2. All About Overcoming Anxiety & Other Woes - Kristen's Story

In this episode I take you through what it was like for me as a teen and young adult experiencing anxiety, but more importantly how I overcame it. I address which tools, mindsets, and therapies have helped me the most. 
Trigger Warning: details of experiencing anxiety and panic are discussed.

You can contact me via kristen@sakalyamassage.com or follow me at https://www.instagram.com/sakalyamassage/ if you would like more information about any of these modalities. 
I've included links below:

The Healing Code Book by Alexader Lloyd
https://thehealingcodes.com/book/

The Healer's Blueprint 
https://www.tampendleton.com/

More about NET 
https://www.netmindbody.com/more-information/what-is-net/

More about NAET
https://www.naet.com/

Transcript

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I'm Kristen Russell, and this is The Wholly Empowered Podcast, where we dive into all things holistic healing and open our minds, hearts, and paradigms to new ideas so we can live our most empowered, healthy, joyful lives. This is episode two of Wholly Empowered. I'm Kristen Russell and I'll be your host. In this episode, I'm going to be diving deeper into my story and I have a lot of, I have a lot of things that I've experienced that contribute to why I have chosen more alternative medicine, holistic paths with how I handle my wellness. I'm not going to. Deep dive into all of them. I'm going to give you a little overview of a few, but I think the anxiety issue that I talked about in the last episode is probably the most relevant and just what I need to talk about today. So these episodes are a little bit heavy, heavier, and I, that's not my intention to have it be that way all the time. We're gonna have fun, and we're gonna laugh, and it's gonna be great in the future. But yeah, these ones are a little bit more heavy, so bear with me, but my main goal is to give you Just resources and the things that helped me along the way. And just as an overview for context about why I'm into all these different, physical, spiritual, mental, emotional health Things I feel like I've had some experience with just about all of them. I had a gut issue for like 12 years and did everything did the elimination diets and the supplements and the probiotics and just like researching which ones actually work best and getting to know my body and what it likes and what it doesn't like and I eventually did some frequency healing that actually helped me a ton with that. Grief has been a big thing for me. That's been a big theme in my life, just dealing with grief. I struggled with my weight in high school a lot and that's been a theme. We've had a lot of mental health issues in our family and just things like that where it kind of hits you in the face and you're like, Oh I want to figure out how to handle this in the best way that I know how. So for me, it's been a lot of holistic. Alternative methods just because of the way I. I was raised one, my mom that was kind of her first. Go. To. You know, let's try something natural. And. That's worked out really well for me. And I just, I feel very drawn to things that feel. I feel like they're in alignment with. How our bodies work naturally. And so. That was kind of what I was exposed to first. And that's, what's just resonated as I've gone along and. You know, when that's the first thing. And. It works then you don't really end up trying other things.. So. I was young. When this all started and my. I think it wasn't the. The norm for kids. Kids to get on prescriptions for anxiety, as much as it is now and not. It just wasn't my mom. She wasn't gonna go there unless it was absolutely. Necessary. So. That's just kind of how it naturally went for. Me and that's just continued on. And so I've had all these different. Things, all these, you know, Physical. Mental emotional things come up and I've handled. Then in a more natural way and. And it's just kind. Kind of been working out. I've is there things I've. Asked for. For guidance on from my source. And I feel like I've gotten. Some answers that. That have been. Things have come up. But I wouldn't have. Necessarily chosen before. Like. Most of the time, I feel like I get answers and I'm like really?. This thing, this thing came up, I'm looking into it. It seems a. A little weird, but I'm going to try it. You know, it seems a little. It seems a little out like. Outside of my norm or it's something that I have to kind of. Think outside the box for. And. When I've done that it's been, the reward has been really good. You know, it's been. A solution that. As has just been the answer I was looking for. So anyway, that's kind of why I'm so passionate about all these things. I've just, just had some experience. So anyway, so that's just an overview of my whole, I don't want to give my whole health history on all over the internet. Um, but I just, I've just dealt with a lot of little things throughout my life. So anyway, but the anxiety, that was one that I feel like I've actually been able to overcome Like it doesn't really affect me like it used to. And I think we all get anxiety. Like I think it gets over pathologized sometimes. It's like everyone experiences anxiety. That's perfectly normal human experience. Right. So yeah. So I definitely still experience anxiety. But it's not anything like it was. So Just to give you kind of some background, we lived in the Pacific Northwest growing up. It was beautiful. I would ride my bike around like every day we were homeschooled. It was idyllic. My childhood was just really great. And once we moved to California