Elite Business Connector Podcast
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Elite Business Connector Podcast
Why This AT&T VP Still Works on Her 1st 5 Minutes (Interview with Ashley Siller) - 028
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What happens when one of AT&T's top sales leaders — an Area Vice President, Double Diamond Club winner, and leader of a massive B2B organization across the East Region — reads your books, applies the principles, and comes back to tell you exactly what changed? You get this episode. Bryan Buckley sits down with Ashley Siller for a candid, high-energy conversation about what it looks like to apply the First 5 Minutes framework at the highest levels of leadership. Ashley doesn't hold back — sharing her own growth journey from self-described bad listener and name-forgetter to one of the most intentionally connected leaders in her organization. Here's what Bryan and Ashley unpack together:
- Observational Intelligence at the Leadership Level
- Look at You, Not Look at Me
- Nailing the Name at Scale
- The 2QM in Practice
- Me Too, But Back to You
- The Higher You Get, The More You Need People
Timestamps
0:00 — Introduction & How Bryan And Ashley Met
3:24 — Reading The Books: When Theory Becomes Real
4:39 — Observational Intelligence As A Leader
7:21 — Look At You, Not Look At Me: The Leadership Version
9:50 — Five Before The Five At The VP Level
11:26 — Nailing The Name: Ashley's Journey And System
16:59 — The Tom Brady Principle: The Higher You Get, The More You Need People
18:51 — Why Most People Don't Ask Questions
21:17 — The Two Question Minimum And Me Too But Back To You
24:18 — Personal vs. Professional: When To Go Deeper
27:25 — What Ashley Would Say To Every Level Of Leader
31:00 — What Ashley Wishes Someone Had Told Her Earlier
31:41 — Rapid Fire Round
36:43 — Closing Thoughts For Sellers And Leaders
39:18 — Sign-Off
Featured Guest
- Ashley Siller — Area Vice President at AT&T, Double Diamond Club winner, and leader of one of the company's largest B2B sales organizations across the East Region. A longtime champion of intentional connection, Ashley leads with the belief that the higher you get, the more you need the people around you. Connect with her on LinkedIn.
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Why First Impressions Still Matter
SPEAKER_02She manages a sales organization spanning an entire region for one of the biggest companies in the world. She's in the top 3% of ATT performers. Now, she has every reason to think she already knows how to connect with people. And yet, she read the book. In fact, my last two books. She applied the principles. And today she's going to tell you exactly what changed. Now, if the A VP, Astley Stiller, is still working on her first five minutes, what does that say about the rest of us? Ready to hear what she had to say on this interview? Let's do this. Welcome to the Elite Business Connector Podcast. Where we believe how you interact with people will make or break your opportunity to develop a real and influential connection. Now, whether you're a rookie or a rock star with people, you're the right place, right now. Let's do it.
Meet Ashley Siller From AT&T
SPEAKER_02Welcome to the Elite Business Connector Podcast. I'm your host, Brian Buckley, husband of one father of five, and on a mission to help you develop, deepen, and master your business communication skills. Now, my promise to you is if you listen and subscribe, I'm going to bring my best content and energy to help you get better every single week communicating and connecting in a business environment. My guest today is a powerhouse in the world of business sales. Ashley Siller is an area vice president of AT ⁇ T, where she leads a large-scale B2B sales organization responsible for growing and retaining platinum mid-market mobility customers across the East region. Her career roadmap at AT ⁇ T reads like a masterclass in upward mobility, from territory GM to tooling and transformation to chief of staff to national business sales to where she sits today as a platinum integrated AVP. But wait, there's more. She's a double diamond club winner, earning that distinction in both 22 and 24, placing her in the top tier of ATT's entire sales performance. She's also a VMDP, an MDP mentor, a future leaders development mentor, and a 2022 Service Excellence Award recipient. But her professional philosophy excellence through drive and discipline. She's continually learning and leading, which is exactly why she picked up the first five minutes and the elite business connector books and actually applied them. Now here's what I love about Ashley, beyond the title. She is a boy mom to bull, age 11, and banks, age 10, which means she's also a baseball, golf, wrestling, and soccer mom all at the same time. She's a University of Georgia bulldog, a wellness and fitness advocate, a rescue dog mom to a two-year-old named Rosie, and she serves on the board of directors for the Georgia PGA as a nonprofit junior golf grant leader. She describes herself as fueled by connection, powered by vibes. Love that line. And after spending time with her, I can tell you that is not just a tagline. So let's join our conversation with Ashley.
The Dinner That Built A Bond
SPEAKER_02Well, I'm officially live with the Ashley Siller. How are you? And where are you, my friend?
