Parenting Shrink Wrapped
Parenting Shrink Wrapped is your all-access pass to the wild and wonderful journey of raising kids! Hosted by Dr. Melissa Wellner, a double board-certified psychiatrist and child and adolescent psychiatrist, and Samantha Straub, a licensed therapist, educator, and parenting coach, this dynamic duo brings a perfect mix of professional expertise and mom humor. With five kids between them—and thousands more they’ve supported in their professional roles—they’re here to share practical strategies and real-life stories that will help you navigate everything from tantrums to teen drama. Whether you're handling sleepless nights or the chaos of carpool, you'll find relatable advice and a good laugh along the way. Strap in, because parenting is a ride, and we're here to make it a little smoother!
Parenting Shrink Wrapped
Is Your Child Ready for the Latest Trend? Let's talk about Ebikes, technology and more.
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In this episode of Parenting Shrink Wrapped, Sam Straub and Dr. Melissa Wellner unpack one of the biggest parenting trends of the summer and explain why this conversation goes far beyond bikes.
While e-bikes offer fun, freedom, and independence, they also introduce new questions about child development, executive functioning, peer influence, and risk-taking.
Sam and Melissa discuss why children's brains haven't changed even though technology has, and why parents should consider developmental readiness before handing over the handlebars.
In This Episode
- The different classes of e-bikes
- Executive functioning and adolescent decision-making
- Peer pressure and risk-taking
- Helmet safety and traffic awareness
- Questions to ask before buying an e-bike
- Helping kids build independence safely
Whether your family owns an e-bike or is simply considering one, this episode provides practical tools for making thoughtful parenting decisions that prioritize safety, responsibility, and long-term growth.
As always, thank you for listening. We love you, we love your kids, and thank you for raising the next generation of world changers.
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A lot of kids have the ability to ride and you need to question whether they have the judgment to make these appropriate big decisions that can be dangerous. If your child juts into traffic on one of these bikes or makes a wrong move and you're going 20 to 28 miles per hour or higher on a bicycle, the risk for getting hurt is pretty high. Welcome to Parenting Shrink Rapht, where two mental health professionals will get real with you about the joys and the challenges of raising children and teens. I'm your co-host, Dr. Melissa Wellner, a double board certified psychiatrist and child and adolescent psychiatrist and mom of three.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Samantha Straub, licensed clinical counselor, longtime educator, parenting coach, and mother of two. Together, we'll explore all things parenting, from handling monumental meltdowns to first-time drivers. We're all about giving you practical strategies that work. Parenting Shrinkwrapped is more than just advice. You'll sit in with us for compassionate conversations about the complexities and the absurdities of parenting. We're here to support you and your kiddos.
SPEAKER_01So grab your cup of coffee, take a deep breath, buckle up, and join us for this journey called Parenthood. We'll laugh, learn, and commiserate about the joys and messiness of raising kids. And if anybody follows Sam on social media, um, you know, recently she went on a little bit of a rant, maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think a very valid one about e-bikes. Um, Sam and I live in an area where there's actually a really nice trail system that's very long. Um, but these e-bikes have invaded every trail system, the roads, the parking lots, and almost everywhere in our area. And it's driving us bonkers.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we are the get off my lawn girls today. Yeah, like this is welcome. Well, please join us in our rant. But I'm we'll try, I'm trying to keep it measured because I want to I want to keep the kid perspective in in play here. But we're gonna be talking about e-bikes, and um, this could be an episode that you end up sharing with your kids if you're like here, just listen to these ladies.
SPEAKER_01Well, and if you're like my husband, he wants an e-bike. Um for himself or for your children?
SPEAKER_00For himself, for himself.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's different. That's like I have no problem with adults managing these things. No, but I think some parents also the reaction is, oh, that's really cool. They think we're gonna they are cool, right? So I don't want to take out that aspect of it. Like it is a cool, fun toy, I guess. Right.
SPEAKER_00So yes, they're amazing, they're fun. They also like I walk in those trails and I hear and I'm like, oh, is am I gonna get run over by a 12-year-old? And boom, and I usually almost do. Like, that's because they don't know how to steer far enough away and they don't know to slow down around trap pedestrians, and yeah.
SPEAKER_01And some of them go so fast, they're it's like they're just on motorcycles. Like some of them go really fast. The trail system by Sam and I has a 15 mile per hour speed limit. And that's even if you're on a regular pedal bike, you're not supposed to go faster than it's.
