Cold Hard Feelings
Like the snowflake, no one person's story is the same as another. In mine, you'll find a winding road with twists and turns that led me here; sitting down, talking about it.
Cold Hard Feelings
7 Steps to Unwrapping Happiness: Embracing Fleeting Joys and Lasting Contentment
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Is happiness just a fleeting thrill like unwrapping a gift, or is there a deeper, more enduring emotion we should be seeking? Join us on Cold, Hard Feelings as we unravel the complex tapestry of happiness and contentment. You'll learn how to appreciate happiness as a transient, yet precious, emotion rather than a perpetual state. We promise to guide you through the art of cherishing these ephemeral moments while cultivating a more sustainable sense of contentment that embraces life's imperfections with grace.
Throughout the episode, we take you on a journey using the relatable metaphor of owning a car. Just like a car requires maintenance and eventually ages, so do our lives, but that doesn't mean happiness has to disappear. Discover how the passage of time and inevitable changes can be met with acceptance and gratitude. By holding onto cherished memories and embracing change, you can nurture a lasting contentment that weaves through life's highs and lows. Tune in to learn how to create new positive memories and savor the joys that have shaped your life.
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Welcome back to Cold, hard Feelings everybody. First, I want to apologize for missing an episode this week, so I'm going to do two episodes at the same time. The first one I'm going to go into here is going to be the seven steps to happiness. One of the important parts about this topic is the way that I look at it is that there are two different um, there are two different parts to the term happiness, because in my head, happiness doesn't really exist. The way that it's portrayed on like social media, uh, movies, fairy tales, you know, like the happily ever after, like, yeah, happily ever after is a thing, but not without its bumps in the road, right, and I think that that's kind of what people tend to assume happiness is like is, you know, no bumps in the road, and that's just not. That's just not a thing. So the first thing I want to talk about is the difference between happiness and contentment. Contentment is again, this is how I perceive it but contentment is looking at a situation and accepting it with all its flaws and choosing to react and choosing to look back at it and saying at it and saying this is all right, I'm going to look at things positively because there's no reason to look at things negatively. I mean you worry about the things that you can change, not the things that you can't. Contentment is more what I would consider a constant feeling than happiness.
Speaker 1:Happiness, I feel like, is like the same thing as like you know surprise. You know, like when you get surprised for your birthday party. So when you walk into a room and the lights are all off and everything and you turn them on and then people jump out surprise and then you know you're like shocked. That's the same thing I look at happiness. Or like when you stub your toe right when you hit your toe, and like when you stub your toe. That's the same thing I look at happiness. Or like when you stub your toe right when you hit your toe and like when you stub your toe. That's when you feel the pain, and then everything after that is just, you know, anguish, like when something happens you get angry about it. Like angry is what I think is what I considered. That like that that happened and that happened since that, that, that time, everything else after that is just like a derivative of it.
Speaker 1:So when I look at happiness and I look at contentment, I look at happiness as what you feel about what happened right then. And then contentment is going forward with, because being happy with something is just so. It feels like an extreme because maybe we'll typically say, oh yeah, I'm happy with it. It just means that they're content with it. I mean, I'm not happy with my car. I was very happy with my car when I first got it, but you know you have to make changes to it or you have to. You know you have to, uh, get it fixed. You have to take it in for oil changes and do all the maintenance and get gas and all that other stuff Right. So, like you're happy when you first get it, but then you have to be content with it as well, like keep going with it, keep making the changes, not just trading it in every two seconds or you know what have you. So that's what I would consider the difference between happiness and commitment.
Speaker 1:Happiness is what happens, or is like the reaction, I guess, and contentment is everything that follows. So the seven steps to set happiness and then the contentment afterwards the first step is, well, the emotion. Right, it's the, it's the being, the positive, that's the bit. The happiness, the. You know the, the happenstance, the, the experience, the memory, I guess, is what keeps a person, or what makes a person happy. They're happy in that moment and however long that moment lasts, I'm not saying happiness is for a quick second and then it's over. But happiness is like that initial, that first day feeling that new car smell right, that first day feeling that new car smell, right. And um, the first step is important. It's the it's, I mean, it's the whole meaning of it, right, it's the, the embracing it, embracing the happiness. And the second step is holding on to it for as long as you can. I know the things I guess saying in, like relationships, especially like new ones, or like the first ones, or what have you is, you know they don't last forever, right, so try to cherish every moment that you have while you're in them.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I keep going back to cars, but when you, you know you get a brand new car, it's got that new car smell. Just just take in that new car smell as often as you possibly can, because I know they make fragrances, uh, for new car smell, but it's obviously not going to be the same. So, um, you know, hold on to it, take it in, embrace it, and you know, just hold on to that, that feeling, for as long as you possibly can. Third step, once that feeling starts to fade, is understand why it's fading. So to understand why it's fading, you've got to take another step back and I guess we'll just do car analogies for the rest of this.
