Piece Of Mind Podcast
Welcome to Piece of Mind, where we piece together the parts of your mind to help you live a life that’s authentic, unapologetic, and absolutely fulfilling.
I’m your host Ashley Badman, a mindset coach and psychology student, here to guide you through the world of subconscious re-programming, relationships, belief systems, and patterns.
This isn’t your typical mindset podcast. We’re diving deep into the core of who you are, tackling everything from self-sabotage and people-pleasing to attachment styles and beyond. We’ll uncover the deeper shit that makes you who you are, so you can grow, evolve, and build a life you’re obsessed with.
Expect a mix of evidence-based insights, energetic shifts, and a touch of chaos as we explore how to heal, optimize, and re-program your life.
This podcast is for those who refuse to settle, who are committed to living life fully and getting the best for themselves.
Get ready for straight talk, practical strategies, and a few surprises along the way. If you’re ready to stop hiding from yourself and start living unapologetically, you’re in the right place. Tune in and let’s get into it.
Piece Of Mind Podcast
Ep 09: My First Social Media Break in 5 Years: What’s Changed
In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain and sharing an honest life update. I dive into what it’s really been like running an online business for five years without a break from social media and why I finally logged out of Instagram after all this time.
I talk about the highs and lows of major life events that happened while still showing up online and managing a business, and I’m not holding back on how I’m really feeling right now.
From the juggle of studying for my psychology degree to running a business and being a mum, I get real about the challenges and where my head’s at with it all. I share updates on my goals, parenting, relationships, and what the future looks like for my studies.
Plus, I get candid about how I truly feel about my partner working FIFO.
Tune in for an honest chat about balance, growth, and what’s next.
Welcome to Peace of Mind the podcast. This is all about piecing together the parts of your mind so that you can live a life that is authentic, unapologetic and actually fulfilling. I'm your host, ashley Badman, and I'm here to help you get real with yourself, embrace who you truly are and unleash your fullest potential. Get ready for a no bullshit, straight talk and a little chaos, because I'm here to give you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. So let's go. Welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is a little bit different. I don't have a specific topic that I'm trying to teach you guys or talk about. I'm really just going to talk about a bit of a life update. Fill you guys in topic that I'm trying to teach you guys or talk about. I'm really just going to talk about a bit of a life update for you guys in on where I'm at and what I'm doing. I think this is going to be a challenging life update to do because I want to be so honest with you guys.
Speaker 1:Honesty is something that I value the most, but I am honestly in a phase at the moment where I'm not really sure, and that is being completely honest with you guys. I am in a phase at the moment where I'm not really sure, and that is being completely honest with you guys. I am in a period of my life where I think I have to really go internal and think about what I want to be doing, what is the impact that I want to be having? And I feel like for such a long time of my life, so for the last five years, I've been showing up online and I have run a coaching business. Obviously, in the first couple of years that was a nutrition coaching business and then we kind of transitioned from nutrition to mindset and combined the two and then we moved to just mindset and then we moved to nutrition I mean not nutrition, mindset and business and now I'm more just kind of in a space of mindset coaching. You guys know that I'm doing a degree in psychology. I've started that.
Speaker 1:It is challenging me a lot, but I feel like for the first time in this five-year journey of running a business, I'm giving myself the space to actually figure out what I want my life to look like. And that's really different for me, because I've been so used to putting my business first and I do think that that is a good thing and I think that it served its purpose, and I'm so grateful for my business. I'm so grateful for my drive and my determination to make it work and just to really be someone who is truly, truly passionate but also has the drive to bring that passion to life and bring my purpose to life, because anyone who has tried to run an online business and run it successfully to be your full-time job and full-time income kind of knows that it looks a little bit easier from the outside, but when you're actually in it, it is actually really challenging and to have the impact that you want to have, you really do kind of need it to be your full-time job. I'm very grateful for all of that, but what it has meant is that I have spent the last five years really focused on how I'm going to grow my business, how I'm going to have more impact on other people's lives, how I'm going to grow my business to help more people.
