Episode 21: Social Rules Nobody Agrees On | Texting, Tipping, Group Chats & Awkward Moments

Who made the rules for texting, tipping, group chats, and everyday social behavior… and why does it feel like they keep changing?

In this episode of Out Loud with Rob and Rachel, we dive into the unspoken social rules we all deal with but never fully understand. From response times and emoji drama to tipping culture, group chat chaos, and awkward real-life moments, this conversation gets real, relatable, and a little bit hilarious.

We break down what’s considered “normal,” what’s actually annoying, and what people are just pretending to agree on.

If you’ve ever wondered:

•  How long is too long to respond to a text? 
•  Is the thumbs-up emoji actually rude now? 
•  Should you always bring something when invited somewhere? 
•  Is it okay to leave a group chat? 
•  When does tipping go too far? 

This episode is for you.

🎙️ Expect honest takes, relatable stories, and the kind of conversations everyone has… just not out loud.

👉 Available on all major platforms
Watch the full video version or listen on your favorite podcast app.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Out Loud with Rob and Rachel. This is what happens when two ADHD brains come together and think out loud.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in to the Out Loud podcast with Rob and Rachel. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Hi, everyone. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

All right. Rachel, I s Rachel came in and I said, you know, you seem a little tired, and she was like a three-year-old. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

I'm not tired. You're obviously tired, a little beat up.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

There's a there is some truth to educators when spring break comes that you need, you need a break, man. You need a break. And it's been, you know, with the weather up and down, and it's freezing and it's hot and it's freezing and it's hot. I need a break.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

And but you were like my son's sweater, like.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

I was angry that you said that because it's like when you're walking into the classroom and the kids say to you, Are you tired?

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

It's like, do I look tired? I guess I look tired.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

I'm sorry. I look tired.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

I felt that I had known you long enough where you could. It wasn't offensive. Right, right, right. It wouldn't be something I said if I didn't know you were.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Well, and I reacted like your kids so clearly were comfortable enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, she got a little grouchy.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

I am dragging ass. I will admit it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

She's going away though. So I am. So that's I'm very excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

And I'll come back refreshed.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

You're probably forgetting that you're going away a little bit because you got so much to do. That's why it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

It's it is very I I do have so and you know what I this week, for some reason, I kept thinking it was a day later than it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All week.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

So like Monday I thought it was Tuesday, and then I was like, okay, I oh my god, I have so much to do, and I have less, and then I would be like, okay. And now see, again, this morning I woke up and I was like, oh, it's not Saturday, but I'm off, so in my head it's Saturday. So then I'm like, I only have one day, you know. Right. It yeah, it's the rat race. I mean, you know, it's the rat race, it never ends. Never ends. Never. But in the spirit of the rat race, in the spirit of life, right, and just life in general, we thought that we would do an episode today that focused on social rules. Who made the rules? We don't know. I mean, and are they really rules? Like, is there a rule book?

SPEAKER_03 2:11

No.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

There's no rule book. But there are things that, you know, are those like unspoken rules that are expected. And then Rob's gonna ask some things about breaking a lot of those rules.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Breaking them or more like social mishaps.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Okay, so like not on purpose breaking them. Right, right. But then you realize unintentional screw-ups and then how to handle them. Right. Well, that's fine. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

I think there's some still. Yeah, like the wave, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

You already talked about the wave. Yeah, yeah. You guys, if you want to see the wave, re listen to the last episode we talked about the wave. It was very funny. All right, so we're gonna start with texting rules, okay? So, you know, texting is like everybody's extension. You know, it's the extension of your hand. You can't you can't leave your phone home for three seconds, and uh, you know, you because you're attached to your phone all the time, people think that the response should come right instantaneously, right? Right. So, how long is too long not to respond?

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Depends who it is, of course.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Okay, but valid point.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah, valid point. I would say an hour and like 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Ooh, that's good. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, it does depend, and I think it depends on the topic also. Like, if there's well, I don't know, then I'm backtracking because then I'm thinking if you have if you need time, maybe you text the person, hey, give me a little while, I'm busy, or um, I'm not at my calendar, or like something like that. So maybe you you text to let them know that you got the text, right? But you need some time to focus on it, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Like that's a response.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Can't acknowledge right now.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Yeah, so I I have to be careful a lot because I'm pretty responsive. So when I'm not responsive, I think it annoys me too. So it that's why it kind of depends who it is.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

I think that for me, that's why I say like I would respond to them because I need to respond, but sometimes I can't fully answer the question or engage in the conversation in the moment, but I don't want to leave them hanging.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Right. But if you're teaching you can't answer something, then I don't answer. An hour and 15 minutes usually enough time.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Yeah, I would say that's probably a good gauge as to when I look at my phone.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Under two, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

I also think, don't you think there are certain areas where people should know that you're not near your phone?

SPEAKER_01 4:31

Yeah, exactly. Right? Like certain pathetics are texting you.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Yeah. If you're at work and you're, you know, a surgeon, I mean, they're not texting you uh when they know that you have a full day of surgery.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Like so, I guess they would expect that you're not texting them for like seven hours back. All right. Ooh, the K. Is it aggressive or not aggressive?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, so that's that's a good one because the the Gen Z thinks the thumb up emoji is aggressive. Did you know that? I didn't know that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

I don't think the thumbs up emoji is aggressive at all. I mean, when I do it, I just like the middle finger. Like you're thumbing them off?

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah, like they just they just think it's it's short, and I guess they like the love emoji here. I'll while while we talk about it, I'm gonna think about it.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

That I'm sorry to anybody who that I've given the thumbs up emoji to, and you think I'm flipping you the bird.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Does Gen Z think thumbs up emoji is rude? Let's see. Let's see if it's a oh that's a problem.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

This is uh Gemini saying it. AI. Yes, many in Gen Z view the thumbs up emoji as passive, aggressive, hostile, or dismissive, particularly in professional workplace communication. It is often interpreted as an old way of communicating that feels dismissive rather than affirmative, leading many younger users to prefer more expression emoji than plain text. Then it goes on and on. Expression emoji. Yeah, like happy, laughing out loud.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

I gotta send you a face.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Or I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Instead of a thumbs up?

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Yeah, some Gen Zers report feeling attacked or that a colleague is unhappy with them when receiving a thumbs up in chat apps like Slack or Twitter.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

I really think that might cross the line. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

No, this is a big thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Like it's crossing the line. It's crossing the line. I can't.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Yeah, rather than a simple okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

I don't think that I can accept that.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

It's a real cold.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

I can accept a lot of social changes, a lot of them.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

But they're not even saying it's rude, they're saying it's downright next.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

I know. I don't see, I don't understand how that translated from just a simple, like, sure, no problem, being the only response, right? Wasn't it? Didn't it used to be only thumbs up and thumbs down, and then they put the heart, and then I mean, right? Like the initial like reactions were only a thumbs up and a thumbs down. So when did that become rude?

