Piece Of Mind Podcast
Welcome to Piece of Mind, where we piece together the parts of your mind to help you live a life that’s authentic, unapologetic, and absolutely fulfilling.
I’m your host Ashley Badman, a mindset coach and psychology student, here to guide you through the world of subconscious re-programming, relationships, belief systems, and patterns.
This isn’t your typical mindset podcast. We’re diving deep into the core of who you are, tackling everything from self-sabotage and people-pleasing to attachment styles and beyond. We’ll uncover the deeper shit that makes you who you are, so you can grow, evolve, and build a life you’re obsessed with.
Expect a mix of evidence-based insights, energetic shifts, and a touch of chaos as we explore how to heal, optimize, and re-program your life.
This podcast is for those who refuse to settle, who are committed to living life fully and getting the best for themselves.
Get ready for straight talk, practical strategies, and a few surprises along the way. If you’re ready to stop hiding from yourself and start living unapologetically, you’re in the right place. Tune in and let’s get into it.
Piece Of Mind Podcast
Ep 19: Is it Time To Quit Your Job?
Reflecting on the key signs that indicate it's time to leave a job, this episode delves into mental health, career growth, and the effects of workplace culture.
The conversation encourages listeners to challenge societal expectations and trust their instincts, ultimately prioritising personal well-being over job stability.
• Identifying when job dissatisfaction signals a need for change
• Understanding the impact of burnout on mental health
• Recognising stagnation when there are no growth opportunities
• Misalignment with personal values as a warning sign
• Acknowledging the role of fear in career decisions
• Exploring the sunk cost fallacy in career transitions
• Emphasising the need for a plan before making any major changes
• Challenging societal norms around career paths and success
• Remembering the importance of setting boundaries during transitions
• Understanding that new beginnings do not erase past experiences
I also dive into my decision to leave behind my career in the police and what the experience was actually like.
ashleybadman_
builtfor.better
Welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast. Today we are having a conversation about the signs it is actually time to think about leaving your job. The reason that I really want to talk about this is actually for a few reasons. One I have left a job that I thought was my career, that I thought that was going to be the thing that I did for the rest of my life, and it turns out leaving that job was the best thing that I ever did. However, what came with that decision was a lot of fear. It wasn't an easy decision and now, when I look back at that, I realized how easy it would have been to stay in a job. That made me completely miserable.
Speaker 1:And I think, when we think about our workplace, we think about our career. We spend a lot of time there, we put a lot of energy into it, we put a lot of time into it and it is a big chunk of our life. And if we are spending so much time and energy in something that we absolutely dislike, or something that doesn't fill our cup, or something that makes our life miserable, unhappy, makes us miserable, unhappy, or it just doesn't fulfill us, it just doesn't make us happy, it doesn't really light us up, and that's not to say that your job has to light you up every single day. But I think we know there's a difference between like, can't bothered today, not having a very great day, to like actually this is not good for me and this is not good for my life and this is not what I envision myself doing for the foreseeable future or for the rest of my life. And I see so many people stay in jobs that they hate and then that mindset and their mental health it trickles into every other area of their life. If they're a parent, it trickles into how they parent. If they're in relationships, it trickles into their relationships. How they show up in their day-to-day, their mood, their emotions, their joy for life outside of work can be heavily impacted. So I think it is a really, really important conversation.
Speaker 1:It is super, super easy to ignore or convince yourself that it's normal to have the signs that you aren't happy in your job. We see so many people bond over hating their job, like it's almost Monday, I don't want to go back, or my shitty boss or my shitty colleague, and we can almost bond over and think that it's normal to feel that way when we're in a job, but the things that we're going to chat about today and the signs that we're going to chat about today if these are things that are showing up consistently, it is time to take a closer look. That are showing up consistently, it is time to take a closer look. So, first up, if you're feeling unmotivated, drained or just downright unhappy at work on a regular basis, that is a big red flag. Work shouldn't suck the life out of you every single day and, like I said, sure, everyone has bad days. But if it's been weeks, months or even years of feeling like this, it is really worth asking yourself why you're actually staying.
Speaker 1:Then there are the physical and emotional signs of burnout. Are you constantly exhausted, even after the weekend off? Do you feel like you say things like the weekend just isn't long enough? Or like how is it Sunday already? Or how is Monday rolling around already? Do you feel anxious when you think about work? Or maybe you're irritable and snapping at people in your personal life. Stress and fatigue are your body's way of telling you that something is actually off, and usually we like to ignore it. But sometimes it's really, really important that we don't ignore it and we actually listen to it, because when you ignore these signs for too long, they don't just go away, they get worse.
Speaker 1:Another sign is feeling very stagnant, like you're stuck in the same place with no room to grow. If you're not learning anything new, you're not really being challenged, or there's no clear path for advancement. That can actually leave you feeling quite frustrated and unfulfilled. Growth is a very important part, not just for your career, but for your happiness and sense of purpose. As humans, we are constantly seeking growth. We want to grow as a person, we want to grow in our life, we want to experience new things. It is a natural part of who we are, and when we don't have that growth and we feel like there is no possibility for that growth especially in our job, when we're spending a lot of our time doing that job and dedicating a lot of our life to it, it can leave us feeling really, really flat.
