Beyond the DJ Booth
Brian B and Joe Bunn tackle questions about the private event DJ industry, share music, gear/gadgets, and stories from their gigs.
Beyond the DJ Booth
When DJs Become the A-holes: Real Stories from the Wedding Circuit
What do you do when the CEO's nephew wants to commandeer your DJ booth mid-event? How about when a client expects free services because you "have a connection"? These real-world ethical dilemmas plague professional DJs, and Brian B and Joe Bunn are tackling them head-on.
Drawing from Reddit's notorious "Am I The A-hole" threads, we dissect five scenarios that reveal the complex moral territory DJs navigate at every gig. From wedding planners demanding last-minute changes to the uncomfortable territory of overtime requests, we share our combined decades of experience to help you handle these situations with both professionalism and business savvy.
The overtime discussion proves particularly revealing – exposing our different philosophies on flexibility versus firm boundaries. Brian advocates for clear policies established during planning, while Joe takes a more situational approach. Both perspectives offer valuable insights for DJs at any career stage.
Beyond ethical quandaries, we showcase practical tools that make DJ life easier, including Brian's game-changing mini heat sealer that keeps on-the-go snacks fresh during marathon events. Our music finds segment has Brian delivering three exceptional tracks that solve specific DJ problems: transitioning between genres, offering clean alternatives to problematic artists, and bridging musical worlds seamlessly.
We wrap with an honest conversation about DJ networking behavior. Why do some professionals feel compelled to name-drop venues and brag about rates? How can you avoid these common pitfalls while building authentic industry relationships? Our candid discussion might make some uncomfortable – but that's exactly the point.
Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting your DJ journey, this episode delivers actionable wisdom on navigating the interpersonal challenges that technical skills alone can't solve. Subscribe now and join the conversation!
RESOURCES & LINKS
Our website. Please leave a review! - https://www.beyondthedjbooth.com/
To book Joe Bunn: https://bunndjcompany.com/
To book Brian B: https://djbrianbofficial.com/
Joe’s Gear Finds on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/djjoebunn
Brian’s Gear Finds on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/djbrianbofficial
DJ Event Planner free demo: https://www.djeventplanner.com/signup.php
Brian B's Coaching Options: Https://www.thdjscreativeedge.com
we're back. Another episode of beyond the dj booth podcast. There we go, featuring your boys brian b and joseph bunn. So are you, uh, putting a lot of things in your crm these days? Which crm are you using, tell?
Speaker 2:me, you already know, we already know, they already know djeventplannercom is the way to go for your crm. Shout out out to our sponsor. We appreciate you, troy, and the team over there.
Speaker 1:So another icebreaker for you. I was looking up trending things and have you seen this on Reddit? Are you on Reddit, do you even? Oh, you don't on Reddit. No, it's like one of my guilty pleasures, really Just scrolling.
Speaker 2:Okay, colin loves it, my oldest son.
Speaker 1:So so, aita, you know what that stands for? I don't actually, I asked a quant, he didn't know oh, am I the a-hole? So basically, it's like these uh scenarios that are presented, yeah, where it could be either way, like the person telling the story could be the a-hole, right, and they like then all the comments. So I went on reddit the other day, okay, and looked up any DJ scenarios I could find.
Speaker 2:Oh my yeah, under this A-I-T-A yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to give you the scenario A-I-T-A Okay, go ahead. And then we're going to ask the question am I the a-hole? Okay, and you got to tell me which one you think it is.
Speaker 2:Sure, are you ready?
Speaker 1:Yeah, scenario one. On Reddit you can find it. The wedding planner kept demanding I change the schedule on the fly, even though the couple and I had already locked everything in. At one point she snapped I don't care what the couple told you, do what I say. I told her I take my orders from the bride and groom, not you, and stuck to the plan. She gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the night. So am I the a-hole for standing my ground.
Speaker 2:I don't think he's the asshole. I mean, I think to me the only person that trumps the wedding planner is the couple. Right, the couple hired the wedding planner or I think maybe their parents. In the hierarchy of power at a wedding, that's the only people I can think that would be above the wedding planner. I've not had this happen to me, though.
Speaker 1:I haven't either, but I also feel like he probably could have phrased it a little bit better to not become across as the a-hole. So he is the s-hole in your point. I mean, she didn't help the situation either, right, but in this scenario I probably would have gone along with what the bride and or, I'm sorry, what the planner is telling me to do I think I would have.
