Piece Of Mind Podcast
Welcome to Piece of Mind, where we piece together the parts of your mind to help you live a life that’s authentic, unapologetic, and absolutely fulfilling.
I’m your host Ashley Badman, a mindset coach and psychology student, here to guide you through the world of subconscious re-programming, relationships, belief systems, and patterns.
This isn’t your typical mindset podcast. We’re diving deep into the core of who you are, tackling everything from self-sabotage and people-pleasing to attachment styles and beyond. We’ll uncover the deeper shit that makes you who you are, so you can grow, evolve, and build a life you’re obsessed with.
Expect a mix of evidence-based insights, energetic shifts, and a touch of chaos as we explore how to heal, optimize, and re-program your life.
This podcast is for those who refuse to settle, who are committed to living life fully and getting the best for themselves.
Get ready for straight talk, practical strategies, and a few surprises along the way. If you’re ready to stop hiding from yourself and start living unapologetically, you’re in the right place. Tune in and let’s get into it.
Piece Of Mind Podcast
Ep 27: Why You’re Not Getting What You Want: Understanding Internal Blocks to Success
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🎙️ EPISODE OVERVIEW
If you’ve ever said you want more; more money, more freedom, better relationships, deeper purpose, but you keep hitting the same walls…
This episode is for you.
We’re diving deep into internal blocks—what they are, where they come from, how they show up, and why they quietly sabotage your success without you even realising it.
You’ll learn:
- What internal blocks actually are
- Why mindset, nervous system work, and identity are at the core of your success
- How subconscious beliefs keep you in cycles of procrastination, self-doubt, and resistance
- Common internal scripts that run your life until you change them
- How to start recognising and rewriting the patterns that are keeping you stuck
- Why this work isn’t a luxury—it’s the foundation for sustainable growth
This episode is an honest, powerful call to look inward, and start moving differently.
Hello everyone and welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast. Why does it sound like I'm singing to you at the start of the podcast? But I'm just excited that you're here. All right, we're going to get straight into it. That's something that I really want to try and do a lot more of in the podcast.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I have way too long of a preamble and I'm like let's just get into this shit, let's talk about it. I also do want to share one thing with you this idea that I've had I had on my morning walk because in Queensland it's been incredibly humid. So I came home, had a shower, wash my hair and in about an hour I have a house inspection, and I was like, if I blow dry my hair and do my makeup, I'm not going to have time to record this podcast, and then there's going to be the house inspection, then I have to pick Dave up from work, then I have to get the kids, and I'm never going to be able to get this idea out into the world, out into your ears, and I think it is very valuable and very worth listening to. So I'm currently sitting here, fresh out of the shower, with my hair wrapped in a towel, and that is how I'm recording this podcast. Most people are in studios and have the full blown set up and the little old me is got my towel on my head and really just wants to share some epic information with you. So who gives a fuck what I look like, right? All right, let's talk about something that I think way too many people are struggling with very, very silently, which is why you're actually not getting what you want, even if you really want it. And I want to be fully transparent before I dive into all of the information, in that this idea came to me because I had this epic, profound moment while I was on one of my walks along the beach, which is where I have all of my creative ideas.
Speaker 1:I was also chatting to one of my besties and it really dawned on me the internal blocks that I have and I know a lot about the mind, a lot about psychology, I have a lot of self-awareness, and there was still this very deep block ingrained in me that I didn't even know was there and when I realized, realized it, I was like holy shit, it is so crazy how powerful the mind and the brain is and how much it can block us from going to that next level and I feel like I've achieved a lot in the last five years of my life that I never thought was possible. But I have bigger goals and bigger dreams and I was just feeling very blocked and limited in my ability to go after them or just in how I was feeling. There were some thoughts and all the things and I was like oof, I landed on what it actually is and it opened up so much for me and I feel like it's really going to help me unlock that next level that I'm trying to get to. So I wanted to bring that to you so that you can understand yourself on that deeper level. So, whether it's more money, more freedom, a deeper relationship, a promotion, even just a healthier lifestyle, whatever success means for you, if you're not getting there, it's probably not because you're lazy or not smart enough or not working hard enough. It's because something's happening under the surface, and that is what I want to talk about today. Because if you've ever felt like you know what you want, you've even set the goals, maybe you've even made a few steps forward, or you've achieved some of those goals, but now your goals have gotten bigger, and then you either procrastinate, avoid it, overthink it or talk yourself out of it completely. That is not a motivation issue. That is an internal block.