Speaker 1:And the other thing that we want to chat about is alignment. If your job no longer matches your values or goals or, even worse, it clashes with who you are and who you're becoming, that was me in the police. I was realizing very, very quickly that what I was doing in the police. What I was witnessing in the police, the whole environment, the whole culture. It did not align with my values as a person. And when you are unaligned with your values, oh my god, it shows. It shows so much. And it is important that we live life according to our own values. So it's important we check in with our values for one, but it's important that we understand that our values are very, very important and we should not ditch our fucking values for a job. And what's super important to know is like this might not happen all at once. Maybe you've grown as a person or your priorities have shifted and the job just doesn't fit anymore. That is actually okay, but it is something to pay attention to. It is okay to outgrow a job. It is okay to no longer feel aligned to a job. It's okay for you to grow and your values to shift and change and what once felt aligned no longer feels aligned.
Speaker 1:Another huge clue if you're constantly dreading work, if every single Sunday night fills you with a sense of dread or you feel like you're dragging yourself through each day, that is not normal work. Stress, that is your body and mind screaming for change. I honestly remember the most sick feeling in my stomach. The day before that I had to go back to work. When I was in the police, I remember and at the time I couldn't name it as like an anxious feeling but I remember having that anxious feeling in my tummy and feeling like, oh my God, I've got to do this again. Even waking up in the morning, I wasn't excited to wake up when my alarm would go off. I'd kind of like roll my eyes and I wasn't excited. I wasn't lit up, but I didn't see that as a sign that it wasn't the job for me because I was trying to convince myself no, this is your career, mate. This is where you're staying. This is your life. Now you have to make it work.
Speaker 1:The other thing is the environment itself. If the workplace culture is toxic or if you're dealing with strained relationships with co-workers or management, it can make every day feel like a battle. Nobody thrives in an environment that's full of negativity, gossip or power struggles. It's exhausting and it can take a massive toll on your mental health. And again, it's recognizing that you do not have to put up with it. You do not have to put yourself through that.
Speaker 1:I haven't spoken a lot about my time in the police in the sense of like the culture and what I experienced, because I feel like it would be a whole conversation on its own and I probably should have that conversation at some point. But there was a lot of negativity. There was a lot of gossip. It honestly felt like I had gone back to high school, which is crazy when you think about the type of job that it is and the type of people that you want protecting the community. To see that there's so much gossip and the power struggles. I feel like that's going to be no surprise to anyone when we think of the police and we think of power struggles, but I've tried to convince myself that that's something I had to adapt to and get used to. You know, having sergeants and all of the things which, to a degree, yes, we are going to have bosses and we're going to have management, all those different things but there is a difference between having like bosses and management and having actual power struggles where people are almost drunk on power and actually just treating you like shit because of it.
Speaker 1:And finally ask yourself this Do you daydream about other jobs, starting a business or doing literally anything else, if you're spending your free time literally fantasizing about a different career. That's a pretty strong indicator that something's missing in your current role. Your dreams are trying to tell you something, and you should absolutely not ignore them. If you are noticing these signs in your life, I want you to take a moment to actually reflect on them. None of these on their own might scream you need to quit your job, but when they start stacking up, they are actually worth paying attention to. Your job takes up such a huge chunk of your time and your energy, and you deserve to feel good about where you're putting it.
Speaker 1:The next thing we're going to talk about and I'm going to kind of split this up into sections, so I've written the things that I think are most important for us to talk about today is in like little headings that I want to actually note for myself, to what to talk about. The first thing was what we just covered, which were signs. It's time to think about leaving. The next thing that we're going to talk about is outgrowing a job and it being actually normal for that to occur. So I really do want to normalize that right now. Outgrowing a job is completely normal Somewhere along the line.
Speaker 1:Society made us believe that once we find a job we enjoy, we're supposed to stay in it forever, till we retire, get that good soup, all the things. But life doesn't work like that. We grow, we evolve, and sometimes that means a job that once felt exciting or aligned just does not fit anymore. It's okay to realize that a job you once loved no longer feels right for you. Maybe it served you in a certain season of your life, maybe it was exactly what you needed when you started. But as you've grown, your needs, your values and your priorities have now shifted. And that doesn't make the job bad and it doesn't make you an ungrateful person or someone that's hard to please. It just means you've evolved, and that's actually a good thing. You're meant to grow and evolve as a person.
Speaker 1:We need to not shame ourselves for this. We need to not blame ourselves or make ourselves wrong for outgrowing things in our life and desiring change and wanting change. We need to stop telling ourselves that this makes us a failure, because it absolutely doesn't. It means that you are open. It means you are open to new possibilities and new experiences and trying something new, and that is a fucking epic trait to have as a person.
Speaker 1:Growth means change. What works for you in one chapter of your life isn't guaranteed to serve you in the next. Think about it like this we don't expect to wear the same clothes forever and keep the same hairstyle for decades, unless you're a man and they genuinely try to keep the same hairstyle for, like, their whole entire lives. But for women, we mostly chop and change our hair different styles, different lengths, all the things but we expect our jobs to stay the same. Just because something worked in the past doesn't mean it's going to work now. That the same. Just because something worked in the past doesn't mean it's going to work now. That is not a failure. That is life. If there is one thing that you can take away from this, you are not failing because you don't want to stay in your job. You are not failing because you've outgrown your job. That is not a failure. That is growth. Let's replace those two words. Let's swap them around.
