Our March money diaries: Does our spending match our values? / 68

We love a good “look at your numbers” moment — but what happens when you take it one step further and ask, does this actually reflect the life I want? 

In this Insiders-only episode, we map our real-life spending against our core values. And honestly, it felt a little vulnerable.

We start by sharing our personal values, then break down exactly where our money went this month. Finally, we talk through what felt aligned… and what didn’t. From therapy and travel to yoga memberships, beauty spending, and supporting local businesses, this conversation is equal parts practical and reflective — the kind that helps us zoom out and course-correct without shame.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing okay” with money but are still wondering if you’re actually making the most of it, this episode is for you.

✨ Episode Timestamps ✨

[00:00] Why we tried this exercise + how the Rich Life Journal sparked it
[03:00] Defining our core values (and how we each interpreted the prompt)
[07:00] Emily’s spending breakdown — rent, vacation, and a low-spend month

[10:00] Cassidy’s spending breakdown — travel, therapy, and higher “fun” spending
[14:00] Spending that felt aligned with our values (and why it felt worth it)
[19:00] Purchases that didn’t align, even when they seemed small
[21:00] Emotionally charged spending — therapy, relationships, and tradeoffs
[27:00] Spending we feel embarrassed about (and the stories behind it)
[31:00] Which values feel aspirational vs. fully reflected right now
[34:00] Supporting local businesses, conscious spending, and the “tithing” mindset
[40:00] What we’re changing moving forward — and how we’re course correcting

✨ Resources  ✨

• Ramit Sethi’s Rich Life Journal
• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
• You Don’t Need a Budget by Dana Miranda

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey girlies, if you heard our recent episode with Michelle Malower, you know that she surprised us with a couple of journals to reflect on our finances. The journal she sent us was Ramit Saiti's Rich Life Journal. And the entire first section is all about thinking about what you want your life to look like and then getting your money to actually line up with that. So there was this exercise in the journal that kind of has you map out how you spend your money and your time and reflect on whether or not that matches with your intentions. And we thought it was a really interesting exercise that we wanted to try and kind of reflect on and then share with our listeners.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Also, as a quick side note, if you have heard some squeaks in the background so far, uh Emily's adorable corgi clover is up to no good. Because this is an insider episode, we thought that maybe you would also find her little noises in the background as endearing as I, Cassidy, have been finding them while we've been recording. So yeah, that's Clover. That's Clover. So yeah, Emily and I were very excited to try this exercise. We went through the workbook. We're going to talk through our thoughts. This also reminded us this journal prompt of the slight edge and how we're always course correcting to get back to the life that we want. Because I think so many times it's so easy to be stuck on autopilot when you're just trying to live out your day-to-day. And so exercises like this can be really helpful because it can help reorient you toward what you value and what's important. And it's good to check in on those things from time to time. Plus, it is very, very interesting to see what people spend money on. And it feels vulnerable to even look back on this data. I know it did for me, I know it did for Emily, but which had us thinking that this would be a really fun episode to try out.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Tired of scrolling endlessly through conflicting financial advice that leaves you more confused than when you started? Welcome to the Finance Girlies Podcast, your cozy corner for all things finance. I'm your host, Emily.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

And I'm your host, Kathy. We're both finance writers for brands like Forbes Advisor, USA Today Blueprint, and Yahoo Finance. Throughout our careers of personal lives, we have come to one realization. When we keep our money worries to ourselves, we end up feeling alone. That's why each episode we tackle those burning questions you've been afraid to ask with no judgment, no jargon, just real talk about real money. Ready to finally get answers? Let's dive in.