Speaker 1:And the thing about internal blocks is that they're not always obvious, they're not loud, they're not dramatic, but they are incredibly powerful and unless we bring them to our awareness, they will quietly run the show, run our life. So in this episode, I want to help you understand what internal blocks actually are, where they come from, how they show up and, most importantly, how you can start identifying your own. We're going to talk about the beliefs, the scripts, the nervous system patterns that keep you stuck. We're going to explore how things from childhood, past experiences, even your sense of identity, can quietly sabotage your success. And we're going to go deep. We're not just going to fuck around with the surface level mindset work, but we're going to dive into more like the shadow work aspect of things too, the stuff that actually shifts things, because this isn't about making you feel bad for not doing more. It's about actually helping you finally understand why you're not moving forward so you can actually start shifting it. So, if you're ready fully, truly ready to stop blaming yourself and start getting honest about what might be happening underneath the surface. This episode is well and truly for you.
Speaker 1:So let's start with what I actually mean when I say internal blocks, because I think this term gets thrown around a lot but not everyone really understands what it looks like or how it plays out in real life, in everyday life situation scenarios. So internal blocks are the unconscious patterns, beliefs and nervous system responses that create resistance between the life we say we want and the one that we are currently living. It's the stuff that's running in the background, often without us even realizing it, influencing the decisions we make or the decisions we don't make and shaping the way we respond to the world around us. And the really tricky part is most internal blocks, like I said before, they're not very loud. A lot of people have no idea that they're even playing out. Even me, who's quite self-aware, teaches this stuff, helps people with this stuff. I just recognized a big internal block this morning. And they don't show up with this big fucking neon sign saying, hey, I'm stopping you from achieving what you want. Instead, they show up as procrastination. They show up as avoidance, perfectionism, overthinking, burnout, comparison, low-level anxiety or straight up shutting down.
Speaker 1:You might say you want to launch a business or apply for a leadership role or promotion or start charging more for your work. But every time you get close to taking action, you suddenly find yourself too busy or too tired or unsure of where to even start. And that's not you being lazy, that's your internal system putting the brakes on because something inside of you doesn't feel safe, ready or worthy of that next step. And that's the thing. Internal blocks aren't about logic. You can consciously want more success, more money, a healthier relationship, more freedom, but if your subconscious believes that having those things isn't safe or possible or allowed, it will find subtle ways to pull you back into your comfort zone. And that's what internal resistance is. It's your brain and your body trying to keep you safe, even if that safe space is stuck, small or completely misaligned with what you actually want.
Speaker 1:And the reason I'm so passionate about teaching this, especially through the lens of mindset, emotional regulation and nervous system work, is because most people don't even realize this is what's going on. They just think they're the problem, something's wrong with them, they're broken. They think they're not committed enough, not disciplined enough or not confident enough, when really what's going on is they're just running a program they didn't even choose. And once you can understand that, once you see that your blocks are learned and not fixed, it actually becomes so much easier to shift them. But the first step is always awareness, self-awareness, true self-awareness, which we're going to get into the difference between self-awareness and true self-awareness, which I just kind of made that term up of true self-awareness, which we're going to get into the difference between self-awareness and true self-awareness, which I just kind of made that term up of true self-awareness. But so many people tell me I'm self-aware, I know what I do, I know where I block myself, I know where I self-sabotage. That is like the very minimal kind of self-awareness I know what I do. The real self-awareness is diving to the deep root cause of that and actually being able to shift it. All right. So now that you have kind of a better sense of what internal blocks are, in a very kind of basic overview type of way because obviously podcasts can only go for so long and I don't want to confuse you and I want to keep it short, sweet and simple that's a basic understanding of what an internal block is. Let's talk about where they actually come from, because this is the part that honestly blows people's mind when they start doing that deeper work on themselves.
Speaker 1:Most of our internal blocks don't come from adulthood. They don't come from bad habits or a lack of discipline or poor time management. They come from conditioning, from childhood, from past experiences, from years of absorbing things about who you are, what you're allowed to have and what it takes to be accepted, loved and safe in this. And quite often that conditioning isn't even super explicit. It wasn't someone sitting you down and saying you're not allowed to be successful or you don't deserve a healthy relationship. It's more subtle than that.
Speaker 1:Maybe growing up you had to be the responsible one. You had to manage your emotions and sometimes you were responsible for other people's emotional reactions too. Maybe you learned to be the good girl in quotation marks and quiet one in quotation marks the helper. Maybe you watched your parents struggle good girl in quotation marks and quiet one in quotation marks, the helper. Maybe you watched your parents struggle with money or burnout and success was always paired with stress or sacrifice. Maybe no one ever said it, but the energy in the house told you that life is hard, money doesn't come easy and you don't complain, you just get on with it, and those experiences shape the scripts your brain runs in adulthood, they become the beliefs that brain runs in adulthood. They become the beliefs that live underneath your goals.
