Episode 24: From Daily Annoyances to Real Life

Episode 24 of Out Loud with Rob & Rachel is all over the place in the best way possible. From everyday annoyances like lost dry cleaning and grocery store habits to deeper conversations about health, aging, and what really matters as we get older, this one hits both funny and real.

Rob and Rachel get into the obsession with fighting aging, how genetics plays a bigger role than we want to admit, and why their biggest motivation now is simply sticking around longer for their kids. They also dive into modern-day frustrations, from bad customer service to wasted money in education systems, and how everything today feels more complicated than it needs to be.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Out Loud without some classic debates:
Is it rude to drive slow in the left lane?
Do neighbors need to text before stopping by?
And should friends be expected to support every side hustle?

The episode wraps with one of Rob’s strongest takes yet on mental health and social media, arguing that getting off Facebook alone could improve most people’s lives more than they realize.

Raw, relatable, and honest — just two people thinking out loud.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Out Loud with Rob and Rachel. This is what happens when two ADHD brains come together and think out loud.

SPEAKER_03 0:08

Hello, everybody. Thanks for tuning in again to the Out Loud podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Thanks for coming back.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

We're back. The weather's breaking. We're getting color on our own. Gorgeous. Love it. I can stop going to the tannis song.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

I actually, I have to say, he still does that, even though it's extremely unhealthy. Total Gen X thing, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Like full on.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I worked in a tanning salon for five minutes back in the day on Route 18. I did. I did. I go. Tropical tanning.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Oh, that's a good one. Joe was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Capra. Joe Capra. Yeah. He was a great boss. Totally. I remember those days.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Eddie lit my buddy Eddie listens to our podcast. He used to do double, he said he was a legend for double sessions.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Oh my God. There were many double session people. Many. I've I've been known to do a double session or two. A stand-up and a lay down or a stand-up and a face. Oh wow. Yeah, you gotta, you know, double clean up.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Okay, very cool. Can't wait to see Eddie.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Yeah, meet him in person. Can't wait. So um you had a dry cleaning incident today that you wanted to see that when I came in today to tape, he was all uh fired up about the dry cleaner.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

Yeah, so uh and I knew there was a possibility that that was gonna happen. So I dropped I picked up dry cleaning a couple weeks ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

And then I dropped some off. But when I left, it's a drive-thru dry cleaner, which is really cool. But I I didn't get literally like a window, like that's so interestingly cool. And always very good, but I noticed I didn't get an email saying that they received it. I didn't think I was happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Were there a lot of cars in in front of you and behind you that he would have just done one of these?

SPEAKER_03 1:49

They probably put underneath a different Wilson, you know what I mean? So uh probably happens. So I left today dropping off more dry cleaning and picking up the other one, but then I was like, it's probably something happened. I didn't get an email, and of course I get there and uh uh no dry cleaning. And I even went, I usually go through the dry-through, but I went inside this time. You knew you were preempting. Yeah, I was pre and I I I didn't give them a hard time. I was like, look, it's definitely here.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

I would have lost my shit. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Yeah, it's like it's definitely in here. So if you said that, yeah, it's here. It's it's here. Okay. And uh, but things happen and yeah, and whatever.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I mean, we and I said a good customer service thing would be like, hey, I you know, I don't have it. Next time two shirts being cleaned are on me. Like, you know, not giving the money of the shirts, the value of the shirts, but the dry cleaning of them. Or throw you a bone, you're a regular customer.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Or or at least say, if you don't mind, this happens all the time. People end up finding it. You know what I mean? Just go home, do a quick scan, and see if you have it and then write. Okay. Even that, yeah. All right, I see.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

I would have just how much does it cost to throw a dry cleaner, a shirt and a dry cleaning?

SPEAKER_03 2:59

And I've been going there for five minutes. That's what I mean. You're a regular customer.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Like you have other stuff you just dropped off.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

Yeah, it's not like this one's on me. Right. I mean, what's it gonna cost him? Yeah, I know, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

That that's good business to me.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

But it was one of those things where the uh the shirts were you ever find like a shirt when you're cleaning out your closet?

