Episode 7: What College Didn’t Teach Me - An Interview with Author Amanda Maggiore

We are excited to launch our first interview on the Girl Gang Podcast! Join us as we dive into Amanda Maggiore's inspiring story about navigating life post-college and how she became a self-published author of the book, "What College Didn't Teach Me". She shares insights about friendships, relationships, and the lessons no one teaches in school. You’ll learn valuable strategies for self-discovery and personal growth.

Highlights of the episode:
• Amanda shares her journey from Denver to Dallas
• Discussing the challenges of post-graduation life
• Importance of leaning on friends and family during transitions
• Amanda's experience with writing as a form of therapy
• Critical life lessons not covered in college
• Examining communication in personal relationships
• Amanda's self-publishing journey and lessons learned
• Reflections on setting boundaries and being open
• Inspiring takeaways for young adults transitioning to adulthood

Don't miss Amanda's book, “What College Didn’t Teach Me,” available on her website and Amazon!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Girl Gang Podcast
• 2:48 Meet Amanda: Backstory and Friendship
• 7:19 The Process of Writing a Book
• 18:00 Topic that Stood out Most in Book
• 22:38 Resources Utilized
• 42:06 When Should You Read This Book?
• 43:31 Would You Go to College Again?
• 46:15 Support Amanda and Buy Her Book Today!

Transcript

Rachael: 0:34

Hey everybody, welcome to Girl Gang Podcast. My name's Rachael.

Sarah: 0:38

I'm Sarah

Brandi: 0:39

and I'm Brandi, and we are your hosts for this week's podcast.

Rachael: 0:42

Awesome, so really excited to kick off this episode. First of all, we're virtual, so very exciting, and we have our first guest of the podcast, so really excited to interview my dear friend Amanda. I'm going to give you a little bit of backstory about how Amanda and I met and then Kozy's going to jump in because she has a lot of questions and wants to get to know her quite a bit. So backstory on Amanda and I's relationship.

Rachael: 1:06

I was working at a university in St Louis and she was a student worker of mine. But I feel like quickly we just became friends because that's the type of personalities we had and I feel like Amanda and I are both very old souls, so we were pretty mature for our age. We kind of knew what was happening, you know how to make things better, and really bonded from kind of a leadership aspect. So worked a lot on student government and student organizations. But we worked on this leadership program together and had some really good connections because of that. Worked on this leadership program together and had some really good connections because of that.

Rachael: 1:49

So as time went on, you know, jumped around different offices at my university and then she graduated and she went off and did amazing things and we stayed in touch. I've visited her in Texas and you know she's gone on to buy a house and find a wonderful partner and all of these things. So when we are thinking about the Girl Gang podcast and what we envision for this podcast, it's all about women supporting women. So and we want to launch a woman of the season and so when we were thinking of women, I thought of Amanda as a great person to have an interview with and just kind of get to know her more. So, without further ado, I'm going to pass it to Kozy, because I'm sure she has some questions for Amanda and we want to get to know Amanda a little bit more.

Sarah: 2:32

Yeah, amanda, I mean thanks for joining us. We're happy to have you, we're excited for this. Tell us, really, just tell us, like, where you started. I mean where you came from, how you started and what brought you to where you are now.

Amanda: 2:48

Yeah, so well. First of all, thank you so much for having me. I'm very, very excited and I absolutely love your mission and ideas, so I appreciate you involving me in this. So a little bit of my backstory. I grew up in Denver, Colorado, so I lived there my whole life until I went to school in St Louis, Missouri. So I was there for three and a half years, studied marketing and business management, worked for Rachael for the majority of my time. When I was there, we had a lot of fun and, like she said, we bonded over a lot of really fun leadership stuff and student government and we quickly became pretty close. So it was quite special. Uh, they were great years and they went by fast. Um, then I graduated during COVID, so obviously it was a very weird time.

Amanda: 3:33

I left school in November of 2020 in the midst of everything and like packed up my life within one afternoon and then started the next chapter a couple days later. So I decided I wanted to move to Dallas, Texas. I knew that I never wanted to go back to Denver. I wanted to see somewhere new. So I moved to Dallas really not knowing anybody, and that was kind of my start down here. So I have been down in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for the last five years now going on and I bought my first house. I have recently engaged and so there's been a lot of really exciting stuff that's gone on. I've been very, very blessed over the last few years. A lot of change and development in the early 20s to now mid-20s, so it's been really exciting to see. But it's been fun post-grad for sure.

