Piece Of Mind Podcast

Ep 11: Mindset Reset Series Part 1 - Let Go of Whats Holding You Back

• Ashley Badman

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Welcome to Episode 1 of “Mindset Reset for Your Best Year Yet,” the first in a 5-part series designed to help you create real change in 2025. 

In this episode, we’re diving into what’s been holding you back: those limiting beliefs, habits, and emotions keeping you stuck, and showing you how to let them go.

You’ll learn how to create space for something better, rewrite the beliefs shaping your life, and start showing up as the version of you who’s ready to make 2025 epic. 

This isn’t just about listening, it’s about doing the work. Let’s start now.

If you’re ready to stop playing small and start living aligned, press play.

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Personal Page: ashleybadman_
Business Page: builtfor.better

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast. We are kick-starting a brand new series that I think is the perfect timing of the year to have this conversation, and the series is called Mindset Reset for your Best Year. Yet, as you guys know, I'm your host, ash, and I am so excited you're here especially for this conversation. If you are choosing to listen to this, it's not by accident. This series isn't about throwing around ideas or making another new year, new me resolution that literally fizzles out by February. We are not about that around here. This is about making a real commitment to yourself to actually show up, to actually back yourself, like wholeheartedly back yourself, even when there is challenges, hurdles, setbacks, failures which will all inevitably happen across a 12 month period, across 2025, especially if you're leaving your comfort zone, especially if you're chasing your biggest wildest dreams and to do the damn work. To not just talk about doing the work, to not just listen to podcasts like this, to not just read all of the books, to not just say this is what I want and I'm not getting there as fast as I want or I don't know why it's not as easy for me or I'm not as lucky as everyone else. This is about a commitment to you doing the work that is required of you to create the life you want. You are in complete control of the life that you create and, whilst there are going to be things that happen in your life, and likely happen in 2025, that are completely out of your control, you can control how you handle those circumstances, and the stronger and more resilient your mindset is, the easier it's going to be to handle whatever the fuck life throws at you. This is about you making a commitment to yourself today, as you listen to this podcast, that you are going to put in the work required to build the life that you want, that you are going to be the person that achieves every single thing that you actually desire. You are going to wake up every single day from this moment forward and ask yourself who do I need to be and what small thing do I need to do today to achieve everything that I want?

Speaker 1:

And I want to make it super, super clear that when we show up as our best version of ourselves, we also have to have patience. We can't expect after a couple of weeks or a month, or even six months, for our whole life to change, and if it does, that's incredible. But if it takes a little bit longer, longer, can that actually be okay? Can you be the person that is so resilient and so mentally strong that you are willing to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, because you know you were going to get what you want? You are not going to give up. You are not going to say that this is not possible for me and I can't have this. You were going to say it's not happening right now, but I'm going to continue to show up as a version of myself that I'm proud of, because I know it's going to happen. If it's not happening now, it will in my future.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that I think is really important to be super, super clear about, especially as someone who helps people have behavioral change, change their neural pathways, literally change their mind, change their behaviors, change their reactions and change their circumstances. Change doesn't just happen. A better year, a better life that doesn't just land in your lap, because one day you decide you want it. You have to be willing to make it happen, and that starts now. It starts with the choices that you make today, the shifts that you commit to and the actions that you decide to take after this episode, where I see people go wrong with not achieving what they actually want to achieve and not becoming the person that they actually want to become, and not actually achieving the neuroplasticity that they actually require, which is changing the neural pathways in your brain to be more supportive of the future that you want, rather than limiting the future. That you want is that they don't take enough aligned action, consistently enough. They choose what they've always chosen. They choose what's comfortable. They aren't willing to get really, really uncomfortable. They aren't willing to show themselves some compassion, they aren't really willing to be a little bit more gritty, and that's what it really takes.

Speaker 1:

I don't want you to just listen to another thing and be like, okay, cool, like I've listened to the thing, now you know I've set my goals and now I'm just going to hope for the best. I want you to listen to this and be like I can fucking do this. I can fucking show up for myself. I am the person that is going to make this happen, but it is going to require me to do things differently, to take different action. I want you to come into this series ready to take it seriously, like really, really ready. That's all that I ask of you. Don't just listen to this and you know you're probably cleaning your house or you're going for a walk or you're driving in the car and that's so fine, perfect. I want this to be easy and accessible for you, but I want you to really listen to the words. I want you to actually understand the words and I want you to actually reflect yourself, so that this podcast isn't just another thing that you listen to. It's not just another bullshit, fucking inspirational. Kick up the ass. I want you to actually use this podcast to take action, not just to really listen, but to really act.