SPEAKER_00I could feel like my arm hairs getting winded. Yeah, like so we want to have an actual conversation about this. Let's have a conversation about e-bikes, even though it may be apparent where we stand on the matter from the get-go, we're gonna level out a conversation. Um, because this has been the summer of the e-bike. The e-bike era is upon us, and I think sometimes when an era is upon us, we we think we just have to go go with it. Um, and that's the you know, just because a manufacturer invents something doesn't mean we have to endorse it or embrace it or buy it for our kids simply because it exists and a lot of people are doing it. So, so let's talk.
SPEAKER_01I'm resisting that urge for other things for my kids, like the current nido craze too, that's going on. I don't know what that is, but say $20 for a squishy thing.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. So an e-bike is different. Also, it's very that's a it's super expensive. Like an e-bensite, no, it's no cheap investment, right?
SPEAKER_01So um Sam, when we were growing up, and you're a little bit older than I am, this wasn't like a consideration. You had a bike spot. I had a bicycle.
SPEAKER_00I rode it all over the place too. I I it was my source of transportation and um and also a source of movement, you know. Like I would show up sweaty at my friends' houses because I rode my bike there.
SPEAKER_01But on an e-bike, depending on the type of bike, you might be pedaling or pedal assist, but you're also not having to put in the same amount of physical effort as you would on a regular bike.
SPEAKER_00That's something that worries me about, and and I who knows where this is going. This is like a back of my mind worry, not the top of mind worry. But I think of other inventions that came our way and we didn't realize what some of the long-term consequences would be until we started facing them as a society. And I wonder if the advent of e-bikes is going to be even less movement for our children, which is not good. Right, right. I mean, we already have a crisis of of um gosh, what's the word I'm looking for, where you don't move your body. Um what's it called when you have sedentary. You're sedentary. Yes! Very menopausal brain took over right there, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I also think, and this relates to some other episodes that we've done, and when we've talked about executive functioning, child development hasn't changed. We might have this great new technology and this great new e-bike out there, but the executive functioning of a miller's middle schooler hasn't changed just because we have these fancy new e-bikes. So their decision making and responsibility and impulse control and motor planning and recognizing danger and acknowledging road rules hasn't changed.
SPEAKER_00Also, I think something agree, agree, agree. And one of the things that we know, there's research around adolescent risk taking. And we know that when kids are in packs of friends, their tolerance for risk taking goes up because they because of this audience factor. And there are studies to show this, like, but the studies are around, like you put a kid in a, this was done by Larry Steinberg out of Temple University, and you put an adolescent in a driving simulator, and without a perceived audience, the kid's risk taking is not that, it's not tons greater than an adult. But when you bring peers in and you have the peers say into a microphone, hey, we're watching you, buddy. Good luck in the simulator, so the kid knows there are peers watching, he's much more likely to push it at yellow lights, to take driving risks in a simulator. So he's more accident prone. That's in a driving simulator. So we know that this extends into real life, which is why your kid can be like, I know what to do, I know what the right decision was, and I didn't make it. And the reason was because friends were around. And so these e-bikes are a major they they I mean, certainly kids can get from A to B by themselves, but they're riding in packs, which means they're susceptible to that.
SPEAKER_01Like, I I say, like, when you're bad kids or purposefully reckless, this is just psychology.
SPEAKER_00Generally, psychology. Right. They're just like their their friends are around, and if someone makes a choice to take a risk, then the rest are gonna be like, well, I guess okay, like I have more tolerance for it in a crowd. And and and then we may look at that and say, like, this is the get off my lawn, ladies, you know, like you, you kids today. But like I have seen kids um go out my window, pop a wheelie in the front of in the middle of my street, which I can see from where I'm sitting right here, and I'm like, oh my god, that kid's gonna fly over backwards. Like, I'm afraid he's gonna flip off the end of his bike and crack his back of his head. And well, they don't have helmets on either, which drives me. This young man did when I saw this, but like he was driving down the road in the middle of the road, popping a wheelie. Like, can you see when you're doing that? Can you control the bike well? Like, I don't understand how steering works when you're popping a wheelie if you steer from the front of the bike, right? Like, uh anyway, there's there's all sorts of risk factors. Speaking of bikes, news to me came in the form of a flyer that my neighbor left me after that e-bike rant. And this was me, this was information to me too. I didn't I didn't know this stuff either. That our our local police were distributing um on one of our trails today, and I want to explain the difference between the types of e-bikes because you may think you're kid you're buying your kid an e-bike, but it really might be an e-moto, apparently. So three types of e-bikes. So there's class, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Go, use multiple classes here. There's multiple classes here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So class one is a bike providing pedal assistance only. The motor works only while you're pedaling. So you are basically the fuel for the motor, and it stops assisting at 20 miles an hour, which is still fairly a decent speed. That's a good plan. Right. So safest starting point because you still have to pedal. So you still have to ride the bike to get it to move. Yeah. Um, so these don't go on their own. Class two at 20 miles an hour.
