The Ritual Nurse

The Pitt, Affogato, and "You have p3nis on your gloves"

• Riva - The Ritual Nurse • Season 1 • Episode 14

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Ever felt like you're just done — with the shifts, the drama, the expectations, the trauma? Yeah, same. This week on The Ritual Nurse, we’re talking about real boundaries — not just the kind where you say no to picking up a shift, but the kind that protect your emotional, spiritual, and energetic capacity. Inspired by the new series The Pitt (which hit way too close to home), this episode gets honest about how even watching fictional portrayals of nursing trauma, or even just overextending ourselves on a daily basis, can push us past our limits.

💔 From emotional flashbacks to emergency chaos, and all the boundaries we never learned to set — we’re unpacking it all.

Then, we lighten it up with some hilarious (and horrifying) stories from simulation (what do you MEAN "you have p3nis on your gloves?!") and my own new grad “what even is nursing?!” moments. Because let’s be real — we’ve all got those stories.

Finally, we wrap with this week’s Crystals, Coffee, and Divination:

☕ Coffee: DIY Budget Affogato (yes, you can make it at home and keep it dairy-free!)

💎 Crystal: Amethyst – Lunar Insight (calm, intuition, spiritual wisdom)

🃏 Tarot: The Devil – Labradorite (break the cycle, reclaim your power)

✨ Want to be part of the show? Tell me your best “you didn’t know you didn’t know” story from nursing school or your new grad days! Seriously — I want to read them on air. We can keep it anon. ;) Email me, DM me, or use the feedback form in the show notes.

Links:

💌 Send your story: https://tcth.org/the-ritual-nurse-podcast/

🌐 Website: https://tcth.org

📧 Email: hello@ritualnurse.com

💬 Social: @TheCodeTeam

Hey! Make sure you subscribe to stay connected. Love a nurse? Who doesn't! Share with all the nurses you know. The more we reach, the more we help. We feel like no one deserves center stage focus more than nurses and our mission is to reach the millions of superstars out there. We'd love to hear your stories, your adventures, your wins, and especially your needs and questions! Email us at hello@ritualnurse (dot) com. Also, you can send us fan mail! Use the link at the beginning of the show notes. Resources, classes, blogs, and podcast info can be found on our home site at TCTH.org. The Ritual Nurse Podcast is part of The Code Team educational platform.

Love your FAYCES!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Ritual Nurse, where healing meets humor, science and a touch of magic. Hey, hi. Welcome back to the Ritual Nurse where we mix science, spirit and a sprinkle of sarcasm to help nurses put themselves first. Finally, I'm your host, reva, nurse, educator, ritualista, trauma survivor and your pocket hype woman. This week, oh, this week, we're getting real about boundaries, Not just the I'm not picking up that extra shift kind, but the kind that protects your peace. And yes, we're talking also about the show the Pit. If you know, you know and if you've watched it, yeah, it's amazing. Stick around for some wild new grad who stories a simulation flashback moment with my students. And of course we'll close with Crystal's Coffee and Divination moment with my students. And of course we'll close with Crystal's Coffee and Divination. This week's coffee it's Affogato baby Budget edition, tarot and Crystal insight. You're not ready for this one, so let's get into it. All right, so let's talk boundaries. This is not the kind you set when you finally say no to a weekend shift after working six in a row, although, yes, please do that too. But the boundaries that are invisible, internal and sometimes way harder to set because you're setting them with yourself Watching some of the pit cracked something open in me.

