Self-Discipline: Mastering Control Over Your Actions

How do you build the kind of self-discipline that transforms your life? In this episode, Dr. Ash Kumar breaks it down, sharing real stories and practical tips to help you take control of your habits and routines. From the power of self-awareness to creating accountability systems that actually work, Dr. Ash explores how discipline can positively impact every area of your life—whether it’s improving your fitness, strengthening emotional resilience, or finding peace in nature.

With a mix of personal insights and actionable advice, this conversation is about more than just staying consistent—it’s about building a life you’re proud of. If you’re ready to make meaningful changes, this episode will show you where to start.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:03

Hello friends, and a very warm welcome to Transforming Stress with Dr. Ash. Are you ready to turn stress into your comfort? For over 30 years now, Dr. Ash has worked and gained education across three continents: India, United Kingdom, and the United States in healthcare. He's witnessed firsthand how stress can impact our health and cause our happiness. But here's the exciting part. He's here to help you transform your stress into a powerful tool for growth and resilience. Each week he'll share practical tools and life-changing insights from his books, including The Boiling Frog, to help you manage your stress, find balance, and live a life of purpose. Please join us every Friday at 5 pm and let's start turning stress into strength together. Now let's dive into today's episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Funella, welcome back. And we are going to discuss now about self-discipline and mastering control over our own actions.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Shall we take a look at the picture? Yes. It's a great place to start.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

So as you can see, that there is a frog who is jumping at a fly. The fly is the metaphorical goal, aspiration we might have. The other frog is sitting with their phone or a tablet in their hand, and there is a net. Uh-huh. As you can see, a net is coming. Yep. So that is the cost of distraction in today's world. Have you seen people walking around with their mobiles and texting? Oh yes. And sometimes they can even have a fall. Or walk into you. Walk into you, or they are step getting climbing down the stairs on the phone all the time. So that is a cost of distraction. So discipline. Yeah. Discipline versus distraction. Okay. Now self-discipline is the most important skill. Yeah. Overall, in all the skills, because if you do not have self-discipline, you would not self-care. If you do not have self-discipline, you would not have the discipline to do self-reflection.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

And it sounds like discipline is something that makes you it's a mechanism by which you really attach to those things which are going to help you that you've identified through your self-awareness and your self-reflection. So then there's something about bringing in self-discipline as part of the process. Yes. Okay. Is it possible for you to tell me a little bit about how you do that? What's been your journey?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

So um, as you know that I've come I don't want to be bragging about my qualifications here, but it takes a level of hard work and industry to uh come to complete this journey of being a consultant, physician, and it's 30 years now in healthcare. Wow. So it takes a degree of self-discipline to be studying, going through the exams, and um highly competitive exams, but both a national and international level. But what has been what has been very insightful for me to understand that having self-discipline in one area does not equate to having equal amount of self-discipline in other areas. Like my levels of self-discipline when it comes to fitness and exercise are not as good. And uh my brother, on the other hand, uh huh, he has run five marathons in in six months, and he wants me to run the London marathon next year.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

And I've still not started training for it. Yeah. Because I, for me, there are high there is high value on um work, high value of being a doctor. I am a full-time consultant in general internal medicine.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

And now a high value on writing a book so that I can serve the millions of people around the world. Yeah. But I have less high less uh value on fitness. Okay. Now I know my my discipline in those areas is not as good. Okay. So I have put up structures. Tell me more about the structures. So I've got a coach with uh sometimes I would work in by one-to-one. Yeah. And I've got also a fitness team, and I would work long distance. So when I would go and have my session in the gym, they would be with me on the phone and they would be telling me different exercises to do. So there is some level of accountability. Okay. Also, what happens when I'm coming back after a full day at work, I cannot be bothered many times about the exercise. But if I know that I've got a session, then I have to go. Yeah. But the best thing I part, I I best thing I best thing I find in a session is my connection with the trainer. Okay. I will have the conversation about what went well during the day. Right. How was my energy? Yeah. How was my nutrition?

