Growth Drivers

You’re Not Ready for Success If You Can’t Handle This…

• Mike & Rachael Novak

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Most people crumble under criticism. But what if it could be your superpower?

In this episode of Growth Drivers, we’re breaking down how to take criticism—yes, even the petty, misplaced, ego-driven kind—and turn it into fuel for growth.

Because if you’re building something real, someone is going to come for you. That’s not a sign to stop—it’s proof you’re on the right path.

We’re sharing: 

 — Why the loudest critics usually reveal more about themselves than about you
 — How to tell the difference between helpful feedback and noise
 — The one mindset shift that turns setbacks into stepping stones
 — How to stay grounded in your mission when the opinions start flying
 — What real resilience looks like (hint: it’s not pretending you don’t care)

If you’re a leader, creator, or anyone who’s ever been misunderstood for choosing a bigger life—this one’s for you.

Hit play, stand tall, and let’s grow through the fire.

Want more strategies, insights, and real talk on building a business and life you love?

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Mike Novak:

If you know deep down what you're doing is the right thing to do, then whatever anyone else says doesn't matter.

Rachael Novak:

But at the end of the day, like how we perform day to day is not our identity. That isn't who we are. It is what we do.

Mike Novak:

Welcome to the Growth Drivers Podcast, the show where we break down the leadership frameworks, mindset shifts, and strategies that fuel entrepreneurial success, personal transformation, and business breakthroughs.

Rachael Novak:

I'm Rachel Novak.

Mike Novak:

And I'm Mike Novak.

Rachael Novak:

Let's dive in and start driving your growth. All right, welcome back to the Growth Drivers Podcast, Mike and Rachel Novak. Today we are talking about handling criticism and how to turn negative feedback into growth. So I'm going to start by saying you're not always going to be liked, especially if you're leading people or leading anything. There are going to be people, businesses, individuals, employees, past employees, competitors, anybody who may not like you. But if you're building something meaningful, that criticism is literally guaranteed, right? If you are building something with heart behind it, with a mission, there's going to be people who disagree with you. So get over that right now so now now becomes how you handle that criticism how you handle negative feedback is going to determine how you grow how you evolve how you lead how you last how your business does.

Mike Novak:

Right and i'm going to tell you this too like the more decisive you are and the louder you are as a leader the harsher you're going to be judged right when you make hard-ass decisions that are polarizing that's where you get some of the hate right but like Like as a leader, you know, you have to be compelled into those decisions, right? Like you have to know with conviction that what you're doing is the right thing. You have to be able to handle that heat.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly.

Mike Novak:

But like the bigger the decision, the more the hate you're going to get.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, 100%. So, you know, this episode would be for, you know, for the woman building a business while raising a family, right? You're going to get shit from people in business. You're going to get shit from people about being a mom. It's for the man, for the warrior who's leading a team, who may also be the stay-at-home parent. I've had a couple of those in our lives. Or on a mission for something, or building a business, or doing a startup. You know, we are all facing challenging interactions all the time. So clients, you know, nitpicking, or clients with big struggles that take it out on us, right, in some way. Teammates or colleagues who talk shit or talk behind your back. Friends, acquaintances who mean well, but they may say things or say things behind your back that cut a little deep, right? Or that have... Not the best intentions, right? Or maybe they, to your face are nice, it's just the worst. To your face are nice and then are not defending your name behind your back. So we all deal with those all the time. And like you said, if you're leading anything meaningful, you're building anything big, that's going to get exposed.

Mike Novak:

So you're going to have people that love you and you have people that hate your guts.

Rachael Novak:

Yep. And that means you're probably doing something successful. Like it probably means you've reached some level of success. So this episode is really about how to use all that tension, that criticism as fuel to keep going and to keep building and not fire to burn it all down. Okay, so that's where we're coming from. So first things first, we've got to understand the source. So if you're getting criticism from somebody or negative feedback from somebody, not all this criticism is created equal. So first you have to ask, where is this coming from? What is the source of this criticism? Are they somebody that loves me? Are they somebody that I love? Are they somebody that even knows me? Are they somebody who wants the best for me? Or are they just somebody with zero context of who you are throwing or hurling some sort of criticisms at you? Right? The source matters.

Mike Novak:

Which is what it is about 98% of the time online, right?

Rachael Novak:

Correct.

Mike Novak:

Correct.