Speaker 1:

It's one of the most accurate portrayals of the emotional trauma we experience in healthcare that I've ever seen. So accurate, in fact, that I've ever seen. So accurate, in fact, that I can't watch the episodes. I had to sit with that for a minute and listen really closely to what my inner voice was trying to tell me. See, in order for us to do things like read emotional books, watch emotional shows, we have to have a reserve or capacity of emotion available to feel all those feelings for things that aren't actually happening to us in that moment and when we can't. That tells us that real life has us operating at a beyond capacity level, emotionally, I mean, given everything going on from workplace violence to the daily insanity. Well, just waking up every day and seeing anything whatsoever on any form of media, it's kind of like a given. So when our jobs also compound that tenfold, it gets really hard to know where to be and what we have the capacity to engage in. Everything about it, from the lighting, the sounds, the chaos, the emotions, from frustration to heartbreak, to elation, to anger, to camaraderie, hopelessness, humor the show literally has everything and it has it all accurately. I was right back in the ER during some wild shifts, in the dark corners of the ICU at 0300, desperately racking my brain trying to keep my near-death patient from coding, and there's not a soul in sight, crying in the med room holding the hands of the dying when no family were allowed in.

Speaker 1:

This show doesn't just capture moments, it captures our moments and it really kind of sent me on that emotional rollercoaster, maybe not of things that the show explicitly pictured like in that episode, but things that were so similar and evoked emotions, so similar that I was right back in those fields and it just sent me on an absolute rollercoaster of a ride, no matter which episode that I picked to try to watch, because it's like I said, it's not just capturing moments, it's capturing and it reminded me why we need boundaries that aren't just about time but about capacity. Saying no to a shift is totally valid. Saying no to things like conversations, to deeply emotional engaging shows, to even reliving trauma that your brain isn't ready to hold today. Not only is that kind of stuff valid, but it's inherently necessary. And this is everything from you know taking a trip, going out to dinner, doing something social, anything that's going to require emotional input and emotional reserve from you. All of these are valid things to say no to in the moment, and sometimes it is inherently necessary.

Speaker 1:

Today we're bombarded with input like everything cranked up to volume 20 all the time, and learning to create spaces intentionally for yourself, habitually for yourself, in which you touch base and take stock of where you are at that moment and then setting boundaries on what can stay in your airspace and what you're going to pass is necessary. The more you do it, the more you become aware of what is healthy and thriving for you and what doesn't serve your time in that moment. I'm not saying let's go drastic and cold turkey, all of our true crime shows, and can our TBR list. Let's get real. This is about picking and choosing in that moment for the you that is able to show up what serves you best in that space. It might be disengaging from reality with Olympic prowess and devouring two thirds of your hottest spicy fantasy read. It might be a cathartic watching of a show like the Pit, or it might be saying no, thank you to all the new eye and doing something quiet and cozy or silent and reflective. The only way for you to know is for you to practice the rituals that you've created to stay self-aware and enrich your resilience.

Speaker 1:

Boundaries are sacred. They're the edges of your healing. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't owe anybody or any place your presence if it costs you your peace. So take the break, bow out gracefully, let yourself breathe and pause. If you're feeling like you're the only one carrying this weight. You're not. We're all carrying pieces, and setting boundaries is how we learn to carry less. Watching shows like the Pit sometimes some of the documentaries and true crime shows things like that Sometimes we watch them in order to process emotions that we're feeling but we're not yet ready to put a voice to, and the shows run you through that emotional roller coaster of experiencing those emotions, so your body's able to feel them and let them out.

Speaker 1:

The problem is we're not actually feeling them and associating them with what caused them in the first place, with basically the context that they survive in and live in. So we're never really addressing that part. We just basically did a dry run with our body and our psyche and experienced the feeling of the emotions, but we didn't actually process them or address them. Not that I'm saying that that's wrong. Sometimes we all know you put shows on just because you know you need a good cry, you need to get out emotional release and energy, and sometimes you're not ready to process those emotions and so letting some of the steam off can make them a little bit smaller so that you can approach them.

