How Brittany Flammer built a $950k net worth on a 5-figure income / 78

We often assume building wealth requires a high salary, perfect investing decisions, or some kind of shortcut. But sometimes, the biggest results come from years of small, consistent choices.

In this episode, we talk with financial coach and mom of five Brittany Flammer. Over the course of her 21-year marriage, Brittany and her husband averaged an income of roughly $40,000 per year while steadily building a net worth that’s now approaching $1 million. Their story isn’t built on shortcuts or luck — it’s built on patience, intentionality, and a commitment to living below their means.

We talk about everything from investing at age 20 with just $50 a month, to navigating lifestyle creep, raising financially confident kids, and budgeting for family travel. If you’ve ever wondered whether small financial habits can really make a difference, this conversation is a reminder that consistency often pays off in the long run.

✨ Episode Highlights ✨

• [01:30] How Brittany and her husband built nearly $1 million in net worth on an average income of about $40,000 per year
• [03:00] Why starting to invest matters more than knowing everything from day one
• [06:00] How Brittany’s savings and investing strategy evolved as her household income increased over the years
• [08:00] The intentional ways Brittany allows lifestyle upgrades without letting lifestyle creep take over
• [11:30] The surprising expenses they skip — and why Brittany only budgets $25 per month for personal fun money
• [16:00] The budgeting tools Brittany relies on most, including high-yield savings accounts, automation, and weekly budget check-ins
• [20:30] How their family of seven travels on a budget, from affordable road trips to planning international vacations
• [24:30] The low-cost family traditions that have created some of their favorite memories
• [28:30] How Brittany teaches her kids about money, trade-offs, saving, spending, and earning their own income
• [34:30] The expenses she refuses to cut, the role generosity plays in their family, and the money values she hopes to pass down to her children
• [41:00] Where to follow Brittany’s budgeting journey and why publicly sharing her budget helps keep her accountable

✨ Resources ✨

• Brittany’s YouTube channel
• Brittany’s website

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey girlies, welcome back to another episode of the Finance Girlies. Today we're talking to Britney Flammer. She's a financial coach, mama five, and avid budgeter. After years of living near the poverty line, Britney figured out how to budget and win with money. With an average income of less than $40,000 a year, her net worth is now nearing $1 million.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

What we really love about Britney's story is that it's not some jaw-dropping tale about how she landed a high salary, paid off all of this debt. It's really about how she and her family made slow and steady progress over decades. And as a result, that slow and steady progress has led to significant wealth. And so I think that a lot of people will be able to relate to her story.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Welcome to the Finance Girlies, a podcast for millennial and Gen Z women who are curious about money but have never quite felt at home in traditional finance spaces.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

We are Emily Vatdorf and Cassie Horton, podcast hosts, longtime friends, and finance writers for brands like AOL and Yahoo Finance.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Rather than giving you prescriptive advice, we talk about money the way friends actually do. The stories, questions, and a lot of figuring it out in real time. So I want to start off by asking kind of a big question. You built an $800,000 net worth on an average income of around $37,000 a year. How did you do it? Just give us the breakdown.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Sure. So we I just updated our net worth. I do it quarterly on my channel, and we're at like 950 something thousand now. Um we have, yeah. So this last year is the first year we made over a hundred thousand. And so our average has been like low 40s over our 21 years of marriage. Um, so I feel like it's a really boring answer. It's the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady, which is not sexy and not really exciting, but we've always lived below our means. So we always spent less than we made, and we focused just on the behavior, like being consistent, and we consistently invested. Um, even if it wasn't very much money, we were always consciously investing. And like we learned over time, maybe I didn't need to invest in that, but we were constantly saving and constantly investing, even if it was like $20 a month. Um, but we started that behavior right when we first got married. So I was still really young.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Do you recall how old you were when you started investing?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yeah, so this is gonna shock people. I was 20 when my husband and I got married. I was still in college and he had just graduated and was working. So he was making like 30,000 a year. And I was just in school and we were investing, we started then. I knew very little. I knew Roth IRAs were supposed to be good, and we were like poor, so I knew we qualified. So we put some into Roth IRAs. And I didn't know anything, I don't even know what we invested in inside the Roth IRAs. I just know we put into Roth IRA, and it was like $50 a month is like what we started with. Um, because I knew we were supposed to invest, I didn't know anything about it, and I had just heard those were supposed to be good, so I did that. And then even at one point, I actually went to the bank, which is like the worst place to invest, and I I invested through them because I was like, I don't know, and they were telling anyway. I have learned, so I we've done everything and anything, it feels like, and I've learned, oh, I rather than going through my bank, I should have done this, but we had had the habit and we were i investing in something was better than not investing at all.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