Speaker 2:No, I'm going with a couple on this one. Okay, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah Two. This couple booked me until 11 PM, but at 10 55, the bride comes over and asks if I can play an extra hour as a favor, because they're having fun. I tell her I can do it. Since the party is still going, I shut everything down at 11 PM sharp. Am I the ale for not giving her free overtime?
Speaker 2:These are hard man. Can you answer first?
Speaker 1:Well, this scenario would never happen to me, cause I don't do overtime anymore. I quit that a long time ago, yeah.
Speaker 2:Hold on, you're playing a party. You're telling me, I don't care who it is. Bride client runs up five or ten minutes until stop time. Hey, brian, people got going late. Maybe there was traffic, maybe people just didn't have enough to drink.
Speaker 1:Can you play another hour, you know, for whatever your rate is Okay, so this conversation happens at the booking level, right?
Speaker 2:before we even no and we talk about it on the planning, I mean we talk about it, the planning, I mean. I talk about this ad nauseum I do too, but what I'm saying is there is going to be a situation.
Speaker 1:I haven't ran into it interesting, but if I did, I would say no problem same, because you were just saying I ain't gonna play every time I could pull that card because my contracts go. This is the start time. This is the end time.
Speaker 2:There is no overtime option in mine. I don't think there is on mine either, but if somebody did, this runs up to me.
Speaker 1:But I would never be saying, hey, here's my overtime rate. If they want to take care of me on the back end as far as gratuity and everything like that, no problem, but I'm not charging them 200 to play. An extra hour for me comes across a little petty, but that's just me so you're potentially playing the overtime for free?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's built in, but it's not, because I mean it's not built in.
Speaker 1:But, like I'm saying, I'm building it in at that moment situation.
Speaker 2:But if I play over, hours.
Speaker 1:if they said, hey, how about another hour? Then okay, we're gonna have a conversation. Because I think we've talked about this before there's diminishing returns the later you go, sometimes in those after parties or over time. So we have this. This is why I'm telling you we have this discussion at the planning call and we say listen, we're ending at 10. Yeah, however, if the party's jamming, I'm having no problem going a little bit longer, but I need to be able to be the person to make that call because, I know how it's going to end and we want to make sure we end it with people wanting more.
Speaker 1:That's the sign of a great party, absolutely. That's kind of the way I frame it.
Speaker 2:I agree, I definitely have had that conversation multiple times. I do it every time. It's part of every conversation so that there's no gray area when we get to the event, like a one more, like a one more song chant or five or ten minutes pass or whatever. Man, I'm fine with that. No, you're not getting a bill, but if I'm playing an hour, an hour, 60 minutes or more than that, you're getting an invoice after the event since we move to this.
Speaker 1:No overtime. Yeah, I have can count on one hand going beyond.
Speaker 2:Well, here's, well, here's the other thing about it, man, you and I are in a price point and in a tier where it is very, very, very difficult to pull off anything over that stop time. Right, because there are 10 or more people that are going to be affected Thousand percent the wedding planner, the limo driver sitting out front, the cold sparks guy waiting to deploy the catering staff that has to sit there and clean up. The florist that's sitting outside waiting to come get her florals out. Joe Bunn, brian B, waiting, you know, playing another like it is damn near impossible for somebody at a nice wedding to pull off overtime.
Speaker 1:Our team. We have the policy of we do collect it before the overtime commences, okay. However, if, for whatever reason, they don't have money, on them Whatever?
Speaker 2:yeah, no, check you, tell them do it.
Speaker 1:We'll take care of you. Don't cause a scene, Right exactly.
Speaker 2:Nobody's going to stif you over $400 overtime fee or whatever it is Now.
Speaker 1:If they asked me to do it for free and I was working for somebody, then I don't know, I'd bring it up to my boss. Let them take care of it. Right, right, if you were the DJ in this situation, are you the a-hole for not giving her free overtime?
Speaker 2:I'm not giving her free overtime, okay.
Speaker 1:Not an hour, I'm just not.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know. I don't know why the girl freaked out. I don't know. Let's go with.
Speaker 1:Maybe she's the wedding last year. This year they reached out asking if I'd mix a special playlist for their anniversary party. I told them I'd do it for two 50. They were shocked and said we thought we had a connection. Can't you just throw something together as a favor? I told them I don't work for free. Am I a hole for charging a past client for a simple playlist?