Speaker 1:And then we think about prior to me starting my business, I was in the police, so I spent four years in the police, which is very much also about how can I be of assistance to the community, how can I be of service, how can I help others, how can I make others' lives better? And prior to that, I did lots of different things study different jobs, but more importantly, I was a young mom, a teen mom. I became a mom at 18. So my life has very much been about how can I give my kids the best life, how can I focus on them, their happiness and all of those different things. And, as you can kind of see by all of that, there hasn't been a whole lot of focusing on just myself. And whilst I think that that's quite normal in life, especially when you become a young mom and you are really thrust into thinking about other people on a full-time basis and then going into a job where it's a service to other people, it is normal to not really just focus on ourselves and focus on others. But when you run a full-time online business where it is your job to show up full-time and I think the position that I've put myself in and nobody else but I've also kind of shown up in a way where I've shared a lot of myself and a lot of my life and I've posted on social media, on Instagram, for five years, so I have not taken a break from posting online, whether that's posting on my stories, posting on my grid, no-transcript. So I haven't posted, but I'm almost certain that I have not really ever skipped a full day or no more than 24 hours of posting on my stories for five years.
Speaker 1:So along that five years there's been a lot happening in my personal life. You know, I had my son get really, really sick and we spent six weeks in hospital and I wasn't even sure if he was ever going to get better. That was the most traumatic time in my life and that was all happening while running a business. I've moved states two times. Whilst doing that, I've been through a really hard personal journey that went through the courts and everything that no one even knows about whilst running my business. My dad passed away whilst running my business and not really many people knew that that was happening when it was happening, because that's a complex thing within itself, and I've also done a lot of inner growth on myself. I've grown so much as a person over these last five years, like if I think about Ash, who started the business and who had the very first idea of bringing to life Wellness by Ash, to the Ash that I am now, I am a very different person.
Speaker 1:But what's also had to happen along that time is, as I've worked on myself and as I've been growing, I've also been sharing and I've also been, you know, figuring out what I want to do and I've had to figure that out kind of publicly and I don't mean publicly as like I'm a celebrity, but you know there's people following my social media page and it almost feels like that. You know, making the decision to stop doing nutrition coaching and moving to mindset coaching. That's a big decision for me in my life and I had to think a lot about that and that came with a lot of challenges within myself to make that decision. And then when I made that decision on my page, it was met with a lot of hate and a lot of people disagreeing and a lot of people unfollowing me and a lot of people saying that all I wanted was money and I didn't care and dah, dah, dah. So it's like decisions that I make in my life for myself and for what I think is my purpose and my passion isn't just about me making that decision and off I go.
Speaker 1:When you are running a social media page and you've done so for so long and you've shared so much of your life, you're really opening yourself up to the decisions you make, being criticized or analyzed by people outside of yourself, and I guess that anyone who runs a social media page it's like well, if you're choosing to share your life, then those are the things that are going to happen, and I completely get that. Do I think it's okay for people to criticize other people's lives without knowing the behind the scenes and making it mean something about that person when they don't really know that person? No, I don't think it's okay. But it is life and it is what happens. But the point being isn't that anyway. The point being is just that I've always made very big, bold decisions about my business and about my life, but I've always had to share those things and I've always had to kind of figure it out as I go.
Speaker 1:And I guess the thing about me is I definitely think I have ADHD. I'm not diagnosed, so I'm not medically diagnosed, but I feel like I probably have ADHD and I am someone who changes my mind a lot, makes very quick decisions, and I'm obviously very grateful for that, because if I wasn't that person, I definitely wouldn't run a successful business. I think you need to be someone who can make decisions, change your mind and go after what you want, and not need to know the outcome. But it also means that I have to do that in a way where I'm figuring it out whilst running a business, whilst having people rely on me and whilst having people watch me. So it is quite challenging and I feel like at the moment. So I'm 31 at the moment. My kids are now 12 and 11. So my daughter's now in grade seven and my son is in grade five. Dave, my partner, has recently started doing fly in, fly Out, and I'm kind of at a stage now where we're going into a new year finishing up 2024, going into 2025.