when I was 14, that's when things just got hard. Life just got hard after that for many reasons, just kind of one thing after the other, but. So my mom got sick when I was 12, which was Washington still, but then we moved and then I just developed this really intense anxiety at about 15, I think is when it probably started. It was my sophomore year of high school. That year was just a living hell for me. It was horrible. I was just in this constant state of fight or flight. And I'm going to go over, uh, some of the symptoms that I had. And so I don't know if a trigger warning is appropriate. I kind of have mixed feelings about those, but just so you know, I'm going to go over some symptoms that I, that I experienced just mainly, because I want people to know if you're experiencing this too, You're not the only one. I, maybe it's a common thing as a teenager to think you're the only one experiencing things, but I just felt like such a like anomaly, It's like no one understands what I'm going through and it made it so hard to talk about it and so I think it's important to just share what we experience because it helps other people know that they're not alone so anyway, I'm just gonna go over some things You that I experienced, kind of the triggers for me for this anxiety and some of the things that were going on in my mind and body. So if you haven't listened to episode one, that'll give you some more context. I don't feel like I need to go back over it all, but essentially I just developed this anxiety. Anytime I had to go to school, I was in this kind of out of body fight or flight. Thing, especially that whole year. It was really scary. Anytime I would travel, especially if it wasn't with my family, but even sometimes with my family, like it was so pervasive, this feeling, and I It was kind of like the situational claustrophobia. That's like the best way I can put it, where If I felt like I was stuck anywhere and in a situation where I couldn't leave, like at school, I was enough of a people pleaser. I didn't want to, upset anyone or get in trouble. And school was so, I had been homeschooled before this. And so I moved to a new state, which was like culture shock. And then we moved to, you know, and then I started going to public school, which was crazy. I had been used to being treated like an adult. By the adults around me, tons of respect. They trusted me. And then you go to public school and you're an inmate, you know, like they treat you like you are suspect all the time. And I was just like, I don't deserve this anyway. So that was really shocking for me and really hard adjustment. So it was really hard for me to sit in these classrooms and feel like I couldn't leave and I had to ask even to go to the bathroom and it's a big to do and that was really stressful for me and it kind of just came out in this like, you know, school was just such a trigger. So, yeah, anywhere that I felt like I was stuck. So, planes, you know, cars, there were so many, so many things, but just basically if I felt like I was out of control, like if I felt like I didn't have control of myself, and where I was, and what I was experiencing, it really triggered me. And the movies. Guys, the movies. My mom loved the movies. She always wanted to go. It was her escape. And I, I, she always be like, go to the movies with me. And I was like, because I love you, I will go to the movies with you. And that just puzzled her so much. But, I'll go into that more later, but the movies were a huge trigger. Anyway, so some of the things that helped me. So in high school, we did end up going to this chiropractor that helped a ton. She was great. She did that NET, it's like an emotional release technique. And she also did cranial sacral therapy, which was awesome. So went to her. And I also, I remember for a little while I was having these racing thoughts. It felt like, you know, when you speed up the, on an audible book or whatever. And it's two times the speed. That's how it felt all the time for like a few weeks. I was experiencing that. And my mom gave me B12 just like sublingual B12 and it totally fixed it. And again, I want to emphasize I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. This is just experiential, take it or leave it. Like definitely not giving advice on this podcast. So anyway, So the B12 really, really helped me with that particular thing. So that was really cool. But the NET helped a ton and there's lots of chiropractors that do that. And it's also there's N is it N E A T and I think that might be slightly different. I'm not sure. But that's what I've seen around lately, and I haven't done that modality in a long time. But I was talking with a friend the other day and she was telling me she went to someone who did, NAET, but that's an allergy elimination. And that was part of what they would do with NET. It was allergy elimination, but they would also do like the emotional component. So, if you're looking for a chiropractor. That does the stuff just check with them and see what they actually do with it because I think Some people delve into different areas great for allergy elimination, too And when you do that, they might give you a diet to go on They might give you supplements for a little while just to like it kind of resets your system and gets things going operating the way that they should be operating. So that really helped me. So when I was a teenager, I just didn't know what, I didn't know what to, how to help myself. It was just survival every day. And so I didn't find as many things that were super, super helpful. Then it was just like exposure therapy where you're just