The Divorce Decision Podcast
If you’re contemplating divorce, wondering whether your marriage can be rebuilt, or trying to make a clear decision without acting out of panic, fear, guilt, or pressure, this podcast is for you.
The Divorce Decision Podcast is for people in unhappy, uncertain, or emotionally painful marriages who are asking one of the hardest questions of their lives:
Should I stay, or should I go?
Hosted by Kari Hoskins, a professionally certified relationship coach with a Master’s Degree in Interpersonal Communication, this podcast takes an honest, balanced look at the real dynamics behind divorce decisions. We talk about the marriage patterns, communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, conflict cycles, resentment, trust issues, infidelity, and unresolved pain that lead couples to this crossroads.
You’ll hear conversations about:
- how couples get here
- what rebuilding a marriage actually looks like
- what separation and divorce can look like
- how to communicate when everything feels fragile
- how to make a thoughtful, clear, regret-aware decision
What makes this podcast different is simple: there is no agenda here.
No pushing you to leave. No pressuring you to stay.
Because the truth is: leaving is scary, and staying is scary.
This podcast is here to help you slow down, understand what’s really happening in your relationship, and make one of the most painful and important decisions of your life with more clarity, honesty, and self-trust.
Kari has advanced training in couples coaching, trauma, relational coaching, conflict, infidelity, PTSD, and addiction, offering compassionate, grounded support for people facing the heartbreak, confusion, and complexity of relationship crossroads.
If you are struggling in your marriage, questioning divorce, or trying to figure out whether repair is possible, The Divorce Decision Podcast will give you practical insight, emotional clarity, and a more balanced conversation about staying, leaving, and everything in between.
The Divorce Decision Podcast
Ep. 41: Want To Stop Feeling Resentful In Your Marriage? (Use the 3% Rule)
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In this episode, I'm breaking down a deceptively simple tool that can change the emotional temperature of your marriage fast: the 3% Rule.
If your partner is “97% responsible” for what’s wrong, where is your 3%—the part you can own, influence, and change? This isn’t about taking the blame or excusing bad behavior. It’s about taking responsibility in a relationship in a way that reduces resentment, lowers defensiveness, and gives you real agency instead of staying stuck in the blame game.
I share how I learned this concept (inspired by Katherine Woodward Thomas and the work of Unconscious Uncoupling) after my first marriage ended—and how it helped me let go of lingering anger, regret, and bitterness so she could show up better as a co-parent and in other relationships.
What you’ll learn:
- What the 3% Rule is (and why it’s not self-blame—it’s leverage)
- How the 3% Rule creates emotional peace by reducing resentment, blame, defensiveness, and regret
- The biggest clue you’re stuck in the blame game (“they, they, they…” thinking) and what to do instead
- How to identify your recurring negative thoughts, triggers, and patterns to find your 3%
- What your 3% can look like in common dynamics:
- Feeling controlled → speaking up, setting and holding boundaries
- Dealing with lies/omissions → creating emotional safety so honesty is possible
- Feeling consistently let down → turning unspoken expectations into clear agreements
- Why vague requests (“I need more help”) don’t work—and how to make specific, actionable asks
- How to stop ignoring the data when your partner has a track record (late, avoidant, forgetful) and respond with boundaries and/or support
- The “missing step” that keeps couples stuck: not closing the loop with a clear “next time” plan
- A real-life example of how the 3% Rule can shift intimacy issues, desire, and disconnection in a marriage
Should We Get A Divorce Quiz: https://kari-hoskins-coaching-llc.kit.com/9e533cdd68
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Website: https://www.karihoskinscoaching.com