Episode 22: Understanding Seasonal Depression & How to Lift It

The dark arrives early, your energy disappears, and suddenly winter feels heavier than it should. We pull back the curtain on seasonal affective disorder and explain, in plain language, how less sunlight disrupts circadian rhythm, lowers serotonin, raises melatonin, and sets the stage for the winter blues—then we share the science-backed habits that actually help.

We explore the fast, accessible power of oxytocin and why it’s easier to boost naturally than serotonin. Safe crying as a parasympathetic reset, hugs that last long enough to work, pet therapy when human touch isn’t your thing, and soft eye contact when it feels right. You’ll hear how warmth becomes medicine—hot baths, saunas, and fireplaces—along with comfort foods that nourish instead of numbing: potatoes, eggs, leafy greens, pumpkin, nuts, and a square of dark chocolate. We talk scent and sound too: which smells boost calm, why music can lift mood in minutes, and how to avoid retail-trigger songs that undo your progress.

If motivation is low, we keep it gentle: yoga, stretching, slow dancing in the living room, and five minutes of breathing at your desk. We share realistic self‑care rituals you can stick to—skincare, red light, massages and facials when possible, and weekly anchors that give your brain something to look forward to. Acts of kindness and volunteering deliver an oxytocin wave that surprises people, and specific compliments connect more than generic praise. We also get candid about intimacy: affection and orgasm are potent levers for oxytocin whether you’re with a partner or solo.

SAD tends to peak after the holidays, so now is the moment to build your winter playbook. Pick two or three ideas you can repeat without strain and let them carry you through January and February. If this conversation helps, hit follow, download the episode on your favorite app, and share it with a friend who needs a lift. We’re also adopting an Angel Tree child this season—check our socials for the Amazon list and join us. Your small rituals and small acts matter more than you think.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome
• 2:26 What SAD Is & Why It Happens
• 5:42 Sunlight, Serotonin, Melatonin, & Vitamin D
• 8:39 Oxytocin’s Role
• 12:39 Crying as a Release and a Nervous System Reset
• 17:14 Hugs & Eye Contact
• 21:58 Warmth Therapy, Fires, & Comfort Foods
• 25:44 Music, Scents, & Laughter To Lower Stress
• 29:14 Acts of Kindness: Volunteering, & Giving Compliments
• 33:34 Gentle Movement, Exercise, & Meditation Apps
• 38:39 Self‑Care Rituals, Skincare, Red Light, Massages
• 44:44 Birthday Routine & Rewards as Self‑Care
• 50:15 Orgasms, Intimacy, & Affection
• 52:15 Closing Gratitude & Reminders

Transcript

Rachael: 1:08

Hi everyone, welcome to Girl Gang Podcast. My name's Rachael.

Brandi: 1:11

And I'm Brandi, and we are your hosts for this episode.

Rachael: 1:13

We're super excited because Kozy is doing all of her music adventures, including recording a Christmas album right now. So she's taking a little hiatus and we hope that she'll be back soon. Um but in the meantime, Brandi and I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about seasonal depression. The best topic ever. Um earlier in the year we kind of hit on anxiety and kind of led into a little bit about seasonal depression, but um we're going straight into winter and it's gonna hit us fast if it hasn't hit you already. So um Brandi's gonna give us kind of some insight as to what seasonal depression is, and then we're gonna talk about how we can boost it naturally uh boost our oxytocin naturally um and kind of prevent from those um winter blues, as they say.

Brandi: 1:59

Yeah. Okay, so seasonal depression. Uh while I was doing some research on it, because I think we all throw that term around pretty loosely, but we don't actually know what causes it or ways that we can improve it, or ways we're making it worse. Um, so I kind of did a deep dive into it. Um, and the first thing that I saw that I thought was actually genius and hilarious, and whoever named it, I think did it on purpose, and I'm here for it. The actual term for seasonal depression is seasonal affective disorder, aka

Rachael: 2:36

sad

Brandi: 2:37

S A D. Uh, so I think someone knew what they were doing when they called it that, and I wish more people would, you know, make these things punny because I mean, how else are we going to find ways to laugh about it?

Rachael: 2:51

I just envisioned the emoji with the one little tear.

Brandi: 2:55

Right. Mine's the sobbing one.

Rachael: 2:57

Oh yeah.

Brandi: 2:58

Full stream now, both eyes. Full stream, yeah, yeah. Um, but sad or seasonal depression, however you want to call it, um, is linked to a disruption in the body's circadian rhythm due to the lack of sunlight. So you're gonna see this a lot right now because we in we are approaching like the winter solstice, the shortest physical day of the year. Time change, all of that impacts how much sun we are exposed to this winter. Um, or in Rachael's case, going outside in general when you work from home.

Rachael: 3:36

Um, I leave my house most days.

Brandi: 3:39

Well, that's good. You'll get it depends. Yeah, but if it's three o'clock in the afternoon, it's basically sunset. So are you really getting that violent tea?

unknown: 3:46

Yeah.

Brandi: 3:47

Uh for those of you who don't know, your circadian rhythm is your internal clock. Um, it is your body gets into a kind of a schedule. Um, and a lot of that is based on when the sun sets and when the sun rises each day. Um, so time change alone will disrupt that. Um, I know I personally hate the time change, and I think they should get rid of it. Fully support that. I it just causes confusion, especially for those of us that work with within international companies. Uh-huh. Because the rest of the world doesn't do it.