Speaker 1:Outgrowing a job doesn't mean you failed at all, like literally not at all. In fact, it's actually the opposite. It's a sign that you have grown beyond it. You've gained the skills, the experience and the insight you needed, and now you're ready for something else, something that challenges you or aligns more closely with the person that you have become. Staying in a job because it feels comfortable or familiar can hold you back from that next level of growth. You deserve to step into what's next for you. So if you're sitting there wondering why you no longer feel the same spark for your job, remind yourself it's okay, it's a part of the process, and outgrowing something isn't a failure, it's progress. And we have to remind ourselves as well. When we go into a job, we are a different person. Right. When we start that job, we are a different person. Along the way we're going to meet new people. We're going to have new hobbies. Way we're going to meet new people, we're going to have new hobbies. We're going to experience new things in our life and as we do that, our interests change. We may find that we grow interest in other areas.
Speaker 1:For me in the police, I thought that was my dream fucking job. I thought that was my career. I thought that was it. I was set like this is the fucking thing that I'm going to do until I'm like 70 years old. And along that way, as I got into the police, I was also introduced to a lot more focus on my health, my nutrition, my fitness, all those different things and I found such a passion for it, a passion that I didn't have before. I also found such a gap in that women often go on these cycles of binge eating and thinking they need to eat certain ways and all that jazz, which I'm not going to go into. But then my passion was sparked for that and I ended up becoming a nutrition coach and I ended up having the most successful, successful business with that. But when I was joining the police, I didn't have that passion for nutrition. I didn't have that passion for fitness. So how could I have known that that's where I was going to end up?
Speaker 1:Sometimes we have to surrender and trust our timeline. Sometimes we have to know that this job that we're in it got us to where we are because we were meant to find something else and we need to be willing to explore that something else. We need to be willing to be okay that our passion has changed or our interest has changed, and it's actually exciting, you guys. It's actually exciting. It's not a bad thing. The third thing that we're going to talk about is mental health over job stability. Now, this is a tough one, but it needs to be said, because I'm super fucking passionate about it.
Speaker 1:No job literally no job on the fucking planet is worth sacrificing your mental health None. Not the paycheck, not the fancy title, not the fucking LinkedIn flex to show what jobs you've had and how good they are, not the family being proud of you None of it. If your job is leaving you burnout, anxious or downright miserable, that stress doesn't just stay at work. It follows you home, it seeps into your relationships and messes with your physical health and it impacts how you show up for yourself and the people that you care about. You. Being miserable at work it's not just impacting you, it is impacting everybody around you, because your energy shifts, how you show up shifts. We live in a world that glorifies hustle culture, where burnout is almost worn as a badge of honor. But let's be super, super clear here Pushing yourself to the brink is not admirable. It's actually harmful.
Speaker 1:Prioritizing your well-being is not selfish, it's necessary. It's survival. You cannot pour from an empty cup and you shouldn't have to drain yourself just to keep a job. No role, no matter how prestigious or well-paid, is worth your peace of mind. So ask yourself this what's the job really costing you? Is it robbing you of joy, sleep or peace of mind? Is it making you dread Mondays and hate Sundays? And if the answer is yes, it is time to reconsider your priorities.
Speaker 1:Work is supposed to be a part of your life, not the thing that consumes it. Your mental health is a foundation of everything else in your life and without it, nothing else works Not your relationships, not your goals, not your overall happiness. And if you were in a miserable job, you've been in a miserable job, and the job doesn't have to be miserable. If you've just been in a job that makes you fucking unhappy because you've outgrown it and you don't like it anymore, you know when you are listening to this that other areas of your life have been impacted. Maybe your health. Maybe you don't prioritize looking after yourself. Maybe your relationship you haven't had sex in 755 business days because you're so miserable in your job. It is impacting other things. So if you're sacrificing that for a paycheck or a title, it is time to have a little rethink. Remember, you are not your job and your worth isn't tied to what you do from nine to five. Prioritize yourself because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to live with the consequences, not your employer. Let this episode let this my voice in your ears hopefully be a reminder that it is okay to choose yourself. It's okay to prioritize peace, even if it means walking away from something that looks really good on paper. Your mental health is invaluable and you deserve a life that honors it.
Speaker 1:I remember bawling my eyes out when I knew I wanted to leave the police. I remember being so upset by the decision. I literally can remember the moment of sitting on the edge of my bed prying my eyes out, wondering if I was making the worst mistake in the world, because how I was looking at it was this looks good on paper. You know, I was a teen mum. I had my kids when I was 18 and 19 years old. Most people in my life thought that that meant my life was over, that I was never going to make something of myself. For me to be in the police it was my way of showing other people which I thought was myself at the time. But really, now I look at it, I'm like no, it was to show other people that, even though I was a team mum, I'm still going to have this good job. I'm still going to have this good job on paper, where it seems like I'm doing something noble, where it seems like I'm getting good pay, where it seems like I'm getting good super and're like, oh, your life's sorted, your life's good, your life's all together because you have this really good, stable career. That's what I was looking at on paper. But then when I tuned in with myself, I was like but you're unhappy, you don't like this, You're not spending time with your family, you don't even feel like this is a noble job. You've seen things about this job that have made you quite fucking upset and quite angry and quite irritated, and it goes against your values so much. Just because something looks good on paper to other people and even maybe to yourself, does not mean it is the right thing for you.