SPEAKER_02 2:45

So we wanted to start by before we even looked at our spending for the month, start by kind of focusing in on what we value. So we each went through this exercise and came up with five or six core values that are really important to us. So we'll start there and then we'll kind of get into the numbers and the spending and see if our spending matches up. Do you want to start with your values? Sure. So I came up with six kind of primary values. And I think a lot of them, like I could further split up into more specifics. One of my values is security. And I kind of lumped that in with like safety. And so that looks like having a safe home, safe car to get places. Another one is home and like loving the home I live in, making it comfortable and cozy. Another is relationships. So to me that includes like friends, family, and community. Health is another one. So like eating good food and cooking and being active. Another um is like travel and adventure. So going on vacations, having new experiences, spending time outdoors, and then finally learning slash reading. And I guess I would lump in like self-development. So like I spend a lot of time reading. I like to take classes. So I just like to learn new things. That's also very important to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah. I don't think that my I well, let me start by saying I feel like I interpreted the like what my values are as like what do I know to be true about myself almost? Which that phrasing specifically, Emily and I took a business trip to Mexico back in January and we answered some reflection questions. And that was one of their reflection questions. And I felt like the way that it was phrased really made me think by the end of answering it that, like, oh, I think these things are so important to me because they're like a value of mine, you know, like this is what I know about myself to be true. And so therefore, these are the things I'm willing to spend money on. So, in no particular order, I really value having a cute and cozy home that feels like a reflection of who I am. I also really value supporting local businesses, especially local artists. I really value traveling to see friends and family and investing in those relationships in person and then also investing in the in-person friendships that I already have. I also really value having money set aside to like I have a gift category, for example, and so this could look like donating money to an organization that I care about, giving money to friends who are going through a hard time, giving gifts on birthdays, just like making people feel loved. And more specifically, when I answered this question in Mexico in January, I think I more eloquently said it then. But I said if I had all of the money in the world, I would use it for good and to support all the people and causes I care about. And so I feel like that's a more buttoned-up version of that value. And then also one of my values is prioritizing my mental health and continuing to learn and unlearn and work on myself. And that's because I'm very committed to being a lifelong grower and I never want to stop that. And then also uh one of my values is nurturing my hobbies and passions, kind of tapping into my inner child and making space for more like whimsy enjoy in my life. I love that. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

So for this exercise, we looked at our spending for the month of March up to this point. Today is March 23rd. So we're a little over three weeks into the month. And we listed everything we spent money on this month. And then we kind of took a look at like what were our five biggest spending categories, what discretionary spending did we do this month? You know, what was like, were there any expenses that stood out? And got into and later we'll get into some questions, kind of reflecting on how these purchases match up with our values. But first, do you want to just go through and maybe share um like the highlights of our spending?

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Yeah, that sounds big and scary. So buckle up, we're gonna get into some numbers. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

So I'll start. My biggest expense by far this month and usually every month is rent. My rent currently is$2,000. So that is far and away the biggest expense of my month so far. Um, other bigger expenses, the next highest was vacation. We went on a little family trip and um we didn't spend a ton of money. We stayed with family. We had bought our flights months and months ago. We didn't like spend a lot of money on this trip either, but we did spend$700 total for eating out groceries, an Uber, ice cream, and then we boarded our dog for the first time. So that was a big chunk of that as well. And then my next biggest payments were all kind of around like the two to three hundred dollar mark groceries. Uh, we spent almost three hundred dollars. That's a little less than normal because we went on vacation and obviously didn't buy regular groceries for a week. Utilities around$200, and my regular car payment, which is about$270. So those are kind of my biggest expenses. Everything else this month is pretty standard. I will say I think I spent less this month. I before we had decided to do this episode, I had kind of made a goal for myself to have a low spend month. And I did a lot of like what I would call my fun spending using gift cards. My birthday was last month, and I had a few of those to burn. So I like bought some books, went out to dinner, went out to drinks with friends, got coffee, things like that using some gift cards. Aside from that, I will touch on the discretionary spending because I think it's an interesting, you know, that's kind of where like your values often show up. Yeah. So aside from those um like gift card purchases, I spent a total of$113 so far this month. So the majority of that, about$70 was spent on my yoga membership,$20 was spent on uh tuning up some skis, and my husband and I split that cost because we share skis, and then$26 on clothing. So that's kind of like the bird's eye view of my spending this month.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Okay. Feels pretty good to me. There is a constant running story. I feel like anytime you and I break down our monthly spending, where I'm like, I feel like you are barely spending anything compared to me. And I think that this will ring true because in just seeing your numbers, I'm like, wow, you are so good at keeping your expenses low.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Mm. That's I mean, it's all relative, you know. It really is. Sometimes I feel like that. Like looking at this, I feel like that. But other times I'm like, you know, I live in a rural area. There's not like restaurants everywhere and like things to spend money on. So true. So like it only makes sense that, you know, there's just like fewer places to spend my money. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

I also think back to like I know you've mentioned in a previous episode too that like you're you didn't know if moving to a new place in December was a financially wise decision because it was gonna be more money than your current place. But now hearing that your rent is$2,000, I'm like, my rent hasn't even been that cheap since probably like 2018. So I'm like, you're doing great.

