You Keep Me Sane
For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.
They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.
In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.
Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.
You Keep Me Sane
The Day You Realise You Don't Need To Be Chosen Anymore
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Episode Overview
This week, we explore the need to be chosen — at work, in friendships, in love, and in family roles. For years, being picked can feel like proof of worth… and not being picked can quietly unravel us. We unpack how midlife starts to loosen that wiring, and how the shift from “please choose me” to “I choose me” changes everything.
Key Discussion Points
- Aileen notices she no longer needs praise or an invitation to feel valuable
- Julie reflects on how fear of rejection shaped her choices for years
- How “shape-shifting” shows up in friendships, family roles and people-pleasing
- The romantic reframe: not “Do they want me?” but “Do I choose them?”
- How to spot when you’re still living in “please choose me” mode
Listener Takeaways
- Being chosen isn’t proof of worth - and not being chosen isn’t proof you’re lacking
- Fear of judgement can be just as exhausting as chasing validation
- Midlife often brings clarity: you stop auditioning and start choosing
- You can care deeply without over-explaining, over-giving, or over-performing
- Self-worth grows when you trust your own choice, not someone else’s approval
Links:
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
- Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
- Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
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Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
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Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.