Speaker 1:The next thing we're going to chat about is addressing the fears around leaving a job Because, like I just said, I remember sitting on my bed bawling my fucking eyes out. I was terrified. I had all of the inner critic voices coming up telling me that this might be the worst thing you ever do for yourself. What if your life is fucked up to this point? You have a family you have to provide, you have kids, you have all the things. I had all the fears, and it's easy to look back at that decision now and look at the life that I've created now and be like, oh, but it makes sense that you left. Like, your life is so much better now. Spend more time with your kids. You're living according to your passion, your purpose, you have freedom. You're doing all the things. I did not have that guarantee to me when I was quitting the police. No one said to me your life is going to get better.
Speaker 1:The the outcome of this was completely unknown, and surrendering to the unknown is the scariest thing that you can do, but also the most magical, because when you can surrender to the process of like I actually don't know what's going to happen and like a little bit of a spoiler alert here you are never going to actually know. So even if I had stayed in the police right, I don't. I don't know the stability of that job. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't know if it's going to help me or my family. I don't know any of those things. We think that we know what's going to happen and we think that we can find safety in that. We know the outcome but we never actually do and we often end up staying in things that we think we're predicting the outcome for, but again, we don't actually know that that's the case.
Speaker 1:So we are going to touch on the fears around, maybe choosing like, oh fuck, I actually don't want to be in this job anymore. They're actually usually huge, right, the fears that come up around this topic, and they're probably the main reason that people stay in jobs that no longer serve them. I would say it is the main reason. Fear is usually the main reason that we keep ourselves unhappy because we wouldn't intentionally choose to be like I hate my job, so I'm just going to keep doing it until I'm 60. There is usually fears present that keep us doing the thing that we know we actually don't want to be doing and just really let that land for a second.
Speaker 1:If you're in a job that you don't love, do you really want to be doing that until you're 60? Do you really want this to be your whole life? If that's one question that you ask yourself and you actually sit with, I think that might be very, very helpful for you. If you are someone who is already considering like I don't know if this is a job for me. I want to explore different things. And again, it doesn't mean that your job you're in is shit, doesn't that the people are shit. It doesn't mean that the culture is shit. Just because that was my experience, that doesn't have to be your experience. Sometimes we just know that we want to try something new. Sometimes we just know that there is more out there for us and not even more. Maybe it's just something different out there for us. So ask yourself that question.
Speaker 1:Back to fears. The fears that you have are valid. I'm going to validate them right now for you, because I had them. I know what it feels like. I know that they're very real, but they do not have to control your decisions.
Speaker 1:One of the biggest fears is usually financial instability. How will I pay the bills? What if I don't find something else quickly enough? These are real concerns and they actually do deserve to be taken seriously. The key here is creating a plan. You do not need to go quit tomorrow with no backup. Don't be like I listened to this podcast and she told me to just quit my job if I'm miserable. So now here I am and then you end up financially fucked. Please don't do that. Start saving a cushion, whether it's a few weeks, a few months or whatever makes you feel secure. Do that, put money aside, start to have the idea now of like am I going to stay in this job? Do I need to explore my options? Do I want to be here, and what is one way that I can provide safety for myself amongst all of this fear? Have a savings cushion. Look at other options before you leave. Maybe you can look at part-time work, you can look at freelancing or you can even look at temporary jobs that can bridge the gap.
Speaker 1:The next job after you leave your career or your job doesn't have to be the job. It doesn't have to be the thing that you now are like well, now I have to do this for the rest of my life. No, you can explore things. You can play around with things. You can have jobs that are merely just a bridge to something else. For you to figure it out, to give you time, to give you breathing room. If you have a partner that can support you financially for a smaller period of time, perfect. Have that. Chat to everyone. And I also know now in the world that we live in and how much rent is and how much mortgages are and how much groceries are and all the different things. Most families do need two working parents and if you don't need that fucking perfect love that for you slay. If you do need that, it doesn't mean that you have to stay in a miserable job. So having a financial plan in place can help ease this fear and give you more confidence to take that leap. We can't remove fears right. They're always going to be there and we're always going to have a reason why not to do the thing that we actually want to do. But we can lessen the fear and we can ease it to help us take that leap, make that decision and do the thing that's kind of scaring us the most.
Speaker 1:Another common fear is feeling uncertain about what's next. If you don't have a clear plan for your next step, it can feel overwhelming, but you don't need to have everything figured out before you leave. You just need to trust that you are capable of figuring it out as you go. Think about all the times in your life when you didn't know what was next, which is basically always, because even when we think we do know what's next, the universe or the world or whatever you believe in can have different plans for you, and that's okay, because we always figure it out. So you still landed on your feet right and that's proof that you can actually handle uncertainty. Life is uncertain and you're still here and you're doing your thing and you're showing up. You are resourceful, you are a smart person, you are going to be okay and you are going to figure it out, and sometimes the figuring it out isn't always the prettiest answer, right?
Speaker 1:So for me, for example, when I left the police, I moved back home with my parents and I was like 28, no 27. I actually don't know how old I was, so let's say I have actually no idea. But I know I had two kids, I know I had three dogs and I know I had a partner who I was kind of like in a new relationship with. I think we'd been together for's been six years. He is a blessing um.
