Break the Stigma

What keeps us silent about our mental health—and who taught us that silence equals strength?

In this episode of Reaching Minds, we unpack the stigma surrounding therapy in minority communities and the unspoken rules that keep so many from seeking support. From family expectations to generational patterns, we explore how these narratives are formed—and more importantly, how they can be challenged.

This conversation is about unlearning shame, reclaiming vulnerability, and recognizing that healing is not weakness—it’s power. Whether you’ve considered therapy, resisted it, or are just beginning to question what healing could look like for you, this episode meets you where you are.

It’s time to break the stigma. It’s time to create new narratives.

Follow us on Instagram @reachingminds for more conversations, resources, and real stories that reflect, redefine, and restore.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hey everybody, welcome, welcome back. It's your girl Brianna Williams, LAPC, and I'm glad you're here. If you haven't yet, go ahead and follow um Reaching Minds on Instagram at Reach Your Minds. It's that simple. Just type it in at Reach Your Minds. Go ahead, do it now. Alright, cool. I'm glad you followed us. Um so listen, I'm back with another mini series. Um, and I hope you guys are ready because I have some fun stuff planned uh to talk about uh this time around. If you are just getting with me, I had a first mini series on how to therapy. So just talking about the process, talking about you know what that entails and and how to go about it and what therapy even looks like. So go ahead, check it out, YouTube and other streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple, Podcast. Go ahead and check it out, leave some comments, DM me on Instagram, share it, all the things so we can keep the conversation going. Alright. But uh, today I got a confession to make. Um, I'm black, right? And I go to therapy. That's my confession right there. I'm black and I go to therapy. Um, if you didn't notice the title, right, we're talking about stigmas today. And one of the things that I noticed that like over the years that uh especially like after COVID, it's become it's become a little bit more common for minorities to seek out uh professional help, but there is still some stigma attached uh to minorities in mental health when we think about it. Um and a lot of times it's like you know, we just don't do that. Like that's that's not what we do. Like, um, or it's like, you know what, I think, you know, you know, other people, they got more pressing problems than us. Like, we we we cool, we cool over here. Um, or we're like, you know what, like, you know, that's why I got auntie and them. That's why I got my mom, that's why I got bestie. Like, you know, I call them up, like I can talk to them, like that's cool, that's it. Right. And you probably said some of these things. You probably listen in and like, yeah, you know, like I I agree with those stigmas, I agree with those phrases and stuff like that. Um, and I gotta admit, like, even as a therapist, I made these same statements as well. So ain't no judgment passing anybody, but I had to learn that like these things are a part of uh a part of our culture, a part of our our race, a part of what we believe to be true, and this is what a stigma is. Um, if you don't know me, I'm I'm big on let me look this definition up. Let's get some actual wording here. And so I looked up stigma, right? And stigma is it's a set of negative and unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something. It is a mark of shame or discredit. Hmm. I think that really fits therapy in a nutshell for us, right? It's it's it's shameful, right? And um, and I imagine, right, when I was thinking about like why is this such a big deal? Like, why is this such a stigma for us? Why is there so much shame associated with therapy for us? And I thought of two things that came to mind, and I'm gonna break them down today. And those two things are are the couch, right, and a box of tissues. And you probably like as soon as you heard me say the couch and a box of tissues, like your mind probably went there, right? Because how many times on TV, anytime we see therapy, right? We see the person laying on the couch, they feed up, you know, they saying, Yo, doc, and da-da-da-da. They spilling all their problems, and then you see the person, you know, blowing their nose all hard, sobbing and stuff, right? Right, we we saw that. Every, every I guarantee you, I put 99.9% of the time, that's how we see therapy being portrayed on um on TV and in media. Now, I meant that like if you're going to person if you're going to in-person therapy, because I know we have telehealth now, right? So it's different. Sometimes we in our car, sometimes we be at the barbershop. I had some people at the nail sign, whatever, right? I mean, you should be in a in a personal space, but anyway, that's a different conversation. Um, if you're going to in-person therapy, you often go and see a couch or a comfortable chair, right? And you go and definitely see a box of tissues, right? But let me break down like how we as minorities, as black people, as as who we are, how we see the couch in the