Girl Gang Podcast
Welcome to Girl Gang Podcast, a vibrant space where three dynamic women come together to share their unique perspectives and forge meaningful connections.
Join us as we dive into topics that matter, from self-empowerment and mental health to STEM, business, and the hot button issues of our time. Each month we'll explore important conversations that inspire growth and understanding, all while celebrating our individuality and shared passions.
Whether you're looking for motivation, insights on navigating challenges, or just a community to belong to, we've got you covered! Got questions or topics you want us to tackle? We want to hear from you! Let's spark a dialogue and empower each other on this journey together. Tune in and be part of our conversation!
Girl Gang Podcast
Episode 9: Bouquet Toss or Bust: Trending Traditions & Wedding Guest Etiquette 101
Wedding season is kicking off, and the Girl Gang discusses the evolving do's and don'ts for wedding guests in 2025, alongside changing traditions that are reshaping how we celebrate nuptials.
• Always check the wedding website before asking the couple questions
• Don't assume you have a plus-one unless explicitly stated on the invitation
• Keep your phone away during the ceremony—professional photographers are paid to capture those moments
• Respect "adult-only" reception designations and don't bring children if they aren't invited
• Consider hiring a day-of coordinator to reduce stress and handle unexpected situations
• Welcome parties and morning-after brunches are growing in popularity to maximize quality time with guests
• Many couples are moving away from traditional bouquet and garter tosses
• Destination weddings and all-inclusive options are becoming attractive alternatives to traditional ceremonies
• Family-style or buffet dining each have their pros and cons for guest experience
• If you RSVP yes, show up—couples are paying for each confirmed guest
Stay bold, stay empowered!
Hey everybody, welcome to Girl Gang Podcast. My name is Rachael.
Sarah:I'm Sarah
Brandi:and I'm Brandi, and we are your hosts for this episode.
Rachael:So this week we are talking about wedding season do's and don'ts as guests at a wedding, and traditions that we've seen, that we kind of like and we're feeling excited about for this wedding season.
Sarah:It is the season.
Rachael:It is the season
Sarah:Early March, I feel like kind of starts kick starts it all At least for maybe the midwest I don't know if that's everywhere but the midwest
Brandi:Spring has always been known.
Brandi:I think it's wedding season, like even in, like rom-com stuff everyone wants to get married in like this may june time frame.
Sarah:It's true, yeah
Rachael:and you're coming up on almost a year of being married
Sarah:we did the late April wedding and it was great.
Rachael:My brother also got married in April. They planned it around my grandparents' wedding day, so it was like the same day that my grandparents had originally gotten married. So yeah, love me a spring wedding. So do's and don'ts.
Rachael:I'm really excited to jump into this because I feel like there have been a few situations where I've known people and I'm just like, come on, you don't do that at a wedding.
Sarah:There's so many things.
Sarah:And I feel like we're at such a point in time to where a lot of those traditions are in, like trends are changing, like, yeah, you think we think back to, like the pictures of our parents, weddings or, like you know, cousins or other family members, when we were kids and going to their weddings, and just how different those were to what even I did and what everyone else is doing now.
Brandi:Things are definitely changing
Sarah:and that's both in good and bad ways. I mean, there are some trends that are I'm totally all for, and then somewhere I'm like that's different.
Rachael:Well, I think a good one is that when people send out their invitations, now there's the wedding website so it's nice because you love it I know the website is so nice like you can scan a code or you just type it in and then they have all of the details you can rsvp directly on there.
Rachael:So I feel like
Sarah:I don't have to text the bride a million questions
Rachael:exactly it's just, it's all there on the website.
Rachael:Just look
Sarah:we spend a lot of time putting that website and information together
Rachael:exactly
Brandi:don't assume you know that you know what they say when you assume
Rachael:yeah, like we have some friends getting married in May and I just went onto their wedding website last week and was looking at everything and I found out so I was rsvp'ing for myself and my partner because both of us were listed on the invitation and it specifically said on there if the guest was not on the envelope, then you don't have a plus one, and I feel like people kind of assume that they have a plus.
Sarah:People get mad about that.
Brandi:I have.
Brandi:I feel like, as someone who's gone to, like I haven't like the last years or so I haven't had like a partner to take with me, like I think people only unless you're like publicly out there and like people know a lot of people have gone away because weddings are so freaking expensive now
Sarah:so expensive
Brandi:That if you're just going to bring like a casual partner, they don't want to pay for that.
Sarah:Right,
Brandi:it's something you have to be in like a known relationship. They typically want to know your partner or whatever.
Sarah:Someone told me if you wouldn't spend $50 at least on like a Christmas or birthday present for that person, why are you inviting them to your wedding? I liked that because that's basically what you're doing is you're buying them, you know, a dinner and free drinks and a night of partying.
Sarah:Yeah, like not trying to not take into account the expenses that people will have to travel in for your wedding, because that also definitely matters. But I thought that was kind of a good point because I obviously wanted to invite everyone to my wedding because I just love people.
Sarah:We have a lot of friends but it does put into perspective with you. When things start adding up, it's like who am I really gonna stay in contact with, like who? Who really knows us? Who do we really want to be there to see it? I mean, as much as I love some of my friends too. You've been dating a girl for two weeks.
Brandi:Yeah, no, like you don't, and that's why people
Sarah:Not to be rude, but
Rachael:and you don't know that person
Sarah:Exactly-
Rachael:Like if they're they could be dating a total crazy person. They're going to come to your wedding and,
Sarah:right
Sarah:they're going to be the one person they're going drunk or something like.
Sarah:You don't want to think back and be the person who brought that person or have to experience that.
Brandi:That's why I'm saying like the casual bringing a plus, like random plus one, is kind of going away, um, because you know they don't want to pay for that person, they'd much rather have someone.
