Facing Fears: The Reality of First Responders

Join Dr. Ash Kumar in this compelling episode of Transforming Stress with Dr. Ash as he sits down with Steve Whiteside, a former firefighter with nearly two decades of service. Together, they delve into Steve’s incredible journey into the fire service, offering a rare glimpse into the challenges and fears faced by first responders.

Steve opens up about the high-pressure realities of life on the front lines, sharing moving stories of resilience, overcoming fear, and how teamwork and camaraderie played a critical role in maintaining his emotional well-being. The conversation also explores the cultural contrasts between the fire service and the NHS, shining a light on the importance of creating supportive environments in all high-stress professions.

Beyond the day-to-day demands of the job, Dr. Ash and Steve discuss the deeper topics of personal growth, self-awareness, and the value of finding purpose in one’s life.

This episode is filled with insights and inspiration for anyone navigating stressful environments or looking to foster personal and professional growth.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello friends, and a very warm welcome to Transforming Stress with Dr. Ash. Are you ready to turn stress into your comfort? For over 30 years now, Dr. Ash has worked and gained education across three continents India, United Kingdom, and the United States in healthcare. He's witnessed firsthand how stress can impact our health and cause our happiness. But here's the exciting part. He's here to help you transform your stress into a powerful tool for growth and resilience. Each week he'll share practical tools and life-changing insights from his books, including The Boiling Frog, to help you manage your stress, find balance, and live a life of purpose. Please join us every Friday at 5 p.m. and let's start turning stress into strength together. Now let's dive into today's episode.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Welcome! Welcome to the Transforming Stress with Dr. Ash Podcast, Steve. Welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Thank you very much. It's a pleasure.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Yeah, I've been looking forward to speaking with you since the last time we met in Petersborough and your experiences. And I'm grateful that you're here. Steve, uh, I would like to start with you with the journey you've had as a first responder in the fire service, and would love for you to speak to the listeners about your experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Okay, how did I get into that? Yeah, I think as as a young age, we're always always looking for inspiration, some sort of guidance as to where we want to go, what we want to do. Um, and I was in that era of the iconic movies like Top Gun and Um Backdraft. And that was it for me. Those two movies sort of set the scene. I'm gonna do one of those jobs. Um, I'm either gonna be a pilot fire pilot, or I'm gonna I'm gonna be a firefighter. Um, as it turns out, I just wasn't intellectually um or academically um enough for the fire pilot side of things, but but um I was for the firefighter, and so that's where my path you know went that went down that path of firefighter. Um it took a number of years to achieve that. Um as soon as I was 18 and finished school, that I applied straight away and was unsuccessful, but because I'd chosen what I was gonna do, once you find that purpose, that sort of defining light, um nothing was gonna stop me. Um so in the interim, I went back to college, um I did gym work, uh personal instructor, all that stuff because that was another interest, but it wasn't the guiding light. Eventually um I was accepted into the fire service uh at the my old age of 25, then 1998, um, and did just shy of 20 years, leaving in 2017. Um, and it's true, if you find a purpose and you're living that purpose, um, you know, life is fairly easy with you know all the normal challenges, but if you're living a purpose, something you really want to do, um it's it's it's it's the flow. It's a great place to be. I didn't know it at the time, Ash, to be honest. I didn't know it at the time, but there was definitely flow whilst I was in the fire service. Obviously, it has challenges, uh, don't get me wrong. Um, but it was um great, great experience for 20 years of my life. So that's how I got into um the fire service um and been out of that now, was it seven years?

SPEAKER_03 3:43

That is very inspiring, uh Steve. So you were there for 15 plus years. So there were definitely elements in your work which made you uh which made you say that you were in a flow. And what were the what were the stressful parts being in that service? Because I do hear that there is there are huge there's a huge amount of stress in the first responders, in the uh in the fire services, and would like to hear more about uh that aspect as well. And how did you how did you manage it?

