Why Being the Chief Everything Officer is Killing Your Career with Alli Murphy

In this episode, we sit down with Alli, founder of Work and Thrive HQ, to talk about how you can get trapped in the Chief Everything Officer role where you’re being the default for everything, saying yes by default, stepping in because it’s faster, and staying constantly available until you burn out.

Alli shares how she hit that point as a young director during COVID, working nonstop and realizing she needed outside coaching to change. We break down why “always being on” is one of the sneakiest parts of the loop, how it can feel like good leaders, and how it keeps your nervous system and your team stuck.

You’ll also hear practical ways to untangle your identity from work, including a “superpowers” outreach exercise, a joy-and-energy audit, and modeling boundaries and self-care openly so you can lead strategically and still have a life.

To connect with Alli:

• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisonmurphy541/)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/itsallimurphy/)
• Work & Thrive HQ (https://itsallimurphy.com/)

Need a little more balance and a lot more badass in your life? Check out my 1:1 coaching sessions designed to help you tackle your biggest challenges, manage stress, and create a personalized plan for success. Your first 30-minute session is free! Visit tarakermiet.com to get started. 

Want to turn your dreams into reality? Check out my 7 Days to Crushing Your Goals mini-course! This course is packed with practical lessons and hands-on activities designed to help you define your “why,” leverage your strengths, and take decisive action. By the end, you'll have a clear plan and the tools you need to crush your goals. Visit tarakermiet.com/crushyourgoals to join the course and start making things happen! 

Transcript

Tara: [00:00:00] Hey, hey, welcome back to the Balanced Badass Podcast. My guest this week is Alli, a leadership coach and also founder of Work and Thrive hq. She's also the person behind a concept that I have a feeling is gonna stop a lot of you mid listen and say, huh, that's probably me. Um, so I'm really excited. Alli and I have connected through LinkedIn and just have continued to blossom our friendship.

But I love about. You, Alli, is that you work specifically with women directors and above who are done being the default for everything and you call it the Chief Everything officer.

Alli Murphy: I do.

Tara: what we're gonna get into today. So, um, you know, welcome to the show, Alli. I'm so excited for this conversation.

Alli Murphy: Thank you. I'm super excited to be here. I mean, you know, I'm one of your biggest fans and

Tara: Ditto.

Alli Murphy: I am not running a podcast right now. So getting to be a guest and still kind of scratch that itch is so much fun. So I'm honored to [00:01:00] be here.

Tara: Yeah. Well, I'm excited. So let's get started. Uh, my favorite question is always the icebreaker question, and that is, what are you loving in your life right now?

Alli Murphy: Oh my gosh. So, so many things. Uh, I mean, my puppy, my time with my husband, all that stuff. But when you said it, two things immediately popped into my head. One you can totally laugh at. Uh, but at the time of recording the second half of the last Bridgeton season came out, so I kid you not, I started my day yesterday and I hadn't slept while I was like not getting a workout in the morning.

So I sat on the couch. I, I like getting up early, so I sat on the couch and watch an episode of Bridger Tune at six in the morning. So I'm excited to watch the rest of that season. And the second thing that came to mind is. I love to read and I kid you not. I have probably five books that I'm reading at once right now between nonfiction and fiction.

And for my birthday, my husband took me out to go get an armchair, and so now I have a reading nook in our living room that [00:02:00] I was just an empty corner for longer than I would like to admit. And now I've got a chair and a little light and a little bookshelf, and I am just so happy under a blanket sitting there reading my books.

Tara: I love it. I love it. I saw like you had posted a story the other

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: you and Moose sitting on the chair and I was like, oh my God. That it's like, that's the life,

Alli Murphy: It's a cute chair too,

Tara: it is a

Alli Murphy: and it's comfy.

Tara: Yeah. I love that. Um, and yes, Bridgerton, I have not dug into it yet.

Alli Murphy: Highly recommend.

Tara: Maybe this weekend I'll get into it.

I don't know. We'll see. But it's a very obviously in great show regardless. So I've missed it. I feel like it's been way too long.

Alli Murphy: Yeah. I also, this is not the topic of the podcast at all, but it drives me bonkers how they only give you half of the season and then they make you a wait a month or something, and then the other half, and I'm like, I'm an only child. I am not the most patient human in the world. I've come a long way, but like, gimme the damn episodes.

