You Keep Me Sane
For 10 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.
They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.
In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.
Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.
You Keep Me Sane
The Difference Between Who You Are and How You React Under Stress
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Episode Overview
Have you ever caught yourself snapping, shutting down, feeling flat, or reacting in a way that doesn’t feel like you?
In this episode, we talk about how stress can make us feel like we’ve become a different person - less patient, less warm, less fun, more defensive, more resentful, or simply unable to enjoy things we usually would.
We explore the difference between someone’s personality and their stress response, especially when life has been stretching them for too long.
This isn’t about excusing hurtful behaviour. Boundaries matter. Repair matters. But there’s a big difference between saying, “I’m a horrible person,” and saying, “I’m overloaded, and this is coming out sideways.”
Key Discussion Points
- How stress can make ordinary questions, plans, or requests feel like one demand too many.
- Why overwhelm can change our tone, patience, humour, warmth, and ability to enjoy good things.
- The difference between someone’s core character and how they behave when they’re anxious, overloaded, or dysregulated.
- How shame turns stress into self-attack — especially when we start asking, “Why can’t I cope?” instead of “What am I carrying?”
Listener Takeaways
- The stressed version of you isn’t the whole of who you are.
- Feeling snappy, flat, defensive, or withdrawn may be a sign your nervous system has been under pressure for too long.
- Repair is more useful than shame. You can own your behaviour without turning it into your identity.
- When we understand our own stress response, it can help us respond with more compassion to our children, partners, friends, and ourselves.
Mentioned in This Episode
If this conversation speaks to something deeper around self-worth, boundaries, shame, people-pleasing, or feeling like you’re never enough, we’ll pop the link to Enough in the show notes.
It’s our self-worth guide and a simple place to start untangling some of these patterns.
Join the Conversation
Have you noticed stress changing the way you show up?
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought, “This isn’t me”?
Or have you seen someone you love become almost unrecognisable when they’re overwhelmed?
We’d love to hear your thoughts. Send us a DM, leave us a voice note, or come and continue the conversation with us on Instagram.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
- Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
- Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
- Email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com
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Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
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Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.