Speaker 1:And I've had just such moments of, like, deep reflection about who I am, what I want to be doing, how I'm showing up online and the impact that I'm having because of the way that I show up online. So I actually have done something that I've never done. Of the way that I show up online, so I actually have done something that I've never done in the last five years, which is I logged out of my Instagram and that might seem so minor which, like, when I say it out loud, I'm like lol, that's not even a big deal, but for someone who has run a business online for five years, who has been logged into Instagram for five years, posting every single day to log out and not go on it, I was like wow, like it felt a little bit scary. But at the same time, the moment I logged out so this was only yesterday morning I felt like an instant relief of like, oh, I can actually just like sit with my thoughts, sit with myself. I know I'm sharing on here, but it's very different to share on a podcast than it is to like show up online all of the time and I feel like this is such a cool space for me to be able to just like share my real, honest, raw thoughts in the moment. And if you're here listening, thank you, I love you. But yeah, I logged out and it felt like an instant, like, oh, I get to just like kind of go internal and really sit with myself and really ask myself the questions and actually reflect, without having to kind of share that online, without having to figure out what content I'm going to post today, without really thinking about how this is going to impact my personal brand and if you don't post online and you don't run an online business. These are all real things that impact your full-time income. So it's not just like oh, what to post on social media and it's like something that's not important. For me, it really is important because it is my full-time income and I have a family and I also have bills to pay and I have all of those same things that other people have to worry about. So I still do have to worry about those things, but it just felt like the right thing to do. So I don't really have a plan with it of where I'm going to kind of log back in or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Initially I was like I'm just going to see how I go the day without going on it. And you guys, I actually cannot believe how many times I went to click on the app. Like it is highlighted to me how likely addicted I was to Instagram without even realizing it, because it was almost like I knew I was logged out. So when I click on the app, I don't actually go into Instagram, it just goes into that login page. I clicked on it I would say at least 20 times the first day that I was logged out, just going to that login page and being like, oh yeah, like I'm not actually on here, and it made me realize how often I do day that I was logged out, just going to that logging page and being like, oh yeah, like I'm not actually on here, and it made me realize how often I do it that I didn't even realize, even just in moments of like where I'm not really doing anything else, so like I don't know, I'm cooking dinner and I'm waiting.
Speaker 1:In between two things that need to be done, I'll click on my phone and click on Instagram, like that's how quick it was happening, and it's like it is such as hard balance when it comes to your kind of use of social media and your relationship with social media. When you run a full-time business on social media, it makes it a little bit different and I know as a whole social media, you know it's become something that can become another addiction for people to avoid their life or avoid their emotions or escape their reality and it can be a problem for for a lot of people and I get that. But I didn't think that that was me until the day that I logged out and I was like, oh my God, is it me. Am I the person that's addicted to social media? Like, why was it so automatic for me to click on that app? So that was interesting in itself.
Speaker 1:But the relationship I do have with social media is a tricky one because I get all of that. But I also know the power of social media in the most positive way, so long as we're not kind of using it as a distraction or addiction or a subconscious addiction where we don't even know that we're going on it as much as we are. But social media has afforded me a beautiful life and, most importantly, it's given me a platform to actually have a voice in things that I'm truly passionate about and do the things that I feel are my purpose, which is to really help people. So I'm very, very grateful for it. And I'm definitely not saying I'm logged out because I fucking hate social media and I never want to go on that app again Absolutely not.
Speaker 1:I'm logged out because, for the first time in my life, I'm like can you just give yourself the space that you need? Can you sit in your own thoughts? Can you have the spaciousness in your day and in your week to figure out your next move without figuring out your next move, while having to continue to show up and make moves and it's been nice. Like it's only the second day and I'm already like, do I even want to log back in? Like what if it gets to a week and I'm like, oh, I don't actually want to go back on there. I mean, I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm still going to keep doing the podcast so I can kind of update you guys.
