Piece Of Mind Podcast
Welcome to Piece of Mind, where we piece together the parts of your mind to help you live a life that’s authentic, unapologetic, and absolutely fulfilling.
I’m your host Ashley Badman, a mindset coach and psychology student, here to guide you through the world of subconscious re-programming, relationships, belief systems, and patterns.
This isn’t your typical mindset podcast. We’re diving deep into the core of who you are, tackling everything from self-sabotage and people-pleasing to attachment styles and beyond. We’ll uncover the deeper shit that makes you who you are, so you can grow, evolve, and build a life you’re obsessed with.
Expect a mix of evidence-based insights, energetic shifts, and a touch of chaos as we explore how to heal, optimize, and re-program your life.
This podcast is for those who refuse to settle, who are committed to living life fully and getting the best for themselves.
Get ready for straight talk, practical strategies, and a few surprises along the way. If you’re ready to stop hiding from yourself and start living unapologetically, you’re in the right place. Tune in and let’s get into it.
Piece Of Mind Podcast
Ep 33: Finding Peace After Trauma: Letitia's Story of Resilience
Disclaimer:
This episode contains discussions around sensitive topics including domestic violence, suicide, mental health challenges, and eating disorders. While these conversations are important, they may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care while listening. If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available.
Support Resources (Australia):
- Lifeline: 13 11 14 – 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention.
- 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 – 24/7 support for sexual assault, domestic and family violence.
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 – Support for mental health, anxiety, and depression.
- Butterfly Foundation: 1800 33 4673 – Support for eating disorders and body image issues.
Letitia shares her extraordinary journey from childhood trauma to spiritual healing and how she's transforming generational patterns through mindful parenting and self-awareness.
• Letitia's approach to spirituality as practical, accessible, and integrated into everyday life
• The astrological significance of 2025 as a "gateway year" with multiple planets changing signs
• Surviving a childhood with an alcoholic mother and domestic violence
• Developing an eating disorder as a coping mechanism when no one intervened
• Losing her mother to suicide and navigating that grief
• Supporting her own daughter through depression and disordered eating
• Finding strength in choosing how to view trauma rather than being defined by it
• The importance of accepting painful emotions without shame
• How spiritual practices provide tools for healing and self-understanding
Follow Letitia on Instagram HERE.
Hello and welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast. Today is a guest episode podcast. This episode we talk about some very big topics and I wanted to do a trigger warning on the beginning of this episode, just so that you know what you're going to be listening to and if you believe that listening to these sorts of topics are going to feel quite sensitive to you or bring up some things for you that you don't wanna bring up right now, you can choose not to listen to this episode. In this episode I'm talking to the beautiful Letitia. Letitia is a mindset coach, she's an astrologist, she's an intuitive person, she does card readings, she is an absolute light and listening to her speak is truly a pleasure to anybody who gets to listen to her. She also has an incredibly empowering, inspiring, also painful story. The things that she has been through and navigated in her lifetime are very, very hard and very challenging and she has decided in this episode to speak about those things and speak about the things that have happened to her. We do speak about domestic violence. We speak about suicide, we speak about suicidal thoughts, mental health, eating disorders, disordered eating. So if any of those topics are going to cause you to feel some sort of distress or emotional distress and you don't want to listen, please choose not to listen to this episode. If you do want to listen to this episode, I think that you are going to feel very empowered and very inspired by the way that Letitia thinks and has approached her situation. I do hope you enjoy this episode. I am going to put in the show notes any mental health helplines places that you can call if this does bring up anything for you. You are not alone, you are not a burden and there is help there for you. Love you guys. Please enjoy this episode. Welcome back to the Peace of Mind podcast.
Speaker 1:Today I have the most beautiful, beautiful guest on. You would have heard in my intro how much I love and adore this person. I've been like trying to get her to come on the podcast for I don't even know how long, because our conversations that we have together, when it's just the two of us, I'm like people need to fucking hear this wisdom coming from you, and today you guys are going to get to hear the wisdom. She's probably rolling her eyes at me Like don't say I have wisdom, because now I feel pressure, but it's okay, we're going to get into it. I have the beautiful Letitia joining me today. Letitia, let's just start off by giving a brief intro. You tell us who you are. If someone was listening to this and they're like I've never met her before, don't know who she is, I know that's a really shitty question and people hate that question so much, but you don't. We're going to get into it over the episode, so just give us a brief intro.
Speaker 2:Who are you, my love? Well, I'm Letitia. Thank you for having me as well. It is a pleasure. I don't know. Who am I? I'm, I don't know. I'm a mum. I'm a mum of two teenagers. I live in a beautiful beachside town in Victoria and I I guess I run a couple of businesses. We have a family business, but my own business is my joy and I do readings, I do astrology, um coaching, but anything intuitive.
Speaker 2:I've grown up with it, I love it. The Kabbalah, I just bring it into my life and I think that's the thing with me Like I don't do a lot of things that I think normal spiritual people would do, because to me it's just something that is an eight, and I want to bring it into the real world, into the practical world, and I don't want to make it complicated. So I do feel like I'm highly spiritual, but I don't feel like I act like I'm a highly spiritual person, if you know what I mean. Um, so I see myself as just I don't know really real normal. Sometimes I don't even know what I do sometimes like who am I?
Speaker 1:what do I do? What is life? No, I actually love that, what you've said about yourself there, because I honestly think, like for me, for context, I am, I'm probably and this is not a flex, I don't even say in a way that I'm proud of it I was probably like the least spiritual person and just very skeptical and and I I don't even know why I was so skeptical and I think maybe it's like a control thing or needing to make sense of everything and everything feel logical. I don't know, it's probably a trauma response, to be honest. But then I met Letitia and Letitia has been, I guess, my gateway into exploring being more spiritual.
Speaker 1:I actually get weekly readings off of Letitia, weekly card readings, and she does a bit of my astrology and it is honestly the highlight of my week weekly card readings and she does a bit of my astrology and it is honestly the highlight of my week and I look forward to it so much and it has allowed me to really start to understand spirituality in a way that feels kind of accessible, in a way that kind of still it doesn't have to make sense, but it kind of does with you because of what you just said.
Speaker 1:You make it applicable to people, you make it real for people. And I think that can be hard in the spiritual world, like it can sometimes feel like if you're not spiritual, it feels like you're never going to be able to, because it feels like a completely different world, a completely different way of living and thinking. But you seem to blend them together really well. I don't know if it's even just because you say, fuck, so much, maybe, and that doesn't feel very spiritual, so maybe I'm just like, yeah, this is my girl, um, and I just love it so much. Leticia has opened my eyes to so much and helped me so much. She's actually Letitia is my client. I feel like I should, um, also preface that I've worked with Letitia. For how long have we worked together?
Speaker 2:is it like two and a half years I?
Speaker 1:reckon yeah, it must be, which is insane. I kind of remember time by houses and I was living in my last house when we started working together. Letitia, if I started to working together on did, did it go to business or was it mindset? You did a mindset thing of mine and then it went to business, mentoring.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did one of your. I think I did your first mindset group and then we did a mindset container.
Speaker 1:Was it Path to Alignment? Yes, what, that's so stupid. Oh my God, I love you so, so much. That makes my heart so happy. You guys, that was my first ever mindset thing. I was so nervous to do that, um, but I've worked with Letitia ever since and we have created such a such an incredible relationship between the two of us and I've got to see Letitia really step into her own at one point when we're doing business, mentoring.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know she did card readings. I didn't even know she did astrology, and then she kind of like told me about it and I was like wait, is this a joke? Like why are you not doing this? Wow, you're like really good at this, you're really passionate. And we were in a mastermind at the time that I was hosting and all the other girls in it were like can you please do my reading, can you please tell me? And it kind of yeah, it was really cool to see her in that. I feel like we need to start this podcast episode off with a bit of astrology. I feel like it makes sense. And when I was waiting to we were waiting to get on this she was like I'm just looking at the astrology for the day. So can you tell us the astrology for the day?