SPEAKER_01 3:15

I just found one today.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

And you're like, yes, you know, like I love the shirt. And it was like a couple of those that they weren't, but they weren't new, so you know, or sometimes those are good shirts. So anyway.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

That stinks.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

Yeah, so that that's the dry cleaning story.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

You know, if you own a dry cleaner, just you know, throw your customers a bone every once in a while. It would be nice. That would be nice. So um I've been following um Carrie Swisher. Okay, which um I I I watched Bill Maher. She was on last night. I w I I had actually seen a clip of her.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

We're both fans of Bill Maher.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Right. And I actually had seen a clip of her, I guess, on another news thing, um, briefly, like while I was doing something else, where she was talking about she's studying like the fight the eight, you know, fighting aging. And um she last night came on Bill Maher to talk more about it, and I just thought it was really interesting. And I was able to sit down and get more of the, you know, like what she's actually doing. And she mentioned this guy, um, Brian Johnson, who is literally on a quest for fighting aging, and he does all these weird out-of-the-box things. He is on a strict sleep wake schedule, he's on a highly controlled diet and supplements. Um, he's all often described as fighting more aggressively, fighting aging more aggressively than almost anyone in the public eye.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

So, um and here we and here we are, Keith Richards is still alive.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Right. Like, so what's your thought on that? Like, I mean, this guy is making it his job, his life's mission to fight aging.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

I think it's cool. I mean, I I think uh I I think unfortunately there's just uh genetics come into play. Right, like at what point Somebody like him will say that's an excuse, which he he's interesting. He's he's right a little bit, but I just know somebody who like myself who had some health issues, who was ate clean for years, was able to get off the couch and run 10 miles for the F of it. Right, you know what I mean? And I still have a and I still couldn't cure my price.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Right, like that didn't help that other aspect of a certain thing. Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

In fact, it didn't help at all. Interesting. Yeah, like it nothing, my cholesterol didn't go down, nothing got fixed from from totally taking care of myself. So I'm back on that track again. But yeah, it just the numbers I felt better, I looked better, and I was get off the couch fast, but the numbers didn't change.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

You know, it's funny that you should say that because when I was diagnosed got diagnosed with cancer, one of the things that we used to joke about during that whole entire thing was that like I was literally the healthiest person with cancer. Like every I I handled my treatments really, really well because I never had high blood pressure, I never had high cholesterol, I never, you know, all of those things. My blood came back normal. Even with the chemo, I never had to stop chemo because my levels went up or down or anything like that. Like my protocol stayed pretty consistent because thank goodness I was so healthy.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

Yeah, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

So it's you know, so we used to laugh. I was like, oh, I'm the healthiest person with you know really aggressive cancer.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Like Yeah, no, that's that's that's interesting because I I do get it because my cardiologist even said that uh if you didn't run marathons, you would be dead. Like basically, like because I was right, uh I was able to absorb so much because I was able to run 26 miles without stopping. So it's not that there wasn't any benefits, I just mean genetics.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Right, like it didn't change the outcome of the what you got.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I I just think I don't know. I think at what point do you I'm not saying that you should just live, you know, like by the seat of your pants and just do whatever you want, but like at what point does that become sort of interfering with just living your life?

