Four Focus Areas on How You Show Up in the 1st 5 Minutes- 019

Stop leaving your first impression to chance. In this episode, Bryan breaks down the four focus areas that determine how you show up in the critical first five minutes of any business meeting — and how to take control of every single one.

Timestamps:

• 0:00 — How You Show Up Matters
• 1:35 — Show Up Before You Show Up
• 3:44 — The Science Behind First Impressions
• 5:42 — Focus Area One: How You Look
• 10:26 — Focus Area Two: How You Prepare
• 13:08 — Remember Names With A System
• 14:46 — Focus Area Three: How You Act
• 17:23 — Focus Area Four: How You Transition
• 19:47 — Mental And Emotional Readiness
• 22:25 — Action Items And Closing Challenges

The Four Focus Areas:

1. How You Look — Your appearance (hair, clothes, shoes) and what you're carrying sends a message before you say a word. Make it intentional.

2. How You Prepare — Take 5 minutes before the meeting to find 5 connection points, check your gear, and mentally walk through the meeting before it happens.

3. How You Act — Read the tone of the room before you ever walk in. Know your audience so you can adjust — not react.

4. How You Transition — Plan how you'll move from small talk to business. Don't pounce, don't stumble. Control the pivot.

Action Items:

• Audit your appearance — haircut, iron your clothes, clean your shoes
• Take 5 minutes to prep before your next meeting
• Ask tone questions ahead of time so you know how to act
• Think through your transition into the solution before you arrive
• Do a quick mental/emotional check-in before you walk through the door

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Transcript

How You Show Up Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:00

When was the last time you took a few minutes before a sales meeting and really thought about how you're going to show up? You thought through how you will come across? How will they view you after you leave? Will it be how you want to come across? Seriously, this is a big question. It's not one you have to ask before every single business meeting, but have you done it recently? Now, this doesn't have to be left to chance, and we're going to break down all the details in four focus areas on how you show up in the first five minutes in this episode, so you can go in with the master evil plan and not leave this first and critically important first impression to chance. You win? Let's do this. Welcome to the Elite Business Connector Podcast, where we believe how you interact with people will make or break your opportunity to develop a real and influential connection. Now, whether you're a rookie or a rock star with people, you're in the right place right now. Let's do it. Welcome to the Elite Business Connector Podcast. I'm your host, Brian Buckley, husband of one, father of five, and on a mission to help you develop, deepen, and master your business communication skills. And my promise to you is if you listen and subscribe, I'm going to bring my best content and energy to help you get better every week, both communicating and connecting in a business environment.

Show Up Before You Show Up

SPEAKER_00 1:35

So here's today's episode's big idea. Elite business connectors show up before they show up. They think through how they mentally, emotionally, and physically show up. And after this episode, I want you to feel confident that your best self shows up every single time for a business meeting because you've thought through every single element. This is next level, even though it seems so simple and maybe obvious, yet few really do it. And my challenge for you today is you'll be open to thinking through how you currently show up for a business meeting and what you can learn and take away from this episode to make you better. This is your time, this episode to reflect on you and if you're bringing your best self into every business conversation. And I hope that's the reason you're listening to this podcast or watching this podcast to be willing to grow and improve. And I want to start out today with two questions. Here's the first question: How am I perceived right now going in the way that I do, which is self-analysis? Second question is, how do I want to be perceived from now on, which is self-reflection? Let me see those two questions again. The first question was, how am I perceived right now going in the way that I do, the self-analysis part? And the second question was, how do I want to be perceived from now on, which is the self-reflection part? And when was the last time you took the time to ask those questions that require, well, both self-analysis and self-reflection? So I hope you pause the next few minutes and really think through those answers, and I'm gonna help you. This topic would fall under the traditional first impression, but I want to make it so much deeper than that. Why? Well, because a first impression, in my opinion, can just be about you or me. Remember my phrase: look at you, not look at me. We want to look at me in this situation in self-analysis and self-reflection before we ever show up in a business meeting. So this is your time to be selfish today and say, look at me, so I can be more prepared for look at you in every business conversation moving forward.