Speaker 1:

And this isn't me talking at you from some pedestal. I am literally right here in this with you. I am working through these exact things myself, because I know that 2025 will only be epic if I make it epic. I have lots of things that I'm going to be working on. I have lots of shifts that I have to be making. I'm not saying this from. I've been there, done that, and, whilst I have done a lot of things and I've learned a lot of things, I'm doing this with you guys, so let's do it together.

Speaker 1:

So let's start this with the stories that we carry. We all have them. Everyone, every single human being on this planet Narratives about who we are, what we're capable of and how the world actually works from our own lens, and these stories may feel like they're protecting us or keeping us safe, but the truth is they're often the very thing that is keeping you very stuck. I want you to think about your life right now. Where are areas in your life that you feel quite stuck or stagnant? Where are areas in your life where you feel like you're not getting any closer to the life that you actually want or the version of yourself that you actually want to be? Maybe it's patterns that you continue to play out. Maybe you continue to self-sabotage. Maybe you continue to people, please. Maybe you continue to have an all or nothing mindset and set these big, amazing goals for yourself, but never quite get there. Maybe it's in friendships. Maybe it's in relationships. Maybe it's in career. Maybe you run your own business. And why these things are there is because they are protective mechanisms. They are there thinking that they're keeping us safe, because they're keeping us in the familiar, but I want you to really have those things in mind when we're listening to this podcast.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's the story that you're not good enough. Maybe it's that you think you're too much, or that you're not the kind of person who can make big things happen. Maybe it's the belief that things are just the way that they are and nothing will ever change. You can't help it. This is the card you were dealt, which, by the way, is the saying that I hate the absolute most. Or well, these are the cards that I dealt because it disempowers you. It makes you think that your life was already planned for you and there's absolutely nothing you can do, which is absolute bullshit.

Speaker 1:

Every single day that we wake up and open our eyes and take a breath is an opportunity to build a life that we love. It is to let go of everything that has happened the day before, the month before, the years before, and choose differently. Whatever the story actually is for you, it's holding you back and it is actually time to rewrite it. Only you can decide to do that, and this episode is all about identifying those narratives and understanding how they've been keeping you safe, but very, very small, or feeling very, very stuck, and then we're going to move into creating something new. We'll talk about how to rewrite these belief systems that are shaping your reality so you can actually step into 2025 feeling super fucking aligned and super empowered and I use the word empowered rather than motivated, of course. I want you to listen to this podcast and leave being like, fuck, yeah, I'm ready and I'm motivated, but motivation is going to dwindle off. It's not going to stay there, but feeling a deep sense of empowerment for who you are and what you're capable of, and reminding yourself of that every fucking day. That is going to stick with you and that is going to create change in your life.

Speaker 1:

So let's start by asking yourself this what is holding me back? Even if you want to pause right now and write it down right at the top of your notepad and actually think about it. The amount of times where I see people have the most basic question asked to them. They're like, oh, I don't know, I can't think of anything. It's like, yes, you can, but you're just using your brain to say I don't know, rather than actually give yourself the space to sit with the question.

Speaker 1:

And what happens is the most basic of questions can lead to the most amazing breakthroughs or realizations, if you allow them to. You're going to start with the surface level thing. What's holding me back? It's probably going to be one sentence, something really basic, something really easy, but then you're going to be the one that dives into it. Where did that come from? Why is it holding me back? How does it actually hold me back? Actually, allow yourself to have some curiosity. Allow yourself to take the question deeper. It is from the most basic and simple questions that we actually learn the most, and a lot of people think that when they do mindset work, it has to be this big mind-blowing question and this big mind-blowing moment. But it's not. It is in the basic questions that you actually allow yourself to properly think about. So take a moment to really think about it, not just on the surface, but actually deep down.