Speaker 2:These are nuts.
Speaker 1:I thought we had a connection. Who's ever said that to you? I've never had that happen.
Speaker 2:Man, I wish Randy was here, because he's really good at, like you know, building these relationships and like continuing on into people, like having babies and still commenting on their Instagrams years after the wedding, Like I would be curious what Randy would say Listen, Spotify playlist, no problem. A mix where I got to go over to that console and put shit together and nah, you're getting charged for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, same, okay, all right. Number four at a corporate event oh, this is a good one. The CEO's nephew, who dabbles in DJing, kept trying to get behind the booth. He told me he knows what the crowd wants and asked if he could spend. I said no. The CEO later told me I should have let him have a moment. Am I the a-hole for shutting him down?
Speaker 2:I think if he had been persistent, I probably would have found somebody that works at the company or found out who is the CEO, and I would have gone up and asked him. You know, is it cool if your nephew plays a few songs, because then if he sinks or swims, it's on him. You're not the person standing up there anymore and again, like we were talking about in the previous episode, I'm disclaimering on the mic. Ladies and gentlemen, we've got you know, bob the CEO's nephew, little Kevin, here. Little Kevin's about to rip it up, and if little Kevin shit the bed, then it's on him. Yeah, you know, like it's not one of your team, it's not something that was preplplanned. You're just putting him on as a favor to the ceo, right, and you said that now to the audience, right? What about you?
Speaker 1:I think I need more context like if he's being a tool bag with the way he asks, right and annoying. No, I'm not doing it, but if he's like super nice and like respectful and you know, I think similarly, I would definitely want to get some context all of these are giving me like the creeps.
Speaker 2:All right, last one, I hate these.
Speaker 1:A guest kept asking for ridiculous song requests that I knew wouldn't fit the vibe. So I jokingly told him $20 per request and I'll consider it. He actually Venmo'd me $40 immediately. I played one of the songs but I ignored the other because it was way off brand for the couple's playlist Off brand. At the end of the night he came back and demanded his money back, saying I scammed him. I refused jesus the a-hole for taking the money and only playing one song. Yes, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. Give him back 20 bucks. What are you doing?
Speaker 2:yeah, you didn't play it. Yeah, no, you definitely. If he's gonna give you the money, he expects the song and you definitely should have given back the 20 spot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, easy as this, the only one that's easy for me. Go to Reddit. Read up on some others. Hold on.
Speaker 2:One more last thing I would have also said why did you even give him your Venmo handle in the first place? Cause then he's got you. Yeah, he you know you're his, you're 20.
Speaker 1:He just sent you 40 to give. I have one in the queue, nah bro, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. I hate. I don't even like the guy that did it. Yeah, he's the asshole too. The requester.
Speaker 1:There we go. These are crazy.
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Speaker 1:So uh, gear corner, so I thought I would bring you. I feel like we need a stinger for the gear corner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, who should we get to make it?
Speaker 1:dude, this is take one can you make that? This is my snack bag so take us to every gig, but I want to show you something in particular. I thought it would be good to at least show you what's in this snack bag. So is the gear topic the satchel. No, what's in it? Specifically one item. There's multiple items. I know people are going to ask me, like, what the hell's in here? Yeah so I'll give you some, some ideas here. So, uh, we have a little holder here for the drink.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, for the energy drinks right I figure at a wedding no, that's the one tara gave me that right. She bring it with me to every one of them. Yeah, it keeps it cool. Secondly, I think it looks kind of tacky to have like an energy drink back there.
Speaker 2:It does kind of blinds it. But that wasn't the item and it keeps you cold got some snacks, energy bars.
Speaker 1:I got, uh, some of these electrolytes, electrolyte powder, yeah but the one I wanted to show you. This is one of my go-to pistachios. I love pistachios, but the problem with this is when you open the bag, there's no resealable thing there right yeah enter in. This is a mini. There's no way, dude. Not only does it cut, it seals it back up for you stop it. So I'll let you even demo it. Is it really work? And it comes with a usb stick so you can charge it this is called mini heat sealer.
Speaker 2:Open it up. Open them like I would normally. Yeah, yeah, should I open it first? Yeah, go open it up. Open it like I would normally be heating it, yeah, but this is the problem, right. You open it, then you've got to fold it, it's in your bag. It's a mess.