Speaker 1:So now, even though you consciously want more freedom, more wealth, more recognition, you've got these unconscious patterns saying if you make more money, you're going to lose your freedom. If you succeed, people will expect too much from you. If you're fully seen, you'll be judged. If you stand out, someone will tear you down. And sometimes the beliefs are even more personal. For example, if you had a parent who only praised you when you achieved something like getting good grades or being the best, you might have learned that your worth is tied to your performance. So now, every time you slow down or rest, you feel guilty or anxious. You don't actually know how to feel worthy without proving yourself. Or maybe you watched one parent handle everything while the other checked out completely. So now, without realizing it, you equate success with burnout. You feel like, unless you're carrying everything on your back, you're not doing enough.
Speaker 1:And I want to be very clear here. These are just two examples. There are going to be so many examples of things that we grew up witnessing, hearing, absorbing. It doesn't mean these things had to be directly said to us, spoken to us when we are a child, when we are growing up, we are absorbing everything around us. We can feel the energy from what's happening around us. We can feel when our parents are stressed because they can't manage their money. We can feel when it's our responsibility to always be good and always be quiet so that our mom or our dad doesn't get angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed or anxious.
Speaker 1:We carry these rules, which turn into these scripts that have come from scenarios that we don't even really remember. We don't always remember every single thing that played out in our childhood and what we made sense of it at the time. And what we have to really remember with that is it's like the way that the scripts work isn't what makes logical sense for us now, at the age we are. Now in our adult body, in our adult mind. The script is being run from the version of us that was the child, of what we made sense of at the time and that gets ingrained into our brain, into our mind, into our nervous system, and it runs these scripts and these programs and impacts how we show up, what we believe we're capable of, and that's where these internal blocks come from.
Speaker 1:It's not always obvious. We don't always know why. We don't always know why. We know that we need to do something but we find ourselves in a fucking scroll hole on TikTok we don't know why that every time we get an opportunity, we sabotage it, even though we know that we want it with every ounce of our body. We know that the version of us now and the habits we have now and the things that we believe about ourselves in the world now aren't getting us to that next level version of ourselves. We know all of this, but we sometimes don't know why. Like, why do I do that? Why can't I just fucking get to that next level? Why can't I make more money? Why can't I get the promotion? Why can't my business take off? Why can't I be in beautifully connected relationships?
Speaker 1:Whatever it is for you, whatever your version of success is, if you can't understand why, it's because it is something that you likely don't even remember. It is something that you likely right now can't make sense of. But just because, logically, you know those things aren't true, like you know that you're going to be okay if someone judges you or whatever, logically, subconsciously, on a deeper level, that's not the case and we act based on our subconscious beliefs. Very important to understand that. What's another important thing to understand about this is it's not just beliefs, it is the nervous system too, because your brain and your body are designed to keep you safe based on what's familiar, not what is aligned. So if chaos, struggle or self-sacrifice felt normal growing up, then peace, success or abundance might actually feel super uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Now, even though it's what you say you want, like it can be so frustrating because you're like ah, I want peace in my life, I want to feel content, I want success, I want peace in my life, I want to feel content, I want success, I want abundance. We can want all of those things, but is our system capable of actually holding it? And if we don't hold it, then no, we're not capable of, we're not capable of actually holding it. There is something about it that feels uncomfortable and it can feel frustrating because it's like I consciously know I want these things. Why do I say I want them? Why do I know what I want, but I actually can't get it? Because to your subconscious it feels uncomfortable. That's why you might find yourself self-sabotaging, that's why you procrastinate or shrink when the opportunity finally arrives. It's not because you're broken, it's because your system is trying to pull you back into what it knows, and what it knows might be completely out of alignment with the life that you're trying to create now. The goals, the bigger vision, the things that you want.
Speaker 1:These beliefs don't just shape our behavior. They shape our identity. We start to see ourselves as the one who always struggles, the one who never gets ahead, the one who can't be trusted with money, and that identity becomes something we unconsciously try to stay very consistent with. And this is also why mindset work that only focuses on surface level positivity or goal setting it doesn't actually work because it's just scratching the surface of what we really need to be working on. Because if you don't get curious about where these beliefs and blocks actually come from, or what they even are, you'll keep hitting the same walls. You'll keep wondering why things feel hard, why you keep freezing, why you say you want something and then don't take action toward it.