The Science Behind First Impressions

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Now, about those first impressions. This isn't just motivational talk. Research consistently shows that first impressions carry disportionate weight. Princeton psychologist Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov found that it takes just a tenth of a second for someone to form an impression about you. And once it's formed, those impressions are very sticky and they color well the rest of the interaction, but specifically in those first five minutes. Even crazier, Harvard Business School found that when people meet for the first time, two questions get answered, usually unconsciously. First is, can I trust this person? Second is, can I respect this person's confidence? Notice what comes first. Trust beats confidence every single time. That means the first five minutes aren't fluff. They're your shot at building trust and setting the tone for everything that follows in that conversation. And this is why I want to say to you and ask, how am I perceived right now, going in the way that I do? And how do I want to be perceived from now on? Elite business connectors have one thing in common: it's a growth mindset. They don't quickly discount new ideas. They're going to listen, they'll process that information, and then they'll test it. And they're willing to be wrong if that means they're getting better. And that's what I'm hoping you'll do on this episode with this content. Stanford researcher Carol Duck, big fan of her book, she coined the phrase growth mindset, which explains that people with a growth mindset believe they can develop abilities through their effort and learning, not just talent alone. And that's exactly what we're doing here, developing the ability to connect. So I challenge you right now to have a growth mindset that allows you to be open to everything the first five minutes has to offer. Low-hanging fruit in today's episode. Now we have four focus areas of how you show up in the first five minutes.

Focus Area One How You Look

SPEAKER_00 5:42

When I talk about OQ, observational intelligence in the first five minutes, I referencing noticing what others are wearing, carrying, showing, and sharing. Let me say that one more time. What people are wearing, carrying, showing, and sharing. So I'm going to turn it around on you for you to notice these areas on you, specifically what you are wearing and caring at first. Here's the first focus area, how I look. Can I be honest here? Some of you need to hear this. So please know I have your best interest in mind. Others may want to tell you this and are definitely thinking it, so I'm going to be your guy on this one. Ready? Too many business professionals' appearance is a hot mess. You got a lot going on there with your style or lack thereof. Now, there's extremes of high fashion and caring well too much about what people think, and that's all there is about you, all style and no substance. Then there's that guy or that girl who comes in completely disheveled. I'm referencing the person in the middle who can improve in this area. Some needed tweaks, if you will. Remember, we're being judged whether we like it or not in those first few seconds. So let's start strong. So here are two categories: what's on you and what's with you. First one, what's on you? This is how you look. So let's go from top to bottom on our body. Hair. How did it look? When was the last time you checked it? When was the last time it was cut or even trimmed? How about the last times it was combed or brushed? Seriously, address it. Take the time for the haircut. Take a moment to see how you look in the mirror before that first second of those first five minutes. How about clothes? Let me get basic. Do you match? Do you have a lot going on with your wardrobe? Are your clothes wrinkled? I see that all the time. How about your shoes? Are they even clean? Are they polished? When was the last time you actually even noticed? Maybe that's your takeaway to notice your shoes, notice your hair. I know this sounds so basic, but I have to bring it up because I just see too many business professionals' appearance as questionable and they need an intervention. I'm your guy, I'm sitting you down. Intervention on your hair, on your clothes, and on your shoes. My point is put some thought in and make more effort on your appearance. Make it represent who you want to be and are on the inside. Some of you simply need to need to start here. This is your challenge and your takeaway. Others of you are put together, but could there be something in this what's on you section that you could improve? For most, it's cleaning their shoes or simply getting another pair that is clean, maybe not so worn out, or even a better reflection of your style. Second is what's with you, aka what you're carrying. We bring in something into a meeting that has our gear. It may be a backpack, messenger bag, regular bag, et cetera. Our gear may be a laptop, a tablet, notebook, swag. And we have small items like business cards or brochures or pens, et cetera. Too many business people that I've been around come in with a beat up or a dirty bag. It just looks unprofessional and bad. Can I just say that? What's your bag look like? And too many are just unorganized. They can't find anything, they forget things. Again, a hot mess. That guy says a lot to me without saying a word. If he doesn't look or act put together personally, I equate that to doing sloppy work, seeming unorganized, and zero attention to detail. How's that for honesty? Is that how you would want to come across to me? How you look and show up matters more than you even realize. Take the time to analyze your look. It could be as simple as thinking through what you want to wear. Again, is it ironed, clean, and gives the look you want to show as a first impression? Back to the haircut. Do you need to take a couple of minutes to clean or polish your shoes? I keep hitting on that. That actually is a pet peeve of mine. So many people come in and their shoes are just scuffed up, the sides are dirty, it's just not clean, shoelaces are undone, it doesn't fit what their outfit shows. Take the time to be clean or simply replace them. Rant over. Again, sounds so simple, but so often ignored and makes a difference in your first impression.