box of tissues, right? Because for us, these are not just things, these are not just uh uh something in the room, right? But these actually signify some things for us that we as a culture uh struggle with, I believe. And so let me break it down, right? Imagine a couch, right? For me, when I think about a couch, a couch signifies rest. Um, it's a place where you know we can binge our favorite show, uh, we can take a nap, you know, we put our feet up, we grab some snacks, we spend time with the family, like it's it's it's it's a place where we just we just chillin', right? And as black people, right, it's in the minorities, it's not often that we choose rest. A matter of fact, you know what? It's not often that we choose rest guilt-free. We're often taught as a as a culture that rest is not productive, rest is not productivity. We're taught that, you know, we gotta be on the ground, we gotta be hustling, we gotta be ahead of the game. Um, and then we know that we know that famous saying of like, you know, you can sleep when you dead. You got a whole lot of time to rest. Like, you could do that when you dead. Let me ask you this. Let me let me let me put it in into some some perspective that you might be familiar with. How many times growing up, even if you you a kid now listening to this podcast, how many times did your parents see you sitting down, right, and make you go clean something or do or just do something just because? Because you chilling too hard. How many times, right, did you feel bad for being in the house all day and not doing a chore? Not doing a chore or something productive? That was that was me last week, y'all. How many times, right, did you feel that you didn't earn the rest? What you tired for? What you resting for? I didn't I didn't do all the things I wanted to do, so I can't rest yet. But today, right, on this platform, no matter what day you listening to it, or maybe listen to it at night right now, right? Right now in this moment, right? I wanna give you permission to rest. Let that let that seep in. I give you permission to let go of the thought that rest is not productive. We breaking stigmas, y'all. We breaking stigmas. You can rest. You can rest. And so here we go with the box of tissues, right? Our famous box of tissues, right? Remember, remember the scene. Let's let's let's let's imagine in our heads, let's play it back, right? We see the heart blow of the nose, right? We see the puddle of uncomfortable tears, right? They just got broken up with, or this just happened, or they got uh they failed a test, or they they mom told them this, right? And and we looking at this person, we like, yo, yo, they tripping, like it ain't even that deep. Like, I can never, like, they doing all this, ain't that embarrassing? Like, we judging them hard, right? Or we laughing, right? We laughing, right? And this and this makes sense because our culture, we have deemed emotions as weak. Right? It's it's not, it's not right, it's not normal, right? That's in like what you crying for, right? Or or you know, stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about. Like you just gave me something to cry about, that's why I'm crying. You you you just you just beat me, and so I'm gonna cry because it hurt. Or I'm crying because I'm embarrassed, or I'm crying because I'm sad, or I'm crying because I know I shouldn't have done that thing, or I'm I'm crying because I'm frustrated and I'm angry. I'm I'm crying because I I just don't have the words, or I'm crying because get the feelings will out, right? And quick plug right here. If you don't know what a feelings will is, Google that, John, right? I'm from Philly, John. Google feelings will, and then I want you to keep that on your phone, and so anytime where you're trying to get your feelings out, you're trying to understand what you're feeling, go ahead and look at that, pick something out, pick something out to help you express what you're going through, right? Because that's something that we we weren't taught, right? And especially for our our our black boys or our minority boys, right? Is stop crying, you're a boy. Stop all that, you know, pick yourself up, fix your face, stop being so sensitive, right? We we start saying all these things because that's what something that we were we were taught, and we just passed it down, right? I I've even said those things. I'm even still trying to catch myself in those times where I do go back to those stigmas, where I do go back to those sayings, where I do go back to this is how our culture raised us. So it was doing something right. I turned out good, my brothers turned out good, my uncle turned out good, my my mom's still here. Like, you know, we start to say, you know, well, they made it through, that's how they made it through, so we gotta keep it going. But all this did was teach us how to suppress and store our feelings, which is why we're dying from heart attacks, which is why we have high blood pressure, and it's not the sole reason why, you know, why some of these things, right? But um, but we haven't ulcers and different medical issues because of suppressed feelings, because we never learned that it was okay. We never had a space that said, though such and such happened to you three years