Speaker 1:And it's not about forcing yourself out of it. It's about understanding that your internal world was shaped by what you lived through. But just because it was shaped that way doesn't mean it has to stay that way. You're not stuck, even though it can very much feel like it. Sometimes You're just running patterns that were designed to protect you a very long time ago and now that you can become aware of them, you can actually start to shift them. But we can't change what we're not willing to see, and this is the part of the work where the deepest clarity comes through.
Speaker 1:So I want you to take a second to reflect. What did you learn without even realizing it, about success, about safety, about being seen, and is that belief still helping you or is it quietly holding you back? Something to really sit with, even if you have to like pause the podcast, because sometimes it's so easy to consume and to listen. But if you actually sat with that question and you really like, maybe if it closed your eyes or got out a journal or got out your phone notes or whatever it is like truly ask yourself what beliefs did I learn without realizing it? What did my childhood and my childhood experiences and my environment and, just like my life in general, what did it teach me about myself and the world that maybe I didn't realize? What did it teach me about success? For me?
Speaker 1:I grew up always struggling, so we grew up with not very much money at all. My mom was a single mom for most of my life, actually pretty much all of my life, until she met my stepdad when I was 11. So I grew up, you know, with single mom and then obviously with my stepdad. He didn't immediately come into our family and become a part of the family. So, yeah, we grew up struggling. I lived in government housing. So you can kind of imagine like well, maybe you can't imagine if you haven't lived it and experienced it but the street or the environment that you live in, when you live in government housing, your surroundings there was a lot of struggle. There was a lot of inability to hold money and feel safe with money. There's a lot of projection to what it means to be rich and successful in a negative way. So people who obviously really struggle with money and live in government housing can quite often see people who are wealthy and rich as bad, wrong, greedy, whatever it is, and this can be what you're surrounded by.
Speaker 1:I was also a teen mom, so the struggle continued of what it's like to be a teen mom and not having a lot of money then and living paycheck to paycheck with my partner's pay and all the different things. So for me, it's like struggle has been very normal. Even though nobody wants to struggle, we will keep ourselves in what we deemed to be normal, what our brain and our nervous system deemed to be normal. So, for me, what did I learn about the world? What beliefs did I start to form about myself and about my surroundings as an adult, based on my childhood experiences and you don't have to have experienced exactly what I've experienced.
Speaker 1:People who grow up with very wealthy parents or have a very normal childhood still form beliefs that actually limit them. So you could have grown up in that, but now you believe that your parents were always stressed and always busy and never had time for you. So you start to equate having lots of money and success with never having time, never having freedom, being stressed all of the time. It depends. It depends on your unique circumstances and situations. That's why mindset and psychology is not a blanket rule. This is why we have to be so careful when we're consuming content online about the mind and the brain and psychology and childhood and all the different things, because even if two people experience the exact same thing, we are going to experience different internal beliefs, internal blocks and different programming and different scripts, and that's why it's always so important to take time to reflect.
Speaker 1:When you learn something or you listen to something like this, reflect on how it impacts you or how it relates to you, and if you can't figure out how it relates to you, that is a self-awareness problem. That is, I'm not willing to actually go deeper into my own mind, into my own thoughts. That's a. That is a. I'm not willing to actually go deeper into my own mind, into my own thoughts. That's a.
Speaker 1:I lack curiosity and the ability to observe myself, and quite often it can be in itself a self-protective mechanism. I don't want to look at it, I don't want to go there, I don't want to think about it. I just want to keep focusing on what I need to do, move forward and having more discipline, all the things that aren't actually going to help you until you are actually willing to get completely honest with yourself about what you believe to be true about yourself, about what beliefs are ingrained in your mind, and sometimes we don't want to look at them because sometimes they're negative towards other people. Sometimes it's how we judge others what we think about successful people, what we think about people who are rich. Maybe we judge other women who are bold and big and have big personalities and we think they're arrogant and annoying. That can be beliefs that we have formed and they're the ones that no one wants to admit. They're the ones that we don't want to sit with because it doesn't feel pretty and nice and light and like really beautiful and magical. But we have to be willing to be so honest with ourselves. What do I believe about women who are super confident? What do I believe about people who are really really really rich and really really successful?
Speaker 1:Are there things that I sometimes mumble under my breath when I see people living that life, do I compare myself and then say, well, I'm never going to have that because I'm not like them. These are all your inner dialogue, these are all of your beliefs, and there are so many of them. We have a whole system of beliefs that are going on in our subconscious mind. These can be ones that we bring to our conscious awareness, but there is like a whole system below the surface that majority of people never sit with for their whole entire lives and then wonder why they don't reach their goals. It's like this is the work. This is what you need to do to actually understand yourself, because it's you who's going to reach your goals, nothing outside of yourself.
