Season 2 Episode 1: From Ego & Ambition To Acceptance & Surrender

Hello everyone, Im super happy to be back with a new season of the podcast. Today Im talking about how ego and ambition can show up for all of us in our practice and how to move away from the ego towards a practice of self acceptance, self love and surrender.  This of course is not easy and I talk about how, with time, yoga can really begin to highlight for each of us the nature of our own internal negative narratives and how we can begin to change these through the practice of self acceptance, non-judgment and self love. Its a lifetimes work but the benefits are miraculous.

Wishing you love and light,

Helen x

If you have any comments, questions or anything you would like to hear about related to this podcast, I'd love to hear from you.

Please feel free to message me on Instagram or email me here: helen@feettoearthyoga.co.uk

You can follow me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/feettoearthyoga/?hl=en

Or why not find out how we can work together with classes classes, courses and 1:1 coaching here: https://www.feettoearthyoga.co.uk/

With love and light,

Helen xxx

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Welcome to Be Still and Notice, a yoga podcast. Join me your host. yoga and meditation instructor Helen Taylor to dive deeply into the vast ocean of wisdom that is yoga. Explore with me how these ancient practices can help heal and elevate us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually in an ultra-modern world. Together we'll deepen our practice, explore our connection to divinity and our own inner landscapes with the help of special guests, guided meditations, how-to's and oh so much more. Yoga has the incredible power to change your life on every level and it all begins with stillness. Now let's begin. Hello and welcome, welcome to Season 2 of Be Still and Notice, a yoga podcast. I'm so excited to be back. I know there's been a few little breaks in recordings, but here we are, Season 2, and... Today we're going to be talking about ego and ambition versus acceptance and surrender and how we can really move away from the ego towards acceptance, surrender and the really important practice of developing self-compassion and self-love. Super important stuff. I really hope you enjoy the episode. Hello everyone and welcome. Welcome to season two of Be Still and Notice, a yoga podcast. It's been a few weeks and I'm so happy to be back. It feels like life is busy. There's a lot going on, a lot of shifts happening, a lot of big things happening, a lot of growth. I don't know if you feel the same. And if you're into your astrology, we had this big full Pisces full moon and lunar eclipse it's not something that I know a huge amount about but I love to hear from the experts all about it and to spend some time in ritual and very simple ritual to embrace these special moments that can give us a chance to transition and grow and release and all those things so So I hope you're really well, I hope you had a fantastic summer, I hope you've had a really lovely holiday or a break at some point and maybe you've got that kind of back to school vibe going on. Today I really wanted to talk about something that's been coming up in my one-to-one sessions and classes and I think it's super simple but yet it's so so important. I wanted to talk about ego and ambition in our yoga practice and acceptance and surrender. So quite often in my one-to-one classes, very often, and I've done it myself and I do it myself when I learn something new. So it's not uncommon, everyone does this by the way, but When we're learning something new, say a new pose, especially if it's exciting, there is this rush, this kind of, ooh, ooh, this is nice. Ooh, I want to get this right and I want to maybe look good in this pose. I really want to, there's an excitement and ambition for this new pose, especially if it's one that is a bit more challenging and looks impressive. So everyone does this, no judgment. Everyone, including me, does this. I did at the beginning of my practice, let's just say that. And there's nothing wrong with that in the moment, except that it takes us out of presence. And so when I'm working with my one-to-one clients specifically, because that's where I really see it, I really invite everyone to slow right down. Because with this kind of egoic need to get it right and to get there, to achieve the pose, there's a rush, there's this feeling of needing to go fast, of needing to get it done to achieve the pose. And of course, that brings us out of our, you know, It brings us out of the present, out of the body and much more into our ego. I wonder if many of these fancy poses were actually designed in order to practice coming out of the ego and into acceptance and surrender. So how do we do that? How do we move from ego and ambition into acceptance and surrender? So first of all, I'd like to invite anyone who can recognise this in themselves to come away from this idea of being good at yoga, getting it right in the most common way of looking at getting it right Having it look like, look perfect, having it look exactly like someone else, your teacher, for example. And of course, what comes with this ego ambition is a sense of comparison. And we all know, we've talked about it before here on the podcast. As soon as you're like, right, I need to get this. And you're looking at your teacher who, of course, has been practicing for many, many, many years more than you. And maybe more physically able or have a completely different set of abilities in their physicality. In other words, they can do a pose and it looks very different to what you might be able to embody in that pose. So when you're comparison, comparison is the thief of joy, right? It really, really is. And that, again, brings you back into a kind of vanity ego state. which is just not what we're practicing in yoga so I invite you if you recognize this in yourself to come out of this idea of getting it right and to remember a few things there is no being good at yoga what there is is your own personal practice