Rachael: 4:25

Um like Phoenix randomly doesn't.

Brandi: 4:28

The whole state of Arizona doesn't.

Rachael: 4:29

The whole Arizona area.

Brandi: 4:31

Oh, I mean, I could go on, there's several states that don't do it. I'm like, it's an all-or-nothing, guys. Like we all just

Rachael: 4:36

get rid of it.

Brandi: 4:36

Yeah. Um, that's also one of the reasons why if you're used to getting up at 6 a.m. every day and you want to sleep until 8 on the weekends, your body naturally starts to wake up around 6 because it's in. We are very habit-forming creatures. Uh, so any kind of disruption. Or not, because I like always want to get up at a certain time and then I never do anymore. Well, that's a that's a different problem.

Rachael: 4:57

My sarc my circadian circadian rhythm is not functioning right.

Brandi: 5:02

You don't have a rhythm, it's just off.

Rachael: 5:05

You can just keep sleeping.

Brandi: 5:08

But uh this disruption or the lack of sunlight that we experience in the winter decreases serotonin, which is the chemical our brains produce to regulate our moods. Uh so if you're feeling a little extra moody or seeing a few more of those mood swings, um, it is because you are not producing the same amount of serotonin that you had were uh during the summer. Um, it also has an increased melatonin production impact. Um, for those of you who need it, know that you can take melatonin as a sleep supplement, and that is because our brains naturally produce it to promote sleep and rest. Um so again, um I personally use it, I just don't use it as much in the winter because I don't need it. Um, but I definitely use it to help sleep sometimes, but we are producing more of that, that's why you're always wanting to take naps, feeling lethargic, um, and just kind of in like a lazy, comfy mood uh during the winter. Uh and I think one of the main things that people know about the winter and the lack of sunlight is a lot of people fall into a vitamin D deficiency during the winter because we aren't naturally exposed to it from the sun. Uh and what I didn't know and learned is if you do have a vitamin D deficiency, it also lowers your serotonin levels. So you're kind of getting hit with a one-two punch here. You are naturally not producing as much serotonin, and then if you do get a vitamin D deficiency, it further decreases that. Uh so I know I personally start taking um a vitamin D supplement once it gets cold, kind of really around the time change.

Rachael: 7:02

Um do you take a pill version or do you take a liquid?

Brandi: 7:07

I take a pill. I just take it with my other morning meds um in vitamins. So I do like a liquid.

Rachael: 7:15

I do droplets in my does it taste like anything? Do you get it flavored? Well, it's masalicized, am I saying that right? Uh masalicized vitamin D. I don't know. It's a liquid version of vitamin D that my doctor recommended, but then I dump it into like my greens and gross.

Brandi: 7:37

The fact that you drink greens, that's enough.

Rachael: 7:38

Okay, it's like greens and a multivitamin and my vitamin D, it's like a drink, and I just chug it down and I hope for the best and try not to gag.

Brandi: 7:49

Yeah, that sounds awful. But like good for you. Well, I mean, you might want to up your vitamin D intake uh during the winter if you feel it. Um so, with all of that, uh I know Rachael mentioned the oxytocin, and you're probably wondering where that comes into play because we're talking all about the doom and gloom of everything else. Um, and they are saying um new research, so medical scientists are studying how oxytocin can help counteract SAD or seasonal depression. And it kind of came about because for women that have gone through labor, your induction, if you were induced, uh, was mainly synthetic oxytocin. Um, so they started looking into it to help with postpartum depression and seeing how it works for that. And I think someone just asked a really good question of, well, if it works for that kind of depression, what about other kinds? So I think we're gonna see a lot more um information come out about synthetic oxytocin and the uses um it has towards you know different kinds of depression, including seasonal. But um, you know, not everyone's gonna be able to take that, or who knows if it's gonna be expensive, and you know, maybe it just doesn't work with some of your um other medications that you're taking for anxiety or depression or things like that. So there's all kinds of things that would make it to where you don't or can't take it. So we wanted to discuss ways to naturally boost that oxytocin, which is your um happy chemical that your brain produces. So um while you're not getting your mood-regulating serotonin, we're kind of switching over to oxytocin because there's a lot of a lot easier, uh, more effective ways to boost the oxytocin than trying to get your serotonin levels up. So that is, I think, what we're gonna talk about. There's a laundry list of ways to do it. Um we're gonna kind of go over what we do.

Rachael: 10:00

So I I don't know if we know the answer to this, but so basically antidepressants are like a mood stabilizer pill, right?

Brandi: 10:12

Y eah,

Rachael: 10:13

so and we're just thinking that they haven't thought of these oxytocin medications or supplements in the past because they didn't think about it or like the focus just wasn't on the mental health. Like I'm curious, like why did they decide to make antidepressants out of serotonin and compounds of chemicals versus starting with the oxytocin? Or if we even know the answer to that, I'm just throwing it out to the world.