Speaker 1:But we moved back home and my parents lived in a three-bedroom villa that had no backyard and no front yard. We had three dogs. They had a dog. I had two kids. My kids went and shared a room. Dave and I had a room that was so, so tiny. I started a business from their dining room table. That ended up being super successful and we made it work and I would have much rather do that and we lived with them for a year and it ended up being such a fucking cool like. Obviously there was like some moments of like tension and living in such small spaces and blah, blah, blah, all the things, but when I look back I'm like that was actually such a cool experience. My kid, my kids, have such fond memories of that year and of that time and my relationship with my parents, like my stepdad and my mum.
Speaker 1:Now that really did help us. It actually helped us a lot, which is kind of surprising and not what most people would think, but it wasn't the most you know fanciest, flashiest way to leave a job and leave a career. I left a career in the police, which is like, oh my God, it's so amazing to live back in a villa with my parents and try and start an online nutrition coaching business. Most people would be like that's fucking crazy. Why would you do that? And it doesn't always have to make sense. But I trusted in myself. I trusted that I could make this work. So if you don't trust yourself, maybe it's something you can work on to build that self-trust, because you will make it work and whilst it might not be that first initial step might not be pretty, in the long run you are going to be so much happier.
Speaker 1:I am so grateful that I had that year at home and that was available to me and I know it's not available to everyone, so I'm super grateful for it. But I am so happy that I did that because now I am living my dream. I am living near the ocean, which I love. I am living in this beautiful three bedroom amazing house that I love. But I wouldn't have been able to get here and do my business and sit on this fucking podcast and do all the things that I never envisioned. There's no way, when I left the police, if I had thought I'm gonna run a podcast, I'm gonna interview really cool people, I'm gonna live in Queensland and I'm gonna fucking love it. It's gonna be amazing. I'm gonna run my business. It's gonna be super successful. No, I didn't know all of those, but I trusted that I would make it work. So have that trust that you might not know straight away and you might not land on your feet straight away, but you're going to figure it out. And then there's fear of judgment, which was a very fucking big one for me, and this one can hit hard, especially when it comes to family, co-workers or even your boss.
Speaker 1:I remember the first time I kind of like I had this inkling that I either wanted to do like some sort of nutrition coaching or personal training and I was in the police car, because you sit in like this fucking police car for like eight hours with this one person you're on shift with. And I actually like this dude, like he was a pretty cool dude and we were on shift together and we chatted quite a bit and we got on like quite well and I remember I'm like I'm gonna kind of tell him like what I'm thinking about wanting to be a, you know, maybe a PT or a nutrition coach, and I don't even know how I brought the conversation up, but I remember saying to him like something about leaving, something about being interested in like health, and blah, blah, blah, and he just looked at me. He's like oh my god, whatever you do, don't quit the police to become like a PT or something. That's fucking crazy and stupid. I think it's hilarious when people do that. Um, okay, my little heart was like crushed. I was like like, yeah, totally, like I would never do that. Meanwhile, that was quite literally my plan. But people won't always get it and I'm sure he definitely didn't mean he is a nice guy and he definitely didn't mean it to like crush my dreams and I still did the thing anyway.
Speaker 1:Thank God I didn't let, like, people's opinions dictate what I actually decided to do. But I remember, I remember it being like okay, this is a little bit crazy. And people are going to think I'm crazy. And what if I fail, right, what if I quit the police? And what I want to do next? Completely fucking flops and I end up poor, with no business, no job and no career and everyone's going to judge me. They're going to think I'm like shit. They're going to think I'm stupid. Like, of course, I had all of those fears. Maybe you're worried they'll see you as irresponsible or that they won't understand why you're leaving. But other people's opinions do not pay your bills and they do not live your life. You're the one who has to wake up every single day and do the job, not them. It's okay if people don't get it. Their judgment actually doesn't define you. It shouldn't define you. If you are letting other people's judgment define what you do with your life, you are.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about self-doubt, because that little voice in your head might be the loudest of them all. What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not good enough to do something else? What if I fail? What if this doesn't work? What if I'm making a mistake? What if this is a bad decision? All the little voices that are right there inside of your own head. And let me tell you something you are far more capable than you give yourself credit for. Think about all of the skills, experience and knowledge that you have gained over the years. Those little things, those things. They don't disappear when you leave a job. They actually come with you. Starting something new is scary, but it's also very exciting. It is a chance to rediscover what you're capable of and to prove to yourself that you can handle the unknown.
Speaker 1:Fears around leaving a job are completely normal, but they are not facts. They're just stories that your brain is telling you to keep you in your comfort zone. And while your comfort zone feels safe, nothing grows there, including you. The key is acknowledging the fear. Definitely acknowledge it. It's there, it's present, I feel it, I get it, I hear it, but don't let it stop you. You've faced uncertainty before and you're going to face it again in your life, and each time you've come out stronger on the other side, trust yourself, make a plan and know that you're not stuck and that you're more resilient than you think.
Speaker 1:The next thing we're going to chat about, which is something that I really love chatting about and this is also going to be relevant to relationships Obviously, we're not talking about relationships today, but actually it's relevant in a lot of things which is the sunk cost fallacy. I don't know why I said it like that. That was weird. The sunk cost fallacy is what I meant to say. I've spoken about this before because I think it's so interesting and I'm like we all live this out so much in our everyday lives. So this is a thing that keeps us very stuck in jobs that we hate.
