1948, 1 million homes in the United States had at least one television. By the end of the 1960s, over 95% of households in the United States had at least one television. In fact, watching television eventually became a national pastime as women returned to the workforce. Frozen dinners, also called TV dinners, increased in popularity and boom, the family eating dinner out of aluminum trays while watching television together became the norm, not the exception. Before we dive into the use of electronic devices in our modern era, I want you to cut yourself some slack. Truly. Because in my experience, most parents are far too hard on themselves when it comes to their child's electronic use. In fact, do this with me now. Take a deep breath. Promise me that you won't get caught up in any number that I might mention. Commit to having curiosity rather than judgment. I know the following to be true. Simply by listening to this episode, you are demonstrating that you are a caring, thoughtful parent. Let's be honest. Uninvolved parents don't care about how much screen time their children get each day. Screen time is exactly what it sounds like. The amount of time a person spends using any type of electronic device that has a screen. It's important to remember that the use of electronic devices is not inherently bad or wrong. How many of us have fond memories of playing video games with friends, or watching a movie with our parents? I bet most of us do, and that's great. I encourage parents to focus on healthy, age appropriate use of electronic devices. Whenever I counsel parents on any topic, I make sure to refer to any information published by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The American Academy of Pediatrics is the largest association of pediatricians in the United States. It is an organization that provides guidance on the optimal physical, social, and emotional health and well-being for children of all ages. ARP recommendations are guided by science by analyzing the most up to date research studies available. I need to warn you that the ARP recommendations regarding screen time are a bit daunting. In fact, if I'm being honest, I don't agree with every single aspect of those recommendations, and I want you to process the following information through the lens that you are the expert of your family. Before I get into the specifics, please understand that what I'm about to describe are recommendations. They are not strict rules to follow. They are not an all or none phenomenon. Recommendations provide insights and propose actions. I am discussing them for completeness, and I do not want any parent to listen to the following recommendations and feel bad about their parenting because it does not meet those recommendations. The truth is that my kids use electronic devices much more than I would like them to, but I'm doing the best that I can, and I'm sure that you are, too. The American Academy of Pediatrics has updated its recommendations regarding the use of electronic devices over the years, and here's where things currently stand. For children under 18 months of age. Avoid screen time except for video chatting with loved ones. For children 18 to 24 months of age. If you choose to introduce digital media, it should be high quality and you should co view that means watch and talk about the programming together. For children ages 2 to 5 years old. Limit screen time. Use to one hour per day of high quality programming and again co viewing is key. For children ages six years old and older. The AEP shifts from time limits to a focus on balance. It's important to prioritize sleep, physical activity, completion of schoolwork, and in-person family time. Use of electronic devices should not interfere with those. Parents need to set consistent boundaries and guide kids towards healthy digital habits. In other words, it's not just about how much, but also what our kids are doing and how they're doing it. Tablets, phones, televisions, laptops, gaming consoles they're everywhere, and electronic devices are not going away anytime soon. Remember, the device itself isn't bad or good. It's about how your child is using it, how often, and how much it's crowding out other essential parts of childhood like outdoor play, in-person connection, Action and good old fashioned boredom. If a child occasionally watches five hours of screen time per day, but is a healthy, well-adjusted child who sleeps well, play sports, and consistently engages with family and friends? That's a child I don't worry much about. Yet if a child watches one hour of screen time per day and they become obsessed with their appearance, fuss daily over perceived physical flaws, and intentionally stay up late to watch TikTok makeup tutorials without their parents knowledge, I'm concerned healthy digital habits are possible. Let's talk about how to set and hold boundaries around the use of electronic devices. The key is to be flexible. For children of all ages, consider using parental controls. Create screen free zones within the home, dinner table, bedrooms, and during family time. Keep the conversations open in age. Appropriate discussions about screen time and social media are not one time talks. It's a frequent check in for toddlers and preschoolers. Keep it simple. Strive for a maximum of 30 to 60 minutes per day. Maximum of high quality, parent approved content each day. PBS kids, ABC kids TV, and ABC mouse are great resources. In addition, consider using a visual timer that goes off when the screen time is over. Because toddlers understand what they can see. In addition, do your best to avoid screens at least one hour before bedtime. Yet if your toddler hates being strapped into a car seat without some sort of distraction, but you need to drive two hours to attend a family get together, consider putting on a movie in the car for your child. A calm toddler is safer than a toddler, who is a distraction to the driver because they are screaming the entire car ride. For school age children. Consider creating a family technology agreement when, where, and how long screens are used both by parents and by the kids. I have a caveat. Parents need to follow the agreement just as much as the kids do. Kids will do what they see their parents doing. Parents, it's important that you develop and demonstrate healthy digital habits. Use social media responsibly. Try not to post any negative comments on social media. Remember the golden rule? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Likewise, if you have nothing nice to add to a social media post, don't post anything at all. There is so much negativity and meanness out there. Please don't add to it. Commit to do better. Also, for school aged children encouraged technology that has a purpose such as learning apps, video calls with family who live far away, and creative games like digital art or coding. It's important to monitor your child's electronic device usage and to have repeated conversations about age appropriate content for school age children. National geographic kids, Duolingo, Excel, and Brain Pop are great. When it comes to tweens and teens. First and foremost, have patience. This age group often fights tooth and nail to have their hands on an electronic device as much as possible. Involve them in rural setting to build buy in. Talk about the why behind any limits, including mental health, sleep and safety. Speaking of tweens and teens, let's talk about something that so many parents feel uncertain or sometimes even powerless about kids in social media. We live in a world where kids as young as 7 or 8 are asking for TikTok, Snapchat or Instagram accounts, but just because they want it or because their friends have it doesn't mean that it's healthy or even legal. In the United States, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act is the law that governs online platforms and their use by children. It was passed in 1998, and it states that children under age 13 cannot legally have accounts on platforms that collect personal data, which is virtually all social media platforms, unless there's a verifiable parental consent. Most social media companies avoid the hassle and liability by simply setting the minimum age at 13. But here's the catch. There's no real enforcement or verification. All it takes is a child entering a fake birthday and boom, they're in. Let's quickly run through some of the most popular platforms and their minimum age policies as of 2025. Instagram, Snapchat, regular YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, discord, and WhatsApp are ages 13 and up. TikTok is as well, with limited features for kids aged 13 to 16 and no ability to direct message under 16 years old. So while legally the cutoff is age 13, remember this is based on data privacy, not developmental readiness. The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes that social media is a part of adolescence, but it also calls for active parental involvement in age appropriate boundaries. Here are the AAP's core recommendations when it comes to social media use. Delay social media use until at least age 13 and ideally later, depending on maturity and emotional development. Monitor and mentor don't just spy on your child's social media. Use it as a chance to coach them on kindness, boundaries, privacy, and safety. Be alert for warning signs of harm, cyberbullying, anxiety, depression, change in appetite or poor sleep. Make sure to have regular conversation that curated lives are not real lives. Help your child understand how social media can distort self-esteem and body image. Anyone can post anything for any reason, regardless if it is safe. And finally, consider collaborating with your kids to create a family media plan a written agreement about time limits, device free zones, and expectations around content and communication. Here's my take. Just because a platform allows it at age 13 doesn't mean your child is ready at age 13. Maturity doesn't happen on a birthday. Look for impulse control. The ability to understand boundaries and privacy. The ability to communicate about cyberbullying, inappropriate videos, or when something just seems off. And parents, don't be afraid to say not yet. You are not ruining your child's life. If you delay access to TikTok, YouTube or Roblox. Remember, you are the parent. It's okay to say no to more screen time. It's okay to enforce different screen time rules then your child's friends have. It's important to provide consequences if your child breaks the family rules regarding electronics use, and it's also okay to reset the rules as needed. Make sure to watch out for signs that screen time may be doing more harm than good. Significant mood swings or massive temper tantrums when asked to unplug. Declining grades are missed. Responsibilities withdrawing from real life friends or activities, sleep disturbances or fatigue. These are signs it's time to reassess and possibly dial things back. Finally, you are not failing. If your child watches a screen so that you can shower or get a minute of peace. Screens are tools, not babysitters, but also not villains. Used wisely, they can support your child's development and help you to maintain your sanity. So here's the takeaway. Screens are part of our kids world, but they don't have to be in charge. You as a parent, get to decide what healthy digital health looks like in your home. Set boundaries. Be consistent. Model mindful use and let your kids know that the best connection doesn't come through Wi-Fi. It comes through you and other loved ones. Thank you so much for being here with me today on Mom Doc talk with Doctor Kristen Cook. If you found this episode helpful, please make sure to share it with a fellow parent who may be struggling to find balance with technology. And don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss an episode full of sanity saving parenting tools. Until next time, stay kind to yourself and keep parenting the child you have.