like, okay, I'm just going to go and I'm going to do it. And. That was just what I had to do. But I remember looking at my hands a lot. That would like, just instinctively, if I got into kind of a panic, I would just look at my hands in class and just focus on them and that would help me and I'd try to breathe. I realized that I would hold my breath, which I think is really typical. for people. But looking back, I'm like, Oh, I was instinctively bringing myself back to the present by looking at my hands. And now we just, we're so much more aware now about all of this. You know, there are still say, notice five things you can see, four things you can hear. Three things you can feel. Two things you can smell. One thing you'd taste. Something like that. To just help you get in tune with your senses and bring you back to the present. And I'm like, oh, I was totally just trying to get myself into the present because it was, it was rough. So, anyway so that was high school and like I said before, I started going to this practitioner a lot more when I was about to go to college. Cause I was kind of like, I don't, I, I'm struggling. Like if I have to drive anywhere, if I, you know, there were just things that were really difficult for me that seemed really basic and and being away from home was that was scary. So anyway, I went to college. It went really well, honestly. I did have my siblings around and that was helpful and just to feel safe. And I mostly just, I mostly just tried things, baby steps, just did what I felt comfortable doing, but it was hard because I really, I didn't really work throughout college because I It was too, I was so full of anxiety, which is so sad, but it was also hard to find a job in Rexburg, Idaho. So I was there for three years and I mostly just tried to do like baby step things where I. Could do the things that made me nervous in a safe way. And build up that confidence. That was really, that's been like the main thing as far as just getting over that on my own. But I did pretty good my first three years of college. So after my first three years, I transferred schools and when I, between the transfers, so I started college in 07 and then I transferred in 2010. So. 08 hit my family really hard, and we lost our house my dad lost his job, it was really bad for like at least two years so I ended up transferring schools in 2010 ish, so I went home between that time, I think I had finished up in the winter and then I had, or like the end of fall semester and then I had the winter, where I spent that at home. California, but we didn't have a home anymore. We, our house was gone. So, I stayed with my parents. They were, they had found a place to rent and it was just a very transitory time. My mom was not doing great. She was okay, but she wasn't doing amazing. And Anyway, so it was a very stressful time and I don't know if relapsed is the right word or what, but I just, I got into this very dark place where it was just super, super stressful and full of anxiety and I was outside of my normal routine and You know, you kind of get comfortable, and then you feel safe, and I everything was just up in the air. Like, everything. Looking back, and like, whoa. I can see why this happened. But, between our living situation, my mom's health, my dad's job, me switching schools, you know, it was just a lot. So, Anyway, so I just became very full of anxiety at this time, and it was probably the worst that it had ever been. There was a point where we lived by a bay, and it got really foggy one time, like for a week or two. It was just dense, dense fog, and that really affected me, like, we lived in the Pacific Northwest growing up and it never bothered me. As a child, you just don't really. The weather just doesn't bother you as much and I don't feel like I get seasonal depression or anxiety terribly bad but this situation just, this thick fog came through where you just couldn't see anything and it just put me in this really dark, dark place and I didn't know how to get out of it and I, I'm pretty I'm a pretty grounded reasonable person, and I don't, for as much as I've gotten into all these alternative therapies, it's taken me a long time to warm up to each one and make sure that it's not wacky, you know? So and my mom was really open minded about stuff and just would try all kinds of things and I was kind of like, skeptical. So at this point, I was in such a bad place and even just leaving the house, even with my mom, was difficult. And so she recommended this book and it's called the healing code by Alexander Lloyd. And that book was so helpful. It's kind of a, it's a great beginner's guide to. To energy healing. And they, Just explain things really, really well, especially if you need kind of a scientific perspective. Perspective. So they mentioned the heart math Institute. who. They do these really cool studies about the electromagnetic fields around our heart. And our brain. And how that affects us and how that affects the people. Around us. So. I think we think of the brain as being the. Kind of. Electric. Organ, you know, But the heart. Is actually way more powerful than the brain, as far as that goes. So. So the. Electrical amplitude of your heart is about 60 times greater than the brain. And. The magnetic strength is a hundred times greater than the brain. And these. Fields go out. Six feet away from your body. And this is something that can measure and. And they've done all these studies about the emotions that. You put out. And how they effect. Those around you and they've done other, I've heard other kind of complimentary studies. With other. Organizations