Speaker 1:If you've never heard of it, the sunk cost fallacy is this idea that, because you've already invested so much time, energy or effort into something, you feel like you can't walk away, even if it's no longer serving you. It's like sitting through a movie that you absolutely hate or a book, reading a book that you absolutely hate. But just because you've already paid for a ticket or started reading the book, you have to then finish the movie, finish the book. It's like ordering a shit coffee. Taking the first sip and being like this is so disgusting. It literally is the worst thing that I've ever tasted. Oh, but I paid six bucks for it, so now I'm going to drink the rest of it. It's like we feel like we're losing something.
Speaker 1:Here's how it shows up with your work, you think that, well, I've been in this role for five years, I can't just throw that away. Or I've worked so hard to get this degree and this job and the job that's related to the degree, I can't leave now. But holding onto something just because you've already invested in it doesn't mean it's the right thing for you. Now you might be staying out of obligation or fear rather than actually genuine desire, and that is a recipe for long-term unhappiness. The thing about sunk costs is that they're in the past. You actually can't get that time or energy back, no matter how long you stay. What you can do is make a decision that feels aligned with where you are right now.
Speaker 1:Staying in a job just because you've put so much effort into. It is like trying to revive a dead plant you keep pouring water on it, but it is not coming back to life. At some point, you have to ask yourself is this worth my future? And let me be super clear time spent isn't wasted just because you're moving on. Every job that you've had has taught you something. You've gained skills, experiences and lessons that you're going to carry with you into whatever's next Literally whatever. It's all transferable. Maybe you learned what kind of work that you enjoy or, just as valuable, what you don't enjoy. Maybe you developed resilience, communication skills or clarity about your values. All of that stays with you, no matter what you choose to do next.
Speaker 1:So if you're sitting here thinking, but I've already invested so much into this job, I want you to flip the script. Instead of focusing on what you've already given, ask yourself what will I gain by staying and what could I gain by leaving? Those are the questions that will help you move forward instead of staying stuck in the past. The truth is, the time and effort you've put in are never, ever wasted. They were a part of your journey, that was your timeline. You needed that, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay. So let go of the guilt and actually give yourself permission to choose a path that feels right for who you are today, not who you were five or ten years ago or even twelve months ago. We're going to move on now to embracing the unknown and starting over, which to some that sounds super scary and to others that sounds super exciting. And I'll be super honest with you.
Speaker 1:Stepping to the unknown and starting over can feel quite terrifying. The fear of change can feel almost paralyzing for most people, and so much so that they don't ever do anything and they just stay the same and stay in the same situations for all of time. It's that voice in your head saying what if it doesn't work out? Or what if I've made the wrong decision. But the thing is, fear and growth go hand in hand. You actually can't have one without the other. Think about the biggest changes you've ever made in your life. They were probably uncomfortable at first, right, but they also likely led to some of your greatest growths. That's the thing about starting over. It is actually not a setback, it's an opportunity. It's a chance to realign your life, rediscover what excites you and create something that actually feels good. Staying where you are might feel safer, but safety does not equal fulfillment. Growth comes from the moments when you choose to step outside your comfort zone and say let's actually just see what's possible, let's fuck around and find out, and I get it. Embracing the unknown doesn't mean you just fucking quit your job tomorrow with no plan. So we're going to chat a little bit about some practical steps to make that transition further.
Speaker 1:So first start with reflection. What is it about your current job that isn't actually working for you? What would you like to do differently? Clarity is really key before taking action, and I will preface here that you don't have to be fully clear. If you can't answer those questions, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't leave your job. That's just one part of this big piece of the puzzle. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't leave your job, and sometimes you won't have clarity. Sometimes it's just an inner knowing doesn't mean that you shouldn't leave your job and sometimes you won't have clarity. Sometimes it's just an inner knowing. Sometimes just deep down, you know that this isn't where I'm meant to be and I'm meant for something different. The next thing you can do is do your research so you can start to look around at other industries or roles or opportunities that actually align with where you want to go. You can start to talk to people in those fields, you can take an online course or you can dip your toe into something new as a bit of a side hustle.
Speaker 1:Starting over doesn't mean diving headfirst into the deep end. It can start with really small and intentional steps, and that's perfect as well. Financial preparation is another big one. We kind of covered that a little bit before, but I think it is just important to reiterate that you do want to save up a cushion to give yourself breathing room during the transition. Knowing you've got financial safety like a financial safety can really help ease the fear of the unknown. And if leaving your current job outright just isn't an option yet, consider part-time work whilst you maybe study something on the side, whilst you maybe have a side hustle, whilst you explore other things, and then you get to kind of have that transition that feels a little bit safer for you. And another big one is give yourself permission to actually not have all the answers right away. You don't need to see the entire staircase before you take that first step. Trust that you'll figure it out as you go, because you have done it before. That is life, remember. I'm gonna keep saying that like that is fucking life, guys.
Speaker 1:We're always diving into the unknown because we actually can't predict the future. We don't even know what's going to happen tomorrow. But we kind of want to, we, I want to know certain what's going to happen in my future. I want to set myself up to have this certainty so I don't have to face unknown we can't. Every time you face uncertainty. In the past, you found a way through it and this time will be no different. Remember, starting over doesn't erase what you've already done. It builds on it. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience, and that is powerful.