Brandi:Like, if you have like a 250 person limit and you have to choose between someone's random right you know, two-week fling versus like yeah,
Sarah:so I will also live for the people who do come solo or who don't have a plus one, because, as the person, my husband has been in a lot of weddings and when we first started dating, I was the guest and I was always at the extra table. So I lived for the other people who were either those plus ones with me or the people who were there without a date, because those were my go-to, who I gravitated towards and had the most fun with at the wedding.
Rachael:Oh yeah and see those are good ones.
Brandi:I had a rule whether I was with someone seriously or not, if it was like just my friend or like they didn't really know them and I was in the wedding, I don't bring a date.
Rachael:Yeah, that's a good, that's a solid option, because you don't want them to feel uncomfortable.
Brandi:Yeah, they're usually, you know, especially if they don't know anyone and you know they just have to kind of like sit there and like try to make small talk with people. I don't like doing that either, so I'm not going to subject someone to it. Now, if it's someone that like I'm friends, like both of us are friends with, and like they know people there and they can we, they're not attached to me the whole night because a lot of times if you're in the wedding, you're at the head table.
Sarah:So and that's what I'll say, I'm going to call out our friends too, because this was my husband's college roommate's wedding that we went to and we had so, so, so much fun. Brian and I had just started dating and I was invited as plus one to the wedding. His parents were also going, but I still sat at the singles table and I kind of thought about that. I didn't know if I'd rather sit with Brian's parents or like at the singles table, but had so so, so much fun there. It was a little awkward and I can see how someone who doesn't have like as outgoing of a personality I can befriend a brick wall right, but I can see how that'd be awkward.
Sarah:Like you know, you're kind of at like this other table and you know my husband was over at the the head table. But, um, I think there are ways that our friends, the bride and groom were able to incorporate. Like they had a whole fun thing where they'd pull a name out of a hat from the wedding party and then that person had to go and like reenact a kiss with their partner and the bride and groom had to do it. So like they had little like activities throughout the night to make everyone feel like included, especially the singles table too. I keep calling it the singles table, but we need a new name for that.
Brandi:But I feel like that's what we've always the fun table.
Sarah:Yeah, the plus one table, Whatever it is it's my favorite table
Brandi:and see those little activities. I hate them as the potential plus one no.
Rachael:Yeah, just like let it vibe. You don't necessarily, but I mean you're an activity person.
Sarah:I love the activities.
Rachael:You always have to have the activity.
Sarah:I love it.
Rachael:One thing that I will say is one time a friend reached out for my address so they could send me a save the date, and then I never got the save the date and I asked them like, hey, am I still saving this date for your wedding? And they had cut me from the list, which is fine, but I feel like if you're planning a wedding, just like, don't ask for people's addresses
Brandi:I feel like you should know your final guest list before you start asking for their addresses.
Brandi:Yeah, that's just that gives me the ick.
Rachael:Or the kids, like a lot of people's websites will say you know, we are like a kid-free reception and I've also had friends that like just assumed that they could bring their kids to it and then they got upset that they couldn't bring their kid and then they didn't go, end up going to the wedding for it, even though they had RSVP'd, which I also feel like if you RSVP you should go because they paid for your meal. So I think it's just a courtesy kind of thing
Sarah:and things happen,
Rachael:but it's all on the website like.
Rachael:Just look on the website.
Sarah:It is we. We chose to have a kid-free wedding. Besides the kids that were in the wedding, and that kind of worked out in our favor too, because the kids that were in our wedding, the parents, were also standing up in the wedding and all the grandparents were also attending the wedding, so they had people there to help like watch the kids, so the parents could have fun.
Sarah:because I think that's like the biggest thing, which I understand why people get upset about that. We're not like having kids invited, but it's we also. It's a day where you don't want to have to worry about those things, and I know, like for me too, with all of our friends who stood up for us, like I not that I didn't want their kids there was I wanted to be able to enjoy this fun night with my friends too,
Rachael:yeah,
Sarah:and not have people you know need to leave early or you know worry about, you know drinking and driving or the safety of their kids and not like fully present in the moment.
Sarah:So I really
Rachael:and you have enough notice.
Rachael:Like you can get a babysitter
Brandi:or leave early because they're tired.
Rachael:Right yeah, I don't like that.
Sarah:We wanted it to be a fun night out and I know that none of us have kids too, so I mean it might be a different perspective, but coming from a mom whose kids aren't invited to a wedding, but that's just kind of where we were at too. It wasn't that we didn't. You needed to be cautious.
Rachael:Yeah,
Sarah:you know kids about. Like there's a fuel tank that's right outside. You know like there's electrical boxes, there's things they can get into Machinery, there's artifacts and planes.
Rachael:Also, it's your day. You can be selfish and say I don't want kids there
Sarah:And I love kids and I love all of them. But yeah, there were just too many things that we didn't want them to get into.
Brandi:And honestly, I think we could make it a thing where you don't bring the kid to the ceremony, either because I swear to. God, there's always a baby crying,
Rachael:I know
Brandi:During the ceremony and you're just like.
Rachael:And we've also had friends bring their babies to the ceremony and you're just like. But it literally said no kids
Rachael:What about no kids, I don't know?
Sarah:Website yeah, just look at the website
Rachael:No, but I went to a wedding in October and the bride was really upset because a lot of the family members had left in between, you know, because there's that, that is there. Is that awkward gap of like an hour and a half or two hours for photos where ceremony's done. You're taking photos like you've had happy hour, you know, but okay, you're running behind schedule, and then they peace out and you're like well, what the fuck?
Rachael:like they just paid for you to be here
Sarah:but put make sure there's an adequate amount of time in between it, because I also went to a wedding where we had four hour break in between the ceremony and the reception that is a lot and that was too long. At least it was down in the city where, like there were things we could go and do, but then we had to go somewhere and then wait and
Brandi:that's actually more common for, like religious weddings, because they have like a set time
Sarah:and it was, and it was at a fancy.
Brandi:Was that a catholic wedding?