Speaker 1:A lot of people will be like, well, I had a really hard childhood. Or you know other people had parents who paid for things and put them in sport and da da, so that's why they're successful. No, that's actually not true. I mean it can be true in a degree of, yeah, that's been helpful for them, perfect. But does that mean that you can't be successful? Absolutely not. So this is why we have to sit with these things. We are capable. You are capable. You can achieve absolutely anything that you want to achieve. You can set your goals bigger than they currently are right now. But if you don't actually look at yourself and you don't be honest with yourself and you don't look within, you will keep hitting roadblocks, and it won't be because of anything outside of yourself. It will be because of everything inside of yourself that you are usually just not willing to look at or we don't want to look at. Okay, so now that we understand what internal blocks are and where they come from, which again, it could be a much deeper topic.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's so challenging with podcasts because I'm like I want to give so much and I want to give more because, like I run whole courses, programs all the things on the end is deep. It's like there's so many nuances and so many things that we could learn. But I want to keep it like clear, concise. I want you to fucking pay attention and be here and, like focus on the podcast. So let's go a little deeper into the actual scripts and programming that do actually keep people stuck, because once you start paying attention, you'll notice that the voice in your head has a very specific pattern, and it's not random. It's made up of stories, beliefs and sentences that have been repeated by other people or by you for years. And what's wild is, most of us never even stop to question them. We just live by them, we make decisions around them, and then we wonder why we keep hitting the same glass ceiling.
Speaker 1:So what I want to walk you through are some of the most common internal scripts I see in people who are blocked from stepping into their next level, whether that's more money, better relationships, career progression, more peace, more confidence, whatever success looks like to them. And as I go through these, I want you to notice which ones feel familiar to you. You don't need to judge them, you just need to get really, really honest. So here we go. Here are the most common ones I see. First one I'm not good with money. So this one runs deep.
Speaker 1:If you were told you were irresponsible or you saw money mismanaged growing up, you might avoid it completely. Now you might not check your bank account, you don't want to look at it, you don't want to even see, you don't want to deal with it. You might undercharge or overspend or freeze the minute someone brings up finances, because your identity has been shaped around the belief that you're not equipped to handle it. The next one if I make more money, I'll lose my freedom. So this belief shows up in a lot of, you know, in people a lot, who associate wealth with burnout. If your only model for success growing up was someone working constantly, feeling miserable or never being around, you might unconsciously link success with sacrifice. So even though you want more abundance, you keep sabotaging it because deep down you think it will cost you your peace.
Speaker 1:The next one is I can't have success and happiness. And this one is sneaky. It's the idea that you can have one or the other, but never both. That if life is going well in one area, something bad must be coming. That success comes with strings attached, and this can come from childhood instability, trauma or just growing up in an environment where happiness was always very, very temporary. The next one is if I'm too successful, people will judge me. So this belief is so common for women especially. You might fear being seen as too much, too confident, too loud, too proud, so you dim yourself, play it safe, understate your wins or avoid taking up space, even though part of you wants to be seen and celebrated. Next one is if I'm fully seen, I'll be rejected.
Speaker 1:This one often starts in childhood. Maybe you were told you were too sensitive, too emotional, or maybe you were only loved when you were told you were too sensitive, too emotional, or maybe you were only loved when you were performing or behaving a certain way. So now, as an adult, vulnerability feels like a risk and even in relationships you might hold back or push people away because deep down, being seen feels very unsafe for you. The next one is I don't finish things. So this is an identity script. You maybe started projects, programs or goals and didn't follow through, and now you've internalized that as just truth. That is your universal truth. So every time you do start something, there's a part of you already expecting yourself to fail, and that story keeps you frozen before you even begin. Next one is I always mess things up. So this one keeps people stuck in cycles of shame. If you've made mistakes in the past or were constantly criticized, you might now live with this low-grade fear that, no matter what you do, you'll ruin it. So you stop trying or you over-control everything to avoid disappointment.