Tara: I know, I know. I feel the same way because especially like you can just like breeze right through them. And I know that's why they do it, but

Alli Murphy: Yeah,

Tara: can't survive in like real TV world where you have to wait a week for a show, like, or episodes. Like, I can't, I can't do

Alli Murphy: it's a lot.

Tara: It's not

Alli Murphy: We don't have cable.

Tara: No. I mean, we, we have YouTube tv, that's what we use,

Alli Murphy: Same.

Tara: even watch it like.

Alli Murphy: We have it for sports games. My husband loves football. That's

Tara: four

Alli Murphy: it is football central and that's about it.

Tara: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And news sometimes, although lately not at all. Anyways, let's talk about the Chief Everything officer, because I just love this because one, you have been there and have been this person, um, I mean by a fairly young age with like 28 or something you had. title, you [00:03:00] had the team, you had the salary that we all dream of, and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Uh, based on what you've shared. So what was that moment that you realized something had to change and that you were kind of operating in this Chief Everything officer mindset.

Alli Murphy: I didn't have a term for it at the time. I literally came up with this name for it, I don't know, a couple months ago now. But yeah, by 28 I had a director level title. I was running a team. I made six figures. I was important or so it felt. And yet I also became a director in the middle of COVID. So there were people who were let go.

I was in a matrixed organization. I got promoted, we were understaffed. There was uncertainty left and right, and as the, I call myself a recovering people pleaser and a recovering perfectionist. And so as it was less recovering, then let's be real. Those parts of me came out because I wanted, I've always been ambitious.

I've always been a high achiever. I was like, [00:04:00] I wanna do, well, I just got promoted. These are all the things that I'm gonna do. And that meant that I was trying to pivot our entire event strategy from in-person events. You can't do an in-person event in the middle of COVID to virtual. Before anybody knew what Zoom was like, I think Skype was still more of the thing.

Tara: Ah, Skype,

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: RIP.

Alli Murphy: to change everything and we were understaffed and. I went into the mode of like, okay, well when the ground's unstable, usually humans do the same. Where we try to grip tighter, we do more. 'cause it feels like control. It feels safer. So that's what I did. I was working around the clock.

I was always available. I was treating my husband like a roommate instead of a husband. He is incredibly patient and a wonderful human, but that is not the proudest moment of my life. And for me, I wish I could say there was one giant moment that was a wake up call. And there was a pretty big one, but it came a lot lighter than I would like to admit.

Like there was a point in time where I worked [00:05:00] two months straight every single day, so including Saturday and Sunday without taking a single day off. And yes, there were some cultural and business expectations baked in there, but there was a lot that I was putting on myself pressure wise as well to do, be handle all the things.

And so at one point, here's a little story for you. We had a new friend group join our friend group in winter. Her name's Carissa, and normally in winter we go skiing at Mount Bachelor every weekend. It's 30 minutes from my friend tour, and so four weekends in a row, my husband and all of our friends go skiing with Carissa.

And I never go because I'm either working through the whole weekend or I'm so tired from working the morning of a Saturday and a Sunday that I don't wanna do anything. I just wanna rot on the couch. And so I kid you not, he comes home one day. I am laying. On our bed staring at the wall or at the ceiling going, is this what a director is like?

What have I succeeded my way into? [00:06:00] There's got to be a better way. This is not okay. I was waking up at two in the morning thinking about work all the time, all the things, and he comes home and it's a joke, but he is like, so Chris has said something today and I go, what? I haven't met this person yet. And I guess on a chairlift, she turns to him and he go, she goes, Hey tj, I know you say you have this wife named Ally.

But I think you made her up. I think she's a figment of your imagination

and like sitting here now, I'm like, that is so comical. Like, oh yeah. And the fact that she would even say it just makes me laugh. She and I are good friends now.

Tara: Mm-hmm.

Alli Murphy: did actually meet her. I got my life together, but that was really one of the biggest turning points for me. And he went downstairs to go make dinner or tea or coffee or something.

I pulled out my phone and I was like, okay, I've heard of this platform called BetterUp. I need help. So literally right there, I paid for my own coaching. I signed up with a workplace wellbeing coach and was like, I need somebody [00:07:00] external to help me figure this out. 'cause clearly I can't do it by myself right now.