SPEAKER_01I am so good. I'm actually here in Atlanta, Georgia. I've been on the road for the last like eight weeks. So I'm so happy just to be right here. I'm home base.
SPEAKER_02Good for you. And eat your own leftovers too, right?
SPEAKER_01That's right. That's exactly very funny you say that. Yes.
SPEAKER_02I know, right? And same way with me, man. I'm not traveling. I want I want my own bed and I want leftovers and my own office. So you absolutely can relate to that. So let's give those that are listening, following along at home or where they're listening, a little bit of perspective on how we met, how we're connected, and even years later, why we're still connected. So I'll let you go first. I'm curious your answer.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. So I know we're going to get into my title, what we do, but part of what you need to know is that I am on the road all the time and I meet so many partners and so many vendors everywhere I go, right? And to be honest, a lot of times a lot of them run together. But when I met you, you had the audience captivated. My teams still to this day, like years later, talk about you. And you were just, you brought the energy and you were just very memorable. And I think that's part of the reason why we are still here today.
SPEAKER_02I greatly appreciate it. Yeah. And we we clicked immediately from that. In fact, I remember specifically us at a at a big corporate dinner, and there was just tons of people all over the place. Do you remember this?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I do.
SPEAKER_02And um, what I appreciated, Ashley, because I might I had seen you in your leader role, and then this was kind of dinner role, and we were still kind of getting to know each other. But you were very cognizant of two things. Those that were around you in your position, and then they were obviously reported to you, but very aware of me being in front, uh, you know, as far as what I was sitting across from you.
SPEAKER_01Right in front of me.
SPEAKER_02And having those conversations. Do you remember that?
SPEAKER_01Yep, I do. We're we're in the the red velvet speakeasy type of restaurant. Yeah, I remember. And you were right in front of me for like two hours.
SPEAKER_02Literally. Two hours.
SPEAKER_01Literally, yes.
SPEAKER_02So, and what I I appreciated about you in that moment, Ashley, and this kind of just shows your wiring, and we're gonna we're gonna go deep on a lot of this, was three of your words that you said often were just tell me more. Tell me about and I absolutely love that. I'm like, that is somebody I can relate to. And little did I know you'd end up uh working through my content, and then here years later, you're you're on this podcast. So that moment stuck out to me. Any other moments that stuck out to you that you're like, oh, I wish maybe I forgot about that guy?
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, it's funny because we were at a you know at a restaurant, right? And everybody's you know, drinking wine and martinis and prosecco, and I look at you and you said, Yeah, I don't, you know, I don't drink. And for a brief moment, I thought to myself, man, this guy is arguably one of the most, if not the most, engaging person at this table. And I was just really impressed with your just self-awareness and discipline to be in a room full of all of these salespeople just connecting without alcohol. So that that uh that was a memory for me of you.
SPEAKER_02Good, good. Well, I'm glad it was a good one, and we don't have to edit that one out. So let's dive right in, Ashley. Um we've got a lot to talk about, and I'm really excited. You've
A High Performer Admits A Gap
SPEAKER_02a rare one who's actually read a couple of my books, Elite Business Connector, and then the first five minutes. And most people read books, and if they even finish them, which is rare, they just kind of put them on the shelf and just don't nearly apply the principles that are in the book. What was the moment in reading these books to you that you're realizing this isn't theory, this isn't just, hey, this is a nice read here. This is something that actually may influence and change how you interact with people and how you lead.
SPEAKER_01Yep. So I mentioned this before. I am, I'm on the road all the time. I'm in front of people all the time, whether it's sellers, partners, vendors, leaders, customers, right? And I recognize that I have a fundamental problem, had a fundamental problem where I couldn't really remember the substantial parts of a conversation when I would meet people. And if I was in an, if I was in a uh you know, a customer meeting, I could remember all the details, but I'm constantly ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping with people. And I would find myself meeting the same people twice or meeting, having the same conversation over, and I knew I could remember that. So when I met you and I started reading your books, it gave me the tips and tools and tricks to have a more meaningful, impactful conversation that I could not only remember, right? But actually provide impact and receive impact from the people I was with. I was able to be in the moment, and this book or these books were all about that. And I needed help.
SPEAKER_02Well, I love that. First of all, the humility of just saying, hey, we need help, even at even at your level, honestly. But I also appreciate the fact of when we talked about it later on, it was language. Like it was things that you're working through. And to your point, we'll talk about later observational intelligence. You're just aware, hey, I need to work on this. Like this is an area to be able to improve. So mad kudos to you on that.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
Read The Room Then Adapt
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, observational uh intelligence. When I think about going into a room, it's not just about like going to a room and having a set agenda. It's you you want to go in and set the tone, but you have to have the ability to look around you and read the body language, read the facial expressions. I mean, even feel the energy. You you know, I talk about vibes all the time. Feel the energy and then adapt because when you don't, when you don't set the tone, you also don't set the trajectory of the meaning of what you want to accomplish. So that is such a key fundamental part of your book that I that I learned. And now I am overly aware of coming in, reading the room, and then pivoting and adapting to what I want to accomplish.