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

I I got like what is that about?

SPEAKER_01 7:06

This is worth going through. So okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

I don't know. I'm angry right now. You woke me up right now.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

You're angry, you're gonna get angry at it. I want to keep the anger. All right. Anger is a gift. Red heart, considered too intense or formal. The okay sign can be perceived as awkward or in some context offensive.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

The okay or the K?

SPEAKER_01 7:28

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Okay, like well, isn't that like a Oh no, no, that's something that It's like Q on or something, isn't it? No. Oh I was thinking like sexual.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

I wasn't thinking conspiracy theorists. Like or don't like kids always say, hey, yeah, like don't no, I think that's something uh something.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

I think that's something bad. Oh yeah, I don't know. That's okay. Uh a slightly smiley face. What do you think that would be?

SPEAKER_02 8:01

What does that mean? Slightly smiley face. The meh emoji? No, that's the meh emoji.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

The little happy, the little happy one.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

I mean, uh okay. That I would think is okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

All been viewed as condescending or performance. How about the monkey monkey covering the eyes?

SPEAKER_02 8:21

I'm embarrassed.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah, it's considered dated or irrelevant in in modern ironic or dry communication style. So that's the that's the thing. But as far as K, to go back to your question.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

I have a very big problem with some of them. Like, really. Like I really don't understand how the thumbs up can be offensive.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

The thumbs ups is actually a big one.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

And where are these rules? Like, how do I know if I piss someone off? But okay, like until you said that, I didn't know that. And then I've been thumbing up all people all over the place. So have I been pissing people off and didn't know it.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Gen Z for sure. You should ask your girls that. I'll ask my sons that.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Do I I mean do I really have well, I mean, I don't throw it out.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

No, no, but you should just ask them what is it. I'm curious.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

I'm gonna look in my my texts with my kids to see if I thumbs up or if they do.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah, they have it. Heart. This is like a whole thing. I mean, there's videos, there's just long photos.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Is that why the heart is pink and not red? Do you think? Oh, maybe so far I'm pretty far up, and there's no thumbs up in the just the crying with laughter emoji.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Yeah, the k the K is just lazy.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Nope. Nope. I just saw one. There was a thumbs up. I think it was me. See? I'm gonna ask her. Because they're Gen Z, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:42

I know.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

I mean, I never thought it was anything.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

I think the K is just lazy. Very lazy.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

What about KK?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

KK. Be careful with that one.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Why? Oh. Yeah, but not everybody's.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

No, I never got a KK in my life.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

No? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Alright, ready? So those were the texting ones. Now I'm going to. You hate group chats also. Yeah, I just I can't I just despise them. I despise them. But is leaving a group chat dramatic or necessary? That that's I've left many a group chat. Did you?

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Many. Wow. Listen, if you got too much pride.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Well, what if it's an event? What if you were invited to an event? There's 15 people on it. You can't go.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

That's different.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Do you want every single correspondence about that event in from now until what if it's like a concert that's in June and it's now April and they're gonna talk about where they're going out for dinner? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

You leave that. You leave that. You leave. That's all good. There's no need. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

I leave those.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah, they should actually start a new one once they realize. They really should, but they don't always.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Sometimes they do, but they don't. I mean, and I get it. Like, that's why you leave. Yeah. Because then to uh to keep track of who I mean I I get it. It's easier for somebody to.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

I wonder who groups chat more, guys or women.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Ooh, Google that one.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Let me Google that one. Let me Google that. Let's see.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

That's a very good question.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

What do you think of it?

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Women. Actually.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

I don't know. Guys are very like dopey with that though.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

That's a very interesting question. I'm really curious. Is it okay never to respond to a group chat?

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

To just be a voyeur, a group chat voyeur.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope so.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Jason, we didn't know that the thumbs up was bad. You're screwed today.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

All right. Here's a group chat. It's a little raunchy, but alright.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

I can't even see.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

I know, but but look to see if I'm how many times I've responded. None days and weeks.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

How many people are in that?

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Like seven.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Does anybody expect you to does anybody ever acknowledge you? Oh my God. Wait, wait, you saw that you passed you.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Yep. You guys know, oh yeah, one of my friends uh sons got charged with uh went to jail, so I I toss up a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

They don't say Rob, you there? Nobody ever says, hey, dude. Yes, that's not surprising. Wow, that's big. I'm not surprised by that. Well, I'm surprised it's that big, but I'm not surprised by that. All right. Social and going out rules, okay?

SPEAKER_01 12:52

All right, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Is the iris exit rude or elite?

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Ooh. Elite.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Elite.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

That's just like disappearing, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Yeah, like literally not saying goodbye to anybody, and then you're gone.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Yeah. And then the person's like, hey, where's Rob?

SPEAKER_02 13:10

And you're like, uh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

You gotta say goodbye there. That's that's a little rude.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Did I ever tell you about the time my friend left us at a bar?

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Left you?

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Left all of us at a bar. It was the end of the year party, and she lived down the shore. We were in Jersey City, and um the rest of us were sleeping at my I lived in Bayonne at the time, and they um were sleeping at my house. So she was our ride back from the bar to my house. No, we were stopping at the diner first, so she was our ride from the bar to the diner because we had all drank.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

And the next thing we know, we were like, Where's where is she? And somebody else saw her walk out, and I called her and I was like, Where are you? She goes, I'm on the extension. I go, what are you doing? I said, You want a ride. She goes, Do you want me to come back? I said, No, forget it. Irish exit. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

We got another ride, but yeah, so Irish exit. I don't know how I feel. I'm a goodbyer.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Yeah, and I'm a you gotta say goodbye.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Yeah, I'm I'm actually the you know, the goodbye that lasts. You know, I think that's a good thing. Me neither. I but I have to say goodbye to the people that I have to say goodbye to. Yeah, there are a few people that, not just the hosts.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

But I do. Hey, don't get up. Like I do a wave.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Oh, that's a good thing. Yeah, but you're too. I can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

It's like that. That's just stay away. Thanks, stay away.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Do you command the room when you do that?

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yeah, a little bit. Hey, everybody, take care of me. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Do you think you can do that because you're taller?