Rachael: 4:30

But I feel like you're definitely on an up now. Things are great for you, but there were probably some struggles in there. I would assume moving to a new city and everything you know, probably COVID related, probably like change of relationships, change of cities, all of these types of things. So what was it like kind of in those situations, do you feel like you leaned on certain people? Do you feel like you know what kind of inspired you to I don't know get to the places that you are now?

Amanda: 5:06

yeah, you are completely right. They were definitely hard times. I feel like that comes with the territory that so many people don't think about or don't even consider, when they're changing so many aspects of their life at the same time. Right, when you leave college you're 21, 22, maybe 23 years old you think that you kind of got it handled, but you are not really ready for what's going to hit you right. There's so many job changes, so many friend changes, so many relationship changes. There's a lot.

Amanda: 5:36

So, yeah, I had definitely some low moments. There was times where it was lonely right. I didn't know anybody. It's hard to make friends outside of college. You're not in that safety bubble anymore. You really have to put yourself out there and put a lot of effort in in hopes that someone reciprocates that to you. There was a few different job changes too. I thought I was in a job that I liked and that was going to work out and it turned out. It didn't quickly, but the blessing in disguise, because I got a different role that I've been in for four years now and have been promoted in and it all worked out.

Amanda: 6:12

But finding those good things takes time and you kind of have to go through the trenches to get there. So what I kind of leaned on, I would say definitely friends and family. I'm so blessed to have people like Rachael and my family in my life that really like gave me guidance and supported me, and that's what I would encourage everyone to do is make sure you have people in your corner that you can talk to about anything, because, no matter how hard it is, you should not go through anything alone. You need people to talk to or just to be around right. So that was one thing I really leaned on, but then also writing. I always really liked writing as a kid so I started to kind of write down my feelings, the things I was going through, and it kept evolving and I kept writing and kept thinking huh, this is like an interesting story and that really got me through a lot of parts of the time that was hard. So it was kind of crazy how that worked out, but also really fun to be creative with it.

Brandi: 7:16

Yeah, so you mentioned writing and how that kind of got you through this. So you know, we definitely want to highlight the fact that you are a published author now. So I mean that's huge. I mean that's like lifetime bucket list things for me. So the fact that you've done it already is like amazing. What kind of made you want to write this book around this topic? Obviously, we haven't said much about your book yet, so please, you know, give us a little intro on it and then kind of explain you know how you got into that

Amanda: 8:05

Yeah, so my book is called "what college didn't teach me.

Amanda: 8:09

So you get out of college. You really need to start doing your taxes because you have a bigger income that you have to figure out. You need to learn how to rent an apartment, everything that goes along with that. You need to learn how insurance works. You need to learn a lot of life lessons that, once again, are not taught. So, through frustrations, I was like gosh, why doesn't college teach this? There should be more classes on that and less on things that maybe not aren't as useful.

Amanda: 8:39

I started writing about that and it kind of started as almost like upset with the college system education, but then I was like wait a second, this is a little bit deeper. So, yes, I talk about those life things in the book and I structure it as this is what happened to me. This is what I learned and this is what you should take from it. There are interactive pages in the book, so it's a little bit more self-help, which I wanted to do so that people could look back and reflect on it. But there are also the intangible things like friendships, relationships.

Amanda: 9:15

Through your early, mid, late 20s there's so many changes that happen. You change a lot as a person and your dating life changes. Your friendships change, right as your goals change. People come in and out of your life, but I don't think necessarily people are ready for that. Maybe they've gone through some friend changes right as life has gone on high school, college. That is definitely normal, but it's a lot different out in the real world and no one really talks about it or prepares you for it. And so I talk about all of the hell stories of dating, what I went through, you know, all those just horrible, horrible moments. And the good parts too, right, but there's so much self growth that happens with all of that. So I highlighted that and I talked about my mistakes as very vulnerable. But if I can help one person learn from what I did wrong to help guide them in their future, then it's a win for me. So it's a really cool book and there's a lot of very personal touches in it that I feel like make it unique and special.

Sarah: 10:21

That's so true. I mean even what you said earlier. I think that everyone has this like idea or this expectation of what it's like to be out in the real world and go to college and get out of your hometown and, you know, move out from your parents, and there's so much more to think about than just that freedom and all the good things. And I do remember from my own experiences too, like that is it's you get out there and it's like it's scary. What do I, what do I do? You know, like things like your, your car breaking down, or you know, uh, how to manage relationships with people. You know your own age or in the workplace or, um, just in different scenarios and learning how to work through those and move on and then find your passion, do the things you want to do.

