Hot Comb Survivors
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Hot Comb Survivors
Hot Comb Survivors: Counting Coins - Financial Wellness at D@mn Near 60!
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Financial wellness requires thoughtful planning around budgeting, legal protection, and finding purpose beyond work to ensure you don't outlive your money. Below are a few key takeaways:
• Creating a detailed budget that accounts for all expenses, including the small everyday costs that add up quickly
• Reviewing your budget quarterly to ensure you're sticking to your financial plan
• Securing essential legal documents like a will, healthcare proxy, and power of attorney regardless of your wealth
• Considering long-term care insurance, which can be obtained well into your 60s
• Planning for Medicaid eligibility by structuring assets appropriately, starting between ages 55-60
• Finding purpose in retirement beyond your career identity through community involvement
• Discussing your estate plans with your children and beneficiaries to ensure clarity
• Creating an inventory of all assets and their locations to prevent them from becoming unclaimed
• Maintaining community connections to combat loneliness and support mental health
• Teaching financial literacy to the next generation since this information isn't taught in schools
We appreciate you joining us for this important conversation with our special guests Jeff Boyce and Charles Whites who shared their personal and professional wisdom on securing your financial future.
Welcome to Hot Comb Survivors
Speaker 1Hello . I'm Denise , I'm Lisa , I'm Takisha and I'm Laverne , and we're the .
Speaker 1Hot Comb Survivors , come join us . It's an opportunity where women of a certain age will talk truth , trash and transformation . Thanks for joining today's podcast . I want to take an opportunity to say that us survivors really appreciate you all tuning in , so we totally appreciate the love . So for today's episode we're going to discuss financial wellness and along with us , hot Comb Survivors . We have two special guests with us . We have Jeff and Charles , who are Hot Comb Survivor spouses , so let me tell you a little bit about both of them . This is going to be a good show .
Speaker 1Jeff Boyce was a senior managing director at Mainstay Investments , which is a division of New York Life Investments . He's now retired from his long career with New York Life . Jeff is currently on the board of trustees for the Victory Portfolio Funds , also on the board of Westhab as well . He currently resides in White Plains . So let's talk a little bit about Charles Weitz . He's a vice president and associate general counsel at New York Life Company , whose team handles legal advisement for the company's life insurance , annuity products and legal matters concerning capital markets-based reinsurance transactions . Mr Weitz is chairman of the board of trustees for the Bronx Charter School for the Arts and a member of the planning board of the city of Mount Vernon where he currently resides .
Speaker 1With that said , I'm going to turn it over to Lisa and she'll guide us in this discussion as we talk to Charles and Jeff about
Key Financial Questions for Retirement
Speaker 1financial wellness . Yeah , absolutely so . Hey , y'all Clearly here at High Court Survivors , it is , bring your husbands to work day . And actually , you know , this idea of kind of bringing them into the conversation comes from the fact that , as a hot comb survivor , I'm at that point in my life where I'm thinking through things like retirement and wills and estates and kind of how to plan out the rest of my financial . I don't want to outlive my money , y'all . That's kind of the bottom line . And so , you know , obviously , having these conversations with my husband and recognizing that , in addition to being my husband , he also has kind of a wealth of experience and , you know , professional expertise that I think would be helpful not just to me but to all of you . And and as you know we are , you know , the Hot Comb survivors are part of a larger village and so whenever there's a life decision to be made , we tap that village in . And so Charles White , whose bio you heard , was just , you know , impressive but is also , you know , just a member of the village and we thought we would bring him into this conversation and have him do what he does , you know share his wealth of information with all of you . Having said that , I definitely want to , you know , because we have these heavyweights here and they bring this wealth of professional expertise and they're doing big things in big places and all that . All that .
Speaker 1I'm trying to get some brownie points here . You all hear that right . So I'm trying to get some brownie points , but just want to add this disclaimer that this conversation here today that we are all just kind of having informally off the record , they're going to share their opinions about things , but it is not meant to be any legal or professional advice in any way , shape or form . It is in any way , shape or form . It is not any way connected to the any entity or , you know , organization that they are professionally affiliated with . I just want to make sure that we separate their conversation today with any organization that they may be related to or that you think somehow this is legal advice . This is just really us sharing information , because that's what we do as um survivors , and so I'm gonna open the conversation up by just sharing with you all that you know I am coming up on the decision as to how long am I going to work .
Speaker 1I'm laughing because takesha apparently could not handle the fact that I said I'm coming . What I meant , what I meant y'all stay with me . What I meant was I'm coming up upon the age of when I will be looking into retirement . So I'm sitting at my desk trying to kind of ask myself the questions about what's that going to look like ? Right , because what I don't want to do is outlive my money . So I'm going to tap Jeff in right here to just kind of give us some ideas about what are the next steps . So I'm at my desk . I'm like this is not going to work for me much longer . I'm ready to get up out of here . What is the next thought that should come to me ?
Speaker 4How much money do I need in retirement ? I say that that's the wrong question because it's different for everyone's circumstances . So if you're a very , very wealthy person and you're used to a certain lifestyle , that may be very different than someone that lives on a more modest income . The real question that one should ask is what will my expenses look like in retirement ? And I often tell folks in this situation or when they ask me this question what does their budget , what does their current budget look like ? How much do they spend on ordinary things to live ? And from that you can now start making decisions about what you can cut out , what you can add , and you can get a reasonably realistic view of how much money I'm likely to spend in retirement or live on in retirement . From that number you can now devise an investment plan that will support those expenses so you can have savings .
Speaker 4Depending on how old you are in your 60s you might be eligible for retirement . I mean a Social Security . You might have a retirement program and a pension plan . All that would be income that you can pour in to meet those expenses . So the first place to start is to devise a budget of those things that you will be spending in retirement ? What am I spending my money on ? What are the must haves ? What are the likes to haves ? How many vacations do I want to have ? Do I have college tuition considerations ? Those are all things that will factor into you developing a budget , and from that we can now devise a planning strategy so can I ask you a quick question ?