SPEAKER_00Class two do go on their own, throttle assisted, so you can get it up to 20 miles an hour without pedaling. Which means you have sitting there move like running. That's to me, riding in the head. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's more like driving, right? Right. And so that means that I don't know, with the with pedaling, you are you may have more of a sense of speeding up or slowing down. I don't know. It seems like throttle assisted or something.
SPEAKER_01But you have the the handling of the bike, then have you if you're if you don't have to pedal, have you really mastered riding a bike? Because the whole riding a bike involves coordination of all of these pieces together.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And then so that's class two. And class three is pedal assists but up to 28 miles an hour. So if you have a fast, if you have a fast a bike that goes above 28 miles an hour, it's no longer an e-bike, it's considered an electric motorcycle or a moped, e-moto. And those, at least in Maryland, and you'll have to check your states, are only allowed to be ridden um on roads with a valid license, registration, and insurance. And helmets are required. So if you're if a bike goes above 28 miles an hour, you have to have a license to drive it. Which means these middle schoolers are not allowed to drive them. Yeah. Which is I'm sure why the police were on the path handing these flyers out today.
SPEAKER_01Sam, is the speed limit on your street 25 or 30? Because 25. The street, I yeah, I think my street is 25 too. So these bikes are going faster than the speed limit on our residential streets.
SPEAKER_00Yes. So if that doesn't give you pause, um, and you know, we're not, I don't think like parents who have invested in this for their kids did so in any kind of like reckless way, you know. So um I certainly don't want to shame parents who who are who went down this route thinking that this was fine and harmless and now they're maybe they may have to walk this back. Or maybe they don't feel like they have to walk this back. Maybe they're like, oh lady, get with the times, you know? Um which is by the way, one of the comments I got after my rant. Um someone said, get with the times or they'll pass you by. And I was like, they're passing me by on my walk and they're scaring the crap out of me. And this this may be like that may be the truth on some matters, but I feel like this issue is kind of like we just because a manufacturer makes something appealing and that kids catch on as a trend doesn't mean we should invest in that technology. And if we haven't learned anything from the proliferation of iPhones and now the research that's like just to like see if we can delay giving it to our kids so that they can have a tech-free play-based childhood, we know that now. We know we shouldn't have endorsed that cool, fun technology. I just gotta wonder if we're going the same direction. Plus, we're seeing injury. Did you see Toy Story 5?
SPEAKER_01No, because I'm old and the times are passing me by. Well, for all the parents out there who have seen Toy Story 5, it's the same thing. The whole premise of the movie is that all these young kids are playing on tablets and not socializing face to face. They're socializing through online games.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_01And the negative potential impact about how to make friends.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Well, so that's the that's the another example. Disney Pixar's making a making a point. Um and now, I just want to also point out that if I'm a middle school or a young high schooler, I probably would have wanted one of these. Oh heck yeah. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool. It would have allowed um greater range of freedom, which I was like always looking for. You know, I wanted the independence. Um if other kids who you admire have them, it allows you to kind of connect with them in a way, right? My middle schooler wants one, Sam. And parents may have totally wants one. Yeah. And if you live in a neighborhood where there's like fun stuff or things that a kid might find appealing to do, but it involves you having to drive them to that thing, and an e-bike would reduce your trips to whatever schlepping destination there is, you might be tempted to say, oh, you know, like I'm gonna, this is gonna get my kid out of the house more. And God, far that's a pretty great priority to to want your kid out of the house, right? That's I'm not gonna knock that, and so you have to balance what's the right answer here because kids should get out of the house. Yeah. Anyway, if I'm a middle schooler, there's a lot about this technology that I would be magnetized to, so I don't want to minimize that.
SPEAKER_01Well, my middle scholar schooler, who is actually on a mountain biking team and can avidly ride a bicycle, currently does have an e-scooter. We haven't done the e-bike yet.
SPEAKER_00Right. Well, and those go max 20 miles an hour, and even those are a little iffy, but they just they there's not you can't take the e-scooter as many places. I don't know, it's harder. It's it's yes, you can't go on the road.
SPEAKER_01The the the class three, you're on the road.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's a little more rickety to ride, yes. So that's that's good that you can't be on a scooter on the road. I think that's fine. And again, I don't have a problem with e-bikes themselves. Your husband wants one more power to him, or less, less power if that's what he wants, right? But like, but um but he has these other people. He likes the assisted transportation aspect of it. Yeah, and there's some people also who are like, I there's some environmental piece to it, like get from A to Z without driving a car. Gas. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So um the problem I have is the behavior that happens with the e-bikes, and that behavior is totally age appropriate for the kids who are that that problematic behavior is totally age appropriate for the kids. So in instead of saying to the kids, like, I'm gonna give you an e-bike, but you have to behave like you're 20, 10 years older than you are, which they cannot do, it's upon us. They're not capable yet. Yeah, it's incumbent upon us to not give them the e-bike. Like that's and to be to be able to say no. And that's hard if you're kidding.