Sarah: 11:04

So that's, that's so amazing. Was there a certain point in time, um, in your life that something, it clicked? Or do you think this is like a, a process? You said you you wrote all the time? Do you think you use some of your writing here and there to help you kind of realize the things that you've learned? Or was it kind of some I don't know something snapped because I feel sometimes like I'm waiting for the rule book to snap and I'm just gonna understand and get it all

Amanda: 11:31

yeah, oh, absolutely

Sarah: 11:32

I don't think it's gonna happen but right,

Amanda: 11:35

I wish like someone just snapped like, oh, there's all of life

Sarah: 11:38

right

Amanda: 11:39

not everything. No, I think it was a process. Every time, to be honest with you, it was a really strong, I would say about a year and a half of growth that inspired me to write. And as I would write and get more feelings out on the page, then it became what it was, and so I think I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what I was wanting to do with it and the message I wanted to share. So it took me about a year and a half to write the book and, like I said in the beginning, I had no intentions of writing. I was kind of just writing to just get frustrations out. And I kept going and I thought, oh, this is interesting. So what if I could write a book? Right, and you kind of think about it and then you self doubt, you're like, oh my God, no, I like, I couldn't.

Amanda: 12:28

I personally could never do that right, I'm not that kind of person and then I was like, wait, no, like maybe I can. So it was a year and a half of back and forth and I wrote a lot of it. I would take four months off, I think, at one point, because I would just stare at the blank page and have no idea what to write,

Sarah: 12:47

or a good block.

Sarah: 12:48

yes,

Amanda: 12:48

yes yes, or I would be on a work trip and I have long car rides when I do and an idea would come to me and I would just use a voice to text to just talk it all out and that was like a few pages. So there's a lot that came from that and I learned a lot about myself in the process. And then when I publish it as like, okay, yes, I love this, I've learned a lot, I want to share a lot, but you continue to grow too. Like you know, it's a pretty thin book. I would say like there's more that definitely could be added, but I'm happy with how I did it when I did it. I think it was perfect for the time. So you're always growing and learning, but there was definitely a huge growth period.

Sarah: 13:33

So

Rachael: 13:33

I'm sorry Kozy to interrupt. She did this all secretly and then just like dropped it one day and was like I wrote a book so talk to us about that process. Like at what point did you decide? Cool, I'm moving forward with this and I'm not going to tell anybody and I'm just going to figure out and do it. Like were there people that you talked about self-publishing and what that process looked like? Or walk us through that, because in my mind I'm just like I would never be able to keep that a secret if it was me.

Amanda: 14:03

f gotten that from so many people. They're like I could never keep such a big secret. I am someone I love surprises and so when I love surprising people, I love the reaction to it. So, yes, I did not tell anyone.

Sarah: 14:16

That's a big surprise.

Amanda: 14:20

Yeah, it was really cool. So I did not tell anyone about it.

Amanda: 14:24

So I had been going back and forth on the writing process for just over a year and at that point I was like, okay, I have put so much time into this, I need to finish this. So I finished writing it and the self publishing process I researched. I did actually not, I didn't lean on anyone. I did research on whether I should self publish or not and I did not want to go with a traditional publisher selfishly, because I wanted to keep the profits, number one and number two, I did not want anyone changing my story and telling me what I should and shouldn't not add. I wanted it to be authentically me. I know that it's the harder route, but that's

Sarah: 15:01

we love that,

Amanda: 15:03

yeah.

Amanda: 15:04

So, um, I kind of locked in the last six months and I really put the pedal in the metal and I found remote editors that I hired, just freelance, and they went through the book and obviously added their two cents and, you know, suggested some changes. The design of it, my cousin is a graphic designer and I had, so she was the only one that kind of knew towards the end, I said, hey, I'm doing this, would you like to be my designer? So she designed it and then designed the cover of it and then I designed the book itself. So I utilized some graphic design tools online and designed like the page numbers, like those are specifically designed.

Amanda: 15:48

There's polka dots around each page number, because as a child, I absolutely loved polka dots. And then at the bottom of every single page there's a quote and there are some of like the people I looked up to as a kid in there. So I really put a lot of personal touches in it and so it took a while to get the whole process, but there are so many resources online to show you a checklist of what you need to self-publish, so it's definitely doable for anybody that wants to do it. So I was able to complete it at the end of December 2022. And, yes, I was so excited to announce it so to my close family and friends I had mailed them books I they had no idea that I even did that. I said, hey, there's a package coming, but FaceTime me before you open it.

Amanda: 16:37

and all of them did to get their reactions and like everyone was so shocked they had no idea that that was even in the works, and so the video is just so cute and

Brandi: 16:49

that's such a personal way to connect with everyone

Sarah: 16:53

Special moment.

