Ep. #15: Anxiety and Money

Money is more than numbers—it’s tied to emotions, security, and even self-worth. 

In this episode, we dive into the emotional weight of money and the financial anxiety that so many of us experience. 

Learn what financial anxiety is, where it comes from, and how it impacts every area of your life. 

I share my personal journey of overcoming financial anxiety and provide practical, actionable steps to help you create awareness, take control, and rewrite your relationship with money.

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Transcript

Hello and welcome! I’m Amanda Jacob, financial and life coach, and today we’re diving deep into a topic that impacts so many of us—often without even realizing it. 

• Have you ever felt that pit in your stomach when you think about money? 
• Or found yourself avoiding bills, feeling paralyzed by guilt after a purchase?
• Or stuck in a cycle where no matter how much you earn, it never feels like enough? 

You and most people I hear from.

Money is so much more than numbers—it’s tied to our emotions, our sense of security, and even our self-worth. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the emotional weight money carries, understanding where financial anxiety comes from, and exploring how we can work through it step by step.

I’ll share practical tools to help you move from feeling stuck to taking action and share my own story of overcoming financial anxiety to show you what’s possible. 

So grab a cup of tea, take a deep breath, and let’s get started on a journey toward financial peace and empowerment.

Let’s get started with understanding what financial anxiety actually is. Financial anxiety is that gnawing feeling in your stomach, the lump in your throat, or the overwhelming dread when you think about money. It’s the fear of not having enough, the guilt of spending, or the panic of an unknown financial future.

Here’s the thing: financial anxiety isn’t just about money. It’s about what money represents—safety, security, freedom, and even self-worth. Our brains are wired to react to perceived threats, and money can trigger that same fight-or-flight response as being chased by a tiger. 

Financial anxiety is not simply being worried about money. It’s the emotional and physiological response to perceived financial instability or uncertainty. This can manifest in very specific ways:

• Overthinking: You might constantly replay your financial mistakes in your mind or stress about future expenses, even if they’re months or years away.
• Avoidance: On the other end of the spectrum, you might avoid the topic of money altogether, refusing to check your bank account or open bills because you feel paralyzed by the fear of what you’ll find.
• Physical Symptoms: For many, financial anxiety triggers the body’s stress response. Have you ever felt a racing heart, sweaty palms, or an upset stomach when dealing with money? That’s your brain perceiving a financial situation as a threat.

Maybe you avoid looking at your bank account because you’re afraid of what you’ll find. Or you might spend impulsively, thinking, “I deserve this,” only to feel shame later when the credit card bill arrives. Maybe you’ve told yourself that paying off debt is impossible, so why bother trying? Have you ever hesitated to look at your bank statement because you “don’t want to know”? Have you ever swiped your card knowing the balance might be low, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst? Or maybe you’ve felt a pang of guilt buying groceries, thinking, “I hope I have enough to cover this.”

These are all examples of how financial anxiety shows up. It’s not just about numbers—it’s about how those numbers make us feel. Financial anxiety is common, it’s deeply human, and it’s something you can learn to work through.To understand financial anxiety, we need to look at its roots. Anxiety around money doesn’t just appear one day—it’s built up over time through a combination of experiences, beliefs, and cultural conditioning. It’s shaped by our past experiences, the money stories we grew up with, and the habits we’ve built over time.

• Childhood Money Stories: The way your family handled money when you were growing up profoundly shapes your relationship with it today.
  • If you grew up hearing, “We can’t afford that,” or “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Those phrases may have planted seeds of scarcity in your mind, making you hypervigilant about spending—or the opposite, making you overspend to compensate for past deprivation. You might view money as something hard to come by and might not “want” things of your own. 
  • If your parents argued about money, you might associate money conversations with conflict and avoid them entirely as an adult.
  • On the flip side, if money was never discussed in your household, you might feel unprepared, ashamed and confused when facing financial challenges.
• Cultural Expectations: There’s often an internal expectation to “do it all”—the career, the family, the perfect home , and somehow balance it all effortlessly.. That pressure can make it hard to reconcile the reality of our finances with the life we feel we should have. Money becomes a symbol of whether we’re succeeding or failing at this impossible standard. When we feel like we’re falling short, it can trigger deep anxiety.
• Past Financial Mistakes: If you’ve been in debt before—or are in debt now—it’s easy to let shame and guilt cloud your thinking. Shame is a common thread in financial anxiety. Have you ever thought, “How did I let it get this bad?” or “Why can’t I figure this out when other people seem to have it together?” These thoughts create a cycle of guilt and avoidance that keeps us stuck.