Speaker 1:

What beliefs, what habits or what emotions are you carrying that are keeping you small? What habits are you doing in your day-to-day that aren't serving you and aren't benefiting you? What emotions do you really really struggle with? What beliefs do you have that aren't benefiting you? What stories do you tell yourself? What do you think about yourself? What do you say about yourself? What do you say about the world? Actually allow yourself to think about it, and I'm going to give you three areas that you can really reflect on to help this question be a little bit easier. The first area is limiting beliefs. So these are really just the deep-seated stories like I'm not capable, people like me don't succeed or I always mess things up, and these beliefs are not facts. You may think that they are and you may be giving yourself all of the evidence in the world that they are facts, but they're actually not. They're narratives that you've internalized from experiences from people or even society, and you have to ask yourself are they true and, more importantly, are they serving you? Because we cannot create change with anything if we don't first bring awareness to it and then accountability to it.

Speaker 1:

The next thing that you can look at is the habits that keep you safe but stuck. So what patterns are you repeating? Because they feel easy? Maybe it's procrastination, because starting feels super fucking overwhelming. Maybe you say things like it's not a good time to start, or I'll start next week, or I'll start when this happens, or I'll start when I have this available to me, rather than just starting. And those things aren't truth. Those things are actually just helping you feel safe.

Speaker 1:

You could start right now, but you're scared, you have fear, it feels overwhelming. You don't know what to expect. You tell yourself, I don't know where to start, but nobody really knows exactly where to start. The point is that you just start where you think that you can and you start there and you take steps, baby steps, day by day. Maybe it's even self-sabotage, like talking yourself out of opportunities because failure feels too risky for you. You're so scared of the possibility that might not work out that you never actually try. And the reason that we do this as humans is because then we can guarantee the outcome. If I don't actually try, then I never have to fail. Rather than what if I try and what if I fail? That feels too scary for us. There's too many unknowns. We would rather have so much control even if the control is the thing that doesn't benefit us than actually just allow ourselves to leap head fucking first into the unknown. And either way, what have you got to lose? If you don't try? You're going to fail. If you try and you fail, you're at the same position that you were if you didn't try anyway. Only now you've probably learned a shitload of lessons, you've built a shitload more resilience and you're going to be better equipped to try again. So these habits? They might feel safe, but they are not helping you grow and we cannot take them into 2025 and expect our life to be different doing the same shit over and over and over again.

Speaker 1:

The third thing that you can look at is unresolved emotions. So what anger, what resentment, what shame or regret are you holding onto? Regret is such a fucking killer because you can't do anything with it. If you regret something that you've already done, what does regretting it actually do? Does it change what happened? Absolutely not. Does it make you feel shit about yourself and limit you from doing differently in the future? Absolutely it does. Shame is just you judging yourself, thinking something's wrong with you. Again, it does nothing. It just keeps you stuck and the resentment and the anger it can be towards yourself.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you're frustrated at yourself. Maybe you're sick of your own shit and you resent yourself for decisions that you've already made or haven't made. Maybe you're angry with yourself. Maybe you're angry with family. Maybe you had a really shit upbringing and it's made life feel a little bit more challenging for you and you've had to overcome a lot more hurdles than people who haven't had shit childhood. Maybe there is some anger that is still in your body resentment, shame and regret that is still in your body. And if you do not learn how to deal with these, manage these, regulate these and release these, they are going to dictate the year ahead.

Speaker 1:

These emotions don't just sit there quietly. They shape how you see yourself and the decisions that you make every single day. And we know that every decision we make every single day is shaping who we are, who we become and the life that we actually have. And if your emotions are dictating your decisions and those decisions are not benefiting you, then you're going to constantly feel like you're stuck. So I want you to ask yourself what is weighing me down? What's keeping me tied to the past? And this is time to get brutally fucking honest with yourself. I am all for compassion. You guys know that I froth it, I teach it. I think it's super important. But there is a time and a place where we actually have to get honest with ourselves and take accountability and responsibility, because if we're just like, oh, I just you know it's too hard for me and I just really want to be nice to myself it could be the very thing that's keeping us stuck. Now you don't have to be an asshole to yourself. But you have to allow yourself to get really, really honest.