I always say that the habits you start building, even when your income is really small, matter so much more than how much money you are actually bringing in because it's those habits that are gonna serve you so well whenever you do find yourself in a position where you're making more money than you need to live on and can make like more impactful change in your financial life. And also in that same regard, I feel like so many people, this is me with investing. Uh, Emily jokes that because she and I knew each other when I started investing. I think I was probably 26 or 27 when I started investing and 32 now. And I created all of these like procrastination goals. I was like, I need to pay off my car first, which my car had like a 2.99% interest rate. It was all of these things because I was so scared to actually start investing. And I think back, I mean, I I feel like I'm doing okay now. I'm very proud of how much I've invested in stuff since then, but I spent years delaying the process because I was completely terrified of starting and messing up. And now hindsight is 2020 and it's such a good reminder to be like, you really can't, especially if you're working with smaller amounts, like you really can't mess up that much, you know, and just start and you can always pivot. And if you're taking, you're taking solid advice that feels sound, like you're not dumping all of your money into one stock, like you're diversifying from the get-go, like chances are you're not gonna mess up as much as your brain is telling you that you could.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah, and we have made lots of mistakes and we've learned, like that's how you learn, right? And uh, we diversified too much. I thought by diversifying that meant you had to have different accounts at like different places. So I have like investment through our bank, investment, because my we didn't have a uh 401k when we started. So I have like 10 different investment anyway. I but that's how you learn and you can roll things over and you make progress. Um, but you definitely learn from the mistakes. But just starting right when we got married, we budgeted right, I budgeted right away, and um always went towards investing.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

The like awareness at 20 to start investing even $50 is really impressive. That's so cool. Yeah. Just a kind of a follow-up to that question. Was there a specific savings rate throughout, like as your income changed that you were aiming for, or was that kind of just year-to-year?

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yeah, it has fluctuated a lot. I mean, like you hear in the finance world, you hear 15%, or you hear if you're money guys, 20, 25%. When we first started, it was just anything we could put towards it. Um, so it wasn't a set percentage, and our income was kind of all over the place. As our income stabilized, um, then we started shooting for percentages. So once my husband got like a real job with benefits that they matched, we put up to the match. And so we now invest. If I look at our budget, we put like 30 to 40 percent of our budget goes towards savings right now. Not all of that is invested, probably about it's roughly 15% for retirement is my goal right now. So, like based on doing calculations and looking at all the calculators, how much we need. So we put 15% towards retirement, a little bit towards non-retirement, and then the rest is like short-term sinking funds, like saving up for a car or vacation or house projects. So it has fluctuated over the years. In fact, we used to do more than 15%. Um, at one point I was shooting for 20%, but then we actually met with a financial planner and he recommended lowering it because we were putting everything into retirement. And and so now we do more that's non-retirement. So, like if in we want to retire early, we have access to the money, or if we decide we want to buy a second property, we have cash. So it has fluctuated um significantly, but um right now 15% towards retirement is our goal.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

You mentioned earlier, I believe that last year was the first year where you cleared like six figures as as income. Is there anything now that you allow yourself to spend money on now that your income has increased that would have shocked an earlier version of you?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yes, definitely. It's little things, it's not major purchases, it's like little stuff. Like I will pay for convenience because well now I'm also working, which takes up time. That so, like at the grocery store, like just the just last week, I bought um the bag of those cute little potatoes that are like already, you don't have to do anything, like they're already prepared, you can just toss them in. Like, there is no way it was like twice the price as if I just bought regular potatoes and washed them and peeled them and cut them and stuff. But time is worth something to me now. Um, so I will spend for little conveniences. Travel's always been a priority to us. We've always spent money on travel, but I'm shocked at how much we spend now because we have more income, we can put more towards it. And like, I spent $7,000 on a course for my business last year. And I'm like, it's an investment, right? I'm in theory, it's education, I'm gonna get the return. But that's something that a few years ago I'd have been like, uh, there's no way I would invest that much money. Like, like that's a family trip somewhere really nice. But if I'm paying for the convenience, if it's worth it to me, and then if it's something that I'm gonna recoup the money, it's an investment, then it's definitely worth it to me.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

