Why Your Business Social Skills Need to Improve - 001

So, let’s get to the three focus area of an Elite Business Connector:

1. Communication - This focus area is all about me and preparation for focus area number two…
2. Conversation - This focus are is all about you or me and being able to start a conversation that draws the other person in and wanting more which should naturally lead to a…
3. Connection - This focus area is about us and this is the ultimate goal but it doesn’t come easy. You must do the first two focus areas of communication and conversation for the third focus area of connect, even has a shot.

How we communicate is how we eventually connect. As a result,  John Maxwell has The Five C’s of Effective Communication:

1. Concise – Think length and how you can communicate your point in the shortest yet effective way as possible while most people continue to talk hoping they actually figure out what they're trying to say. Avoid irrelevant tangents and prevent over-explaining. 

1. Clear – Think instant understanding by other people. Your words and pace are simple making sure the message you're trying to communicate is understood.

1. InControl – Think guiding the direction of the conversation and knowing where you're going with your communication so you can end up where you planned to go with not only your words but also your questions. 

1. Be Courteous– Think conversation manners of please, thank you, and sorry. It also means not interrupting and being truly engaged in every way in the conversation. 

1. Be Confident– People will be interested in whatever you have to say when they can see that you’re truly confident in it. When you're conscious of what you say, you can be more confident. And it shows a lot of confidence to tell someone exactly what you want to talk about. When you do this, you need to make sure you speak in a respectful and friendly tone, because you don’t want to come off too bossy or intense. 

Links

Harvest Business School

Resources to Use:

The System Elite Connectors Use to Remember Names

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30 Connection Questions for Stronger Business Conversations