SPEAKER_02Perfect. So let's drill down on that because I I'm glad you went there. So we're talking, you know, AVP, you know, vice president area in a large area, a lot of responsibility. Actually, it's so easy, I would assume, for you to walk into the room and just because of your title, the name on the jersey, for people just to assume, okay, well, it's your turn to talk, my turn to listen, and I'll I'll talk when I'm called upon within that. So let's unpack that just for a moment for somebody who has leadership levels, whether it's director, VP, or above on their, how do they handle that with observational intelligence? Walking into a room when it's seemingly about them in a way by default, or whether they're commanding that just with their own presence.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, again, it kind of goes back into the type of form, right? Like if I'm walking into a mentor session, there's gonna be a lot of, hey, I want to learn about you, right? But pretty much any other interaction other than that, it's about them. And the sooner you realize that you build trust, you build relationships, you build meaningful and impactful relationships by asking questions about other people, that's when you've really won because it breaks down, increases credibility, but it increases the trust right away. And then at the end of the day, you're not just there for surface conversations, you get more out of it anyway. So the sooner you realize who you're dealing with and in breaking down that barrier of, you know, tell me more. This is what I want to accomplish out of the meeting or out of the town hall or out of the environment. It's about adjusting and setting the trajectory.
SPEAKER_02That's excellent. And I think there's a couple points that were there. One is it's got to know your audience. No, your audience. That's that's a big thing of that. But that's observational intelligence. And you can be very aware of that walking into that. So you brought up a point we bring up in the book a lot. Look at you, not look at me. Yes. Yes. How hard is it to resist? Well, I mean, whether you're of A VP or whether you're just a seller that you know that's got a name on the jersey of ATT or or whatever you know, company acts on there, to not leave with credentials and to and kind of shift it and make it about that other person where it is look at them, not look at you.
SPEAKER_01I am so glad you asked this because so much of being, especially a sales leader, is look at these results, look at this dashboard, look at me, right? And if I'm being honest, the younger, when I was a younger leader, there was a lot of that. It was about me, me, me, seller superstars, you know, my team, my production, my market. And as I've grown and matured in my role, it's not about me. It's about them. It's our market, it's our sellers, it's our production, it's our customers, right? So the truth is, is when you walk in a room, people already know who you are as an AVP. People probably know more about you than you think. So it's it's really easy to go in and talk about yourself. But at the end of the day, that doesn't really do anything for you. Your credibility actually goes down and not up because it's about you versus them. So instead of coming in hot talking about your credentials and what you're doing or what all the things you've done, you're actually doing a lot more by talking about them because then they learn about how you think, how you listen, and how you lead.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's so good, Ashley. That's so good.
Prep Before Meetings Shows Respect
SPEAKER_02So let's pivot to the concept of five minutes about taking the five before the five to find the five. Because it's very easy when we're going into a meeting to just kind of make it all about us, kind of go on prompt two of that. Talk a little bit about just kind of your research, even at your position of walking into a meeting and maybe finding some connection points that you can instantly make that connection with another person.
SPEAKER_01Totally. At my level, preparations actually leverage. So when I think about the five before or five of five, you actually skip a lot of the surface stuff because you can get into all of the stuff that you actually need to know, all of the impactful things. So, like with clients, it might mean resolving a or understanding their problem sooner. Or, you know, it also signals a sign of respect because it shows that you took the time to prepare for them and people will show up differently if they know that you took the time to get to know them before you get to know them.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's excellent. Well, especially too, because maybe there's an assumption that you just don't do that.
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, I don't I don't want to interrupt you here, but there's a lot of leaders that don't. There's a lot of leaders that are like, they act like your their presence is a gift. Versus if you come up with a little bit of humility, people are like, oh, you put your pants on the same way that I do. And I'll tell you what, you get a hell of a lot more authentic respect when you act like that.
SPEAKER_02I love that. I love that. Which leads into asking questions. But before we do that, let's let's dive into something you do very well.
Names That People Actually Remember
SPEAKER_02Okay. And we're gonna talk about names. So when early on when you started getting into my material on that, was one of the first things you kind of geeked out. So before I get into questions, I'm gonna let you go, gonna go free free reign here on that one, and then we'll we'll we'll get into some specifics about how to do names.