It seems like you've been really intentional about the ways in which you allow yourself to inflate your lifestyle. I put on I'll put in quotes, because that's the thing you always have to be mindful of, is like the lifestyle creep as your income increases. But also whenever you're so used to living on such a small salary, like Emily and I, whenever we first started working outside of college, we also had very tiny salaries. Um, I was making $32,000 a year as an academic advisor. And I mean, you you truly have to watch every single penny that you bring in because there just aren't that many pennies. And it is interesting as your income grows, like what what you can choose to bring into your life where it truly increases the quality of your life. And buying the small potatoes so you don't have to do anything feels totally worth it.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Yes. Um, so I'm my husband is a high school teacher, so I knew going into it he wasn't gonna make a lot. And I am naturally a saver, but but I think it was really a blessing that we had nothing at the beginning, um, because any more income was an improvement. And so we started with like a good foundation, and so now that we do make more, in some ways it's harder because like we could spend the money and do that, but as like you talked about the lifestyle creep, like it is so real. But whenever the income increases, the savings increases, but then also the spending increases. Um, so but the lifestyle creep is real for sure. But if you start with a good foundation, it's really helpful.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

We were just talking to somebody um on our show, a guest who right out of grad school decided to like go all in paying off her loans, and she had like $150,000 worth of loans. And it was kind of a similar thing. She did earn a six-figure salary, but she didn't get used to like having a bunch of money to spend because she was like right out the gate, this is how I'm gonna live. I'm just gonna get it over with before I get used to like, you know, yeah, it's always hard to cut back.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

You can always it's easy to add, but it's really hard to cut back. And um, we when we were first married, we were only making like 30,000, and we live in a low cost of living area or at the time it was. So that was actually we were like richer then than when we started having kids because kids are really expensive. So it's funny. We look back now and I'm like, I used to have this, like, I think it was $50 a month. I used to have this fun money, and I have less than that now. But um, it's so it's funny. We joke about how we were poor college students, but we didn't really have any expenses either.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

So it's funny how that perspective changes. Is there anything that you don't spend money on that people are usually surprised by?

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Okay, people are shocked. We don't we don't spend any money on coffee, and that shocks people. Because coffee is like the the iconic example of like if you cut out your five dollar a day coffee, you'll save. Um, and so it gets a bad rap. So when I talk about frugal, I have just mentioned that like if I were to drink coffee, I'd probably make it at home rather than buy it, like just as a suggestion. But we don't spend money on coffee, and that shocks people. They're like, how do you survive? Like, we got five kids and they're up early in the morning. We do not, they got enough energy for everyone. We don't need the cafe. Um, but that shocks people um majorly. But also another thing when I share my budget, I get a lot of comments on why my personal money is so low. So I think it's really important that everyone has some fun money in their budget, even when you're paying off debt. And ours is really low. So right now, mine's only $25 a month. And um people are like, why would you not have that hired? I'm like, I could, but honestly, I have everything I need. I have some cushions. Like if I want to buy new clothes, we have a clothing budget. It's really pure fun money for me. And I it's just priorities. Like, I'd rather, even if I I gave myself more money, I'd rather put it towards a trip or some experience. Um so that I feel like that really surprises people because we do a low amount of fun money, but I feel like we're putting it where I'd rather put it. So if my husband came to me and said, I need more money for fun, like we could adjust it and definitely do that. But I don't feel like that. So we put it at our bigger priorities.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

It's also good to hear though that like clothing is its own separate budget. Uh Emily and I did a budgeting episode. This may have been like 2024 or beginning of 2025, but I was talking about how in my fun money category, because I've been budgeting uh since 2016, that I used to do like my haircuts out of there if I needed clothes for anything, if I I don't know, needed like makeup or something, which I I don't know. I felt like everything came out of my fun money category.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

You have like like a lotion and like shampoo piece that like you need.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Right, right. But I was like, well, I guess it, I guess it should count as fun money because I'm technically like buying the one that I want instead of the dirt cheapest option. So like I'm doing this to myself, so I'm making it more fun. I don't know. I had this like weird mindset around all of it. Um, and then I was finally like, maybe haircuts should just be their own category instead of doing this to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Yeah, well, so for my kids, so I have two teenage daughters now, and they earn money, but like I buy the cheap shampoo, and I'm like, I provide it for you. If you want something nicer that's expensive, you gotta pay for it on your with your own money because I'm providing the cheap stuff. But yeah, so I like as where I do like 99% of our shopping, um, I can control. And so I can see, like, oh, our whatever budget is low. So if I want something, I can get it and I don't have to use my fun money. But um so there's definitely wiggle room in the budget. My fun money is like pure fun money, like stuff I don't need, stuff that I want that's just for me. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

What do you spend it on?