Speaker 1:The thing is it keeps it fresh. It's open. Okay so now you want to seal it back up, right? So wherever the cut is, just hold this down and do it like this oh down, yeah, no way, that's working. So let's see Dude, no way Sealed up, keeps things fresh. You can do this in your household.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I thought you were saying it's going to cut off the top.
Speaker 1:Well, it can, if you use this, the bottom button, it'll cut it. I was doing it to seal it back, for completely sealed up, because it heated, it, it heated it damn, this thing's gold, what do you think? Price point 1978 oh man, you were doing so well a couple weeks ago. Here we go 1029 1029 on amazon damn bro so that is gold. You gotta have it in there, because if you get these kinds of things, I agree you know I don't want the whole sack.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so this keeps it, so it's fresh. I do love the stash. Then to open it, you just use the bottom one. Yeah, let me turn it back on See how it did it here, so it opened it back up. Wow, that's not gear segment. Good stuff. What else we got here? All right, I was going to play you some tracks Music finds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit of music.
Speaker 1:And we're getting into event season when this drops, okay, this one's from Direct Music Service. This Wordplay Ooh, okay, this is APT.
Speaker 2:Are you playing that track? How's it doing for you? You using it? I hadn't played much this year. Yeah, we played it.
Speaker 1:How'd it go? Yeah, I mean. Yeah, you got to go in and out. You don't want to stick in it long. Yeah, no, it was fine.
Speaker 2:Somebody requested it. Okay, and it was okay. We were in like a request period and then we went to Pink Bunny Club and there was some other requests and, Okay, this is.
Speaker 1:APT wordplay with Going Down. Young Jock Okay by Mr Wired Up Okay 75.
Speaker 2:You didn't get this on DMS yeah he's on DMS now.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, okay, I'm going to give it this little play it's a way to get from pop to hip-hop like that. I mean, I don't usually like to play pre-produced word plays like that, but that one's so good that I think you could do it live too, probably, and loop it. Yeah, you could, but that's so good, why not? Man, are you gonna send me these yeah?
Speaker 2:send it to you. Would that be one you'd use? Absolutely, yes, I love it's going down. I love that young jock song. Yeah, and that gets you into that like any of that snaps like right ti or waka flaka or whatever yeah, one more, uh, actually two more.
Speaker 1:This one's american boy, estelle. Yeah, you can't really play the kanye version right now.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's a little here's what's crazy me and saquon uncanceled him, and then we had to cancel him again. Okay, this is the no rap version, geez.
Speaker 1:Jeez, this is the J-Funk or J-Funk, maybe it's how he says it Okay, remix, and I just think it grooves. It's something you could use. Where'd you get it? I think this is in heavy hits.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's important to know I'll find out.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, but this has got a good groove for like doors open, so not prime dance, no, I'm doing it with the beat so you can see how it comes in With the drops there. This is a space groove Coming up here. This is yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is even for that cocktail hour.
Speaker 1:Cool cocktails fashion show retail store I love the original but even if it wasn't canceled, it was always tricky to play in that kanye piece and this. You can cross any generation.
Speaker 2:I like this yeah, guest, I like this for for 2025 yeah this version is much more appropriate all right, one more.
Speaker 1:This is taking you from a house vibes to something more radio friendly. Okay, this is it's called. The name of the blend is called the way shooting stars are. This is bag raiders versus Timbaland, but I think it works really good. So, main house. Now you want to get something current. It goes in key. What's the back track? It's called Shooting Stars. But if you've been playing progressive music like the Shooting Stars not that that's progressive, but now you've got to get into something a little bit more familiar I mean, it's spot on, right, yeah. So anyways, those are three tracks, I think.
Speaker 2:I love the way our I mean I love that song regardless.