Brandi: 10:40

Um, I would my educated guess, I don't know for sure. Um the mood regulating part of that is with serotonin is more important long term because when you do have anxiety or depression, you get more severe mood swings. Gotcha. It's that really happy to really sad in the snap of a snap of your fingers. So having that mood regulator and keeping you at a more stable level without all those fluctuations is better for you long term. Got it. That makes sense. Whereas if you're just increasing your oxytocin, that's just the happy piece. Making you happy, but at the same time, it's not addressing uh the mood swings. Got it. Interesting. So that's my educated guess. Again, I'm not a doctor, so I'm not sure for sure. Um, but that would and and the fact that mental health hasn't been a something we talk about except for the last like decade or two. Um, you know, before it was Shut Up, Hide Your Feelings, don't cry in front of me. Be a man. So, you know. Crying cleanses the soul. Well, funny enough, well, actually we can actually start with that one. Um, it actually one of the things you can do to boost oxytocin is to cry in a safe spot. So if you're in a safe place, that emotional release of crying will actually stimulate oxytocin production in your brain. So, you know, if you've had a bad day and you've just been frustrated and you just go in your room and you just cry for a couple minutes and you immediately feel better, that is the oxytocin working. Um, or maybe that's just me.

Rachael: 12:24

You can just make yourself cry like on the spot.

Brandi: 12:27

Well, I'm I'm so worked up at that point that I'm just like. I mean, I have. I have forced myself to cry because I know it would make me feel better.

Rachael: 12:35

I didn't even know you were capable of crying.

Brandi: 12:37

Fuck off.

Rachael: 12:38

I love you, but um I never show it to the world. The day that I see Bandi cry is the day that I don't even know what I win the lottery or something.

Brandi: 12:45

Yeah, you better play her that day. Uh, it's this in a safe space, Rachael. Okay, I only feel safe crying by myself in my room. Clearly. Um, but crying also impacts your parasympathetic recovery, which is a network of nerves, so it's part of your nervous system that relaxes your body after periods of stress and or danger. Um, so a lot of times you'll cry after shock, or if you were in a dangerous situation after the adrenaline runs out and you feel like crying, um, it actually helps um if you cry after things like that. Um, and I was actually kind of reading it, it's just a natural part of mammals to like it helps prolong their life expectancy by crying and letting it out.

Rachael: 13:40

You're saying that animals who cry live longer?

Brandi: 13:44

It helps. It's not it's not a direct correlation, okay. Just because you cry more doesn't mean you're gonna live longer. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Hard to say.

Rachael: 13:54

Well, and it's interesting because like your parasympathetic and your sympathetic work together, and like if they're off rhythm, then like your body is not function functioning properly. Like my chiropractor, every time I go to my chiropractor, he's like, Oh, well, your systems are not like syncing anymore. And I feel like this could even be part of why we like for instance, I have to go to the bathroom all the time, and when I see my chiropractor, he's like, You're parathetic and your sympathetic uh sympathetic systems like are off, and then he adjusts me and then they're like all synced up again, and then I don't have to go to the bathroom as much.

Brandi: 14:31

Okay, so next road trip we go on, you're gonna the chiropractor before we go.

Rachael: 14:35

But no, it's like so I feel like, and he says if you go out, like if you're in the air conditioning and then you go out directly into the heat, like it messes up your sink between the two systems, too. So, like, there's something behind this parasympathetic system that you're saying of like there's obviously something behind that that kind of causes So what you're saying is I need to just stay in the air conditioning during the summer.

Brandi: 15:00

Got it.

Rachael: 15:01

Or just turn off the AC and like wing it.

Brandi: 15:05

Yeah, absolutely not.

Rachael: 15:07

Or like, let's not turn on the heat until it's like real real cold, you know, layer up.

Brandi: 15:11

My heat's not on. I have a brand new furnace and it's not on.

Rachael: 15:14

Oh. Yeah, we turned our ours on already. It's chilly in here.

Brandi: 15:19

Nope.

Rachael: 15:20

I don't want to layer up as much.

Brandi: 15:22

Nope.

Rachael: 15:23

Okay, well, if people feel like they can't cry or can't cry in a safe space, what are some other options for them?

Brandi: 15:32

Um I think some some good, you know, basic ones are just you know the physical touch, hugs, cuddling. Um, for those that don't have someone to hug or cuddle with or just don't like it, aka me. Um petting your dogs or cats or any kind of furry animal um promotes the production of your oxytocin.

Rachael: 15:54

Um, so I I just think we should bring hugs back though.

Brandi: 15:58

I disagree.

Rachael: 15:59

Okay, 20 seconds though. 20 seconds is all it takes. You hug somebody for 20 seconds, and then that I guess pushes oxytocin between people, increases your oxytocin. I don't know what it does technically. All I know is that it hug for 20 seconds. Giving me the oxytocin. I can give me some of mine.

Brandi: 16:19

Take some. Uh yeah, so I mean, when you're boosting oxytocin, you know, it's just your body's telling your brain, I'm happy you can produce like more of this. Um, you know, and it needs to be a comfortable hug, too. I can't, you know, if if some creep's trying to hug you, then it's definitely not gonna produce the oxytocin it, you're thinking. Um so I mean, yeah, you're more than welcome to hug people. I will be petting my dogs. That would be my path forward.

Rachael: 16:50

Nope, I'm gonna hug you 25 seconds. 20. Don't add too much. No, I'm no, it's gonna be 25 seconds, you know.

Brandi: 16:57

I'm gonna be wrestling away after that 20, even maybe before that.

Rachael: 17:01

Um I think that's my goal for this next year, though, is just like hug Brandi a bunch and make her eventually love to hug. Goal for 2026.

Brandi: 17:11

Okay, let me let me put this way. Um, I will never really initiate hugs unless I think you really need it. Um I will receive them occasionally. My ex-boyfriend in college gave the best hugs, so I didn't mind when he gave them to me because they were just you just you don't get the right people in your life.