Sarah:it was, yeah, and it was at the churches downtown yeah,
Brandi:catholic churches, like a set time that they have to do it because they have Saturday night mass
Sarah:Right,
Brandi:so you have to get in early enough to have the ceremony clean up.
Sarah:Yes,
Brandi:and everything.
Brandi:So I've been to a couple of those where there is a four-hour gap, because then, like otherwise, you're starting your reception at like 2 pm.
Sarah:See, that's when the activity's come in. Well, yeah, I feel like we're gonna do it cool, like I totally understand the reasoning, but have like a meeting place or like an activity or like something. Maybe that's just me, because I love the games and activities, but yeah, that's something for them to do.
Rachael:That's a question.
Rachael:So as people who have been to a lot of weddings have gotten married things like that, does it work out better to get married at one spot and then have a gap to do photos and then have the reception at a different spot, or is it best to do it all in one spot for your guests like from the guest perspective, what do you think guests prefer more?
Sarah:I mean?
Sarah:I feel like the thing I mostly wanted to keep in mind or at least that was most important for me was more after the fact, like just making sure that we had enough safe transportation for people to get home or back to the hotel, yeah, that makes or like if it was ending earlier in the day.
Sarah:I wanted to make sure we still had some sort of like communal place for afterwards, because my family's all late night people, so we're always going to go and have a nightcap after any event. So I want to make sure sure we had someplace to go to that was easily accessible for everybody. I don't know if I've done both. I don't know if I necessarily mind having to go to a different location, but just make it easy to get to. Like don't make me drive all the way, you know around the city.
Brandi:Well, I've had to drive like 30, 40 minutes before too
Rachael:I kind of like the change of location, because then it's like cool, like we'll stop at this bar, we'll grab a beer,
Sarah:yeah.
Rachael:Maybe catch up with some other people and then once you get there, it's like happy hour
Sarah:Right,
Rachael:Stuff like that. Sometimes, being in the same location, you're kind of like okay, like what do I do
Rachael:now?
Sarah:because we looked at some places that would have been really pretty, but it was because of that middle time where they would have had to close off one section of the venue to set it up.
Rachael:Yours was a good setup.
Rachael:Yours was a good setup.
Sarah:Yeah, that's why.
Sarah:I liked our venue
Rachael:Because it was very clearly distinguished of like this is where the ceremony is and this is where the reception is,
Brandi:but if it had rained, it would have been a completely different situation,
Rachael:but it didn't. It was beautiful and it was fine.
Sarah:Thankfully it too, so that was cool, but at least like if there's somewhere where they can go in between if you're going to do them at the same place. That just worked out great for us. There's a lot of casual like standing gathering room. We had things to look at. We had, you know, we had food trucks at our wedding, so I thought that was kind of nice as a little more untraditional those food trucks are part for our wedding.
Sarah:I mean it was really great because our venue was. I really wanted a unique venue, so it was far out there where I didn't want to have to pay a caterer to cook the food somewhere and then drive 35 minutes to then have it sit and wait and then be served.
Rachael:Yes, this is kind of along the lines of tradition. So, like I feel like weddings nowadays they're going for more of like that experiential, interactive which aspect,
Sarah:oh yes,
Rachael:and I feel like food trucks is part of that like, maybe it's food trucks, maybe it's something else that they're doing, but I feel like when you think of a good wedding, you think of food. So, if you can, have an interactive component along with it.
Rachael:Then
Brandi:I also think like back in the day, you know, obviously there were more church weddings, and then you go to like a community hall or something like that, where I feel like nowadays the wedding market has allowed these people to create wedding venues
Sarah:because the scenery is is what I feel like people are really looking for.
Brandi:Yeah, but then they incorporate all of this stuff that you're looking for, like a separate area for the reception versus the ceremony,
Sarah:right
Brandi:and like. I feel like back in the day they didn't have that. You used a venue that was already like pre-made and used for whatever right. You know whether it was a awards banquet or a wedding or you know.
Brandi:Uh, you know bar mitzvah, you know all kinds of stuff you know, like just it was just a general venue, whereas nowadays there's like so many specific venues for weddings and they know what people are wanting. They're wanting a really pretty bridal suite, they're wanting a shuttle service to someplace, or, and I think they're
Sarah:exactly to that point.
Sarah:They're wanting places where people don't have to leave, where they can do it all at one place. They have the bridal suites, the groom suites, like those extra space. People have extra houses, like cabins where you can like stay there, the bridal party can stay there. I think a lot more of those specific venues are accommodating to really have everything there yeah, they're charging enough, they better oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, but wedding in front of anything and it jumps the price, yeah like
Rachael:so what about dress code?
Rachael:because I also feel like this is something that has come up most more the past invitation. Yeah, it does, but it does seem like people are going more formal nowadays
Sarah:and people are like color coding too, like telling their guests,
Rachael:oh, like wear this color
Sarah:Just wear black or black and white only, or a certain color,
Brandi:and I'm fine with it if it's a normal color like
Brandi:that though, if it's like, oh, you have to wear this specific shade of blue.
Sarah:I haven't been to one like that, but I have heard yeah.
Brandi:Yeah Well yeah, you get certain bridezillas in there. Anything you've never heard of.
Brandi:They're like dictating people
Sarah:I will say that
Rachael:it's traditionally not to wear
Rachael:white
Sarah:well my husband and I have a disagreement because I always thought that wearing black was just a safe color for any sort of event, but apparently it's like we don't want to wear black to a wedding. I'm like I just think it's safe. I thought it was a safe option.
Brandi:Oh, I wear black all the time. It's slimming. It's dressier like yeah and everybody owns a black dress, yeah lbd guys little black dress, right, we all. That's a staple and it should be a staple.
Sarah:I never understood that yeah, but I get so anxious about even having like a smidge of white in anything and here, okay.
Brandi:So I'm glad we bring this up, because I went down this rabbit hole and Readit and they're, you know, like talking about can guests wear white at a wedding? And of course you're going to have the extreme brides that are like, oh my god, if you wear even you know your flowers on your dress are white, like I'm gonna pour wine on. You,
Rachael:calm down
Brandi:and I'm just like first, first of all, not that important, but someone made a really good point on there and they're like if you cannot be mistaken for the bride, it should be fine.