Speaker 1:Next one is success is for other people, but not for for me. Maybe you look at people doing the things you dream about and you think that's just not on the cards for me. You've internalized this belief that you're not the kind of person success actually happens to and because of that you might not even try, or you'll subconsciously prove that that belief by pulling back anytime something starts to go well. Something very crucial there is to touch on is confirmation bias. We and our brain is designed to confirm the things that we already believe about ourselves. So if you believe success is for other people and not for me, you will act in a way and do things so that you can confirm that belief to be true. You might get stuck in comparison. You will go out of your way to scroll social media, look at people that are doing better than you and say it's because they're smarter, it's because they're prettier, it's because they had a better life growing up than you, whatever it is. So you can confirm to yourself yeah, see, success is for people who are smarter, prettier, had a better upbringing, and not me. You will confirm that to be true.
Speaker 1:Or, every time that you get close to having success or achieving the goal whether it's something as simple as a weight loss goal or something as big as career progression or business progression or just a life level up you will sabotage it. You will procrastinate, you will put perfectionist tendencies on yourself. You will do the thing that ensures that you don't get that success, because then you get to say see, success isn't for me. You've just confirmed your own belief Very, very sneaky. This is why we need to understand our beliefs.
Speaker 1:The next one is if I succeed, people will expect too much of me. So this one is very big for people who felt a lot of pressure growing up. Maybe you were the high achiever or you were the one that everyone relied on and success meant constant pressure. So now, when opportunities come, your brain goes more success equals more pressure, equals more people expecting more from me equals burnout. So you back away from the very thing you say you want. And the last one that I'm going to touch on, for this is this feels too good to be true, so something bad must be coming. This belief is very sneaky. It's very exhausting. You may not think that say that, but it can be playing out beneath the surface. When things are going well, your nervous system starts scanning for danger. You anticipate the downfall. You don't allow yourself to fully receive love, success, joy or peace, because a part of you is convinced it won't last anyway. So, even when life is good, you're bracing for the loss, and that makes it really hard to hold on to things you've worked so hard to create.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing with all of these and obviously there are so much more. There are so, so, so, so many scripts, all the things, but I just want to touch on a couple. The thing with these is none of them are actually facts. They're actually not your truth. They're stories your brain learned to keep you safe. But if you don't become aware of them, if you don't ever question them, if you don't ever even look to like, figure out what they are. What is your programming, what is your scripts, what are your personal scripts? If you don't ever look at that, they're going to keep running your life like for fucking ever.
Speaker 1:No, we don't want that. You'll keep setting goals with one part of your brain and blocking them with another, and this is why awareness is the first shift, because the moment you can name the script, you can stop living by it. So if even one of those beliefs felt familiar, I want you to sit with that for a second. I want you to ask yourself where did I actually learn that? Who taught me that was true, and is it actually helping me get to where I want to go? Okay, well, we're going to go a little bit deeper here, because identifying your blocks is one thing, but most people don't realize that is that we're actually attached to the very thing that is holding us back, and I get that might sound very weird at first, because obviously we want to grow right. We want the relationship, the success, the abundance, the freedom.
Speaker 1:But there is another layer here, and this is the layer of your identity. Your identity is made up of everything you've learned to believe about yourself over time. And it's not just who you are, it's who you've needed to be to feel safe, accepted or in control. So if you've always been the one who pushes through, the one who never asked for help, the one who keeps things together, the one who survives, then ease, support, wealth and peace they actually don't fit that identity. They feel unfamiliar and your brain will always try to keep consistent with actually how you see yourself, even if it's costing you the things that you say that you want. And that's where kind of this deeper level of.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you guys have ever heard of shadow work, but it's basically just it's mindset work, it's just understanding your mind. It's that's the name for that. Basically it is the process of looking at the parts of you that you've rejected, denied, hidden or disowned, not just the things you don't like, but the parts of you that you feel are threatening to your current sense of self. And here's where it gets really interesting. Sometimes we actually benefit from staying stuck, not consciously, but on some level. The struggle is familiar, the chaos is comfortable.
Speaker 1:The story you've always told yourself that you're the underdog, the outsider, the one who has to fight for everything has become a part of your identity. So the idea of being deeply supported, the idea of success that comes without burnout, the idea of being loved without proving your worth, can feel unsafe Because if you accept that, you'd have to let go of the stories that you've been living inside of for years and maybe your entire life, and that is terrifying for your nervous system, even if it's that thing that you say that you want, Sometimes we fear getting what we want more than we fear not having it, because getting it means change, getting it means expansion, it means being seen, being responsible, being open and being vulnerable, and that can feel more threatening than staying where we are, even if where we are isn't working for us. So this is where you have to ask yourself the harder questions what part of me is benefiting from staying stuck? What am I avoiding by not fully stepping into the next level, and what identity would I have to let go of to actually become the version of me who has what I want? Because sometimes your block isn't fear of failure, sometimes it's fear of success, it's fear of becoming someone new, it's fear of shedding the version of you that's always struggled, always hustled, always proved their worth, and that's not something to be ashamed of. This is why I always say we can't release what we're still secretly clinging to.