SPEAKER_01If you do give one, we've gotta, you've gotta teach your kid some basic principles first. Like, I don't just like to be on an e-bike without a helmet. Like, there's to me, um there's no excuse not to wear a helmet. My my husband doesn't get on a bike without a helmet. I don't get on a bike without a helmet on.
SPEAKER_00The one time I was grounded in high school was because I rode my bike to a friend's house without a helmet. I did so many worse things, but that was the one that my parents, that's the hill my parents chose to die on. Maybe because they were like, you could have died on a hill. That who knows? But that that was that was they were angry at me for that one. Um yeah, and so just like anything that a kid needs, if if you're gonna go this route, and obviously we're not in favor, but if you if you go, if you if the horse is out of the barn or whatever that expression is, or you you don't you disagree with us, then well let me give you some, let's give, let us give you some things to think about, right? Ask preemptive questions of your kid, like give them practice. Well, what would you do here? Or did you see that e-bike go by? How did that that rider handle the situation? How would you have handled it? Like give them anticipatory questions or anticipatory scenarios that they could face. What do you do if your friends dare you for a race? What if everyone decides not to wear helmets? What are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_01What if some friend wants to jump on the back of your bike and you're you don't have a two-seater bike? Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Um okay, well, so that that should be a rule too, by the way. No no friends on the bike.
SPEAKER_01I think no friends on the bike, I think they have to understand the basic traffic laws. Like the trail that Sam and I are referring to has stop signs on it at crosswalks and stuff. So like you have to stop with the stop sign and look more.
SPEAKER_00No phones while riding. That's another one.
SPEAKER_01No phones, no phones, right?
SPEAKER_00Respect your neighborhood. Um, but this is just this is really about like obviously we I am totally in favor of giving kids increasing independence that's commensurate with their level of maturity. We want kids to explore this world, we want them to have the confidence to butt up.
SPEAKER_01We want them to be physically active and get outside and get off the technology.
SPEAKER_00Yep, we want all of that. Um, but and this just comes with some risks, some significant risks. And I just wonder if we're gonna have to. Well, it's because I always advocate never say butt. You know, if you're a parent, just eliminate doing it. Uh-huh. So I switched to and, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um so a lot of kids have the ability to ride, and you need to question whether they have the judgment to make these appropriate big decisions that can be dangerous. Unfortunately, like if your child juts into traffic on one of these bikes or makes a wrong move and you're going 20 to 28 miles per hour or higher on a bicycle, the risk for getting hurt is pretty high.
SPEAKER_00I just had a mom tell me about one of a peer in her kid's grade was riding an e-bike and got into an accident, fell off, and like skinned up her face and lost teeth. Ow. Skin her face and awful. Awful. Awful. This is a middle schooler. Like horrible, right? So we cannot eliminate every risk. And we cannot prevent technology from coming out of the woodwork that is just new and exciting and that manufacturers are trying something. So we must prepare our kids for the risk, think through the consequences, and then help them make good choices when we're not there. And if your kids do not demonstrate the ability to do so, it's probably not wise for you to give them permission to enter an environment where the risk is too high for their decision-making level.
SPEAKER_01Just a basic parenting principle that extends way beyond e-bikes, Sam. We can apply that to lots of things.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So do we leave it at that? That's our that's our e-bike rant. Voila! The age of the e-bike, the e-bike era is upon us, and that's what we think about it. If you've listened, you know we love you. You know we love our kids, you love your kids, and we thank you for raising the next generation of world changers, even if that means saying no to their request for an e-bike. More next time. Thank you for joining this episode. Thanks for joining us on this wild ride called Parenthood here at Parenting Shrink Route. We hope today's episode gave you some useful tools and maybe even a few laughs to help you navigate the twists and turns of raising teens and kids.
SPEAKER_01Remember, parenting is a journey, not a destination. And no matter where you are on the road, we're here to help you stay on course. Whether it's monumental meltdowns, teenage turmoil, or just the everyday chaos, you don't have to travel this path alone.
SPEAKER_00So until next time, keep your seatbelt fastened, your sense of humor intact, and your eyes on the road. We'll be back soon with more compassionate conversations and practical strategies to support you and your family.
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SPEAKER_00If you have suggestions for topics you'd like to see us cover in the future, feel free to send us an email at parenting shrinkraft at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_01Until we meet again, take care and enjoy the ride!