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

I mean, I would have to stand on a stepladder to be like, hey, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Let's get it all out of the way.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

That's a fabulous one. Blanket goodbye.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Yep. Peace out, everyone. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

I actually think that's great. Show up empty-handed, yes or no. This is a hard no for me and non-negotiable.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yeah, no. Non-negotiable. China wouldn't let me anyway, but.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

It's a non-negotiable for me. I grew up, I was raised, no matter what you come with. I even if it's a bag of candy.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Yeah, we're good. We're good with desserts. We're we're just anything.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Bag of candy, I'll bring China will buy like a $40 cake.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Me too. I mean that same thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Like definitely.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

And I'm like, you better fucking eat that.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

How about the thing I sent you today? How about the thing I sent you today with the cutting in the 24 pieces? Buy a new goddamn cake. That was really funny. All right. Um we've talked about this too, is being late acceptable. For me, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

My time is no less valuable.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Not early or late. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Absolutely. All right. Dinner money.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Split evenly or pay your share.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

With what? Nice. I'm an even. I'm an even split. I don't sit there and nickel and dime like that.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

I don't have time for the calculator.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

It would be the last time I go out with somebody. Probably right. And I usually get the raw end of the deal because I don't drink.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

I know, but it doesn't matter. And I don't even eat that much. Like I don't get appetite, like most of the times, but I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Like it'll it'll come around when people can't figure out the tip in two seconds. You just add 10% times it by two.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

20%. I don't know. And then if you want to add a few more bucks in.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

So you know what that says to me? They didn't pay attention. Yeah. In percents in fifth grade. No, but that's fifth grade. Fifth grade math.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Look, I struggled in math. I I I I know how to change it.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

And nowadays there's a calculator on your phone. Like that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

If it's $130, that's $26. I know. $150 is $30.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

People can't figure out tips. Because I think they're trying to figure out the 18%, where it is 15% and not the 20%. Like I just read that. Yeah, I think even at our age, regardless of economic situation.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

I just round that shit right up. Yeah, 20%. I literally just my bill today when I got my manicure pedicure. I said, how much it was the my whatever? She said 90. I gave her 20 bucks. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

I just do 20 because I'm not going to go below. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Like I'm not going and I'm not asking you to change my 20 for $2. Like that's nuts to me. She did a really good job. Yeah. You know what? Let her have it. Like, I I don't, you know. Yeah. It's my second specialty coffee of the day.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

The delivery tip is always the delivery tip is always a tricky one.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

That's a tricky one. Not just the delivery tip, but the tip when you ordered something to go and you go pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Oh, I don't tip like that. You don't? Nah, I'm sorry. That's that's I What about like Bubacoos?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Like I go to Bubba Coos and I'm and I order it right there and they're making it in front of you. He's doing it like while I'm like going down the thing and they're like and then we're like uh he makes it right there in front of you, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:01

No, a worker said that the owner got all the tips. The workers never got the tip. She called them out. She got fired. So I I'm wondering how much that happens. For those things, you think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

For those types of if it's not cash. So I think if it's cash, that makes a difference. Do you think if it's cash that makes a difference? Yeah, yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Like if you putting it in a I never thought about that. Like so so you tip the Starbucks woman? I mean, like if she makes you a fancy coffee?

SPEAKER_02 18:35

No.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Or the guy? No, right. Okay. No. Yeah, all right. That's not a thing. Or if you pick up a bagel, there's a chance to tip. Someone's making you a bagel.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Sometimes I feel the pressure. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

See, I won't do that.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

I feel the pressure with the flip it over, and they're like, oh, it just needs you to answer a question here or there. No, a lot of people serving me a little fliabls.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, I don't care. Prime example. Yeah, I won't go.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

They always flip it over and they say to you, Oh, just answer this funny question.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Yeah, they all do it. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Sometimes I feel real pressure.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Like real pressure. You're a better person. I don't know. And I'm not cheap, but like I nobody would say I'm a cheap person, but I just don't think I just don't pressure. I can't handle it. I just can't handle it. I just it's it's not acceptable.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Wait, I have one for you. What about, and I think he was expecting it the other day. I filled up with gas and I always pay I always pay cash. Always.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

They expect tips. I have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Wait, I had I was waiting for my dollar back, and I think he was waiting to keep my dollar. And I literally, I think he was shocked when I was like like when I put my hand out of the window, like for my dollar. No offense, but like I would I know I'm in Jersey and it's a very controversial thing, but I would pump my own gas, man. Like sometimes I wish I could get out and do it. It's actually nicer.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

It's nicer to pump your gas.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

When I'm uh waiting for somebody and I need to get the hell out of it. Oh, in Florida, I love it. Just leave me alone, let me pump it. Right, because they said they kept the money and they were just like, But I was shocked people tip the gas part. I am too.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

Like I never in my life, like I never even thought of it.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

I didn't either until I saw that thread.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, I didn't either.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

And then I started to pay attention.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

And I'm telling you, the other get that the other day, that guy was waiting to see if I was going to allow him to keep my dollar.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Right. Yeah. That's amazing. And it's not like they don't make any minimum wage, you get a lot now. You know, it's not like the old days where it was like twelve bucks. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

I know. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

I guess it's like twenty bucks an hour almost.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

I mean, I guess I understand that like if you're freezing your ass off or it's in the rain or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Like I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

I don't know. I I I I don't know. That's a hard one. I really think that's a hard one. That's an interesting one.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Certain tips are implied. That's that's not.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

All right. Um this is an interesting one. Venmo immediately or wait?

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Uh immediately.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Me too. Me too. What do you do when the person when you laid out the money and the person doesn't Venmo you?

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Yeah, that never happened too much.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

I never it has happened to me many times. I have a venue hearing it.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

I'm not sure if I gave you my Venmo, here it is.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

You know, what if it's your friend? Yeah, I would just say What if they know your Venmo?

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah, that's a weird one. Yeah, I don't know. I would just probably just it depends how much it was.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Not a lot, like under 20 bucks, but what if it happens a lot? Depends on your twenty bucks.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

If I knew they were struggling, I would probably ignore it, but expect it, but ignore it, and then I probably would just keep my mouth shut.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

I do. I have.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

That's what I do. That's my game plan. Whatever, twenty bucks. I mean, if they want to keep their $20, if it means that much to them, then I what am I going to say? Right?

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Do you ever have anybody in your life and for some reason they expect you to pay?