Speaker 1:So when you have that new car smell and it starts to fade, you have to understand why it's fading. Is it just because you know you have your windows down all the time when you're driving? Is it because you keep, you know you get takeout all the time and your car now is starting to smell like food? Or is it because you wear like a really good, you know perfume or a really good cologne or you know something like that, you know like. Is that why? Is the smell just changing into something else that then becomes a new car smell? Or, you know, is it just simply just fading? And that's the passage of time? So if you completed the first two steps and you are already happy, we're already happy and you've embraced it, you're taking all that in and you're holding on to it as long as you can once it starts to fade.
Speaker 1:You know that's, you know understanding that that's now moving from happiness into, come into contentment. I want to say commitment, but that's a whole different episode. Um, uh, it's moving from happiness into the contentment phase and that's where step four comes along. Step four is understanding the take it or leave it, and typically we're looking for contentment. So we're going to go with the take it option and understanding that this is now a constant, this is now something that's going to be around with you, and understanding that it's going to still be there, no matter what is kind of what helps you. You live with it.
Speaker 1:So back to the new car. Right, new car smells fading. Now it sounds like, let's just say, taco Bell. I haven't had Taco Bell in, like I don't know. I had it once in the past, like three years. Now it's starting to smell like Taco Bell. And you know you have a few options. You can just be like, wow, I just hate the fact that it smells like Taco Bell and then be upset about it. Or you can just be like man, I really like Taco Bell and just be, you know, just be okay with it and, you know, not really care. Or you can start to do things like get fragrances, you know, clean the inside of your car, you know, wash it down that type of thing, you know do some fabric cleaners and all that stuff all the whole nine yards and then make it smell as close to a new car. You know that first feeling. Some of you may or may not understand that this also ties into relationships, but that's kind of that's.
Speaker 1:Step four is learning and understanding that you might not ever get back to that initial happy feeling. Step five is accepting that and adapting to it. So, again with the take it or leave it options, you've now decided to take it right. That's a choice that you made, so stick to it. If you have a new car and it smells like Taco Bell and you decided to go one of the three routes either being upset about it, changing it or keeping it the same you got to stick to that. If you decided to clean it clean it every couple of weeks or, however, however often you feel like cleaning it. Uh, if you like taco bell and you're okay with the smell, then I guess you really don't have to do anything. If you're upset about it and you don't like it, then you'll probably end up reverting back to plan c, you know, cleaning it every so often or leaving it, which hopefully that's doesn't happen, but that is typically where this stops.
Speaker 1:And then, once you take the option to leave it, then you begin the cycle all over again. You get happy with something else and then it's not the same as the first one, that you got one, cause it never will be a two. If you do get happy about it again, you're going to go through the same as the first one that you got One, because it never will be Two. If you do get happy about it again, you're going to go through the same phases again. You're going to have to get through the point, because nothing stays new forever. Nothing stays new forever. So take that, use it. And then you take your, leave it take your, take it, phase right, and you decide all right, I'm going to take it, phase right, you're an end. You decide all right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it. Sorry if I'm starting to talk faster. I'm waiting for my pre-workout to hit so I can get into the gym. Um, so you are. You take it and that's that.
Speaker 1:Adapt to it, make whatever changes to your life, is necessary to stay content with it. You know, understand that it's yours, it's in your possession, you know you take care of it because that was the choice that you made. Step six is looking back and holding on to the memories of when it was first brought into your life. If it was a car, you know it'll never be the same as when you first bought it, and that's fine as long as you remember how it was when you first bought it. Hold on to that. Let that be what carries you throughout your contentment phase, which hopefully lasts, you know, a very long time, or the rest of your life, or what have. You Carry the memory of that initial happiness, because that happiness is typically supposed to be strong enough to carry you through the good times, the bad times. When your car breaks down, you know when your car has to go into the shop, if it gets totaled. Hopefully that never happens, but it does happen in reality. Just hold on to that happiness and then, if you do have to change it out or if something happens, try to replace it with a brand new memory, but look at it as a positive light, not a negative light.
Speaker 1:And then seven is is to just repeat, basically, steps four through six. You know, don't ever look back on it and say you know what? I'm tired of this old piece of junk, you know, because at one point it was your pride and joy, and it's not its fault that time has passed, I mean during the whole phase. Time has passed for you too, and you're not perfect either. So when you level with the fact that you're not as spotless as you were when you first bought the car, the car is also not going to be spotless, and it's okay to not be spotless together, and that's it, thank you, thank you.