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Like what are some things that so I just went on a girls' weekend like last week. Um, and so that was kind of an impromptu. My friend rented a cabin, and I was like, okay, yeah, I'll do this. We went to a conference one day, we went out to eat a few times. I so I used my fun money on that. And like I'm thinking I maybe should sign up for a half marathon to get back into running. So I'll probably use my fun money for because I'm like, well, I can go outside and run for free for 13 miles. Why would I pay a hundred bucks? But I'm like, no, I it'll like force me to get back into shape and do more running. And so I'm like, yeah, so I would be willing to pay for it, but it would come out of my fund money.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

That's Emily's situation right now. You're also training for a half marathon, correct?

SPEAKER_01 15:59

No, just a 10K, but I did the half marathon a couple years ago. And it's crazy how once you spend the money on it, you're like, well, I guess I'm doing this now. Better get out there and put in the miles.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah, you got the skin in the game. So you yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it works. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Okay. Speaking of budgeting, you review a lot of budgeting apps and financial tools on your YouTube channel. So would you walk us through some of the tools that you feel like you genuinely could not live without?

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Um, yes. So, first thing that comes to mind is the high yield savings account. I like love mine and I'm amazed at how many people don't have them. But I love it. I've had them for like when we first got married, I researched and we money market accounts were more popular than. I hadn't like high yield savings accounts, if they existed, I didn't find them. So um, I was just like, well, why would I keep it in my checking account earning nothing when I could earn at the time it was like six percent interest? Um so yeah, yeah. Isn't that wouldn't that be great? So I love the high yield savings accounts. And there are so many of them, they're all great. Um, but I love automation as well. I don't wanna have like so payday comes, I don't do anything. All of our savings is automated. Um, and that's not really a tool. I mean, almost all bank accounts can do some automation, but I do like the high yield savings accounts that have more automation. Um, so if people are looking for specific Ally, Wealthfront, and SoFi are my favorite because of their automation. But um, the high yield savings account for sure. Everything on autopilot. So, like the less I have to think about, I don't, I can be lazy and I'm still being successful. Those are probably my favorite things. And then a budget. So I know you guys have talked about budgets. I love budgeting, and I I know a lot of people that aren't like active budgeters, they like, well, I just need to know roughly how much I should spend. And as long as I stick below that, I'm okay. And I have done that in phases in our life, and that can work, but you're so much more successful when you're a little bit more detail oriented. So I personally use a spreadsheet, but but most people I work with, and probably the people listening to this are want digital. So an app that works for you is whatever works for you is good. Um, but if there's an app, most people like automation. So um right now, there are so many apps out there, as you guys know. Um, but having an app that you can budget inside of, if you will look at it and use it, then it is a good fit.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Okay, out of curiosity, how often throughout the week or the month are you updating your spreadsheet? Because I originally started budgeting in grad school with a spreadsheet, but I it did not work for me because I would only do it at the end of every month and I'd be like, wow, I spent way more than I thought I would. I'll try to do better next month, and I did not do better the next month. And then eventually I was like, we've got to move on to an app. This is not working. And I take it you have a much better system than I had. So walk us through it.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

So with clients, I recommend at least once a week, even if you're using an app, like making sure like because so many of the apps are automated now, at least once a week checking in to make sure everything's categorized correctly and looking at it. But most people, when they first get started, daily is really what it's just a habit. Like just check in when you're having lunch or when you're brushing your teeth or whatever. So I do at least once a week, but um sometimes I'll do it daily, but at least once a week. Because, like you said, if you get to the end of the month, it's like, oh, whoops, too late. I can't make I can't change anything. But if you do it throughout the month, then you can adjust. Like, oh, we went way over in this, so where's it gonna come from? We gotta cut back somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