Speaker 2:Ah the astrology of the day, today's actually quite calm, but the thing is like I love looking at the collective astrology and look, everyone's saying this and maybe it gets oversaid, but 2025 is a bit of a gateway year in terms of energy and that's what I like to work with in terms of any kind of spirituality that I'm doing. It's really energy and how that energy applies to you. But the planets, you know, they move at different phases and speeds and they all have different kind of like archetypes, and that's what I really like about them. But most them, like the outer planets, they do move very, very slowly and have their own rhythm, for whatever reason, all changing signs within the same year, and that's a very unusual occurrence. So it's just, I don't know.
Speaker 2:For me it's been a year of just not stepping back, but I like to observe. You know, I like to observe. I'm very much an observer of people and events, but the energy is just. You know, the planets are shifting and when the planets shift, we collectively are being asked to shift as well, and they do this beautiful dance where they shift into the new signs and then they're going back to their old signs and then you get a chance to complete something before they fully emerge in 2026. And so I love I'm quite dramatic and I'm quite romantic and I love telling stories, so I love just visualizing the dance and that they're actually giving us an opportunity to have this little teaser and taste of this new energy and we we get to play with it, like we make the conscious choices of how we're going to use this energy and then they go back into the old energy so we can go oh, I need to fix that or change that or do this before we fully embrace 2026.
Speaker 2:And so to me, this year's like just this huge gateway energy, but then I bring it into my chart personally, so I look at the collective, but I think the the real thing is when you're looking at your own chart, because nothing can be happening in the heavens, but then you look at your chart and see where a planet's activating something, you go okay, and to me it just makes me curious. It's not like I feel like it's fated and I have no choice. It's just that when I see things shift and move within the heavens or the planets or something and I bring it into my chart, I always go well, what can I do with this? Where is it speaking to me? And obviously, in retrospect, when you can see certain events happen, you go. Okay, I know why that happened and how I can move forward with that, and so I think at the moment, we're just playing with new energy.
Speaker 2:It's everyone keeps on. You know, everyone seems to be having a bit of a hectic, unknown year, and I've said from the very beginning of the year and other people have said it as well I'm not the lone ranger. That's the thing. When you're part of a beautiful community, you get to kind of like bounce off each other. Is that? You know? I think if you start 2025 going, this is who I am and this is where I'm going to get you're going to get stuck because I think 2025 is a year of going. I actually don't know where I'm going to end up, and that's kind of cool.
Speaker 1:I actually I actually think it's really cool and it's so funny because I'm experiencing all of that. It's so interesting, like I would love to hear from people who listen to this. If, like, you're kind of experiencing that with 2025, of just being like things are changing or moving or going where you didn't think, or you're unsure because I'm I'm kind of in like a unsure, like I'm not really sure where I'm going and what I'm doing, which is weird, right. And I think that hearing from you when you do my readings and hearing about 2025, what's going on with astrology and things like that, I think what it's done for me and I don't know if this is like I'm not an expert in astrology everyone so anything I say, just completely disregard and listen to Letitia, because I have no fucking clue. But for me, what it has allowed me to do is surrender, like it's just allowed me to be okay. That okay.
Speaker 1:Right now you're not very clear and you don't maybe know what your next just like decision is or move is, or you do, but you don't know where it's leading you and and can that be okay? And as someone who has, like, I share a lot about like my trauma kind of a lot about it and it has made me someone who can be quite controlling, in the sense of, like I like to have control over my life and where it's going. And this year has just been like none of that, like there is no control. I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I don't know where the fuck I'm going, I don't know what's happening. And hearing what you say about astrology for 2025 has allowed me to be like and can that just be okay? Can can it be okay that you don't know where you're going?
Speaker 2:I think that and I, you know, I am very blessed. I've got a lot of mentors, um, and a lot of people that I connect to throughout the world and, um, a couple of. I feel very the same about this year and I've had a lot happen this year as well. Anyway, that's kind of made me had to put areas of my life on hold and redirect things. But you know, a couple of them have said, if you don't know where you're going, you're feeling confused, if nothing is making sense, if you're questioning things and you're actually right on time. And that was really reassuring for me because I think that we live in a culture and a society where we, you know, go, go, go, do, do, do, and we have to know and we plan everything down to the finite detail. And I think, when you give yourself permission to go, I actually don't know and I'm just going to enjoy it, like I'm going to be curious, I'm going to enjoy it and I think that's what spirituality does to me. I'm a very deep thinker, you know that. So I do a lot of my own personal work as well. In terms of my development, I'm constantly, I'm part of different groups and I'm always pushing myself and putting myself in different rooms, and I do have different mentors and I'm questioning, because that's why I love it so much, because it's it's allowed me to get to know myself on such a deep level.
Speaker 2:And I think, when you get to the place where you can go, I actually really like who I am because of the work you've done. And I can tell you, like you know, 10 years ago I did not like who I was, even though I've, you know, had a lot of spirituality growing up. This is why I love it so much when you give yourself permission to explore who you are, and it doesn't have to be deep and meaningful every single day. Like you know, I've told you some of the conversations I have with the universe and the things I say to them, but I think that's what's really cool about it, like giving yourself permission to spend some time with you and go another layer and find out something else and play, because that's what spirituality is to me.
Speaker 2:And you know I walked away from it for many years. You know, when I first met you, I didn't tell anyone at all I'd closed my business, I'd walked away. I was doing something else, because there's so much pressure in any industry. I think people think that spirituality is all love, and light and um. Unfortunately, I don't think it. I, you know, it's just not the way that I've experienced it.
Speaker 2:So when you can bring that joy back into what you're doing and personalize it and go well, if I'm going to be putting out this stuff to people in the world, then I have to make sure that I'm consciously doing the work every single day as well, regardless of what they want from me.
Speaker 1:I love that. So you said something about 2025 being, in astrology, a gateway year. Can you tell us what? What do you mean by that 2025 being a gateway year in astrology? What does that mean for the everyday, everyday gal like myself? It?
Speaker 2:just means, like with the planets, they have transits and so, for example, you know the sun goes around the. You know the sun takes a year. That's its orbit. You know like it's transit and we have a birthday every year and the moon does it every month. And you know Venus and Mars are like 18 months, two years, but something like Pluto moves around all the signs it takes 250 years.
Speaker 2:So at the end of last year Pluto changed signs for the first time in 20 years, and so that's a shift in energy, because when you go from one sign to the next, in terms of the astrological wheel they're quite significantly different, because you're either going from air or water or mutable to cardinal, just the way the energy moves and interacts and what their direction is.
Speaker 2:So to have the slower moving outer planets, like Neptune, a month ago moved into Aries and it hasn't been in Aries for 165 years. So we're playing with planets and energies that we feel here on Earth that are shifting into new areas that we have never experienced in our entire life. We have never experienced Pluto in Aquarius. We've never experienced Neptune in Aries. Uranus has been in Taurus for the last eight years and is about to go into Gemini, and it hasn't been there for 85 years, so more likely than not, we haven't experienced that either. So, and at the same time, saturn's changing signs and that takes 29 years and Jupiter is changing as well, so they're all shifting into these brand new energies that we have never experienced in our entire life.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And that just is like we don't even know what we're playing with here in terms of energetics, if that's your thing, you know, and you know I look at people's charts. So I look at my chart and what's happening and different things are activating different things in my chart. Compared to your chart, your chart's different to mine in some ways, so different planets are activating different parts of your chart. Your chart's different to mine in some ways, so different planets are activating different parts of your chart. But I can look at someone else's chart and it could be not a lot. You know what I mean on a personal basis, but collectively, and you can see what's happening in the world, like even with the weather patterns and politics and the way that we do banking and the way you AI and all this thing. It's if, if you followed what's happening in the astrological world, what's happening in the physical world, you just go like, seriously, what the fuck?
Speaker 1:like my husband blows my mind. That's what blows my mind, like when my husband was saying to me like about a month ago.