Speaker 1so , with your budget , is it it's like an overview or is it very detailed ? Because I remember this is a funny story I'm with them . I remember meeting with you years ago when I first started working and devising this budget , and there were some things in that budget that I would have never , ever thought of . So how detailed should that budget be in order to get to the next step ?
Speaker 4So , denise , when we first started talking about this , when I was imploring you to do things a little differently , yes , yes .
Speaker 1Keyword implore .
Speaker 4Keyword implore . It would have been very difficult for me to talk to you about planning what your retirement investments would look like when you had or retirement expenses , I should say , looked like when you have a 30-year runway . That's going to be the furthest thing from your mind . So our conversation , as you recall , was all about developing a savings program . So I wanted you to put as much money as you could into your 401k any other ways you could save money . That was what I was imploring you to do , knowing that at the end of the tunnel , if you will , you would have assets that you can now pour into whatever lifestyle you need to support .
Speaker 1But I think to Denise's point , if I could just jump in here because I remember that conversation , because you were stressed , yes , I was .
Speaker 1You were stressed at the end of it , but I think what she's referring to is , when we think about a budget this is something that I'm also guilty of we think about those big things , right , the house , the rent , the car payment , insurance , all of the things that you named out but we don't add in stuff that really draws down right , like hair care . Yeah , how often are you going to get your nails done ? How many face shoes do you need , right ? I mean because you will say , like you know what , I don't have to have those things . I'll cut those things up . You know I'll just walk , I'll do without . But I think you know you take a hard look at you , know , do ? Am I really gonna cut out getting my hair color because you know you now ages , so your hair is great .
Speaker 3You may need to up the budget .
Speaker 1Here , color money , I don't know . But I'm just saying overall , I think we have to be realistic .
Speaker 4So when I sit down with people I typically will I will have a spreadsheet that lists to the minutiae all kinds of items , and I would typically ask the person to come to the table with six months worth of expenses , because there are going to be things you're absolutely not going to be thinking of , and from that we can now start filling in this spreadsheet , and you would be stunned at how much stuff , if you will , you spend money on and you're not even cognizant of it I can attest to that .
Speaker 1I tracked on one of these free tools and I went through my bank account . I went through all of the bank accounts and it was I was . It was very different than what I thought it was . I think my grocery numbers were way off . Right ,
Budgeting Reality Check
Speaker 1my streaming bill , I mean . We all moved from cable and decided to go to streaming to save money . And you find out , lo and behold , it's just just as much and you do want to hang out with your friends , you do want to have some kind of life , but just going through those actual expenses for six months I did the exact same thing for six months and it was quite eye-opening as to what and I'll tell you things like uber eats .
Speaker 4you would be very surprised , yes , how how much money you're spending eating out . Yes , transportation .
Speaker 1All those things , and also especially when you're in retirement , as I am right , you find out that you are not doing less of it . You're kind of doing more of it , yeah Right . So that's why I asked how detailed . Wait more of what you going out to lunch with your friends . You may take in another mani-pedi more than you usually do . You go to some plays . You do a lot of entertaining things because you have more time , do you do a ? Lot of working . No , I'm just saying you just have , I can't .
Speaker 2Yes , yes we are , yes , we are .
Speaker 1Right , merle , yeah , but anywho . But to get back to the budgeting , I think we don't think of these little things and that's why I asked , because when you are in retirement , some of the things that you're doing you're not even you're not even thinking of , because you have more time on your hand , right ?
Speaker 3so and in terms of taking a hard look , and I'll jump in and be kind of a semi-morbid guy here- that's the one I need , that said .
Speaker 3I think that you have to also think about how you're going to replace income and pay for assets in the event that something should happen right . So there are things like you know , life insurance that helps to cover gaps if something should happen . There's also long-term care if you happen to get sick . You know that you can use a policy to cover expenses if you can't do things for yourself what they call activities of daily living , and all those things .
Speaker 1So that's an HSA account . Is that it ? That helps ?
Speaker 3Well , you can use a health spit , a health care spending account to pay for that . But long-term care generally is just really a concept where it's a policy where you pay a premium and then at some point in the future it covers certain expenses . You know , if you're in a nursing home or if you're in a long term care rehab facility or something like that , and you get like kind of either a daily or monthly benefit based on how much money you pay into the policy and , to what Jeff said before , how much you save or if you budget for that factors into that are we too old for long term care policies at this point ?
Speaker 1Because we're looking at so we're considering retirement , like you know . I'm going to just say DNS . I'm damn near 60 , right ? So if you DNS , have you missed the long-term care window .
Speaker 3No DNS . Folks haven't missed the window . No , not at all . There's a red sunshine .
Speaker 1Yeah , there is a red sunshine , but what , typically ? If you're about , if you're thinking about retirement , like , what is the best time to step in ? Like so , if you're thinking , if you're in the process of thinking it , so say , if you just turned 50 , like , should you start then ? Is that a good time ? Or , like you said , or before , when should you start investing in something like that ?
Speaker 3Yeah , some studies show that people do start around age 50 thinking about long-term care and buying policies , and generally people buy policies up to 60 and potentially beyond , and it all depends on how much disposable income you have , you know , in order to pay for the policy . So if you have budgeted appropriately and you have some savings , you may want to , you know , pay into a long-term care policy .
Speaker 2How much are these policies typically Like hundreds of dollars per month or extra .
Speaker 3They can be . It depends on what your budget is . It can range anywhere from a couple hundred dollars a month to thousands of dollars a month , depending on what kind of benefits you want , right ? And then depending on how long you have it . Just by way of a quick example my aunt , who just turned 87 this year . She had a long-term care policy for upwards of almost 40 years and she paid , but she only paid into it about like $200 or so a month . So with the accumulation of things like that , she had a couple hundred thousand dollars worth of coverage at her disposal that she can use now . Oh , okay , you know with her situation , so she started . So if you go back , she started at like around between age 45 and 50 , right ? So when we're talking about around that time and then the dns marker , like you can still get it done .