That was my biggest turning moment.

Tara: Yeah, what a, what a moment be like, Hmm, am I a figment of my husband's imagination? And he might have even felt that in some way,

Alli Murphy: Oh yeah,

Tara: right? Sometimes.

Alli Murphy: was worried about me and like he was like, this is not worth waking up at two in the morning being stressed out all the time. Like checking your phone like you're addicted to it or you can't put it down. Yeah.

Tara: When you think about it, like when you're at that age, right? I mean, you still have a lot of ears left in your career. So

Alli Murphy: Yeah. I.

Tara: what life is like for the next three, four decades,

Alli Murphy: I can't do this.

Tara: holy nuggets,

Alli Murphy: can't continue. Like there's got to be a better way.

Tara: Yeah, yeah. So let's get into this now, what you call the chief everything Officer loop.

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: essentially, [00:08:00] right, you say Yes, by default.

Many of us relate to that. many of us step in because it's just easier and faster if we do it. Uh, therefore you defer your own priorities. And stay constantly available to your team and everyone else. And then all of a sudden, here you are, you're so deep in it, you don't even know who the heck you are and you don't know how to climb out which of those five steps.

'cause that's really what kind of you have developed for us. Which of those five steps do you think is the sneakiest? Like which one is the one we gotta keep an eye on?

Alli Murphy: I don't think I'm allowed to say all of them.

Tara: Correct.

Alli Murphy: Like they're all sneaky in their own way, like saying, yes, cascades doing your team's work because it's easier, faster, creates a whole host of problems. If I had to pick one, [00:09:00] what I would go with is the being constantly on or always available. The others are a big issue, but that one I think is the sneakiest because it feels like good leadership.

It feels like you're in control. You often get rewarded and thanked and appreciated for handling the thing, for jumping in quickly, for responding fast. And there's a time and a place for that. Like, yes, there are times where you need to respond quickly. We'll set that aside for a minute. But when you are on all the time, and one like me, you're, there's almost this like inst, I'm staring at my phone.

This is a screener on the table right here. It's almost like this compulsion to like, Ooh, I need to check it and see if anything's gone wrong, or, Ooh, did anything else come in? Your brain never turns off, and if you can't turn your brain off and you can't take a step back. One, you're stressed all the time.

Two, to put it in different terms, your nervous system never gets a break. So you are at a physiological level heightened all the time. And three, because of those things, you're never gonna [00:10:00] be able to take the step back to actually realize, here's what I need to do differently. Like I was so deep in it.

That I couldn't get out of that space without somebody else helping me and without me going, okay, I need some boundaries around this time. That felt terrifyingly scary to put in place at first, but actually made me better at my job. So that's what I would go with. What would you say? I know it's my cycle, but if you had to pick one.

I did. I did.

Tara: okay, let's see. I, I think it is 'cause I'm not gonna pick the same one you did just for. I don't wanna cheat. Um, I would say for me at least, it is the, the stepping in piece because, and, and similar to what you're saying, like Right. It, it feels like it's good leadership, but also I think we all fall into this trap of like, if [00:11:00] I can just get it done. it's done. you know, we're, we're sitting there. If, if you're burnt out and you're stressed, cognitive load is a huge piece of that. And so I know for me, when I was in my corporate role, I. I would rather just get the thing out of my to-do list outta my brain and whatever so that I could move on to the next thing, which is why I think it's pretty sneaky because you think you're doing something good for you, but it's just leaving room for you to say yes by default again, and to jump in and fix something else later

Alli Murphy: also training your team that you will do it for them. Like they don't have to step up. Alli's gonna keep doing it, so I don't need to get better at this. And then you just keep having this cycle of like, sure, it might be faster in that immediate moment, but long term you're basically screwing yourself over and you're keeping your team from learning and growing.

Tara: Yeah. Yeah. And I will often talk with my [00:12:00] clients because a lot of them are in this like middle management or upper management positions, and they're, they're doing that like constantly available. They're. There if, if there, if their people are struggling. This is also, I think, a thing, right? You don't want your people feel the burnout that you're feeling, so you just feel like it's my duty to sponge it for them and to absorb it. But a, that's teaching them that burnout is okay, and that's what we do around here

Alli Murphy: And this is what quote good leadership looks like when that's not true. Yeah.