Rachael Novak:

Or if it's coming from somebody that you do know and knows you, is it possibly coming from a place of insecurity in them? Are they potentially projecting their insecurities, their failures, their fears onto you? Are they fearful or they've experienced failure in some way that they now need to project out because they're seeing it? An example would be in 2006, 2007, when you and I purchased this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, and the crash was happening in the economic landscape in the housing market. I had been working with a couple of real estate agents at an office in Bellingham. And one of the agents, I told him, hey, you know, my husband and I are my boyfriend, and I at the time. Boyfriend and I bought this restaurant we're gonna kind of start pouring some energy into this you know and really that's kind of the direction we're trying to go and his first response was, well you know most restaurants fail so if you need a job in a couple of years like don't come back to me, it was like uh. Thanks for the support you know but it was his own projection right his own insecurity his own fears he had had a dream of owning this little like cafe for a really long time never came to fruition he'd been working on it for like six years so it was really his own insecurities and projections coming at me and i never took it with the i mean i took it with a grain of salt of course the time but like know the source like where is that criticism coming from and don't take it at face value, really think about it. Like, is that somebody that I care about? Is it something that cares about me? Are they bringing up their own insecurities or fears or projections? And is it coming out at me as a criticism? Because that's a really important part of this.

Mike Novak:

Yeah. I mean, as I think about that, like you're talking about kind of creating a lens and a filter for what with which to look at criticism from, right? Like, how do I know if what's being thrown my way is something I should spend any time or worry about, or if it's something that I should just ignore.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly.

Mike Novak:

Right? That's kind of where you're getting at.

Rachael Novak:

Right? 100%, yeah.

Mike Novak:

And so I think the single most important thing for that is conviction and integrity with oneself, right? If you know deep down what you're doing is the right thing to do, then whatever anyone else says doesn't matter.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly.

Mike Novak:

Like the story is actually just done right there.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly.

Mike Novak:

Like whatever they're saying, it's completely irrelevant, even if they're close to you. Like, I mean, I felt judged by my family lots of times for what I do in business. You know what I mean? Like they don't understand it. They say weird comments sometimes that like they could be hurtful if I didn't take them in the context that they have no idea what they're talking about. But it's just that filter that you build, right? So like there's, there's less than three or four people that I care about feedback from at all on anything. You know what I'm saying? And it's, it's different for different parts of my life. So for like my body domain, there's a couple people I will really listen to the feedback on. Like I'll listen to Chris and I'll listen to AJ. On, on business, there's like one or two people, that's it that I will listen to that. I'll actually take that constructive feedback and criticism from like Mark Gellman's a good example. Like when Mark says, Hey, um, I'm seeing this, you should do this. I'm like, okay, I should probably look at that.

Rachael Novak:

Right.

Mike Novak:

You know, like Mark, Mark's got mock marks kind of going on.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah.

Mike Novak:

Well, like it balanced, you know, I think a lot about Garrett and like what he's doing with, with, you know, his family and his, um, with his, his being and everything else too. You know what I mean? Like pulling that all together and having all, all for it, I mean, it's conquered. So I I think a lot of it is having different people that are meaningful and impactful to you in the different domains and then shutting out the rest of the noise. Because if you take everyone's feedback and you just hear it all equally, you're just going to be in this tailspin of self-doubt, right? Like you're never actually going to break through in anywhere you're trying to go. And it doesn't really matter if someone else believes that you can do what you're going to do. It just matters that you believe it.

Rachael Novak:

That's exactly right. Yeah. So, yeah, it is a filter, right? Like you have to filter. Is this coming from a source that I trust? No. like, is this somebody that is mirroring what I want to become? Like, are they accomplishing something that I also want to have? They do have a proven track record of expertise in this particular area that they're giving me criticism.

Mike Novak:

Right. That right there is maybe the best part of the filter. Have they done what I want to do? Apply that to the body domain. Have they been a competitive bodybuilder? No. Then you're dead to me. I don't even care what you have to say, right? Have you, have you built a nine figure business? No, then I don't care what you have to say. You know what I mean? Like you haven't been where I want to go. And so I don't care what your opinion It's just noise to me. It's irrelevant. It means nothing to me.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly. That's exactly right. So second one I love. So anytime that you're getting this criticism, so say, say, say it comes in and you filtered it. Okay. Now I, instead of taking it personally, I'm going to take it professionally. So don't take it personally, take it professionally. And what I mean by that? We identify, especially high achievers, high performers, we are going to constantly identify as the work that we do, right? Like we are so proud of the work that we do. It's like our little baby. Like we've created this little thing and this little thing is like our identity because we've created it. But at the end of the day, like how we perform day to day is not our identity. That isn't who we are. It is what we do, right? And so taking something professionally instead of personally means how can I actually take this criticism or this feedback and apply it somehow positively, right? Most emotional reactions, which would be responding, taking something personally from some feedback, especially if it's somebody that you don't know, like trust or, you know, just giving you criticism, taking it personally, that's going to come from ego. That's going to come from a place of defensiveness of saying, well, I'm so proud of my product or my performance that now like screw you. And that's coming from ego. It's not necessarily coming from the truth of the matter.