and how that personal feels in your body your ability to go deeper and really embody that pose and feel it embody it be able to do it more smoothly more precisely more flowing with the breath be more present in the pose be a little bit stronger that may and will improve with practice over time but that can only be measured really by you. Your teacher, a really good teacher, is not going to be able to measure, will measure your progress in terms of it looking more stable, looking more safe, looking like you just feel happier and more peaceful in the pose or more powerful, depending of course on what pose it is. But really the only only measure of progress is about how the individual feels in that pose so when you look at it that way there really is no getting it right your teacher will show you how to practice safely and with proper alignment so that you don't injure yourself but there are a thousand million different ways to do a single pose and a good teacher will adapt that excuse me for your body and for your needs so it's really really important to just not race into it and think I need to look like the teacher because each this is an individual practice this is very very personal subjective to you and I think that's one of the most important lessons one of many many many that I learned quite early on because I have all sorts of physical differences as we all do and I kept comparing myself and I was like oh can't do that putting myself down means I'm not good at yoga please remove that from your mind because all it does is brings you into your ego and away from presence and away from your true practice so get rid of this ambition of getting good and getting it right now there's nothing wrong with wanting to progress your practice and having ambition, in fact that's brilliant but make sure that your heart's in the right place that your ambitions, your goals are centred correctly and when I say that I mean with a yogic lens so make sure that your ambition is just to progress at your own pace, at your own capacity so that you can get into the fullest expression of that pose that's exactly right just for you safely, with patience with time and with the right guidance not I am going to get into scorpion pose in two months and I've never practiced yoga before and I'm going to do it if it breaks me that is not That is not the way to practice and that's not yoga. That's really not yoga. So a really, really key part of this, getting rid of the ego and circumnavigating that kind of rush to achieve is self-acceptance and self-love. This is how we get to acceptance and surrender. And I'm not going to lie to you, these are the tricky, tricky bits. And it could take you a really long time. But that's why it's good to start right at the beginning. So how do we begin to practice self-acceptance? It really is all about in the moment, present moment awareness and being really aware of what's happening in your mind. This is why a good tea will always ask you to check in with your mind. What's going on with your mind? What's your internal dialogue? Are you checking in with the sensations in your body? Are you in the present moment? Is your mind neutral? Or are you racing forwards? And when you check in with the mind regularly enough, you really, and the more self-aware you become through the practice, especially through meditation, but also definitely through our asana practice, you'll become really aware if there are little things that pop up in your mind that turn on the ego. Or where you're really self-critical, and that's the most common. Oh, I can't do it. I'm not good enough. I can't. This is too much for me. This is too difficult. I'm not good enough is a massive, massive one. And we all have these little voices in our mind, these little negative thought patterns and self-beliefs running behind the scenes constantly. This again is the beauty of yoga and why it's such a holistic practice. Because although we're moving the body and we're moving the body with the breath, we're also really in tune with what's happening in the mind. And the more aware we become of it, the more self-aware we become, the more objective we can be. Instead of just running on automatic, we can go, why am I saying this to myself? And a good teacher will always ask you, if you're finding a pose particularly difficult, and this is what I do in my sessions, I find it so, so powerful, what's happening in your mind right now? You know when someone is really exasperated and Maybe you've been in a class before and you just can't get this pose, even though you're strong enough, you're flexible enough, you've had a shit day and you're just, oh God. A good teacher will say, pause, please stop, have a rest, tune into your mind, listen to your mind. What thoughts are running through your mind as you go through moving into this pose? And more often than not, there is going to be this little voice that's saying, I can't do it, I'm not enough. And it's probably entirely not related to yoga and entirely related to inner child work, shadow work, all kinds of things. Just the kinds of things that all of us have running subconsciously under the surface. So to work towards change, Changing this and coming more into self-acceptance. First, we're aware of it. We recognise it. And then we work to change that mindset. But in order to work to change it, we have to first accept that it's a reality. And this can be really, really hard for some people who have perhaps been carrying things for a really, really long time. And let me just say right here now, the deep work goes on all the time and it happens in cycles. And I know it is happening like this for me and has happened like this for me and many of my clients. You don't just suddenly go, oh, I fully accept myself. I fully accept myself with all the crap and all the shadow and all the dark and all the light and all the beauty and all the joy and all the good and all the bad. it happens cyclically so at one stage you might go oh i really accept this that this part of me feels this and that's okay and then in another few months time a year later