unknown 10:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

But I do like the context is everything though, because like that was my rent in a bigger city versus yours in a more rural area, so it can feel much bigger. Yeah. So okay, shall we get into my numbers? Yes. Give us the the overview. Yeah. Same as Emily, far and away. My largest expense every single month is rent and utilities. And so my rent and utilities are about$2,750 a month. And I will throw out the caveat that I live in an apartment and there are some extras that I have to pay for. I pay, I think,$30 a month for cat rent. I also pay$190 a month to park in my parking garage. And then this total also includes water and electricity. So the$2,750 thing. I I always struggle to remember what my actual base rent is because I never get charged like just my base rent, but I think my base rent is around$2,400 a month. Um, and then my next biggest purchase or expense every month is my car payment. And my car payment is$508.50. And that feels fine to me. Emily and I have another insider episode on our car purchases and what those loans looked like. And I felt like I was very intentional at the time about choosing a car payment that felt very small and reasonable for me because a lot of car payments nowadays are average out to be at least$700. So$508 felt great. And then my third largest expense, actually, this is this is my large expense number two. It's slightly higher than my car payment, is my travel for the month. Today, I've spent$559 this month on travel. So it's technically my second largest expense. And that's because the first week of March I took a cruise. And just to show like how my values kind of intertwine into this, um, the cruise was like a surprise trip. My my dad and stepmom are going on a cruise, so is my younger sister. And then I kind of like surprised my dad and stepmom by showing up on this cruise. My sister and I had planned it, so that kind of feeds back into my value of like wanting to nurture the relationships and being willing to travel for that. But yeah, and then I also just got back from driving, doing a road trip to Kansas City, which is like six and a half hours away from where I live. Um, and so there were some expenses wrapped up in that. So I technically did two trips this month for about$560. My fourth and fifth big biggest expenses were therapy. I've spent right at$400 on like therapy, like my medical category, and then$365 on what I would consider beauty. And that's the one where I'm like, I don't know why it's so high. So yeah, just to recap, rent utilities, travel, car payment, therapy, beauty. Have in like my five biggest categories.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Okay. So now that we know kind of where our money went this month, let's dive into some questions to just kind of reflect on that spending and see how it lined up with our values. So, question number one where did we spend our discretionary money on this month? For me, that was yoga, skis, clothes, and vacation.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

What about you? So many things. I'm like, I forgot to say this a second ago, but the total for my like fun spending category in my budget was just shy of$1,000. So like$988. And this does encompass dining out, gifts, coffee shops, any accidental, like I have a whoopsie category in my budget where it's like whoopsie. And my thing for this month was that I lost, I thought I lost my AirPods while I was on this cruise, spent$97 replacing them only to find my actual uh AirPods when I got back a week later. But it's like beauty, dining out clothes, home things, coffee shops, gifts. So it is a lot of things. And also I'm like, you're spending almost a thousand dollars a month on things that would probably just go into your like this brings me joy category, and that feels like a lot of money to be spending on joy. Like, I want you to have joy, and also that feels like a lot. Does this include vacations too? No, vacations on top of that. So, really, it's like$1,500 if you include that too. I'm like, that's a decent freaking chunk of money, girlfriend. Well, let's keep digging.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Okay. Okay. What purchases felt aligned with our values? I can go first. Okay. I feel like for the most part, all of my discretionary spending felt aligned this month. Yoga, skis, like those fit into my like health and adventure values. Those are like two activities I really enjoy. Vacation is something I value. It was also a vacation with family. So, like, you know, prioritizing those relationships, spending time with people. And then I will say that back to the yoga. Like, sometimes I feel a little guilty about that expense just because it seems like a lot of money for like I pay 70 bucks a month for four classes, and like technically I could just do it for free at home. I just find that I don't enjoy it nearly as much or like get nearly as much out of it when I'm doing it at home.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yeah, I think for me, I mean, the purchases that felt most aligned with my values, I feel like I'm doing a great job at spending on travel, right? Like on both of those trips, for example, I was going to see people that I love dearly that I do not live near, and I was pouring into those relationships. That feels very in alignment. Spending money on therapy feels very in alignment. I want to continue to learn, unlearn, grow, give myself the best life possible, be curious about myself. That fills that bucket. I also spent some money on gifts, and part of this is like a recurring donation that I make to an organization every month. But I also spent like$27 on a scarf that I saw that reminded me of someone, and I was like, I really want to mail this to them randomly just to let them know that I'm thinking about them. So a little thing like that. And then also coffee shops, like it feels very important. I think since you and I both work from home to like get out, and I have found that if I don't specifically give myself coffee shop money, then I feel guilty because I'm like, you've got caffeine at home. You don't need to leave your apartment, like you should work there. But no. That feels really important. And then also like cozy home things feels very in alignment. And most of the cozy home things that I purchased this month were like I was on vacation and I went into the store where all of these local artists have, you know, handmade things, and I like saw a piece of wall art that I really wanted. I like went to a farmer's market when I was on vacation, and there was a little booth that was selling like little handmade planters, you know, that this guy had made. So it's like it's all things like that that feel very in alignment with me, like wanting to support local artists too. So I don't know, that that felt in alignment as well. What about where spending did not reflect our values?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