Speaker 1And that's so . You can take out that money even though you don't need it .
Speaker 3Well , you don't necessarily take it out . What happens is you make claims to pay the benefits or the care that you're getting , right . So that's what happens .
Speaker 1It's like a pool of money that you can access . And it's tax-free .
Speaker 3That's correct .
Speaker 1And what and what is this called again ?
Speaker 1long-term care policy okay and how much life insurance should I have . And I asked that question , um , as you know , like my mom , my mom I'll share will be 90 this year and she's obviously , you know , thinking about what happens moving forward , and she's looked into securing a plot right , and one of the quotes that she got for the plot was $20,000 , so which blew my , you know whole mind , but I'm recognizing that that's not so far a foul of what's average . So so , thinking about that , just the cost , never mind leaving something for the family , just the cost of your own expenses , right , how much life insurance should you have ?
Speaker 3My answer is going to be qualified by another disclaimer , saying that my views are my own and not those of my current employer , which is a major life insurance company . That being said , I think it's all about taking an inventory of your , of your debts and what your major assets are in building life insurance around that . So , for Takisha and I's case , when we think about , you know , our primary residence and other things , right , you know , we come up with a number , you know , to cover those expenses in the event that I'm no longer here , right ? So she doesn't have the burden of having to pay to bury me and all those things , plus having to , you know , carry a mortgage or think about those things or whatever the case , and that number is different for everybody . In our case , though , I would say that it is , you know , in the seven-figure category . You know , just to get a sense , have you covered us like the village .
Speaker 1So can we circle back to Jeff ? So we talked about the budget , so we're realizing that— .
Speaker 4Well , let me just add one thing on the budget . Okay , because there's one other important thing that people forget to do . So they'll do a budget . Okay , put it in a drawer and go back to their old habits .
Speaker 1You got to inspect what you expect , and I say that because you've got to inspect what you expect . Say that again . Say it again . You've got to inspect what you expect . What you expect Okay , right now . So what you ?
Speaker 4want to do is you want to review . That's been bossed . You've got to review this budget . I tend to say quarterly Some people would say , you know , semi-annually but you want to see whether or not you're accurate and so , okay , did I spend what I thought I was going to spend on this category and you go right down the line so you compare with your current spending , to what your budget said you should be spending , and you'll see where there are gaps and where there are opportunities to further cut back or to further save . So that inspection of the budget and comparing it with your current spending is critically important . A lot of people will do the first part yeah , then forget about it and before you know , you're back in the same situation that you were in A quick question I'm going to piggyback a little bit on Charlie's conversation .
Speaker 1but in your opinion , do you think life insurance should be part of your like ? Is it an asset , like a financial wealth ? How should life insurance be used ?
Speaker 4Well , in our personal situation we use it as a financial asset , but everybody's situation is going to be a little different because not everybody is thinking about leaving a legacy . You might not have anyone in particular that you care to leave anything to right , or you may not like your kid .
Speaker 1You may not like your kid .
Speaker 4I'm spending every day , but at some point at some point , particularly if you've done really , really well , you may not need life insurance and I say this as a person that worked almost 40 years for a life insurance company because your assets may be such to suffice for your legacy obviously burial and so you may not necessarily need life insurance to fill in the gaps that Charles was talking about , because there may not be any gaps . So it depends
Essential Legal Documents Everyone Needs
Speaker 4on your situation and what you want your financial picture to look like at the time of your demise .
Speaker 3Yeah , and if I could piggyback on that and I was kidding about the kid by the way .
Speaker 3In case your kids are listening oh , they will listen , but yeah , I was totally kidding . But I think that the life insurance aspect is important from the standpoint also of trying to be debt-free for , you know , for whomever remains right , because what you don't want to happen is to have a situation where you still have a mortgage , where you still have property taxes , as you got to think about , where you still have a car note , where you still have all these things , a card note , where you still have all these things , and the life insurance , leveraged as an asset , can help you to defuse a lot of that debt , even in a situation where , if there's college tuition that you may have to think about , that has to be paid , uh , in the future , and you can put that money away . So it is really , um , an asset that you can leverage uh , you know , to do that and then make money off of that money also , depending on the type of policy that you get .
Speaker 4And the other component of that is you've got to think about what your estate taxes may look like , Because a lot of people will get a house as an inheritance property but not recognizing . Now you've got to pay potentially an inheritance tax on that house and now you've got to liquidate that house .
Speaker 1So I think that's a good segue . Maybe , chuck , talk to us a little bit about estate planning . Who needs a will ? You know , I know that not everybody does . You know what . In what situations is it maybe better not to have your assets transferred through different ways and talk a little bit about ?
Speaker 3that all right . Well , that's that's teach me yeah that is a conversation .
Speaker 3So so well , where I'll start is I think generally just about every person should have a will right , because every person has a certain amount of assets that they may want to distribute to somebody or give away right . It may not be a whole lot of money , or it may not be some major asset like a house or a boat or a car , but there could be sentimental things that you want certain people to have , or whatever the case . So I think generally everybody needs a will . Stepping back from that , there's a process that's called probate . So when you pass your estate is probated , basically what that means . That's the legal process by which your beneficiaries or your heirs , next of kin , you know their assets pass on to them right . So what typically happens is there's a personal representative that is appointed . If you don't have a will already , that appoints one . There's an inventory of assets . That happens . Those assets are valued and then , based on the value of those assets , you have to pay estate taxes Right , and then after that you have to pay any debts that the estate has . So if you have outstanding credit card bills or any other bills like that , you have to pay those and then the estate is effectively closed . So that's just a high level overview of probate . So that's just a high level overview of probate .
