Stop Acting Your Age: Embracing Joy, Authenticity, and Calm at Every Stage of Life

This episode is packed with practical life tips for living authentically and learn to participate in life at ANY age or stage in your life. Discover:

✨ How small changes in self-perception boost well-being strategies 

✨ Daily wellness habits that honor your body AND mind 

✨ Personal growth through self-trust (not self-judgment) 

✨ Wellness encouragement for staying playful, bold & fully alive 

✨ Holistic wellness practices that make joy your medicine

Whether you're 25 feeling 50 or 60 feeling 35, or any other mismatch in your mind and body, learn why your subjective age and what you think of yourself matters more than anything, and how to stop shrinking yourself for others.

Transcript

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered who it was looking back at you? That the person you have in your mind is totally different than the person you see looking back at you? In this episode, we explore the pressure to dress, live, and behave according to expectations, age, or how we think we’re supposed to live and look. And we’ll explore how small changes in self-perception can boost your well-being, what daily wellness habits can help you honor your body AND your mind and how personal growth happens through self-trust (not self-judgment).

Whether you're 25 feeling 50 or 60 feeling 35, or any other reason you feel you need to shrink yourself, learn how living fully is about participating in your life and how to live out loud and proud at any age or any design. And you can start by listening and giving yourself permission to be your authentic self!

This podcast is about simple changes to create more calm and peace in your life. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed and overhaul your whole life all at once, just small simple changes is all it takes so let’s dive in and see what small changes you can make to begin living the authentic life you deserve!

Welcome back, my friends or welcome for the first time, no matter who you are or how you got here, I’m so happy you’re here listening so welcome everyone. This one is for every age because today we’re going to talk about the pressure to act your age, dress your age, live your age and maybe you just don’t want to and if you’re looking for permission, then this episode gives you permission to change that! And this can be applied to not just age but maybe any other ways you are looking to be your authentic self. Maybe you’re pressured to be more of this and less of that, whatever it is, let’s see if we can start feeling better in our bodies and our minds. For me, my body and my mind are living in two very different age groups and I’ll be talking about how I’m older physically but younger in my mind, but maybe you’re younger and you feel older and wiser in your mind so maybe you can relate, but whatever it is you’re feeling or why, let’s get into letting go of pressures to be what people think we should be, and instead let’s just be. So chronologically, I’m almost 61. But internally? I’m somewhere around 35. Maybe 40 on a tired day. And occasionally 27 when the right song comes on! And before we go any further, let me be very clear that this is not about denying who you are, I’m not denying my age, pretending I’m younger than I am, competing with women half my age, or being afraid of aging. This is about something much more more liberating. It’s about living fully inside the age I am now, in my mind, as I see myself, instead of living someone else’s expectations of what this stage of life should look like. And maybe you’re listening for some complete other reason but you’re feeling something similar.

Somewhere along the way, we all are handed an invisible rulebook about aging or how we should act, and women especially. It implies that as we age, we should tone it down, calm it down, dress differently, move less, laugh more quietly, maybe become “graceful” in a way that often means be more invisible. We’re encouraged to be wise but not be bold, be confident but not expressive, be present but not loud, just go over there in the corner and we’ll let you know when we need you. And while I deeply value wisdom, depth, and reflection, I don’t agree that those things require me to become smaller, quieter, or less of myself. Because the truth is, aging hasn’t made me quieter, and those of you that know me personally will probably agree I’ve never been quiet anyways so why start now? But age has definitely made me clearer. It has stripped away the need to perform, to impress, to prove my value, to explain myself, and in that stripping away, I’m left with more honesty in my life especially about who I am and where I want to go in life and what I want to leave behind.

One of the most wonderful and freeing things about getting older is that I no longer worry nearly as much about what other people think. If you get to know me and don’t know how amazing I am or my value, then let’s agree to disagree, no harm, no foul. And I bet you’re just as amazing and if someone doesn’t see that, move on and stop trying to prove it. And that alone is a huge spiritual awakening as you get older. When I was younger, so many decisions ran through the filter of how will this look, what will people think, will this make me seem like too much, or not enough, or embarrassing, or inappropriate. While I have always had very little filter in my speech, I certainly ran everything thru a filter when I was in comparison mode. Now that filter is very, very thin. Not gone completely, because I’m human and of course I try not to hurt people intentionally, but thin enough that my own voice comes through even more clearly. I wear what feels good on my body. I say what feels true in my heart. I move how my body wants to move and I don’t worry about the rolls when I bend over, or the perfect angle to not have turkey neck. And if someone doesn’t like it, that’s okay, that says more about them than it does about me. I’ve learned that other people’s opinions are usually reflections of their comfort levels, their conditioning, their fears, not a measure of my worth. That realization alone adds years of life back into your body and mind.