ago, or though you lost this and such person, you can still cry, you can still have your feelings, you can still go through, right? Matter of fact, you can go through. I don't think that's something that our culture does a good job of teaching. We we teach how to mask, we teach how to just get by and just how uh to perform and to just check boxes and do what we gotta do. But as I was thinking, and as I was like really just trying to dig about like why do we have stigmas? Like, we what is going on here? And the biggest thing I realized about stigma is that stigma, stigma it comes from our ignorance. Like, how many people have said all these things that I just talked about? Um and and how many people that passed all these stigmas actually actually went to therapy? Like, I bet you my mom didn't go to therapy. Like, I I I bet you I I I guarantee you like Pop pop don't don't even know don't even know where the therapy office is. Like, I I bet you like Auntie got so many things going on in her life and she never sat down and talked about it with any with anyone. Like, all these people that have passed on these things, like and even in my personal personal life, people that have told me things about you know going to therapy that we don't do that, they haven't done it themselves. And I used to be one of them people too. Because I was just I was just saying what people have said to me, like, oh, that's just something that we don't do, but I don't even know what it is. I don't even know what it is. How many have actually even accepted that they have challenges mentally? We got a lot of undiagnosed minorities walking around, and I promise you, I'm gonna do something with that title, Undiagnosed Minorities. But back to the to the topic at hand, like we got so many people walking around with um undiagnosed and untreated depression, anxiety, autism, um bipolar disorder, um, borderline personality disorder, uh, post-traumatic stress disorder. We got so many people walking around with these things because I can still function, I can still do what I gotta do, I can still go to work and make my money, I can still provide for my kids, I can still cook, I don't look like it, so I'm I'm cool, right? All these different things, but if we really look at it, those things are showing up in how we even teach our children. These things are showing up in how we interact with others, these things are showing up in how we're losing so many jobs and we're going back and forth with different jobs, or we're getting uh kicked out of apartments and having to find different places. We're we're bad we're managing our money, uh, all these different things. Like our challenges are showing up in other spaces. Maybe look like we're floating by, but they're they're showing up. And it's our job to learn about these things, it's our job uh to really address you know what is actually going on with me, and not just the surface, right? Not just, you know, going to the doctors and going to church and and whatever else you do, right? But it is okay to go to therapy, it is okay to really sit down with your thoughts and understand them and understand why you think this way, why you behave this way, why you operate like this. It's okay, y'all. It's okay, y'all. We can break this stigma. We don't gotta do it for the culture. Cause doing it for the culture ain't doing nothing for us. Doing it for the culture is is really it's really holding us back, y'all. We're trying to stay faithful to something that that really ain't serving us in in the best way. And then not just us, but generations and generations and generations and generations, right? This just ain't hop happened. This just didn't happen overnight. But uh this stigma comes from generations of generations of generations saying these things, and then us repeating those things, and then our kids repeating this their things, and then our children's children repeating these things, right? But we can stop that and how we stop that is getting educated, how we stop that is actually trying things out before before we say, Oh no, we just don't do that, or no, that don't work. Right? You know that's saying don't knock it till you try it. It's real, it's real and so instead of uh instead of passing down uh opinions or or fear or stigmas let's pass down facts. Let's pass down facts. So do your research. You know, you don't gotta just listen to me, right? Because I got the mic or because you know you tuned in, or because you know I got some letters behind my name or I got a degree, right? You don't gotta listen to me. I don't know why that precious uh thing just came in my head. Think you got your degree, think you know everything, right? But no, I don't know everything, right? And so it is your job to go ahead and educate yourself, right? It's your job to go ahead and experience it. And if you still like nah, I don't want to do that, Brie, let's stop passing down the stigmas by telling other people not to do that just because we won't do it. Let's stop judging them for getting the help that they feel like they need to overcome whatever they're going through. Alright. So that brings us to the end, y'all. I thank y'all for tuning in. Remember to go follow Reaching Minds on Instagram. I'll see y'all soon. Aye bye.