Speaker 2:He's like Tish, have you heard of blah blah? And I'm like no, and he goes. He's like a weather guy, like he travels the world weather, kind of following patterns, but he brings in astrology and he's saying something to do with some planet and all these floods, and he's been predicting it for the last what? 24 months. And it's actually happening because he's, you know, located like in the Earth's planes, to the longitude and the latitude, and blah, blah, blah, like it's a science-based thing. He's like do you know about this? And I'm like, yeah, he's talking about this, this and this. He's like, and he goes and he's like look at the chart. And he goes can you understand this chart?
Speaker 1:and I'm like, yes, he's like, oh, that's really cool because, just for context, guys, leticia's husband is not spiritual like we wouldn't describe him like he.
Speaker 1:He looks at Leticia and he's like you're crazy and I love you and it's the most beautiful thing ever. But I think if you don't understand like their dynamics, I mean he, like he's not not spiritual but he's not like you, like he's. You guys are so opposite, so it's it's interesting when you talk about him. I'm like I feel like we need context for opposite. So it's interesting. When you talk about him, I'm like I feel like we need context for Gerard.
Speaker 2:It's interesting because he's very grounded earth, practical. He's a tradie, he works with his hands. It's really interesting with my husband because he doesn't understand it all. He came from a very different background. We've been together 30 years so he's never asked me to change, like he just accepts you know what he is and it is. But he's really good sometimes because he'll say to me I really like astrology because it's factual, like it's based on something, like it does you know the moon and the tides and the seasons and the garden. Because he's from farming background, he goes I thought I get it, I understand it, um, and he said that makes me feel safe, rather than when you. He said even the cards are okay because I can see with the cards and you're reading the cards, he said, but when you just start saying stuff, he goes. It's pretty freaky.
Speaker 1:I mean, I do agree with him because sometimes you say stuff to me, you guys I'm not. Sometimes she says stuff to me. You have to get a reading from her, just whoever's. You just have to experience it for yourself, because there's no way in in hell I can explain to you how it feels. Like Dave, my partner you guys know Dave, me, dave, my partner, like everyone knows Dave. Um, he's purchased readings off of Letitia. He's got his whole chart done by Letitia, he like, and he listened to it. I think he said Tom, he listened to it two to three times Cause he was just so fucking mind blown by the things that she was saying. And that's me.
Speaker 1:I do card readings with Letitia, like I said, every single week she sends me my card reading, three cards and honestly, when she just goes full blown, intuitive mode, that's what I'm calling it, full blown, that's that's now what it's called, guys, that's, that's how we're, that's how we're talking about it. I'm like sometimes I wish you guys could see my face, like sometimes, when I'm listening to them, my face is just like what the actual fuck are you kidding me right now? Like it blows my mind and it's. It's slightly terrifying, but so fucking cool. So I get, I get his like how he feels about that. But with the astrology I think I feel the same as him. To be honest, like I think that seeing my chart and seeing how you explain the planets and where they move and all the different things, I I think it has allowed me to be like well, and this is my very basic thinking of it, but it's like like the moon impacts the tides, the planets impact it, and like how could it not? How could we be so naive to think, and that sounds so brutal, but how could we be so naive to think, and that sounds so brutal. But how could we be so naive to think that everything that's happening in space, with the planets and the moon and the energy that that brings to earth, doesn't impact us when we are energy? Humans are energy, the planet is energy. It is going to have an impact and for me, that has just intrigued me so much and it makes me want to know and understand more. That's why I always I'm like what's going on? What's going on, letitia? And like Letitia's been in group spaces of mine. I'm not even kidding. People message me when things are happening and they're like what did Letitia say about this? Like what's Letitia? Like, I'm just, I just want to know what Letitia's like.
Speaker 1:I think, seeing what you say about astrology for 2025 and then physically seeing what is happening in politics, with the weather, with, with just even just wars, like wars breaking out, just things that are just like you just look at the world at the moment and you're like what is happening, like it just feels so different, something feels so different about it, not only individually, but as a whole. It is quite cool to see that all of the planets are changing and all of this is happening in our real life and be able to make that connection, like, is that not the coolest thing ever Do you love? Like? Do you love that? Being able to be like? Ooh, I kind of felt this was going to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've said a few things to my family and stuff. Then things have happened like that and you know, come barging in do you want to?
Speaker 2:know what's happened now and I'm like what? And he's like I can't believe it, because you said this and you said that and I'm like, yeah, I think that's what's so cool about it and why I love it. And like I'm, you know, in my 50s now and literally have been growing up with kind of I call it magic with stuff all my life, and when I have those moments when I can see it playing out, you know, in the world and in the politics, I kind of look at it now and I find it more curious than anything else. I try not to get embroiled in the what is happening. I'm more about this will be really interesting how it actually plays out and people's reactions to it. I'm more curious about the collective reaction and response to things than anything else.
Speaker 2:But I think when something like that happens and you can actually see it playing out, I don't know, I still get goosebumps and shivers. Like I've always said, if I could bottle those moments of just knowingness or magic, it would be such a gift to be able to give that to other people and that's why I kind of do what I do, because purely like when you see someone have one of those moments like the, you know, connect the dots. I'm like you and like God, you know, and it just you can't pay for that. It's just so. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can pay for it, and you can pay Letitia.
Speaker 2:You can pay me.
Speaker 1:That's so funny.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm really really bad, but I'm just like, I just want everyone to know it and I do generally. But saying that, saying that I do feel like to get to those places, you have to be committed to doing the work. And when I talk about doing the work, as has been explained to me by one of my mentors, is that you are the work it is, you are the daily work. And I was reading something this morning I pick, I don't know probably a card I picked, or something like that. You know the universe will always meet you halfway so you can have dreams and wishes and you know, sprinkle fairy dust and all that that you want to do, all those things you know make. You know moon rituals and all that. But if you don't follow it up by doing the work, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:And so, therefore, when you go into I believe this is my, everything's my opinion and I truly believe that everyone should have their own opinion and do their own way when you commit to doing the work on a daily basis and it doesn't have to be you know, my little morning rituals, my little night time rituals, or the rituals bring into my every day. I try not to make it hard, like I'm a very uncomplicated person, but I really like easy things, like I don't like my day to be complicated Then I think that you benefit. Like you know, we were talking about your little ghost story and I'm like just sage, you know, just do a little cleansing ritual, it's not hard, I do it every single morning, every single morning, before I sit down and have a cup of coffee.
Speaker 1:Doesn't matter who is in my house and what they are doing, I do my little ritual that's what I love about you so unapologetically you well, now you are, I feel like obviously I've got to see.
Speaker 1:Even your growth in the last two and a half years has been absolutely insane to watch and just you, I don't know like coming back home to yourself, owning, owning your thoughts, owning who you are also just not putting pressure on yourself of who you need to be and how you need to appear has been such a cool thing for me to witness and such a gift to the world, because the more that you have come home to yourself, the more that you don't question yourself, you just simply let yourself be and kind of surrender to that.
Speaker 1:The more people that benefit from what you have to offer, because you're allowing yourself to see that you do have something really cool to offer people and you do help people, even in ways that you don't think that you help people, you do, and I think that that's been really cool to see Before we move on because, like we're going to be talking, letitia has her story, who she is mind blowing. Before we do that, I think to really solidify this for people around astrology, around what's happening in 2025, around all the different planets and things like that maybe you could even just give a brief kind of summary for me. I'm happy to be a little bit of a guinea pig because I know you kind of know my chart very well. She's all. Every time I do something, she's like I'm checking your chart just so you know, um, for 2025 and all of these changes and things like that. For me, specifically in astrology, how would you say that that's impacting?
Speaker 2:me, for you specifically, um, I think it's really activating particular areas of your chart, which is really interesting for me because you know a lot of it. Like we, we speak quite often, but then sometimes I will watch your stories on social media and what you're saying and read between the lines, as I do, and I will be like that is so interesting, like that is so interesting compared, like I can see. I know what's being activated within your chart, probably better than you you, because I know that you really resonate with your Aries fire, but I do also know that you're. You know there's other parts of your chart and I guess I focus on those parts of your chart more because I can see where they're coming in. And so, for you personally, with everything that is happening, I do feel like a new wave of energy is definitely coming in for you and that could potentially be overwhelming. I think there is going to be a lot of changes and I don't know how much you want me to say in certain aspects.