Speaker 3Now what you should think about , I think , with regard to estate planning generally , is , first of all , you want to know what you have , so take a clear inventory of all of your assets . That's just like kind of what we talked about with the budget earlier , right ? So you want to do that . And then you want to have some key documents the will being one of them , potentially what's called a revocable living trust in order to put assets into Right , because if you put assets into that , those assets are not necessarily subject to probate and or estate taxes , depending on how it's structured , right . So that's another part . And in the health care proxy , so you have somebody on your behalf that can direct medical professionals and others with regard to decisions concerning your health if you're not able to make them on your own . So there's other things here , but I've said a lot , so I'll stop there to see if there are any questions .
Speaker 1No , that's a lot . No , that is a lot , you know , and I definitely think the information is helpful , particularly around the health care proxy , right ? So you know , I think you know folks think a little bit about wealth and estate planning and all of that , but I think at this age , certainly you know DNS folks . Some of the things that we think about as well is what happens in the event that someone has to make decisions . Yeah , and that may be something that you should be giving some thought to , yes , so that you can give some direction . I know that I've been in this situation where I was called to make that decision and not having had the guidance of the individual prior to that , and it's definitely helpful to know , if you have to make that decision that you're making , the decision the individual has shared is what they wanted .
Speaker 4So I just wanted to kind of ask you about that and as part of what Charles was saying with respect to an inventory of assets . You also and I can't tell you how many times I've found people in this situation make a list of where everything is , because there are so many times when people didn't know that my aunt had a life insurance policy , they didn't know that they had a house in the south , or they didn't know that they had this bank account that was sitting over here , or the passwords of , even of certain things . So there should be a list of all of that stuff , or air property or air property to make sure that whoever is the executor of the estate has an idea where to find stuff . One of the roles that I played at New York Life I was very involved in the achievement process . That's a process where the state actually , if they can't identify where these assets are , it just sits with the company Wow , and so there's a good faith effort that the company has to make to try to find you , but I can tell you there are millions and millions of dollars just sitting out there and nobody knows how to find the people that these assets for me is that because someone had a life insurance policy , didn't tell anyone , so now the person dies and no one , and no one yeah exactly
Speaker 3yeah , the . Way that typically works is there's something called a social security death master file and the insurance companies do a sweep on that periodically so they may find that someone has passed . They can't find the beneficiary of the policy , for whatever reason the beneficiary may have passed or whatever . They disappeared and then the money just sits . There's a death benefit associated with that life insurance policy . It may sit After a while . The insurance company has to turn that money over to the state after a certain amount of time if they cannot identify the beneficiary .
Speaker 1So who , okay , what website or where would you go to do this sweep on the Social Security , like so , if you had someone that passed away and it's like , say , two years and you don't know and you're hearing this information now , where would you go ? Did I miss that ? Well , that's where companies go . Right , that's a Social . I miss that .
Speaker 3Well , that's where companies go right , that's a social security death master file , that's what companies use . Okay , but you can do a google search with regard to and I forget what it's called it's like an obituary website or you know , whatever the case to try to determine if people you know have uh , you know , have passed or not . And then , usually , if you can recall the name of the insurance company , if you remember by conversation , whatever .
Speaker 3I just call an insurance company up and say hey , you know , I think this individual may have a policy with your company and the social security numbers that and they can immediately look it up and tell you whether there's a policy that exists .
Speaker 4And the other piece is let your beneficiaries or benefactors know that you put them down , because if you didn't tell your benefactors , they may not even know that you left me any money Right ? So all those things are things that you think about when you are putting together your estate plan that are very important .
Speaker 1But I think it's a good idea where you said at least have everything in a central area . So , when people are going God forbid , something happens and they're going through your file cabinet or what have you they can come across I don't know a binder or something with all of the information .
Speaker 3Just tell somebody where it is , because I know often people will put stuff in a safe deposit box and then , once you pass it on , no one knows where the key is , and it's almost impossible to get access to a safe deposit box and what's connected to that too and this is one document I forgot to mention which I think is critical now for everybody is to have a power of attorney yeah to make sure that you have you designate somebody to be able to handle your affairs if you're not able to do it , and that will allow access to bank accounts of the credit accounts , store accounts , anything financial that you need to handle , you know , in the event that you're not able to do so .
Speaker 3So I think , from a just from a beginning perspective , I think you should have the healthcare proxy and the power of attorney like right off the top .
Speaker 1I'm sorry . I'm sorry . So those things are . You can find a template online , and does it have to be ? Do you have to go and have it , you know , stamped by someone ? What is it called ?
Speaker 2A notary Notarized yeah .
Speaker 1Does it need to be notarized ?
Speaker 3and all that . Okay , yeah , those documents typically have to be notarized . You can typically search online and find a specific , you can find a state-specific form , you know , that will comply with the laws wherever you live . And then , just you know , get it done . And it's easy to do , you know , but oftentimes , you know , it's just not top of mind for us , Right , right , you know , until it needs to be and it's kind of haphazard and rushed and too late . But you know , I think the three big things are the power of attorney , the health care proxy and a will . There are even forms of wills online that you can use , you know to you know to fill out online that you can use , you know to you know to fill out , and you can put in your own specific instructions with regard to who you want to have get what and all those things and also with the will .
Speaker 2don't you have to have it stamped by the municipality that you're in to make ?
Speaker 3it binding , yeah , you should have it witnessed and notarized and typically , and you can have it uh , you know , done or attested to by the probate court , which makes it easier in the probate process . If you go in with a will , with an accounting of assets , and say , here's this document , I have a person designated in the will who's going to be the personal representative or the executor of the will , and it makes all that , you know , much , much easier and that's particularly important if you think people are going to come out of the woodwork to contest what well you might have .
Speaker 1That's not been notarized or witnessed exactly right , okay , and you said something about the evoke . What ?
Speaker 3is it a revocable living trust ?
Speaker 1and these are things that you can have regardless of your financial situation . Right , absolutely I want . I don't want people to feel like , well , you know what ? I don't have a whole lot of assets like this is not for me . So what you're saying that you definitely want the health care , basically everything you lined out . It's about making sure things are handled the way you would want them to as it regards to your health and your assets , regardless of how large or how small .