Rachael: 17:34

I feel like I can count on one hand how many people can give good hugs, and we all need more people in our lives that can give good hugs.

Brandi: 17:41

Well, he's not in my life anymore, thank god. But he had great hugs.

Rachael: 17:46

People just like half-ass these hugs nowadays. They're like, oh, said hug, oh, pat on the bed. No, like give me a full-on hug, like pat my back for a couple of minutes.

Brandi: 17:56

I'm not gonna pat your back.

Rachael: 17:57

Like, not pat it, but like rub it, you know? Like, I just like I want you to know that you can. Nope. Brandi's wearing me. She's like, yep, yep, yep. If you want to know how Brandi and I's friendship works, one of our friends was crying one day, and I was immediately like, come here, let me snuggle you. And Brandi's like, here's the tissue. Stop crying. That's just it.

Brandi: 18:17

Move on. Yeah, I immediately she immediately went in for the hug, and I immediately went to find a tissue because she needed to wipe her tears. It's the uh emotional verse logic of our friendship here.

Rachael: 18:29

Goals for 2026, all the hugs.

Brandi: 18:32

No, because that's just awkward. And speaking of awkward, you can also add eye contact to your hugs, which also causes a boost in oxytocin. Uh, in fact, a sustained soft gaze deepens trust between two people, therefore promoting your happy chemical.

Rachael: 18:52

This one would be a lot harder for me. I will hug you, but I probably won't make eye contact with you while I'm hugging you. I'm just gonna like snuggle your neck because you're a little bit taller than me. But the eye contact thing, like, I don't look at people in the eyes for more than a couple of seconds because people might take it the wrong way.

Brandi: 19:10

Like, if I see your eyes soft gaze.

Rachael: 19:13

Soft- but like what does it mean? Is soft gaze like I love you, or like I'm trying to sleep with you, or like I'm like Well of the above? I don't know. I just thought it was funny. Yeah, I don't know. This one, proceed with caution, but you do you, and in this world of technology, I mean everybody could probably work on their eye contact. No kidding.

Brandi: 19:37

Speaking of that, uh positive social connections are also on the list to boost oxytocin. Time with friends, preferably face-to-face, like in person. Um, obviously, with technology, it makes it easier to, you know, connect with other friends, you know, that maybe live far away. Um, heartfelt text, things like that do boost it, but I really think that person-to-person interaction is the most effective because um, you know, laughter is something else that's on the list. And I think you tend to laugh more when you are talking in person, having a conversation versus texting back and forth.

Rachael: 20:19

Didn't I see something? And I think I sent it to the girl group, is like every 22 days, females at least need interaction with their girlfriends.

Brandi: 20:27

That sounds about right.

Rachael: 20:28

To like vent, you know, get some things off their chest. And I think that like after so many days, you need more of that like connected social time to like reset your batteries, basically.

Brandi: 20:42

I can bel I can see that. Well, and not only does the laughter boost your oxytocin, but it reduces your cortisol levels, which uh is caused from stress. And it actually, if you're producing too much cortisol, uh it causes you to uh gain uh weight uh actually pretty uh pretty quickly. So if you have high cortisol levels, uh if you're trying to lose weight, uh it's much harder. Or you know, if you're not act uh you know, active and eating as well, you know you could easily gain weight with high cortisol levels.

Rachael: 21:18

So you're saying if I'm feeling depressed, I go see a comedian with my friends and just laugh my ass off and then I'll lose a few pounds.

Brandi: 21:26

Maybe not pounds, but at least help. It'll help maintain.

Rachael: 21:31

Get me going in the right direction.

Brandi: 21:33

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, um, you know, on this list, I I found that there are several things on here that I do when it gets cold out, when it is winter, and part of me thinks it's because I'm getting that that oxy hit, oxytocin hit, um, from doing some of these, and I saw I've subconsciously enjoy doing them more this time of year. Uh so anything that provides warmth, I think that's why women like fuzzy blankets so much, and we all have a quite large collection of blankets. At least most of the women I know.

Rachael: 22:11

I have a weighted blanket. Do you have a weighted blanket?

Brandi: 22:13

No.

Rachael: 22:15

That was a gift last year, Christmas.

Brandi: 22:16

I think I ran too hot, and I think that would make me claustrophobic.

Rachael: 22:20

That makes sense. It is warm. It's warm compared.

Brandi: 22:22

Um, but taking warm baths or getting into saunas during the winter actually helps produce oxytocin. Um, and fireplaces, being near a fire that's providing warmth also helps. Yeah, and when I think winter or like Christmas scenes, it's always a fireplace with a fire in it. Um, so I I am a bit of a pyro too. So that might be another reason why I like you sprinkle those Doritos on your um Actually, I didn't know that until a couple years ago when our friends told us.

Rachael: 22:55

Fun fact, friends, if you need to get a fire started, just sprinkle some Doritos or Fritos, basically any type of chip.

Brandi: 23:02

And uh Doritos is a really good candle.

Rachael: 23:04

Yeah, Doritos really are the best.

Brandi: 23:06

So, you know, if it catches fire that easy, what's it doing to our bodies? That's a whole other question. Exactly. Worth it though, cool ranch all the way. Yeah, those are it's nice because you got a snack and a fire starter all the time. Exactly. Um, something else that I do in the winter a lot um is it's soup season for me. And they're saying comforting foods that are nutrient dense um will really help with the oxytocin production. We're talking potatoes, eggs, leafy greens, dark chocolate, pumpkin, any kind of nut. Um except yeah, that we won't go down that path.