that talk about how. How basically like the feelings you're putting out are gonna they're kind of Contagious, you know, So it's really, really cool. Cool. I just really, I loved it cause. It makes. Makes it all make sense. So. Anyway. So why. Why does that matter? So when you're. When you're. Aware. Aware that you're putting out, like the emotions that you're putting out are affecting. Your body on an, on kind of an electromagnetic level, like a cellular level, and they're affecting the people around you. It's really empowering and So this book kind of just teaches you to harness that and. Help yourself heal with intention and affirmations. And so there's all these little affirmations in the back of the book. There's. Kind of a list and there's a whole process. You go through. This is just really intentional and. Really helpful. to. It's really rewiring. Your neural pathways is what it's doing. That's why affirmations. Can be really helpful if you do it right. So. So anyway. I used that book and it just, it really, really. It pulled me out, pulled me out of that space when. When nothing else really. Could. And it's nice.'cause I, you don't need to go to a practitioner. It's just like something I could do. At home every single day, be consistent. And help myself. Change kind of from the inside out. So highly, highly recommend that book.. I also went to my chiropractor at that time and she was able to help a lot. So, As I've gone forward in my life and I transferred schools and everything, everything was okay. Like once I got settled, everything was, was okay. And I feel like I just progressed by leaps and bounds after that. So thankfully, um, so I feel like shifting, if you can just shift things. And I knew I knew when I was younger, when I was in high school, I was like, if I could just forget how this feels, I'd be fine. You know, it's like, it's all, it's kind of in your head and it's kind of, you know, it's not rational. But I remember my mom telling me, and this really helped me when I was younger. In any given moment you're okay. And it was like, Oh, you're right. I am okay. Like technically I'm not going to die. No one's coming after me. There's nothing really wrong. I'm okay. And just keeping that in mind was a really helpful little mantra, but going forward in life, I, man, I just learned a lot more about myself and. I realized that I am really energetically spiritually sensitive. I'm very empathic. I'm very tuned into everyone around me. And that was a huge contributor as well. I did not realize the feeling that I was feeling. It's very, this like you're up in your head kind of feeling. And I learned more about the chakra system which is an energetic system in your body that they, it's. Something that's pretty widely known but I realized my energy was up in my upper chakras all the time, which sound like, what does that even mean? Right. But it's a very like, heady, like, So you know, that dropping feeling when you're on a rollercoaster on a plane, when the turbulence happens, it's that feeling. It's that like, everything goes up. And I was living in that feeling constantly. And so learning how to bring my energy down, like breathing and just imagining pulling everything down to my root, which is around like the base of your spine, like coccyx sacrum area. That has been a game changer for me. So just understanding that I the upper chakras are, they're your spiritual centers and they connect you to the divine. And that's great. But when you're constantly up there, it's a little out of body. Like it's not ideal for living in this world. So learning how to ground myself and bring that energy down and just, Calm myself down has been huge. And it's mostly just through breathing and visualization that I do that. But just also recognizing that I am sensitive, I'm a highly sensitive person, it has been so helpful. And I just hadn't really made that connection that the two were so related. And that's why the movies bothered me so much because they are. I was, it's, when I go to the movies, it's so immersive at the screen, so big and it's black and you're just sucked in to this story that's going on. And it was, it's really hard for me to separate my experience from what's happening on the screen. So I would go to the movies and if we're watching. A super stressful spy movie. I just lived the life of a super stressed out spy or, I remember watching the time traveler's wife and it, I just got out of the theater and sobbed. Cause I had just been through like, you know, the whiplash of going through time, you know, it's just like, I, it just, it's so hard for me to tune out of that and be like, okay, I'm just me. I'm an individual having my own experience and I'm observing theirs. I don't have to be. a hundred percent feeling everything that they're feeling So it was just, it's just kinda, it's interesting. So I still kind of struggle with that a little bit. Like IMAX theaters, I don't love but I do so much better now. And it's, I have so many tools that help me, but so that along with the healers blueprint is the modality that I learned that I talked about in the last. In the last episode and that's the emotional release healing modality. That has helped me more than just about anything. And it's helped me, learning it has helped me understand myself better. And it, just knowing how to release that, all the things that aren't mine that I'm absorbing, or the things that are affecting me. Just understanding how all of that works has helped me so, so much. But also, flying was a big thing. That's kind of one of the things that like, was left over after, you know, day to