Speaker 3Gotcha , yeah , and I put it in the category of really taking charge of your own personal circumstance . I mean , that's the budget piece , that has the estate plan piece . So to make sure that , whatever it is , whether in life or in death , like you're in charge , like you set the course for how you want things to be .
Speaker 1You said this was semi-morbid . This is full morbid by the way Full , morbid Full morbid . I couldn't even try . There is nothing semi about it .
Speaker 1Nothing semi about that , but I do think it's really helpful information , particularly for the Nothing semi about it . Nothing semi about that , but I do think it's really helpful information , particularly for the power of attorney , because I think I know for me for a long time I thought , you know , power of attorney was really something you know you did with some sort of immediate need right , and I didn't think about it as something that you should do proactively .
Speaker 2So it didn't feel like .
Speaker 1I'm turning'm turning . No , I think .
Speaker 1People often think I'm giving away authority over my accounts right away but , the power of you know attorney , you can say this will only kick in in the event that I am not capable of managing . You know my own own affairs , so it's definitely something that you can do and make decisions about . I think also , if you have college age students , that may be something you wanna think about for them , right , because now your kid's away in college , your child is 18 years old and now they have this ability to make decisions for themselves , your access to their records is limited . Yes , it is . So . Folks I think don't realize you could be in a situation where you're an 18-year-old and they're talking to you about HIPAA and the like , so you definitely want to think about that for your college age students as well .
Speaker 3For sure . That's a great point . It works . It works in reverse and you have to make sure that you have
Asset Protection and Medicaid Planning
Speaker 3all of those things accounted for .
Speaker 4But I'd also like to amplify something that .
Speaker 3Jeff said , which is about making sure that any beneficiaries or heirs are aware of what you are planning to provide for them or to them , because it could be a circumstance where , if you have a primary residence , your heirs may not want it . They may say , hey , this is too much maintenance or too big of a burden for me to take on . You know I don't want to do it , and if you know that , then you might take a different course of action with regard to that asset or any other asset that you know your heirs or designated beneficiaries you know may not want .
Speaker 3So you know , I think it's especially when you're thinking about developing a will and you know Takesha and I have done this . Like you know , we sat down and thought about you know how we wanted to do things , but we've had conversations with our kids , Maya and Malcolm , to make sure that you know they're OK with you , know how we were thinking about doing things . They're okay with how we were thinking about doing things in the event of an unfortunate circumstance in those states . So it's a conversation that you need to have .
Speaker 1I think that makes a good point , because I think , kind of culturally , we don't talk about finances without our children Because we I think many of us come from a generation where that just wasn't done .
Speaker 1You talk about your bills , you talk about your health concerns , whatever . But to kind of bring the kids into that conversation , jeff and I have done the same thing , so that they're kind of aware of the circumstances , the decisions we've made about what happens . Should we , what not , should we when we pass on ? So I think that's a great point . But it also gives a level of peace , because it's already chaotic If something happens .
Speaker 1It's very stressful . It's very stressful and to keep the peace in your family , I think it's important to list and get a will and all the things that you need to keep some level of peace and some type of order in these situations . But , like Laverne was saying earlier , it doesn't matter if you have a whole lot on you . Maybe you don't want your grandmother's cameo going to your Aunt Sally . So therefore , put it in the will and say I want my Aunt Tracy to have it . You know , it's just no seriously , exactly , absolutely . It could be anything . I don't want my Cusinart pot going to Cousin . She's saying she don't know how to take care of anything . I want cousin so-and-so . I was my mother's living will in terms of what needed to happen , who needs to get what , who definitely should not get it . So I had all that information and I think it's important because you do want to have some level of order when something crazy , to make sure your wishes are being handled exactly the way you want it to happen Exactly exactly .
Speaker 4Okay , there's a couple of other areas that I think folks should consider as they're going into retirement . One would be this notion of caregiving . I was telling Lisa and I were driving over there's a statistic out there that says seven out of ten women will be responsible for the caregiving of either an elderly or a young child that they've kind of taken in because someone their age has passed on and that can put a tremendous financial stress on you . So I would think that's something that you might want to think about , something that you might want to think about what's the probability of that happening , and at least factoring that into your budgeting process .
Speaker 2Especially us , the hot comb survivors . We're definitely in the sandwich generation right , we care for the children caring for parents . So we have all this to juggle .
Speaker 4So that's a very , very critical component , particularly if , presumably , your income drops and you don't have this runway to try to offset some of the expense of taking care of someone else , because you're now living on what we call a fixed income .
Speaker 1Which is maybe why you should have a conversation . If your parents are still living , you should have a conversation If you are . If your parents are still living , you should have a conversation with them about long-term care as well . Right , so you have it for yourself , which probably maybe you'll also be thinking about it for someone who you may ultimately end up caring for . Yeah , because that , yeah , that's what I would do .
Speaker 4And if they have assets , you might wanna think about having those assets moved down or put in the name of the next generation or a generation further down , because Medicaid is really really difficult to secure for that purpose , if , in fact , your parent needs long-term care , not just parents , but even siblings . Yeah .
Speaker 2You know we have to juggle it all to help figure it out .
Speaker 3Yeah , and that's a great point , jeff , and maybe that's probably a good segue to talk a little bit about . You know Medicaid and you know and assets and you know and how that generally works . So , with regard to Medicaid , the key is you have restrictions on what assets you can have in order to be what they call Medicaid eligible . So typically they fall into two buckets that are called , I don't know countable and non countable assets . So I'll start with the exceptions which are non countable . Right , so that's basically things like your primary residence , like the things that are in the house , like your household goods , things like that , like you know one one car retirement accounts , the income payments from it , not the principal from the retirement account . So there are other things , but those are generally things that are non-countable .