Speaker 1:If you want to break the pattern, you have to own it first. You have to get honest about the beliefs you're still entertaining, even if they're holding you back. And and this kind of honesty, you know, it's not always comfortable. It's not always comfortable to look at yourself and say, wow, I actually get so much comfort out of staying exactly where I am. I actually feel comfortable in my own chaos. I feel comfortable at this level, at this income range, at this, you know, level in which I am seen.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's friendships You're not you want. You say you want new friendships and deeper connections, but you actually feel comfortable with having limited friendships, because new friendships is a new level of vulnerability, it's putting yourself out there, it's the fear of rejection, it's it's so many things that I just I think is so fascinating. Fascinating. It's why I love to work with people one-on-one, because, as much as I love the podcast and all the different things, people are so unique. People are so incredibly unique and whilst, yes, we have so much more in common than we think, like so much more, each person has their own scripts and their own story and their own limitations and their own beliefs, and I think it is so empowering and powerful to just be radically honest with ourselves about what they are, even the things that we feel shame around within ourselves, even the things that we want to reject within ourselves.
Speaker 1:For the longest time, I wanted to reject within myself that I craved wealth, that I wanted to, you know, have financial stability, and more than financial stability, I wanted to have generational wealth for my children. All the things. I shamed that for so long because I was like does that make me greedy? Does that mean that I now don't care about my, the work that I'm doing, because I also want to make money? Like I shamed myself for that. And there are so many things that we keep hidden about ourselves. I have the most chaotic personality and I'm also highly sensitive. I have so many contradictory things about myself that I was like rejecting parts of me because I didn't think that that was going to be what makes me feel accepted or belong or whatever it is. And then there's the things that we really don't want to see in, where we judge other people, where I used to judge other women for being super confident, and the reason for that was because I didn't feel confident with myself. So if we can make other people wrong by judging them, then we don't have to face the part of ourselves that actually desires that but is scared.
Speaker 1:So it's even looking at where do you judge other people? I know it's not comfortable, I know we don't want to admit that. Where do we still gossip about other people? Where do we have a group chat? Where we're gossiping about someone we're meant to be friends with, or sending screenshots of people online being like how cringe, how lame, I'm so embarrassed for her. Whatever it is, all that's doing is blocking you from looking at something within yourself. It's projecting outwards so that we don't have to look inwards and that actually there's so much power in being able to be like oh wait, I actually do judge people. I do judge people for X, y, z or I do compare like whatever it is, it's looking at these deeper, darker parts of ourselves that we have suppressed, repressed for so long, and that is so, so fucking liberating. But yeah, this kind of honesty, it's not always comfortable, but it's the doorway to real, lasting change, because the moment you take full ownership of the identity you're living in now, you get to choose something different, and that's where your power lives. All right, let's bring this all together.
Speaker 1:If there is one thing I want you to take away from this episode, it's that the gap between where you are now and where you want to be is not a gap of potential. It's not that you're not smart enough or driven enough or capable enough. It's that your mind and your nervous system and your identity are all running a program that says this is who we are, this is what's safe and this is what we're used to. And unless you update that internal system, you'll keep hitting the same blocks, no matter how many goals you set, how hard you push or how much you want it. And this is why mindset work truly does matter. This is why I'm obsessed with psychology, not in, like the fluffy surface level, just think positive, kind of way, but in the deep, honest, let's rewrite the blueprint kind of way.
Speaker 1:Because when you understand how your brain works, when you know how your nervous system responds to stress, success, uncertainty, visibility, when you can actually name the beliefs and the stories that are creating resistance, that's when things actually start to shift, that's when we start to grow, that's when we start to reach that next level. That's when we can hold that next level. That's when we can hold more money, hold more success, hold more visibility, hold more achievement and feel safe and regulated doing so. That's when you can look at procrastination and go yeah, this is just the fear of being judged. You can see your freeze response and say my body doesn't feel safe with this level of growth. Yet you can recognize the voice in your head that says I'm not ready, and realize that's not truth, that's conditioning.
Speaker 1:This is the work that makes everything else more sustainable your habits, your business, your relationships, your career, your ability to expand without constantly crashing. And if we don't do this work, if we only focus on like strategies, outcomes, effort, we stay stuck in cycles of burnout, self-sabotage and never feeling like enough. This is why I believe that mindset work is a leadership responsibility. This is why it belongs in schools and workplaces and relationships and personal development. It belongs everywhere, because your mindset isn't just about how you think. It's about how you relate to yourself. It's about how you handle challenges, how you move through resistance and how much of your own life you're actually able to hold If you want to grow, build, lead or create anything meaningful. This work is not like an optional luxury, it is the foundation.