Speaker 1:Embrace the fact that you're creating something new, something that aligns with who you are now, not who you were then. Change is, of course, scary, yes, of course, but what's even scarier is staying stuck in a life that doesn't feel like yours. You are more capable than you think. And the unknown, it is not the end, it is a beginning, it is a new beginning, like when I see people going through these moments of like should I quit my job? And I'm unhappy, but what will I do? And there's a lot of fear and it's like you're going to have the fear. We can't just replace the fear, but what if we just dip into the fact that, like this is actually extremely exciting? This is an extremely exciting chapter in your life. You're going to experience new things, meet new people. Who knows what doors this may open for you and when we can start to shift our perspective a little bit from like. There is fear there, but there's also excitement. It does make the decision a whole lot easier.
Speaker 1:The next thing which I love this topic. Why am I singing on my podcast? That's weird, but challenging societal expectations. So I really do want to take a minute to challenge the outdated expectations society has around work and success because, honestly, it's holding so many fucking people back somewhere Somewhere along the way. We are sold this idea that success means sticking to one career for your entire life, that your worth is tied to the length of time you've been in a role or with a company, and that changing paths somehow makes you unreliable or indecisive, and it is total bullshit. The reality is, career paths today are quite fluid. People pivot all the time and it's becoming the new norm, not the exception. You're allowed to change your mind and try something new or completely reinvent yourself at any stage of your life. You're never too old. It's never too late.
Speaker 1:Success isn't about how long you've been doing the same thing. It's about building a life that feels meaningful and aligned with who you are, and sometimes that means pivoting when something no longer feels right. So let's chat about this idea of stability, because staying in a job that no longer serves you can feel like the safe or stable choice. That was me in the police. Stability was like the key core word when I was wanting to leave the police. But the police office stability I know what I'm going to get paid. I know I have super, I know that I have a job, that I'm going to be able to go to all of the things. Stability was the word, but the truth is staying in a job that drains you or feels misaligned, it's not really stability, it's stagnation. Stability isn't about staying still. It's about creating a foundation where you can grow and thrive.
Speaker 1:If your current job is preventing you from doing that, then that's not stability. It's going to feel more like a trap and, as I said earlier, you're actually not supposed to say the same person forever. If you were the same person as you were five years ago. We have a problem and we need to do some work on our mindset. We want to grow and we want to evolve as a person. You're allowed to evolve. You want to evolve and your career can evolve with you, and let's really normalize that.
Speaker 1:Walking away from a job doesn't mean you're throwing away everything you've built. It means you're taking the lessons, the skills and the experience and choosing to use them in a way that aligns with the person you are now. It's fucking courageous, it's bravery. So if you're holding yourself back because you're afraid of what people will think or because you feel like you need to follow some made-up timeline of success, this is your permission slip to let go of that. You don't owe anyone a lifelong commitment to one job, one company or one career path. What you owe is to yourself to create a life that feels good and honors the person that you're growing into. And success is not a one size fits all anyway. It's not about checking off boxes or sticking to a script. It's about building a life that feels true to you, and sometimes that means rewriting the script altogether.
Speaker 1:So challenge the expectations, ignore the noise and remind yourself that your path is yours to define, which brings us to permission to try something completely different. When I wrote this down, I was like, oh, this just feels so good to write because it's just like, I just feel the excitement in it. Sometimes we think of, like, well, what's the most logical thing? If I'm quitting this job, I must do something similar. And you can, of course, and you can take those skills and you may love what you do. Maybe you just don't love the environment and that's so fine. But for those people that are like you know what I'm just really feeling like I want to try something completely fucking different. Here is a reminder as we wrap up that I think more of us need to hear you are not defined by that one job or that one career choice or that one thing that you studied one time that you actually fucking hate. Now you are not your job title and you're not limited to the box that you or society has put you in. You're allowed to explore and experiment and completely pivot, no matter how unrelated it might seem to what you're doing. Like me police to nutrition coach fucking wild, it's not even like they don't even match up at all, but I did it anyway and it was the fucking best decision I've ever made.
Speaker 1:Maybe you've been in the same industry for years and the thought of trying something new feels maybe overwhelming, maybe a little bit ridiculous. But let me ask you this what is stopping you? Is it that fear of judgment? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of starting over? Because if that's the case, let me remind you that everyone who's ever done something great or fulfilling started exactly where you are Unsure, scared and wondering if they're making the right move. And when I say people, I mean I am people. I started off like that. I was fucking terrified. I was so unsure I didn't even know nutrition coaching was a fucking job. I didn't even know that other people did it. I thought I was inventing this fucking thing, which, like I wasn't and I love that for me that I like had such a big ego that I'm like I'm inventing an industry. And then I like got into it more and I was like, wow, there's so many of these, but I literally had no fucking clue.
Speaker 1:It takes courage to explore something new, especially when it's unrelated to your current role. But courage doesn't mean not feeling scared. It means feeling scared and doing it anyway. You're allowed to take risks, to try something different and to step into the unknown. And sure, it might not work out exactly as you imagined, but it might also lead to opportunities and fulfillment that you never even considered. When I became a nutrition coach, do you know what? I didn't think I would become A fucking mindset coach. I didn't think that I'd be doing a psychology degree. That wasn't even on my radar. That isn't even something that I thought I would do or I was interested in. But if I didn't leave the police and I didn't start nutrition coaching, I would have never found my love for human behavior and psychology and mindset.
