Keeping It Real: Honest Conversations About Vaping, Marijuana, and Cigarettes

In this episode of MomDoc Talk, Kristen, a pediatrician and mom, guides parents on how to talk with their children about vaping, marijuana, and cigarette use. She explains current trends, medical risks, and the importance of honest, non-judgmental conversations over fear-based tactics. Kristen offers practical advice for age-appropriate discussions, highlights the dangers of unregulated substances, and emphasizes the value of modeling healthy behaviors. She encourages parents to build trust, listen with empathy, and maintain open communication to help protect and support their children through these challenging topics.

What you’ll learn:

• Discussing the prevalence of vaping, marijuana, and cigarette use among youth.
• Understanding the terminology and slang associated with these substances.
• Addressing the real medical risks of vaping, marijuana, and cigarette use without exaggeration.
• The importance of honest, non-judgmental conversations to build trust with children.
• Exploring the reasons why kids might use these substances, including peer pressure and coping mechanisms.
• Highlighting the dangers of unregulated products and the risk of fentanyl contamination.
• Providing practical advice for parents on how to approach discussions at different developmental stages.
• Emphasizing the significance of modeling healthy behaviors as a parent.
• Encouraging ongoing communication and relationship-building rather than fear-based tactics.
• Discussing the importance of understanding the consequences of substance use that matter to children.

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Podcast Disclaimer

The information presented in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitution for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider for medical concerns. All of the opinions are of Dr. Kristen Cook and do not reflect the opinions of her employer nor the hospitals she is affiliated with. The authors and publishers of this podcast do not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or consequences of using the information provided.