something else will come up and something else will come up and something else will come up and slowly with time with the cycles of coming back and coming back and going deeper and going deeper if this is something that you want to do and yoga practice will naturally unfold this for you if you continue with your practice that's the beautiful and magical amazing thing about it so it's not it's an ongoing process but that first step that first little piece of self acceptance is so powerful and really unlocks the door so you have to accept accept that you might feel unworthy. You have to accept that you might feel not good enough. You have to accept that there are these negative mindsets and sit with it. And that's hard. Sit with it, allow it to be, accept it, normalise it. Okay, so I feel this way and that is okay. Because the more you fight it, the more you deny it. And in order to move through that barrier, the only way out is through, right? You have to allow it to be, accept it and move through it. I don't want to make light of that. It's really, really massive part of the practice. like I said small doses little small pieces of self-acceptance even if say you're doing a practice in a class and you've had a really bad day but you really want to go to your class you sit on the mat and you suddenly feel entirely weak your body doesn't want to move and all you want to do is sit there and be quiet maybe you cry maybe your body is shaking maybe you just need to close your eyes and be quiet and you're Allowing yourself to do that is a yoga practice. Being with your body and yourself, your mind, heart, soul, spirit, everything in that moment and allowing that to happen is your yoga practice. A good teacher will gently check in with you and then leave you be. And you can always tell as a teacher, those that have a more serious practice because they do this. They'll come to your class, they'll do what they can and then they stop. Because a yoga practice is not about anyone else. You're not letting anyone down. You're not being not enough. In fact, the complete opposite is true. This is an allowing. This is an accepting. A very, very powerful part. Once we've got into... fully into the self-acceptance, which is huge. we can begin to show more compassion towards ourselves. In fact, I believe the two actually very overlap a huge amount because in order to accept, you really do need to show yourself some kindness and compassion, a little bit of leeway, a little bit of wiggle room. It's okay. It's okay to want to just sit and be still. It's okay to feel this way. It's okay to feel any way at all. And that's why when we practice and we do body scans and things like that, I definitely do this in my classes. I invite my clients to practice awareness with a sense of non-judgment so say you're scanning your body and you notice oh my bloody knee oh my stupid knee had this knee injury for 20 years and tonight it's being a right pain bloody stupid knee your body your body hears you mind and body are not separate they are one and to speak to your body this way is just damaging it's not self-loving it's not accepting you're fighting it you're like oh just don't want this stupid bloody knee to get in the way i get it we all have these pesky injuries that can be really frustrating but that mindset is actually really damaging it's much better to work towards a really compassionate accepting loving mindset such as my knee's hurting again today I'm just going to go easy so that it will feel better tomorrow maybe I will put some ice or heat on it later whatever you like to do for your knee and it's okay it's okay to have a sore knee today it can be as simple as that it can really be as Simple as that. And in that very simple sentence, we've changed the tone, we've changed the energy, we've moved towards self-acceptance and we've moved towards self-love. Another big part of this practice when we're moving away from ego, ambition, getting it right, pushing ourselves, is surrender. And in fact, surrender is a huge part of acceptance, self-acceptance. I've had a couple of big moments of surrender in my life where I've literally felt my whole body physically crumple and sag and release and soften as I've literally just let go of something very very big energetically and emotionally. It is so powerful. So many of us are not really realising that we're fighting within all the time. and this can be a really really damaging thing although it's entirely natural so again tuning in to what's happening in your body knowing that internal dialogue that you're having with yourself knowing what's going on with your mind practicing acceptance it's okay moving away from ambition and moving away from ego choosing to accept exactly where you are today and knowing that that's okay is the practice choosing to show yourself love and compassion that is the practice it's big You know, I end up thinking about what to do these podcast episodes on and quite often I think, oh, that would just be a little short, sweet one. And then I end up realising just what a big topic it is and how much there is to discuss and explore around it. And this is really a key, key part of your practice. So I invite you every time you feel your ego. Popping up and saying, ooh, that's flashy. I want to try that. Try it. When we're talking about asana, of course, try it. But bring yourself back into acceptance and surrender. Self-acceptance. Self-love. And move forward. with all of those things and you will be practicing yoga so wishing you a beautiful day ahead full of love for yourself be kind to yourself please it's very very important and I'll see you again next time Thank you so much for listening to the Be Still and Notice podcast. I really hope you enjoyed this episode and perhaps it even added something to your life. If you know someone that might benefit, please share this episode with them and of course a review would be so much appreciated. Please find all the information relating to this episode, including relevant links in the show notes. And until next time, sending you so much love and light on your path to yoga.