Speaker 1:We have to trust that each thing that we are doing is leading us to exactly where we need to be, even if we don't know what that is at the moment and you probably know someone who has completely shifted gears. Maybe they left a corporate job to start a creative business, or they swapped industries entirely and found their purpose in something totally unexpected. Those stories always seem wild from the outside, but if you ask those people, they'll tell you that the risk was worth it. Even if the path was messy, it was theirs. And I'll tell you the path to getting to where I am now. It definitely wasn't this like straight line of just like everything's making sense and everything feels good? I had moments where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing and did I make a mistake? I definitely had moments like that. I definitely had moments where I was scared and I didn't know what I was doing and I was figuring it out as I was going. Of course, I did. Don't regret it. I have so much valuable lessons from that journey that I am so grateful for.
Speaker 1:The truth is, fulfillment often comes from taking risks. When you step outside of your comfort zone and you give yourself permission to do something different, you open yourself up to the possibilities that wouldn't exist if you stayed where you are. I've met so many people, so many incredible, amazing human beings I've made lifelong like friendships, like deep, soul aligned friendships because of my business, because of meeting people that I would have never, ever, ever, ever met if I had stayed in the police, and those friendships are friendships that I will take with me for the rest of my life. They are people that I value so much. They are people that I talk to every fucking day, that I've met because of this business, that I love so much, that I tell so many things to and that I feel completely authentic and open in those friendships that I never would have found if I didn't actually make the move through the fear and quit the police and do something different. So even that like, sometimes we think that the outcome is, you know, we want to have success and we want to have a career and all the different things, and that's beautiful and great, but we miss the fact that we're going to have so many other opportunities that we can't even think of right now that are going to be incredible and life-changing. Those friendships are changing my life. They are showing me what's possible for me. They are showing me that I am safe to be my authentic self. They are pushing me because they know that I'm capable of achieving so much more, even when I doubt myself. Those friendships are what I value so much from this journey.
Speaker 1:So along the way you may find things that come to you, that gravitate towards you, that weren't a part of the plan in quotation marks but have been the most life changing part of that experience. So if you are sitting here with this little voice inside you telling you try something new, please listen to it. That voice doesn't show up for no reason, and you're allowed to try. You're allowed to take risks and you're allowed to build a life that feels completely different from the one that you have right now. I love the saying that you're only one decision away from changing your whole fucking life, because it is so true, and then it's accumulation of lots of decisions after that, but there is no rule book. This is your permission slip to explore what's possible. And, lastly, let's quickly touch on setting boundaries and not burning bridges, because that's very important when we talk about this Again, I don't want you to listen to this podcast and be like fuck my job, fuck my career, I'm leaving, like I'm out, and then like, burn so many bridges in the process.
Speaker 1:It is tempting to want to walk out in a blaze of glory, but that is rarely the best move. You never know when you might cross paths with former co-workers or employees again, so it's really worth leaving on good terms. Be professional during your notice period, finish your projects and express gratitude for the opportunities you've had. Even if the experience wasn't perfect, people will remember how you left, and keeping those bridges intact might even open up more doors for you in the future. And, of course, give yourself grace during the transition.
Speaker 1:This is going to feel messy at times. There might be moments of doubt and second guessing, or even fear about whether you've made the right decision, and that's completely normal. Change is uncomfortable, but it's also where the magic happens. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel a little lost when you're figuring it out. You don't need to have everything mapped out perfectly, you just need to trust that you're moving in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Transitions take time and it's rarely ever linear. Be patient with yourself and don't let the fear of imperfection hold you back. Remember you're not just leaving a job. You're making space for something better, something that aligns with who you are now and that is so worth the effort, the planning and even the discomfort of the unknown. So if this resonated with you, you're sitting here being like fuck, is this bitch talking to me? Me trying to set the intention of not swearing too much in the podcast, moving forward, and then me, by the end of the podcast, saying fuck, like 700 times. So, guys, but it is what it is and I am who I am and here we are. But if this did resonate with you, I want you to just take a big, deep breath. I want you to trust yourself and I want you to start to actually make a plan, or start to sit with this inkling or this voice that's coming up for you, that says maybe there's something else for me.
Speaker 1:I really hope you enjoyed this. I know for me this was a huge moment in my life. This was a defining moment in my life choosing to leave the police behind. I know that I was really really terrified and I know that I was really really terrified and I know that the unknown can be really really scary, but sometimes we just have to surrender and we have to embrace the magic of the unknown.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we need to not have control and not have all the answers and not know how it's going to play out, and just trust that we're going to be okay and trust that we are going exactly where we're meant to be going and that it's all going to be okay and you're going to be okay and maybe you'll be more than okay, because I feel more than fucking okay with the decision that I made and where I am now. I hope that you get a lot out of this. If you enjoyed the podcast, please can you just leave a rating for me? That would mean so much to me. It helps so much and I really have big goals for the podcast because I love bringing you episodes where I truly hope they're impactful and empowering you to build a life that feels fucking epic for you and build a life that feels truly aligned and authentic to who you are as a person. I will see you guys in the next episode.