For me, this was clothes, and I know I didn't spend a lot. I I know I did not spend a lot on clothing this month. Part of that is because another gift card I had. That white covered part of the purchase. Yeah, I got this gift card to a store that I don't have here where I live. I was somewhere else that had this store. I felt like, well, this is my chance to use this gift card. I kind of bought some pants a l I don't know, a little impulsively. They're really comfortable. I will wear them, but it's they're just not something I think I would have ever bought had I not had this gift card. I probably wouldn't have even like entertained the idea of like shopping because there was nothing that I needed. So that's just kind of an interesting observation. Yeah. Yeah about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

How about you? I feel like my beauty spending feels out of alignment. I think if you were to blindfold me and take my budget away and you're like, How much money are you spending on beauty each month? Which this encompasses like haircuts, makeup, if I need body lotion, face wash, if I like go and get waxed for something, like it it encompasses all of those things. But still I would be like, I don't know,$100 a month. Because it doesn't feel like that much. Um, but it it it's high and it feels out of alignment because I really love myself, but I don't feel like I feel I spend almost four hundred dollars a month on my beauty, beautiful. No. Does that make sense? Like there are some people who spend a lot on beauty, and you're like, it can tell, like I can tell you're absolutely gorgeous. It shows that you're putting in the money, and I feel like I'm putting in money, and I'm like, I still just feel like a regular Joe Schma, which I'm totally fine with. And I'm like, that feels out of alignment. Like, that's a lot of money to be spending. And then maybe subscriptions too is another one, which I didn't dig into this, but I think I've been spending like about$70 a month on subscriptions, and that just feels a little higher. I think I I'm in a season where I need to comb through my subscriptions specifically. I've I've tried to be very intentional about like what streaming services I pick up and stuff like that, but I do think now, like I I now have an Audible subscription and I still have like an Amazon Prime, like the TV part of the subscription. And then I think I have like Netflix now and Apple TV, and like all of those are just adding up a little bit to the point where I'm like, do we need all of these? That feels out of alignment because I don't think I'm using I actually do not watch that much TV anymore, you know. I think I just want the option to be able to watch what I want to watch when I do watch TV. So I need that feels a little out of alignment too. So now let's talk about what spending categories feel emotionally charged and why they're feeling emotionally charged.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

There was not much emotionally charged spending this month for me. That's not the case every month. But one category that I this I guess one like kind of thing I'll point out is like we were happy. I'm speaking for my husband and myself, but we were happy to spend money to go on vacation with family. This month it was just like really nice to see them. They live far away. We have a young nephew, like it was just so great to take that time to be with him. I will say I I almost like would categorize that spending more as like, I don't know, and not that I have a category in my budget, but like I would put that in more of the like relationships bucket than I would in the vacation bucket because that vacation, the place we went, is like not necessarily a place that the two of us would choose to go on our own if we didn't, you know, have family. There. So yeah, I will say that was more of like a relationships purchase. And we didn't spend a lot of money on this vacation, which was really nice because our family had a place to stay and covered a lot of the expenses, which was really generous. But yeah, just that caveat being like, I don't think that would have been a trip we would have taken if we were not going to see family, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