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Yeah, okay. Obviously I can only speak for myself. Um and and we're all we're all different, and we all have different personality traits and different characters, and we'll we'll we'll deal with stuff in in many, many different ways. But if I speak about myself um and what were my stresses within the fast service of my journey within the fire service, the obvious what the biggest one is is fear, many different types of fear. The first one is obviously the fear of getting hurt. You know, it's that old saying, as you're running out of the building, we're running into the building. Um, so that is that's your your first sort of um real stressor is am I going to come out of this alive? And that only happened on you know a few occasions where you do think to yourself, this this might not go the way we want it to go. Um so but it always did in the end. Um and we've heard the we've heard and seen in the news and stories about um my fellow colleagues, firefighters have you know unfortunately lost their lives in the line of duty. So there's always that that biggest fear. Um the other fear for me was the getting it wrong, um, and being criticized for getting it wrong. Um, fear of not fitting in. Back in the 1998s, it's a very kind of alpha male dominated workforce. Um, you know, and you don't want to get it wrong, you don't want to look silly. Um, but there's also that fact you get it wrong, you potentially number one are gonna hurt yourself, but number two, you could potentially hurt a colleague, or even worse, a member of the public. So all those kind of but they were my biggest stresses within the job role um throughout throughout my career. I don't think that ever ever really goes away. How do you overcome that? Well, the training is the is one of the biggest ones, you're constantly training, so you're getting it to the becoming the best you can be when you do attend the these incidents. Um, you know, uh teamwork. Really, that's really, really, really important in the fire service and having um trust in your in your fellow colleagues. Um you know, that's both on the fire ground and off the fire ground. You know, we needed to have this real sort of gel between us in in order to be able to overcome some of those those fears. Um so that that was the biggest things for for Trust and Fire Service. Having that brotherhood, having the trust, doing the right training, being the best we can be, so we can reduce for me personally though though those those fears. But they never, never, never fully go away. Uh they're always going to be there, which I think is always a good thing to have those, shouldn't it? Because then you don't become complacent, and you use all of that training, you use also those all those processes, you use your fellow colleagues so that you you have the best outcome that you can have.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

So you learned a lot about leadership and teamwork, working with colleagues. I'm just kind of laying down the your background because in the in our next podcast, we will also talk about your shift from being the first responder and then moving into the your entrepreneurial role. Steve, are you able to recall any particular incident that was particularly tricky? And you had to really overcome that challenge and how you did that. Because I'm sure there will be a lot of such kind of situations where, like as you mentioned earlier, when people are coming out, you are going in. And you always have that fear, that amygdala response, and you kind of have to overcome that amygdala response every time. And it might take a kind of personality, like you initially you laid that the top gun, the adrenaline in the rush. So that's already there in your I can't I should I say in your DNA, but still I'm very curious to know what their situations where you also found challenging and how you dealt with that.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

You know, the the most poignant ones is where I've um I've always almost lost control. Um and the the the first one that springs of mine was actually in training school, um, where we we go through what they call these these rap runs. Um so it's it's pitch black, you you're you're in breathing apparatus, you're in all of your um uh fire fighting PPE, and and then you have to crawl through these tiny little sort of tunnels. Um, that's what we call them rap runs. And then on occasions you have to come into sort of field position and turn yourself around so you can go down, etc. And you go in with a partner, you always go in with a partner, and there was one point that I got so claustrophobic that you feel that you just want to pull your mask off, you want to take all your your PP off, you just want to scream and open up. Um, but in the back of my mind, I knew if I did that I could lose uh you know, lose my um position in in the in the course and and actually be thrown out back in those days of you know that's how strict it could be. And do you know what how I overcome it? I I just took a deep breath and almost internalized and I it was almost like looking at myself and I had a word with myself and and I explained to myself at this moment in time this is not real, this is training, I'm safe, it'll be okay. And then all of a sudden, yeah, and then I that fear just released for a second, and I just got straight back into what the job getting the job done. So that's the first time I'd ever ever felt like that in my life, and it was a complete almost wasn't complete, but almost loss of control completely. Very, very weird experience to have. Um second time that I felt that was on a real job where when we had when we attended um there were flames coming out of every single window in this building. Um, and it was uh what we call persons reported, so persons reported inside the building. And it was the hottest environment I've ever ever been in in terms of the career. That was fairly early on in my career. Um, and there was that point upstairs with my partner, lost connection with my partner for a little bit, and got totally disorientated in an environment. Is that because of the heat? Because of the heat just the whole the whole speed of everything, the quickness of everything. Now I've got persons reported, children reported missing, um, and it just became uh all of a bit of a blur. It's all of a sudden, and it took me back to that moment in training school. And I did exactly the same thing. Stop, take a deep breath. You're trained to do this, just take a moment and that that real talk with yourself. But it's that you just gotta if you can stop. I have to have to seem to have the ability to say, right, stop, take a deep breath, Steve. And then put the training back into place. Call out to your teammate, ask for the support, etc. And then and then and then move on. So they're the most poignant ones Um that I can I can think of as a as a you know new newbie, um, and then as an actual an actual firefighter. And I'm sure the many of my colleagues have been in exactly the same position. You could be can have as much training as you want, but I'm sure everybody will have that moment where that you know they have that doubt or that fear, that real fear, where you think I'm gonna lose control of yourself and your ability to do what you know you can do. Yeah. So for me, it's a case of pulling on my training and just take a moment, take a take a step back.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

And just going back to the going back to the basics, what you learned during the training and reminding yourself of that.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Exactly that, exactly that. Because you're just in that moment, you can it just all seems to leave you for that you know, that second, 10 seconds, 30 seconds, wherever it may be. This just takes over in a very negative way. And all your fears come flooding in, and it you've just got to then take a deep breath and go back to the basics. Exactly that. Back to the basics, yes.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Good. Um and yeah, yeah, Steve, thank you for sharing those uh very uh touching moments where I mean and thank you for the work you you and your colleagues do to save the lives out there. Serenity putting your life her life on the line. And uh do you see a lot of stress and exhaustion in your colleagues?