Amanda: 16:55

Yeah, yeah, it was really special, so it was really cool to see, and from there I launched it

Sarah: 17:03

A proud moment for something you've done in your accomplishment.

Amanda: 17:06

Yeah, absolutely Very proud, very, very proud. It doesn't matter if I sell one copy of my whole life or a million. I'm proud regardless. It's the same,

Brandi: 17:15

it should be. Yeah, it's a great feat.

Rachael: 17:18

I think I was in Dallas, like the week before. And then a week later she's like oh, by the way, I published a book. And I'm like what? I stayed with you for multiple days and this didn't come up in our very long 2 am conversations. Okay, Amanda, come on.

Brandi: 17:34

It's all about the surprise, Rachael.

Sarah: 17:40

So tell us a little bit about the concept of your book too. I mean, obviously we want everyone to go out and buy the book too, but was there, um, a certain like special uh moment from the book or most important lesson that you think, just something that really stuck with you while, while writing it?

Amanda: 17:58

I would say relationships, just because I feel like that was the part I learned the most about in the quickest amount of time. So I had not really been single until I was 22 years old. I had basically two boyfriends from the time I was 15 till 22. So I had really never been in the dating world. I was used to long-term relationships.

Sarah: 18:21

Well, dating as an adult is so different than anything pre-college, I mean, it just is, it's different.

Amanda: 18:29

It is, it is, and I did not realize the games that go into dating and like you know not everyone has the best intentions and, like, the first guy you go out with is not who you're probably going to be dating and so I really didn't know anyone that like went through that. Like a lot of my friends in college were in long-term relationships. A lot of my high school friends all were in long-term relationships, so I really didn't have any examples of like what to do and what not to do and like what to look out for what to really be aware of.

Brandi: 19:00

But you learned the hard way.

Amanda: 19:02

I did.

Amanda: 19:03

I did, to say the least.

Amanda: 19:05

I learned the hard way. I learned the hard way. So I think that chapter is one of the more personal ones and the biggest lessons. There's a lot of heartbreak, a lot of heartache, a lot of picking myself up from the deep, deep depths of sadness at times, just navigating it and figuring out okay, you know, this isn't normal, maybe I need to try this. Look for that. So that was the chapter that really resonated with me and was like sad to write at times, but then other times it was happy when I was like okay, I've learned this and now I'm going to apply it. Now I know what I what I want and in a partner and who I want to be with.

Brandi: 19:47

feel like relationships. Oh, go ahead.

Sarah: 19:50

No, you go for it, you're going for relationships.

Brandi: 19:51

No, I just feel like you have some great love stories about dating, especially in, like new city. I feel like that makes it even harder than being someplace you're familiar with. So like kudos for you for getting out of your comfort zone and learning, because you know I, you know I mean Rachael and I I mean Sarah. You've kind of been out of it for a little bit but like Rachael and I have been, you know, on it off and on the last couple of years and you know late 20s, early 30s and it doesn't get easier, so

Rachael: 20:24

it gets worse honestly,

Brandi: 20:27

maybe know a little bit more about ourselves as people than you know someone fresh out of college did.

Brandi: 20:33

So you know. I think it's great that you're addressing it and you know teaching other people what you've learned, because maybe there are people, especially women, in a very similar situation to you. They don't really know anyone, they don't have anyone to ask these questions, and so you know, hopefully your book can get some insight to them and help them not make the same mistakes. You know that a lot of people

Amanda: 20:58

yeah, absolutely, I hope so too.

Amanda: 21:00

And it's almost like you don't even know the questions to ask, like even like as I started to meet other single women, like I didn't even know the questions to ask. Like even like as I started to meet other single women, like I didn't even know, like what to ask them about dating. I'm like this guy's like doing this, like is that normal? Like I haven't heard from him in four days, like no, that's not normal like you should not be going out with him anymore like hey, this one is like texting me non-stop.

Amanda: 21:21

Is that normal after like one date maybe?

Amanda: 21:24

like no, that's not normal either.

Amanda: 21:26

So you know you don't even know what to ask till you experience it. But like talking about saying, hey, you know these are some bad things to look out for. These are the good things you want to see in someone that will help someone

Sarah: 21:39

even like relationships.

Sarah: 21:41

I remember even not romantic relationships, but roommates. I mean that was one of the biggest lessons. I remember that I wish someone would have taught me too in colleges how to navigate roommate situations, because you kind of realize when you're at that age not everyone grew up in your household with like your parents and like your same situations. So everyone approaches things differently. Everyone lives differently and trying to navigate through that was so difficult and then not having someone in your corner, someone else to relate to where you're coming from, is hard to navigate. So I know you said you you kept the book on the, the down low. Were there any resources or any other tools that you use during this process, um, to help try and help find some of those answers that you were looking for?