The key to budgeting, really, is you gotta look at it, you gotta reference it.

unknown 20:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Yeah, I heard the analogy a while back to think of it like a GPS. Like you wouldn't start out on a road trip and only look at your end destination, like you keep checking in with your GPS to be like, am I on the right road? Do I need to turn up here? Do I need to do something else? And so it's more just meant to make sure that you end up at your destination at the end of the month, which is hopefully still having X amount of money to set aside or whatever you decide your financial goals are for that month.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yeah, that's a great analogy. And how often when we're using the GPS do we have to recalculate? Like life's no different, the budget is no different.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Yeah, I can't tell you the number of times I'm driving and I make a wrong turn and I say, whoops, it'll recalculate.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Yeah. Yep. So you mentioned earlier in the episode that your family has always prioritized travel. And we know you have a large family and historically have, you know, been dealing with a limited income. So how do you usually budget for vacations um with a family of seven, right? Seven?

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Yeah. But kids.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

So it has changed over the years. When it was just my husband and I, it looks a lot different than it does now. But there is so much. So, regardless, um, like when our kids were little, we would choose destinations that have a lot of free options. So, like we were living in Arkansas at the time. We went to St. Louis, it was only a few hours away, and it was amazing. I actually like we do those little photo books and I tracked our expenses, and we spent like $304 for like five days in St. Louis, including lodging. Like we found yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, this was like seven or eight years ago, but um we could drive, so we drove there. We got a really good Airbnb, so we like to stay in Airbnbs as opposed to hotels. And I feel like usually they're comfortable. Price-wise, but we prepare our own food. And that, especially when you're feeding seven people, that's a huge amount to save. But we take our own food with us. We prepare our own food. But like we did activities that there's so much out there that doesn't cost money. Like the zoo was completely free. You just have to pay if you want to do the rides. And our kids were little and we're like, there's no way we're paying for you to do the rides. Like we're just gonna go to the zoo. So looking for the activities that don't cost money. Um, because other cities we go to the zoo and it's like 15 bucks a person, right? So looking for things that don't cost a lot. Now that our kids are older, um, we so for example, over spring break, we just took our family of seven to El Salvador and we knew we wanted to go somewhere. I'm a big fan of Google flights, but I like to do the anywhere, like look at the map. So you just type in your your origination, wherever you're departing from, and leave the destination blank. So I did that. I just put in the week of spring break and I look at the map, and like we wanted to go to another country, and I wanted to go somewhere Spanish speaking because I've been studying Spanish. So I just looked at the map, and in El Salvador was one of the cheapest ones. El Salvador and Guatemala. And I was like, okay, let's do some research. So I looked at Airbnbs. Airbnbs in El Salvador were a lot cheaper than Guatemala. So I was like, okay, Guatemala, or El Salvador, it is. So I love for flights, I like that feature, and it's about more about the experience, not necessarily a specific location. But then also like what you want to do. We went to El Salvador, we didn't spend that much because our kids just wanted to play at the beach, and that's free. Um so a year ago, my husband and I went to Costa Rica for our 20th anniversary, and we we chose Costa Rica because it has all of the fun excursions, but you pay per person. And so we're like, okay, this is a couple vacation, this is not a family because um, yeah, we did the zip lining and it cost us like $60. But if we were to do it for everyone, every activity would have been really expensive. So the fights, Airbnb or something rental like that, as opposed to hotels. Um, and then looking for activities that don't cost a lot. We uh when we so my husband went to school in LA. So we lived there for a few years. We had family come and went to Disneyland. So we went to Disneyland for a day and our kids were young and like it was good, but then the next day they had more fun at just a playground that was totally free. So, and there's nothing wrong with going to Disneyland, but it's just being conscious of like they don't have to have a big expensive experience. They can have fun at the beach or at the park. It's more about the time together, I feel like, and the experience than the actual activity.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Outside of travel in that same vein, have you created any family traditions or is there anything that's low cost or free that you end up doing as a family that are super, super meaningful?