Rachael: 23:49

Food nuts, food nuts, tree nuts, peanuts, that kind of the edible kinds that you digest, not like for fun ways, you know. What squirrels eat. Um but hey, that leans into like that physical touch, so you do you boo-boo.

Brandi: 24:04

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Um, so I feel like a lot of these, you know, a lot of people eat dark chocolate in the winter, um, or have like hot dark chocolate drinks, potatoes. I mean, I'll eat potatoes year-round, but I feel like potato soup, things like that, like are more likely to eat like a hot potato in the winter, and then pumpkin. Pumpkin pie counts, it's got pumpkin in it, which might have a bunch of sugar as well. Um, so all those foods uh can help uh bring out the oxytocin. So you can eat your feelings, everyone. I am giving you that permission.

Rachael: 24:41

I feel like I'll probably pronounce this dish wrong, but last year I started making a dish called Kitchari, which is like rice, grains, and you just have like a bunch of spices, maybe some like coconut milk or something like that. You put it in the I mean you don't have to do it in like the Instapot, but that's how I made it. And it's just like a little hug in your belly, and it's amazing. And I just like did that for like weeks on end.

Brandi: 25:11

Well, it's comforting to you, so therefore it's gonna cause you to produce happy chemicals. Hell yeah. Um yeah, so I mean we can kind of go through all of the the senses here. We've talked about food, physical touch, um, but as far as like sounds, music, soothing music, um, something that brings you joy will also bring oxytocin out, which is probably why I feel so happy at concerts. Um Christmas music? Uh not until after Thanksgiving, but sure. And even now, and even then it depends on the song because I worked retail for many years, and there's certain songs that trigger me. So um if you even think about playing Mariah Carey near me, I will cut you. Uh she can stay frozen for all I care. I don't um and then scents. So there are several specific scents that actually help with oxytocin production, and they are lavender, vanilla, rose, and frankincense. And I'm sure there's more out there. Anything that you like the smell of and kind of gives you that warm feeling when you smell it, because I love a good, like baked good candle.

Rachael: 26:33

Oh yeah. Like pumpkin spice, scensies, apple cider,

Brandi: 26:38

pumpkin pecan waffles from Bath Body Works. Oh, yeah. I used my last candle. I I had like half a dozen of these candles in my house. And I've been on a I've banned myself from Bath Body Works because I had so many candles. I was like, I have to use what I have. And I burnt my my last one is is done now, so I gotta go buy more.

Rachael: 27:02

What is it called?

Brandi: 27:02

Pumpkin pumpkin pecan waffle uh waffles, yeah. Pumpkin pecan waffles.

Rachael: 27:08

Interesting, interesting.

Brandi: 27:09

It's so good. One of my roommates in college introduced it to me and I've been obsessed with it ever since.

Rachael: 27:14

I love that. I feel like you know it's fall when you're like, oh yeah, now I can put the pumpkin smelling things back in my Scenty and like make my office all nice and cozy.

Brandi: 27:25

Yeah, and it's comforting.

Rachael: 27:27

Exactly. Although lavender, I feel like I used to find lavender very comforting. And when I was having like my really bad anxiety and panic attacks, my sister stocked me up with all this lavender stuff. Like, she gave me like a little roly pin that I could either like roll on my wrist or like I could smell it. She gave me like a little pillow that I could put on my eyes that smelled like lavender, and now every time I smell lavender, I'm like, Am I having a panic attack?

Brandi: 27:56

What's happening? Yeah, I mean, you're just associate, it's not comforting to you now because you associate it with that time. Yeah, so I I get that. Scents are a very strong memory indicator for people. Like you can smell something and it'll instantly take you to that moment. Uh, so I have no doubt that that triggers things for you. I personally love lavender, like love it. That's one of my favorite non-baked good scents for candles.

Rachael: 28:26

I really love jasmine. Have you ever smelled jasmine?

Brandi: 28:29

Yeah, I'm kind of weird about floral scents in general. Yeah. Um, and I hate, hate vanilla.

Rachael: 28:37

Really?

Brandi: 28:38

Yes, it gives me a headache.

Rachael: 28:40

Oh, interesting.

Brandi: 28:41

And it's my mom's favorite scent, so that's always fun. Fun times. I'm like, mom, can you you need to switch candles when I'm coming over? And she does. Like, she won't burn it before I come over because she knows.

Rachael: 28:54

Thanks, Mom.

Brandi: 28:55

So that, you know, kind of falls into the acts of kindness point of view. Um, which I also think is great because a little around this time of year, a lot of people are fundraising and volunteering and you know, kind of giving back to the community during this holiday season. You know, whether it's a food bank drive, um, my TikTok is full of people doing angel trees and that are kind of doing a an overview of what they buy for these people. Um and I've and from that I've actually seen a lot of people that were angel tree kids speak about their impact that those things, like those gifts had on them, which kind of gives you like that feel-good moment, and you're like, okay, you know, the kids are getting, you know, a lot out of it when they're they're younger and things like that. So definitely now is the time during the winter months. I know it's harder to do uh because it's mainly indoor activities and you're tired, but volunteering now will help you feel better this winter. I support that. Yeah. I mean you should volunteer all the time, but I do know no one wants to leave their house again after they get home, take their bra off, put jammies on. And it's dark out, like you just want to stay home. So I can see why it's harder, you know, and we're more lethargic and tired. So you're not gonna, you know, feel the drive and motivation to do it.