SPEAKER_02 22:12

No. No, actually. Because I'm single. So no, that's one of those things. As a matter of fact, very often it's the opposite, and I have to say to people, I I can afford this.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

No, I know. I always treat her for a coffee or something and annoys her a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

A little bit sometimes. Because it's an independence thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

No, I know.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

I just don't let women pay for anything. I know. I was just gonna say, I know for you it's a chivalrous thing. So I stopped bucking it back. I did.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

I mean like another dude, like, yeah, it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

But like, have I ever had like friends just expect to pay? When I was younger, I did. There was a couple of friends that just always pretended they didn't have money. Did you ever have those friends? Oh my god, I forgot my wallet. Or like, oh, we were in our like 20s back then. And then they always conveniently, when the bill came out, they were like, oh my god, I thought I had a 20.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I have the opposite. There are some people that I won't ask to go out to dinner with because they always pay and I don't like it.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Well then now as adults, and then you feel uncomfortable before I want to owe you. There's a do bill there. Yeah, yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

No, there's with them, there's not a do bill. They just do, but I I just I just don't I don't like I'm not I'm okay with it once in a while. Like there's there's times like uh we'll ask me and Gina will ask one of her friends to go out to dinner and they're single or whatever. And I and I make sure, look, we want to take you out to dinner. Right. I want that because I don't know their financial I don't assume people have money. Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

I just assume somebody else's money.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

So we'll do that every once in a while. And uh and you know, that I like. They always offer to pay, but I I like doing that.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

But um but you also did it under the guise that you you they knew ahead of time that you weren't going to expect them to pay. Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But um, yeah, sometimes people pick up the tip or something.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

I always if somebody a offers if I know that I don't have a leg to stand on, you know, like I know that they are absolutely insistent that they're gonna pay, I always say, please allow me to take to take care of the tip then. Like it really it would make me feel much better if at least I took care of the tip. So I will offset that sometimes by the tip. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Yeah, yeah. I keep score, but only to make sure I'm even, not that other people.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Because you don't want to owe anybody anything. Oh my god, it's so many. So maybe all right. Work life. Um, well, you would this is kind of different. Like respond after hours, yes or no.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Because I get a lot of that. I know.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

Um like for me, I can say no. For you, I don't know that you can say no.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

No, no, no. I can say I definitely say I say no more than I say yes. Um good. I I think when people text me, like clients, I don't think they expect an answer right away. I think it's just on their mind.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

And they want to make sure they just take everything on it.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

I think that's all it is. Yeah. So I I actually don't mind. Okay. Yeah, I don't mind at all.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

For me, I think that um in the education world, really, um, during the pandemic, the lines got so blurred between like when the day ended and when it didn't, because parents had I never gave my cell phone out. I made, I made sure. Actually, it was funny. During that time, I still have a landline. Yeah. So I fired up my landline, and that's what I used because I didn't want them knowing my cell phone number and being able to text me all the time. But there are apps that you can text through.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

So they still were able to text me. I just was controlling when I saw it. They would text me at all hours of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally at all hours of the night about like Johnny's homework. Like, chill out, lady.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Yeah, I got less responsive on the weekends a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Yeah, you have to like put a line, boundaries, right? We've talked about that so many times. Boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

You have to make boundaries. All right. Next. So that's work. I don't know that we can really um meetings that could be emails. Yeah. Do you have a lot of those? We do in my in school. Send me an email. Yeah. Why do I have people in?

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Well, well, well, sometimes people set up a Zoom. I think just because they like miss meeters.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

That's different. They're not setting up a meeting at eight o'clock in the morning because they miss us. They've send said because they don't want us sitting in our rooms enjoying ourselves, quite frankly. I think that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

But um many of them can.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

That's the whole thing in the corporate world, I know, is that people have so many meetings that they can't get the work done.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Right. In school also.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Actually, a f a few years ago, our last contract, was it our last contract or two contracts ago? They actually had to put a clause in our contract specifically because my former principal would make meetings five days a week before All right.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

So I have a few now. Okay. It's more about like social slip-ups. All right. You know, the first one's funny because they do it a lot. You do it a lot? I do it a lot. Yeah, yeah. I do it all the time. Oh, all the time. Wow. Like too much, yeah. So saying you two when the waiter says enjoy your meal.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Because it just comes flying out of your mouth, right? I say it's you too.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

I say it at the gym. Have a good workout, you too. You know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

As you're walking out the door and she's not working out.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Right. No, no, as I'm like, I get to the gym and and I check in and she goes, have a good workout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

That's like yes, there's that, but I think that's because your mind is just like somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you just want to be nice and respond. Yeah. Yeah. That happens a lot with me. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

I think do you think that's because you feel like you can't just say thanks because it's selfish?

SPEAKER_01 27:52

What's that? Maybe. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Like, why can't you just leave it at thanks and give something back?

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Like that's a good thing, right? Like we feel as though you have to say it back or it's not even.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Yeah, it's like it's like when somebody like gives you a ticket and they say enjoy the show. You too.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Yeah. You want them to have a good experience. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Yeah, yeah, it's weird. So it's like, yeah. Is that you're just not listening?

SPEAKER_02 28:19

It could be.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

It could be.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yeah, you just not really zone in or anything.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

It could be. It definitely could be. One of those things. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Okay, let's see what else they have. Okay, holding the door for someone way too far away, and now you're both stuck.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

So I this happens to me on quite a regular basis at school. So very often I am I'm waiting and then I see somebody and I feel really bad because now they're running.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Now they're running to the door, and I have to say to them, no, no, no, no, I'm good. Like, don't run. I just won't close the door in your face. So don't run, right? Like, and then I feel like an ass because I made them run because they're like running still. Yeah, that's a hard one. Oh my gosh. How far is too far?

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Probably 25 feet.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

What's 25 feet? From here to the end of the Oh no, I've definitely done it longer. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, like they just round the corner and I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

No, it is for me. In the morning, I'm never in a rush, and I understand that everybody else is probably in a rush.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Come on, come on, come on, clip, slow down.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yeah, yeah. So so but it's almost like I'm in a good mood in the morning because I often because I'm not in a rush. Yeah. I like going to Panera.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

And I hold a door for people.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Yeah, no, I see if I see it.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Panera I like I'm probably holding I do the thought. I can hold two doors.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Oh, you can get one and the other one.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah. I got it. It's very useful. I got it all. It's very useful, your wingspan. It's almost like, you know, you gotta do some good things to make up for all the shitty things you do.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

All right. Well, you think you do a ton of shitty things.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

How about like nodding? You ever nod to somebody like you understand when you don't?

SPEAKER_02 30:03

Absolutely. 100%. I mean, any if you it that's one of those things that if you say no, you're lying. Everybody has nodded off just to get out of the con.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

Like just to But not understanding, though.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Like fully not understanding? Probably not. No. I'll ask a question if I don't understand it. So I guess not.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

I had a I had a uh I've done it if I'm not listening. I had a potential client one time and she was in a self-help field. So I like it.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

You didn't even hear what I said. I've done it when I like if I'm not listening. You weren't listening. Go on.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

I uh you had a potential client what she was like in a self-help field, and I like it, but she was at some level that I never heard before, meaning like her philosophies were something I was so unfamiliar familiar with, and it was like an hour discussion, and I didn't know what the fuck she was saying the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

You never stopped her to ask her to explain anything?