Speaker 3You know things that are countable are investment assets . You know additional cars , additional properties , you know things like that , and there are ways to you know to get around the requirements and protect those assets and still , you know , get Medicaid . You know those are best . You know spoken to about with a what they call an elder care attorney , typically , who would handle those types of things . But there are certain types of trusts and other vehicles that can kind of shield those assets . And what most experts generally recommend is that you start preparing for those things at least five years in advance , because that is the kind of the look back period for Medicaid . So you know , to the extent that you want to kind of squirrel something away , you don't Medicaid to touch it . They say at least five years in advance .
Speaker 1You should be thinking about the plans for that , but five years in advance of what like .
Speaker 3So five years in advance of you applying for Medicaid right .
Speaker 1So you won't really know , right , you won't , you won't necessarily . So is there a good age to think about ? Because I now you know I'm DNS , I mentioned that right .
Speaker 3I got the .
Speaker 1DNS . You know I'm DNS and . I'm already considering like . I you know , I would think that I have a longer runway than five years , but you , just you , just you don't know right . So I'm already considering . You know what does it look like for me to kind of move some assets around , Because the older you get , the less that you want attached to your own name . So is there an age Like is it 60 that ? You should start to think about that , or what are your thoughts ?
Speaker 3I'll defer to Jeff on this because I know he kind of went through the process not too long ago . But if it were me I think between the ages of 55 and 60 , I would start thinking about it and I would try to make that asset protection part of my overall estate plan .
Speaker 4Right and I think in many cases it's personal to everyone's situation . But I think Charles is exactly right . Between 55 and 60 is something to start thinking about . I can tell you I have a family member that certainly is going through the process and especially with the advent of Alzheimer's situation and dementia creeping and where you need round-the-clock care for individuals , that can happen . You know people are getting Alzheimer's in their 60s and 70s . So yeah , and I can tell you that it could be north of $10,000 to $15,000 a month , could be north of ten to fifteen thousand dollars a month to be put into a facility that's going to care for that individual . So it's not insignificant , because you could have saved for retirement your entire life and find out that you now are suffering from some sort of disease and now your money is just totally wiped out because you just can't afford .
Speaker 1It's unfortunate that seniors a lot of people work so hard and they fall right into that category . So what are some of the other things that we should think about
Finding Purpose Beyond Work
Speaker 1in retirement ?
Speaker 4I mean , one of the areas that I found interesting and I hadn't thought about until I had a conversation with a colleague , is put the money aside . What do you want to do when you retire ? I mean , so so many of us have wrapped , so many of us have wrapped our identity in our work , that one day you're working , you feel you have a purpose . You get up , you know what you're working , you feel you have a purpose . You get up , you know what you're going to do . You have a routine . The next day , what do I do now ? And oftentimes your friends and your colleagues are still working . So it's what do I do ? And I know a lot of people that have had mental health challenges because they really didn't know what to do with themselves . Many folks have in fact , gone back to work as a result of that . So you know , I had never thought about that because when I retired I knew I was not going to do anything .
Speaker 4So I didn't have an issue with that . And I can attest to the fact that you did struggle in retirement , though , I've had a lot of friends of mine that just felt they had no purpose in life and just was . I don't know what to do with myself .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's interesting . Like your whole identity , your title becomes your identity , right , and often , when you're in gatherings or whatever , people will ask you . So what do you do ? Or you know what do you work ? That becomes what defines you Right and you feel particularly as black women . I think because black women you know , we are raised to be workabies . So I think when someone says , well , what are you doing ? And your answer has to be , well , yeah , I'm retired .
Speaker 1I mean a lot of people are asking me oh , how you been during retirement . I said I'm loving it . And he's like , oh , you don't miss it . I'm like not really . And and that's largely because I think before retirement I had a lot going on already , so I had my singing as I'm singing Now I have the podcast . I still do early intervention from time to time , but I filled up my time pretty well without feeling like I've lost out on something . That's a nice balance . It is a nice balance and and and .
Speaker 1But there are times , you know , people ask me well , what are you doing ? Nothing ? Oh , you know what . You don't know what you want to do . I said what do I ? I've done 32 years of yeah , this , so I'm okay . I'm okay with that . But but , like you said , you have to be in the right mental space . I have colleagues now well , former colleagues that are like frightened to death to this 72 still working because they don't know what they're going to do with their life once they retire . And that's real and that's . But if that's something that you need to do , then by all means yeah .
Speaker 1That first year is just kind of loafing and deciding what your identity is , with your kids away and you not having this job . So I always joke that I'm living the life of a 12 year old , right , I take swimming lessons , guitar lessons , uh , you know , I go to see shows and do all this group stuff and so , yeah , yeah , the great thing is I can drive myself and I don't have to bother anyone else to , um , to drive me . But yeah , it was a struggle that first year , but I think for now it's year two , I'm in that groove and I'm comfortable . So what do I want ? To do ? Whatever I want , or nothing exactly , and just really just being okay with that . And then culturally , that really goes against sort of the black woman superhero thing , um , but it's just too much stuff that I don't miss .
Speaker 2Well , we have to make that normal . Yes , yes , right .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think I'm finally at the point where I can try this and try that or do nothing . But yeah , that first year was rough .
Speaker 4But I would say this it's important to think about that while you're still working . So if you're a year or two and you're thinking about it , think about what are those things I might consider doing , because that might be the point where you join a charity or you join a club and you start getting involved in those things . So when you hit that date , you're still doing other stuff rather than waking up and there's nobody in the house but you .
Speaker 2I remember sorry to cut you off , just a Jane joke actually because I had double booked weekends for years and years .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , yes .
Speaker 2You know that's going to be a big challenge . Just slowing down , yeah , Taking it easy .
Speaker 1But I think to your point making a list of the things that you want or would like to do and explore what that looks like once that day comes . Like Laverne was saying oh you know what I think I want to take guitar lessons . Put that on the list , put it up , you know , even if you're crafty , do a vision board . Some of these ladies out here like to do vision boards , to do a vision board , and I think we did that not too long ago , um , and I realized that I'm doing because I was I was at the cusp of about to retire and I see , when I look at that vision board , I can see .