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Do you know what actually I don't think I saw it was it they never really brought it to the forefront. I'm sure there were stresses there, but it never seemed to um transpire in in our world.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Um we were very supportive of each other. Um, as I say, they call it the the the the brotherhood. Um we knew then post-incidents, we're very good at debriefing, talking about what we've just seen, witnessed, been involved in from a very in my experience, very supportive way. And I think that really for me reduced any of those emotional stresses post uh post-incident. Uh far so especially my my I was Royal Berkshire, Fire and Rescue, uh were very, very good at that. Uh definitely towards the end of my career, you know, that it was it was a big, big thing to make sure you get the debrief. But outside the structured type of debriefs, if you had a close watch, you know, you all looked out for each other. Um and he talked about it afterwards, sometimes in a humorous way, and it's the way to get over it and to be able to deal with some of the stuff we'd witness could be quite horrific. Um colleagues in the NHS as well. Um and if you if you can speak to your colleagues on a level um without judgment, that reduced for me in i the the the risk of um those stresses coming filling up, filling up to the point where they you know if you don't release that eventually it will tip over the top. And I since I saw that very, very little in my career in the fire service. I know it does occur, obviously. As I said right at the beginning of the this podcast, we all deal with things in in different ways. You know, um some people don't like to speak about and and and bring out some of that internal stuff. Um and that comes down to then you know the awareness of if you don't, what's the effects down down the line? But it but my experience was we were very good at that. Debriefing supportive environment, which really, really helped.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

That is very uh very very insightful to know. And I think uh I uh wish we can have things like that in our healthcare more, because uh we have situations like that when we have to speak to uh re relatives of patients who are very sick, breaking bad news. Uh, but the volume of the work sometimes is like so so high that we are all not always able to do that. And we know that uh stress and the burnout in the healthcare is is one of one of the highest. One of the highest that's true.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

And I've I've as we we'll move on to the the second part of this where I had left the fire service uh to run a business, and and part of that was supporting um London Ambulance Service, bus supplying frontline ambulances. So I've seen that side of it as well. Um obviously from a management point of view, not as a medic, but I saw more stress there than I ever did in the fire service.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Um so this is this is the this is the ambulance services you're talking about?

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Correct. Yes, 999 ambulance service, we were supporting the the NHS supply and private ambulances. So I can see the complete contrast in in the the two where the you know the high volumes were compared to fire service, where there's the developments were not as high, so you have more time to be supportive back at the station on the fire ground, you have more time there. So I do I I see I've seen both both sides of that now.

SPEAKER_03 18:07

And did you see did you feel that the culture was also different? The culture was also different in both the places.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah, I I listen, I don't want to speak out of turn, um but i there's a massive fear factor in in that I saw in the NHS of always being blamed. There's that blame culture, you've got it wrong.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

And that that makes so much of a difference for what you are saying, that uh you could see a palpable difference in the fire services versus the NHS, and yes, there is that culture of blame and shame. Steve, I uh when I met you last time, I learned from you that you have been on a massive journey of self-discovery, self-development, personal development is a journey, and it takes years and decades, and even self-awareness for me took a long time because we are not aware that we are not aware. Many times we are not even aware that we are not aware, and self-reflection is first of all bringing in that awareness and how aware we are. Nobody will actually look at the mirror, nobody also wants to know their blind spots, and that is where the role of coaching or working with a mentor or a friend whom you can trust comes in. Knowing your purpose is a game changer. Knowing your strengths and finding how you can best leverage your strengths and use your strengths, because you can only soar with your own strength. And this comes back to the self-awareness. Self-awareness is awareness of your strengths, your weaknesses, your values, how the environment around you is affecting you and how you are how you are affecting your environment. But it's understanding of our strengths and and understanding of our our highest values and living our purpose, and it's is always always evolving. So I'm glad that you've made in the last several years in your personal journey, and you've done so much of work on yourself, and you're you're starting to see the difference. I think it's uh in the reflection and then the execution, which we talk about in the in the leap of action, uh, the second part of the book, in the second part in every chapter. So reflection and execution are the key things. Well, it's been such a privilege to meet you, to know you, and share all this with you. Steve, thank you so much for your support and coming and joining us in the Transforming Stress with Dr. Ash podcast. And I would look forward to uh collaborating with you, staying connected with you, and we can share more with the listeners in the years to come.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Thank you very much, Pife. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd greatly appreciate it. If you could leave a five-star review, a like, or subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Your support helps us reach more people looking to transform their stress into new comfort. We'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't forget to comment and share. For more tips and updates, please be sure to check out our social media links in the description box below. We can't wait to have you with us next time as we continue this journey towards turning stress into resilience. Remember, it's not the stress itself but how we rise above it that defines our strength. So stay resilient and keep thriving, and we will see you next time.