Quiet No More

Breathing Again: How I Reclaimed My Space

• Carmen Cauthen

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Breaking the silence around hoarding, this raw and honest episode explores my personal journey from being overwhelmed by possessions to finding freedom through purposeful decluttering.

After years of accumulation, I invited help to organize my space into clear categories—new items by the door, barely-used items for sale, craft supplies, and more. The process revealed not just the physical weight of my belongings, but the emotional burden I'd been carrying. When my helper told me "it all has value," something clicked. Rather than simply hauling everything to Goodwill, I needed to honor the investment I'd made in these possessions.

This revelation led me to connect with local teachers who desperately needed classroom supplies. As a former PTA president, I knew educators often dig into their own pockets to provide for students. My Honda Pilot, filled to capacity multiple times with supplies I'd hoarded for decades, became a treasure trove for an entire school. The Christmas gifts stockpiled in my "Christmas closet" became a private shopping experience for friends still looking for presents, with each person paying what they felt items were worth.

The transformation wasn't just in my physical space. When Christmas came, I didn't need to hide clutter behind bedroom doors or struggle with overstuffed closets. I felt proud welcoming people into my home. Most importantly, I developed a new relationship with consumption, asking myself purposeful questions before bringing new items home: "Do I really need this? Where specifically will I use it? When will I put it in place?"

If you've ever felt buried under possessions or struggled to let go, know that freedom is possible. The journey requires honesty, help, and finding meaningful ways to honor the value of our things while releasing their hold on us. Join the conversation and share your own experiences with letting go—because we've been quiet about hoarding for far too long.

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Carmen Wimberley Cauthen is an author, speaker, and lover of history, Black history in particular. As a truth teller, she delights in finding the hidden truths about the lives of people who made a difference - whether they were unknown icons or regular everyday people.

To Learn more of Carmen:
www.carmencauthen.com
www.researchandresource.com

Speaker 1:

Unseen, unheard. We've lived like that far too long. I'm Carmen Coffin and this is Quiet, no More. Hi, I want to talk a little bit more about hoarding because I know I'm not the only person who's dealing with it.

Speaker 1:

I actually took pictures of the stuff after it had been organized, after someone came in and created categories to put things in. So the categories were things like brand new items and they were by the front door so they could go out the door. Things that were used but barely used that could be sold, as well as those things that needed to go out the door. Bags of trash that can be thrown away, papers that need to be gone through, to be gone through Boxes, boxes that we put papers in. One box had unopened mail. One box had books. One box had papers that I needed to go through personally and figure out what to do with Putting light things together Magazines.

Speaker 1:

In an area I am crafty, I had a whole section of craft stuff and my friend said I had no idea you did this much craft stuff. She didn't know that I create flower arrangements and make wreaths and whatever I want to do is crafty. I do it when I have time, usually at this point in my life for a specific purpose, but that's what I do and I still buy stuff to do that. I used to teach scrapbooking, so I have all the scrapbooking stuff as well. So she organized everything into specific areas. And then this was an important lesson for me she told me I could not give my things away to Goodwill. I could not just haul it out and put it in the trunk of the car and haul it to Goodwill or the rescue mission or any of those other places. Because this is the lesson it all has value. It all has value. It all had value. She said you paid for these things, just like your time is valuable and you need to get paid for your time. She said you can sell it or whatever, but what you do with it has to be valuable. And so I tried selling and I put one thing online to sell and within a few hours I had 126 requests to buy it, which was way overwhelming. I could not handle that. So I was like I can't do this.

Speaker 1:

So I had to figure out other ways to get rid of things, and not only as the child of an educator, but having been involved actively for probably 15 years in PTA. I know that teachers don't get enough money in their salaries for the supplies that sometimes their students need or for the things that they need to make their classrooms work better, and so they will go into their pockets and figure out how to make stuff work. I had I had so many containers that once we emptied them out and put things in organized sections, I didn't need those anymore. And I know that when I was PTA president, when my oldest daughter was in fifth grade, we had students who couldn't afford school supplies, and I always had extra school supplies. I was not going to run out. I'm not coming home from work and you have a project and you say I need to go to Staples, I need to go to Walmart, I need to go get colored pencils or poster board. I didn't have time for that.