Speaker 1:I'm still logged into TikTok. I don't really go on TikTok very often, so it's not even a habit for me to click on TikTok. However, I'm kind of playing around with the idea of just sharing more raw content on there. So maybe if you don't follow me on TikTok and I do choose to share some content over there and you want to still see my content, you can head over there or you can keep listening to the podcast. But that's what I'm kind of doing at the moment.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of just going internal, like what do I want to do next year? What do I want my business to look like? And I did kind of feel quite clear on it. But I'm starting to think I was feeling clear on it because I was just in that kind of go go, go, go go mentality how do I help more people, how do I have more impact? And I want to sit on it for a little bit longer. I know next year I do have big goals and a big vision for what I want to achieve, but I really need to figure out if all of the things that I thought I wanted to do are the things that I want to be doing and allow myself the space to sit with that.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to go through just a couple of I've written down some like dot points of areas of my life that I will update you guys on. Some of them will probably be very, very brief. The headings that I'm going to go over are just like kind of like my academic journey, so doing the degree where I'm at with that, if I still want to do it, because I've been very kind of 50, 50 with that, and I'll tell you guys why. The other thing I'm going to talk about is my own mental health and my own well-being, my parenting and my family life, my relationship podcast and business updates, personal growth and my goals and kind of what I'm focusing on in my daily routine and lifestyle and future plans and aspirations. These are kind of the headings that I think will fill you guys in the most, but, like I said'm still figuring it out, so I don't have all of the answers and I feel like there are things that I'm figuring out that I can't quite articulate yet to be able to share with you guys. But what I do want to normalize is really a couple of things Give yourself the space to actually listen to yourself and to, if you can. Obviously I feel like it's quite a luxury to be able to give myself space, and it's obviously not going to be for a long time and I say luxury and I guess it is.
Speaker 1:But I've also worked very, very, very hard to get to where I am. Someone said something to me once that I'm just so lucky that I got to run an online business and it'd be successful, and I don't think they meant any malice by it. But not one ounce of what I have is fucking luck, like not one ounce. I had no one in my business. No one in my business. No one in my life ever run a business or model that that can happen to me. I had to go through extremely hard things in my life, including to the point of what was going on in my life when I first started this business and the lowest of lows that I endured and still showed up for myself. Just absolutely everything. Showing up, making the decisions, dealing with failure, dealing with judgment, dealing with rejection, dealing with uncertainty, risking it all to start this business and going full steam ahead. Like none of it was luck. It was a lot of hard work by my part, but I do feel lucky in that I can make this decision to give myself a little bit more space to kind of figure out what I'm doing, and I'm not going to lie either.
Speaker 1:There was a small part of me that was like, mate, you're 30 fucking one. How are you still figuring out your life? Like, why do you not have it all figured out? Do you have a business? Do you have a beautiful family? Like, what the fuck do you want? And I had that in a dialogue and I was like, oh okay, one that's really harsh, like let's take it easy on myself. But I think it's a nice kind of reminder for all of us that we can go from having it figured out to not having it figured out, to having it figured out, to not having it figured out, and that doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. It is just life. As long as we can be completely honest with ourselves and accountable to ourselves, I don't think changing our mind is a bad thing, as long as we're not changing it to just escape things or because of lack of consistency or lack of grit or lack of resilience at seeing things through. And only we can really know that, and I know for me I've run my business for five years online. It's not a lack of grit or resilience, it's just, mate, you actually just need some fucking space and I really do have a big vision for myself and what I want to be doing, and I really do need to think about how I want to do that and how it's also going to mean that I get to live the life that I want to live, that I'm not burnt out, that I'm not sacrificing my own happiness to help other people be happy, because what is the point of that? That is not even a good leading by example anyway. All right, let's get into a couple of the updates.
Speaker 1:So, academic journey I am still studying my psychology degree. I am doing two units at the moment. The semester is finishing this week, so I did one of my final exams for one of my units last week and I will not get the results of that until December. And I have another exam that I'm doing tomorrow which I'm really, really nervous about because it's one of the units that I find so fucking hard and so challenging. So I'm scared I'm not going to pass and I really need to pass to pass the unit. Exams also freak me out and give me a lot of anxiety, so we'll see how I go. As for everything else that I've done assessments, essays, quizzes, all the things I've passed everything and actually gotten quite good marks, which shocks me so much because I always thought I was too dumb to be able to do this. But everything else I've gotten good marks in. So I am really relying on getting good marks in the exam to be able to pass the units, and then it will be what I do next. I think I'll have more units that start in February. I might have the option of doing one unit over December of more of a fast track kind of way, just to help me get my degree a little bit quicker, because it's going to take me a long time.