Brandi:if you're in a picture with the bride and you cannot tell which one is the bride there's your problem and there was one bride on there who was like my own mom, wore a predominantly white mother of the bride dress and she's like, but it came above her knee. It was a matronly fit.
Brandi:She's like standing next to her
Sarah:style makes a difference too, like the way you put it
Brandi:as well, not wearing like a white prom dress or at your wedding dress to someone else's wedding,
Sarah:right
Brandi:like she.
Brandi:Was just very clear, as long as you can tell on the dance floor in pictures, wherever,
Sarah:yeah
Brandi:who the? Bride is
Rachael:I like that
Brandi:then you're fine, like. If you have a black and white dress, that should be fine, like and all.
Brandi:And I feel like that made a really good point, because I've always been really weird about like even a champagne colored dress yeah, you know,
Rachael:I was nervous because I wore like a pink and black dress but I had white cowboy boots and I was like, oh, is she gonna be upset that I'm wearing the white cowboy boots?
Sarah:but I went to one where it was fine, it was black, only wanted you to wear black and I wore the black dress, but I didn't think about it. It was cold that day so I had a shawl, but my shawl was like a cream and tan, like plaid kind of color and like I'm like, oh, this is the only one that matches the black dress that I have somewhat
Rachael:was she upset about it?
Sarah:I mean, I hope not. I don't think so. She never said anything, but I was more nervous. It didn't really hit me until I saw the photographers and we're all sitting down waiting for, like, the ceremony to start and I'm thinking to myself, like am I going to be that bitch in the photos? That's like she's ruining everyone else's in black, but you're in the cream-colored shawl. I felt really insecure about that. But I don't, I hope not.
Brandi:I mean if it was like an all-black wedding, I would have felt the same way, because I would have been like I need a black shawl.
Sarah:I honestly I saw. I went on the website, I saw the dress code and that shawl was just in the truck and I did not even think about it. But I felt kind of.
Brandi:But I mainly wear black anyway, so it wouldn't like same. I keep a black blazer in my car at all times, so, um, you can throw that over like anything
Rachael:so these are things that you remember from like specific instances.
Rachael:I'm curious what are like some of the like ick moments or like amazing moments that you remember as a guest at a wedding that you're just like ooh, that's not good.
Sarah:Oh gosh.
Brandi:I have one
Rachael:Okay yeah, yeah, yeah, Tell us tell us.
Brandi:So it was a no phones like no technology wedding ceremony.
Sarah:Oh my God, yes,
Brandi:the fact that we have to say this now,
Rachael:I know.
Sarah:We're paying so much money for the photographer
Brandi:Just pay attention.
Rachael:Oh my gosh, those people that are just in the middle of the aisle.
Sarah:They need to get the good photo.
Rachael:Walking in through the aisle like zooming in.
Sarah:Sir, I did not pay you as my photographer. Sit your ass down.
Rachael:You can see the photos when they're done.
Sarah:You will see the photos on Facebook in a couple months.
Brandi:That's exactly what happened,
Sarah:and it would probably be better to look that up than what you took on your iPhone
Brandi:To the point where the officiant was making subtle comments to this person and they had to be like someone in the crowd, had to come out into the aisle and drag him back to his.
Sarah:I told my photographer that I said if you see anyone with their phone out, mostly I thought it was going to be my dad.
Sarah:I love you, dad, but I knew that he'd be the one person to like pull out his phone and make it obvious.
Sarah:I told him just just slap the phone out of their hand. I don't even care if it breaks, just slap it. I like I just I spent so much money on a photographer that I absolutely loved and we really wanted the photos to be a certain way, and I the last thing I wanted was exactly said someone's iPhone or arm sticking out in the photo and then it ruins a nice photo
Brandi:well, yeah it.
Brandi:I've seen so many wedding pictures where everyone's got their phones up and I'm like this isn't. I know
Rachael:Still though like.
Rachael:I want to go to an experience and enjoy that experience and I don't want to have to see the experience through a screen.
Sarah:Can we start a trend where when people show up to the ceremony, they have to put their phone in a box?
Rachael:Oh, hell, yes,
Sarah:like they did, for like church summer camp,
Rachael:yeah,
Sarah:or like Collecting your phones before you walk in. You'll get it in 30 minutes after the ceremony is over.
Brandi:I went to church summer camp before cell phones were a thing,
Sarah:Ours were just starting because I remember, I never actually gave them my phone, I still hid it.
Sarah:I hid it in my pillow,
Brandi:but, like when you're in church, you're not sitting there on your phone, you're listening to you know the pastor or whatever.
Rachael:It does seem like you're more discreet, like if you do try to take a photo in a church, like you're way more discreet about it, whereas an outdoor wedding yeah, no,
Sarah:they're just out there
Rachael:let's go.
Sarah:Best view for whatever they can get,
Rachael:oh this lighting isn't good.
Rachael:Let me move across to the other side and you know, go up five rows.
Brandi:Yeah, I feel like those people are thinking like, oh, I have to post this this day.
Rachael:It doesn't matter.
Rachael:Okay, to be honest, like that's about you,
Brandi:it really is,
Sarah:usually it's always the boomers.
Sarah:If they didn't put it on facebook, did they actually attend?
Rachael:yeah, like that's the thing is like you can enjoy things and you don't have to post about every single moment.
Sarah:I'd rather I appreciated.
Sarah:Some my guests came up to me, like after the ceremony. We're like, oh, because we had a photo booth for that exact purpose. Like, yeah, come up and take a photo with me before the reception.
Sarah:And I was actually very surprised there are more people trying to take photos on their own phone than who, like, came up to the photo booth,
Sarah:oh yeah, but I mean
Rachael:it's I think it's like the aspect of just like it's on your phone, like it's right there, like you can go back and scroll,
Sarah:but I think that maybe I should have like had some more instruction for that, because I did really love that concept of.