Speaker 1:You can say everything, I don't care, I'm an open book.
Speaker 2:I think what I know what's being activated in your house is your first house, your house of career and your house of what you put out into the world.
Speaker 2:Okay, all those are being activated, and so I think, with that also is like a disintegration of some other areas of your life and and I think there's confusion there and there's overwhelm, and so what I would be saying is embrace the energy, embrace the creativity and the, but what I would also say to you, little Gemini, rising Aries, fire is to be really discerning. So have the ideas and have the thoughts and have the brainstorms and have your safe spaces where you can kind of express it and do this and be curious and maybe put things on hold and park some things and, you know, shift some things. But then I would be very much not reacting. I wouldn't be reacting and doing and doing and putting it out there. What I would be doing is putting it in front of you and playing with it and being then, okay, if I'm going to move forward with some of these things, I'd do it in a more discerning, structured, slower way.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what you know. Saturn moving into Aries he slow away and I think that's what you know. Saturn moving into Aries he's not happy in Aries because Aries is ruled by Mars and Aries just wants to go balls to the walls and through throttle and wants to do it on their own and they want to succeed and all those things. And Saturn moves really fucking slow and so there's going to be a restriction there, and so you can either go I'm being blocked, I'm being restricted, I'm being held back this is so fucking frustrating and all those kind of things or you can say I'm just going to slow down with the energy and work with it and be more diligent with it at the same time, not kind of like you don't want to put the fire out, and also, with your Gemini, you don't want to. You know Gemini's duality and it's a very interesting energy, but, um, you want to have all that. But I think if you work with Saturn really well, someone with your chart Saturn can be your container.
Speaker 1:I think it's so. It's like sometimes I get speechless when I hear anything back about myself. I'm like, oh, it's so interesting. There's obviously so many things. I'm navigating decisions, I'm making things and I'm dealing with even just this, like back injury that's not allowing me to do so many things, and I'm just kind of like and it's frustrating me, like it's it's really frustrating me with my back being injured of just like having to slow down, not being able to set new goals. Do new things be like on the go, go, go, go, go, go. And it's so interesting that it's like, yeah, because you do need to fucking slow down for once in your life before. I am like literally obsessed with that. But I think if someone's listening to this and they're very new to astrology and people obviously listen to this they know me or they follow me on social media I would love for you, letitia, based on my astrology, based on all that you're saying, like rising and Aries and all the things describe me based on my astrology. So use my astrology to describe me. You are.
Speaker 2:You've got a lot of Aries. So that's Aries is very independent, so there's a lot of drive for Aries. Okay, because they're cardinal fire. The cardinal signs are the. You know they're initiators. They come, aries comes up with the ideas I'm going to do this, and then they just go and do it. They don't necessarily go and tell everyone what they're doing, they just go and I'll do it, and they go off and do it, and then, you know, before you know, someone say, with Taurus, energy would be just right, you know, planning it, aries have finished it and gone on to the next thing, and so I guess, with a lot of Aries energy, the polarity of that is Libra and that is about partnerships. So that is about understanding that you don't have to do everything on your own. That collaboration is really important as well.
Speaker 2:Aries is really good for Libra, though, because Aries reminds Libra of the importance of I in we, and I think, with astrology, you're always wanting to balance the two halves of yourself, um, but you're a Gemini rising and that is ruled by Mercury, so you're curious and there's a duality there, like they're the twins, and the twins are very different, but they're the same right and they're social and they want to know everything. But Gemini rising people are very much about the here and the now yes, I want to go skydiving. Oh, yes, I want to go for a coffee, kind of thing and they don't really then think about how that affects their long-term goals. I'm basically a toddler. They are because Aries is the child of the zodiac, you know, because they have no fear. They have no fear, they have no conditioning. It's like I can jump off roofs why not, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And then when you get to Gemini, it's kind of representative of the child that's just gone to primary school and so they're learning. They're actually meeting people for the first time, you know, besides mother, and they're going out and they're curious. But it's all about me here, now, my community. They don't necessarily think long-term, long-term goals, long-term plans. So they might do a lot but sometimes don't feel like they're getting very far because they're wasting all the time and energy doing this and this and this I see what I mean.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you're just like shit, like I might be really cold the the thing is like.
Speaker 2:So you're all this aries fire, but you're the ruler of aries, is mars, and your mars is in cancer. That's another interesting dynamic, because the ruler of all your aries energy is in a sign that he feels very uncomfortable in, and so Mars in Cancer is in water and he Cancer is kind of like non-confrontational Cancer, needs love, wants love, wants to love, is the nurturer, is the mother, is the healer, but he's incredibly sensitive and so can get quite hurt, and very intuitive and in tune with other people, but can often feel misunderstood, and so there's a difference there. You know, with that vibration changes. It softens that Aries because that Aries in Cancer really cares.
Speaker 1:And see how you can tell a different story. Okay, this is amazing. I could talk to you for so long about astrology, because I think, like I think what you've just demonstrated is astrology it is a collective, but it's also so complexly individual, and everyone's chart is different and everyone is experiencing different things, and that's why I think it's so important Like I'm so grateful that I have you to tell me what's going on in my chart. I find it so intriguing and interesting and fascinating, and knowing that mine is so different to yours and like I just think that's so cool, it's so unique to us, so I really do love it. However, I'm gonna chat, we're gonna change it up a little bit, we're gonna change direction, which obviously is so me, when I'm talking to Dave, sometimes I have to be like, okay, changing topic, because I'm like I'm done with that conversation now and he's like, okay, we're moving on. I'm like, yeah, just don't worry about that anymore. I want to chat about you, latisha, not about astrology, not about me. And I'm just going to say why I wanted to talk about it. Because I told you at the beginning, I've obviously had the pleasure of working with Latisha for a very long time and I'm incredibly grateful with what Latisha has shared with me, and that's her, that's her thing to share, and she can share as much as she wants or as little as she wants.
Speaker 1:But I've had the pleasure of listening to things that she hasn't shared with other people before and just being in absolute awe of the way that she thinks about her own experiences. And obviously I love mindset we know this, this is my thing and getting to witness Letitia's mindset around her own trauma or tragedies in her life and the way that she thinks about them and the way that she's navigated them. And obviously not always, always. Obviously she's been through the shit and made mistakes, like every other human being, but where she is right now, the way that she thinks about things, is truly, truly amazing. So, letitia, what do you feel kind of comfortable sharing about you, your story, what has shaped you?
Speaker 2:look, I'm pretty much an open book. There are sort of, obviously, situations and minute details that I'm not willing to share, but, as in the overview of my story, I'm pretty open. I'm open because I'm open, because I think that I'm getting to a stage where I need to be open, because I've navigated so much in my life and there's still so much that I am navigating and I think there's a lot of things that people don't talk about and there's a lot I am navigating and I think there's a lot of things that people don't talk about and there's a lot of stigma against, and I think that's why a lot of people hide away and don't tell their story or, you know, don't feel good about themselves and things like that. And while I didn't think that my past and my background is who I am, I certainly do feel like there've been experiences that I've had that have taught me so much and have allowed me to be me, have allowed me, as I said this, you know, this whole process of taking off the layers of what happened to me, to allow myself to just be me and just be good with being me.
Speaker 2:And there have been times in my life where I just didn't never thought that I'd get to this place. I just thought it was so out of my reach, this, this piece, that I've been able to get within me. And that doesn't mean that life still isn't a shit show sometimes, because it is. It's the world that we live in. But I don't think you can, I can't say what hasn't happened to me hasn't affected my life and my mindset, the way that I carry myself in life.
Speaker 1:So yeah, a hundred percent. Do you want to share bits of your story with us?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's fine. Do you just want me to talk?
Speaker 1:yeah, go for it, just talk. You can start with teenage. Letitia, you've obviously been through a lot with like disordered eating, mental health or, on your part, you have also lost your, your mum. That you've had to navigate. You've experienced lots of like hardships like that in your life. Would you be happy to talk about those sorts of things?