SPEAKER_01 30:59

I there was no it was so it was almost like it was a hidden camera. Oh and I just didn't understand at all, but it was all stuff that I'm interested in. But you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Then why didn't you ask for further clarification?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

I didn't think she was capable of simplifying it enough.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Maybe she was too out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Almost too clinical, but she didn't have like a clinical degree or anything, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 31:28

But it was it was so clinical that it was just like there are many teachers out there who teach way too high and you can't break it down.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Yeah, like I didn't even know what questions to ask. Like I I I didn't get it because she probably read I didn't know what the hell she was going to be.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

I just did a whole lecture this week about memory and learning and cognitive overload.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

That's a good one. That is a good one, and how there's so many things that you know, and I I because this has happened to me a million and a half times, where I get kids and they're like, I didn't learn that. And you're like, you went to fifth grade here, right? And they're like, Yeah, and I'm like, I taught fifth grade here for four years. I know they taught that.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

You got that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

You didn't maybe process it, but you were definitely taught it. Like there's a difference between teaching it and learning. Right, right. And part of it is that, like, cogn like, so I don't know, maybe you were so overloaded cognitively you didn't even know where to start. That's what I'm saying. No, yeah, I was overloaded. So you couldn't lower you couldn't even process what she was saying because it was so you didn't even know where to begin.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

And I've talked to people a lot smarter than her with a lot more difficult subjects where they were able to.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah, but she was unmanageable. Like she was uh it was unmanageable for you. Yeah, that's bad. I hope that's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

But what was interesting about her is that she could never get off the ground with anything. Which which which was which which was so so interesting.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

I just was gonna say, I just said to you before I took a drink and couldn't swallow that maybe she just can't teach people.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

I mean, she's just so unreachable.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

And it was in that self-help coaching.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

I mean, which she was can't be successful if you can't reach people. Like if you if you walk out of there all like you know, googly-eyed. Because you have no idea what end is up, who the hell else is going? And you're really intelligent. Imagine somebody who's just no, but honestly, imagine somebody going for fucking help.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

And then there's more like a house anyway.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

And she's talking all and they're like, What? Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Yeah, it was wild.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Where is she now? Do you know?

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah, she just popped up. I started seeing it. If she's successful, I I don't know what she is, man. I don't know. I interesting. You know, she just uh wild.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

I wonder if maybe if she is successful, you wonder whether somebody kind of said to her, dude, you gotta take it down five minutes. I think she's one of the people unreadful.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

Uh she is. She's one of the people that I uh unfriended on Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Rob went through a thing. And he went on an unfriending kick on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

On Instagram. I made my account private.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Okay. Only because you explain, it's your story.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Yeah, I mean, so it was kind of weird. Someone was had me blocked for like five years, and then I saw him popping up, which means they unblocked me, which means they they did things to get there to unblock me. Like, you know, you have to consciously unblock.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

It's a multi-step process.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

I was like, well, fuck you, I'm gonna make my account private.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

So now they can't see you at all.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Right, right. You have to if you want the goods, you have to ask to follow. Yeah, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

So you're not giving the cow.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

But then I was thinking, who else is you know, like who else just like snoops around for some reason, which is no big deal. I mean, like, don't post anything too crazy. But then I was looking, and then before I clicked um where they couldn't follow, not that I unfollowed them, I made it so they are unfollowing you. Without blocking, you can do it. I didn't even know you could do that. Yeah, but what's happening was there are people with like five friends and they're following me. Right, I know right.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

That's weird. Are they bots? Do you think?

SPEAKER_01 34:55

No, I think they're just people from town sometimes. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Just because see, Rob knows all that stuff. My head doesn't go there, but you with the pseudo names and like uh private accounts.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

I'm like, Holy shit, this is weird, you know. I was like, oh, then I started on friend, and then I did I I decided I unfriended everybody from our hometown that I don't have banter with. Right. Like we don't have to be friends, but banter in comments. If somebody said, Hey, that's a great picture, you guys, you know, keep up or why like why you never like my shit?

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Like why like why are you friends with me just to see what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Right. So if we're not friends or have a relationship and we're not bantering, it's like why do I I rather have somebody in California follow me that I don't know than somebody in town, right?

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Yes, then I agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Yeah, so I I unfollowed like you know, twenty people from East Bunswick, and then I did something really terrible. I wanted to get underneath 500 people following me. And I was in the parking lot before the Jersey Shore Outlets at a McDonald's parking lot doing this for an hour and a half. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

An hour and a half sat in the hotel.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

Yeah, because it takes a while because you can't just unfollow, you have to click under a profile, it is their steps. So I uh An hour and a half. So to get under 500, I had uh everybody that was dead that I knew were dead, I just had them unfollow me to get underneath 500.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Well, they're not watching you anymore. No, I know. At least they don't need Instagram to watch you.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

So I unfriended dead people just to get underneath 500.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

All right. Yeah. I mean not family though.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

I wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

May they rest in peace.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

May they rest. Let's give them a moment of silence.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

For Rob.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 36:37

All right. Okay, so give us another one.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

All right. I don't know. Has this ever happened to you? Saying goodbye to someone who wasn't leaving.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

No, I don't think I ever did that.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

Saying goodbye to uh No, and then I think if it what if it did, they'd be like, Oh, I'm not leaving, and you say, Oh, I think maybe it has. And I've just said, Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were leaving.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

This one happens to me. Yeah, that was that was a stupid. This one happens to me a lot.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Okay, what?

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Saying after you at the same time and getting stuck in a loop.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Because I'll never let a woman go second. And then you're you're the door monitor.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

Like I won't fucking. You are the door monitor. Wait, when that happens, I always say, because it's almost always a guy. I always say, You're such a good door monitor. Thank you very much. I would give you a star if you were in my class.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

So I sometimes I'm a little dicky with it. Like, so that there were a couple of times where um You just walk in? Their appearance would lead me to believe that they didn't like men. Not not not in a sexual way, right? Like then, like so they had a chip on their shoulder?

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Yeah, a little bit, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:42

So we'll get inside and and I know you're more than capable of opening up the door yourself.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

You give them the the credit that you want that you think they want.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Like I know you don't need me to open up the door for you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

All right, and how do what do those people respond? It's yeah, it's a little bit I I I sense some tension before I said that.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

So I want to Oh, before what about after? How do they respond? It's just like an I it's it's not anything. Yeah, no, no, they laugh a little bit. Okay, yeah, because they probably because if I was right with the way they were feeling, that means I tapped into something, right? So it's kind of like I know you're more than capable of opening up the door yourself. Some such a fucking train wreck. I mean Jesus Christ. Uh I would go back to therapy if it helped.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

Shit.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

That's stupid. Let's see. Getting that happened to me before. Getting into the wrong car thinking it's yours. You ever do that?