Speaker 1:

The truth is, holding onto these beliefs, these habits, all these emotions doesn't protect you. Protect you, it's just keeping you stuck. When your mind and energy are consumed by fear and shame and resentment, you have no room for growth, you have no room for possibility. Letting go isn't about pretending that things never happen Absolutely fucking not. We can never just pretend things have never happened. Actually, I think that's like a really unhealthy coping mechanism, but that's a whole other story. But it's about deciding they don't get to control you anymore. That's all it is. It's not letting it control you. It's releasing it from yourself. It's freeing yourself from it. It's about creating the freedom to write a new story, one where you get to decide what is possible for your life.

Speaker 1:

And now that I've harped on about letting go, we're going to go over how to actually let go, because I think that that's really important. I do want to preface that, obviously, when it comes to letting go, depending on how big the thing is that you are needing to let go of, it can take some time. It's not going to be like. I've listened to this podcast and I did these journal prompts and it should be gone. And now it's not gone. I don't want to lead you into that false pretense that that's how easy it is. Sometimes it can be really, really challenging and that's why doing the work is called doing the work. It's not always easy, sometimes it's hard, but it's very fucking worth it. So letting go it's a process, but it truly just starts with intention.

Speaker 1:

So here are three tools that are going to help you with that process. The first one is you can try journaling, and if you roll your eyes when you hear that and you're like I don't have the time for that, make the time. We are not going into 2025 saying we don't have the time to do things that are benefiting us, because has that benefited you up until this point? Has saying I don't have time for things benefited you up until this point? We have to be willing to do different. We have to be willing to try different, and if you journaled in the past but you've kind of slipped off on that, this is a time. This is your reminder or your sign that it's time to maybe pick it back up again. And it doesn't have to be complicated. You don't have to write a fucking novel. You just have to start, and letting your thoughts get out of your brain is incredibly useful. So journaling can help you process and help you release.

Speaker 1:

Here are some prompts that I'm going to give you that could maybe guide you, because, if you're like me, I find it hard to just like sit down and start writing because I'm like, what the fuck am I writing about? But if I have some sort of a prompt or some sort of a guide, my mind is just like and I can just like keep fucking going. So these might help you. The first prompt that you can use is what belief, habit or emotion is no longer serving me. And see how simple they get to be. See how simple these processes get to be. And hear how I use the word simple, not easy, because just because something is simple doesn't mean that it is not hard challenging, emotional, all of the different things but it does get to be simple. Let's not fucking overcomplicate working on ourselves, because it doesn't need to be overcomplicated.

Speaker 1:

The next prompt that you could use for a journal prompt is what story have I been telling myself and how has it shaped my life? So when you hear these prompts, the key is don't overthink it. Do not overthink it. Half the problem with people not succeeding and not achieving the life that they want is fucking overthinking. So just hear the words and think of the first thing that comes to your mind and roll with it, because if it's the first thing that comes to your mind, it's there for a reason. Now let yourself explore it, get curious with it and take yourself deeper. The next prompt that you could use is what could my life look like if I let go of this and really allow yourself to feel this one? Maybe it's even closing your eyes, rather than journaling and visualizing your life without this thing, without this feeling, without this habit, where would your life be? What would you be doing? How would you be feeling? And even if it feels like that's fucking lame, I don't want to visualize. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

The next step is visualization. So, like you're just going to, you're just going to have to use it. I literally am obsessed with F1. You guys know this. It's my favorite sport in the world, and they are high level athletes under the most stress and pressure ever, and they use visualization to help them. I know I've watched so many athlete docos as well, and visualization is one of the key things that I've noticed across the board that majority of very, very successful athletes do so when we're like, oh, that's lame, I don't want to do that. Da, da, da da. It's like that's probably why we're not where we want to be, because we're so busy saying things are lame and we don't want to do them and we don't have time when the people that are succeeding are trying it out, doing it and having success with it. So let's have an open mind going into 2025.

Speaker 1:

The next journaling prompt that you could use is what do I need to forgive, whether it be myself or others, to move forward? Now, if you really allow yourself to sit with this one, it could be quite emotional. For me, it was very, very emotional, and I want to really preface that. Forgive doesn't mean I'm okay with what you did. I'm okay with your behavior. I accept your behavior. It doesn't mean any of those things. It's allowing yourself to let go of the weight that it is putting on you.