Speaker 1:

So, as I said in my previous podcast, when the school supplies went on sale at the beginning of the year, in July or August, we stocked up, literally. I had a bin that was about a foot deep by a foot wide. That was nothing but highlighters, because I had bought that many. I mean it was full. I had pencils.

Speaker 1:

I have given stuff away in the past, but at our school, the PTA. They were not necessarily pleased about it, but we bought a cabinet and put it in the teacher teacher's lounge and we would fill it with supplies. I would ask other parents to bring supplies. We had a certain amount of money that we put towards maybe $200 towards buying supplies and putting them in that cabinet so that teachers, if a student needed something and didn't have it, they could go get it out of the supply cabinet for their students and they didn't have to go in their pockets. They didn't have to. The students didn't have to be embarrassed by not having something and there was no stipulations on whether a student had to not be able to afford it or if they just didn't have it with them. And so even after my children left elementary school, I still carried supplies to that school.

Speaker 1:

So some of these things were I've had for 20 years. I had paper that I had unwrapped, not paper for printing, necessarily, but certain types of paper brochure paper or specialty papers that I had used for something and maybe bought too much. I had all of those things still. So I found a teacher in a classroom that I knew who needed. They needed supplies, they needed organizational things, and I took some pictures of some of the things I had and I sent out an email to about 15 or 20 people and said do you need any of this stuff? If so, 15 or 20 people and said do you need any of this stuff? If so, I'm willing to donate it to a good purpose. So that was giving value for me. That was having value. That wasn't just hauling it somewhere so somebody else could sell it.

Speaker 1:

I knew that this was going to be used for good purpose and I filled up the back of my car with stuff and carried it to the school, and she was able to share it with her team. There were some things I had pictures of that I had not carried to her. So she came to my house the next day and she filled up her car the rest of the front seat, the back seat and the trunk with stuff to take back for her school, for her teachers and students to use. She was not only able to share with her team, but she was able to share with other teachers in her school. And then I carried another load to her the next day. Now, mind you, I have a Honda Pilot. I have a big space to load stuff in and I was able to do that and I was happy because I had already spent the money. It wasn't like I was trying to get the money back, but the value of it and the importance for me to be able to share, because I'm a giver at heart and so it was an important thing for me to be able to do. But then I just worked on my office.

Speaker 1:

I knew that Christmas closet that I had. I have bought Christmas ahead for all ages, all generations, for years, and so I went and took all the stuff out, figured out who was getting what for Christmas and everything that was left over. I decided to have a private sale. I put things like I had a store. I sent out some photos to another group of people and said if you still need to do some Christmas shopping, come here. And I gave dates and times that I was available and I had people come who had not started their Christmas shopping two weeks before Christmas I'm normally done by June and they shopped and I didn't price anything. I told them to pay me what it was worth to them and I got all that stuff out of the house. What was left over, that was what I took to Goodwill. It might've been a different thrifting company, but that is what I took.

Speaker 1:

But I felt better and I felt lighter. And when I hosted Christmas dinner and had a Christmas party at my house, I didn't have to go hide stuff in my bedroom. I didn't have to try to jam things in closets where the doors wouldn't open. I was pleased and I was proud to have stuff in my space and I didn't mind people coming to my house. It made a difference. It made a difference to the weight the mental and the emotional weight that I had. And I've spent time before I go to buy something now thinking do I really need that? Do I really want to have that? Where specifically am I going to use it and when am I going to put that in place? And I feel freer, and so I'm not going to be quiet anymore when I'm talking about hoarding or hauling and keeping stuff that you don't need. Thanks, thanks.