SPEAKER_02 38:42

I not getting, I haven't fully oh my god, wait a minute. I have such a story about that, not the car. And it wasn't me. So my family, my sister has a place in Florida, and my mother goes there four months. Well, she did go there four months out of the year, and this was one of those times that she was there for, you know, for a while by herself, and then my sister and her husband come and go. So this was one of the times that my sister and her husband were there, but I think it was just my sister's husband in the apartment, and my mom gets off the elevator, and every floor on in the building looks exactly the same. Yeah, she walks to the apartment, she walks into the apartment, she gets almost all the way into the apartment, and she walks in and there's a guy in the living room. Oh my god. And it's not our apartment. Oh God. Uh-huh. Thank God that man was not naked. O to the M to the J. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Oh my god. So there was a woman, I was I saw it. It was like one of those.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

For the record, she was 82 at the time.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

Yeah. Jeez.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Yeah, 82, probably.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

There was a woman. I I was watching um like a long form reel. She was visiting her daughter, so she had to borrow her daughter's car to get around. So she went to like Walgreens or something. And then when she was leaving, she got in the car and she took off. But guess what? It wasn't her car. No, somebody left the keys in the car so it started when she got in. Like they left the spare keys, and she was driving around for two days.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

With somebody else's car?

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Yeah, she didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

So the police, so it was the body cam, is what you saw. That's what the video was. And uh the police was like, you know, this car is stalling. She goes, it's not stalling, it's my daughter's. And then she goes, my keywords. She goes, I think my battery's dead because when I go like this, the door doesn't unlock. And it was just because the there was an extra spare key in the car. So she was able to stole a car. Literally stole a car. Yeah. That was good. I'll find it for you.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

Oh my god. Did she get in trouble?

SPEAKER_01 40:57

No. No, it was just like a big, you know. You could tell she wasn't lying. Right, right. Like there was no like not lying.

SPEAKER_02 41:06

All right, what's next?

SPEAKER_01 41:07

What's next? Saying good morning at 4 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

I always say yes. Or good night, and it's the morning. All the time. Have a good night. Have a good afternoon. I never know what the hell day it is.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

I do it in email once in a while, but I I usually catch myself.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

All the time.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Oh, this is so you. This is so you. Okay. Thank you, someone who didn't help you.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

Is that you? All like sarcastic all the time. All the time.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

I will be that person that when we're walking through the door, if you let the door slam in front of me, I will walk in and say, Thanks for that. Appreciate you. Yeah. Big time.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Yes, I will hold you accountable in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

I do something a little different. Like, I got it, I got it. Don't worry. I got it, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

No, I want to say thank you for something that you didn't do that you should have done.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

Like if I'm shoveling snow, my kids aren't helping you.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

I got it. Don't worry, I got it. That's a martyr. I got it. That's a martyr. You're playing the martyr. I do. I I I mean with my kids, I play the martyr. But if you didn't hold the door open for me, like and that's like a I'm saying something.

SPEAKER_01 42:15

Yeah, that's a big one for you. It is. The door is a big one for you.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Well, uh, yeah, because I also it's a very big one for me, also with my students, teaching them that you hold the door for the person.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

But then you said like you get stuck with the door. I also, with my students, when I teach them, I say you hold it for the next person. And then you let it go. And if they don't grab it, you make them grab it. Like you say to them, I'm letting go now. You don't just in their face, but you say to them, not my job, yours now.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

So yeah, I that is a big thing. It's a social etiquette.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

You can be a little passive aggressive with that one.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

I'm not, I'm full on. I'm full on bitch.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

You ever smile at someone and they don't smile back?

SPEAKER_02 42:57

Yes. Very much so. Very much so. I get angry.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

That's an awkward.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

I get mad. If they if if they looked right at me and I know, not angry, but like I get like. Yes. Just smile.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Yeah. So I can just smile.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

What does it kill you?

SPEAKER_01 43:15

And you and you you saw it happen to Jesse. I I think I do that. Like that you don't. I think because sometimes I'm so you know how I get like I'm deep into the city. Into yourself, you don't see that? My thought.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Yeah, I mean, listen, for something like that, I wouldn't call something.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

No, I think that's when I miss social. I don't miss social cues. I'm I'm usually the opposite, but I think there are times where I just, you know, you ever drive like 15 minutes and you wonder how you get it. That's happened to me many times.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Or I could take I could drive all the way up to work and I'm like, I can't believe I'm here already. Like, what was I doing for the entire ride? Right.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Gone. Yes, absolutely. Definitely. I think I get like that a lot more than I than I realize.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

Yeah, let's see if.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

I get like that a lot when I'm walking the dog and all of a sudden and I'm not even paying attention to her. And I'm like, oh my god, I don't even know if she went to the bathroom. Like I I don't I'm just walking right now. Like I don't know where my mind is.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Sometimes I can't believe like parents like their kids are still living. Like like just meaning like what do you mean? Like you get so entrenched watching your kids and so tired sometimes. Same thing.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

It's like yes, I know. Like that they function, you mean? Right. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

It's like you just like playing.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

I know. I remember when my kids turned one. We do this all the time. When my kids turned one, I remember saying, I I I felt like I remember the Barry Manilo song, I made it through the rain. I literally, you know, you had twins. I felt after like they turned one that I like a fog lifted. Like, and I remember looking back and saying, I don't even remember half of the year. Like I mean, I I literally could hear that was like my theme song. I made it through the rain. Like I I can't believe I made it.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Right, right. Crazy.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

So that to me was like a big life moment where I just was in a fog the entire time. Yeah. No, I don't I didn't even realize I was in as much of a fog until I got out of it. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

That's your trauma.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

Well, it is. Oh, well, yeah. Trigger. Yeah. All right. We do this all the time.

SPEAKER_02 45:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

This is you and me, or both of us in a business. It sums up our friendship in a fucking nutshell. It does? Yeah. Saying I'll keep this quick.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

And it's not quick at all. That's our entire thread.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

It is so it is so us. It's never, ever, ever quick. No. It's never and we always have good intentions. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

We're gonna Yeah, I'll I'll have the lights on. Right. I mean, it really is.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

And then we're sitting on the couch talking for 45 minutes about something that was on Facebook in our town.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Yeah. And why why are people like this?

