You Keep Me Sane
For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.
They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.
In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.
Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.
You Keep Me Sane
Boundaries Vs Belonging : When Self-Worth Shapes Our Relationships
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Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?
We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.
Key Discussion Points
- Why the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independence
- How many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeable
- The link between self-worth and boundary-setting
- How carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worth
- The difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené Brown
Listener Takeaways
- Boundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirection
- Saying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourself
- Belonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at all
- When self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerful
- You don’t need to earn your place; you already belong
Join the Conversation
We love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do?
Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.
And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.
Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.
Links:
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
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- Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
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Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
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Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.