I have a sad question for you. Is your category in your budget actually called vacation? I think so. Okay. I think that mine also used to be called vacation years and years and years ago. And I think when you think of vacation, you think of I'm picking this destination that I've always wanted to go to, and we're planning all of these activities and we're doing all this stuff. And then you do a trip like flying home for the holidays in my case to visit family, and I'm like, this isn't really a vacation. I don't know. It feels weird. So I changed my category name to travel. And I wonder if something like that would feel more encompassing to be like, this isn't necessarily a vacation, but it's still something that I want to do. It's still something I'm willing to commit money to, but it's more just like me traveling.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Yeah, no, that's a good idea because I feel like we've had the conversation, my husband and I, a time or two about like we value travel for ourselves and we value travel to like see friends and family. And they're like two very different things a lot of the time. And like I think it's easy when you have family all over the place and weddings to go to and friends across the country. Like it's really easy to just do a lot of like trips to visit people, but without like you actually deciding what you want to do. Like, I want to go to this place, I want to do these things. So yeah, I think that's a really good idea actually for like reframing it a little. Like travel versus vacations and have like two separate like mindsets behind them.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Yeah, yeah. I I also feel like I need to do some reframing around my emotionally charged category, and that is like my therapy/slash medical expenses category. I think like at my core, I just wish that therapy was more accessible for more people. Yeah. And it's something that I'm so willing to spend money on, and also I'm like, why does it cost so much? And then whenever I look at how much it costs, because I only go to therapy twice a month and it's you know, like a hundred and sixty something dollars each. So it ends up being 350, and I would go more than that if it was less expensive, you know. Right. So I feel like it's emotionally charged because I see the number that it is already, and I'm like, dang, spending almost$400 a month on this, like that is that is a financial commitment, and I am more than willing to do it. And so I'm like, okay, I can calm down the emotionally chargedness that I feel that way. But then also I feel like I would be willing to invest so much more time into this category if it wasn't so expensive, or if I had more money, I would be willing to put more money in that category. And so I also it also feels emotionally charged that way too, where I'm like, I would gladly spend more in this if I felt like I could. So it's I don't know. But I think I need yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

No, that makes sense. And like I feel like that thinking applies to a lot of different categories, like back to the vacation thing. It's like you only have so much time off, you only have so much money to spend. If it comes down to like, you know, you have like a friend's wedding to go to, or like you could go, you know, take some trip. Like, you have to kind of like prioritize, and that can be really hard, like emotionally, to not only make a decision, but to like feel confident in your decision, like you're spending money the right way, you know?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Yeah. I feel like to an extent, I know your yoga purchase is more fun money, but I feel like it is a form of like therapeutic self-care in a way, right? It's like you getting in tune, in touch with your body, like doing some mindfulness stuff. I know every single time I've tried yoga, which you've done it so, like so much more than I have, I do walk away feeling just more grounded and like more in my body and more calm, in addition to you know, being like you got in a good stretch and all of that stuff. Yeah. But I I do almost wonder if another reframe could be like I'm viewing this more of like a self-care therapeutic thing that I'm willing to spend$70 something dollars a month on.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a good way to think about it. Okay, the next question is kind of fun. Are there any purchases you feel embarrassed about? Do you want to go first?

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Yeah, I think for me it goes back to the beauty category. I was even whenever we were doing this exercise, I was like, maybe that's just a really high number. Like maybe it's just randomly high because I do have some uh like face products that are on auto subscription, and I don't get them every month. It's like every six weeks or something. And I do know that I got both of them in March. So I was like, maybe my subscriptions just came through and it's high. But no, my my year-to-date average for this category is 291. So I'm still spending about$300 a month on it, and I'm just like, I think also I don't I don't want to be someone who's like, I spend X amount of money per month on my appearance because I think that can be perceived as vain. Maybe that's also what it digs into too, and I need to do some reframe around that.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