Sarah:after the ceremony and before, as everybody was going up to like get their food or go up to the food truck, Brian and I were standing at the photo booth so people could walk up, say we could say hi to each and every person and then kind of do a walk through before they go to get their food, like table by table. Yeah, I love that concept. I think everyone should do that, because what a great way instead of Brian and I having to spend our entire night going table to table.
Rachael:Yeah
Sarah:it's like come to us, you're already walking that way anyways,
Brandi:yeah,
Sarah:and then we can get a picture together
Rachael:it's like a receiving line photo opportunity right,
Sarah:right, yeah.
Sarah:So I like that concept,
Rachael:yeah, I like that
Brandi:I think people are definitely getting away from the fact that you know, like in the past, everyone's like oh, you spend all night talking to people and you don't enjoy your
Sarah:don't do that yeah,
Brandi:but I think people are getting away from that, like I think that's a kind of an old way
Sarah:I mean that's why, yes, and I love that people are doing like the outside events too, like the welcome parties or like the day after brunches, because that was important to me. I really wanted to make sure I got a chance to see all my family, but not spend the entire wedding going to table to table,
Brandi:absolutely.
Sarah:So the welcome party was really fun to do the night before um, and just actually get to see everyone who came in
Rachael:yeah, and that honestly, that was the first.
Rachael:That was the first time that there's been a welcome party that I've gone to. Like I feel like rehearsal dinners are always that like before night type of thing, but the welcome party is awesome because you just get to see and mingle and like you can give all your people their gifts like you did the nice gifts and presentation there and it was just so much more casual and laid back. And I feel like then the next day I recognized people and I was like oh.
Rachael:I met this person at the welcome party last night.
Rachael:Like now, we can like bond and dance together
Sarah:we didn't get to meet.
Sarah:Like I mean, obviously there's some extended family and and even though we've been together for so long, there's just some family you haven't gotten to see in quite a bit. So it was nice that some of those family members actually got to see and meet Brian before we actually, you know, did the thing the next day. But no, I'm all for the welcome party trends. And even the morning after like I always loved that whenever we went to a hotel like had to travel for a wedding, they would do like a breakfast at the hotel the next morning. Yeah, just like get to see everyone actually say goodbye, and so it's like just parting ways.
Brandi:Yeah, driving off into the sunset
Sarah:right,
Brandi:but I also think that is another thing. Like couples are taking a break between the wedding and going on.
Brandi:You know, like back in the day people just they left a reception and went like is another thing. Like couples are taking a break between the wedding and going on.
Sarah:Highly recommend that
Brandi:you know like back in the day people just they left a reception and went like straight to the hotel or the airport
Sarah:yeah
Brandi:and some people still do that like if that's what you want to like
Rachael:decompress a little bit?
Brandi:yeah, but I.
Brandi:I think people are starting to. You know, weddings are so expensive. Now I think they're having to take a break and kind of save up a little bit and then,
Sarah:yes,
Brandi:or they'll take like a mini moon.
Brandi:It's kind of a thing now where they just go for the weekend somewhere close and have their like alone time, but then go somewhere like tropical or somewhere
Sarah:since we got married so close in town, we opted to not get a hotel room for our wedding night and we actually just went home and it was probably the best thing ever because I mean we were leaving for a honeymoon two days after the wedding and I mean, although we would have gotten probably like a bride and groom discount for like a suite somewhere it was, we'd be staying like down the street from our house and we have a dog and
Brandi:I would much rather sleep at my own bed.
Sarah:Yeah, we wanted to be our own bed
Brandi:stuff there
Sarah:because we're gonna get up early the next morning too and go to clean up the venue and then finish packing.
Sarah:So we just
Brandi:No need to spend the extra money.
Brandi:I would 100 have just gone home too
Sarah:that 500 or whatever it would have been for a night at a nice hotel.
Sarah:We just put that towards the honeymoon
Brandi:as you should, because I'm the type of person like I love weddings, love weddings. I wanted to be a wedding planner growing up. I don't really want to get married.
Brandi:Oxymoron, I know
Rachael:really
Brandi:um, but like I keep going back and forth, like part of me would love to have like just this, like I got this image in my head of like how I'd want my wedding to be, and it would. It would be expensive, um, but then I'm like. But then I want to like save all my money and go on this like awesome trip,
Sarah:right,
Rachael:that's true
Brandi:and spend all my money there.
Brandi:So I've got these like two like conflicting, like ideas, um, but at the same time like I go on expensive trips all the time anyway. So you know, like it's not gonna be really a special occasion for me to go spend two weeks somewhere.
Sarah:Truly, if we had to do it all over again like I've always dreamed about having the big wedding Like even since I was like 16 and started like the Pinterest board A lot of the things probably changed from what I thought I wanted to have in my wedding when it came to like actually getting into the planning process. Things change and obviously money does matter at a certain point too, but I really love this trend of going like to an inclusive resort or like going on a cruise and like, yeah, not doing the whole big wedding, but mostly for oh,
Brandi:you mean like a destination
Brandi:wedding?
Sarah:like the stress of having to actually put everything together, like if I truly had to do it again, I would find like an all-inclusive resort, like go to Mexico or somewhere else where food and drink are already covered in there
Brandi:so you're meaning a destination wedding?
Brandi:I thought you meant for your honeymoon and I was like
Sarah:oh no, we did that.
Brandi:Yeah, yeah,
Sarah:I'm writing again.
Sarah:I would do that like where or cruise, where everyone's just there and you can spend the weekend or a long week.
Brandi:I need a friend to do a destination wedding. I have been dying to go on one forever.
Sarah:Oh my gosh. I mean, I absolutely loved everything that we did for our wedding. It was absolutely perfect in every way. But if there was one thing that I would do differently, or if I could go back in time and
Sarah:change some things.