Speaker 1:That one's on digital music pool. Okay, brian B here, yes, interrupting yet another stellar podcast episode, but don't worry, this is a value add, not just me rambling. Have you enjoyed the music finds I share on here? You know the ones that Joe pretends he discovered first. Well, if you didn't know, I've got a Patreon where you can grab not only song lists but also exclusive edits of mine. Yep, custom tracks. That'll set you apart from every DJ still rinsing the same tired wedding set. Want fresh music suggestions every month? Go to patreoncom. Forward slash DJ Brian B official. Again, that's patreoncom forward. Slash DJ Brian B. Official. You'll be the DJ. Everyone's trying to figure out how you keep your sets so fire and planners will start nudging their couples your way. And if that's not a hard enough sell, I don't know what is All right. Back to the episode before Joe tries to convince us that Sweet Caroline is actually a banger. We've got a question time. Okay, this is coming from our boy, richie Stedman. Do you want to take this one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Both of you are very successful and in the conversations that I've had with you both, I don't feel like you're trying to oversell yourself or list all of your accolades. However, so many DJs, whenever there's a networking event, always brag about what they charge, name drop venues or clients they've worked with, and it's just annoying. Did the two of you used to do that? If so, did this stop with longevity in the industry, or do you still find yourself falling into that trap? And when people do it to you, how do you deal with it? Damn deep, deep, okay, where? What? What's your uh thoughts?
Speaker 1:on this man did the two of you used to that? Probably I definitely probably did that. I don't know why. Just insecurity, probably, I'm guessing is probably what that. I don't know why. Just insecurity, probably, I'm guessing is probably what that.
Speaker 1:I don't think I ever really talked about it on the charging front. I never really did that. But maybe name drop clients or venues probably I think it's just it is a longevity thing. You get in there, you get comfortable with what you do, who you are as a DJ. I don't feel like I have to do that anymore. I think it can mask sometimes the skills even though it took skills to get there, like you not being able to articulate your value, what you do. Sometimes those name dropping things can you can think that they can bring you over the finish line to get more jobs or different jobs. Now, I don't even bring that stuff up hardly ever, yeah, so I don't find myself falling into that trap anymore. I feel pretty secure with who I am and what I do, and when people do it to me I just kind of laugh internally. I'm not going to laugh out loud.
Speaker 1:It's just kind of like I can tell that this is somebody who's probably young in the industry. I don't know what about you.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't ever recall a time when I was really trying to flex on other DJs, especially in Raleigh or. But with networking events they say yeah, but do they mean like local stuff, or like at next, or like no? Probably like local, yeah, I don't really uh, I don't remember ever doing that to other DJs. I really don't. I mean, I think if I ever used any of those talking points, it was almost more to just kind of prove my value, or prove my worth to venue owners or wedding planners.
Speaker 2:Hey we play at these places. You know, like we would love to play at your place, right? So I can say you know we play at the Umstead and we play at the Angus Barn and we play at Farrington Like these are five-star places. We want to play at your place, right? You know what I mean. I feel like, as I've gotten older and really understood networking better, it is more about listening than anything else. You know, these people want to like, dump on you, and I say that in terms of like, just tell you horror stories, or you wouldn't believe this DJ that was there last week, or whatever you know they share stories or sometimes it's personal and I feel like my skill now is doing better listening and then tabling the, whipping out the business card, tabling the, going for the sale.
Speaker 2:Or can we play at your place and almost pushing that to the next meeting or the next meeting you know what I mean Instead of just sitting there just flooding the place with business cards.
Speaker 1:So when people do it to you, how do you handle it? Just sitting there just flooding the place with business cards?
Speaker 2:So when people do it to you, how do you handle it, man? I usually just chalk it up to you know new or naivety. However, you say that word Naivete. Naivete, naivete, naivete Toi. And, like you said, I just kind of laugh under my breath. You know what I mean. I don't. I rarely feel threatened by people, whether they're DJs or not. I feel like there's enough business to go around. But I do still stand by hard and fast and always will say you cannot just let up because you think you're the hotness.
Speaker 2:Every day I get up and work, unless you're in Iceland. I've worked very little in paris and iceland, but I needed that little eight day reset and then back and then been on the phone for the last three days, yeah, you know, catching up. So that's kind of where I stand with that richie. I don't let it bother me, you can't let it bother you. You know what I mean he's the best dj in utah, the greatest company you don't even have to flex, you just say that's your company name.
Speaker 2:Company name's the company name Best DJ in Utah there for a reason.
Speaker 1:All right, let's put a bow on this.
Speaker 2:Look at the Jersey Mike sub sitting there.
Speaker 1:Lonely, just lonely, waiting for it to be devoured.
Speaker 2:All right y'all. Thanks so much for listening. Shout out to S-Star, one of our sponsors, dj Event Planner, of course, and you guys your podcasts. Thanks y'all Later you.