Mike Novak:

Right. I think about Tim Grover in the book Relentless. If you've read Relentless, this is going to resonate with you. But he talks about the differences between closers and cleaners, right? And the cleaners, they just don't give a shit what people have to say, right? They know who they are, they know what they're doing, and they just shut out all of the noise. That's the part that really resonates to me.

Rachael Novak:

Mm-hmm. That's absolutely true. So as a leader, as somebody who's creating something, who's building something, who's working to... Follow their mission and their purpose in life whatever that is in your business especially, you have to learn to listen to that feedback without internalizing it and identifying as it right so i think that's what a lot of people do is they will get some sort of criticism in their head especially early on they'll get some sort of criticism or feedback in their head and that criticism feedback will play back over and over and over on a loop anytime doubt creeps in, and you have you have to not let you have to not internalize that what.

Mike Novak:

What about the people that can flip the script and they can take that criticism and it becomes the fuel.

Rachael Novak:

To prove.

Mike Novak:

That person wrong.

Rachael Novak:

Well that that's exactly it.

Mike Novak:

That's like tell me like tell me i can't do something.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah and.

Mike Novak:

Mother i'm gonna go do it.

Rachael Novak:

And that's and you just you just you just.

Mike Novak:

Completely gave me the energy and the fuel i needed.

Rachael Novak:

Exactly because you told me i can't do it well and that's That was the, a big part of the fire that you and I have worked from a lot, right? When we've had a lot of critics, we can't do that. Good luck with that. Like most people fail this, this, and this. Okay. Thank you for the challenge. I'm up for it. Right? Like I, we thrive when we're told that we can't do something because it's just more motivation for us to go do it.

Mike Novak:

Guess what's getting me out of the bed every morning?

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, your voice.

Mike Novak:

Yeah, exactly. You telling me I couldn't do it.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, exactly. So don't take it personally. Take it professionally. How can we apply it? Do not internalize it. The next one is an interesting point that I kind of came up with, which is clean up what's yours. And let me explain this. Criticism and feedback stings the most and it even will trigger where there's some truth. So in business for instance if you're a real estate agent or you're a team leader and uh you maybe criticize or give feedback to one of your agents about their lack of performance right or lack of action or you're an agent and somebody in your world has kind of called you on hey are you taking this action are you doing these things if you immediately feel defensive and emotional or or, guarded because of that feedback, it might be because there's some truth to it. It might be because you also know you aren't putting in the effort or you're not doing the things that you know you need to be doing. And there is some truth to it. So if it hits a nerve, right, if that criticism hits a nerve in you, if it triggers something that feels like an emotional kind of reaction, ask yourself, is this exposing a blind spot?

Mike Novak:

I think the way to know that is like is what this person's saying like is it inflaming my emotion immediately or is it just kind of like pissing me off because if it's inflaming my emotion they've hit a nerve yeah right and there's probably an error of truth i need to examine there yeah exactly but if it's just like general dipshittery and i'm like you're kind of an idiot and kind of mad now you know like there's a big difference there's a big difference you see what i'm saying like but if i'm like triggered i'm like that guy you know what i mean like that that's where i should probably do a little more self-examination because something just hit.

Rachael Novak:

That's a good point so there's there's kind of two levels of it right if it's like an immediate knee-jerk emotional reaction where you're like.

Mike Novak:

Yeah that's probably hitting.

Rachael Novak:

A nerve there's probably some truth to that feedback or criticism whereas if you're just kind of like that's a dick thing to say like you're a jerk.

Mike Novak:

I think about like an agent on our team right like the person doesn't make enough phone calls during the week that they committed to right and you call them out and you're like hey you didn't make the phone calls you're supposed to make what's going on you know what i mean and they're that that's like helpful constructive feedback they're going to look at that and be like okay i did make that commitment right like so you're not like attacking the person who's calling out the behavior is the difference of.

Rachael Novak:

Course yeah absolutely, So if it's yours, if there's a shred of truth to that, that criticism, and it stings a little bit, examine, is this a blind spot I need to address? Okay? Love this one. Detach from critics. Attach to coaches. So you kind of already brought this up a little bit. We kind of already discussed it. But, you know, letting random people, letting random critics, you know, online keyboard warriors or people that you don't even know, criticize you or give you feedback that's negative and attack you and then taking any of that as truth is not going to help you. What is going to help you is attaching to people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, right? And if I'm getting feedback, or any sort of level of any kind of criticism from somebody who's actually accomplished what I'm trying to do, I'm going to take that as constructive coaching, right? Because they obviously nobody, nobody who's accomplished more than you in a certain area is going to actually criticize what you're doing. They will provide feedback and possibly accountability if they care about you enough.