Speaker 2:My family was born in the UK and so we immigrated out here. So basically it was just the four of us and mum and dad actually they, you know they separated when I was six and so it was just like you know, for many years was my mum, my sister and myself Dad, you know, obviously I'm very close with my dad in many ways still, but it was just us. Mum was a single mum. She was a hard worker, she was had always had amazing jobs, she was just a force of nature, but she was an alcoholic and she was an addict and it was the reason that my parents separated and it just carried on with everything with her life and she was able to maintain, you know, know, for many years the good jobs and the social aspect with the drinking, but it got to the stage where she was just not a functioning alcoholic. And you know, there was a lot of other drugs as well, like prescribed medications, and she was just the most amazing, amazing person that I think you know. Anyone that met her would say she just made an impact and that was just. That was just her personality. She was just high or low and but when she drank or, you know, took all the other stuff, she was just completely a different person and a very toxic, toxic person. And now, you know, looking at that now as an adult and all the work that I've done, I can very much see that she just had, and I knew that at the time. I've always had this amazing awareness of what is going on with other people, and particularly with mum. You know, I would definitely say that she was my soulmate in so many ways. We had a very complicated relationship where there was so much love there and sometimes too much love, but at the same time there was a lot of um damage that was done because of her behavior. And then she, yeah, she met my stepfather when I was 10 and I would say that my life just changed dramatically after that time.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, by the time I was in my teens, there was just a lot of violence. There was a lot of boundaries that were overstepped physical, mental, emotional, every kind of toxic abuse that you could ever imagine was going on in my house, and most of the time I would just lock myself in my room, but there were times where I couldn't. Mum God bless her when she was in one of her rages or states was just not a very great, you know, just wasn't. She was consumed about herself rather than what was going on, I guess, in the environment. But mum introduced me to spirituality Like I was environment. But, um, mom introduced, mom introduced me to spirituality like I was in my, like I was eight, ten, you know I grew up with tarot cards, she would. She had psychic friends and was part of circles and groups that you know are coming into popularity today. Like I was doing this stuff 40 years ago, um had my first readings and healings when I was like, hey, they should come to our house and we had house clearings and things like that. They taught me all that stuff. So I grew up with it. So there was this like magical element there.
Speaker 2:But certainly, as the years progressed, the woman, she was just disappeared and to watch that happening around you is awful and to see that being done to someone as well, like their life force being drained, certainly has an impact and obviously in my case I've felt very, very unsafe and unsure and so I just started playing around with my body and with food and restriction and exercise and it was insane because I was popular, I had a lot of friends, I went to an exclusive private school, lived in a very nice area in a very nice house with, you know, parents that had very good jobs, and I was going home every night to, like I didn't even know what I was coming home to every night and, um, it was just, you play a role and I think that the not eating and stopping and it was something that I could control and no one stopped me. Like no one stopped me. I went from a very lively, healthy, attractive, beautiful young girl to I won't even tell you, to very dangerous levels and no one stopped me. And I guess that's the biggest impact, not the trauma and all the things that happened to me and all the things that I saw and experienced and that was said to me and could go on forever about all those things. It wasn't even that that, I think, caused the damage. I think it was the no one did anything. No one did anything. So I learned very early on that no one was ever going to come and save me.
Speaker 2:And when it did all come out about the eating disorder because my school got involved, um, and then it all came out and then it became my thing, like I then got a label. You know that I was the problem, that I was doing this thing. I was causing the shame for everyone. I was told I was a naughty girl. How dare you do this to us? What are people going to think about us? And that was the thing. What are people going to think about us? Are they going to start asking questions? So I never got the help.
Speaker 2:You know, I got taken to a doctor and you know, back then there was no support for eating disorders and it was just seen as a cry for attention, which in many ways it probably was. But you know, no child does that to themselves for no reason. But no one asked. So I was just threatened with some horrible things and told I was some terrible things. And then, you know, the whole family got involved and it became a drama, because drama is, you know, something that was involved in my family and I just was like like well, this isn't working. I remember having that thought was like well, this is kind of fucked, isn't it?
Speaker 1:I love this. I'm like, literally, I honestly my heart just then. It's so. It's so interesting to me how I know, I know your like, I know your story, I know it more in depth than this and you know that I, I like genuinely just adore you as a person and hearing you say it again made me feel really sad just then, like fully, like I just had I just I felt really sad. You're like, I bought tissues just in case and I'm like shit, maybe I should have bought tissues because, like just to be that young girl and obviously I know the woman that you are now and the strength that you have now and how you view things now. But I don't listening to you say that a part of me was just thinking about you then and the version of you then that did have nobody and so desperately wanted somebody to notice or care or do something and and yeah, it's just it's it's quite sad to to think about.
Speaker 2:It's really hard for me to say it as well, because it's not like I didn't have people in my life and I didn't have love in my life. I did okay, so I did. There's definitely, you know, people and this is where I kind of get, you know, tormented about speaking about this stuff, because I certainly don't want to hurt people that I know did love me, but they just didn't do anything. And I think that's the hardest thing and that's what I'm so passionate about. And certainly when I had children, it was like felt very unseen and very not unimportant, but I well, I didn't, I didn't feel like I was anyone's priority, like everyone else. There was always something else that was obviously, you know, people don't want to disrupt their little perfect lives, you know, by getting involved in trauma. And I think the hardest thing post that, because there was certainly some events that happened in my house that people saw and heard, like you know, neighbors or, and I'd lived, we lived in the same area and things like that but no one did anything. And then, like the years later, you kind of you know people come up to you and say, oh yeah, I kind of you know, we were all worried about you and blah, blah, blah, and it's like, well, why didn't you fucking say anything? You know, why didn't you even come up to me and say, are you okay? Or like even other family members? And I know they did what they could.
Speaker 2:And I do genuinely, genuinely believe that really really good people make really bad decisions or don't make the decisions they choose because it's too hard and you certainly don't want to think that someone that you are loving, that you are meant to be responsible for, is experiencing all these horrible things behind closed doors. And I'm a very good actress, I'm very good at putting all the stuff behind me and just showing up. Um, and I think that I learned that early on as well. You know that you just there was a lot of shame involved, I think as well, but I, when I think about it, I get quite um, I get really sad too. I get. I was shaking when I was telling you about it because it is a really, it was a really frightening time for me and it was like it wasn't just like for five minutes, it was like for a very long time until I left, and then, once I left home and I left home quite early I just went wild, like I just yeah, hated myself.
Speaker 2:I was just really unhealthy, and I did a lot of unhealthy things to myself that I take full accountability for, and that's a lot of the stuff that I did that happened after that that I did to myself, I think, is where a lot of my torment has actually come from.
Speaker 1:I think it can be harder to look at the stuff that we do to ourselves and to look at what other people have done to us.
Speaker 1:When other people cause their pain not that it's easy, and not that it's okay or any of those different things, but I just think it becomes hard when we, when we be deeply honest with ourselves and realize that there are things that we did and decisions that we made that either hurt us or hurt other people, and I think that that's, I think that is honestly the hardest thing. I think that's the hardest part when it comes to like healing if we say healing journey or whatever I truly do believe that that that's often more challenging.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do as well, Cause you were so down on ourselves. We're so hard on ourselves and, as I said, I've had a lot of beautiful people that have come into my life at the right time and I have been incredibly blessed with the amount of people that have entered my life that have been highly spiritual, that have spent time with me, and even when it was happening, like I reflect back on periods and things that have said to me and shown to me and books that were given to me, and I'm like where the hell did those people come from? And at the time I didn't even appreciate it. I was like what? Like I was introduced to the Kabbalah in my early 20s by someone and I had no idea, like I had no idea how much in 20 years after that, how that would like reshape and reform my life and you know, the journey with spirit has been there, like they were were. The only reason I'm still here really is because I just had this knowingness that I don't know. As you know, I just always am able to look at an experience or go. This is just an experience. This isn't who I am, this is an experience. So, even while that was all happening to me when I was little and all these things, that I've people's reactions to it and stuff like that. As the years have gone by, I just I'm able to separate myself from it and I, there was.