Speaker 1:Doing it part-time, I was having such big question marks around if I wanted to continue to do this degree, and for now it is a yes, I'm going to continue to do it, but it's not a certainty that that's what I'm going to finish like I'm going to finish it, which might sound crazy to some people. Why would you do something if you don't plan on finishing it? And look, I, I don't plan on not finishing it? Obviously, the plan would be to finish it, but I'm going to give myself the wriggle room to play it as I go, see how I'm going, see how it's benefiting me, see how I'm enjoying it, see if it actually benefits the bigger picture of what I'm actually trying to achieve, and if it doesn't, then can I be okay with that? So for now it's kind of still a little bit up in the air, but I was like ready to quit. I was like this isn't for me.
Speaker 1:For one, I feel like the things that I was learning. I'm like how does this actually help me with what I want to do? My initial goals were to be able to do talks for like the police and talks on like stages and things like that, and I'm not sure if that is the goal. I mean it might still be the goal, but I'm not sure it feels truly authentic to me in the impact that I want to be having. So that's still something I'm figuring out. But for now I think it's important that I just stick to what I'm doing and allow myself the time to think about what I need to think about, but not make any big rash decisions like quitting my degree or dropping out of my degree before I've even finished my exams and then not being able to complete those units, because at least if I decide afterwards that I'm going to take a break, I've still completed those units and if I want to pick it back up again, I don't have to start those units again. So that's where I'm at.
Speaker 1:It's hard to explain why I'm like kind of up in the air with it, because I've helped so many people. I've done other courses when it comes to like trauma and compassion, focused coaching and mindset courses and all these different things that have really, really helped me and obviously my own life experiences like I think that there are going to be so many psychologists out there who have no life experience and find it really hard to actually connect with the people that they're helping, and maybe there is a bit of a disconnect and I'm not sure I fully agree with the system in everything. So there's a kind of an internal battle. But I think that if I keep going, I owe it to myself to do that, to keep going. But I need to give it time to see how it's going to benefit me. And at the moment I'm just viewing it as I don't need this to be able to impact people and help people. It's more of like a supplementary thing that I'm doing as I continue my work and as I continue to help people. So that's kind of where I'm at with that.
Speaker 1:Balancing doing it with being a mom has been quite challenging. To be honest, I'm only doing two units, which isn't even classified as full-time, it's part-time but it is a lot of work. The workload is huge, especially for the unit that's like data and stats and things like that, because I find it really fucking challenging. So I'm balancing that. I am balancing running my business full-time. I'm balancing being a mom of two kids who do you know, after school sports, before school sports, and just honestly like obviously needing my time and attention and all those different things, all of the house duty so cooking dinner, loading and unloading the dishwasher, doing the washing, hanging it up, folding it, and when you live in a house with, like, kids and stuff, the washing there's always fucking washing, there's always washing. And then just cleaning the house, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the floors, all of the things. I also have three dogs that I'm feeding and looking after and entertaining and making sure they're okay, because at the same time that I started uni, a week later, dave got his fly in, fly out job. So he's gone for 14 days and only back five. So a lot of the load has gone on to me and I would be lying if I didn't say that it was challenging me. I'm doing my best to kind of work through how I can support myself and how I can make sure that I'm looking after myself without putting the pressure on myself. But it's been fucking hard, you guys.
Speaker 1:And like I'm not a domestic goddess, I'm the furthest thing from whatever you imagine a domestic goddess to be. I'm the first thing from that. I am like not very good at cleaning a house. I'm like literally have the biggest pile of washing that needs to be folded. It's clean washing, but I just can't be fucked folding it Like I just don't fully enjoy those things. And cooking, cooking I don't hate cooking, but it's just like I have so many things on my plate that sometimes, thinking about going in the kitchen and cooking for however long I'm like and like my lunch, then I get neglected with my like, not eating lunch and I have to make sure I'm on top of all that. So there's a lot on my plate. I'm doing the best to manage it, which is why I'm also going into reflection as well, because it's like I want to enjoy my life as well, but I know I want to do this degree and I have kids, so obviously they're not going anywhere. I have dogs they're not going anywhere. I have a house that's not going anywhere. I have a business that I don't want to go anywhere because I love my business. But how can I make sure that my life is also supporting my happiness and not just feeling like, oh my God, this is so busy and this is so fucking chaotic?