But yeah, yeah. I mean it's so hard because there's just so much, so much like culturally, societally. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I feel like I'm envious of those people who I'm not I'm not envious of a man, but you know, it's like the equivalent of of the men who are like, I never wash my face. I spent zero dollars on beauty, and I'm just like, I naturally have skin this good, you know? And then I think the the woman version of that for a lot of people would be like, Yeah, I just use like my cetophil face wash and this five dollar lotion, and that's enough for me. And I'm like, I know that that's not enough for me because I've tried it before, but I'm like, it's$300 too much. Which Emily and I have talked about this a lot before. I just have like the driest, most sensitive little skin, and I think I'm just willing to experiment to figure out what she needs. But it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Yeah, it's not always fair. It's like this is just what you were dealt. How to take care of it. That's right. Okay. Is there anything I feel embarrassed about? Not really. I mentioned that thing about yoga, but I wouldn't say I feel embarrassed about it. Sometimes maybe I feel a little embarrassed. I don't know if that's the right word, but about how much we spend on rent, especially in relation to like the rest of our spending, because I'd say generally speaking, like we're pretty low spenders. But for where we live and like for our lifestyle, I do feel like we spend a higher proportion on rent. And like that cuts into other savings goals and things like that and other spending. Like, you know, we can't just spend fully on everything else. But at the end of the end of the day, like we choose to spend more because it just it matters a lot to us.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Yeah. I also think like I know anytime I've moved to a new city, I've done the like how much rent can I afford calculator where you enter your net monthly income and it it spits you out something. And a lot of times it I forget the percentage, like maybe 30% is like a safe number. So whatever your net income is, it'll tell you 30% is the goal. And then you can usually like do the toggle up, and as you move the toggle up, it turns orange where it's like you could spend this much, but you're in pro you're encroaching on dangerous territory because you could be stretching yourself thin. And sometimes I will still do that and I'll be like, well, if I know that in every other area of my life I'm spending less than normal, then I can afford to have a larger percentage of my net monthly income go to housing that I love, feel safe in all of the things. And so I feel like that's kind of what you're doing. It's like, would you like your rent to be less than 30% ratio of your monthly spending? Sure. But also maybe that should be used as a sign that like it's higher because you are so good at managing your money and keeping your expenses low and all of these other categories, and you don't necessarily need your your rent part of the pie to be less, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Yeah, this reminds me of when we first moved to this area. It was like in the middle of COVID and there were very few housing options even available. But we rented a one-bedroom apartment for a one-bedroom, one bath apartment quite small for I want to say like a little less than a thousand dollars. And like that seems crazy thinking about it.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

And I remember being like, and we were not rolling in dough, like we were looking for jobs, we moved here without them because of COVID. Um, but I remember like almost right away being like, I would gladly spend more for a place I like because we were just not happy in this place. And yeah, it just like you think about how much you can save by like living in a cheaper place, and it's a lot of money because rent or mortgage, whatever, is such a big chunk of your budget. But it also like for me at least, and I think you too, like, has such an outsized impact on impact on your day-to-day mood and happiness and contentment and all of that. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

So this reminds me of the home buying episode, which is the very first paid episode we ever did with our dear friend Hillary. Yeah, where she talked about how like she lived in this place that she truly, truly, truly tried to make work for her, but it just felt so small in so many different ways. And they really tried to fix the mental hurdles that they had with their place, to be like, how can we love it more? And at the end of the day, that they just couldn't. And I think that they felt so much relief when they finally gave themselves permission to spend more and move.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do any values feel aspirational, or do you feel like all of your values are reflected in your spending?

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Sometimes I think some values feel aspirational. For example, if I had a ton of money, I would spend more on nicer groceries. But also I'm like at this point in my life, I'm very content with what we buy and how we eat. I'm also pretty happy with like how often we travel, but I also aspire to like international trips. Like we haven't traveled internationally in quite a while as a couple. So yeah, and then of course, like I'd like to see long-distance friends and family more often than we do, and probably would if money wasn't like a limiting factor. And then for the health category, that's where I sometimes feel like it's a little bit more aspirational. Again, if money wasn't an issue, like a$70 a month yoga membership, like I wouldn't think twice about it. Another thing I like to do, but can be pretty pricey, is like races, like running. Those can be really expensive. And I am like active in my local running group, and people are racing all the time. And it's, you know, often more just like a fun social thing. But I find that I'm I don't sign up for races very often just because it feels like a lot of money that I don't want to spend. So I know.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