If you really want to see this mind-body age gap in action, just watch what happens when music comes on. I can be doing something very responsible, very adult, very put-together—paying bills, cleaning the kitchen, answering emails, and then song with a great beat comes on. A song I’ve loved for decades that finds me, and suddenly my body remembers the moves faster than my mind can stop it even if I wanted to. I start moving and sometimes I sing out loud, and usually off key. Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Lights will have me singing both the guy and girl parts...same with any song from the movie Grease. And I don’t stop myself anymore by wondering who might see or hear. I don’t pause to check whether this is age-appropriate behavior. Because joy doesn’t need permission. And the thing is that I’m not trying to be young in those moments. I’m not trying to relive the past. I’m being really present. I’m letting life move through me instead of managing it into something smaller and more socially acceptable. That’s not immaturity. That’s being truly alive!

There’s something so freeing and beautiful about letting your body express joy without asking for approval. It reminds you that you are still here, still responsive, still capable of pleasure and spontaneity when life usually feels crazy and has you focused on work, home, responsibilities. And it’s beautiful to let go and enjoy especially in a culture that subtly tells aging women to become more contained, more careful, more muted. Every time I let myself move to music or sing without worrying about how it looks, it feels like a small act of defiance. Like I’m saying, “I’m still living in my body, and I plan to stay here for as long as I can move and think.”

When I work out, I’m not trying to rewind time or chase a younger body. I’m not punishing myself or striving for some ideal version of who I used to be. I’m honoring the body I have now, pooch and all. I move because I want to feel strong, capable, and grounded in myself. I move because I want to carry my own bags, dance without hesitation, travel with confidence, and live independently for as long as I possibly can. This isn’t about appearance. It’s about saying, “I respect this body enough to care for it.” And yes, some days my body absolutely reminds me of its age. There are aches that weren’t there before, recovery that takes longer, conversations with joints I didn’t know I had. Hell the other day I literally just took a breath...didn’t move but just breathed and my back twitched and I felt it all dang day.

And this isn’t just me, but many people do not feel their chronological age internally and that can be a good thing. There’s research around something called subjective age or how old we feel versus how old we are, and it turns out that subjective age matters. People who feel younger than their chronological age tend to stay more socially engaged, move their bodies more, recover better from stress, and experience greater life satisfaction. Not because they’re pretending or denying reality, but because they’re participating in their lives. They’re engaged and active, and that engagement keeps your mind and body systems alive. There’s research now that as you age that while eating close to the ground and exercising is a must, that your mindset and community engagement is even more important and a bigger factor in longevity.

Science now supports what we may have felt intuitively for years. How we move, how we think, how we manage stress, and how we relate to ourselves all influence our biological age, not just the number on the calendar. Practices like movement, mindfulness, emotional regulation, purpose, curiosity, laughter, and connection can positively impact inflammation, hormone balance, brain health, and nervous system resilience. In simple terms, living fully doesn’t just feel good but it supports longevity and not just living longer, but living more actively for longer. Joy isn’t frivolous. It’s medicine. Presence is medicine. Self-expression is medicine.

And this is not about ignoring reality or pretending aging doesn’t come with challenges. It does. Bodies change. Energy shifts, and things that didn’t affect you before, now do. And for sure drinking takes on a whole new aspect and decision making because my body just doesn’t process alcohol like it used to. When I was in my 20s, the decision as I drank all night and partied was, well it’s 4AM, do I go to sleep til 6 or just ride it out and go to work? Now my decision is do I want a drink tonight or do I want to sleep tonight? But living fully doesn’t mean denying those truths. It means meeting them without surrendering joy. So maybe I’m a one and done kind of drinker, or maybe that pretty little mocktail in a wine glass is just as good if not better and that’s ok because when we really think about it, the social interactions are why we’re typically getting together, not so we can all get hammered. And if getting hammered is the priority and you’re not young and stupid, you might have a few more things to reflect on. No judgement here, just a suggestion.

I also want to be very clear that this is not about comparing myself to someone half my age. Comparison drains life faster than almost anything else. It pulls us out of our own timelines and drops us into someone else’s highlight reel and we all know the highlights are perfectly crafted but usually imperfectly lived. This is about inhabiting my own life fully. I don’t want to be 35 again, trying to prove myself at work and working 60 hour weeks. I want to be this age, with this depth, this confidence, this self-knowledge, fully turned on to my life. There is a big difference between chasing youth and embracing vitality. One is rooted in fear of missing out, of not getting what everyone else has. The other is rooted in presence and knowing what we need is within and everything else will fall into place.

