Quiet No More

Remembering Those Who Shaped Our Path

• Carmen Cauthen

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What happens when the unsung heroes of our lives step into the spotlight, even if only through the memories we cherish? 

I’m Carmen Cauthen, and in this heartfelt episode of "Quiet, No More" I reflect on the profound influence of my mother, whose dedication as a community activist and educator has left an indelible mark on the social and educational fabric of Raleigh, North Carolina. Her strength and commitment to mentoring others, especially during pivotal social changes, have shaped who I am today. 

Join me as I recount personal stories of her impact and discuss plans for a commemorative dinner that celebrates her legacy and honors other remarkable yet unrecognized women who have tirelessly contributed to our community's growth.

Acknowledging the invisible hands that guide our journey is a step towards understanding our roots. In the latter part of the episode, I urge you to reflect on the mentors, family members, and colleagues who have quietly influenced your path. These are the people who have inspired growth and opened doors in your professional and personal life. 

I invite you to share your stories of gratitude on social media, tagging me to create a tapestry of shared appreciation. Whether they are elders or younger individuals, these unsung heroes deserve recognition for their lasting impact. 

Let’s take the time to express our gratitude and honor the foundational figures who have paved the way for us all.

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Carmen Wimberley Cauthen is an author, speaker, and lover of history, Black history in particular. As a truth teller, she delights in finding the hidden truths about the lives of people who made a difference - whether they were unknown icons or regular everyday people.

To Learn more of Carmen:
www.carmencauthen.com
www.researchandresource.com

Speaker 1:

unseen, unheard. We've lived like that far too long. I'm carmen coffin and this is quiet, no more. So who do you need to honor in your life and why? We all kind of have people that we look up to or we think we're patterning some pieces of our lives. There were things that these people did that were important, and how do we honor them? Sometimes the honoring is just in following a pattern that they set or a way of life that they chose, or some characteristics that made them be the person that they were. But have you ever considered who it is that you have put in that place in your life? Because sometimes we do it and it's not conscious, it's just hmm, I like how that person does One of the things I've noticed that I do. Sometimes, when I'm spending time around the same people a lot, I'll start to pick up some of the words that they say or some of the little tiny habits that they have, and I'll start to do them and suddenly I'll go, oh, that sounds like so-and-so or so-and-so. Does that Wonder when I pick that up? But then there are times when I need to really honor what someone has done and I have to think about that A lot of times when you're growing up, especially in school, people ask you, or even in an interview, who is someone that you admired and that meant a lot to you?

Speaker 1:

Or that you try to follow things that they did, and do you know? I hear a lot to you. Or that you try to follow things that they did, and do you know? I hear a lot of people talk about people whose names are big, that you know they might be following on a podcast or following in their career, or something like that. But for me, it was my mama. Now I'm going to tell you straight up my mama and I clashed about a lot of stuff, but I learned so many things from her, not just how to be a woman, but how to be a community activist, how to speak my peace and how to maneuver among people male, female, black, white how to accomplish things and be in a position of strength in the process of doing it. Now, I'm not saying that there weren't probably some areas of her life where she had some insecurities. She didn't necessarily show them to me, but I know that they were there, because we all have them. But it's so important for me to honor the woman that she was to honor the fact that during the 50s and 60s and 70s, she was willing to speak up and she was heard by others. Her values and her lifestyle were important ways that people paid attention to her, and some of the things that she did I fought against oh so hard.

Speaker 1:

Like she liked for me, she liked to dress, to dress properly, to dress in a conservative manner, but a manner that showed her strength. Even when she was in sweatpants and socks and sneakers, she was coordinated from head to toe. Her hair was always done. She was. I grew up going to the hairdresser every two weeks and that was who she was. That was what she did. I hated it. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to. You know, I didn't want to be coordinated from head to toe. I'm still struggling with that today. I just want to look like who I want to look like, and some days that's kind of bummy and some days it's really dressed up. But I have realized that there was a standard that she set and so I have to honor that.

Speaker 1:

After my mother died, I realized that her life had really meant something to so many people and it wasn't recognized. It wasn't, it didn't seem to be important to other people. But then I thought about if that was the case when we'd go shopping or we'd be somewhere. Someone would come up to her and say Mrs Wimberly, you were my third grade teacher and you did this for me. You opened this door for me. You made me think about these things when she taught at Meredith. As one of the first black educators at Meredith College, she helped the few black women who were there at the time. They would come to our house. She would mentor them. When I nominated her for the Raleigh Hall of Fame and I asked Linda Coleman, who was running for lieutenant governor at the time, if she would narrate the video about my mother, and one of the things that she said was how much of a mentor my mother was to her. And I thought about all the other people that mama had mentored, that she would spend time with, that were male and female, black and white, and even when she helped as a teacher to desegregate the school system, how she had teachers and parents who would come back later and say that she had done this and that that had opened their eyes or helped them learn either more about their children or more about the things that they were doing or opened up a whole new way of life for them in terms of race and dealing with people.