Speaker 2:I really decided very, very early and I think, when I had that, well, this isn't fucking working, this isn't the reaction, um, it was like I've got to do this myself, I can't do it for anyone else. As I said, no one's going to come and save me. But I also decided that I, you know very early on that they were that situation and they were not going to break me or destroy me or destroy my joy. Um, because I mean, that's the thing I've always laughed, I've always seen the irony and laugh. I've always had a that me and mum would always, you know, have like tears of laughter. There's always been a lot of that.
Speaker 2:My life was not all that. I've had some amazing people in my life, but I had some pretty hectic experiences and I ended up losing mum when I was 30. She took her own life and you never recover from that at all. But I was incredibly blessed. Incredibly blessed that we had sorted a lot of our stuff out and we had a very different relationship at that stage and some of the things that she said to me in the months before she did that I don't know if they were conscious or unconscious they've given me a lot of peace, which I think, and I was never angry at her, because I saw her life, I lived her life with her. I saw her life, I lived her life with her. I um, I just feel very sad that people get to that place and I understand that place, I've been in that place and, um, you just gotta hope that you can lift yourself out of it.
Speaker 1:You know that you talk and that you have some something to hold on to for you as, like this being your mother, you're still her child, you're 30, but you are her child. What that felt like for you to lose someone in that way, the thoughts that you had, how you have helped yourself move through that.
Speaker 2:Think that you're always gonna go. Could I have done something like? There was, you know, a message on my phone and I remember getting, seeing that message going, oh my god, and listening to it and going. Did I ring her back? Did I ring her back? And I I know, I know I'd spoken to her and things, but your mind starts playing all these tricks on yourself.
Speaker 2:I guess because of the way that that wasn't her first attempt and she had a lot of mental health and where she was in her life, I guess it wasn't totally unexpected and there's a whole other situation that I'm not going to talk around about that, because she was still with my stepfather and it was a very toxic, toxic relationship. But I feel like there's just an emptiness, because to me it's about I just feel very, very sad that she got to that point, that she felt that there was no other way and that kills me. It kills me that someone gets to that place where they're just like they, they don't think that they matter enough to be here, and also that the pain is just so incredibly bad and overwhelming that they just have to. I don't know, I just don't want to glorify it either. You know what I mean, because it's just I'm, you know, 20-odd years post that situation happening and it can still. I still sob about it, the regret, and I think I always remember thinking and I didn't have my children then that they will never know her, she will never see me as a mother, and that's awful, that's heartbreaking, because they just have a concept of her and unfortunately they have a concept of her that includes my trauma and you know the addictions and things like that and the mental health and I've been very open with them about it because you know mental health is genetic right and it's passed down and I obviously have issues.
Speaker 2:I have an eating disorder. I can't say that I had an eating disorder in my teens and I got over it and said, fuck the world, I'm going to just be a normal human being. It didn't work out that way for me. I carried that eating disorder and I will still say that I carry that eating disorder with me until this day. I that eating disorder and I will still say that I carry that eating disorder with me until this day. I didn't get the help, I didn't get the support. It became my safe place. I obviously have a very addictive. I don't. Obviously I have a very addictive personality, I fixate on things and she chose drugs and alcohol. I could have done that as well, for sure I chose something else. It's still destructive. You're still hurting yourself and I, you know, carried it and I fell back into it again in my early 40s.
Speaker 2:I do with mum, though I kind of got we did the whole, you know funeral and I got on with my life and I had a very high stressful job and they were like let's just get on with it, tish, and pushed me back out into the world and I seriously wasn't ready and six months after mum passed I had a full-on breakdown and um, and I wouldn't leave the house and again, very lucky, I got straight into a doctor. I, you know, rang up counselling service. I got ground group group coun. I, you know, rang up counselling service. I got group counselling, I got one-on-one counselling and you have to do it and that's just wasn't my thing. I didn't want to do it. But you know, don't carry that burden on your own. I'm very much a big advocate for mindset work, for psychology counselling, whatever. You need to not carry this stuff with you and keep on causing the trauma to keep on coming in your life.
Speaker 1:I know this is so like. I know it's hard for you to talk about and I know you said you don't want to glorify it, but I think we've talked about this. We literally spoke about it a couple of days ago over voice messages. Like Letitia and I have very deep conversations about things something that could happen to the public with the, the AFL players who took their life and we had a conversation about it because I knew it would bring up a lot for you, understandably, and I think that it's important to have these conversations.
Speaker 1:I don't I don't think it's about glorifying. I think it's about having an understanding, because a lot of the time, I think, when people take their life, there can be a lot anger, which is you're going to feel whatever emotions you feel, and you're going to probably feel the full range of them over and over again at different times in different stages, when you think about that happening. But I think there does need to be that level of understanding where it's like that person who has made that choice hasn't done it to hurt anybody else. They actually have, they almost think in their, their mind they're actually doing other people a favor by, they feel like a burden to the people around them, and I think that that's actually something that we have to talk about, because if we don't talk about it, we don't open up a conversation of what it feels like to be a burden. And when you have mental health issues whatever we want to call it when you are struggling, I think feeling like a burden is a very common feeling.
Speaker 2:Oh for sure, and yeah for sure. And I think that that is and I think some people think that about other people with mental health problems. You know, and that's unfortunate because it's hard, as I said, you know, with me growing up and my issues and with the eating disorder, and you know I fell back into it again in my 40s. Again no one said anything to me, um, until my husband did, and but he didn't even notice at the beginning. Because you're very manipulative, you're very clever, you know very clever at making people think what you think and hiding things and stuff like that we chose. My husband is an alcoholic and hasn't had a drink in 20-odd years and that's his thing. So I guess Letitia went from an alcoholic household to marrying an alcoholic.
Speaker 1:But that's what you do. This is what I mean. Like, sometimes you say the most unhinged shit and then you're just like ha ha, ha ha, but also, yeah, it's a nerd yeah, you've got to be like I always.
Speaker 2:I remember mum said to me are you sure? It's like yeah, don't worry about it, I can always get divorced here. I am like 30 years old. I said that to her. She's like, yeah. But he hit rock bottom and he had to then make that choice to go to AA and get help himself. I couldn't do it for him. I had the choice whether I stayed and left and you know, we'd come to a kind of like pinnacle of that. So we've both got. He's unfortunately also experienced suicide with one of his brothers in his life. So we have this kind of like common thread and understanding and it was either going to be a shit show or we were just going to support each other and and we do we come in and out and um of each other's, you know, with the mental health and things like that, and we bring our children into the world and they we say we're going to do it differently.
Speaker 2:Our children have never experienced alcohol, violence, anything like that. We are not perfect. We are quite unhinged, we are very expressive and all the things. But my children were certainly going to have a voice and they were certainly going to be seen, they were certainly going to be heard and they were going to be treated and respected as human beings. And I got backlash about that from a few people that you know you're not disciplined enough and this and that, but they're the most amazing human beings I've ever met in my entire life and everyone says that. So there you go.
Speaker 2:But my daughter has incredibly severe mental health issues and has from a very early age, was very apparent from a very early age and luckily we I, you know we I picked it up and but my husband was very resistant. He was like no, she's normal, this and that, and because he wanted her to be, he wanted her to be a really healthy, he adores her. And to watch your child go through it is different to watch a parent go through it. He will say now, thank god you got on it. He said like you were like a dog with a bone, you know, particularly during COVID when she fell. Or to go through. It is different to watch a parent go through it. He will say now, thank God you got on it. He said, like you were like a dog with a bone. You know, particularly during COVID, when she fell into a really, really heavy depression, there was no help, there was none.
Speaker 2:I remember going to the council offices, the local council offices, and just banging on their doors. They wouldn't let me in because of fucking COVID. They told me to ring Lifeline. I'm like now you've got a child that's saying to you I don't want to be here anymore. And that's people can. People are like, well, she's got nothing to worry about. She's got this beautiful little wife. You can't. If it's a mental can't. If it's a mental health thing, it's a mental health thing. She sits there and in her room and, you know, just cries and cries and cries and the sadness is real, the pain is real that I can't do this anymore, mum is real. The burden, as you said, that they feel, that they the impact that they're having on others. It kills them. She hates that. She hates what she does to me.