When you find yourself thinking, “I’ll never get out of debt” or “I’m bad with money,” stop and ask: “Is this true?” Is it true that you’ll never get out of debt? Is it true that you’re “bad” with money?

Challenge your assumptions about yourself and your financial situation. Often, those beliefs are stories we’ve told ourselves for so long that we mistake them for facts. These thoughts might feel real, but they’re just that—thoughts.

These thoughts create feelings of inadequacy and fear. Those feelings lead to actions like avoiding bills or overspending, which reinforce the result of financial instability. It’s a self-fulfilling loop—but it can be broken.

A thought like, “I’ll never get ahead,” leads to feelings of despair, which drives avoidance actions, like ignoring bills. The result? You stay stuck.

How is financial anxiety showing up in your life? Financial anxiety doesn’t just live in your mind—it shows up in almost every area of your life:

• Are you avoiding financial conversations with your partner?
• Do you feel guilty every time you spend on yourself, even for something small?
• Are you stuck in a cycle of making decent money but still feel broke?

Financial anxiety doesn’t just live in your mind—it impacts your relationships, your work, and even your health. Chronic stress over money can lead to burnout, poor sleep, and even physical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues.

Are you avoiding financial conversations with your partner because you’re afraid it will lead to an argument? Do you feel resentment if one of you is a spender and the other is a saver?

Money is one of the top causes of stress in relationships, and avoiding it only intensifies the problem.

Financial stress can make it hard to focus, leading to mistakes or missed opportunities at work.It can also prevent you from asking for a raise or negotiating better terms, keeping you stuck in a financial rut.

Chronic stress about money can cause insomnia, headaches, and digestive issues. Over time, it can even contribute to anxiety disorders or depression.

Ask yourself:

• What is financial anxiety costing me?
• How would my life improve if I felt more confident managing my money?

Curiosity opens the door to change. It’s not about judging yourself or those around you—it’s about understanding what’s happening and why.

It’s one thing to recognize financial anxiety—it’s another to work through it. This is where we move from awareness to action.You need tools to manage it. Here are some practical steps:

1. Create Awareness:
   • Take a few minutes right now to look at your bank account. If you can’t do it this moment set an alarm for a moment today when you can. No judgment—but simply observe. Awareness is the first step to breaking avoidance.
   • Write down one financial habit you want to work on. Is it impulsive spending? Overspending on food? Avoidance? Using credit cards? Shifting money around to make yourself feel better?
2. Reframe Your Thoughts:
   • Ask yourself “Who would I be without this habit or thought?” For example, if you think, “I’ll never get out of debt so I might as well charge it,” imagine who you’d be without that belief. What actions might you take instead?
   • Try reframing thoughts like, “I’m bad with money,” to,“I’m learning how to manage my money better every day.” Imagine how much lighter you’d feel without the belief that you’re bad with money.
3. Take One Small Action:
   • If debt feels overwhelming, pick the smallest balance and pay $10 extra this month. Progress, no matter how small, builds momentum and confidence.
   • If spending feels out of control, track your purchases for one week. No judgment—just data collection. If you have feelings pull out a feelings wheel, identify them and let them be. You are creating awareness around them, that’s a good thing.
4. Incorporate Stress-Reduction Techniques:
   • Money anxiety thrives on overwhelm. Incorporate simple stress-relief practices like deep breathing, journaling, or even a 10-minute walk to clear your mind. If you can work in stress-relief practices in when you are anxious or overwhelmed or stress about money you can start to rewire and change your coping mechanisms. Let’s say you’re afraid to open a bill. Instead of avoiding it, take one minute to breathe deeply. Then set a timer for five minutes and commit to opening the envelope. Write out your thoughts and feelings about the circumstance and eventually you will be able work through it and lessen or eliminate your feelings of fear and avoidance. You don’t have to fix everything in that moment—just opening it is a win.