Speaker 1:

So I'm definitely not saying it's a bad idea. What I am saying is if you find that you are in situations and engaging with things or people or tasks that are pushing you past that red line, that capacity red line, are pushing you past that red line, that capacity red line, more frequently than you have the ability to handle in a healthy way, setting boundaries with yourself in terms of I'm not going to allow myself to engage in this right now, even though impulsivity even though I've got the itch to, I'm feeling impulsive about it compulsivity even though I've got the itch to, I'm feeling impulsive about it I'm still going to set that boundary with myself because I know it's not a healthy coping mechanism, I know it's not going to actually help me process what I need to in the long run, and setting those kinds of boundaries with yourself can be really, really tough. So I'm definitely not saying don't watch the shows, don't read the books, avoid the friend gatherings or social scenes. I'm definitely not saying that If the you in that moment that's showing up needs those things or wants to do those things, and that's a good thing for you. Absolutely 10 toes down, have at it, enjoy. If you are finding that the you in that moment has some hesitation, that it's making you more fatigued and you have more anhedonia or apathy after doing it, you have a loss of pleasure in doing the things that you normally enjoy doing, or even if you find that you have kind of a sense of dread towards it. Even if you find that you have kind of a sense of dread towards it, I want you to pay attention to that voice and if you need to set a boundary with yourself to protect your own space, then do so. Okay, so deep breath, let's shake it off, unclench your jaw, roll your shoulders, take a sip of whatever you're sipping on this next part. This next part's a throwback, a nursing school flashback, if you will. So use our usual musical midpoint to pause if you got to hit the floor or refresh your drinks and snacks, and we will see you. All right, welcome back. I am so happy that you're here.

Speaker 1:

I have some funny stories for you that way too many of you are going to relate to. So I was in simulation with my students this week. Shout out to the future badasses of nursing, by the way. And man does it bring back memories. I was lucky enough to go through nursing school with my sister in crime and other friends that have become lifelong friends as well. Simulation and the rest of school who are we kidding? Had some funny moments, like really funny moments, amid the I actually think I might die levels of stress, and one of them involves a sim experience. We were all all four of us standing in sim. My sister in crime and I are two closest friends and, of course, you know, on the other side of the glass, your sim instructors are watching, they're grading you. Tensions are high. You don't even know how to knock on the door correctly and introduce yourself correctly to the patient. It feels like you forget how to stand and you forget what to do with your arms and legs when you're, you know, trying to run through the simulation and take care of the patient.

Speaker 1:

Well, this particular simulation had to do with, you know, doing a full head to toe assessment and inserting a Foley for a patient. So that was our sign off for that day. That was our simulation and we all had our different roles. You know how it goes. You've got the nurse, you have the assistant to the nurse, you have the family member and of course, my sister always had the knack for being the difficult family member. Just funny how that happens.

Speaker 1:

So, anyways, we're standing there and my sister, myself, our other friend have we're kind of turned like a 45, with the instructor one way mirror to our right, and our other friend who just was going through the process of putting the Foley in and had the side table next to her and her quote, unquote, you know, chart the paper form and stuff that you have to pretend to fill out in front of her, and she had just gone through inserting Foley. She goes to document and of course you know you're doing that, voicing out loud thing. Okay, now I'm, you know, documenting this and you're kind of mimicking pseudo role playing in your simulation. Well, she goes to document it. My sister, without really moving very much, kind of leans in towards her and without looking at her stage, whispers to her semi-quietly because she couldn't lean very far forward, because she didn't want the instructors to see that she was leaning forward, and whispers to my friend you have penis on your gloves. Because my friend had forgotten to take her gloves off after inserting the Foley and had just picked up her pen and was about to, you know, write all over the patient's chart. And so, of course, with that being said, my friend gasps out loud and kind of throws her hands up in the air and the three of us, standing sort of near the wall like three stooges, absolutely are laughing through our nostrils, trying to remain stone faced and not get in trouble in simulation and fail the sim. And to this day, well, over a decade and a half later, we'll routinely and randomly send each other texts that just simply say you have penis on your gloves In simulation. The thing I think that makes me laugh the most is how awkward and weird it makes literally the most normal of movements, like how do you forget how to use hand sanitizer from the dispenser? Well, I guarantee that if you're being tested in simulation, suddenly you have no idea what to do with your hands. It feels like you have too many fingers and for some reason, the concept of hand sanitizer getting it from the dispenser feels like some kind of like Nobel Peace Prize award winning mechanism that you have to pull off and it just, it just really made me laugh. Of course, I did share the story with one of my sim groups today. They laughed about it and I think from their perspective it was kind of impossible to figure out how that wouldn't be horrifying and like a near death experience for them. But I assured them that once they become nurses and all of that's in the past that they will indeed laugh about so many of the moments that they shared together.