Tara: paying attention to you whether you like it or not, but also I'm constantly like, I just need you to pause on your responses. Don't go into Slack and be the Slack team hero.

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: Don't answer all the questions. Give them a hot minute to figure it out on their own, because if you're not available, they're, they're [00:13:00] capable. They will figure it it out, like pump the brakes people so.

Alli Murphy: That's such a good point too, because that was part of my experience of like, I'm burnt out. I don't wanna burn my team out. I'm afraid of that, so I'm gonna hold onto more. Part of it was it's easier, it's faster. But the second layer at a different point in time was I don't want them to feel the way that I'm feeling and I have a VP.

Right now who's made this shift? When she came in to work with me, it was the same thing. She was like, I'm burnt out. I'm exhausted. She was literally like, I need my sanity back. Were the words that she used. I need my sanity back. I need to have laughter and joy in my life again. And she was holding on to a bunch of work that shouldn't have been hers because she was afraid of burning her team out.

And yet when we start shifting those things, which takes time, and there's a whole process, her team was actually excited to take on more. And all of them feel better now in this process.

Tara: Yeah. Yeah. Well I think some of this too is part of that identity

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: right? So, you know, a lot of us are. Tying [00:14:00] so much of our identity into being the one who can do everything, who can fix everything for everybody. And you know, you said this earlier, right? We get rewarded for it.

Alli Murphy: Mm-hmm.

Tara: always loved when my reports were like, oh, you're so helpful.

Thank you so much. You're the best boss ever.

Alli Murphy: Yeah. Yeah.

Tara: Thank

Alli Murphy: Well, thank you. I'm so glad you agree.

Tara: Yeah. Um, meanwhile I'm dying on the inside, but you know, it's fine. how do we, 'cause this is something I work with folks day in and day out with. How, how do you help someone start to detangle identity and their self-worth their workload?

Like, what are some recommendations that you have for that? 'cause I'm always looking for help with that too.

Alli Murphy: Yeah. Yeah. Um, so in my, I run a group coaching program and in that we go through four different Rs basically. So the first one is revealing the hidden rules that you're operating by. And so it's, honestly, it's a longer process, but. For those that are [00:15:00] listening are like, that's great, Alli, but I need something Now, there are two things that I would say to think about and maybe go do.

One is a superpowers exercise and so I would have you go send a message. You could do it on the work side too. A lot of people do it on the work side as well, but if you wanna detangle your identity from work, I would go send a message. To people in your life who know you that are not work related, who really care about you.

So maybe that's family members, maybe it's friends, maybe it's mentors, maybe it's somewhere where you volunteer and you're gonna ask them when you think of like, I'm, I got this homework from this podcast, or whatever you wanna say to start this conversation. But you're gonna say to them, I'm, I'm doing some homework to figure out what my superpowers are and I really value your opinion when you think of me not work related.

You could literally put in there, what do you think my superpowers are? And when those come back, there's probably things that you'll recognize and be like, oh yeah, I'm not surprised by that. And there's others in there too. But what it starts to do is it starts to show you, oh my gosh, I am so much [00:16:00] more than just this job or this identity that I've stuck myself into.

Like sometimes, I mean, going back to my whole, I need a better up coach 'cause I don't know what I'm doing. I needed external people at that point in time to help me understand who am I outside of work. 'cause I was so far away from that that I didn't even know. So that's one. Go ask some people not work related two.

One of my absolute favorite exercises is to go do a joy and energy audit. So if you have a piece of paper, I want you to get out a piece of paper and you're gonna have three columns. So the left column is going to be activities that bring you joy and energy in your personal life. So for me, that's dance classes, CrossCountry skiing, reading books, cooking date.

Shopping. Honestly, I really like to shop. That's column one. Column two is on a scale of one to 10, how much joy or energy do they bring you? Are they a five outta 10? Are they a nine outta 10? And then the third column, you're gonna be honest with yourself. You're gonna write down every month, what [00:17:00] is the frequency that you do that?

Is it once a week? Is it two days a month? Is it zero? And what happens is once you're done, you have this piece of paper in front of you and you go, ah, crap. I'm not doing any of these things or I'm doing this one really well, but these three things that are nines I'm not doing at all. And if you're sitting there going, okay, but how does that help me?