There’s an old narrative that being an elder means being quiet, reserved, and still. That it means stepping back, making yourself smaller, offering wisdom only when asked, and fading gracefully into the background. But I think elderhood means laughter, movement, play, bold self-expression, and living as an example to younger people of what authenticity looks like. What if being an elder means showing younger generations that life doesn’t end at a certain age, that joy doesn’t expire, that confidence can grow instead of shrink? Wisdom does not require silence. Depth does not require dullness. You can be grounded and playful, strong and soft, wise and wildly alive.

Aging has also given me perspective. I no longer feel the same urgency to prove myself the way I once did. I don’t need to be everything to everyone. I don’t need to perform likability or contort myself to fit into spaces that were never designed for me. I get to be real. And that freedom creates space for joy, for rest, for creativity, for truth. It creates space to choose relationships that feel reciprocal and truly worth my energy, work that feels meaningful and full of purpose, and daily living that feel sustainable. That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts of aging.

There’s a quote often attributed to Carl Jung that says, “We don’t get older, we get more ourselves.” That feels so true to me. Aging isn’t about becoming less. It’s about becoming more in a purer way. The noise falls away. The fake mask loosens. The need for external validation softens. What remains is something truer, something steadier, something more aligned with who you’ve always been beneath the layers.

No matter who you are or how old you are when you’re listening to this, I want you to hear this clearly, there is no age limit on joy. There is no expiration date on self-expression. There is no moment when you have to stop being fully yourself. Live your life in a way that feels true to you. Dance if you want to dance. Move if you want to move. Rest when you need rest. Speak when you need to speak. Change your mind if you need to change your mind. Your life is happening now, not someday, not later, not after you earn it.

So yes, my body and my mind may be living in two different age groups. Some days they negotiate. Some days they argue. But they are figuring it out together. My body brings play, my mind brings wisdom, and my spirit brings courage, and together they remind me that aging and life isn’t something to survive or endure. It’s something to participate in. And if there’s one thing I hope you take from this episode, it’s this, that you don’t have to wait for permission to live fully inside the age or the body you are right now. You can practice this in small, ordinary ways. So think about this in your own life, how are you participating in life? What can you do today to find that joy, to let go of those comparisons, to live the life you are thinking of, to become your full authentic self? And here’s a gentle “try this today,” if you’re open to it. Just once today, do something that your younger or your true self would recognize instantly, not because it reminds you of something or someone you no longer are, but because it makes you you. The real authentic you. Put on a song you love and let your body respond before your mind steps in to judge it. Take a walk without tracking it, timing it, or turning it into a task. Say no to something that drains you, or say yes to something that lights you up, even if it feels like a small thing. Notice the moment you start wondering what other people might think, and instead ask yourself, “What do I want right now?” Then honor that answer in one simple way, one simple thing you can do for yourself. This isn’t about changing your life overnight. It’s about practicing the art of listening to yourself again and trusting that the voice you hear is wise, but playful, and worthy of being followed. 

So move your body today in a way that feels good, not punishing. Stretch, walk, dance in your kitchen, lift something heavy (lift from the legs people, remember that!) or simply notice how it feels to inhabit your body with kindness. Let yourself enjoy music without managing it, turn it up, sing along, let your body respond before your inner critic steps in. Wear something this week that makes you feel like yourself, not like you’re trying to meet any expectation. Speak honestly when you’d normally edit yourself down, even if it’s just one sentence. And notice how much lighter you feel when you stop carrying the weight of other people’s opinions that were never yours to hold in the first place. Pay attention to what brings you alive and do a little more of that today and every day. Pay attention to what drains you and do a little less of that, today and every day. Thank you for being here, thank yourself for listening, thank yourself for appreciating your body, your mind and the life you are living and if you need to change some things, well today’s a good day to start. Living fully doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul, it’s built through small changes done one at a time, small acts of self-trust, repeated over time just like we are always talking about here. And if this episode made you smile, or a little lighter, or gave you even a small sense of permission to move, speak, or live a little more freely, please share it with someone who might need that reminder too. Stop acting your age, or your type of whatever it is that you feel is holding you back. In fact stop acting at all and let’s just all just be. Let’s all live out loud and proud, appreciating our bodies and minds at every age, in every space, little by little and peace by peace.