Speaker 1:

That is what forgiveness is, and sometimes we do need to forgive ourselves, and people have a little bit of a weird opinion on this, and I get it. I actually do get it, and it's like you shouldn't have to forgive yourself because you haven't done anything wrong. And I get that. I don't want it to be feeling like you've done something wrong and you need to forgive yourself, but sometimes it can feel like you actually just need that. You need to be the one to be like you know what you did do that thing, you did make those mistakes, you did fuck up here and it's okay. It's okay that you did those things. I'm going to let go of that and I'm not going to hold onto it and like just the release and the energy that you can release from your body because of that can be super beneficial. So the second thing we can do that was all on journaling. So those are some prompts.

Speaker 1:

I do like to give a lot of prompts. If you're doing any kind of like group programs with me, mindset programs with me, any of those different things, I like to give quite regular prompts because I think it allows you to get a little bit curious and not just kind of have to like poof an idea into your mind yourself. So I think they truly can be really, really powerful. I don't really do it with my one-on-one clients because our conversations are what kind of offers, the prompts and we can take it deeper together, but really, really powerful for you to do on your own in a really easy and free way. And that's the thing as well. A lot of people like I can't work on myself. Everything costs so much money. I'm poor, blah, blah, blah. If you have a notepad and a pen and a fucking question, you can take yourself a little bit deeper into your mind and it's completely free. So, depending on what you have available to you at the moment, if you can't afford to actually invest in yourself, you can afford to do those things. So, meet yourself where you're at and do what you can with what you have.

Speaker 1:

The second thing, other than journaling, is visualization, which I just said, and something that I would encourage you guys to do, and I've been doing quite regularly lately because I have quite a big vision for myself in 2025, 2024,. Whilst I felt like I did some things that I've never done before and hit some milestones and all those different things and achieve things, it was also a really hard and challenging year for me. So what I have been doing to help set myself up for a better 2025 is a visualization. So what you can do is you can do a guided visualization, by the way, or you can just literally close your eyes and do a visualization for yourself. For someone who finds it hard to visualize things or imagine things, you might want to actually do a guided visualization. You could probably find them on Spotify or YouTube and things like that. I think Joe Dispenza I've done a couple of his ones and they're really good, so you might want to look up him and do his ones.

Speaker 1:

I offer visualizations inside my program so I do guided visualizations and stuff like that because they are really powerful. So what you can do is you can picture yourself as your future self, someone who's already let go of the baggage that you feel that you are maybe carrying. I don't know if I like the word baggage, but we're like going to roll with it, because you get the picture when I say that how do you feel? So close your eyes. You don't have to do it now if you don't want to, but it's something I encourage you to do, even if you can do it daily. But if you can't commit to daily, that's okay, but maybe if you even do it once a week, I get Dave to do it as well, because I really do believe in it. But you can close down your eyes and you can think of your future self, like really allow yourself to, like take some deep breaths and allow yourself to be present in that moment. Allow yourself to use your imagination, allow yourself to really see you in the future. How do they feel? How do they move through life? And then what you can use through this visualization is seeing what you're doing, seeing who you're around, seeing how life feels for you.

Speaker 1:

After you do these visualizations which I prefer to do in the morning because I think sets you up for a really good tone for the day because you're like that's what I fucking want, I know what it looks like and now I'm ready to go after it. And then you're going to make decisions that align with that a lot quicker and a lot easier, because it makes you kind of hungrier to achieve it. But what you want to do is really just then, let yourself embody that version of yourself, that version of you, and use it as inspiration. Sometimes I get me and Dave like we both do this to ask ourselves would future me do this? So if I'm about to be like, oh, I don't want to do that, like making all the excuses I think to myself of what I want to achieve, what I'm actually doing with my life. Is this future me, version of myself, my future life? And I say, would that version of me do the same thing here? Would I have the same habits, reaction, whatever? And if it's no, because someone who's doing these things doesn't have what I have in the future, then I can change and alter how I'm behaving, what I'm doing, what I'm not doing, all those different things, and it can become a really cool tool to help you stay accountable to who you want to be and what you want to achieve. If you find yourself making excuses, if you find yourself slacking off with your nervous system regulation or your health and eating healthy and working out and all those different things, whatever it may be, then you can ask yourself would future me be doing this? Would the future version of me that I want to be be doing this? No, then I have to fucking clean it up now, because I'm not going to get to future me and have that version of myself doing the same fucking shit that I'm doing now, because that's just going to keep me where I currently am.