Rachael: 30:21

But I don't but I do think acts of kindness could be not even volunteering. Like, I do support volunteering and I feel like it's brought a lot of meaning back into my life now that I've started doing it again. But I think acts of kindness can even go a long way of like if you're at the grocery store and like you see something, like you mention something, like even just complimenting people, like, hey, I really like you know your coat. Like I saw this girl the other she came to my dance class and I was like, I really like your coat. Like just talk to somebody, give them a compliment if you notice something, or um you know, like pick up trash. Like if you're doing something good for the environment or you know, somebody else, then I think that also kind of could boost it in in ways of it.

Brandi: 31:07

I mean I try to make it a goal every day to compliment someone. Um and I try to mix it up. Sometimes it's something at work, um, or if I'm out with friends, you know, I'll compliment them. But like you said, the random, um, you know, you're out at a grocery store or, you know, you just see someone, you know, you're walking past someone out doing some activity. I always try to give a compliment. And a not just a generic compliment. Like I am very specific and intentional when I give my compliment so that they know it's it's not generic. Like I truly mean it and I feel like that goes a lot further than just being like oh yeah you look great today. Like no that is an awesome sweater. I love that on you. Or um if someone's rocking like a color that's just like great with their skin tone and everything I'm like you need to get more of that color like that is so good on you. And you just I can just see their you know confidence and their their attitude just peek a little bit on that.

Rachael: 32:11

But and you can do it with some eye contact when you're giving them the compliment you're like nice I'm not blinking.

Brandi: 32:19

That looks great on you.

Rachael: 32:20

That looks great on you.

Brandi: 32:21

Just just creep over the fence and be like that's a nice color on you and then just like the guy on um home improvement the the neighbor that's a nice grill you got there. But you mentioned uh your dance class and while exercise isn't necessarily on the list um it did mention different types of gentle movement so think yoga um even slow dancing so you know you got your that Christmas music playing and that fire going and you got a little bit of Christmas music on just you know if you've got your partner just make them slow dance with you in the living room even um love that although regular exercise could come in handy here as well because I mean exercise increases endorphins and endorphins make you happy right and happy people don't kill their husbands. Exactly they just don't love you Elwood um yes so in that regard yes I mean exercising will help you in a lot of ways so don't ever stop that but if you're not feeling the energy to do a full jazz dance workout or Zumba or whatever you do Rachael

Rachael: 33:37

Mixxed Fit come on

Brandi: 33:38

yeah that then you can do like stretching or yoga just something that still gets your body moving um but in a more comforting less hectic way um along you know with with yoga a lot of that's around meditation um so meditation's always good too I've actually it kind of comes in waves like sometimes I'm like oh I need to really work on meditation because my brain does not shut off and then there's other times where I'm like this is stupid I can't do it I don't want to touch it uh so I go in waves of of trying to meditate and I've gotten better um you meditate sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes like especially if I've got like a lot of anxiety I'll try to you know I've got the Calm app.

Rachael: 34:25

Yeah love the calm app

Brandi: 34:26

I get it free from work hell yeah so I use that I use it daily because it's got the sleep sound that I my white noise oscillating fan that plays while I'm in bed because my actual fan broke so I switched to my phone so that plays all night.

Rachael: 34:43

Um I use the Finch soundscapes and those are okay.

Brandi: 34:48

See I have Finch but I only use it for the to-do list. So but and then if there's days where I really can't fall asleep I listen to the sleep stories on it. And there's a couple of those that'll put me out in seconds.

Rachael: 35:04

The train is going up the hill that one yeah yeah oh yeah.

Brandi: 35:08

Um so while I don't necessarily like meditate a lot I do just sometimes just try to like sit there and do breathing exercises which is kind of the first step of meditating um it's never for like a long period of time.

Rachael: 35:23

Well and I think when most people think meditation they think oh man I gotta like sit on a pillow cross my legs.

Brandi: 35:29

I do it at my desk all the time at work.

Rachael: 35:31

You should just do it in a place where you're comfortable like if you're just sitting on your couch hang out there for a few minutes and just there's um I think when I started meditating I was reading the book called Bliss and it was just like make it the most basic simple thing that you could do. Sit on your couch and just not even close your eyes but just kind of sit there and um I don't know if it was uh or what but it was just like yeah but it but it was some it was something simple like that that was just like just keep repeating that for like five minutes and like don't try to make it more complicated than that and it worked pretty well.

Brandi: 36:13

Well and I mean some of the apps that we use we you know we talked about the sleepscapes or what soundscapes but there's also playlists on there that help you meditate. So if you're listening to it kind of puts you in that that meditation state mentally um so I'll occasionally use those if needed but a lot of times my meditation's really just around breathing exercises.

Rachael: 36:34

Oh yeah I do that on Finch too I'm like yes deep breathing.

Brandi: 36:38

They've got all kinds of uh nice breathing exercises on there. So we are firm supporters of the Finch app. We love it. We use it daily I actually just passed my 365th my one year streak.