SPEAKER_02 45:59

Right, and then and then we try to figure out the world for everybody so that we can all be better people. And before we know it, an hour has passed. And our good intentions go down the drain totally. That's really funny.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

You ever end a call awkwardly? Give me an example of awkward. What do you mean? And then call him back by accident.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

Oh well, I've I've I've ended the call. Like I've hung up prematurely. Yes. And and then I think they're done, and then you and then you're like, wait a minute, did you say something? I'm so sorry. I've done that before.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

I I do that a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

It's like a little Well, you're a very quick. When you're done on the phone.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 46:38

Oh my God. I almost don't even. I know it's bad. Sometimes I'm like, wait, wait. Oh, he's done. He's it well, sometimes I'm okay because I'm used to it now, so it does not something that I take offensively right now.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

You know what it is? I think because I you don't call me, I call you usually, right? So I feel like I'm wasting my time.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

I know you do. I know, and that's why I don't take it offensively. I know you're not wasting my time. And yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

And I try to call when you're driving. Yes. But then I because I because it's not your time necessarily. But then I'm like, but that's a relaxed time. That's okay. So I'm always spending it. No, but that's but it's better than I'm not going to be able to do that. But that's why I do it.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Do you do that with other people though, or just me?

SPEAKER_01 47:24

No, probably you're you might be the only one I talk to on the phone.

SPEAKER_02 47:27

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:28

Yeah, I don't talk to anybody else on the phone. No. Okay. I don't talk to anybody.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

That's really funny.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:35

When you're done, you're done. You're like, okay, bye.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

So usually when I'm talking on the phone, this is Do you do it with your clients if you're talking on the phone? A little bit. Maybe sometimes, but but usually they don't have a lot of time anyway. Okay, so it's legit. But you know what's funny? I just thought of something. Usually when I'm talking on the phone, somebody wants something from me.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

And I know that sounds like a little narcissistic and stuff, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:03

Well, because you're not a phone talker. I'm not a phone talker, but somebody needs something or wants something. So I'm actually reaching out to you.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

Yeah, if I'm on the phone, somebody wants something for me. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes they don't get to it right away. Interesting. It's the small talk first.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

And yeah. And it's just because the How do you handle that? Because you don't love small talk either.

SPEAKER_01 48:23

No, no, I just, yeah, I don't have much time. Like I'll tell my. I usually say I gotta zoom in five minutes. I always say that.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

Okay. Is that your thing? Did you just give me your Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

That's my thing. I gotta zoom in five minutes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:36

You just outed yourself.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Yeah, I know. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

You have to come up with a tweak that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Know what I do all the time.

SPEAKER_02 48:42

What?

SPEAKER_01 48:43

I think did I mention this before? When I walk into a place like Panera, I always walk in like this.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

No, you never told me that. Or at least not on the air.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

You might have said that to me, but not at so nobody talks to me. So if I don't want to talk to somebody, I don't have to.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

And then wait a minute, if you see somebody that you know, do you say, alright, I'll call you back? And then pretend you got off the phone. Or do you just put the phone down and then like what happens to you?

SPEAKER_01 49:06

You only bump into somebody like two out of three hundred times, but I do it every every morning I'm like this.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

Every morning you walk in.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Yeah, because you know our town is a little bit more. I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

There are times where you head down, man.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

I have uh I just walk in with the head down. Head down.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

I walk in with my head down.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:24

And then if I have to, I'll but I walk in talk.

SPEAKER_01 49:27

Yeah, yeah, no, everything's good, man. How are you? Like I walk like it's a whole. I hate it because the one girl upon Eric, she's so sweet. I don't know. She's like 23. She's so friggin' nice. It's always like happy to see me.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Okay, you pretend you're talking to somebody when she's like, Yeah, but then I go off the phone.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's just like one of those people that you look forward up because she's always in such a good mood. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

Like Norm from Cheers. Yeah. Everybody knows your name. Does she know your name? Uh because you have to put names on that too, right?

SPEAKER_01 49:57

She probably calls me Wilson. I don't know. No, she doesn't know my name, but Wilson, like the volleyball. Yeah, exactly. Uh let's see if there's anything else. Um that might be yes. Say thank you to say that makes sense. Oh, say that makes sense when it's absolutely done.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Like I don't know. Is that I don't think I use that expression that makes sense. Well, I do. You do? That makes sense. I think mine is that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my like like space filler, I guess you can say it.

SPEAKER_02 50:30

Would you say that's a space filler? Like, like it's like a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

Probably is. I no, I I think you find it interesting, but it doesn't always mean interesting. That was my thing.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Well, that was your thing in the beginning, and you're you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Yeah, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 50:46

But when I I'm wondering what I use as a space filler.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

I I say that makes sense. Usually not when it totally doesn't make sense, when it makes enough sense where I don't have to I I'm I'm usually not that interested in the subject.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

I think I probab I might say I understand. Yeah. Or just to like to end to wrap it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I understand what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. That's what I would say. I think I say that.

SPEAKER_01 51:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

I understand what you're saying. Or I I can see that.

SPEAKER_01 51:16

Yeah, that's better.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Something like that, I say. I can see that.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

When you say I when I can s when I s when you say that you're not agreeing, you just I can see that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Or I can respect that, or I I I get that. All right. I get that.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

Yeah. Depends on what you're not my cup of tea, but you know. I don't say cup of tea. No, but that's what that means too much.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

It does, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

I I'm a big I also like to say.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

This happened to me the other day. Saying we should definitely hang out.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

So okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

Meaning never.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Meaning never? Did you say it or the other person said it?

SPEAKER_01 51:50

No, no, no, no. No, the other person said we should definitely hang out.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

And what'd you say? Did you not want him? Absolutely. No, no. And you have no intention.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

No, I mean I just can't imagine.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

So why'd you you just had to get out of the conversation?

SPEAKER_01 52:02

Well, yeah, it was just it was it it was it was through messenger. Okay. Yeah, it was through messenger.

SPEAKER_02 52:09

Do you well I can't really you can't really have I don't know that you can answer this legitimately because you're a guy, and I think this might be one of those men are from Mars, women are from Venus conversations. But do you ever like there are certain friends who are just not great at even keeping in touch, even through like text every once in a while.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Like me.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

Yeah, that's not a friend.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

I'm not a no, no, no, no, and I'm not proud of that. Like, like I'm not proud of that at all, but I'm not a good friend.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

Yeah, I I I do like there, I have friends, and I love them to death, but like when shit's going on in their lives, they're absent.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Right, right. I gotcha. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't expect anything back though either, but like I'm not a good, I'm really not a good friend.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

Do you know what it is? I don't know that I expect anything back, but I do expect an acknowledgement because I think in that moment I took the time to check in with you.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

I always respond and and and I I'll check in with you.

SPEAKER_02 53:10

No, I know, but they don't and they'll respond back in the moment, but it's ne it's always initiated by me.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Right. No, I got you. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 53:19

And and I've noticed that there are some friends who are I I've made become aware that they've always initiated or most of the time lately have initiated it, so I've tried to initiate it more because I get what it feels like. Like just take five seconds. Again, we've talked about this before with texting.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

Yeah, I'm I I I have to do better.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

It's so easy texting to just send somebody a little thing that says, hey, thinking about you.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

Well, I know you're not gonna say that, but right, but then it leads to you actually have to maybe not though.