Speaker 1:

And the third thing, other than visualizations, is rituals, which I find so funny. Saying the word rituals, for some people it might seem so like common and so normal, but for others, when they hear the word rituals, it sounds like a satanic, fucking weird thing, and I promise you it's not. Rituals are just something you do very consistently, so you can have like a fucking coffee ritual when you have your coffee and how you have it and what you do when you have your coffee. Sports athletes have rituals. You know what they do before the game and they do it the same every single time, like all those different things. So it's not as woohoo as it sounds. There are things that you can do that can be rituals that are like more once-off things, not something that you do every day, but something that you do every now and then maybe it's every six months or something like that and one that can be really, really cool and you can do it with, like your partner or a friend or something like.

Speaker 1:

That is like a kind of like a burning ceremony, and basically what you do is you can write down things that no longer serve you, that you want to let go of, that you don't want to bring into 2025. It's good to do it at the end of the year. I feel like it's a really good time to do it. You write it all down and then you kind of say to yourself like really close your eyes and say to yourself and you really have to fucking mean it, you can't be like I don't want it, like, uh, whatever, you really have to mean it. Write what you need to write down, close your eyes, take a big deep breath and say I let go of what no longer serves me. And then you burn that fucking bitch and then you get rid of it and you tell yourself that's it, it's done. Now. It's in the fucking fire. That is not coming to 2025 with me. I'm not bringing those things with me. And then for every moment after that, when you feel those things creeping back up or creeping back in, you're like no, no, no, that's, I'm not bringing that with me. Or if you do and you fuck up and you bring it with you, then he's like okay, I did that thing. That's interesting. I wonder why I did that. How can I learn from this and how can I do better next time without, without you know, being harsh on yourself, shaming yourself, judging yourself, all of those different things.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that you can do as a as a ritual is pull an Oracle card. It can make you know you feel like you're having a really good process of intention and it feels really, really powerful. So every single morning you can pull an Oracle card and see what that Oracle card is trying to tell you. You can journal on that oracle card. So whatever feels good for you, whatever feels like something that you can be consistent with and that is actually going to be beneficial to you, but just do something.

Speaker 1:

Now we're going to chat a little bit more about how beliefs are formed, because I think that's really important. I'm just going to touch on it really briefly because a lot of you may know, because I've talked about it a lot in previous episodes and all those different things but before we can rewrite our beliefs, it's important to understand where they come from. Most of our beliefs are shaped by three main factors. The first one is childhood experiences. The things that you saw, heard and experienced growing up laid the foundation for your beliefs about yourself and about the world. If you were told, you know you're not good enough, or you were made to feel like you were not good enough, or successes for other people. They have that because they grew up with rich parents. They have that because blah, blah, blah, whatever the thing was. These words likely become internalized as truth. They're no longer things that you were told, witnessed, heard, seen. They become things about who you are as a person, what you believe, how you act, how you react, what you think is possible for you. Your childhood has impacted and influenced you in huge and ginormous and gigantic ways. I'm trying to use the biggest words that I possibly can, because I just can't stress enough that if you are not looking into how your childhood has shaped the person that you are today, because you want to turn a blind eye to it, you are doing yourself a disservice to the adult that you currently are.

Speaker 1:

The second thing is societal influences. So this is things like media culture, societal norms that constantly send us messages about what's acceptable and what's normal and what we should be doing and what we should look like and how life should fucking pan out and the decisions we should be making and what makes someone successful and what doesn't, and all these fucking rules that have been written for us and these messages can shape our beliefs about beauty, what beauty standards are, what success looks like, relationships and parenting, everything. It can shape our beliefs and our views on absolutely everything, and sometimes those beliefs are not even our own and a lot of the time they impact living an authentic life, because we're living a life based on what we think we should be doing, not what we actually want to be doing. And the third thing is life experiences. Obviously, that is going to shape what you believe about yourself, and some people have had really tough life experiences and had to learn really, really fucking hard lessons and things that are completely out of their control. And this is this includes the wins and the losses that you've experienced as well, not just the hardship, but it includes all of it. It's shaped your beliefs.