Amanda: 22:31

I would say for one of the sections I really utilized, like financial resources, my financial advisor for the financial chapter, right? So once again, yeah it is important. It really is. Um, you know, I was a business major, so I was lucky enough. I have, you know, some knowledge about investing in money like that, but a lot of people don't, and they, like you said, they don't grow up in the same household you did, maybe that

Sarah: 22:58

You gotta pay the bill somehow.

Amanda: 23:00

Yeah, exactly,

Sarah: 23:01

you need it to turn on it in the morning

Amanda: 23:03

Exactly, exactly, and so I did lean, lean on my financial advisor for that, and someone that knows a little bit deeper on that than I do. Obviously, I talked about what I do but get financial help. I am not an expert.

Amanda: 23:17

So that's one that I did, I would say. Some motivational speeches I listened to that inspired me to talk about, like communication. Right, you need communication in all aspects of your life and, yes, it's learned a little bit in the social setting, right in school or with a roommate, but I don't know if it's always a focus of teaching, right, I think we really got to focus on teaching people how to use their words in work, in life, in living situations, in friendships, in everything that we do. So a lot of motivational speeches that I listen to just on Spotify really inspired me to talk about that and to go through that, just because so many people lack it nowadays and technology has made that worse for this generation. I mean, we can't deny that. So, even though it's easier to talk to anyone we want to talk to, it also makes it harder. So

Sarah: 24:16

It does.

Amanda: 24:16

Yes.

Rachael: 24:17

What do you? I want to dive into that a little bit because, Amanda, I don't know if you go to therapy, but we all go to therapy and in my last conversation with my therapist it was like this whole hour of really down on myself, of like I don't know if it's COVID brain, I don't know if it's because I work remotely, but I have a really hard time focusing on what people are telling me and retaining information nowadays. And we came to the conclusion that there's a good chance I have ADD and I need to probably get tested, because I'm really all over the place and she was like

Sarah: 24:56

welcome

Rachael: 24:56

to asking me specific things. Yes, um, but for somebody who is like trying very hard to be an active listener and communicate well with their friends or with their partner, to be that better support person, what's kind of like your number one suggestion for people in that situation?

Amanda: 25:18

Yeah, communication is scary, especially when it comes to the people closest to you. I feel like that's when it can be the hardest. I am not an expert in this, and I would ask a therapist for more personal advice, but the best approach that I know I need to do and work on consistently is just being completely and utterly honest. Like as hard as it is you have to be honest and upfront.

Amanda: 25:45

like, let's say, you're having a roommate situation and they don't do the dishes. They leave the place a mess. Instead of doing like petty stuff, you have to literally sit them down, say, listen how your living is not acceptable. This is how it's affecting me. Do you need help? How can we get past this together? Um, that is really the key part.

Amanda: 26:07

You just have to be open and honest, and there are so many ways to do it nicely, even though, like, sometimes if you're upset, it might come out a little more aggressive than you're wanting, but there are a lot of ways that you can reward it. And so, as scary as it is, I think communication is huge in every aspect of your life and, honestly, Rachael was a person that really was the first one to talk to me about boundaries Like I really never heard that term, and she had talked about, like in college I don't remember what the subject was, but talking about boundaries, whether it was work or something like that, and I was like, oh, that's an interesting concept,

Sarah: 26:47

Rachael's just a boundary guru, because she taught me about boundaries too.

Rachael: 26:53

I'm shocked. I'm shocked that you're even saying this because I suck at boundaries and everybody knows it, but I'm working on it. I'm forever working on it.

Amanda: 27:02

No, you're great, but you really taught me, like, what that was. And I started thinking, okay, yeah, there needs to be boundaries. And it's not even like, hey, this is a boundary, stop right here. But it's like, you know, for, you know, for work, hey, my plate is full. If you need me to do this, I gotta give up something else. Right, being able to communicate that.

Amanda: 27:21

So I think that is the biggest thing

Sarah: 27:23

that others and to yourself too, to be able to self-realize that, even even just for yourself, and then, like you said, to communicate to others, and people communicate in such different ways. So if you're not open and honest, it is difficult to even try to come up with a way to get around it or a way to work with it.