Mike Novak:

And the pro tip here, think twice about hiring a coach or a mentor that hasn't done what you want to do.

Rachael Novak:

100%. That should be a filter in everybody's world before they go pay somebody money. Have you done what I want to do? Have you accomplished what I want to accomplish? Are you living a life that I could see myself emulating? That's absolutely true. So make sure that you're choosing those voices, you're choosing those people in your life. And even if they're not a paid coach, but they're a mentor, they're somebody that you listen to or go to for things, make sure that they sharpen you, right? When you talk to them, make sure that criticism and that feedback sharpens you. It doesn't shame you. Okay, really important. And then of course, this last one, which you already touched on is turning feedback into fuel. So all, I love this quote, great leaders are made in conflict, comfort so if you're getting criticism if you're getting feedback and there there is positive that you can take from it which sometimes is the positive is using the negative from that feedback in order to drive the action toward whatever you know you're trying to accomplish that is using that conflict to accomplish something right it's not living in that when.

Mike Novak:

I think about like the difference between average and exceptional, that's like one of the biggest differences, I think, is that somebody gets some feedback and if they're average, it just leads to self-doubt.

Rachael Novak:

It crumbles them.

Mike Novak:

It's in the back of their mind and it just destroys them, like eats at them. Yeah, it completely just destroys them, like you're saying. And the elite is just rocket fuel. You know what I mean? Like, thank you. That was a huge gift you just gave me.

Rachael Novak:

Right? Yes.

Mike Novak:

That's a huge difference.

Rachael Novak:

And I've seen that many, many times with a lot of people in our life, right? Where you and i you and i will hold the people that we care about a lot to a very high standard and we will confront them on things that are very uncomfortable um but we do it out of love and the people who respond in a way of thank you like thank you i needed that wake-up call i needed i needed to hear that from somebody you're totally right i was being too comfortable i wasn't living my potential whatever it is those are the people that will accomplish something great the people that go, fuck you, you're mean. Why are you, why would you say that? You're so mean, you just want me to, yeah, those are not our people.

Mike Novak:

And the core of that is, again, that internal integrity, right? Like if you know deep down who you are and what you're doing and how you're doing it is within integrity of yourself, you're good. You know what I mean? That's what sets you up to use that for fuel versus crumbling you. Crumbling you means that you're self-doubting if these things are actually true or not. But if you have that integrity, it's not even a question.

Rachael Novak:

That's exactly right. Yes. Great point. Yep. And this last quote that I absolutely that I shared with you before we started recording here was, you'll never become what you're called to be if you can't take a punch without falling apart. You're going to take punches. You're going to lose a few teeth. You're going to get bloody. There's going to be some scars on your knuckles too. Business is not for the weak. Accomplishing something great is not for the weak. You've got to take punches. You've got to be okay getting hit seven times and getting up that eighth time. This is part of it. That's part of the life of accomplishing anything fun or good or successful or being successful in any area is being able to take some punches.

Mike Novak:

I've yet to meet anyone that is successful that hasn't gotten knocked down. And most of them multiple times. And the difference between the people that stay down and the people that get up is just that resilience, right? That they're not done. Like it's not, this is not the book of my life. It's a chapter in the book, right?

Rachael Novak:

Yes.

Mike Novak:

And the next chapter I'm about to write, so watch out.

Rachael Novak:

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, that's exactly what my kind of like last thought was, was, you know, The criticism is going to come, but it's that resilience, right? Having a resilient heart, having a resilient mind, living in full integrity with the actions that you're taking in your business, the actions that you're taking in your marriage and with your kids' relationships, with your body, with your being. You get to decide what crushes you, what obliterates you, or what crafts you and molds you and evolves you into the next version of yourself.

Mike Novak:

Yeah, really good. I love it.

Rachael Novak:

Love it. All right, guys. so quick call to action here share this episode with somebody if they find some value in it if you were inspired at all if something resonated share it with somebody who might need encouragement or hard lesson if they're in a deep season and need to be opening that chapter and then hit us up on instagram i'm at rachel novak michael and.

Mike Novak:

I'm at the real mike novak.

Rachael Novak:

It always throws.

Mike Novak:

Me off because yours is different than.

Rachael Novak:

Mine i know because you got in early. I did. Yep. So if you've got any recent criticism that was turned into a win, screenshot this podcast, put it in your stories and tag us with how you are growing from that criticism. I'd really, really love to hear this. So we'll see you next time.

Mike Novak:

See you next week. That's a wrap on today's episode of Growth Drivers.

Rachael Novak:

If you found value in this conversation, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share this with a fellow entrepreneur.

Mike Novak:

For more insights, tools and resources, visit us at thewarrioragent.com.

Rachael Novak:

Keep pushing forward, keep leading with purpose, and we'll see you next time.