SPEAKER_01I know every time I see you, I'm always telling you about a name story. So for those listening, I'll tell you what I mean by that. So I'm terrible with names. And I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm on the Georgia Board PGA, and I'm constantly at events, I'm constantly meeting new sellers, I'm constantly connecting quickly with a lot of people. And I found myself, I mentioned this earlier, I could not remember their names. So I would get to the point where I just had it in my head of saying, Hey, it's nice to see you again, because I couldn't remember their name. So now it's like such an easy concept, but it's so big. Now I will always say, Hey, what's your name? And then, hey, how do you spell that? Right? And then repeat it back. And then any opportunity that I have to say their name, like following a sentence, I will say it. So role play. Oh, hey, Brian, how do you spell that? Is that Brian with a Y or an I?
SPEAKER_02Very good. Brian with a Y.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so B-R-Y-A-N, huh? Okay, Brian, it's awesome to meet you. Hey, Brian, tell me a little bit about yourself, right? So, do you see it was like I asked the spelling, so it reinforced it in my head. Then I recognized your face, and then I said it again all in 20 seconds. I love the concept. I'm gonna tell you one more story. This was literally last night. I'm at dinner, and I asked the waiter, actually, no, it was with you when we were last week and I didn't. What's your name? And he said, Dennis. And I said, Oh, how do you spell that? Thinking like, oh, it's D N N I S. But that's how I remember he said, Oh, it's it's with one N. I said, Well, I'm glad I asked. Thanks, Dennis. And now here I am telling the story, and that was a week ago. And the best part I love it.
SPEAKER_02But the best part about it too, it was in the moment, it was natural for you. And all of a sudden, instead of him just giving you a drink or the order on that, he became human to you.
SPEAKER_00He did.
SPEAKER_02And I loved that. And I loved because especially being in my role, I obviously geek out on this topic. I'm watching you, Ashley, but I'm also watching Dennis with a one in. And how he smiled and how much he appreciated the fact that somebody, little even realizing, you know, your role in the whole spiel, but that somebody cared enough to ask as far as his name. And I loved him coming back around. You got better service because you treated him as a human within that, and then you referenced his name later on. So I'm witnessing firsthand, and I absolutely love that aspect of you. So for those who struggle, currently struggling, and you mentioned it saying being bad with names, and obviously you've you've corrected that. What do you suggest to the person who just says, oh, I'm just great with faces, I'm bad with names?
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's unacceptable. I mean, but I'm just kidding. No, no, I'm just kidding. Um, you know, just a little, I'll say trick is to say, never say it's good to meet you, because if you say it's good to meet you and you're not sure if you've met that person for the first time, don't say that. That's the first the first way to say, Hey, I didn't remember you. Nobody wants to hear that. And then they're always gonna remember that you didn't remember them when they see you again. So always say, even if it is the first time, but you're not sure, always say, It's so good to see you. Because that could insinuate first time or it could insinuate that you've seen them again.
SPEAKER_02Great tip. Another one we use too is if you definitely forgot the name, don't say the word forgot because it sounds like irresponsible. It's just saying, please remind me of your name.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_02And then lock it in right then is just another little quick cheater. And then I'll love to actually you do a good job of call it name dropping in a good context within the context of that conversation. Yes. So in the middle of the conversation, you'll reinforce that. Sometimes it's hey, tell me about this, Brian, within that. In fact, let's go back to another time that actually the very first time I met you was actually at a dinner in South Florida, right when you started in your role. Do you remember that?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I do. I could not tell you the restaurant, but I do remember that. That's right. Firebirds.
SPEAKER_02But what's cool about that moment though was you're you were sitting two down for me. We had somebody else who was in the middle there.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_02And well, all of a sudden it was taking a moment right there, pulling over. Hey, tell me about, tell me more. Using that, you know, just getting locked into some of these contexts earlier on. But what I love though, Ashley, about who you are is that you had a good skill level at that point. But yet you still wanted to get better at it. You're still willing to work through these books to be able to improve at that level. So let's talk about that just for a second on that. Why did that matter to you to get better?
SPEAKER_01So I will answer your question, but before I answer the question, uh think about the best, arguably, NFL football player, Tom Brady. Whether or not you like him or not like him, Patriots fan, not Patriots fan. Do you think that Tom Brady ever wakes up like, nah, I'm good. I'm not gonna practice. Nah, I'm good. I'm not, I don't need to, I don't need to eat well this week. No, he is the best of his of his whole craft, right? He's better than anybody. But he does the small deposits every single day of positive things, whether it's eating right or practicing or agility or working out or whatever, right? He's the best of the best and he still wants to get better, right? So as a leader, even if you're a VP, even if you're a CEO, you should always, always strive to be better. But most importantly, connect, make a conscious effort to connect with the people around you. Because the truth is, is the higher you get, the more you need the people around you.
SPEAKER_02So if you're operating, say that again, that was gold.