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Yes, much to our children's chagrin. We do a lot of hiking and biking, and they always moan and groan and complain, like, why do we have to go on a hike? But by the end, usually they're all in a good mood, and it's like totally free. And we've had great experiences. So any outdoorsy stuff, like yeah, bikes, you have to have bikes, and there's some maintenance there, but we do lots of like hiking and biking, or we have a couple of paddle boards. So in the summer we go to a lake and we invested in the paddle board, so now we just go play at the lake. Um yeah, so outdoorsy stuff is always helpful. And I know living in cold climates, as you guys know, it's a little bit more limiting in the winter, but like, um, so we also live in it's northern Utah, so it's cold. Um, when we moved here, we did invest in season ski passes. And that's an that's an investment, it's not free, but every week we would go skiing as a family. So that became like, oh, Monday night's our night to go skiing after school. Um and so we have lots of memories like the chairlift, and so it's just doing stuff and outdoorsy stuff tends to be cheaper than indoor stuff.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

I am with you on all of that. I was as you were talking, I was thinking about when I was right out of college, I moved to Wyoming and for the first time got really into cross-country skiing, and so bought a pair of cross-country skis, you know, on my itty bitty salary, and it felt like such a huge expense. But here I am, how many nine years later, and they're like the best thing I've ever bought. I ski all the time in the winter, and it's free. It's free, like you know, after you buy them the one time, yeah, we can go anywhere I want, and I love it.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Yeah, so our very first year skiing was expensive, but we bought all of our equipment used. But now the good thing about kids is they grow, so they we just pass down the stuff. You know, it's like, oh, we only have to buy one piece of equipment. And this year we don't have to buy anything because yeah, uh anyway. Uh, but yeah, it's so it's an investment. And we do the same snowshoeing before we had skis. Our we had a couple pairs of snow shoes, and I think we borrowed a few pairs. Our kids were like, this is just hiking, but in the snow. But it's fun. And once they I feel like they just have to complain and get it out of their system. Um, so I those experiences are great and very economical and good memories, good experiences. And it's healthy.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Yeah, totally. And it sounds like not only are you stretching out the cost per use over years, but as it gets passed down to the next kid, you're also stretching it out, you know, over children too. So it's like a double, a double win. It's becoming real inexpensive. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Yeah. So speaking of your kids, were there ever moments when, you know, you're very budget conscious growing up, they wanted things that just weren't realistic financially. And if so, how did you handle that?

SPEAKER_00 28:22

For sure. So I mentioned I think it was a blessing that we had no money to start off with. Um, because like our two oldest, they never asked for anything because they just knew the answer was no, because we could not afford it. Like, like groceries, that was like all we could afford when they were really little. So they didn't ever ask for stuff. Um, now that we make more money, and the answer is yes sometimes, and our kids see us spending a lot more money. They do, they ask for a lot more. But there are a few things that we do. One, we're really open, like we talk about money all the time. Um, I know I feel like that's like a generational thing. Like my parents never ever taught, like, that was taboo. I feel like it's becoming people like you are making it more of a conversation. It's healthier. Um, so we talk about it. They know about money, they understand that it's not an infinite thing. Um, but then also we talk about trade-offs. So, like for birthdays, we'll be like, okay, we budget this much for birthday. You can have a birthday party and we'll put the money towards that, or we can put it towards a gift for you. Like, you get the choice. You're not getting bold. Um, so they have some ownership in that and some say, but um, like we'll talk about trade-offs. It's like, oh one of we have some friends that bought a really nice new electric car, and our kids are like, that would be so cool. And I'm like, it is so cool. Like, we could buy that, but would you rather have that? Or would you have rather us do another trip like we just did to El Salvador? And they're like, Oh, we'd rather have the trip. I'm like, okay, so we can have it, but it's it's trade-offs. If you're spending it on this, that just means you're not spending it on something else. Um, so we talk about that. Um, we also uh like them to use their own money. So for example, I have a daughter that does tennis and she wanted private lessons, and they're not cheap. And I said, okay, this is how much we are planning, we can spend for because in our budget we have kids extracurriculars every month, but her lessons were gonna be like a couple hundred. I'm like, we we can allot this much, so if you want to do them, you have to cover the difference. And so she was willing to do that. And so, but then also she's like, I am not missing a lesson because I am paying for some of that. So there's that ownership, and then also they do have opportunities to earn their own money, but then they also have opportunities to spend their own money. Um, so we uh we talked about creating the habit. So they do have opportunity to earn money at home. Our older ones now earn it out of the house, they earn a lot more than they do from us. But especially the younger ones, like they can do their jobs, they do everything, they get some money, but then 10% automatically goes to some giving, 20% goes to savings, and then they spend the rest. But like if they get invited to a friend's birthday party, they have to spend their own money. Or like if we go into the store and they want something, I'm like, okay, how much money do you have in your account? So they have the experience of handling money, and so they appreciate, like, oh, that's $50. And I don't want to spend that on that. So maybe I'll wait till I can find it for $20. And they they learn lessons. One of our daughters, we were, it was, she was with my husband. They were at like a hardware store, and at the checkout, there was like they have those candy bars that are like three or four, like they're insanely expensive. Like, you don't buy candy at the checkout at a non-food store or even at a food store. But she wanted it, so she spent her and my husband was like, Oh, it was so painful. She spent like three dollars on a candy bar, and then they stopped at a grocery store after that, and that same candy bar was like a dollar, and she's like, Well, that was stupid. But I'm like, Well, she learned, so she now knows. But it's it's really painful to watch them learn those lessons, but that's how we learn, right? Um, so there's not only one specific thing, lots of little things that we do with our kids.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