Speaker 1:

A failure might convince you that you're not good at something. I remember that I've convinced myself I'm not good at maths because in high school I really struggled in maths and then in uni I've just done a whole unit on statistics and maths and numbers and all those different things and I got a higher distinction and I nearly quit that unit because I thought I'm not good at maths. I'm not good at maths, I'm not good at maths, I'm not going to be able to do this and that has shaped what I believed about myself and believed what I was capable of. And then, fuck that I took action anyway. But most people don't. Most people have decided something about themselves and then they make decisions based on that decision for the rest of their fucking life. And it is the biggest limitation. Some of these beliefs can come from when you're fucking four years old or five years old and you don't remember. It's come from then, but now it's dictating the decisions you make as an adult and it's limiting you in your life in such big ways.

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You might have had a failure when you were, like fucking in grade eight where you fucked up a presentation or a speech, and now you've convinced yourself. I'm not good at public speaking, I'm not good at writing, I'm not good at articulating my words because of something that happened so long ago. And then what our brain does is it tries to bring all the evidence from that moment that that belief is true. That's what our brain does. So you spent your whole life, from that moment until this moment, confirming and bringing in all of the evidence to confirm that is true, and that's what our brain does. So you spent your whole life from that moment until this moment, confirming and bringing in all of the evidence to confirm that is true. And that's what makes it so hard to create change, to change our brain, change our behaviors. But it is possible. And of course, that brings us to then rewriting your beliefs and the science behind it.

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And neuroplasticity and that's really where the magic happens. Your brain can change. Neuroplasticity is your brain's ability to literally rewire itself, fucking magic, like mind blowing, like mic drop, all of the fucking things, because it's truly amazing that we have the power to do that. But majority of people don't do it and don't utilize it. But not you, guys, because you were listening to this and you were here, because you actually give a fuck about all of this stuff, and it's the reason that you know. This thing, this neuroplasticity, this amazing, incredible thing, is the reason that this thing, this neuroplasticity, this amazing, incredible thing is the reason that we can create new beliefs and from those new beliefs we can change our life. When you think a thought repetitively, over and over again, your brain creates a neural pathway for it. The more you reinforce it, the stronger the pathway becomes. But the good news is, when you stop using those pathways, they actually weaken, and when you create new, empowering thoughts, you actually strengthen new ones. Your brain is literally the thing that's changing your life. But it's going to take time, and that's why we're going to talk about practical steps that are going to help you rewrite your own beliefs.

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The first thing that you can do is identify your current beliefs. That is the first thing. Like I've always said, we can't change anything if we do not know about it. So the first thing identify those current beliefs. You can ask yourself what do I believe about myself? Have you ever actually asked yourself that? Have you actually been confronted with a list of things that you believe about yourself? Because, trust me, it can be a little bit alarming to see it written on paper. We can be stuck with these beliefs in our head running every day, all day, these negative words and these negative beliefs about ourselves. You can't do this. Why did you say that? You're stupid, you don't look nice, you're too fat, blah, blah, blah, all the things, but when you write them down on paper and it's in front of you, you're like, well, shit, I am a bit of an asshole to myself. The next question is what do I believe about success, about relationships or my future. That's one big prompt and that will take you in so many different fucking incredible directions. What do I believe about success, relationships or my future? And the third thing that you can ask yourself is are these beliefs helping me or holding me back? And then you can take that a little bit deeper in how are they actually holding you back?

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The next thing that you're going to do is you're going to challenge these beliefs, questions, the ones that aren't serving you. Are they really true? What evidence do you have for or against them? And often you'll find they're based on fear, not fact. You're fearing what other people think of you, or you'll find that oh wait, I do have evidence that I'm not good at maths because, like in grade nine, I failed maths. And it's like if you're in your fucking 30s and you are still believing something because of something that happened in grade nine, we need to clean this up. Sometimes we will have evidence for our beliefs, but it's like they are ancient, they are so old, they are not relevant now, but we're living our lives based on them, and that is not how we want to live our lives. So that is a really important question.