Amanda: 27:41

Yeah, open- and honest, absolutely. And that second half of what you were talking about, Rachael, being actively listening, that is the hardest thing. Right now we have the most distractions we've ever had in this world, right, we know over a thousand ads a day, our noses, our phone and our computer I mean our whole life is is distractions, almost so. Actively listening, being present, setting the phone down, closing the laptop, listening to their concerns, addressing it, and when you say I hear, you actually meaning it and you know if it helps to reiterate it.

Amanda: 28:13

I hear you. You're upset about this. Okay, this is what I can do to change it, or this is what we can do to fix it. So validating other people, I think, is really huge. I learned that a lot in personal friendships and in relationships. I think, is the biggest sources where you learn that. So listening, I think, is a skill that we are slowly losing as a society. I see it every day in my work. I work with people that work in customer service and I train them every day. You know this customer is asking for a certain size, a certain material. You didn't even get that. Like when I listened to the phone call you didn't even address it right.

Amanda: 28:49

You kept asking the same question, even though they were giving you the answer at the exact same time, so I think that's a huge part of that as well.

Sarah: 28:58

I had a work situation, so much of that. We had a group of younger gals, probably end of high school, college age, and they were nervous to talk to a customer. They had a group of ladies who were all in you know in their business attire their you know high heels and they were coming into the shop and you know we're supposed to go and greet the people who come in the store and one of the girls was like they like really intimidated me, like I didn't know how to talk to someone like that. And that was kind of interesting because I think I'm kind of the person where I don't really care. I'm going to come and talk to you. If you have a warm and friendly presence, I'm going to probably approach you and make friends. Everyone knows that I will bring strangers.

Brandi: 29:40

You don't know a stranger.

Sarah: 29:42

I make friends everywhere, but so I did not understand where they were coming from. But that relates to what you said. I don't know if it's a generational thing or if it's just because of so much technology we don't know how to talk to people and, yeah, it's difficult, I guess, yeah.

Rachael: 30:01

I do feel like working from home the past couple of years I feel very awkward being in front of people. Now, like when I go out in social situations I'm like I don't even know how I should be acting with people face to face and I think that's like a big you know. Even some conversations have come up are like are you in the right job because you're at home all day and it's interesting. So I definitely think having the human interaction is good and it's helped me a lot, for sure.

Amanda: 30:35

Yeah,

Rachael: 30:35

I guess yeah, I guess I'm curious. So Amanda has kind of told us like multiple things of what college didn't teach her. But I'm curious, Brandi and Kozy, what comes to mind when you think what didn't college teach you?

Sarah: 30:50

Brandi, go

Brandi: 30:58

pardon me, the dog's probably gonna bark a little bit because he can hear me. Um, but I think the biggest thing for me was this kind of goes back to relationships um, you know when to voice when you're unhappy, voice when your needs aren't being met. You know your cup can only fill others if yours is full, like getting that reciprocal effort put in and knowing when to address it, how to address it, when to walk away, you know when to put in the effort and when not to. You know there's resources out there for taxes and finances and you know there are things out there for those more tangible things.

Brandi: 31:46

But those more emotional side of it just being vulnerable was always something that I never really learned or, you know, put into practice, and I think that impacted a lot of my like more romantic relationships, especially my long-term ones. I've been fortunate that a lot of my friends like those friend relationships. I've been very candid with them and can talk to them. So that part wasn't always, you know, a struggle, but I really feel like that partner or someone that you maybe live with, you know, not wanting to upset them, but also wanting to get your voice across. Those kind of things don't always have guidance for, you know, because you're not every situation is the same, right, like Rachael, you may have something similar, but you know, it's two different people in that conversation, in that environment. So what worked for you guys may not have worked for, like me and whoever I was seeing. I think that's a big challenge for people, um, you know, especially if you're not someone that can, like, talk to your parents about it, like, if that, if they don't have like a relationship where you can say, hey, how did you guys deal with this? Um, you know, coming from divorced parents, like, obviously they didn't get along, um, so, uh, things of that nature, um, and just finally admitting that you know, maybe I should go talk to someone that isn't, you know, a part of my life, who can be completely, you know, third party. Like this is what you're telling me, how you feel, like this is what you need to do. So going to therapy, um, you know, just beating that stigma, mental health which I know Amanda, you have a a chapter on that as well which is definitely something college does not teach you.

Brandi: 33:37

You know, I feel like a lot of people are depressed and unhappy in their college years. Even though it can be a lot of fun and excitement, there are a lot of lows too, you know, just because it is stressful, there are a lot of things you're learning. You know something you mentioned in your book, Amanda, was you know every professor comes to you and says I'm your biggest priority.