I mean, what a gift to learn that lesson with a three-dollar candy bar instead of like a $30,000. $3,000 or yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say one of my closest friends has a 12-year-old and a nine-year-old, and she and her husband, it sounds like does a similar thing to you and your husband, where their kids earn an allowance of some sort, and then anything that they want to buy outside of like you're getting a birthday gift and a Christmas gift, they have to use their own money. And so I've been to the store with them several times, and you know, their kids like, oh, I want this thing. And it's really cool for them to be like, okay, well, I have this much money, and technically, like, we're going on this trip this summer, and if I know that I want to buy a souvenir on this trip, like, do I really want to buy this thing now? So it's so cool to see them, even at 12 years old and nine years old, going through that thought process of if I buy this thing, here is the trade-off that future me will have to deal with, and does that feel worth it or not?

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Yeah, definitely. And it is definitely not perfect. Uh like my kids, we needed to do some weeding, and they're like, Well, how much are you gonna pay me for this? And like, well, you're just part of our family, so you're gonna weed for nothing. Like, it's not perfect, but the principle is there and they are dealing with money and understanding the concept of work and money and how to spend it. But definitely not perfect.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Yeah. And how much things cost because if you like don't have a concept of that, you're gonna be in for a yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Our oldest surprise is 16 and her first time going to gas up, she's like, What? And we're like, welcome to real life. I'm like, this is why we try to like not drive this in here, and like we try to think about it. And like, this is why when you want to go over to your friend's house that lives 30 minutes away, we're like, well, then you're gonna take this kid here and do the anyway. Um, but it's like mind blowing. And then also her very first paycheck from her like real job, she's like, they stole money from me. And I'm like, well, taxes are a real thing, it's not the it wasn't stolen, but um, like just having those real experiences and understanding the real costs of life um are good.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

So we just talked about previously some like free or low cost traditions that you have with your family, but on the flip side of that, are there anything are there any things where you intentionally don't cut back because they matter or feel very important to your family, even though they might cost more than you would hope?

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Yes. So we have always um donated, giving has always real been important to us. So even when we made like nothing. So my husband and I served in Peace Corps for two years, and um even our income with that was like $200 a month, but we still it was the principle, we still donated 10% of it. And it's interesting, people have very strong opinions. Um, so it's really interesting to see people's comments like when I share our budget, and they're like, Well, that's stupid. You should be contributing to your kids' 529s, or you should be doing invest more investing or this or that. But that's one of those things that for both my husband and I has always been a non-negotiable. And with our kids, we just want them to have the con like that principle. So when they earn money, 10%, we have them give away. So we've that's always been important to us. But then just experiences in general. Um, um have like experiences with my husband. Like we love we we keep mentioning travel, um, and because that's always been important to us, but but it has looked different at different times, but we have always prioritized that. Even when we weren't making very money, there was always a sinking fund for travel or some sort of experience because it was important to us. And now when we make more, it's more fun because we have a lot more destinations we can go to.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

To kind of wrap us up, you have like so much good, I feel like, advice or examples of how you know you think about money within your family. So thinking about as your kids continue to grow up, what kind of relationship with money do you hope that they will have?