Yeah, I think that I've done a pretty good job of my like my values being reflected in my spending habits. I also wanted to just throw out a side conversation because I feel like so many of my values and spending habits are tied into like buying something local, local art, or a like my favorite thing to buy for my home is like a local handmade something. And I was just having a conversation with a friend about this yesterday, but I grew up evangelical Christian, and in that space, you were taught to tithe 10% of every single dollar that you make. Like even if you feel like you can't afford it, give it to the church. The Lord will bring it back to you tenfold. Like that's the whole ideology. And so even as a kid, like I would tithe. Like if I got$100 for my birthday, I would tithe$10 at least. You know, maybe I would tithe$20 so I was feeling generous. Like it felt like such a good thing to give back, which I kind of laugh at that a little bit because I don't know. It wasn't, I I was giving back, but not as like kind of in a weird way. So as I have kind of like removed myself from all of that, I feel like the need to still tithe like shows up in other ways. And so I was chatting with this friend yesterday about like what tithing looks like after deconstruction, for example. And I feel like tithing for me and for this friend too, who also grew up Christian, is like really supporting a local business, right? Like I want to be able to walk into a local bookstore and buy a$20 book, even if I don't necessarily need it, because I want that business to know that I want them to succeed. You know, I want to go up to a booth at a farmer's market, see an adorable handmade planter and support them because like they are out here trying to like use their creativity to make a living and to make a difference. And I want to support that. So even when I'm trying to be mindful of my dollars, I think because just supporting these people are such a core, it feels like such a core value of who I am that sometimes my need to like only buy what I absolutely need will be overridden just slightly to be like, well, I don't need a book, but my need to sub to make this small business feel supported w outweighs this a little bit. So like I'm gonna buy the book anyway. And I think um that's to kind of tie that back in. I do feel like my values are reflected in my spending, but I think my spending habits are not reflective of what my income actually is, and that is the part that I need to dial back because I don't want to run into a situation where I'm like having to pull from savings to cover like a little bit of overage and a little bit of overage.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

So that that is my main thing. My values are reflected, yes, but I think they're reflected a little bit too much at the moment. And I need to put up some guardrails.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

I love that idea of like what tithing looks like. Yeah, that's a really interesting way to think about it. Because it's like some something like I picture little you like giving ten dollars to your church growing up and like, did you see a return on your invest? I mean, you know, I don't know. I know for some people that like carries a lot of meaning. Uh but like when you bring your ten dollars to the farmer's market, it's like you see who you're supporting, you know, right then. It's so tangible.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

It's so tangible, and I want to keep doing it. That's why honestly my default is to be like, we're not gonna go to a bookstore at all, because I know that if I go into that bookstore or I'm not gonna go to the farmer's market at all because I know if I go, I in the moment I'm gonna be like, that twenty dollars that you're giving to this booth will return to you tenfold. Don't worry about it. Spin the twenty dollars.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

And then you end up with a fun money category where you spent almost a thousand dollars in one month. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

That's a little bit of a tangent, but the trad wife who is like has landed in my world.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

Who I have like encouraged by like not being able to resist watching her videos. They just bought a new house and they're like decorating it room by room, and they break down like how much it cost. And so, you know, they show like a before and after, you know, them doing all the projects, what it costs, and where they bought where they like get everything, and it's and all of them are like, we did this reno with things that we already had, everything else came from Walmart or Amazon. And I don't know if it's like to be like this is affordable, like we just bought it at Walmart or Amazon. But in my head, I'm like what a soulless room.

unknown 38:46

I know.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

I and I know it's like a privilege to be able to buy things local because often it is more expensive, but it just makes me like cringe a little.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

I know it it does me too. I'm like, you could have an objectively beautiful space, and also I feel like it would do nothing for me emotionally, you know. Yeah. Like exactly because I I feel like so many of the things that I have around my house. I was just telling someone this yesterday, where it's like the wall art that I have, it is local wall art, but also I purchased it at an art fair where you like went and did a studio tour. So I like met the person who created the wall art. I also bought it inside of the space that they created the art in. And so every single time that I see it, I like see their face. I remember how I felt at that art fair. I see the studio and like the way that it was set up, right? So then it's like evoking so many more emotions within me than just this wall art looked cool on Amazon. So I clicked add to cart and it showed up two days later.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

Yeah, that makes my soul die a little. Like yeah, we are we we tend to buy art when we travel, and I think everything we have hanging on our walls is either if it's not like a photo of friends or family, it's something either we bought at like an art fair or a shop or somebody bought for us. Yeah. And I just love that. I love looking at all of our stuff on the walls.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Okay, so lastly, let's talk about what this exercise did for us and if we feel like it changed anything about our spending moving forward or how we want to spend moving forward.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

Okay, great. So as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, before we even had this idea, I had decided March would be kind of like a low spend month for me. That said, I'm pretty happy with looking back at this month's spending. Feels pretty in line with my goals and values, but it does feel like a low spend month to me. So I feel like I stuck to that goal pretty well. There are always a few changes I would make. And actually, I was just doing my bookkeeping for my business, and I found that there were more expenses there that I feel like need some adjustments. So that's not something we covered today, but that is something I'm thinking about. But yeah, for the most part, based on this month, there's not much that I would change about my personal spending. The one thing that sticks out to me that I'm like, was it worth it was that clothing purchase.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

But that's not a big deal. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. And going back to the sly edge course correcting thing, it's like you can put so much thought into something and feel like it's worthy of spending money on and still, once it's home with you, be like, maybe not. And it sounds like maybe the clothing purchase could have been that. Maybe what did you spend m what what type of clothing was it?