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Transcript

0:31

Hi and welcome back to mom Dot talk with Doctor Kristen Cook. I'm your host, a pediatrician mom, and a facilitator of those parenting discussions you would rather not have. I want to warn you, today's topic is a little intense. It involves a subject most parents want to ignore but can't. This episode is about vaping marijuana and cigarettes. These substances are everywhere. Our kids are on social media, in school bathrooms, at parties, and sometimes even in their own home. And many parents don't know what to say, when to say it, or how to say it without sounding preachy, triggering defensiveness, or accidentally making it more interesting. Today's episode is about how to talk to your child about these substances, not how to scare them, because fear based conversations may stop a behavior temporarily, But they don't build judgment, discernment, or trust. And trust is what keeps kids coming back to you when it really matters. My goal today is to help you understand what substances kids are actually using, to understand why they are drawn to these substances, to learn about the real medical risks without exaggeration, and most importantly, how to have conversations that actually reduce risk. According to the centers for Disease Control, in 2022, 30.7% of 12th graders in the United States reported using marijuana in the past year, and 6.3% of 12th graders reported daily use of marijuana over the past 30 days. And in 2024, 10.8% of high school students reported current use of tobacco containing products, with e-cigarettes accounting for 7.8% of use while 10.8% does not seem like a lot. Almost 30% of this group reported using e-cigarettes at least once daily. Let's start with terminology. But kids kids are fluent, and parents often aren't. Vaping refers to the inhalation of an aerosol created by an electronic device. These devices include e-cigarettes, vape pens, mods, and disposables. Kids may call them vapes, jewels, puff bars, ripping, or hitting a vape. Here's an important distinction. Vaping does not mean that your child is inhaling harmless water vapor. Most vape products include an arsenal full of harmful chemicals, including nicotine or marijuana. Now let's talk about marijuana. Marijuana can be smoked, vaped, eaten in the form of edibles, dabbed or waxed. There are over a thousand slang names for products that contain marijuana. Kids may call marijuana based products weed, pot, dub, Molly, grass, or dope. And here's something that parents need to understand clearly. Today's marijuana is far more potent than what existed 20 to 30 years ago. Traditional cigarettes are less popular, but some kids still use them. Kids may refer to cigarettes or cigars as smoking cigs, nick sticks, or cancer sticks. And often cigarette use overlaps with vaping or use of marijuana products. Parents often ask what exactly is dangerous about these? Some even tell me marijuana is legal in my state, so what's the big deal? Let's break it down clearly and honestly. Once lit, a cigarette, releases about 700 chemicals And about 70 of those are known to cause cancer. Lung cancer is the most common cancer associated with smoking, but another 15 cancers are also linked to cigarette smoking. Cigarettes and vape aerosol contain many of the same chemicals, the most well known as nicotine, which is highly addictive and harmful to the developing brain. Nicotine exposure during adolescence alters brain development, impacts attention and impulse control, and increases risk of addiction to other substances. It also increases the risk of lung disease and cardiovascular disease. Other chemicals in cigarettes include formaldehyde, which is used in embalming heavy metals such as nickel, tin, and lead. In addition, some of the flavoring chemicals in vape aerosol have been linked to lung disease. When it comes to marijuana. The primary psychoactive ingredient is THC, which stands for tetrahydrocannabinol, which is the ingredient that causes the euphoria and the altered sensory perception. In other words, it's the ingredient that causes the high THC, negatively affects memory, motivation, emotional regulation, and reaction time. There are at least 500 other chemicals in marijuana, including arsenic, cadmium, carbon monoxide, and lead. It is so important to understand that the human brain does not fully develop until a person is in their mid-twenties, and the brain continues to change and adapt throughout a person's life. Any substance used before the age when the brain fully develops causes brain damage, which can be permanent if the substances are used often enough. Adolescent brains are still under construction and THC interferes with that process. Kids don't use substances because they're bad. They use them because they're human. Some kids use these substances because they are curious or even because they are bored. A lot of kids report peer pressure or a desire for peer approval as the reason for use. Other kids will use in attempts to reduce stress, anxiety, or depression for many kids. Vaping a social currency. For others, marijuana feels like a coping tool. And when parents dismiss these reasons, kids stop talking. Your child doesn't need you to agree with their behavior, but they do need you to understand. Let's talk about real risks, not exaggerated ones. Vaping, nicotine based products or smoking cigarettes on a regular basis can lead to nicotine addiction. Chronic cough. Inflammation of the lungs. Lung disease. Increased risk of numerous types of cancer. Mental health disorders and heart problems such as high blood pressure or increased heart rate. Now let's talk about marijuana. Even a one time use can cause problems. Certainly, impaired driving is a major concern. Use of marijuana can also lead to psychosis, which poses real risks to health and safety. Regular use of marijuana can cause problems with memory and learning, impaired judgment and decision making abilities. Problems in school and addiction. And here's a key point. The earlier the exposure, the higher the risk. There's another risk I want parents to understand, and it's one that understandably creates a lot of fear. Fentanyl. You may have heard stories about marijuana being laced with fentanyl. Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid drug that is extremely potent, dangerous, and responsible for a large number of accidental overdoses in adolescents and adults. Even microscopic amounts can be deadly. Fentanyl is most commonly found in counterfeit pills and other illicit drugs not intentionally added to marijuana as a standard practice, however, and this is the part that parents need to understand. Kids are not buying substances from regulated sources. When marijuana is obtained from peers, from social media contacts, or even from drug dealers, there is a real risk of contamination, mislabeling, or substitution. Most people who manufacture and or distribute drugs don't usually stick to a single substance. Fentanyl ends up in other substances, such as marijuana, through cross-contamination on shared equipment used to manufacture or sell drugs, products being mislabeled or mixed, and vape cartridges that do not contain what the users think they actually contain. And here's what makes fentanyl especially dangerous for adolescents. They have no opioid tolerance they may use alone, they may not recognize symptoms of overdose, and they may hesitate to call for help out of fear. That combination is what turns experimentation into tragedy when it comes to having conversations about the use of cigarettes, vaping, or marijuana. It's important to start the conversations early and have them regularly. For elementary school age children, keep the conversation simple, factual, and short. Let's say that you are watching a movie at home and a character smokes a cigarette. You can pause the movie and say, yuck, that's a cigarette. They have lots and lots of chemicals in them that hurt our bodies. Or while you're grocery shopping, you could take your child to the area that has vapes and cigarettes. Point to them and ask, hey, do you know what those are? Taking advantage of these real life situations can make the conversations less awkward and more impactful for kids in middle school and high school. Keep the conversations ongoing, non-judgmental, and two way. Lead with curiosity. Instead of asking, are kids at your school vaping? Try. Hey, what do you know about vaping? Curiosity opens doors. Accusation slams them shut. In addition, instead of fear based ultimatums, say in our family, we care about health, safety, and making choices that protect our future values guide behavior when parents aren't present. It's also important to acknowledge peer pressure. Say, I know it can be awkward or hard to say no. But real friends wouldn't force you to do something you don't want to do. Teach them scripts so that they are prepared for unexpected offerings. No thanks, I'm good or I don't mess with that, or that stuff would mess up my chances at a football scholarship. Consider ending conversations with. If you ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you can always come to me no matter what. When it comes to fentanyl, consider telling your child you never really know what you're getting. When substances come from unregulated sources, there's no quality control, no ingredient list, and no safety net. Don't say everything is laced with fentanyl because kids will dismiss that, but they will listen. If you say, I'm not assuming you're using anything. I want you to understand why I'm concerned about unregulated products, because people your age are getting hurt by things they didn't expect to be in what they talk. If you know that your child is vaping, smoking cigarettes, or using marijuana, don't panic. They are not necessarily destined for addiction. Start with a gentle conversation about their motive. Are they trying to fit in with their friends, or are they trying to cope with anxiety or depression? It's important to listen more than you speak. The next step is to ask them if they understand what the substance is doing to their body. Both the short term and long term consequences if they lack understanding. This is the time to discuss, but make sure to focus on the consequences that matter to them. Most teenagers don't care about lung cancer because that seems like a grown up problem. But they may care about decreased sports performance, uncomfortable nausea, or a cough that won't go away. Depending on your family values, you may want to provide a consequence for their substance use. But remember, punishments won't work. Taking away your child's cell phone, grounding them, or banning them from having a relationship with a problematic friend won't help. This requires a personalized approach, and I say this with all the love in my heart. But you cannot control every aspect of your child's behavior. If they decide to continue to use, you might not be able to stop them, but you can love them through this regardless of your discipline strategy. Here's what I want you to remember. You don't need a perfect speech. You need a relationship. And your child needs your calm presence, your willingness to listen and your ability to hold boundaries with compassion. That's what protects kids. Not fear. Not control. Not shame. You are not raising a robot. You are raising a developing human being. And the fact that you're having these conversations with them at all, that matters more than you know. These conversations are not easy, but they are potentially life saving. By the way, please do your best to model the behaviors you would like your child to demonstrate, which means it is best if you stay away from smoking, vaping, and from the use of any form of marijuana. School age children are concrete thinkers and having a do as I say and not as I do approach will backfire for teens. If they say you vaping while preaching about the dangers of that same activity. They will see you as a fraud and I mean no judgment in this. These substances are highly addicting if you do use them. Have frequent discussions with your teen about why it is okay for you and not for them. It may help to explain your story when it comes to how you started using these products, and why you continue to use them. Above all, be honest. That will go a long way to facilitate continued conversations in the future. Thank you for being here with me today. Thank you for engaging in difficult conversations with your children. The conversations that make you feel uncomfortable are exactly the conversations your kids need. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another parent in the trenches. And if you want to learn more about how to parent the child you have rather than the child you wish you had, please go to Amazon and buy my book, Parenting Redefined. A Guide to Understanding and Nurturing your Child's Behavior to help them thrive.