Brandi:Well, if you ever renew your vows, I will fly wherever you are.
Sarah:It's just a big like party where it's just a little bit less to have to worry about and you can kind of enjoy it more, because I'm the person where I was just stressing about every little detail and, believe me, the day of the little details don't matter as much as they really do,
Brandi:every bride after the fact.
Sarah:They really don't matter as much as we think they do, yeah.
Rachael:As somebody who has gotten married, I did like the traditional, everything traditional, and then went on the honeymoon right afterwards.
Rachael:It's going to be hard for me to want to do the full traditional wedding again.
Sarah:Is there something specific you would most definitely do differently this time around? Or anything you'd like for sure, keep the same?
Rachael:Um,
Rachael:I think I would have like more of a coordinator to just handle all the shit. Like I'm going to be like hey, I like these colors. Brandi and Kozy, I'm probably going to just delegate this out to you. Yeah, to be like just plan all my shit because I don't want to do it.
Sarah:Definitely get the day off
Rachael:If I were to get married again. Like I just want to be like just show up on the day of and fucking rage and like have a good time.
Brandi:So I also. So I know you did a day off coordinator.
Sarah:Yes.
Brandi:I had a friend. She lived in Kansas City but they were doing the wedding in St Louis because that's where like family is and they were and her fiance were the only ones in Kansas City. So like she couldn't go like back and forth I mean it's only like a three or four hour drive but like to make all the decisions needed.
Brandi:She didn't want to rely on, like her sisters and mom to have to do everything so she hired a wedding planner and she was there the day of and everything and it made things so smooth for her.
Brandi:She's like, that's the number one thing I recommend, even even just day of
Sarah:even as a planner and event planner myself too, I was very much from the beginning like no, I want to plan everything and do it all myself. I want it all to be diy, like yes, it's yes. But thank god for my wedding coordinator, sue, you are a godsend, an angel anyone in
Sarah:the St. Louis area Be Whimsical Events. Absolutely recommend her for everything because, yeah, I really wanted to do a whole lot on myself, but you definitely need to have someone day of whether it's a someone in the wedding party or a designated person or someone you hire it makes the day go by so much more smoother. There were things that happened throughout the day that I did not even know happened, because I have a wonderful coordinator too, who just
Brandi:there's already everything together already, so chaotic day of
Sarah:it is
Brandi:that you don't need to be so fast, you don't need to be like getting bugged like well, this is right.
Rachael:It's nice because those guests who don't look at the website, even though we've said look at the website.
Brandi:Look at the website.
Rachael:There are gonna be those people that don't look at the website and everybody would just know go to this person, go to sue, like, ask, sue, and that's just who it is throughout the day. Um, yeah, like one of my my partner's brother got married late last year and his bride did not have a day of planner and I just kind of offered. I was like, hey, if you need somebody to be there on the day of
Sarah:yeah
Rachael:just let let them come to me, because I don't want you to feel stressed. And I think that she felt pretty grateful for that because, after it all, she was just like, yeah, there's a lot of stuff that, like I just couldn't handle. It's very overwhelming. On the day of, you got to make sure that you get your dress and your hair and your makeup
Sarah:oh, the last two weeks.
Sarah:I feel like I just don't remember. It was just
Rachael:when I got married,
Rachael:I was up at like 7 am decorating my venue still because it was an outdoor venue. I don't think it was just me and I don't know, maybe one family member or something like that. But I just remember feeling so bitter that I was like fuck this, I'm like decorating on my wedding day like I should be fucking drinking mimosas and not stressing about this bullshit.
Sarah:There was a certain point in time, I think, like maybe two days before, like the wedding, where I kind of just what happens happens. I mean, it is what it is. This is the whole point is, I get to marry my best friend and that's all that that truly matters
Rachael:did you have any super intoxicated people like any shit shows. Um, I don't really remember anybody
Sarah:no I don't think so.
Brandi:Your reception was the most fun I've ever had.
Sarah:Oh, thanks .
Sarah:Thanks, it was really nice it was fun.
Brandi:I didn't want it to end.
Brandi:honestly,
Rachael:it was like a regular reception and then it turned like emo cover band.
Sarah:So the thing that Brian and I really wanted is, I mean, and our favorite thing about going to like our friends' weddings is like the last hour of the night where, like, all the older people have left and it's really just like your friends. So we really we knew that quite a few people were going to be like leaving, heading out by 9 30, but we still had to play till 11. So we told the dj like, play our you know our upbeat typical music, but we both love some of our like emo alternative music and that's what all of our friends rage do. So we want the last hour to just be all of our best friends out on the dance floor and just raging. And it was the best.
Brandi:So one other thing I liked about your reception, and this kind of goes into some of those aging traditions
Sarah:yeah,
Brandi:no garter toss,
Sarah:no garter toss, no bouquet toss, let's start something new we're over that.
Sarah:There's no reason. Do you know? This is a fun fact for you. What started the bouquet toss? I'm gonna totally get all the dates wrong, but I want to say it was like either. Okay, I'm gonna sound dumb, I was gonna say either 18th century, 1800s, but that's the same thing, right?
Brandi:no, it's not. No, it's not the same thing okay.
Sarah:Well, it was whenever, and this is probably gonna be even worse. When was the plague? Whenever? That era was the plague. Well, they had. Okay, I'm butchering this part of it was, um, the whole thing with the brides was, um, good luck. Some of the people would take, uh, strips of their dress, and now I need to look this up.
Brandi:She doesn't even remember.
Rachael:Take, take strips of their dress, right.
Brandi:No, I will say,
Rachael:and like create a bouquet or pass it off.
Sarah:I have to look this up now.
Rachael:At my bridal shower,
Sarah:the medieval era.
Sarah:In medieval times
Brandi:Okay, so that wasn't even the 18th century
Sarah:People thought that the bride's gown would bring them good luck. So people would literally go up to the bride and try and rip off pieces of their dresses and keep it oh,
Brandi:can we bring that one back
Sarah:right?