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Whether I had enough water. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

Sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

So he tells me that I got to have three liters of water. Simple thing. Very simple. Hydration.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah. But in a sense, like that makes it relevant to your own life and your own lived experience, having those conversations.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Having those conversations will bring your attention back to the practices which are important. Yeah. Yeah. And your attention will come if you have put the structures. Yeah. Because as I told you, that we cannot have the same level of discipline in all the areas of life. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe some people who are exceptional might have, but I'm talking about a majority of the population. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah, no, I would absolutely agree with that. And I think I brought in the example of people, and I've done this too, who join gyms and then somehow you don't go to the gym.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

No, you join it in January. Yeah. And then it's it's uh it's a downward, downward slope.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Yeah, yeah. And then it's asking yourself the question, okay, how can I clearly I think I need something. What is it I need? It's connecting to that need. What's going to be different if I meet that need? Could I arrange to go along with someone? What's the leverage? Maybe you can't employ a team, but maybe there's something else you can do. You can find a friend, you can really connect to what this is going to do for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

So it comes with level of awareness or why it is important for you.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Knowing that if you are doing a particular activity, it's going to have m much more benefit than long-term losses. Yeah. Which create an internal level of motivation for you to do it. And if for some reason you are not able to do that, then you set up structures. Yeah. So discipline in areas which are important, discipline to do reflection. Yeah. D discipline to do self-care.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Yeah. It sounds like it's about making it meaningful to you. And sometimes we think about sometimes discipline can sound like a frightening word or a negative word, like discipline. I mean, I know when I was at school here in Scotland as a child, our teachers could belt us, you know, you that could happen. My kids are horrified if I talk about that. Um so discipline sometimes has this negative connotation. But actually, the way that you're talking about it, it's it's just having practices, it's having things that support you, it's having a system.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

The more discipline you have, the more focus you will bring to that particular activity. Yeah. And with that focus, you are able to take action and execution. Yeah. So this book is about transformation. Absolutely. I did not want to just give information and information and information. No. We have tons of it on Google. Of course. And now with AI Funella. Yeah. I wanted to share information in a way that it causes transformation. Yeah. Yeah. And with if you see this frog, he's getting into a trap. So we also know that the lack of discipline, what what are the traps? Yeah. Whether it's creating a health trap, whether you're going to get an illness, whether you you don't have discipline on how you spend your money, then are you going to get into a lot of debts?

SPEAKER_04 8:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Because you don't have financial discipline. Yeah. So similarly, how a lack of discipline is affecting different parts of your life. So it is an important skill to have to hone and be aware that what are the areas where you have high high levels and what are the areas where you don't have high levels. Because when you don't, then you can create structures and have better outcomes in those areas.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Of course. And we're talking self-discipline. We're talking about what you decide that you need from that place of self-awareness and self-reflection. So sometimes I might even ask a qu a client, well, it sounds like you really want to change something, and that means sticking to something. Is there kind of a personal rule that you feel you would like to make? So you're not following somebody else's rule. You're deciding what is it that I need? What rule do I want to set for myself? And and just enshrining that something as a statement, you can keep returning to it. It's like a meditation, it's helping to embed that. We've not really even touched on the subconscious here, but obviously that's alive in all of this holistic practice as well. Is that we keep bringing things to ourselves at all levels of our consciousness. I'm thinking about you going down to the lake and just contemplating what's happened in the day. That's self-discipline. But it's so gentle.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

That is it's gentle and beautiful. Absolutely. And it is it takes a huge amount of self-discipline.

SPEAKER_04 10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

And I have to I have to share with you that I'm not able to do it every day. Yeah. Okay. Sometimes I would say, Oh, it's raining outside, I I I can get a little lazy, or uh I've got some admin work to do. Yeah. But when I'm able to do that, the the beauty it creates, the the positiveness of the emotions it creates is just beautiful. Yeah. Because we have got a lovely lake, beautiful woods around the hospital, and I would just it takes around three to four minutes walk.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

And sometimes I will take some food for the swans and duck.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

And I'll also go and have my lunch there, and I feed the ducks and the ducks and swan. It's a very meditative moment.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

And when I come back, I'm recharged for the afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

You've really found something. And and I remember it was I think it was during the time you're working in Ireland. You did share with me that you know you'd kind of been told that connection with nature was good for you, but you weren't sure how to do that, and it wasn't something you'd ever been big on. Right. But it feels like you've built this practice and it's something you really value from your inside out. It's not just because somebody's told you, it's something that you've really internalized. And that's self-discipline. It's not about beating yourself up.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

And transformation will come only when you execute, when there is execution. Yeah. Execution will come out of self-discipline.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

That is the key. It's that firm resolve.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

It's not something you want. It's I want this. Yes. And so I'm going to put the work in. Yeah. And this is what the work looks like. Because it is work. But you make those decisions about that work with your coach, with whoever's your partner on the way. Absolutely. Well, thank you very much, Funella.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Thanks so much. That was a very productive discussion on self-discipline. I think we have set uh set the readers and listeners to this very important skill.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

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