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Welcome to the Elite Business Connector Podcast. I'm your host, Brian Paul Buckley, husband of one, father of five, and on a mission to help you develop and master your business social skills. Well, we unofficially started the Elite Business Connector Podcast. If you missed episode 000, I have a one-time offering of giving it to you for no charge. I'm talking like free 99 kids. I know, I know, I'm in a giving mood. That episode is the unofficial, underground, inaugural episode that must be kept between us girls. And just a quick reminder: if you decide to cut class for 000, the odd-numbered episodes are content-driven. With the even-numbered episodes are interviews with subject matter experts. Odd-numbered content. Even numbered interviews. So our next episode in sequence will be an interview with a subject matter expert. So stay tuned, my business connector fans. And what I wanted to do with this first few odd numbered episodes is give an overview of the three focus areas of becoming and remaining an elite business connector. I'm looking for the rookie and the rock star. Just because you've been at it a while, seemingly forever, doesn't necessarily guarantee you know and completely understand and are ready for these proven principles. It's like someone who's skinny doesn't necessarily mean that they're healthy. And even if you're a rock star, if you believe you can always get better, then you're my kind of guy and my kind of girl. For example, Sean, well, he was struggling with his business social skills. And let's just say he was far from confident that you could be as a business professional with his social skills. He had one characteristic that most don't have, which helped him immensely, and that was self-awareness. And what Shane desperately needed was a guide who had a plan to come alongside of him. That's where he needed as a business connector. And that's where we were for Sean. He had one characteristic that most don't have, which was self-awareness. And what Shane desperately needed was a guide who had a plan to come alongside of him, and that's exactly where Elite Business Connector is right there for him and so many others. So let's get to the three focus areas of Elite Business Connector. Focus area number one, communication. This is a focus all about me and my preparation for focus area number two, conversation. This focus area is all about you or me and being able to start a conversation that draws the other person in and wanting more, which should naturally lead to focus area number three, a connection. This focus area is all about us. And this is the ultimate goal. But it doesn't come easy. You must do the first two focus areas of communication and conversation for the third focus area of connection to even have a shot. This 001 episode is taking a deeper dive into the first focus area of communication. So let's get to it. Robert Frost was once quoted saying, half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. Everything starts with communication. According to the Harvest Business Review, the number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively. Let's rewind that last sentence so we don't do a verbal drive-by. The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively. This is not my mere opinion, but the Harvard Business Review, Just saying. The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively. This is not my mere opinion, but the Harvard Business Review, just saying. I like how George Bernard Shaw put it. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Let me some truth bombs there, huh? When someone struggles with their communication, they struggle in many other areas of life, but especially in the business world. Then when it comes time for sales or customer service, the stakes are even higher. People listen or need to listen to what we say, so we struggle in this area is the first of many problems. Taylor Vagno said training yourself to communicate effectively opens many doors, both personally and professionally. People tend to trust you more as well as you take you seriously. Author and keynote speaker John Maxwell says in one of my favorite books: everyone communicates if you connect. It's not enough just to work hard. It's not enough just to do a great job. To be successful, you need to learn how to really communicate with others. Business is so fast-paced that if you struggle with your communication, there are only a couple of options. You get passed by other people who can communicate, or you're let go and replaced by somebody who can communicate. Elite Business Connectors' purpose is to develop and master business social skills so you have that needed hope. Communication is, quote, all about me, end quote. Meaning that we alone are in charge of the way that we communicate. How you communicate is paramount to lead into a conversation and eventually into a real connection. But where does it start? Start with communication. Too many business professionals make it all about them, meaning that they have the license to talk over and around anyone at any time. Can you say narcissism at its best? Stating the obvious, this is not what we mean here. An elite business connector makes it all about me so I can be better for you. So when we have a conversation, I've done the pre-work that gives our conversation the best shot of clicking. Communication is all about me, meaning that we alone are in charge of the way we communicate. How you communicate is paramount to lead into a conversation and eventually into a real connection. But it starts where? With the focus area number one, communication. But too many times I'm listening to someone and thinking, what are you trying to say? Because I have absolutely no clue. Come on, man. The path is simple, yet sadly, it's become very difficult for many people in business. What used to be known as soft skills couldn't be harder for some people because they lack true business people skills. And hopefully this podcast will get you where you need to go. The communicator may not know this yet, unless he's incredibly perceptive. But when you lose me early, there's a rare chance you're gonna win me back. And I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it. But with being at this point in my life and my career, my spotty senses begin going off inside my head. And you now become extra work for me because now I have to begin asking clarifying questions so I can try and make sense of what you're saying. Please, don't make me burn extra mental calories, but learn how to communicate in a way that increases your business social skills. And clear communication is where this begins. The point of part one is that you understand the importance of communication and how to make changes. So you demand attention from the very beginning. Now, I don't mean demanding in a negative way or being demanding, but the other person just can't help but listen to you because your communication demands their attention. How we communicate is how we eventually will connect. As a result, John Maxwell has the five C's of effective communication. Let's break the five down. C number one, concise. Think length and how you can communicate your point in the shortest yet most effective way as possible. While most people continue to talk, hoping they'll eventually figure out what they're trying to say. Avoid irrelevant tangents and prevent overexplaining. The second C clear. Think instant understanding by other people. Your words and pace are simply making sure the message you're trying to communicate is understood. The third C in control. Think guiding the direction of the conversation and knowing where you're going with your communication so you can end up where you plan to go with not only words, but also your questions. And the fourth C, be courteous. Think conversation manners of please, thank you, and sorry. It also means not interrupting and being truly engaged in every way in the conversation. And the fifth and last C be confident. People will be interested in whatever you have to say when they can see that you're truly confident in it. When you're conscious of what you say, you can be more confident. And it shows a lot of confidence to tell someone exactly what you want to talk about. When you do this, you need to make sure you're speaking in a respectful way, in a friendly tone, because you don't want to come across as bossy or intense. Where will we head as we dive deeper into communication is so much bigger than the communication of words, especially words without a plan. There are four aspects in the communication focus area that we're going to drill down on in the coming weeks and months. First one, what I display, how to maximize a first impression. What I say, your words matter and they must be heard. What I portray, this is your nonverbal vibe and impression and what I overlay. This is my preparation that I put in so that I can say and portray exactly what I meant to say. Now, I wanted this episode to lay the groundwork for the first focus area of communication and just how important it is from sales to customer service to hospitality. And here's the quote for the first focus area of communication. How we communicate is how we connect. I cannot emphasize this anymore. How we communicate is how we connect. But how do you do it? Well, the fact that you're listening to this podcast is an indicator that you want to grow in this area and develop and master your business social skills. We'll show you the way if you're willing to invest in this podcast, along with the companion book, Elite Business Connector, how to develop and master business social skills. Now, the next episode is 002 and will be our very first interview with one of the best connectors in the business. And I'll be glad you listened to this upcoming episode. It's good. Closing comments, it's Nyder Marks. Well, this episode 001 is officially in the books, in and out, and nobody got hurt. Remember to subscribe and share this podcast. And if you're the extra mile kind of guy or girl, please rate the show. And I hope you're getting a feel of where we're headed with the Elite Business Connector podcast in the coming weeks and months as well. Remember that our links are found in the show notes, and this one has a couple of those links. As my father used to say, thanks for coming, but most of all, thanks for leaving. I'm out. You got this now. Communications.