Speaker 1:If you've been listening to this episode and I hope that you've been enjoying it I hope you take things out of it. But if you've been thinking, yeah, that's me. I can see exactly where I've been stuck and I'm so fucking ready to shift it, or I can see that I'm limiting myself and I can't see exactly where that is or exactly where that I'm stuck, but I want to explore it Then this is your sign to take that next step. Because the truth is, awareness is super powerful, obviously, but transformation comes when you actually do the work, when you move beyond just knowing what's holding you back and start retraining the patterns in your mind, brain and nervous system. And that's exactly what we're going to be doing at my next Built for Better in-person event. Like I feel so excited saying that out loud, get the fuck out.
Speaker 1:I've run in-person events before. I've run three weekend in-person events. I've run a four-day retreat, which is so wild to say and I can't believe that I actually did that. What a dream come true. And it was so perfect and amazing. But I haven't run just a day event and this is going to be my first built for better day event that has been. It's so intentional, it is planned so amazingly and it's just going to be the best day ever. It is a full day, immersive experience where we strip back the layers, challenge the scripts, regulate the nervous system and help you really reconnect with your potential in a way that feels real and sustainable.
Speaker 1:I see myself as someone who can, like extract someone's full potential. I'm very good at being able to really really see people beyond the words that they actually speak. Someone will say something to me and I'll be able to see beneath that the pattern, the belief, and be able to reflect that to them. Like I can see people's potential in them before they can see in themselves, because their scripts and their beliefs are kind of clouding that potential. And my gift and what I'm good at is being able to use the brain, the mind and the nervous system to kind of like dig through all of that and be like no, here it is and here's what we need to work on. And that takes time. It's not like, oh, the block, there it is, and now we've changed our whole life. It takes intentional time. It takes more than just learning. It takes putting yourself in the spaces and the rooms like the one that I'm creating.
Speaker 1:I actually haven't launched this other than to my email list and tickets are like selling. People are traveling to Harvey Beck. More tickets are selling than I expected to begin with and now I'm like, oh, I actually think this is going to sell out and it's actually at a lower price at the moment, so you can secure a ticket for $110, which covers the entire day, and it's going to be so amazing and you're going to connect with so many amazing women and connect with yourself. All the food, all the workshops, guest speaker drinks, all the things like everything is going to be included and it's just going to be so amazing. It isn't about a motivation, it's not just about, like hyping you up. It's a deep, practical mindset and embodiment work that actually shifts how you show up in your life and in your goals. So if you're craving that breakthrough moment of just like fully fucking getting out of your comfort zone in a room full of real, honest and growth minded people, then this is for you. I'm going to put the link for the tickets in the show notes. The price is going to increase to $149, I think, in a few days. So there's only 20 spots.
Speaker 1:If you feel like, yeah, I really want to do this, but I'm scared or I'm unsure, just trust yourself, just do it. I know that the biggest decisions for me have just been when I'm like, fuck, this scares the shit out of me and I don't know if, like, I should be doing this or whatever, and I just fucking commit and I just do it and I just commit to getting the most out of it within myself. So if that is you and you want to be in that room, I would love to see you there. And if you can't be there in person and you want a space where you can keep doing this work consistently, you can join us in the Built for Better Academy. It is jam packed with resources, lessons, tools and frameworks that really do help you rewire your beliefs, build emotional capacity and stop blocking yourself from what you know you're fucking capable of. Plus, you're surrounded by a community that actually gets it inside the academy, and you get support from me along the way.
Speaker 1:So, whether it's in the room with me or inside the academy, I just want you to know this that you don't have to keep living in these same stories.
Speaker 1:You don't have to stay stuck in a version of yourself that doesn't feel true anymore, that the mind and the brain and the nervous system and all these things are so fucking powerful and they're yours. It's your mind, it's your brain, it's your nervous system. You are already powerful. You just need to learn how to tap into it because truly and I know this sounds so fucking cliche, but you are built for better Right now what you're doing. You could be doing so much more. You could be enjoying life so much more, achieving so much more, just whatever that is. You can do whatever the fuck it is that you set your mind to, but you have to work on your mind so that your mind allows you to get there, and this is the work that will show you how to reclaim it. So all of the information will be in the show notes links, all of the different things. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Love you Bye and I'll see you in the next episode.