SPEAKER_02 53:47

You set the boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 53:49

It's so weird because it I like all that stuff, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

But right, okay. So maybe the boundaries need to be set better, though. Maybe it maybe it needs to just state a text.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

Yeah, no, I know, but no, but I I I want to see the people, I like the people. I know, but that's exhausting. That's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_02 54:10

But it's exhausting. I get it. And I don't have the time really to see a lot of people, and I feel bad, but I don't I don't know. I don't know what it is with me.

SPEAKER_01 54:17

Like I have the time, but but I have so many interests.

SPEAKER_02 54:21

Are they really the interests of those people? Can you fit them in?

SPEAKER_01 54:25

No, I mean interests like creating content, editing a pod. Like that's what I enjoy doing. Like, like my hobbies. I don't like their solo hobbies. I'm sorry, they're solo hobbies. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Yeah, they're solo hobbies.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

And like my hobbies are are like I I I don't want to say I don't need anybody. And it's it's not like an arrogant thing or I don't appreciate people. I don't need many like I No, I know. And it's not like a small circle, I don't, it's none of that. Like I like everybody.

SPEAKER_02 54:56

Right, it's just it's just I think I mean for me, I do think it is also. Well, I mean, I like it's been I'm very I'm very social and very in certain. Like I love a big get together and a party, but then I also love my alone time. Um But for me, I just feel like there does like just just reach out to me every once in a while.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

You'll be proud of me.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

The uh so this I didn't tell you something, but I have to tell you, I I'm gonna share something to this and then we'll wrap it up.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

I listened to our podcast for the first time the other day. I went to high school. I always liked them. We're we're we're definitely on the same sink, like to the point where it's scary. Okay. Like like like we're like like separated at birth identical twins, right?

SPEAKER_02 55:42

Like it's always Wait, you went sane year?

SPEAKER_01 55:44

Uh he's a couple years younger than me.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

Were you friendly with him in his life?

SPEAKER_01 55:47

No, I didn't know him at all.

SPEAKER_02 55:48

Oh awesome.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

I didn't really know I knew I graduated his buttons. He's probably gonna hear this. But so Hi. So he um he reached out to me. Uh we would we we would message once in a while, and then he goes, We should meet for lunch. And it's actually somebody I actually want to have lunch with. And I said, When's a good time?

SPEAKER_02 56:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

And I said, next week I'm free Monday, Wednesday.

SPEAKER_02 56:12

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

So we're going out Wednesday. See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

Good for you.

SPEAKER_01 56:18

You said you wanted to But that's somebody like for me to do that, like you really have to.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

I I mean you have to really want to see him.

SPEAKER_01 56:26

Yeah. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

Yeah, so I'm glad you're spreading your wings. But where were you gonna go? No, I wanted to tell you. Did I mention to you who I saw?

SPEAKER_00 56:34

No.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

At the gate at the thing that I went to the other night? So I went to that pocketbook bingo thing.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

Right.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

Literally just randomly saw this come up on actually, her name is Danielle Cabral. She's one of she was on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, um, no longer, but I our paths had crossed years ago during the pandemic. I had her son actually in the day camp. He was in my division. So I knew her, and I follow her on Instagram. And she had just popped up this thing. She did a reel where she said that um it's okay. It was there would they were have someone, her best friend was having an event, this thing, and I turned to my friend Nicole and I said, Oh, I bet you there'll be really good prices there in Middletown, nowhere near us, right? It's like 40 minutes away. No, but not in the area. That's important. Out of our area, okay? 20 years ago, I dated a guy when I lived in Plainsboro. He literally broke my heart and moved to Texas, and I literally it destroyed me. And it took me a while to get like it was a life-altering situation for me. One of the reasons probably I'm still single now, like literally life-altering. And I'm sitting at the table at Bingo, and this woman walks by me, and I turned to Nicole and I said to her, Oh my god, she looks so familiar. It was his best friend that he worked with that we would hang out with all the time.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

Are they still best friends?

SPEAKER_02 58:10

I I mean, so the whole time I'm sitting there going, I have to say something. Like, this is like a once in a like I'm I'm here.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

A little bit of closure too.

SPEAKER_02 58:17

Well, oh my god, that's exactly what my sister said.

SPEAKER_01 58:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

So I waited until, of course, I played mental masturbation the entire time. You know, should I, shouldn't, I should, I shouldn't, I should, I shouldn't. I finally I was like, this is never gonna happen again. I have to say something. So that she won the last prize of the night, which was a really big prize. So I was like, perfect, she's in a great mood. Like, I had a feeling that she didn't know who I was or didn't even. I I first of all, I don't look the same, you know. I'm I'm I'm I look different. It's been literally 20 years, almost like 20, I think 21 years since I've seen her, probably. And I walked up to her and I said, Hi, do you I said, you probably don't know. She looked at me and she's like, mm, I said I dated, and and she was like, Oh my god. I said, Do you still speak to him? She said, Well, he moved to Texas. I said, you know what? If you talk to him, just tell him I said hi. And I walked away and I was like, that was a once-in-a-lifetime. Like, what are the chances?

SPEAKER_01 59:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:20

What are the chances? Have you ever had a moment like that?

SPEAKER_01 59:23

I I I had, yeah, I had moments like that.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

Did you seize the moment to say hello to the person?

SPEAKER_01 59:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm so glad I did. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

I'm really glad I did. Like, I really weighed it back and forth the whole time, and I'm so glad because sometimes you leave there and you're never, you know, and it's like. Oh, that happened to me here.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

That happened to me on different levels recently.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

Yeah, where you didn't say anything. And you were pissed.

SPEAKER_01 59:47

Yeah. I I felt like less of a man. Huh? Like, yeah, yeah. Okay. A little disappointed.

SPEAKER_02 59:53

I think I would have been very disappointed had I not seized the moment, and I'm very glad that I did. And it is such closure, and I'm it's so funny. The fact that you just said that, and the fact that that was my sister's first reaction proves that it literally was closure. So I'm glad that I saw her, and I hope that he's in a great place in his life. I know that I'm in a such a better place in my life, and um, here's ex-boyfriends.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Peace out, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:16

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:18

Yeah, I can just uh double that. So what I do is wear a cut off. I make uh three different layers. One layer to both of us, one layer just you, one layer it just. I think that's the angle, but it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:30

That's alright. That was really I'm glad we ended with that. Can you believe that? I think that I said something to her. Alright, we gotta load all this shit. What do you need me to take all of this, right? That's totally fine.