Rachael: 36:51

Dang get it girl

Brandi: 36:52

yeah I mean I've had it longer but I've officially done it every day. Well I mean not fully because there's sometimes where I have my I pay to have my streak continue. Yeah but you get a free streak come on yeah or you used to be able to use your coins that you get to to pay for it but I did hit that mark so I'm pretty proud um grats thank you about that for you yeah um you know so meditation all this stuff we're talking about self-care which I know you are very big on Rachael you've got like days that you do certain things

Rachael: 37:28

Sundays are my face mask and my foot mask days so feet well yeah but I mean when you do a foot mask then your feet are like soft and not as gross. But honestly I take really hot ass showers like scolding. Yeah the warmth so you got the warmth thing I take like a 30 minute hot shower just like keep bumping up that heat sometimes I lay down just depends on how I'm feeling then as soon as I get out of the shower I go straight into a face mask and foot mask. Actually I haven't done it in a few weeks I should probably do that it's probably why I've been feeling a little off but game changer. It just like I don't know like rituals for yourself whatever your thing is I think it's just helpful to find what you like to do and kind of stick with it and we're it's really easy to forget about taking care of yourself. So if you find something and you like it go for it.

Brandi: 38:26

Yeah and I mean that can even be you mentioned face mask but that can even just be your your daily skincare routine. Oh yeah what you put on when you wake up what you put on before you go to bed um we're all uh getting to that age where we should be doing at least moisturizer if not more products see our episode with Kelsey from earlier this year on skincare. Oh you have beef tallow on your face people no beef tallow no beef tallow uh red light therapy I've actually done this a little bit I don't have my own red light mask thing I think they're funny but um they're they make um it's like a tanning bed but it's red light bulbs in it and you can get like red light therapy throughout your whole body and it helps with um a lot of stuff I think you can get these like through FSA and HSA now too some of the I've seen like some of the mass stuff that you can do. Yeah yep um because they are linking it to a lot of of uh health benefits um and then kind into physical touch massages I know I am a slut for a hot stone massage like from a professional from a professional they they know what temperature those rocks those stones need to be at massages are real nice oh they are I um that used to be part of my birthday routine is I'd get a massage and facial um I was just gonna say that like for a year at least it's been more than a year because not this past birthday of yours but the birthday before when we went out to Katie's and we were getting dinner you're like I got a facial and I'm like

Rachael: 40:03

I really want a facial still have not gotten a facial but it's on my list to do it for my birthday.

Brandi: 40:07

Yeah my girl that I went to last time wasn't there. This one was nice but um this time I only I've I've been better about budgeting and stuff so uh the two together were pretty expensive at the spa I go to so this year I just did the facial and that is because like most of the work that's done for me in a massage is around my shoulders and neck like that's where I'm tense. And a facial they actually do like a light shoulder and neck massage and then they do a scalp massage too. So I just did the facial this time because it clears up my pores you know I get all of the benefits of that but then they also do um you know an upper body uh massage so it was kind of a two in one and it saved me a hundred bucks. So um I still did my birthday routine minus the massage so yeah I birthday routine is self-care oh it it really is like I take off work which we don't get that day like you do because you said you had a birthday day at work last year yeah um a lot of companies are moving towards that um but I just used a floating holiday because to me my birthday is a holiday. Exactly um yeah and I have from breakfast until evening I've got I've got a routine I do every it started last year and I've done it two years in a row now. What's the routine? Oh we want to go into that now um okay so I wake up well I sleep in always sleep in as much as the dogs allow me. Uh and then I go to my favorite breakfast place and get my French toast meal. And keep in mind I do all this by myself. Yeah no one joins me. It is knee day to a tea um it used to be I'd always do a birthday trip um but the last couple years I hasn't worked out that way so if I'm not traveling this is my birthday routine so I go to breakfast I get my favorite breakfast spot um as long as it's on a weekday if it's a weekend it's kind of iffy getting in there because they're they're really popular on the weekends. And then I go and I usually time it to where my spa day starts like early afternoon like right after my breakfast time so I go there it's just right down the road from my breakfast place the location I go to and you know I have either a facial and or massage kind of whatever I'm feeling um and then I go around and get all of my birthday goodies in the afternoon. So I was able I'm in I love using apps to order food all that stuff so I am in so many reward programs with these restaurants. You're getting like your Starbucks drink you're getting your Chipotle you're getting well and some of them you can do it it doesn't have to be on your birthday you can use it for up to a month after so there was a week straight I was using free food from my birthday to get um so it's great highly recommend it even if you don't use your apps to order just getting on them like I don't really eat Buffalo Wild Wings anymore but I got a six piece boneless wing. You get free guac at Chipotle you get a free Calzone at Sauce on the Side which is a local restaurant here like a full size one um so good crumble you get a free cookie uh like there's all these things now the ones that you have to get on your birthday are Starbucks and you can get the most expensive drink you want it can be a venti blah blah blah with all these shots 100% free. Nice so always go big on that one. And then I think crumble was also on your day of so I got a cookie and you just walk in and it's got a little barcode on your app you scan it. Barnes and Noble gave me a coupon to use so obviously I went there. Clearly um and then I also did so yeah Ulta you get your birthday present but I think that's the entire birthday month. If you're an Ulta I think Sephora does it too but I'm not on their rewards you get a free item and so I always get my travel size face moisturizer because it's really expensive and it's in like a small container so I use that to travel with um so yeah that's my routine do some book shopping that kind of stuff self-care on your birthday in the winter months love it my birthday's coming up so you know I'm just highly recommend it.

Rachael: 44:41

I'm gonna have a routine now.