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah, that's a really good question. So I think the most important thing to me is that they recognize it's just a tool. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just a tool to help us do things we want to do. Um, it's a part of life so that they're not stressed about money or controlled by money. And I just want them to be confident in managing it because it is a part of our everyday life. It does affect every aspect of our life, and it can be used for a lot of good, and it can make your life a lot easier if you manage it well. So, like we have one daughter that is a spender, and we are never going to change that. Like, we're not, she is just naturally a spender. She will work hard and earn money and then spend every single dollar with it. So I just want to teach her good habits so that as she gets older and has real jobs and real income that she's still gonna spend, but as long as we've set her up with some good principles, that she will still be okay and not destroy her life because she spends everything. And I would hope that they are generous because they're really, I mean, there are studies that show how generosity and money like they're like, but I just I want them to be good people that are kind and generous, but so I hope that that's a principle that we can instill in them. Even if we don't instill it in them, they know that it's important to us.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

If it makes you feel any better. When I was 16, I the summer after, the summer in between school, I worked at my local bowling alley, and I remember getting paid and going to the mall and spending 100% of that paycheck the day that I got it. And I was very much a spender as a teen, but once I got to college, my fear of having debt made me completely change my spending habits, and I became incredibly frugal as an adult and then spent years working through that frugality because I was like neglecting myself of anything that brought me joy. So I tried to strike a balance. So, all of that to say, your daughter could end up, who knows, as an adult. But I was definitely, I think if my parents were at all concerned, they didn't tell me, but they could have very easily been like, Cassidy is not good at saving money or keeping money in her bank account at all. And yet I was very much good at keeping money in my bank account as an adult.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

So that's awesome. There is hope for our daughter. Um but the this the frugality is like a good thing, but it's also like you have so my husband and I are both natural savers, but it I have to like we'll save up for something, and then it's really hard for me to spend the money because I'm like, well, but it's in my account, and I really like it earning that interest, and there's security there. So like it's a conscious like I I have to make conscious effort to be okay with spending it when we've saved up. Um so like the struggle is real on both sides, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it really is. But I think it it sounds like you are setting a very healthy example for your kids. So I'm sure they'll end up great.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

Hopefully. If nothing else, they see what you do, right? Your actions speak louder than words, right?

SPEAKER_02 40:25

So Yeah. Yeah. And I think too, just the fact that you're willing to be so open and have these conversations with them, like they are picking up on so much.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

So I had someone gave me this idea because our kid, one of our boys was like, Dad makes like $7,000 a month. We're rich. And so I was like, okay, so we got out monopoly money. And I was like, okay, this much is how much we pay for our house, this much is how much we pay for our car insurance, this is how much we pay for your soccer every month. This is how much we and he's like, oh, there's not very much left over. But when you pay for all those things and you invest for retirement and you they're like, well, you could just they actually, one of them was like, well, you could put less in that investment. And I'm like, well, then you'd have to take care of us when we're old. And they're like, okay, never mind. So I don't I don't know what made me think of that. But um, but yeah, yeah, totally off topic.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

No, that's a great side story. Yeah. Um, as we wrap up, if someone is listening and they want to follow along on your journey, learn more about you, where can they find you online?

SPEAKER_00 41:47

Yes, I have a website, but YouTube is where most people find me. It's Brittany Flammer. I share our personal budget and then I test out like budgeting apps and different money tools for people.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Yeah, I love for listeners. It the YouTube channel is great. I love how um transparent you are just showing all the numbers. I think it's so helpful.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

So yeah, it's interesting to see people's reactions to something. But it really it is, but it really is good accountability because like over the summer all my kids are home, and so sometimes I don't. So I usually film a video with our budget at the beginning of the month and then like what we actually spend at the end. But like in the summer, like we're traveling and kids are home and it gets busy, so I don't do it every month. And the months I don't do it, I'll look at it. I'm like, like, there's just so much accountability there. So I'm like, no, I even though like I don't get a lot of views on those videos, I don't earn money off of them, really. I'm like, I need to do it because it's just really good accountability for myself. So yeah. But yes, I am on open book about our finances. I'm not afraid to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Well, thank you so much for talking about it with us on our show. We know our listeners are gonna love this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Yes, thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

That's a wrap on another episode of the Finance Girls podcast. Nothing in this episode is meant to be taken as financial advice.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

Please do your own research and talk to a professional if you need advice. If you like this episode, consider leaving a review. Better yet, send us a show to a friend who might enjoy it too. Love ya. Bye. Nailed it.