SPEAKER_02 41:44

A pair of pants, like very comfortable. I'll I'm sure I'll wear them all the time in the summer. Girl. But I don't know. We have too many closets here, so I've been trying to be really picky about what I buy. And I just I wouldn't have bought them if I didn't have the gift card. Mm.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

I see. I see. That's all that's all. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. What about you? I well, I think that this exercise made me think that I need to guess be a better parent to myself a little bit in terms of like keeping my fun spending reined in because and it's so funny, like I I'm constantly having conversations with myself in my head, you know, where I'm like, you deserve to have fun and support these businesses. And also, like, you need to make sure that you're not spending too much and doing all of this. So it's like a constant, not necessarily a battle in my head, but just like a conversation of like, should is should we be spending money on this? Should we whatever? And so I think the thing that I've learned through doing this exercise in March is that while my spending is aligned with my with my values, for the most part, maybe outside of like a few key things I need to dig into a little deeper. I do feel like I need to rein it in a little bit. So maybe like I will try a no or a low spend month of some sort just to see. I feel like I need to strengthen my guardrails around like when I allow myself to spend money on certain things. So I'm not in these situations, especially with summer kicking back up and all the art fairs and the farmers markets and all the things, you know? Like we need to we need to be a little more mindful about this. But I will also say that like you and I have been budgeting for so long now, and also we have enough head knowledge to know like why it's important to keep tabs on your spending and all of that stuff. But I do feel like I've been in a season these past two months where I haven't really looked at my budget at all. Like I've looked at it a little bit, but not weekly or anything. And I think it's because I've been a little bit afraid of what I would find. Like I was I was afraid that the numbers would tell me that I need to rein it in a little bit. Um so it's so funny how you can logically know that is the point of your budget. You know, like it's supposed to kind of like gut check. You so you can course correct and still end up at the end of the month the same. But then sometimes my gut instinct here lately has been to like just don't even look at it as it's fine. It's fine. Yeah, which is such a like natural human thing to do. I also am grateful that this exercise will maybe help me have a little bit better April in May. I think.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

Yeah. But I do think, regardless of like, you know, you feeling like maybe you spent a little bit too much, the fact that almost everything you bought was like, yes, I'm so glad I spent money on that. Like, I think that is really impressive in itself and rare in a world where like things are constantly being sold to us. That's like, you need this, you need this, you need this. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

Yeah, the the joy per dollar spent ratio just feels out of control. Like this this hat that's covered in like embroidered ducks is gonna bring me so much joy. I can't wait to wear it. Take my$38. That's actually something that happened in Kansas City.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

I can't wait to see that hat.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Thank you for saying that though.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Yeah, I was gonna say when you're talking about like, you know, we've been budgeting for a long time, like you know the purpose of it and blah blah blah, but it still like can give you anxiety sometimes. I just started reading You Don't Need a Budget by Dana Miranda, and I feel like we might need to do an episode like reviewing her argument because I'm already I'm like 20 pages in and I'm like this is like unheard of, you know? Like you don't need a budget.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Does she advocate for more of a gut check situation?

SPEAKER_02 45:40

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

But I'm I'm so like, you know, at the beginning that I don't I don't know. Okay. Well the rest of the thing. I'm excited to include yeah, I'm hooked.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Okay. Yeah. Well, in conclusion, sweet girlies who are still here, try this exercise yourself if you want, you know, to jot down your values, see, see if you can lump some purchases into those values or if you have, you know, quite a bit that are straying outside of that realm. It's it's a very insightful thing to do.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it's like taking the classic advice of like see where your money's going and then just like taking it one step further.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

That I feel like is is like gonna help you so much more. Yeah. Give you a lot more insight.

SPEAKER_01 46:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

And thanks to Michelle for sending us that book because that's what kind of kickstarted all of this. So Yeah. Alright, girlies, we'll see you next week. Love ya, bye. That's a wrap on another episode of the Finance Girlies podcast. Nothing in this episode is meant to be taken as financial advice.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Please do your own research and talk to a professional if you need advice. As always, if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review. Love ya, bye.