Alli one, it helps you realize what are those things? And two, every single time that I have done this, either myself or with a client director level above, et cetera, they always start adding those things back in. They're like, oh, I've given this thing up. I know how much joy it brings me. I'm going to find a way to add this in.

That might mean they have to shift something workwise. They might need to set a boundary. They, they're probably gonna have to do something differently, but when you have it in front of you, you can't sweep it under the rug anymore. And so it's this wake up call to go, okay, I can have a badass career, but I'm gonna have a damn life too.

Tara: Yeah, I like that. [00:18:00] I, a couple things. So I, one of my favorite exercises when I. Started my doctorate program that I later quit. Um,

Alli Murphy: There's a story there I'm curious about later. Can I continue?

Tara: but one of the, I took a leadership course in one of the. Exercises. It was called a reflected best self exercise. So it

Alli Murphy: Hmm.

Tara: similar to what you're doing. Like we had to pick, think it was like five people from different facets of our life.

So we could pick a few professional folks, but also like I chose some like high school friends and those kind of things, and just ask them to write a story of when I was at my best self and

Alli Murphy: Oh, interesting.

Tara: that came back and what I loved is that they were written. So there are things that I have now put in my yay me folder that I

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: whenever I feel like I can't do something. Um, you know, when that imposter syndrome comes in, that's usually when I rely on those. But was what was cool was being able to see [00:19:00] the themes that came out from. Different types of stories and

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: if anybody has listened before, they probably heard me say this, but like what was the wildest thing to me was how many stories I had no recollection of. Like I do not

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: that thing happening, but my friend or colleague or whatever, like very vividly remembered, like the full on details. And I actually, of my best friends from high school. told this lovely story. She wrote like a lovely little narrative about how I helped her. She wanted to try out for cheerleading and I helped her and I was so patient with her and all that.

I do not remember a lick of it. Okay.

Alli Murphy: Yep.

Tara: told her that. I don't remember. But she was, we were visiting with your her like a couple months ago and I was like, I gotta tell you. I don't remember that at all. And she was like, what? She was like, oh my gosh, you were amazing. And like it just goes to show that you never know [00:20:00] other people are picking up on.

So it is really helpful to get that external perspective.

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: Um, and then I wanna add another 'cause. I love these two exercises. I wanna add another one too, that I think adds to last like, joy and energy audit. I always encourage folks. you know, you get the question of like, oh, hey, what do you do when you meet someone new?

Right. And we naturally are gonna be like, oh, I'm director of blah, blah, blah. Or

Alli Murphy: I help people live happier and healthier lives.

Tara: Like, whatever. Um, and I'll say like, when I quit my job and I started going to like networking events and people were to ask me that question, I literally was like the, the, uh, uh, I don't know.

Alli Murphy: Yep.

Tara: I don't even know what to tell you.

So. I now encourage folks that they have to come up with five responses to that question that are completely unrelated to work.

Alli Murphy: Mm-hmm.

Tara: They don't even have to relate to an identity, but if they do, great, and what I make them [00:21:00] do is stand in front of a mirror

Alli Murphy: And practice.

Tara: saying them because the brain connecting to like you saying it and you seeing yourself saying those words is one thing.

It becomes more of a patterned response. But also back to this joy and energy audit, you start to identify as someone, like if I said I enjoy dance, 'cause I do like to dance as well. Then if I'm not dancing, I'm not living up to that identity. So then it starts to trigger in your brain like, oh crap, I identify as someone who enjoys dancing, and yet here I

Alli Murphy: I'm not doing the dang thing. Yeah, I think one of the. This circles everything that we've talked about and how you get there could be the joy and energy audit. It could be different things, but I think one of the most important things for untangling your identity from work is having hobbies and relationships outside of it.

Like relationships are one thing, but I think hobbies in particular, especially when you're starting out with this hobbies that [00:22:00] require your full brain. I was talking to somebody yesterday who started knitting, like, you can't not think about the next stitch or how to cast on or off, or, I don't even know what the terms are.

When you're learning something new, or in my case, it's like I can't not think when I'm gonna go do a sprint workout 'cause I'm gonna break my ankle if I'm not paying attention. And so have a hobby outside of work and if it's really hard for you to disengage that identity or turn the brain off, ideally make it something where your brain is engaged in something else.

Tara: Yeah, forcing that pattern interruption again.