Financial anxiety is normal, but it doesn’t have to define you. When you create awareness, get curious, and take intentional actions, you start to shift your relationship with money.

Let me bring this all together with my own story, because financial anxiety isn’t just something I’ve coached others through—it’s something I’ve lived.

For years, I was blissfully unaware of how anxious money made me feel. I thought I was just “bad at numbers” or that money was inherently stressful, but looking back, I realize that was my way of coping with the stress that money brought me. I didn’t want to face the discomfort, so I avoided it altogether.

I grew up in a household where money was a huge stressor. Every month, I watched the checkbook dwindle down to close to zero, and I learned not to ask for things because I knew it would lead to an argument about money. That taught me to stay out of the way, to keep quiet about what I wanted, even though I wished for so many things.

Fast forward to when I started my own family: we created a life that looked like success on the outside. We had the cars, the degrees, the house—all the boxes were checked. But beneath it all, we still avoided the topic of money. I was a master avoider. I thought that if we didn’t talk about money, we wouldn’t fight about it.

And while that helped me avoid conflict, it also kept us stuck. We were making about $120,000 a year—a number that should have felt comfortable—but we were spending every penny and living paycheck to paycheck. We weren’t using our money to build the life we truly wanted; we were just getting by. And the worst part? I didn’t even know what was possible because I wasn’t willing to look.

It wasn’t until I decided to create awareness—to face what I’d been avoiding—that everything started to change. I had to admit that my way wasn’t working and that I didn’t have all the answers. Once I did that, we began making incredible progress.

• We became consumer debt-free in just seven months.
• We saved $30,000 in the next six months.
• And we did all of that while still enjoying the things we loved, but in a more intentional way.

What I didn’t realize back then was that financial anxiety wasn’t just making me avoid my money—it was robbing me of the life I could have been creating. It was keeping us from living with intention, from feeling secure, and from dreaming bigger.

It’s not that we do everything perfectly now. We don’t. But we’ve learned to show up and take action, even when it feels uncomfortable. We’ve learned that it’s okay to fail because every failure brings us closer to figuring out what works.

What I want you to take away from this is that financial anxiety doesn’t have to define you. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or uncertain when it comes to money, but that’s not where the story ends.

If I can go from avoiding money at all costs to building a life where I feel confident and in control of our finances, so can you. It starts with showing up, even when it feels hard. It’s about taking one step at a time—creating awareness, getting curious, setting intentions, and taking action.

You don’t have to have it all figured out today. You just have to start. Imagine what could be possible if you stopped letting financial anxiety hold you back and started using your money to create the life you really want.

Managing money isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being consistent.

Closing
If today’s episode or my story resonates with you, let it be a reminder that you are not alone and that financial peace is possible. I encourage you to take just one small step. Maybe it’s writing down a money habit you want to change. Maybe it’s sitting down to breathe before looking at your account. Or just saying out loud to yourself that it’s time for a change. 

Whatever it is, know that you are not alone in this journey. You don’t have to do it all, but you do have to start.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend or leave a review. Together, we can change the way we think and feel about money—and build the lives we’ve always dreamed of.

If you need help creating this plan I am also offering a free weekly budgeting meeting on Fridays at 11:30am PST via Zoom. If you would like to join the call to get your questions answered please reach out via my FB or IG for the link.

If you feel like you need more support for your journey to break the cycles you currently have with money, schedule a 15-minute call with me. You can find all of the links in the show notes below.

Thank you for joining me today, and here’s to making choices that bring us closer to the financial peace and empowerment we all deserve. 

Until next time.