Focus Area Two How You Prepare

SPEAKER_00 10:26

But here's a second focus area. How I prepare. This goes back to what I call pre-read the room, where I do whatever intel I can do on the company and the customer. I call this take the five before the five to find the five. Take five minutes before the first five minutes to find five connection points. Now, I'm not going to talk too much about that in detail on take the five before the five to find the five, but want to stress this is part of how you show up. And the league business connector is going to come in prepared. They're going to come in eyes wide open and what I call prepared to improvise. Be prepared so much that you have the option and the ability to adapt in the moment and improve and improvise if needed because of your preparation. I know we'll be able to fully prepare every single time for every single scenario, but do something, anything, just not nothing. Make this part of your pregame so you can show up the way you want to be seen and impress in this area of preparation. Another thought on prepare before the first five minutes. Something I do sounds unusual, but it's effective. I take a couple of minutes. Actually, for some reason, I'm really fond of five minutes, and I think through the meeting. What do I need to bring? Is my bag clean? Is it organized? Is everything charged? Is my presentation current and ready to present? Do I have easy access to it in my bag? Am I bringing swag and need to pack it? I just recently converted from a backpack, and it was a nice Kol Han backpack. But it wasn't the look I was really wanting. And so I chose to spend the money and I bought a beautiful leather messenger bag. For those on video, you can see it right here. And I'm proud to carry it. It is nice. I get compliments on it all the time. And the challenge was it held far less, but it's forced me to carry the essentials, and it was the right move. I'm far more agonized or organized, and I love my bag. It's amazing how this five minutes of prep has saved me so many times from not coming in prepared for one of the above questions and situations. Now, for the record, I was that guy at one point and it had someone say in a not so loving way, hey Buckley, get shh stuff together. G show here, guys. Hard to hear, but he was right. I did not like hearing it. It was Kurt, but he was right. And maybe on that right now to you. Now, I'm thinking through how I look and being prepared, walking into the meeting before the meeting even happens. But there's still more to how you show

Remember Names With A System

SPEAKER_00 13:08

up. And we'll break down the next two focus areas after this short break. How many times have you ever heard or even said the line? Oh, I'm great with faces, but bad with names. Come on now, be honest. But think about that statement. What can make the other person feel whose name is very important to them? No judgment here, used to be that guy. But not anymore. Do you know why? Because I found that mailing is one of my highest problems in the first five minutes of everyone. And let me let you in on a little. Remembering names is not a memory. Remembering names is not a memory. What creative resource can be called connected to remember name? It's how to nail the name to make a strong first. And you can get this resource absolutely for free. Just go to Show Notes to download your copy today. Be the person who cares about the other person's name enough to learn the system on how to remember their name. Download your free resource so you can begin nailing the name every time. We just discussed the first two focus areas of how you show up by looking at how you look and how you prepare. So, halftime. How did you do when you did an allowed look at me? Did it get a little personal? More importantly, did you decide what you need to change or improve? Act on that. Now let's break down the next two focus areas we need to analyze.