Speaker 1:The next point was my mental health and well-being. Again, I told you guys I was going to be really honest with you guys. I've just been feeling quite anxious lately and I know in my body what I feel like when I'm anxious and I also know what to do, like I know all of the things. I've been getting out into the sunshine I've not been going on my phone when I first wake up. I've been doing a lot of grounding. So, feet in the earth, whether that's the sand, whether that's the ocean or the grass, whatever it, it is nourishing my body, getting enough sleep, going to bed on time, like all those different things. I've been doing all of the things but I just feel this like weird anxiousness that keeps coming up and I'm kind of like why the fuck are you here and again? It's just something that I'm navigating and I just wanted to be really honest with you guys.
Speaker 1:I did go back to the gym for the first time today in the longest time and it felt really, really good. So I really do want to implement that. Before that, I've kind of just been going for like walks and stuff like that. If you are only kind of knowing me now, a couple of years ago I was literally obsessed with the gym. I went six days a week. My life was the gym. Tracking calories and macros was my fucking life, like. And then I kind of went too far the other way where I was like fuck the gym, fuck calories and macros, and now I'm just kind of finding that balance of like.
Speaker 1:Obviously I still need to look after my health, parenting and family. So parenting is going really, really great. I feel super, super, super blessed with my two. They are such beautiful and brilliant kiddos. They've been helping me so much. With Dave being gone, obviously there's like the little moments of them being kids and my daughter's like 13 soon and all of the different things. But I'm just enjoying. I'm enjoying them. I'm enjoying being a mom. I really love this age. It's actually quite a fun time, like they're still kind of young enough for us to do fun things together and for them to like really adore me, which hopefully they always do. But yeah, it's just, it's a really good time. Family life'm, I would say, feels lacking because Dave isn't here, and this will kind of go into relationship as well, so we can like bundle these two together.
Speaker 1:When Dave and I met, we met in the police, so we were spending like eight to twelve hours in a car together. Like that's a lot of time and we loved it. We loved it. We loved working together. We love going to jobs together. Early on in our relationship we also we went to Bali for a week and then right after that we got locked down into COVID and David just recently moved in with me and the kids. So I think we dated like a year maybe. Then um moved in and we went into lockdown and we were together for like every single waking moment of the day for two years. And then we moved to New South Wales and we moved into my parents' tiny three bedroom villa.
Speaker 1:So Dave and I's start of our relationship was like we were together a lot, we spent a lot of time together and it was the fucking best. Like we are not the couple that's like we need more time apart to be able to like value each other. We're like I want to hang out with you all the time because you're my fucking bestie and I love spending time with you. So for him to do fly and fly out. It's been really challenging for both of us and for the kids as well, because they kind of had the same relationship with Dave as I do, cause he's always been with us, cause he worked for me in my business, so he was going to all of the school things, every sporting thing after school, all of the swimming lessons, like it was. Both of us were always showing up and now it's just me, and they obviously love that. But they really get excited to be able to like have Dave there. So for that to not be happening is a little bit challenging for them as well.
Speaker 1:But I just miss him, you know. Like it's not even like, oh, it's hard because I have to do everything by myself. It's like I just miss my best friend. I miss having chats with him. We literally shower together every single night and not in like a weird, like too much information way, like literally we just shower together because we sit, we stand there in the shower and talk for fucking the whole entire shower, like we haven't just spent the whole day together, like we just enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 1:So we've been really reassessing, like if this is right for us, because he's gone for two weeks back for five days, gone for two weeks back for five days, like he he's not even home long enough to really settle, and and then he's back for three days and then the last two days. We're kind of just thinking about that he's leaving again. It's fucking depressing. So for me it's kind of just like I don't really see the point of having I don't know, because I know a lot of other people do fly and fly and like I truly think, like whatever works for you and your relationship is perfect, and like there is no right or wrong. But for us I'm just like I don't see the point of us being apart for so long and this sounds really morbid. But like what if something was to happen to one of us and we'd spent the last year barely hanging out with each other and barely being together and texting and being on the phone? Um is truly just not the same. So we're trying to figure out right now how that looks for us and him.
Speaker 1:Getting kind of a new job that's closer to home. Like my goal is to either have land, like have a little house on land and have chickens and pigs and all of the things, and my other goal is to have a caravan travel around Australia. So I'm not really about like the extravagant life not that that's wrong but like I just want the simple things. They're kind of my goals and both of them really just relate to us spending more time together as a family and the kids being around and Dave being around and us enjoying each other and enjoying each other's company because, at the end of the day, that's what it's all about. It's not about how much fucking success you had or how much money you had. It's about enjoying the time that you had with the people that you love. So, yeah, we're just kind of figuring that out and hopefully not having to do fly and fly out for too much longer.