Speaker 1:

We talk a lot about in nursing school, about what you'll learn, but there's a whole other category and that is the category of things you didn't know. That you didn't know until it smacked you in the face during your first shift or first year as a new grad and then you never, ever forget. So here's one. You know, like maybe saying shit loudly in front of a patient and your clinical instructor when the sub-Q injection that you were giving or attempting to give just bounces off of your patient's abdomen because they're about a hundred years old and have skin like taut leather, only for your clinical instructor to attempt it and break the needle and the patient says shit and everyone laughs. Then the patient tells you yeah, that's why I do them in the back of my arm, can't get the damn things in anywhere else. So you learn to ask patients about their own care and listen to them. Or maybe when you're a new grad in the ICU trying to hang a bag of D5 half normal and look smooth, you know, like the experienced nurses around you. So you follow the advice of one of the nurses and hang it first, snap the rubber off the port like a baddie and get covered in slick fluid before you can even get the spike in the bag, only to hear laughter and groaning from the hallway. The more you grab it, the more fluid you gush out because you're grabbing and squeezing the bag and you can feel your shoes filling up at that point. So did you know that D5 half normal is slippery as shit but dries like Mod Podge 3000? No, well, you do. Now You're welcome. You realize that not everyone is looking out for you. Spike the damn thing upside down like a normal human and when it's your turn to precept, don't be a bully.

Speaker 1:

I like horror games, suspense games and very rarely jump scare games. Getting jump scared, however, by not realizing that if you sit a very recently deceased patient up at a 45 degree angle and make them look as comfortable and presentable as possible for their family to say their goodbyes means that you know, a little over two hours later, when you put the bed down, they're still going to be sitting up looking at you, and when they do flop backwards, the air in their chest makes a horrific sound. So we're not going to discuss how I absolutely evaporated right then and there, on the spot. Bestie, we're just not we're going to pretend that didn't happen. But this is the joy and the chaos and the black comedy of being a nurse. These are some of the experiences that we share that, unless you've lived them, even the stories don't even really resonate the same way. But we live it every damn day. So now it's your turn.

Speaker 1:

I want to know what your I didn't know, I didn't know moment. Is that one story you still laugh about or maybe cringe a little? Can you say D5, half normal when you think about it? I know you have one. Send it to me. I want to read it on the pod. Seriously, just hit the reply button on the feedback form, dm me, email me, whatever's easiest. Come sit with me in this chaos, because I know I am not alone in this and tell me yours.

Speaker 1:

All right time for our grounding ritual. It is crystals coffee and divination time. So the coffee of the week is affogato. If you've never had one, it's literally just espresso poured over ice cream. Aka heaven on earth. Fancy rich, anti-vibes, totally. But we're going to keep it budget friendly because, yeah, so simple. Vanilla ice cream, just plain, no frills vanilla ice cream. Or here's an even more budget-friendly tip you know those super delish, like super cheapy vanilla ice cream sandwiches with the chocolate. You know air quotes, cookie top and bottom. You know the part that sticks to your teeth worse than like white wonder bread ever could. Yeah, that epicness. Take one of those bad boys, break it in half and pour the hot espresso over it. Give it a second or two to melt and there you have a super fancy creamy chocolate vanilla affogato. Situation happening Also for other non-dairy options and stuff.