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The third thing that you're going to do is you're going to replace them with more empowering beliefs. Decide what you want to believe instead. And most people think that's fucking lame, like oh yeah, I'm just gonna decide to believe something, but you decided to believe that you're enough. And whilst I can say I'm really hard to hear because you're like no, I didn't. My parents made me feel not enough. Dah, dah, dah dah. But blaming someone else and saying it's someone else's fault is not helping you. We decide to continue to believe that, we decide to continue to bring in evidence, we decide to not actually create change with that and that can sound confronting, but it's actually really empowering because it means we have the power to create new beliefs and they impact our lives in a positive way.

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If the belief that doesn't serve you is impacting every fucking decision you make and everything you do in your life, imagine the power of actually changing the belief and believing something new, which is a choice. So you could have an old belief that says I always fail, and our beliefs that are negative usually have something very strong like always, I always fail, I always fuck this up, even though there are many, many times in your life where you haven't failed, you will say that you failed one or two times. So now that you've always failed, the new belief that you can replace this with is every step that I take, every step that I decide to take, even when it's uncomfortable moves, moves me closer to success, even if it's imperfect. So it's not changing the beliefs from. I always fail to. I always succeed, because you're never going to fucking believe that that's actually not beneficial and that's kind of where it gets like that's lame and not helpful and that's not going to actually change your brain. But we can actually change it to be something that's realistic and something that actually benefits us and helps us like the one I just said.

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The fourth thing that you're going to do is you are going to reinforce the new beliefs. The first thing that you can do to reinforce a new belief is use affirmations. Tell yourself this fucking new belief every single day. Don't slack off on it, don't do it for a couple of days and then be like, oh, I forgot, or blah, blah, blah, I don't have time. No, we're going to tell ourselves a new belief every single day. Write it on your mirror with lipstick, write it on post-it notes. I don't care, put it on your fridge, put it on your cupboard Wherever, put it in your house, put it where you can see it, set it as a reminder on your phone so it dings off on your phone and literally bloody slaps you in the face with an alarm.

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The other thing that you're going to create change Believing something and then taking action according to this belief is what is going to create change, and the other thing that's going to help you reinforce this is surround yourself with people who reflect the mindset that you're creating. This is why I love creating group mindset spaces, like my current program that I'm running, which is called the Unapologetic Woman. We are over halfway through that round now. It goes for four months, but the power of just seeing these ladies who come together, who genuinely want to work on their mindset, who are in an environment where that is normalized and who can share their challenges and share their wins and ask their questions and share their reflections, and do that in a space where everyone else is doing that, it is incredibly powerful, and we're going to finish it off with some examples of empowering beliefs that can actually transform your life, and I want to see some of you write these on your fucking mirror. I want to see a picture and you're fucking tagging me and this is a lipstick in your mirror, or just put it somewhere and please again the whole.

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I guess underlying tone of this is that if you aren't willing to try something new because you think it's lame, you think it's not going to work, or dah, dah, dah, dah. It's like if you're not willing to try something new, how can you expect something new to happen in your life? We have to be open-minded, we have to be willing, we have to try, but we have to be consistent with it. So here are some ones that you can use. The first one is I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to. So what I like to do with these I'm going off on a rant now I just told you the first one.

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I like to wake up in the morning. I like to scooch myself out of bed, put my feet flat on the floor, put my hand on my chest, take some deep breaths in and some deep breaths out, and then I like to say this over and over and over again to myself I'm capable of achieving anything I set my mind to. Because that's the tone that I want to set for the day. I want to wake up, setting the tone for what I actually want to believe, not what maybe I currently believe. That's not fucking beneficial.

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The next one that you could use is I am worthy of love, success and happiness. The next one is every challenge is an opportunity for growth, and the final one you can use is I trust myself to make decisions that align with my values. And the final one you can use is I trust myself to make decisions that align with my values. And these beliefs aren't just positive statements. They're the foundation for a new way of living.

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So this episode was all about creating space for something better, letting go of what's no longer serving you and rewriting the beliefs that shape your life. This work is foundational, you guys. It's what sets the tone for everything you'll do moving forward. In the next episode of this series, we're going to talk about courage over comfort, why growth demands bold choices, how to embrace discomfort and how to build the courage you need to create meaningful change. I cannot wait to dive into it with you, and thank you so much for listening to the first episode of the Mindset Reset for your best year yet. Let's make 2025 the year we stop holding ourselves back and we actually start fucking living the life we want. I will see you guys in the next episode.