Speaker 1:I can imagine it would be very triggering for you with what you've experienced with your mum as well, like it would be bringing up a lot for you yeah, and that was, and she knew that, which was really hard because we're very close, and she knew how heavily that impacted me.
Speaker 2:And and then so she knew her saying those things to me and feeling these things that I was like living my life again and I felt those thoughts of hers as well and she knew that as well. So she knew that she was reflecting back to me things that I'd experienced in my life and the dark places that I go and the sadness that I feel and the way I lost my mum. And then she was thinking that I go and the sadness that I feel and the way I lost my mum. And then she was thinking that and it was just yeah, I had to feel I've had to relive my trauma through that. And then she fell into an eating disorder and then I had to relive all my trauma with that, because we were having fortnightly appointments with psychologists and dietitians and GPs and she had two psychologists like, seriously, I just was like I'm not letting you go, I'm not giving up on you, and she wasn't willing to give up on you know, she did all the hard work. I just held her.
Speaker 1:It was nothing to do with me. Oh, mate, like when you were talking to me about this, I was honestly just in awe of your strength to be able to be bringing up all of these things that are brought up for you, but doing the absolute most to support her and guide her and be there for her and organize everything and take her to everything. Like when you were doing that. I honestly and I remember us having this conversation of just like not that anyone should go through any hurt or pain or experience anything that you have experienced, but almost thank God that you did because you were the best and safest person for her, not only because you were her mum, but because you understood. You understood what she was feeling and how hard it would have been for her and you were the safest space for her, not just because you were her mum, but because you truly understand it. And I think sometimes I don't know, sometimes having that perspective of just like, of course it, sometimes I don't know, sometimes having that perspective of just like.
Speaker 2:Of course, it's shit to have gone through everything that you did, but because you did, you were the best person for her. Yeah, and you know, a lot of people said that to me as well and and I am, and I am I do think that we experience things and situations in life to help us later in life like I do, like, like, but also it was very healing for me. So it's not just like everyone can say, oh, you were amazing and you put your life on hold, you did this and you did that, and blah, blah, blah, and I'll be like, yeah, that, no, I didn't. Actually, I'm her mum and that's what you're meant to do. I just fucking love that child and she's amazing and she's so accountable, so self-aware, so accountable. Yes, we have that relationship. Yes, I've brought her up like that. I'm not taking any credit away from the work that Gerard and I have done, but also I think it happened at a time for me as well. So, again, if you looked at my astrology chart and what was going on, I am incredibly grateful.
Speaker 2:It was incredibly painful, incredibly painful not just for her and watching your child go through that and watching her navigate her mental health and stuff now.
Speaker 2:But it was incredibly painful for me.
Speaker 2:I had to relive all of my trauma again and the why and even things that I'd forgotten and hadn't really wanted to acknowledge and touch on. I had to go through it all again, but it was such a gift I truly do believe, like, even though you know I fell back into my anorexia it'd be like 11 years ago now the second most severe episode. I ended up getting retrenched, didn't work, um, and all the things but I and and then I did a lot of work and I did a lot of healing and that's when I you know the kabbalah and astrology really came to the forefront. You know before that I was just doing the cards and things like that, but I do feel like that what I've experienced with Molly over the last maybe three years you know, five years, yeah, maybe, but even the last intense two and a half three years has really elevated my healing and my sense of peace and my sense of worth, and so that is a gift in itself and that was a shit gift, and you know thanks.
Speaker 1:Could have been better.
Speaker 2:Thanks, and you know sometimes I do and I've told you this, I sometimes go like what the fuck like? What the fuck like? Can we do this another way?
Speaker 1:like seriously Like excuse me, universe, actually I would just like an actual gift. You know, I wouldn't mind something that I could just actually enjoy. Can I just read a book about it? Why do I have to experience it, For fuck's sake?
Speaker 2:Where is it? You know, yeah, I do. I do feel like this year. Last year was a shit show, but I reflect on last year and everything that Nolly and I navigated our family navigated the last few years and go like, seriously, what the fuck Was awful in many ways, but it was so incredibly beautiful in so many other ways and you've got to focus on the beautiful things. You've got to focus on the.
Speaker 2:This is just part of my journey. This isn't forever. It doesn't define who I am. I am not a bad person. That is not happening to me. This is not because I did those things back then. It's nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2:These are just experiences that I need, that our family need to heal, to bring some different form of generational healing into our home, to teach our children something else that they hopefully pass on to their children, and we just keep on getting it better and better and better, and that's a gift and that's how I view my life. Like when you know, really challenging things happen that bring me to that really sad, dark place that I still go to. I don't sit in that dark, sad place anymore, thinking I'll never get out. I just sit there and I allow myself to experience it because it's teaching me something and it's okay to feel those things. It's, it's.
Speaker 2:I think that it's the suppression of them and the shame of them that make people then check out, you know, and decide that they don't want to be here. But if you can allow yourself to experience all those feelings and know there's nothing wrong with you and there's no shame within it, then I think that you then allow yourself to evolve. Just don't stay there and you get that choice every single day. Just to see you know, focus on the growth. Sit down.
Speaker 1:You are an insanely incredible human being. Like. Thank you so, so, so, so, so much for sharing. I know so much I know that that is hard for you to do like it took like a year for Letitia to tell me one of those stories like and here you guys are just getting it straight away, excuse me, but it took like, honestly, and she told me she was just like dripping these like bombs on me every now and then I was like, excuse me, what? Excuse me, like what she has been. And this is not even all like this is not even all of it. There is so much more.
Speaker 1:That little snippet just then, of how you choose to view what has happened to you, what you have been through, what you have navigated, every challenge, every hardship, every trauma. How you choose to view it is why you are the person you are today. You're not the person you are today because of the things that you went through. You're the person you are today because of how you choose to view it and how you choose to live and how you choose to think about and that is a choice. What happened to you isn't a choice. You had no say in that, but you chose to view it the way that you did. You chose to do the work, you chose to get to know yourself, you chose to learn how to have so much compassion for yourself, and none of that was easy. It was actually very, very hard, and I think that that is like the most incredible thing for people to see that, no matter what you have gone through and how hard it felt, you get to choose the way in which you view it and the way in which you choose to move forward and how you do. That is the most incredible thing and I'm just very grateful for you for sharing that. And also it's so funny because I say this to her all the time like I'm her business mentor and, honestly, I learned so much from her, like she inspires me, she empowers me, she makes me think differently, she challenges my perspective, she makes me view my life differently, and I always say that to her, that I'm very grateful for her to have her in my life and I'm like I think you came to me for a reason. Sometimes she tells me shit, you guys, I'm not even kidding. She'll be like explaining things to me that have happened in her life and it's like almost this is so weird, but it's like I'm living Letitia's life 20 years behind her. Like it's like I'm like to see how she navigates things and thinks about things is truly inspiring to me.
Speaker 1:I wanted to do one last thing in this episode together because I feel like it makes sense. Leticia is brilliant with her cards she oracle cards, beautiful tarot cards and I asked her at the end of this episode would she be happy to pull a card for us as the podcast, as a collective? I think it would be. I think it would be better not to just do it for me, but to do it as a collective reading. Pull a card, let's do it. She's getting her deck ready. I'm like I would love to do a card pull at the end of this deck if you want to have one close by. And she's like was that a fucking joke? I have like 20 right next to me. Like she's like.
Speaker 2:Really to me, like she's like really, I would have more than 20 right next to me, my husband's we're building a new room in our house just so I can get everything out. He's um, he's very funny, he um, because he goes to AA and um, he's like, oh, people ask me questions about you all the time. He said they're really curious, but they're really unsure. And and I said, yeah, that's a sad thing, you know, I think there's a lot of curious people out there, but they're very unsure about it, though you know they have a beautiful form of spirituality. You know, and I think that's the thing you know, everyone puts labels on it. You don't put a label on it, just you do you.