Brandi: 34:02

You know, and if you've got five people telling you that and you've got all your personal stuff too, like you can easily become overwhelmed, especially as a 19 or 20 year old. You know, maybe not even at home. You know a lot of people go away like you're on your own. So if you don't have, you know, that community that you feel comfortable with and they probably don't even know either, because they're the same age as you. You know there's there's a lot of things in the more like mental, emotional phase that college, just that doesn't matter. You need to learn, you know the quadratic formula I mean, that was high school but you know things like that. Like here's all these equations you have to memorize, like I had to memorize the Krebs cycle in my biochemistry class. That went in one ear and out the other. Like as soon as I wrote that down on my test form, I was like, okay, that's never gonna, you know, come back again

Sarah: 34:53

Right I

Sarah: 34:55

learned in college were more life lessons outside of the classroom to be completely honest. Like I also majored in business and I'm not gonna say like I love my degree, I earned it, I learned so much from that. But someone asked me the other day about that too, if they they were deciding if they were going to go out for their master's and continue their education or not, and they had asked me, um, it's actually my college if I had plans on coming back and I was kind of thinking about it and I'm like I feel like I've learned more about just business and the business world by actually working in it and with the people than I did sitting in the classroom and I had certain classes, I guess, that were, you know, had more realistic experiences and more hands-on learning experiences. But that was something new for me and I think it even trailed back to the biggest thing was just following your interests. Like the transition from high school to college even is like okay, if you don't know what you're going to do, go undecided, take a couple basic classes that don't really, may not really help you lean towards any sort of direction, but you're going to spend your money on those courses and figure it out from there. I mean, when I set my mind on business, I kind of felt more forced to to then go that route and not really encouraged to find the way that you want to use it. These are just the guidelines, the courses that you have to do to pass a test and then go on. Figure out what you want to do with it there, which can be exciting at the same time.

Sarah: 36:36

But also okay, but I got this now. Now what?

Amanda: 36:38

Yeah, and you can be confusing as well. At the same time, I actually picked the university I went to, based on a major that didn't exist yet. So what had happened was they had put that degree on the website and then, when I got to the school, they said, oh, that's actually still in review, that's not approved by the school. And so I had gone 12 hours away from home for something that didn't exist. And it was a professor that was like, hey, I see these skills and these traits in you, maybe you should give marketing a shot. And I was like, I know nothing about marketing, what? So I did and thank God I did, because I absolutely love it nowadays. But I mean, there's so many situations like that where you think you have one track and then you go to the other, or you didn't even get the opportunity to look elsewhere because you're so focused on that

Sarah: 37:32

that's exactly.

Sarah: 37:33

I went to college literally the day I go to sign up for my classes, they tell me I can't major in, that I have to major - It was an education degree and I would have to major in a different, like English or some other type of education, and then get health sciences as an endorsement. So then I couldn't actually go and be the teacher I kind of educated I wanted to be and I found that out the day that I moved in signing up for classes. So I get that. I kind of felt thrown into it and like okay, well, what's your next option? I don't know. My heart was set on that.

Amanda: 38:12

Yeah,

Sarah: 38:12

it's kind of hard to change. I mean, transferring schools was kind of difficult too, so like that's again, just something I wish college would have taught me was more guidance outside of the classroom.

Amanda: 38:26

Yeah,

Sarah: 38:27

and the things that they're teaching us.

Rachael: 38:29

I feel like I had a slightly different experience because I went to school in Chicago and I feel like being thrown in the city kind of makes you learn how to be an adult slightly faster. So you know, junior and senior year I was finding apartments and signing leases and setting up my utilities and all of those types of things. So I felt like adulting, I felt like I was doing that okay. I think it's more of a not knowing who I was from high school, in college and letting myself fully explore who I could have been on my own. Because I was kind of holding on to this long distance relationship and not really putting all of my focus on being at school and being with my people. I was kind of splitting that time a lot. And so, looking back, you know I definitely don't regret my relationship, but I think I missed out on some opportunities of friendships or different experiences that I could have had, traveled a little bit more, had I not been with that person and/ or learning how to speak up and advocate for myself a little bit more, because I didn't feel like I could do that there. Or dig in have those quality relationships. I was in a sorority and I did meet some great women

Rachael: 39:49

But a lot of it was surface level and it's taken years to kind of get out of that surface level and dive in deeper with those people. If I'm still in touch with them, which many of them I'm not, but some of them I am. But you know, we had to go through some pretty hard conversations and get vulnerable with each other to say like we want this friendship to work and like this is why we're bonding. So I think it's a what college needs to potentially teach us, uh, is it's okay, probably not to know and to trust yourself a little bit more, or ask for help if you feel like you are struggling because, again, sometimes we don't know.