Alli Murphy: Mm-hmm.

Tara: so I also thought it was interesting because you know, we see hobbies and. like to encourage folks if hobbies are too much. 'cause sometimes for some folks, right, the thought of adding something else to your

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: is a lot. So just think. Domains even, doesn't matter, but hobbies, domains, whatever, those are often like self-care pieces, right? gets a bad rap, but [00:23:00] it does have a legit place If you. Choose it for the right reasons and all that kinda stuff. But what I thought was interesting is you shared a story at some point, maybe that was on your website, I don't know, but about one of your clients talking about how she used to practice like secret

Alli Murphy: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tara: felt guilty about it.

Alli Murphy: Yep.

Tara: I one related to that so much and I think a lot of people listening probably could. So why do you think so many of us feel like that that's something that we have to hide?

Alli Murphy: Yeah, so some context here. This woman, her name's Daryl, she's a director at Microsoft. Came up in a culture, especially in the big tech, big corporate world that's like, you are logged in, you do your work. They, a lot of the bigger tech companies kind of consider themselves like, you need to think of yourself as an Olympic athlete like you are here.

You have to go above and beyond. We are the top of the ladder. Like all it is a privilege to be here. All those things. And so [00:24:00] when you come up, whether it's Daryl or it's other people that I've talked to as well, when you come up in environments like that and you have leaders especially. Who don't take their lunch, who don't?

Ever log off of Slack, who micromanage, who don't even leave the office to go have their doctor's appointment and haven't booked it in three months. Oh wait, that was me at one point. Anyhow, when you have those examples in front of you, there's this fear both for Darryl and for other people. Like she had this fear of like.

I'm gonna be seen as not committed or not taken seriously. And she, like me, was, she's very young for a director level at Microsoft. And so there's this added pressure of woman, of younger of I wanna lead differently. And so at first she hid her lunchtime yoga workout. She hid Friday morning walk. She hid the other pieces of her self care, which you could also call energy management and like leadership practices.

And through our work together. She also realized, this isn't how I [00:25:00] wanna lead. Like I don't want to hide these things. So we talked about, okay, what does it look like to model this openly for your team, which is different than they've had things modeled before. And how do you do it in a way that's kind of a, seems like a win-win for the organization and is aligned with your values.

And so she was like, Hey team, I've been doing these things in better words than this obviously, but. I think this is an important part of leadership. They helped me for X, Y, Z reasons. Like I went for this walk and then came back and this project was done in half the time because of it. So I'm gonna put this stuff on my calendar.

I'm gonna show you what's happening. And this is what I did too. Like I used to hide therapy on my calendar. I used to not put haircuts. I'd be like, I'm at a doctor's appointment or whatever. But as you start to model these things out loud, you might get some pushback. I'm not gonna lie to you. Like I got some pushback at first too.

Um, but usually what happens afterwards is people go, oh, you're actually more productive. We're hitting our goals faster. People are happier. [00:26:00] This is a better way of doing things. And so she now has that on her calendar all the time, and she didn't go backwards. She's leading meetings with her skip levels, with her corporate vice vice presidents, and still leading like a total badass, but not hiding those pieces that help her get there anymore.

Did that answer your question?

Tara: Yeah, it did what

Alli Murphy: was like, wait, what was the original question? I got distracted.

Tara: What it's, it's also one, it's modeling that this can be done and. Honestly, like if somebody reporting up to a director of VP of whatever, if you can see someone that high level doing it, that clearly A makes permission for someone else to do it, but also just shows it's okay to advance to the next level.

'cause I hear a lot of times people are like, I don't wanna advance to the next level 'cause I've seen what the next level looks like and I don't want it. So that's also just general. Not only does it help your productivity and your ability to do your job well, but it helps with the kind of pipeline of leadership too. Bless you. There she goes again. Um, so [00:27:00] that was interesting. You know, you're bringing that up, but I also like that Yeah. Put what you're doing because that's also showcasing to other people who might not know. What to do. oh, maybe I should try a walk during lunch, or I, I love that you put therapy on your calendar.

I have always done that. a big proponent of therapy. I'm

Alli Murphy: Oh, me too.