Speaker 2:But I do have a lot of cards and I have a lot of cards and I started with the cards and I started with the tarot. I've fallen back in love with the tarot this year, but this is this is a special deck. This is my fairy deck and I worked exclusively with this deck personally for a year to get to know it and we are very good friends now. So I am picking a card for the collective. I'm excited. Oh no, it's not a good card, oh no I love you.
Speaker 1:You're like oh no, it's not love and light, oh god yeah, no, I.
Speaker 2:This is why I like this deck, because there's darker cards in it, because and that's we know the the tarot is the tarot, and some of the oracle decks are very light, but I like ones that have a little bit of a contrast, and so it's not a bad card. It is the card of the Oracle. Decks are very light, but I like ones that have a little bit of a contrast, and so it's not a bad card. It is the card of the trickster, though, which is a card of deceit, but what this card is actually saying at its very, very core is to make sure that you're being true to yourself.
Speaker 2:So don't get taken along for the ride, because a lot of tricksters are very good with their words, they're very good at pulling you in, they're very good at convincing you that their way is the best way or that their idea is going to elevate you, and all those kinds of things, and what this card is saying is sometimes it can all sound beautiful and the grass is always greener, but make sure that anything that you're doing or considering or saying yes to adheres to your value systems and isn't going to take away from who you are and take you off path.
Speaker 2:So really, it's just saying remember who you are and even if your ideas are different to everyone else's and the way that you want to go is different to what the people's perception of you is around you know, I think you should do this because this is the best way. You're really good at this and you're like well, I want to do this, and they're like you're fucking stupid kind of thing and it's like no, I know me, I know me, and so don't get caught up in the words of others or the collective. We read the news, we read the newspapers. The media are very good at telling us what we should think you do. You is basically what it's saying.
Speaker 1:I love that card.
Speaker 1:It feels quite similar to a card that I had I think I listened to a reading of mine yesterday.
Speaker 1:It feels quite similar to a card that you did for me yesterday Not the same, yeah, but that's interesting for me to listen to that again today of just like doing what you want to do for you.
Speaker 1:Bring it back to you, because I think it is so easy to get unconsciously caught up in needing or seeking validation from people outside of yourself, even if it's not a specific person, even if you can't name like I want this person to be proud of me or I don't want this person to be disappointed in me, even if it's not a specific person. Sometimes they can just be this unconscious, like I need to prove myself or I need to show that I'm worthy, or I need to show that I'm capable, and we will make decisions in our life based on that, on needing to appear a certain way, on needing to be something, on needing to appear that you have your life figured out or sorted, and you'll make decisions based off of that. And I think that that's just a big reminder of just checking in with where you do that consciously, unconsciously, for a specific person or just for society.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I do that all the time. I think you know, I think when you have experienced a lot of trauma or situations in your life where you've literally had, you know, your personal sovereignty taken away from you or you know your choices take away from you I think a lot of I know with personally a lot of the times that I'm actually trying to prove something to that situation, because you carry the shame and the guilt of it that because this happened to me, I'm not a good person. So if I succeed and I'm perfect and I've driven and do all the things, then I will prove to my past version that I'm still okay, that I'm still pure, that I'm still innocent, that I'm still a worthy human being.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's such a valid point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're playing against yourself rather than anyone else. Yes and I think the acknowledgement of that, that I'm trying to prove something to, or even to that, to them, them. You know, I don't have to prove anything.
Speaker 1:I do that too, though Like I'm doing it now. I'm like sitting with big decisions now that Letitia knows about, so she's probably like laughing because I tell her. I tell her most things. I'm doing that now and having to check in with myself in a big way especially. And then you add social media and I've obviously been showing up on social media for six years and I have. I was 25 or 26 when I started showing up on social media and I'm 32 now.
Speaker 1:Like the growth that you have as a person, an individual, in that amount of time, especially when you're someone who commits to actually growth and understand yourself, is insane. But then to change and shift as a person online in front of people, I think that that adds challenges. I think it adds challenges and I think that I, this year specifically, have had to really work on really asking myself am I performing, not just for social media, for life? Am I performing? Am I trying to appear a certain way, be a certain way? And I think it's harder when you yourself are quite a complex person.
Speaker 1:I feel that I'm a complex person. I feel like I have so many aspects to me of like sassy and opinionated and fiery, but then super empathetic and sensitive and get sad really easily. And then I changed my mind a lot. But I'm driven and ambitious, but I get bored, like there's so many, so many contradicting aspects to me that I have almost like made myself wrong. And then, if I can kind of be on this path and I can show people that I'm like, I'm responsible, I'm an adult, I'm someone to be proud of like, and you have to make sure, like you have to and this is me to me you have to check in with yourself of where you're living your life, to show either yourself something or prove to yourself you're not this version of yourself, that you know that you are, or you're afraid of disappointing people around you and yeah and yeah, and I for me, astrology, the kabbalah, particularly my journey with the kabbalah and all that kind of thing I get.
Speaker 2:As I said to you, you know, when you said, oh, I'm just fixing my mic, whatever, I'm like, don't worry, I'm just looking at the astrology chart. And then I look at my astrology chart and I just check in with myself and I think that's where and like you get cards, you know, okay, I'm going to check in with myself because why am I doing this and where is this reaction coming from? Am I doing that thing again? And I think, if we can go, yeah, I'm doing that thing again.
Speaker 2:you know, and there's no shame or judgment against that thing, I'm just doing that thing because that's my thing. And even though it isn't a great thing or it's a bad attitude or you know, a shadow or the unconscious, the more that you're aware of it doesn't mean you're not going to do that thing. It just means that the more you're aware of it, I think, the more you slow it down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love this. Thank you so much. My love for joining me, I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 1:I feel like no surprise to me we went to so many different places, but we needed to. I think at the end of the show notes everybody as well. Just for context show notes, I'm going to put any like mental health lines, that you can call all the different things, because we've talked about some very sensitive topics and if you need to talk to anybody, there is access to that. And also myself, like, if you listen to this, you obviously are a follower of mine and if you feel any type of thing that you feel that you need to talk about, please know that my messages are always, always open and there is always someone, someone that will be there to support you. I think it's important. But thank you, leticia, you are such a magical, magical human being and getting to hear your story, I just don't. I never, I never, take it for granted. I just think it's so cool to learn from you and to experience what you have to offer the world, which is just so fucking much.
Speaker 2:So thank you, I love it and I just have to like it's. It's only through relationships like this and through conversations like this and through you know the places that you've created that have enabled me to be able to tell my story. Through conversations like this and through you know the places that you've created that have enabled me to be able to tell my story. I don't think any one person knows my story. I think people know fragments of it. You probably know more than, I would say, pretty much anyone. I still surprise my husband some days with some of the things that I come out with about oh, is this one time?
Speaker 1:Well, I literally say I literally told Dave a story two days ago, going to get coffee, about something that I experienced in my childhood something trick, I don't know what. I think it was a song on the radio that made me think of something. And then it made me think and I told him this story about something that I experienced in my as a young girl and his face was like fucking horrified. He was like I'm sorry, you, what? Like they said what you experienced and I'm like, yeah, and I'm just like I forgot about that. How funny. And then, like we went in and got our ice latte.
Speaker 2:I know and that's what he he will often say to me he'll stop me and go Leticia.
Speaker 1:You know that isn't normal right you know, that's actually really fucked up it's really fucked up and.
Speaker 2:Oriolol would go. That's really sad, yeah, and I'm just like, yeah, oh well, you know, look at the sunrise kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Let's go get the coffee.
Speaker 2:I do that all the time at daybreak. Yeah, I just don't think about it and I just think that you know that's obviously what we do to protect ourselves, but also it becomes our norm right norm. Right, it's like normal. That was my childhood. He was like that wasn't normal. I'm going, but that was my normal. Yeah, I don't know any different. I don't know any different, that was just my life. Well, thank you my love.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you for coming on the podcast. Finally, happy death and it was fucking amazing. Okay, thank you, I'll put Letitia's links. Go follow her, go follow along her Instagram and just, guys, get a reading, just do one. It's like, just do one, just experience it for yourself. Thank you for being here, thank you.