Sarah:so then it shifted, because brides were like I'm sorry, quit ripping my dress, we're gonna have like a flower bouquet to toss instead. Well then, at some point in time, too, they started putting all these different things in their bouquets, like garlic to help keep the plague away, or whatever. But that's what it started. People were tired of guests coming and ripping off their dresses so like no, we're gonna take these flowers instead and throw that, so you get something instead.
Sarah:Leave my dress alone um,
Rachael:those dresses are expensive
Sarah:right
Brandi:now they are,
Brandi:yeah,
Sarah:so the reason I didn't do a bouquet toss either is because I also it kind of just cringed me on having like that tradition of calling out all the single people and bringing them out to the dance floor. I just, for some reason, like it maybe, was also just thinking about our specific guest list. A lot of people were either like in relationships or had partners there, so it was like what?
Sarah:am I gonna call, like the four single people on the dance floor,
Rachael:but if you're not married like you're technically part of that, but it is awkward then, because you're like well, I'm technically not married, so I'm going to go up here.
Sarah:So then we had the choice of doing, you know, just bringing all the girls out and then all the guys. Well, I also. Just the garter toss is kind of cringy too.
Sarah:My husband didn't really have like a desire to go under my dress in front of everyone.
Sarah:So we had the most amazing alternative and we made t-shirts.
Sarah:We had some really funny engagement photos done where we did some cringy 90s ones and some redneck American flag in the truck and some beer, and then our beer and pizza one. So we took a couple of those funny photos. We had four t-shirts and we printed the photo on the t-shirt and said the Inglerts 2024. And so when Brian and I came out for, like our last introduction, we also switched into our matching Nike jogger sets, which was awesome, but we threw out the t-shirts to all of our guests. So there's four guests from our wedding who have a t-shirt from us.
Brandi:I wish we could have gotten a picture with the four of us that got them.
Sarah:We're trying to think who the fourth person is. Gotten a picture with the four of us that got them. We're trying to think who the fourth person is. So if any of my family and friends are listening, I know who three of you are, but I don't know who got the fourth t-shirt so come forward.
Rachael:You know what something that has been in the last couple of weddings that I've been in are they those glow stick thingies?
Sarah:Yes,
Brandi:the foams
Sarah:, yes,
Brandi:yeah the leds,
Rachael:and those are awesome.
Sarah:We still have ours we use them when our friend's kids come over and just have like little lightsaber wars, because they're just foam.
Rachael:It definitely bumps up the vibe.
Brandi:My sister's DJ provided them.
Sarah:Ours did too, but we had to buy them because they weren't really. Oh yeah, ours were cheap. They weren't going to be reused, but I'd either say that or just go to an Oriental Trading website and just buy a bunch of them either say that or just go to like an oriental trading website and just buy a bunch of them because
Brandi:they were included in the dj.
Rachael:Oh, that's nice, yeah, yeah.
Rachael:Thoughts on speeches like
Sarah:give people time limits, dad!
Rachael:well, yeah, from that was again like a guest perspective, like I feel like there's always kind of this odd order of like, okay, like you sit down, you have dinner, like maybe you do some speeches something that I really liked my cousin did this for her wedding is we? She got married at church. We had a break in between, so we went to a bar and hung out and then we went to the reception. It was family style dinner actually, so it was like the meals on the table which was really nice.
Rachael:And then that's the first time I've ever seen family style
Sarah:I'd rather that than a buffet, to be honest
Brandi:I like serve yourself buffet or like being served buffet?
Sarah:I mean honestly both
Brandi:well, okay, so germaphobe
Sarah:situational
Brandi:if I'm at the plus one table and I don't know these people and I'm sharing food with them.
Brandi:I'm gonna get the ick
Sarah:oh okay, I mean, yeah, I'm kind of thinking like you still have like your own serving spoon,
Brandi:so no one's like really no, that's not how family style works. You get a big bowl of mashed potatoes and you have one spoon
Sarah:well, yeah, but then you're like pouring it off your plate and putting it on yours
Brandi:yeah
Sarah:yeah,
Brandi:but what happens when they go for seconds and then that spoon hits their tray that they've been eating off of?
Sarah:see, and I think that I'd rather have that than a buffet where the food is just standing there open and everyone's coughing and sneezing and like yeah, around it.
Rachael:Well, anyways, first time and only time I've been at a place with family style, which I really liked, but what they did is like they kept the speeches like short and sweet, and then they did. I think they did the dance with, you know, her and her dad, him and his, and then they did their first dance and then they like they did like a nice sentimental dance and then they spun it into like this super upbeat, like Evanescence song or something like that, and then they were just like now you join us on the floor, and then it was just a dance party from that. So there wasn't this awkward moment of, oh, can we start dancing now, can we not start dancing now? And it was just dancing non-stop for the entire reception, which I appreciated so much
Sarah:that's the best part of the wedding.
Sarah:I mean honestly.
Sarah:I mean besides seeing like your friends and loved ones actually get married, but like the dancing
Brandi:yeah,
Sarah:yeah, that's finding on the dance floor at every wedding,
Brandi:unless you're at weddings where, like, there's not a lot of people that dance and there's like five of you on the dance floor, then it's
Sarah:I will be one of that, one of those five.
Sarah:Yeah, I'm very good at convincing people to get out of the dance floor and dance,
Brandi:but most people so like.
Brandi:I loved my sister's wedding and everything but it was done by nine because the photographer after the ceremony took so long that people ate and left.
Rachael:Yeah see, I've been to a wedding like that as well
Brandi:and I will say it took a really like.
Brandi:She dragged it on like it's a happy hour, like I think the photographer should, and she had a game plan, quote unquote, and it still took them forever to the point where they were like done taking photos and were like we need to get back. But so many people left during that time frame, during that magic hour, you know, because we had eaten and then they took them out because that's when the sunlight had.