Speaker 1You can see the vision , you're living the vision yeah , I wanted to do a little bit more singing and I am doing more singing . You know I am into I'm reading my bible a little bit more these days , so all those things that I put on that vision board , um , it's , it's coming to life now and it's really kind of cool . It's kind kind of cool and I'm enjoying it . I hope everyone else can do that . And you want to be in good health . Yeah , got to think about your health . I think that's something that's important that a lot of us , as super women , you know , we don't think about our health , we don't look into those type of things , we don't check on ourselves and really talk about those type of things . We don't check on ourselves and really talk about , yeah , hey , what's going on ?
Speaker 3in my body and taking inventory of that . That's all I have to say . No , well , I think that's a great point , but I was just going to piggyback on that and say I think it's . What's also important is the sense of community .
Speaker 1I think you have to maintain that , like you can't , you know , become a shut-in and that's it . Yeah , because you got to stay out there .
Speaker 3In my opinion , uh , you know , be active and whatever active means to you and um , and just keep it , and you know , just keep it moving .
Speaker 1It's an excellent point . I did read that loneliness is a leading cause of death for elderly people . So you know the human connection is so important I think you know , to Denise and Jeff's point , to really kind of solidify in your head what the next step after know the next phase of life , because I think a lot of us go . I'm just gonna be tired , I just gonna go somewhere and sit down and that you know that's . And then 10 minutes later , right ?
Speaker 2right then , you know that was .
Speaker 1I think when I look back at my mom when she retired , she was like oh , you know , I get a chance to just relax and I'm like , but then she really settled into that to the point where she didn't want to go anywhere , she didn't want to do anything , which was , I think , looking back , she was going into a bit of a depression , yeah , and we didn't even realize it until it was like we can't , I set it up so she can go to the local , what is it ?
Speaker 1I thought my mom would call her yeah To the senior center and she would refuse yeah . So I think it's really really important , like you said , Chuck , to create community before that even happens , because they're going to help you keep connected to the world . Church is a great place to do that .
Speaker 2Church is a great place .
Speaker 1I'll make a plug here for my God . In addition to that , it is a great place to build you know relationship , to get involved . Get involved in a church that has a busy ministry right . That is not just about what's going on inside the walls of the church , but what's going on outside right .
Speaker 1That's really active in community , because that's definitely a way to connect . Joining the what do you call it ? The Y or the community senior citizen center , because they're always going to have those really cool activities and there's people Along with church , just people , right Especially the DNS , folks DNS .
Speaker 1Come on . Dns in the house . Dns in the house . Okay , yeah , I think this has been a lovely , informative conversation . I and I know that this is a conversation I have often , but I do feel there were a number of points of that , a number of takeaways , um , for us today , and we'll , you know , kind of put together some key takeaways and make those available , um you know , to our listeners , because this is definitely a conversation that we want to keep going in community .
Speaker 2So we appreciate you .
Speaker 1We appreciate you anyway Each and every day . We appreciate you all for taking time to spend time talking to us . So , as is our custom , we end our podcast with each sharing what was true trash and transformation
Truth, Trash, and Transformation Takeaways
Speaker 1as part of this conversation or just kind of as a larger part of the topic , so you can each kind of jump in and share with us . Let's start with you , jeff . What was the true trash transformation ? Let's start with you , jeff . What ?
Speaker 4was the true trash transformation . Well , let me start with the trash , where you and I can have more than one item for the trash .
Speaker 1Hey , this is you .
Speaker 4This is totally on brand for Jeff . By the way , it's never too late to start thinking about securing your financial stability . Wait , this is the trash part . This is the trash part . A lot of people were telling me that you have to have X amount in your times around . That's trash .
Speaker 4It's never too late to start thinking about your financial security . The other trash that I would point out is this notion about it can't happen to me , particularly as it comes to your health situation or having to care for someone else that you know . Oh , you know that one .
Speaker 4I won't be in that situation , so you don't plan or think about that truth is , budgeting from a financial stability standpoint might be the most important thing you can do for yourself , because it'll give you a financial snapshot of where you are .
Speaker 4And look , companies do it all the time right . They spend months and months preparing their budgets , yeah , and then matching that to their income to determine where their financial state is . What we need to do , then , as individuals , plan your budget know your income and understand what your financial state is , and also periodically whether that be quarterly or twice a year look and see whether or not that budget and that planning process is real . Did it match what your expectations were ? Transformational ? For me , I would say the the retirement space can be transformational and as much as we talk about it being being a challenge to your mental health because you don't know how to identify yourself , what the purpose is , knowing that you now have freedom from being attached to something else that may not be you to me , can change who you are and give you a totally different outlook on life .
Speaker 2How about you then , kim ? Okay , I got you .
Speaker 4That was off the top of the dome , very nice , very nice .
Speaker 1Brilliant , that's brilliant . That's pretty good for a rules guy .
Speaker 3Yeah , it's good for a rules guy , mr White . Oh's good for a rules guy . Mr Boyce , oh , next , okay . Well , I think .
Speaker 1I can be a little quicker . Wow , polite dig , polite dig .
Speaker 3Okay , yes , no , I tease my good friend Mr Boyce , mr Boyce , but my truth is is that everyone should have a power of attorney and a health care proxy done , and most people can get it done within a day , within a business day . It is not hard to do . You can Google it , you can get it notarized and signed and witnessed and and then you have that . Everything else may take a little bit longer . You can do your living , trust , if you need a will , if you need , or whatever the case , but I think those two things are critical in my opinion . So that would be my truth my trash is much along the lines of what Jeff said .
Speaker 3These steps should be taken especially by our people . There is kind of a stigma about talking about these things and not wanting to realize these eventual truths and do planning for it . Eventual truths and do planning for it . And that's why a lot of us like we end up in situations where everything is last minute . Takesha and I just had a situation where we had a family member pass who did not have a will .