SPEAKER_01The higher you get, the more you need the people around you. And if you are a leader that thinks that they're the smartest, that doesn't ever want to be challenged, right? Eventually all you're gonna do is surround yourself with a bunch of people that have nothing impactful or helpful to say. So you've got to create an environment of trust, authenticity, being genuine, and ding ding ding, caring. So it is about the people around you and how you make them feel. It's not just what you say, it's how you make them feel.
SPEAKER_02Love it. Love it. I mean, uh great analogy with Tom Brady. I mean, it's desire to be elite, hence the name of the book, hence the name of the podcast on there and getting better all the time on there. So an area that you have done very well at, but yeah, I've seen you grow in actually is really is asking questions out of that.
Better Questions And Locked In Listening
SPEAKER_02So, first of all, why do you think most people don't ask any questions at all? Or if they do, they answer their own question right away in a business conversation. Why is that just not a thing that people do?
SPEAKER_01I think a lot of people, especially in sales, are so programmed to be me, me, me. Look what I've done. These are my credentials. It's to make them feel important. And actually, it's funny you say that because even this interaction right here, it's uncomfortable for me because it I want to ask you questions, but I know that's not the intent of this podcast. But yeah, asking those questions is like like, how so? Tell me more. People think, especially, especially like at my level and and much higher, people think that there is a canned, polished answer that I want to hear. And for me, that's not necessarily the case, right? They think that they're supposed to say that. Like they tell me that what I want to hear. I don't want to hear what I want to hear. I want you to tell me what you want me to hear, right? So asking those questions like tell me more, or my other favorite is how so? Like it is an open-ended question that prompts actual thought beyond the surface level polish.
SPEAKER_02So let's drill on that because technically you're not asking a question, you're encouraging conversation posed as a question, which I it's even better sometimes. And you do so well at that. And I think that's a a really good lesson, lesson for the listener is if you're afraid to ask a question on there, go with those. Tell me more. How about this? What was the other one you had mentioned too? Tell me. How so? How so? I love those two. Because then I well, I think the other thing it does, it positions the listener to hopefully give the answer that you had mentioned just a moment ago that you want to hear, not the answer that they think you want to hear or need to hear.
SPEAKER_01That's right. And the biggest shift, especially with somebody who is who's used to say, like, hey, this is where I am, or I'm number one, or reading on an ops review, or being the center of a town hall, it really is just a shift in discipline about how you interact with people. So it also, it also stops the urge to reply too quickly. And that second question, it really slows you down. It forces you to listen a little bit longer, it forces you to think a little bit deeper, and it forces you to understand where the other person is coming from and where they want to go.
SPEAKER_02And that's huge. I think you're creating that white space for them. But you've just mentioned something that is rare error. And you mentioned we talk about in the book 2 QM, two question minimum. If we can get the listener to just ask one question and not a gotcha question, not a I'm asking the question so I can give you the answer called a boomerang question, or one where all of a sudden I want to up you. But if you genuinely care and then you take it to the next level and ask that second question, what happens when you ask that second question to another person?
SPEAKER_01Well, it goes beyond, it goes beyond the surface. But I do, I do want to go back to the, I think it's you use the word the boomerang question. And just I don't know if this is for you, you're so good at at this, but for me, whenever somebody would tell me something, before I read your book, my initial reaction was to relate to them. But all that I was doing was really actually in some way kind of like one upping them, which actually did the opposite of what I was intending to do. So while I'm thinking I'm relating, they're sitting here like, well, gosh, just give or give me my let me have my story. So you'll have to remind me what was the phrase?
SPEAKER_02It was like hijacking the conversation.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, but what was it? This I can relate, but back to you. What's the no message? Right?
SPEAKER_02Me too yeah, I remember she said now. Me too, but back to you.
SPEAKER_01Me too, but back to you. That's right.
SPEAKER_02And the premise of that, you think about it with the newscast, when all of a sudden the newscaster or the the correspondent. And if all of a sudden after they're finished, it's me, you know, it's back to you. And I think what we're talking about is how do you relate to somebody so that they know I can relate to that without hijacking the conversation and boomerang it back to you, or you can pause and say, hey, me too. Hey, but back to you. Which allows for them to realize, oh, there is resonance here, they are getting that. And sometimes they'll give you the freedom. Oh, no, no, go ahead. No, please tell me your story. But most of the time you said it earlier. It's my story, man. Let me finish my story.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's right. That's right. And also just while we're talking about this, as I've gotten a little bit wiser in my years, especially professional, think about how much more impactful it is when people find out your success, not through you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01You know what I mean? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02That's awesome, too. Because then, especially too, if you choose to be just a little bit vulnerable, that and they realize, wow, she is human. Like you mentioned, she does put her pants on the same way that I do. So let's talk about just for a second on that, Ashley. If somebody's asking questions, where's the balance for you at your level where all of a sudden you're at professional conversation and you can go personal on that? Because we talk about that in the first minute, think personal, middle minutes, think professional, last minute, think problem. Do you find that as a challenge for you at a VP level to talking to a peer or maybe somebody that is, I don't say subordinate, but you know what I'm saying? That's somebody that that rolls up into your org.