Brandi: 44:42

All right and for the finale of this list I know it's been a long list but kind of my favorite one that kind of made me laugh one of the best ways to boost your oxytocin levels is to have an orgasm ladies whether it's from um your partner or yourself no shame in either it still gives you the same boost. So you know sometimes you gotta get Bob out and this is orgasm and affection though. Well I mean yeah I guess you can have the intimacy part too the intimacy

Rachael: 45:16

okay my partner and I did have a conversation about this the other day though and he was like we have sex and it's intimate right and I was like yeah and he was like well you need to think of like our conversations as intimate as well no that's it's a few and I I feel like we're all able to get off but maybe we're not all able to open up and like tell people how we feel so quit calling me out Brandi

Brandi: 45:43

so yeah affection affection is also what orgasm really does seem like the best option honestly you can get more oxytocin out of that um but yeah I mean affection also correlates back to you know if you don't have a partner your dogs like showing affection to other people I mean it all kind of if you think about it most of these topics all kind of work together in some way or another or tie in together. So you know as long as you're you know doing you don't even have to do the whole list just pick two that you want to like focus on this winter and see if it actually helps boost your uh seasonal depression

Rachael: 46:23

I mean I used to have like a routine of like eat a pizza and you know have a little fun by myself and it worked out really well. It was like my monthly ritual I was like pizza, check vibrator check let's go

Brandi: 46:38

um so right so you gotta have your thing yeah so I mean I think we've you know now you understand what seasonal depression is what causes it um and I hope we gave you you know enough um different you know enough options words uh enough options to to help you in these upcoming months as the days get shorter as prolonged lack of sunlight leads to you know the seasonal depression building because I feel like we all start out in a good place but the longer winter goes like after the holidays that January is just kind of doom and gloom because you don't have the holidays to look forward to um January February particularly the worst. Yeah um that's actually when uh people really start to see those um that seasonal depression come about um because right now we have enough distractions with Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of that that we don't really have to think about it. Right. Um but it's those those down moments that uh months in the new year that can kind of get to you. So you know we would love to hear um you know anything that you do to help seasonal depression you know something that wasn't on our list. We are always open to new ideas on how to counteract that.

Rachael: 48:07

Yeah absolutely so when we post this episode obviously it's gonna be on our website it's going to be on all of the places that you listen to podcasts but we'll also post about on our social. So like Brandi said we'd love to hear your suggestions on how do you cope with seasonal depression what are some things that we might have missed um fun self-care routines that we might not have thought about or talked about we'd love to hear more. Speaking of social, we are trying to hit a record for how many downloads we get on our episodes. So we're hanging out in like the 850s range right now and by the end of the year we're trying to get to a thousand downloads on our podcast. So what does that mean? Then it means anytime we drop a new episode wherever you listen to your podcast whether it's Spotify Apple Amazon any of those just follow us and give us a download on like hit save to library or you know whatever that button is on your um option and that will add to our list of downloads that are coming. And if you like our podcast be sure to share it with your friends and have them download them as well. Share it with friends um tell them what it's all about and remember that we have some pretty steady male listeners as well so if you know a guy who might benefit from some of these sessions pass it their way as well. So yeah if you hit us hit um if you help us hit a thousand downloads we got a bottle of champagne ready to pop open.

Brandi: 49:38

Yep so and if you want to know the backstory behind that be sure to download our uh New Year's episode from earlier this year where we talk about goal setting. Yeah we when we set our goals absolutely and what do we got going on for this holiday season brandy we're gonna yeah so uh we've mentioned a couple times the angel tree um in this episode and I think the previous one so we've decided uh to get the girl gang community involved um and we are going to adopt an angel from one of our local angel trees and we are going to create an Amazon wish list um with the items that they have requested and if you feel inclined this is not something that um you have to participate in but we really kind of wanted to get you know everyone involved if possible um you can go onto the Amazon wish list and buy an item and how we'll have it set up is it will directly mail to one of our addresses um which is private so you can't stalk us just throwing that out there um but we will get it directly and then we can collect all of the gifts that we receive from our listeners and then uh present it back yeah there's a wrapping party so I love to wrap presents I'm all you're invited you're invited yeah so yes ah I love wrapping presents yeah so um at least we're thinking we're gonna take it to our local kind of place where we're doing our angel treat and we're having a wrapping party for a few days so a group of us are getting together we're wrapping all the gifts and then there's a great event um where we dress up in PJs and serve pancakes to the kids and we present the gifts to the families at that so yeah so we'll be posting the link to that on our socials as well um so if you are interested and want to buy something and we'll have a variety of of price points so even if you can only get something that's a couple bucks like we're gonna try to get as many people involved as they want um and we're really hoping that we can you know make uh the angel um have a really good Christmas this year. So we we really hope you get involved in that. Again no pressure though we know it's an expensive time of year for families but if you feel like you've got a little extra to give you yeah be sure to check out our our link and we'll have we'll have a bunch of stuff to choose from to do a little shopping.

Rachael: 52:09

Absolutely. Well we look forward to seeing your comments and feedback we look forward to collecting all of the gifts for Angel Tree and wrapping them and giving them to the gifts. We'll give you an update on that um once we've presented them to the kids. And thanks for listening. We really appreciate you taking the time to spend the uh getting cold season with us and uh make sure you come back to this episode over the next couple of months and make sure that you're staying healthy and safe out there. So until next time stay bold

Brandi: 52:39

stay empowered

Rachael: 52:40

Girl Gang out