Tara: go to

Alli Murphy: But I, it wasn't like I would talk about it, but it wasn't on my calendar. And then I was like, screw this. I'm putting on my calendar. And then I made a LinkedIn post about it that got the, this was years ago at this point, but got the highest amount of impressions I'd ever had. And I worked in social impact and I had like the VP of the Morgan Stanley Foundation and somebody high up at Hasbro and Subaru, like all of our clients going, wait a minute, this is inspiring.

I'm gonna do this too. It's like, it's huge.

Tara: Yeah, and it just, it levels the. Questions and the [00:28:00] concerns that folks might have, and that's what I mean. No, no wonder culture felt better. Folks were doing

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: because you're creating a, a psychologically safe space to be able to bring your full self to work I have one last big question and then we'll get to the like, final question. So. We've got leaders listening. deal with them on a regular basis, talking to them and encouraging them. What do you want folks to know is possible when they stop being this chief Everything Officer and they stop being the default for everything?

Like what? What's on the other side of it?

Alli Murphy: Oh my gosh. So many things. So I already talked about the VP Alice who came in and was like, I need my sanity back. I need joy and laughter. Like I need to, basically my words. Feel like a fricking human again. And so she went from chief Everything officer, like she'd been rewarded, promoted basically her entire [00:29:00] career for sitting in that role.

For doing that job. It's not a title, but it's like how you operate. And on the other side. Now actually that's not public, so I can't share it yet, but she. Her team has a 14% increase in revenue over their whole project. She's spending more time with her husband and her kids. She's having dance parties in the morning with her son before work.

Her team is taking on more work. She's presenting to the board, like there are big business changes that are happening, but she's also happier in that process. And like, as an example, this, uh, fundraising event that they run where she got 14% increase in revenue year over year. Normally the week leading up to that is just hair on fire, panicked.

Everything has to get done. She runs that team. There's a lot to do. And this year for the first time, she was out of office all day Tuesday before that event and was like, one, never thought I'd do that. And two. Whoa. Like my team's handling it, I'm not freaking [00:30:00] out. So there's, there's a very different feeling and I've got different clients that go, A lot of them, honestly, this isn't even one of the outcomes that I really talk about from my program, but four out of the last six people that I've worked with have all gotten promoted.

I was like, huh, I don't run a promotion program. I run a program in leadership of like, let's get you outta chief, everything officer into strategic leadership, even at your same title and four of the six have gotten promoted. So it's promotions increases in revenue, but it's also things like Susan started to learn to bake sourdough bread and loves it, and she was having a hard time getting around to planning her son's wedding.

And then shifted and was able to be there, help plan the thing ahead of time and be fully unplugged from work. And so it's this combination of leadership benefits to yourself, like promotions, raises, increased scope, speaking opportunities, whatever business benefits, like Cassie had a 77% increase in event attendance, and their backlog for customer service is zero Now.

But it's also the personal side of hanging out with family and friends, [00:31:00] sleeping again, not checking Slack in the morning and having that time to work out or read a book. So it's the, it covers these three phases of like leadership, business, and personal life.

Tara: Love that. Great segue into my last question. So this podcast, as you know, is all about balanced living with badass results. How do you define being a balanced badass in your own life?

Alli Murphy: So if I'm being totally honest, that definition is something that I'm still working on and tinkering with as a business owner now. 'cause I'm like. This is new. I never thought I was gonna be an entrepreneur. I had no interest in it. My husband has, he's owned a marketing agency for nine years, and I was like, Nope, I'm good.

That sounds awful. So jokes on me. But when I was a managing director in the corporate world, it was really about, I wanna be. Damn good at my job. Like I want a team that excels our goal, exceeds our goals. Words are hard, um, that enjoys what they do, that wanna show up to [00:32:00] work where I know them on an individual basis.

I wanna speak on stages. I wanna increase our revenue, I wanna grow our programs. I wanna scale things like that was the worst I had. And. I wanna have a damn life outside of work. I wanna have boundaries around that time. I wanna go cross country skiing at six in the morning 'cause I feel like it. I wanna take five plus weeks of vacation that are work free, which I did.

And I wanna have both of those pieces. And so now as an entrepreneur it's a little bit different 'cause I'm like, well this business currently relies on me. So I have taken, like last year, I took a a week long. Work free vacation. And then I had, I think two or three weeks off over the holidays. But it's different.