SPEAKER_01You know, you're not gonna like my answer because it is very subjective, right? There, I don't know that there really is a playbook for that. You know, uh you we you and I talk about uh vibe and chemistry, and part of this goes back to your being being observatory whenever you walk into a room. Real quick, I'm gonna side sidetrack for a sec. Please have you heard about this study? And it was where they took a person, they took two sweaty shirts, okay? And one was a person who went skydiving, right? Just like adrenaline fear, right? And the other one was somebody who was like going and lifting weights, like endorphins, right? They put, they hooked a bunch of people up to a bunch of things that monitor their vitals, and they said, Smell this shirt, smell this shirt. Now, they weren't able to like consciously say, Oh, this one smells worse, or this one smells like whatever. But guess what happened? The ones where they could smell the fear in the skydivers, like their heart rate went up. It was like fight or flight, their amygdala was firing off, whatever. And then the ones where it was just straight up endorphins working out, they were kind of like like peaceful, their heart rate rested, but all of the endorphins kind of went up in a good way. My point is that you asked me that question, and unfortunately, some of it's just trusting your gut and just kind of like the primal chemistry that you have with other people. And I don't mean romantic. When people hear chemistry and pheromones, they think romantic. I mean just a click. Feeling out the click, you know? So I don't know.
SPEAKER_02No, I and I think it's really good, actually, Ashley, because it just requires us to be all the more in the moment.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02I mean, we've got to be truly present. I use the phrase locked in listening. And the reason why I'm ADD attention distraction disorder, not deficit disorder. And as a result of that, you know, I can be active listening, empathetic. I mean, I love all those words. In the day, if I've got first five minutes here, I gotta lock in. Exactly. I gotta lock in. And if I'm locked in, then that means I'm fully present. They've got my attention, you've got that skill set, but also requires us just to be aware in the moment that we can react. We can ask a tell me more, tell me about, you know, little just give me a little bit more on this, or you realize, I do want to ask a personal question here, you know? And I think people really appreciate that, especially the higher the air gets with each other.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And, you know, you said something, it's just about being very intentional in those first five minutes. And and look, I I opened up with saying I'm I wasn't always really that good about remembering names. I really wasn't always that great about asking questions. And candidly, the younger I was, the more I did make it about me and my team and my results. Now, especially after reading your books, your books in our conversations, I think we've met like what, 10 times in person. Maybe I am so incredibly intentional. And even when I want to spew out, you know, well, my stuff, my stuff, I don't keep it genuine and I'm very intentional about the questions that I ask because I've realized that the questions and the intent is a direct correlation behind the meaningful impact of the connection.
SPEAKER_02That's so much there. And I really appreciate you saying that, which kind of leads me into this. I mean, the reality is you have been a high achiever. I mean, you were diamond club winner, you know, leading multiple states here. You know, you're one of the biggest companies on the planet. And you've got the resume there. So when you picked up these books and started to go through this, what does that say to someone who's listening right now? Maybe they're just a sales rep, maybe they are mid-level management, maybe they're a small business owner, maybe they're a VP who thinks this stuff is just optional. What would you say to them?
Human Connection In An AI World
SPEAKER_01I would say that self-improvement and connecting with people is not optional. Think about where we are right now in the world. We are uh in a complete digital and just in transformation. Think about AI, right? Robots taking over the world. But guess what? Robots will never ever be able to replicate the human connection that you and I have been talking about. So my challenge to anybody saying, I'm a CEO, everybody listens to me, I don't need that, I would actually argue that you might need it more than anybody because the higher you go, the more connections and people around you are required for you or your business and your relationships to be successful. So if anything, and you didn't pay me to say this, I would say, go get the book, go get all five of them. They're worth it.
SPEAKER_02Well, I appreciate that. So, and then the opposite of that, what's the cost if they don't, Ashley? What if they're all of a sudden just going, okay, that's great. You know, I got this. What's what could it cost them?
SPEAKER_01You know, you can only last for as long as the people around you are supporting or on the boat with you. So the second that the people around you that are supposed to be all up with you, when they realize that you're really not in it for them, you're in it for you. Slowly people will start jumping off of your boat and finding people that they can follow and that they believe in and that they know believe in them to be something greater. So there is a risk for not self-improving, and there is a risk for not really taking that next step to have intentional, meaningful connections.