day doesn't bother me anymore. But, sometimes traveling or flying would really trigger me. And I think it's just, it's the ungrounded feeling again. So, um, Learning how to ground myself was huge for that. But also I ended up doing some hypnotherapy for just flying. I was going on a trip across the country that I wanted to enjoy. And it was like, I'm not, I'm gonna, I'm not going to let fear, you know, you just, when you live in this place of being ruled by fear, it's just, it gets old and I was like, I'm sick of this. I'm going to go try some hypnotherapy. And that was insanely effective. I probably did two or three sessions with this woman and it helped. I did not realize I had a fear of heights as much as I did. And once we got rid of that, that helped so much. But the hypnotherapy, the way she explained it, she's like, it just takes the charge out, takes the charge at all these experiences where you like, you have this big reaction. It just takes it out. And it does. It's really cool. So it's so empowering to just, it's just, Realize that there are these tools that can help you just take back your life And you don't have to be ruled by fear and anxiety anymore. Guys, it's so This is why I wanted to share this. I know I mean, you're here, you know, you know we're going to be talking about things that are outside the box. So I'm just sharing it all with you and hopefully, hopefully it helps. But yeah, the hypnotherapy was amazingly helpful. And the lady I go to is she's in Springville, Utah. And she's, she does, she's a little hippie. She does like the crystals and stuff, which I'm fine with. I like her approach. I think it's great. It's been helpful, but there's so many different ways to do hypnotherapy. So find the one that works for you if you want to try that., and another thing well, two more things I'll talk on about this. Being conscious of not making anxiety, my identity was a big thing for me. That's one of the, it was kind of a double edged sword because I, and part of this was fear I was afraid to talk about it because I felt like it made it worse if I talked about it. And that was kind of true, but also not because the more I could talk about it and face it, the more I can get help and understand it and not let it control me. But I also didn't want, I didn't want that to be my identifier. I didn't want that to be like, Oh, Kristen has anxiety. And that's who she is. And I knew that from the time it started. That I just, I didn't want that to be who I was. And I rejected it. And, I think that was good. But I've been really conscious about that. Like, I don't ever say I have anxiety. I don't have anxiety. I experience it every now and then. But, That was a big thing for me, just making sure it's not my identity and I'm not taking that in. And I also realized I realized like I would get, you kind of get messaging or you get like voices or not voices, like in a, you know, psychotic way or something, but you, get messages that are, being repeated in your head about you or what you're experiencing that are not helpful. They're not, they don't come from light, you know, and recognizing that I don't have to play those in my head and kind of calling it out and saying, Hmm, no, I'm going to send that along its way and replace it with what I do need. And asking, this is where my, the spirituality comes in, like asking God to send me. angels and send the right messaging and think about what I do need right now and just asking for calm and peace and feelings of being in control and like confidence and no big deal and focusing on that is so empowering and it was so helpful and it's been so helpful and anytime Any time that comes up, I'm, I can call out the lies, and that is huge. Recognizing that you can call out the lies that are coming up. Is one of the most empowering things you can do for your mental health, in my opinion. So it, I just, I feel like now I can recognize that that's not me and that's not part of who I am and I can just call it out and say, no, we're not going to play into that because this is a choice and I'm choosing to feel calm and empowered and confident in my life. And I'm just not going to play that game. So those are kind of the things that have helped me to feel empowered about my mental health and and really heal from any anxiety that I felt and if you want more information about any of those modalities, I am happy to talk about it. I, you can, if you see this on Instagram, send me a DM. On my Sakalya Massage page. You can also, I think if you want to send me an email or something, if you don't know me, just send me a text if you know me. If you don't know me, you can send an email to Kristen, K R I S T E N at sakalyamassage, S A K A L Y A. M A S S A G E S,, er, G E, I'm not good at spelling out loud, dot com. And, yeah, just send me a message there if you want more information or where to go. Maybe I'll put some links in the show notes or whatever. But, just, happy to give you any information that might be helpful. And Just wishing you the best on your, on your journey through healing. As cheesy as that sounds, right? But I just want you guys to, to succeed and do well and know that you can, you can overcome the things that are weighing you down. There's, I feel like there's almost always a solution. There's always some kind of solution. So I hope that you can take that with you today and the rest of your week. Thank you so much for listening. If you are enjoying Wholly Empowered, share it with that friend or on your socials, you can also hit the follow button if you want to keep up with the latest episodes. Until next time, stay empowered.