Speaker 3you know and has assets and you know and trying to assist , you know , the family with how those things will be distributed and what will happen . So this applies to all of us . It doesn't matter whether you have $10 or $10 million . We all can benefit from this conversation that we've had . And then the transformation for me is just the transformation of being fulfilled from being able to help , no-transcript estate planning standpoint or many of the myriad of things that we talked about . Somebody could be impacted , you know , by trying to procure Medicaid benefits in the future . So you know , the ability to help and the fulfillment of that is my transformation .
Speaker 4And one thing I would add to touch on , that is , teach your children about these things in the next generation , because if we don't do it , you're not getting any of this information in your school system . So we have an obligation to teach our children and the generations coming up that these are things you ought to be thinking about and learning about as you go through life .
Speaker 3The children are our future . They're our future .
Speaker 2Teach them well , let them lead the way , lead the way , show them all the beauty they have .
Speaker 1They possess .
Speaker 4And if they have a sense of pride , make it easier .
Speaker 1Kids have a sense of pride . My truth is Chuck was not shorter than Jack and the truth is you were . And that's all trash . The truth part of a trash talk falls somewhere in between in there . But you know , realistically , I think you know the truth has you know , been stated that that we need to be attentive to these issues and the sooner the better .
Speaker 1Right , these are the kind of things that we put on the bad burner , and the truth has been stated that we need to be attentive to these issues , and the sooner the better right . These are the kind of things that we put on the bad burner , and the truth has been stated that we need to be attentive to these issues , and the sooner the better right . And these are the kind of things that we put on the bad burner . And the truth is , you know , we don't have as much time as we often think we do , so get it done today . So that's the truth .
Speaker 1The trash is that somehow we've gotten many of us have gotten the impression that what we have is not valuable enough to be a part of this conversation . So I hope that you know we have stressed enough that you know what is valuable to you is valuable , and that you know you should take whatever steps you need to protect that . You know , because it matters . You matter , your legacy matters . Whether it be five dollar piece or a 500 million dollar piece , the value is not defined by monetary .
Speaker 1So you know , I think you know much of what we talked about . You know it sounds as if it applies to high net worth individuals . I don't consider myself a high net worth individual , so you know , I just want to add that as trash and the transformation is just , I think , the ability to recognize that , even at DNS , that there's so much more that I have to offer . You know the world and , as you know Jeff points out , as I transition from one faith to another , my ministry is something that I can focus on . And I think ministry , you know , walking in God's purpose , which sometimes gets a little muddy on the 9 to 5 , the ability to just kind of do that with intentionality is transformative for me .
Speaker 2Okay , I'll go . I guess my truth is budgets matter , so we all have to stick to them , even though I'm laughing .
Speaker 1Chef was like who is this ? It's the truth . Who is horrible ? Who is horrible ?
Speaker 2The truth was the trash that I have is death comes quicker than we would like to think and it comes in waves and , having experienced it , I know that those waves come and you're like feeling overwhelmed , but this information that we have and the community that we have makes it so much more easy to deal with and the transformation is basically I'm going to steal what Chuck said community being so important . It's so important that we cultivate community , that we sustain it and we stay close to one another . It's my transformation and we stay close to one another .
Speaker 2It's my transformation .
Speaker 1So my truth is you need to be accountable financially , and it doesn't take a whole lot . It doesn't take a lot of money . I think there's that accountability piece . That is the truth . The trash is yeah , we don't talk about it and we know it's coming , regardless if we talk about it or not . So I think it's a little bit selfish to not prepare for that . And if you are so particular when you are here and you want things done a certain way , let's keep that same energy and make sure you specify things that need to happen .
Speaker 2What's the transformation ?
Speaker 1This is just a start for a lot of folks . Keep the conversation going . It's not a one and done and the lights go on and you've automatically transformed . I just think it's an ongoing discussion and we just need to make sure that we are more educated and that we were comfortable having that voice and to I think it was just relief , like having the conversations with the kids , having the conversations with other family members . This is certainly not easy , but it needs to be done . So do it Alright , and that's a wrap .
Speaker 1Oh , she does wow , denise doesn't get a . She doesn't get a T squared . I'm so sorry she doesn't get a TTT . Right , right . So my truth is , retirement is a blessing . Many do not get to this point and if you are approaching it or you're in it , it is a blessing . You have yet some more time to get it right .
Speaker 1Right , the trash is that time is winding down . It could be winding , you know is winding down , it could be winding , you know winding down or whatever , but it's not . It's not . This is a new Time . That's the trashy part , because a lot of people think that is okay , but it is not .
Speaker 1It's really a time where you are thinking about Another phase of your life that is the most brilliant . Why ? Because you've gotten so much . You've attained so much wisdom . You have your wiser , your finer right . No , you are Lisa . You just know so much more than you did when you were 20 . So I think this is a really great time . Your children have grown , or almost grown , and they're almost out the house . So I think that , thinking that it's a time , some people do think it's a time of wind-up . That's why they don't want to take advantage of the time and the retirement , of whatever position they're in and the transformation is is planning for the future . What we're doing now talking about , uh , how we're going to keep things in decency and in order I think that's a transformation . And and in speaking with our children and planning those trips and just enjoying the rest of your life . Literally it is limited , but I think this is it's still a great , great , great time in your life . If you can get to it , you can make it great .
Speaker 2And not again .
Speaker 1That's it . Okay , so thanks . So much , guys , but before we close out , I just want to make sure that we put that disclaimer out there again .
Speaker 3Oh sure so the views expressed by myself and Mr Voice are ours and ours alone . That we make sure we put that disclaimer out there again . Oh sure so the views expressed by myself and Mr Voice are ours and ours alone and are not affiliated with any particular entities that we may be affiliated with Okay good good With that said .
Speaker 1Thanks so much for listening . Take care Until next time . Thank you , I know it's . The lights are on . I thought you might be home . I wasn't sure . Take care until next time .