Rachael: 40:35

Um, but

Sarah: 40:38

and I think just to live, I mean, college is fun, like those were some of the best years of my life where college is hard as they they were, and as much as I've learned from those years, I was never the one who had like the childhood friends that I grew up with, like my best friends I met 10 years ago in college and they ain't going nowhere. We know that for a fact. So it should be fun, but no one really. I guess that was the most thing I was excited for, going to college. Was experiencing everything and learning kind of like we said before, to how to talk with people. Like I wanted to learn from every experience and network and see what is out there and for some reason at the time, yeah, that didn't seem like it was really encouraged. You know, we were there to go to school, sit in class and for those who had to work through college too, we work, school, go. But it's such an eye-opening time in your life where you learn so much about yourself and the world around you that, yeah, it'd be nice if someone would have written a book to give me a couple pointers at that time in my life

Brandi: 41:48

Yeah, kind of going off that your, your book, says what college didn't teach me.

Brandi: 41:52

Is it something that you should read, you know, when you're like kind of fresh out of college, is it something that anyone can read? Um, you know, what's kind of your target audience with the book?

Amanda: 42:04

I would say like seniors in high school, through young to mid-20s, so you can read it like during college, right after college, before college. I think there are applicable parts to every one of those age groups and if someone can take a nugget from one section in the book then I think they would really benefit from it. So really that age group and it's both men and women I know a little bit geared more towards women, but it applies to both because we all go through kind of the same things.

Rachael: 42:40

Yeah, absolutely. Would you, would you

Rachael: 42:45

oh sorry,

Brandi: 42:48

if we, if we might like get a, give it as a gift for someone we know that's graduating or something like that - you know, where can our listeners find your book

Sarah: 42:56

Yes,

Amanda: 42:56

So the book is listed on my website, so just www. whatcollegedidnteachme. com and I will sign it and personally send it out, or you can get on Amazon. So there is a digital copy as well as a hardcover or, I guess, softcover copy.

Brandi: 43:14

All right, so you get more of the profit and everyone gets a personalized book.

Amanda: 43:20

Yeah,

Rachael: 43:23

I already have a copy, but I think I'm just going to buy another copy so I can get the signature, because I don't think I have the signature. So would you do it again? Would you go to college again?

Amanda: 43:33

Oh, absolutely. I wouldn't change anything about my college experience. I absolutely loved it. I loved the people I was with. The people that I met. Where I went. I'm so happy that I went away from home. All of my high school friends stayed close to home. Very few of us that went out of state, and I would do it all over again. I really, really, really would. I mean there's always going to be ups and downs, but it was very memorable and I'm very thankful for where I went.

Sarah: 44:02

Is there any advice that you would give, looking back now going through the self-publishing process, that you would give someone else who's potentially looking to go through that process, Anything that you learned on your journey?

Amanda: 44:15

Yeah, I would say definitely give yourself time, because it takes a ton of time to edit, and don't be so hard on yourself. There were the courses of the book that I would read. I'm like, oh my god, this sucks. It's so bad the editors gonna hate it. And the editor commented this is one of my favorite parts like I want to elaborate even more on this, and I thought oh, my gosh,

Sarah: 44:40

you're your own worst critic

Amanda: 44:41

you are, you are.

Amanda: 44:43

You're your own enemy right. You put yourself down so much more than you really should. So that's one part. Also, don't be afraid to self publish, because so many people do do it. Yes, it's a little bit harder, but it's your own thing, and no one gets to tell you what you can and cannot write about and when you get to publish it and if it's even worth publishing. What you have to say is worth publishing. I thought no one would care what I would have to say. Why would anyone want to read what I have to say? But over 115 people have cared, so it's worth something. Right, and don't think your voice is too small. And then the last thing I would say is just keep editing and make sure you're adding in what really important things are in your life. Make sure you're elaborating on them and sharing your thoughts, because you never know who it can help.

Sarah: 45:38

That's awesome.

Rachael: 45:40

Absolutely. Well, Amanda. Thank you so much for joining us today. Just to recap, we interviewed Amanda and she's lovely and amazing, so please check out her book on her website or on Amazon. We'll spotlight her on the blog and she's talked about everything from relationships to communications to being vulnerable all these things in her book. So if you think that these are any things that you could work on in your life which I'm sure we all could agree that we probably need multiple of these in our life check out her book and follow up on our blog and, you know, see what's out there and see what she has to offer. Until next time,

Sarah: 46:24

stay bold,

Brandi: 46:25

stay empowered.

Sarah: 46:26

Girl Gang out.