SPEAKER_02Well, and I've I can speak firsthand for you. I think you walk a good balance of vulnerability, willingness to grow, but also season a moment to kind of just speak into somebody and believe into them. And I've been with numerous of your teams, many times with you, many times without you. And it's neat, Ashley, to have your reputation, which you've worked hard to build and you've worked hard to grow in, is more about how people feel around you, that they feel that you're on your on their side and that you're in it with them, not just for them, but with them. But I just want to say to that, kudos to you because you've worked at it. So I think you know, a lot of times people just assume that it's just with the title. It's not so. You and I've been around leaders like that, and the title only lasts so long with that. So, thoughts on that?
SPEAKER_01That's right. You just said it. The title only lasts so long. And trust me, when I say that there are people walking around and leaders walking around in this very company that literally hang their hat every day on their title alone, but don't treat people the way that they should be treated. No one wants to work for people like that, right? So you can't replicate authenticity and you can't replicate being genuine, but you can improve the way to which you connect with people if that doesn't come in Aly to you.
SPEAKER_02Great ending. Great ending. So, one last kind of a question here. What's one thing from Ailey Business Connector, first five minutes, that you pass along, whether in your own life or pass on to some of your team, maybe that you wish someone had told you earlier in your career. What would that be?
SPEAKER_01Okay. This one's actually pretty easy. So I wish that somebody told me earlier in my career that you don't have to rush to prove your value. You don't have to do that. Actually, the value comes from understanding the person you're talking to first. That's the true value.
SPEAKER_02That's excellent. I wish I could just close on that.
Rapid Fire Lessons From The Field
SPEAKER_02But I do have some rapid-fire questions that I want to just throw at you. First impulse, and if you want to add a little bit, you can on that. So number one, naturally good or bad at remembering names, you referenced that earlier.
SPEAKER_01Naturally bad, but after your book, very good.
SPEAKER_02Very, very true. And I would agree to that. Talker or listener, which one are you naturally?
SPEAKER_01Totally a talker. I cannot shut my mouth at all. But after your book, after your book, truly, I am so much better about being intentional about be quiet, be quiet, be quiet. Ask them questions, ask them questions.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's your gold. That is your absolute gold, absolutely, because you have a lot to say in a good way, a lot of value to add. But when you ask a question and you have the restraint to be locked in listening and a locked in listener on that of the tell me more, that right there requires you to be present and to listen.
SPEAKER_01So discipline. It requires a lot of discipline, especially for people like you and me who are I'm undiagnosed ADHD, but I absolutely cannot stay focused unless I really try.
SPEAKER_02I diagnose you hundreds of times. So uh third question more scripted or spontaneous?
SPEAKER_01You know, it's funny. I always like to be over-prepared for literally everything, but then I find whenever I'm over-prepared, I'm actually just more spontaneous. So I'd say spontaneous.
SPEAKER_02Here's a phrase, prepared. Be prepared to improvise. That's right. Maybe you should say that on the podcast. We've got it for the rest of the world to hear. Yes. Good or bad listener, if completely honest.
SPEAKER_01Completely honest, before my self-awareness journey with you, not the best listener. Kind of like just asking the questions but not letting them resonate. Now I have felt the pain of being back with the same person and not remembering. So now I'm intentional about listening and remembering.
SPEAKER_02Excellent.
SPEAKER_01Naturally bad. Now very good.
SPEAKER_02But I like how you tied it into pain. You know, feeling those moments right there and going, I don't want that again. I don't want it somebody make me feel that way. So very good on that. What is your pet peeve that just drives you crazy about people?
SPEAKER_01Oh man, so this is almost in like direct conflict with what we just talked about. But I've got to say it. So I have this thing with my team. I say T L D R and that means too long didn't read. So if I need something from you, if I can't read it and make a decision in about 30 seconds, I'll be like T L D R. Come back, right? For a talker, this is very hypocritical of me, but I do not like long-winded things unless it is a story, period. It's a peeve.
SPEAKER_02How do you know when you're starting to connect with another person?
SPEAKER_01Oh, you just feel it. You feel, and then they start talking more about themselves and they feel comfortable with you. It's just a it's just a click.
SPEAKER_02You just know a strength or maybe aka your superpower that you personally bring into a conversation.
SPEAKER_01Energy, always. Like I love meeting people for the first five minutes, is like arguably one of my most favorite things is I just want to just throw everything that I have into the conversation. And now that it's not just like bombing them with energy, now it's like bombing them with energy to then receive it back and remember, it's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_02Love that. That's awesome. And it's a gift. And I think if for those that are have unharnessed energy like you and I do, if we can learn to harness it, especially in the first five minutes, holy schneikes, it's exponential of the results that come from that. So that's awesome. What's one connection skill you wish everyone would work on?