Speaker 1:

She made a difference in the lives of a lot of people, but that just wasn't acknowledged, and I'm not thinking about people, but that just wasn't acknowledged. And I'm not thinking about, you know, at her funeral, when the church was packed. But how do we acknowledge the value and how do we honor the value of people who were part of our family and people who helped to undergird the systems that we've had to live with? And so I have made a decision to honor my mother by giving a dinner, hosting a dinner next year, on April 25th of 2025, which would have been her 95th birthday. But I realized, as I was looking around and reading through the things that she did, that while she was elected to do some things, there were so many other women who, in Raleigh, north Carolina, alone, undergirded the educational system, the community and social system, community and social system, the fabrics that create the history of the city of Raleigh, and some who created some of the fabrics for the country, the state, that never got their due. So how do we put that into the historical record? So, for me as part of this dinner I am hosting, I am going to write a book.

Speaker 1:

I have been researching women. One of the things that just struck me was Oprah's Legends Ball. She hosted a ball that just started out as a luncheon because after she had celebrated her birthday and she had invited women for her birthday, she realized some women that she left out, I think, starting with Cecily Tyson, and so she said, oh, I need to invite Cecily Tyson to lunch. And then she thought about some other women she had left out and the luncheon grew and grew to a weekend and she invited what she called legends and she invited youngins. Youngins were the people who had had doors opened for them by the legends, and the legends were in all different categories and walks of life, and it ended up being a Friday luncheon and then a Saturday ball and a Sunday gospel brunch, and I was so amazed at that and I just thought there's so many women I would love to honor, and that was probably 20 years ago.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to write a book about the women that I have pulled into a spreadsheet. I have about 200 women on my list and the list continues to grow. 200 women on my list and the list continues to grow. I was just going to do a dinner honoring my mother. Someone said to me you really don't have time for that. If you're going to do this, you need to do this. Do it bigger than that Honor 15 or 20 women. And then it was oh, honor 100 women. And it's grown to 200.

Speaker 1:

And I have found women from the 1800s that I can honor, whose families may not know that they did things and they may not have done a lot, but some of the women were entrusted with things like money at church and it was an ad in a newspaper. In the 1800s, black women white women for that matter were not necessarily said told you can collect money for something for church at that period of time and then to put an ad with their names in it in the newspaper that says something about who they were. And I want these women to have recognition and the only way to recognize it and make sure that others recognize it is to have it in a written record somewhere. So there's going to be a book. It's important If we only teach our young people that five or six women did things in the scheme of 50 or 60 men. While that might be true it's not all the truth, and so I'm going to honor women, starting with my mama.

Speaker 1:

So who can you honor? Who do you need to honor? Who made a path for you, whether they knew you or whether they didn't? How can you recognize that person? How can you honor them? Are you on Facebook? Can you do a Facebook post? Can you just write out who made a path for you? Their name can be big or their name can be little in our genre of talking about people, but honor them. They can be men, they can be women. Shoot, sometimes I look at things children do and I think I don't have the nerve to do that. You have given me opportunity to do something that I haven't done before, and you were willing to open yourself up to doing it and to letting other people know about it, letting other people know about it.

Speaker 1:

Who can you honor? How can you honor? Do a Facebook post, do an Instagram reel, do something on LinkedIn to talk about somebody who opened the door for you in your work relationships or in how you do your work or in what you studied. Those things are important. We don't just fall into stuff. Sometimes we fall behind what somebody else did. We follow behind what they did and it's important to acknowledge them. They could be alive, they could be dead, but when you do it, I want you to tag me, whether you're on Facebook, linkedin, instagram. I know I'm on those things, I'm probably on a few more, but will you tag me If you're on Facebook?

Speaker 1:

Will you tag Carmen W Coffin? If you're on Instagram, will you tag the Carmen Coffin? If you're on LinkedIn, will you tag the Carmen Coffin? If you're on LinkedIn, will you tag Carmen Coffin? Because I want to know who you honored and how you honored them and what they did that made a difference for you, because there's somebody, at least one, somebody that has caught your attention and helped you to move forward, just like my mom did for me. And my mom's not the only woman. Like I told you, I found 150, almost 200 elders who have paved the way for me and some young'uns who have paved the way for me and some young'uns, and even though I'm 65, I'm a young'un, but I'm going to put myself in the legend category because people tell me I inspire them all the time and it blows me away. But that's part of what happens when you're quiet. No more. You've been listening to Quiet no More, where I share my journey so you can be quiet.