Speaker 1:

You can use cold brew concentrate over non-dairy vanilla ice cream or frozen whipped coconut milk. They even have non-dairy whipped creams now, like in the can, that actually look like whipped cream and taste phenomenal. And for the extra rich texture you can do a scoop of frozen banana, like a couple slices of frozen banana blended with oat milk and it works perfectly. It's thick, just like ice cream. Non-dairy alternative. You can also do decaf coffee. So decaf coffee comes in cold brew. Or you can brew it hot but use less water for super rich coffee taste but none of the palpitations. So also, no espresso machine, like not that bougie. Most of us aren't Instant espresso and hot water. Close enough, babe. Get it nice and hot. Get the instant espresso, get it to just the taste and thickness that you want. Pour it over. Whether it's vanilla ice cream, whether it's the ice cream sandwich, epicness, non-dairy, doesn't matter, it works perfectly. So make up one of these bad boys this week and thank me later.

Speaker 1:

Our crystal draw. So with our crystal portal Oracle deck. Um, I got amethyst, which is lunar insight for this deck, and that is intuition and calmness and spiritual insight. This card reminds us that rest is a revelation, that the answers we seek come not when we chase them, but when we create quiet. I actually laughed when I pulled this card because I was thinking about the show outline that I was just looking at and it literally is just right on the nose. The card is absolutely, absolutely gorgeous. It's a cluster of amethyst in a crescent moon, with a kind of like, a depiction of like a third eye or a spiritual center, like looking down at it.

Speaker 1:

Our tarot pull Okay, be ready for this. Just you know, don't run away. The tarot pull was the devil card and for that deck it's Labradite. So I know, I know, but this one is a call in, not a call out.

Speaker 1:

So the devil in this deck speaks to unhealthy attachments, burnout cycles and habits that could possibly be dimming our light. But paired with Labradorite it's about transformation, motivation, insight, a chance to let go of what's consuming you and step back into your power. So this could even be something like a negative behavior, a habit or an addiction that's consuming your focus or your time. Is that kind of ringing any bells? How we may or may not do that avoidance of processing routine where we watch traumatic shows and go through all the emotional feels but yet we're not actively productively doing something for ourselves at the moment? Maybe, kind of could be. But having the insight and coupling that with the motivation for change and reflection can often happen most clearly in moments where we are creating quiet and we are creating rest for ourselves. So let that hit while you sip on your affogato that week. So if you're still with me, thank you.

Speaker 1:

This episode was a whole journey Boundary setting, the amazingness and simultaneous holy shit, batman of the pit, new grad, chaos and powerful insight, and I need your help to keep this going. If you loved this episode or it made you feel seen, please share it, screenshot it, post it. Text it to your work bestie. Even if they're not a nurse or don't work in healthcare, I guarantee that what we go over in these episodes will be helpful to them in a really impactful way and also give them a really unique perspective about what you do. Every share helps this podcast reach another nurse who needs to hear it. Set your podcast player to download each new episode. It's not going to take up much space at all. It'll only keep the newest episode, but you'll have it ready to go the morning it drops and you'll get a reminder that that goodness is waiting for you.

Speaker 1:

And I want to hear from you too. I want to hear your stories, your rituals, your burnout, your magic. There's so many ways that you can reach me. In the show notes link there's a feedback form. It actually sends an anonymous text right to my phone and it's amazing. On the code team website, which is tcthorg. You can scan a QR code or you can email me at hello. At ritual nursecom, you can slide into DMS on socials at the code team. This isn't just my podcast, it's ours. So take care of yourself, bestie. Set that boundary, drink that off, love your faces and I'll see you next week. This is your ritual nurse, riva. Thanks for tuning in to the Ritual Nurse podcast. You can find us wherever you listen to podcasts, so don't forget to subscribe and stay connected For all our social links, free education classes, blogs and podcast notes with resources. Head over to tcthorg. Until next time, love your faces.