SPEAKER_01Hey, and this is coming straight from for me, where one of my biggest, not strengths, weaknesses, it's listening. It's so easy to be watching someone do this, but not actually hearing and be thinking about the next question or response that you want to say. The power of listening, it's just so people just underestimate it so much. Listen, listen, listen. Two ears, one mouth. And I and I have to remind myself of that too. Like I am still to the day, I am very intentional about trying to do that. Listen to it.
SPEAKER_02No, I mean, intentionality, observational intelligence, discipline, desire to continue to grow. I mean, there's a theme that's going through that. I hope the listeners will listen to you on this. Last rapid fire, if you can master one connection skill overnight, what would it be and why?
SPEAKER_01This one would just be to have uh a memory of volume, just because I meet so many people and so many stories and so many names. I really am doing my best to remember all of it. I just wish I had a bigger capacity to remember everything.
Closing Advice For Sellers And Leaders
SPEAKER_02That's a good one. So let's wrap up with this question here. What's a closing thought? And I want you to do it kind of two different angles here. Okay. Closing thought idea that you have, first of all, for a seller, somebody who is trying to, you know, working their ways through it, they're in the trenches on an everyday basis. What's one word of encouragement or something you'd like to say to them?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so for a seller, I would say I go back to the words like authentic, genuine, and connection. Okay. Be intentional about the questions you ask to your peers, to your customers, right? Sales, to your boss, to your partners, right? The ecosystem around you as a seller determines your success moving up and making sales or winning or whatever that looks like for you. As a peer or even as somebody way higher than me, we talked about it earlier. You were never too good to microdose and learn new things, right? There's so much power in learning new things. You don't, you don't know it all. You don't know it all. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you realize that you can benefit from other people around you, especially people like you, Brian, in your books, it's uh power is endless.
SPEAKER_02Well, and the reality is Ashley, we know that the other person doesn't know everything. So even if they try to be opposed in that way. Calls with this if somebody's a leader right now, you know, at your peer or above within there, what's a word of encouragement you can give to them regarding our conversation?
SPEAKER_01Connect intentionally. Connect intentionally. Don't walk in a room knowing you're going to leave. Don't ask a question already knowing the answer. Don't assume that because you have a title that people respect you, right? Connect intentionally.
SPEAKER_02Love those two words. Ashley, you've been a joy. First of all, thanks for being an encouragement in my life, both professionally and personally. Selfishly, I'm humbled and honored by you reading my material. In fact, you even endorsed my last book, which I'm grateful for on there. And it's just, I think if anything, it's just super cool when you see somebody that you know, somebody that has a potential authority, who's actually using these pr principles and they're actually benefiting from them, which just gives me so much fire to continue this for other people to catch on. So thank you for your belief in the and everything we teach here and to your uh friendship.
SPEAKER_01Well, I've gotta I've gotta give you some love too. You know, you actually opened with this about, you know, having self-help books and just putting them on the shelf. And admittedly, I probably have about 50 on my bookshelf in my office at home. And yours are the only ones that I did read cover to cover. Truth. Not just because I'm doing your podcast and because they're not too uh TLDR. They're concise. They're um and they're great tips. And they really like truly, Brian, they have helped me so much in my career, both personally and professionally. And you are delightful. And I've loved our friendship too. Thank you for having me on.
SPEAKER_02Awesome. Thank you very much, Ashley. Until we meet again.
SPEAKER_01Until we meet again.
Cheat Sheet Resource And Next Steps
SPEAKER_02Well, officially, episode 28 is in the books, in and out. Nobody got hurt, mostly myself. I'd like to thank Ashley Siller for valuable time and investing into us now, whether you're a VP in leadership or a salesperson on the climb. I hope you walk away challenged and better as a result of this interview. And I want to announce to you a brand new resource that will be for every even-numbered episode moving forward, which is an interview cheat sheet that covers all the key highlights, quotes, and takeaways from that episode. And I'm a big proponent of leveraging the new intel we receive into immediate action that we become doers, not just heers. And you can find this free resource in the episode show notes. So if you want to keep the momentum going with Ashley Siller's interview, this is the perfect next step. Pick up this new cheat sheet in today's show notes. And a quick reminder to follow and subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you're watching on YouTube, don't forget to subscribe and leave a comment. Let me know what resonated with you on today's interview. And as my Chicago Bears chant, good, better, best, never let it rest till your good gets better and your better gets best. As my father used to say, thanks for coming. But most of all, thanks for leaving. I'm out. You got this now. Now it's your time to do something with this effort. And always remember to leverage your first five minutes to build connection. You got this.