And so I'm like, okay, badass is, I am in growth mode. I'm like, how do I find the right people? How do I connect with the right people? What does it look like to really help women at different levels and run my program? Love that. And the other side is, all right, I have at a minimum. One day off of work a week.

'cause I'm also writing a book, so that [00:33:00] often happens on Saturdays and on Mondays. I don't take any calls. Mondays, my husband and I, if any of you're familiar with EOS, we do a level 10 meeting. We get our workout in and then it's whatever we wanna do. Sometimes it's skiing, sometimes it's hiking with moose, sometimes it's like, Hmm, I gotta work on this masterclass deck.

And so I'm still figuring out what that looks like in my new chapter.

Tara: I love that though. 'cause I think that's what I think being balanced is all about is honoring the season of life that you're in and. Experimenting, seeing what's gonna work and what's not gonna work. I relate so much to what you were saying, 'cause obviously also

Alli Murphy: Yes.

Tara: and trying to figure that out.

I took the entire, well, four weeks off, basically December through the new year,

Alli Murphy: I love that.

Tara: first time that I'd ever done that and. It was lovely. So I'm like, oh, now we're gonna have to do that again.

Alli Murphy: Yep.

Tara: [00:34:00] but it was, you know, it took some figuring out, you know, strategy wise of like, what does that look like when I'm not having coaching sessions, actively trying to sell, sell, sell on Instagram, you know, whatever that

Alli Murphy: Yeah.

Tara: But I will say. Money came in,

Alli Murphy: Yep.

Tara: things still happened. Was it my most gross revenue month? No. And that's fine. I wasn't expecting it to be, but it like, if you have the right systems in place too, I think that you can But I, I love that this, it's like, okay, do we adjust for where we're

Alli Murphy: Yeah. I call myself a, a retired Chief Everything Officer now, which I think is hilarious. I, I did a keynote a couple weeks ago and they made shirts. I didn't know this was gonna happen. They made shirts that said, hello, my name is Chief Everything Officer, and I screenprinted them for anybody that wanted 'em in the office audience, which is amazing.

But what your story in December [00:35:00] reminds me of is I. I did what I call like minimum viable December this year. So I, I took two or three weeks off. I think it was two weeks. It was two weeks towards the end, but before that, it was, I'm gonna do the bare minimum that keeps things running, that keeps me growing, keeps this and that happening without everything else.

So I worked like half days most of December. And to your point. Nothing like ground to a halt, like things actually move forward in that time, which kind of reinforces this whole chief everything officer loop. When we step back a little bit, when we don't clench as strongly, we think things are gonna fall apart, and usually as long as you do it well, the opposite happens

Tara: Yeah. Oh, Alli, I feel like I could talk to you for another two hours, but

Alli Murphy: next time.

Tara: how many listeners we would have at the end of those two hours. Um, but I do wanna pause here and just make sure that folks know how to stay connected with you. So where is the best place for them to connect with [00:36:00] you?

Alli Murphy: LinkedIn is probably the best. So it's, I'm Alli Murphy on LinkedIn and, uh, it's Work and Thrive hq. The And is the ampersand single. Symbol.

Tara: words,

Alli Murphy: So I know words are hard, so you can find me there. Um, I also just started on Instagram, which has been super fun, like ridiculously fun. And that I'm at it's Alli Murphy there.

And on both of those places you can find the link to my newsletter, so, which is the Thrive Report. And you can get three weekly leadership moves for how do you move from Chief Everything Officer to Strategic Leaders. So tangible pieces that you can go implement.

Tara: Awesome. I'll be sure to link everything so folks can go check it all out. Definitely follow her obviously on LinkedIn, but on Instagram too. Support her effort 'cause I'm very excited that she's on, on the, on the gram as us old

Alli Murphy: a big part of the reason I'm there. I was like, Ooh, this is fun. And you shared your thoughts with me and I was like, all right, we're doing the dang thing.

Tara: fun. Um, so yeah. I'll make sure everything's linked. Um, thank you so much, Alli, [00:37:00] for being here today.

Alli Murphy: Absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Tara: yeah. So if anything resonated with you while you're listening, I hope that you'll share it with someone, you know, share the love, but also subscribe. Um, feel free to email me or DM either one of us and let us know what you're taking away from this.

And as always. Thank you so much for dedicating some time with us today. We really appreciate it and I'll be sure to catch you in the next one. So take care friend.