Speaker 1:It also has challenged us in many, many ways. There's been things that we've had to work through. It hasn't always been smooth sailing. I've got frustrated at him and felt a little bit resentment while I'm here with all of the workload on me and just so fucking tired. But then I just have to check back in with myself and really get in touch with what I'm actually feeling. And it's not resentment, it's just kind of sadness. I wish you were here and I wish I wasn't doing this by myself and I enjoy being a team with you. So then, not coming at him with like I resent you, coming out with him like I actually just miss you and I miss us being a team so it can feel like resentment, but it's actually not that it's. It's the thing beneath the surface that I'm actually trying to say. So we've had to really work on our communication a lot and being really, really honest with each other and there's been, like you know, he's had to have conversations with me. I never want to pretend like it's all like oh my God, so amazing all of the time. We're a normal fucking relationship. We have shit that comes up and we have to navigate it and we do navigate it, but at the end of the day, I love him more than life itself and I miss him a lot and I can't wait till he's not doing this fucking job because I'm so over it.
Speaker 1:Podcast and business update. So podcast I've been really, really slack and I'm kind of pissed off at myself because when I started this new podcast, I was like I really want to be consistent. Because I love the podcast audience. I feel like it's like if you're sitting down to listen to me for this long, we are fucking connected. I freaking love you and that's a vibe and I can just like riff and and share shit about my life, but also like deeper, meaningful topics that I'm actually fucking passionate about without you having to pay shit for it. So I'm going to be more consistent with the podcast and like I really I'm not just going to say that like I. That's such a bullshit to be like. I'm going to be more consistent, knowing full well I'm probably going to fucking drop off in a couple weeks. I'm going to hold myself so fucking accountable and I'm going to come back and listen to this and be like bitch. You said you were going to be more accountable. Show up to your podcast more.
Speaker 1:What people don't recognize as well, the podcast is completely if I get paid, fuck all for this podcast. Absolutely zero dollars for this podcast. My mom was like how much do you get paid to do that? I was like nothing. She was like oh, so you just do it because you want to. I'm like, yes, how shocking. But I don't get paid anything for this podcast. I just do it because I want to help more people and I like connecting with more people and I like sharing information that I think is of value to people. So I want to be more consistent with the podcast.
Speaker 1:I have a new kind of project which I will let you guys in on very, very soon, but does revolve around podcasts, business updates so really working hard on the project for next year. So when I say I don't really know what I want to be doing I do. There's just the finer details that I'm like, more the vibe behind it, the type of people I want to work with, the type of impact that I want to have. But there are some big, big, big things that are in the works for next year that I've never, ever done before and it's very different to anything I've ever done before. Some elements of it, not all of it. So I guess there are some nerves there and just there's still a little bit of things that I still need to work out. So business is still very much focused on mindset and all of those different things that I'm incredibly passionate about.
Speaker 1:I definitely do want to do more in person, like one day events and things like that. So figuring out the details of that and also the things that just come up with that you know like it's like when you host in-person events. It's like hosting a fucking birthday party that you're worried no one's going to attend, like how fucking embarrassing it's, like you really have to put yourself out there in these situations and I have to like let my ego take a backseat and be like this isn't about you, this is about the impact. That just have to kind of suck it up that like there is a possibility that I put out like, hey, I'm going to do an in-person event in Melbourne at this location and nobody actually wants to come, which obviously I'm also not going to lie and be like that would be so fun, like I don't even care, like I'd probably bore my eyes out like a fucking baby and be scared to ever kind of put myself out there like that again. But again, I know the in-person events have way more impact and it's just so much more connection. So I'm going to like put my ego aside and I'm going to do the thing anyway and that is definitely part of the future plans for next year.