Focus Area Three How You Act

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Focus area number three, how I act. This one is thinking through what is the tone of the meeting. Now, I may not know exactly, but often knowing more about the business or the person I'm meeting with will give me some needed intel if I know what to look for ahead of time. So, for example, I like to engage people by asking questions, but also there's a light humorous side of me. I like to put a smile on someone's face or even to get them to laugh. But if I know something about the setting in the people ahead of the meeting, I may have to really read the room on the tone and adjust accordingly. But here's the key. If I talk to the person my main contact ahead of time, I can get a temperature of their seriousness, their sense of humor, or they buy the book, or any other clue they offer me. So I'm looking ahead of time for these details. So often just asking the tone type of questions can set the tone, all pun intended, to know how to act. I'll go in an extra mile and even ask some of these potential questions. Is the environment casual or corporate? Is it going to be a serious or a light tone? Is it an intimate group, or maybe just one or two, or a larger group? Are they going to be short with time or is there a hard stop? Or maybe they're just loose on time. Getting these answers ahead of time will help me immensely to know how I can act. Asking the questions ahead of time of your contact can really help you to know that. So, do you see how thinking through this focus area can help you set, be set up for success in your first impression? Now, let me push a little more on this one. There's one extreme of, well, they just need to accept me for who I am and not being who you are at all. Reading the room is critical. Your OQ is paramount, and it'll help you to excel on this focus area of how to act. I've been with people that I just cringe and think, what are you thinking? The problem, well, they're not. They're simply reacting. This is your first impression that is your main interaction with the prospect or customer. You need to be overly aware of how you're coming across. All too often, I need to play rescue for that guy or girl to recover how someone is acting that is not servicing them or me for that matter. But I need to do that for you. How you act in the first five minutes leaves such an impression, and you want to control the narrative. So really think through this focus area of how you show up with how you act.

Focus Area Four How You Transition

SPEAKER_00 17:23

So this is how you look, how you prepare, how you act, and then the fourth focus area, how you transition. In the first five minutes framework, I talk about the last minute as think problem. What I mean is you're moving from the first minute of think personal, then the middle three minutes of think professional, and at least to the last minute of think problem. Too many business professionals take that turn at a hundred and go from personable and likable, then pounce at their first chance. Don't be that guy. Don't be that girl. In the first five minutes book, I talk about three pitfalls in the last minute. First is we think we already know the customer's problem. Second is well, we wait for them to just tell us the problem. Or third is we just feel awkward asking. And then the two-step approach, repeat the problem in their words for you, for them, and for both of you. And second is you transition to the solution. And I'll talk more about that in a separate episode. But this is where it lands. And you may be thinking, well, how does this even apply to how I show up in the first five minutes? Well, because you show up before you show up by preparing for any part of the meeting that you can control. You can control how you look, you can control how you prepare, you can control how you act, and you can control how you transition into the reason for the meeting, which is your solution. All too often, we stumble awkwardly into this last of the five minutes, or we turn into what I call a cold hard seller. Neither is effective, and neither is how you want to show up. And it's going to leave a negative impression. Now you can control this transition by thinking of it ahead of time. Do you know what questions you'll ask? What intel can you gather ahead of time? Can I plan for this transition to go a couple of different ways just in case? And that last one's my favorite. I'm fine with the contingency, but I know I'm going to go a couple of different directions. And this forethought can be the difference between stumbling awkwardly into your solution or maximizing the last minute that sets you up for the rest of your meeting. I cannot stress enough, thinking through this transition is part of how you show up in the first five minutes. Control the controllables and be as prepared as you can.