Sarah:And that was honestly probably one of the hardest things to really time when it came to my wedding was those photos, because my husband did not want to see me at all before the ceremony and I feel like that's really helpful if you do like a first look beforehand, because you're able to get a lot of those photos out of the way and done and not rush
Brandi:I' m a firm believe in the in the first look.
Sarah:Yeah, I mean as much as I. We did our first touch and I love that and we were able to do our vows privately and then get our photos done. But and I love all of our photos that we did. But that was just. It was difficult to time. So it's really preference and what's important to you Spending time with your guests right afterwards or getting those couple photos and when you want to do them before or after the ceremony.
Brandi:I feel like the photos are the hardest part to plan around everything else.
Rachael:Nothing ever goes according to the schedule. You're always behind.
Brandi:And you're always looking for someone, especially when it comes to like the family photos. Someone has always wandered off. Did that, did that? Uh?
Brandi:hit a spot there.
Sarah:Um yeah, I don't know what other advice I would be able to give for that besides. Just make sure those family members know when to be where for the photos.
Brandi:Yeah, but they also have to then read your itinerary.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:If a bride makes an itinerary, Family members read the itinerary and promise you it has some very helpful information in there.
Rachael:You had an extensive itinerary.
Sarah:I did, I did,
Rachael:I read all of it.
Sarah:It was a little excessive
Brandi:the fact that I had to scroll through your whole like
Sarah:yeah,
Sarah:I made like a canva itinerary and I went back and forth on making like one for the girls and one for the guys
Brandi:it was like 15 pages
Sarah:yeah, I, I just ended up making one for like the entire wedding party.
Sarah:Like it had the parents info, it had the wedding party info, because I didn't want everyone messaging me and asking a bajillion questions.
Brandi:I agree, it was just really funny. I showed it off to so many people and they're like good lord and I even had one, she had just gotten engaged.
Brandi:And she's like, can I?
Brandi:have that template. She's like that's amazing and I'm like I template.
Brandi:She's like that's amazing.
Sarah:And I'm like I've thought about posting that template on Etsy. I've really thought about it. I mean, I did so much for my own wedding too, like my own invitations.
Sarah:I made look like little passports.
Rachael:Yeah, they were fucking awesome.
Sarah:Maybe we'll see that if anyone's interested in a wedding itinerary, we'll see if we can do that.
Rachael:I'm putting Kozy on the spot and saying her next blog is gonna be.
Sarah:I can share that,
Rachael:all of this stuff
Sarah:I can share that with y'all.
Rachael:Okay, I feel like last thing that I I want to get to is this idea of something blue being a person.
Sarah:Yes, that was Brandi for mine.
Sarah:I absolutely love that little touch. I mean, I've seen so many people do something different for the something blue and I already had my all the other things, but I liked having something blue as as a person, that was just something. That was fun. You got to walk down the aisle. You signed our wedding marriage certificate
Brandi:did not walk down the aisle
Sarah:did you not walk down the aisle?
Brandi:No, I was
Sarah:right, because you were gonna walk the dog, but then I decided not to have the dog.
Brandi:Yeah, yeah,
Sarah:well, my fault,
Brandi:I wasn't in most of the pictures either, because I felt like kind of
Sarah:I'm glad that we got our photos with you, though, too,
Brandi:I loved the idea of it, and it allowed me to like be in like the important parts, and then I could like balance
Rachael:Peace out and do the things that you wanted to do.
Sarah:It was fun. We liked that part.
Rachael:So I really like that tradition of something blue being a person,
Brandi:and I think it's funny that I had already bought my dress.
Brandi:Yes, it just worked out that way. And she's like look, you don't have to go get a new dress. And I'm like, well, does this one work? And it was blue. And the flowers matched the flowers,
Sarah:it was perfect.
Rachael:It was meant to be.
Sarah:It was absolutely perfect. I love that. Definitely take advantage of your wedding party
Brandi:Be creative.
Sarah:Be creative Do what you want to do.
Sarah:I think the best advice that someone gave me when it came to wedding was as we're giving a video of our advice is not to listen to other people's advice Like this is your event. You and your partner, whoever is involved, do what makes you happy and is going to give you the most fondest memories of this time in your life. Because, no offense. Parents, parents I know that everyone loves seeing their kids and their grandkids get married, but y'all have your chance. Yeah, y'all had your chance like I.
Rachael:I don't change your guest list, don't change your wedding music.
Sarah:No, I want everyone to take back.
Sarah:If you've already been married before to your wedding, and things that you wanted to have done differently, or things you wish your, your parents or your, your family members didn't do, and put yourself into their shoes because, yes, this is the new couple's wedding day and their experience and their time to shine, and just let them do what they want.
Rachael:Yeah high level things to you. Read the website. I think we've stated this many, many times make sure see if you have a plus one or not. If they're not having kids at the reception, don't bring your kids. Follow the dress code. Don't make it about you like it's about them. It's their day, right
Brandi:and just have fun.
Rachael:Yeah, don't get too intoxicated and don't use your phone when you're not supposed to, and stay for the full time because they're paying for you and they paid a lot of money for you to be there
Sarah:they want you to be there.
Sarah:Yeah, so enjoy it,
Rachael:yeah so let us know, we want to hear your uh
Sarah:wedding do's and don'ts, trends that you think are up and coming or trends that we're totally over with. I feel like we should do a part two for weddings too, because I think there's so much to talk about, so maybe we'll. Yeah, let's like the spring season kind of kick off and then yeah let us know
Rachael:any interesting things
Sarah:Yeah, get your info, we'll see what else we can do
Brandi:If they're embarrassing or like horror stories.
Brandi:please share. Yeah, we love the tea. We love the tea.
Rachael:We want to hear those details. Well, thank you all for listening. We're really excited to kick off the wedding season and excited to hit up some of the weddings this year for our friends.
Sarah:Congratulations to all those who are engaged in getting married this year.
Rachael:Oh, good luck, Get a coordinator, yes. So until next time,
Sarah:stay bold,
Brandi:stay empowered. Girl gang out.