Speaker 1:As for now, I'm still running the Unapologetic Woman, which I'm loving so much. That group is an absolute vibe. I've just started with a new one-on-one MindTech client who has been a a mindset client of mine in the past for a very, very long time. So for her to come back when she needed some support was really, really special and really amazing. I am still going to be taking on some one-on-one clients. It's just going to be very selective and very intentional. So if you were kind of like well, I want some help with my mindset. I want some like in-person like not in-person personalized support. You can always reach out to me, but for now I'm really, really, really focused on what I want to be doing next year and it's very different to what I'm doing this year In regards to, like, personal growth and goals. There's not much I can really say on this one.
Speaker 1:I feel like I'm always focusing on growing as a person, understanding myself on a deeper level. I feel like that's literally what I'm doing right now with taking a step back. It's not taking a step back, a sense, it's taking a step inwards, to be like let's take a fucking minute to really set you up to be able to flourish next year. It's like when you pull back an arrow and then it launches forward. It's kind of like I'm pulling back, but for the first time, I'm actually pulling back and logging off of Instagram and giving myself that time and space to really go internal and, I guess, for personal growth and things like that I'm really just focusing on. You know, we've switched our water over to a much cleaner and healthier water. We've swapped our washing detergent to a more natural washing detergent. Just making little switches in our household, especially those they are having two chronic diseases. We really want to be on top of that, and I really want to be on top of that for myself as well, focusing on eating just healthier, more whole food meals, and I want to get back into the gym, like I said, so really focusing on just looking after myself on a physical level, because obviously that's going to help my mental health a whole freaking lot.
Speaker 1:The last thing was future plans and aspirations, which I feel like I've kind of gone over this whole podcast. You kind of get it Like I'm still going to continue to do my degree until I decide fuck this or until I finish. We'll see which one comes first. Stand by. Um, business next year I have a lot of big goals that I want to bring to life. Relationship. I'm hoping that Dave will be home a lot more and no longer doing fly and fly out.
Speaker 1:I hope that this update well, what am I going to say? I hope this update what I don't know, like you're literally just sitting here listening to me tell you about my life. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it's insightful, something I really want to try and balance, which is going to be ironic coming at the end of a life update. But I really think I need to find the balance in having big impact in the world, because I really truly desire that.
Speaker 1:Like I want to change the fucking world. You guys like that sounds big and bold, but like if no one believes they can change the world, then who the fuck is changing the world? So many things have changed in our world since even just the fucking 50s and 60s because one or two people have decided I can do this and then done it. So I want to change the world, but I have to figure out a way to do that. I'm trying to you you can tell I'm saying it so robotic because I'm trying to figure out the right way to say it, but there is no right way to say it. I have to find a way to do that while still protecting my inner peace.
Speaker 1:So I have to be able to look after myself and not get too invested and too, like, I guess, in so many other people's lives and really focus on how can I have impact while still focusing on myself for my mental health and not burning out and not kind of feeling that I need to be a part of everyone's life in a personal, personal way, that I need to help, and obviously that's so beautiful and I'm so grateful of whoever's lives I get to be a part of. I love you all so much, um, but if I want to help people on a bigger scale, I have to protect myself and just figuring out how to do that. So, yeah, if you want to connect and still want to have chitty chats, you can just kind of. I have WhatsApp, I have Telegram, and if you listen to this podcast and you're like fucking, slay Ash loved it, you want to tell me that. Please message me on one of those or email me. I should. I should be back on Instagram very, very soon. I just don't know if I'm going to be back on Instagram on that same account, though. See, that's another thing that I'm thinking about. Do I start fresh? Because when I started that page and I got majority of my followers, it was as a nutrition coach. So much has changed, but my followers are still kind of like. I think some people have like come with me and like fuck, yes, slay Ash, we love the mindset vibe, we're so about it. And I think some people have just like not hit unfollow, but just like aren't about it and really just wanted to focus on like following someone about, like weight loss and calories and things like that, which is so not me now. So do I start fresh and like, let the ego take a hit of no longer having like nearly 13,000 followers and just having maybe 50 followers. But like, like, what a cool vibe if we had just like 50 people who were like, fuck, yeah, we love this. I don't know, I don't know. There's lots to think about, lots to contemplate, but for now I will wrap this podcast episode up. I can't wait to hear from you all. I don't know why I always have to finish up with singing, because it's a vibe whenever you're listening to this morning, afternoon, night, night. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day morning, afternoon, night, whatever the fuck I'm saying. Love you, bye.