Mental And Emotional Readiness

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Now, as we wrap up, I want to give you some quick bonus content. How you show up also involves where you are mentally and emotionally. We may be having a tough day. Maybe we just had a rough call with a prospect or a customer, or maybe you just heard it from your boss and you're mentally, well, in just some pretty rough shape. Or maybe you're going through something personally and your emotions are all over the place, or you're struggling. I get it. We're human. The problem is when the people in the business meeting get it. Do you know what I mean? They get your mental distraction or your emotional overwhelm. Not the time, not the place. Let me give you a very personal example. I struggle with severe neurological migraines. Most people would never know this unless I tell them they're brutal and they're my thorn in the flesh, but they're part of me, but don't define me and who I am. So I know going in to meet someone, how I'm feeling health-wise and cognizant, this is my issue, not their issue. So my mindset is awareness and pushing through. I'm there for them. I'm there to connect with them. It's look at you, not look at me, even if I'm in rough shape. It's so easy to do, but that's not showing up with your best self and hard to overcome that first impression. This is another area you can control and need to be aware and respond accordingly and determine if you need to make any changes before the first minute ever begins. My point is think through how you're doing mentally, emotionally, or with your health so you don't bring any of it in to the meeting. The action is different for me is taking a minute or two in my car before I walk into the meeting, before I open the door, before I have any other conversations. I'm doing some self reflection, pausing, some breathing. Where am I mentally right now? Where am I emotionally? How am I feeling? If my head's pounding, how can I focus for the next 30 minutes or whatever and make a great first impression? I want to make sure I'm in a good place and I show my best self to them. So I can truly connect with them in the first five minutes. And I cannot stress enough. So many of us right now, we are just walking into meetings and we're not even thinking of ourselves at all, let alone bringing our best self so that we can connect with the other person. How are we appearing? How are we transitioning? How, what are we carrying? All those factors are really, really important. So what are some action items?

Action Items And Closing Challenges

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Well, first one, we'll just break down the three or the four focus series. Take a hard look at how you look, your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Maybe your action item is a haircut, ironing your clothes or buying new shoes. Second, action item, just take five minutes to prepare yourself for your next meeting. Get organized. Third, find out how you can act in the meeting. A lot of that you can find out ahead of time so you can walk in prepared. And fourth, find out how you can best transition into your solution. Let me give you a filter. If I was with you and saw how you looked, how you prepared, how you acted, and then how you transition into your solution, what would I notice? What would I say to you? Seriously, what you think would be my response is your true action types. Choose one, choose two, go through all of those, but all four are very, very important. So here's some closing thoughts. My master evil plan was to challenge you and to get you to think before the first five minutes starts so you can show up with your best self. Nothing in this episode is difficult to do, but it's a matter of being willing and brutally honest with yourself and how you currently show up in every business conversation. It's being willing to answer those two questions that I gave at the beginning. First was, how am I perceived right now going in the way that I do? You know what that means? That's the self-analysis. Literally, you're walking into a building with your current hair, current clothes, what you're carrying, all those details. How is that being perceived? The second question was, how do I want to be perceived from now on? Self-reflection. Those are the things that you can change. So I challenge you to do these action items and literally do something with the content in this episode. I guarantee it will make a difference and set you up for the rest of the first five minutes. So here's a quick sneak peek of episode 20. In the next episode, we'll be focusing on the anatomy of an effective conversation. The older I get, the more I value and appreciate a good conversation. But these don't happen by accident. In the next episode, we're going to talk about what creates the right conditions, the core elements, the arc and flow of an effective conversation, but also what undermines it from happening. I geek out on analyzing conversations. So we'll unpack all of my favorites here on the next episode. But this episode, episode 19, is officially in the books. As I always say, In and Out, Nobody Got Hurt. Remember to subscribe to and share the podcast. If you've not done that yet, I say this every episode. Subscribe and share it. And if you've not done the review just yet, I would greatly appreciate if you took the time to do that. And also don't forget that all this episode's notes and also the links are available in the show notes. There's a lot here in this episode. And I encourage you to pick up that free resource. If you've not done that before and struggling with names or feel like you could get better, find that specific resource that I provided for you in the show notes. It's amazing how many people have come back to me after I said, Man, I downloaded that and I did this one or two things and it worked. Thank you for that. I hope you become one of those persons. And as we close, I'd love to hear from you. So you can send an email to me at Brian, B-R-Y-A-N, Brian BuckleySpeaks.com with any questions, comments, or ideas. Love to hear what you received from this episode. Maybe something that you're going to change. And as I always close, as my Chicago Bears chant, good, better, best, never let it rest till your good gets better and your better gets best. And as the great Frank Buckley, my father used to say, thanks for coming, but most of all, thanks for leaving. I'm out. You got this now. Now is your time to do something with this episode. And always remember to leverage your first five minutes to build connection, trust, and influence. You got this.