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Right? No, I feel the same way.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I feel like this guy is constantly like, aren't you? Oh my god, just one day, I just wanna chill. Right. Right? Like, and not take my blood work and not be hooked up to a machine and not whatever. Just live, just live.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Like my my whole thing with my life is uh I just want to be mobile.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Right. I mean, I get that.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Like loose and and and you know I I I don't want to be the 55-year-old guy that off the couch and he's bragging about it. I do I know. So I was turning into that guy. I decided to so you went back on, right? You're running, I'm trail running again, a little run walk, and I'll go back. So it'll be fun. Start lifting weights in a couple weeks and more and then uh start getting back. Good for you. I was talking with my friend Eddie, like we get to a point where we're we're really good at stuff, then we both just fall off and go to I know.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

It's almost like we like the journey. It's feast or fast.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

It's almost like we like the journey of getting there.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

And then you stop when you get there, and then you go back so that you can go back and do it again.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

The thrill of the chase.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Yeah. Yeah. It's not the actual catching of the We were always about the case, if you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

So it made me think of the Dylan Thomas poem, Do Not Go Gently into that good night. You said that you were you weren't you weren't gonna fight it, fight it, but you were gonna you were gonna, you know, work and you know, so uh it's it's not rocket science anything. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

You don't need a trainer or anything just to live a You don't think?

SPEAKER_01 8:38

No. You don't think there's some people who need that consistent. Yeah, but do you don't think some people need that structure of the person going if you need that structure then it's not gonna work. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Yeah, you're gonna fall off eventually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Well, when that person's gone, right? Like when you can no longer afford the trainer or make it work in your time schedule or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

That's well, I'm just talking about people more our age now. I I think what motivates me is I want to live longer for my kids. Well, that's right. Right, right, right. So so my way and looks, it's not that important to me. Like it's not that important. But so my motivation is because I lost parents young, you lost a father very young. So I want to stick around as long as I'm the same way. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

What were you gonna as long as one no, no, just so I didn't mean to interrupt you, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

If I do go early, at least they know I was trying for them. I know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

So I know that's really that's really poignant, actually. And it's true though, because my dad died at 53, and I'm 53 right now. Yeah, and that was not lost on me, that I have now outlived my father, and I'm the last of us to outlive my father. And I did just recently in the last couple of years lose a lot of weight, and that was really the driving force behind it that fat cells feed cancer. I don't want to go through that journey again, right? And I'm a single mom and I will be there for my kids. Absolutely. My dad was cheated out of a lot of things. Your parents were cheated out of so much life that yeah, you want to try and you know, not what does it say, rage against it, but don't go gently into the good night. Yeah, I don't know. Absolutely. All right, so now we're gonna liven it up a little.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Friction. I know. Bring it up, bring it up. Is it rude to hold up the left lane doing the speed limit?

SPEAKER_03 10:28

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

100%, right?

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Disgusting. If you're in left lane doing the speed limit or less, move. Move. We move. Just move.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

I think we brought it up before, but Rachel has a lead foot. Because we leave here at the same time. So and I just move over to the right lane.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

And I'm by no You were crew, you were just chilling like a lazy Sunday afternoon the last time we left here. I saw that. I'm a chilling. I might have been home about 10 minutes earlier than you.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

I take pride that like I'm not in a rush for many things.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Like, like, like because I I know because I it's bad for me.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

And this is not nothing against you or anybody else. I know, but it's bad. But I did I design my life. That's good.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Like I don't have that luxury in the morning or you know, I'm always running somewhere. So for the city.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

And you got like the worst ride. Yeah. You know, it's a tough, that's a tough one.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

And for me, driving, I'm I always feel like I'm under the gun.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Very rarely do I actually I could say this morning, that's why I was late. I feel bad. I was 20 minutes late, which is so not in my wheelhouse, but I it was so gorgeous out this morning that I just took the dog for a longer walk and I didn't have my watch on.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

And then I looked down and I was like, oh crap, now I, you know, and so I hit you.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Things are gonna change for you when your kids get their license. I know. Because you're Russian. Oh, I'm all over the place. Right? But that ends like I get home sometimes now at like at six, like I got like five hours to myself. I know like literally, what?

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Like it's a beautiful thing. I don't know what that's like. You will. And now, like, I thought it was so cool. So my kids are into theater, right? So their play was a few weeks ago, and tech week in theater world is that week before the play where they're there literally until like 10 o'clock at night because they go through, they run through, they do everything. So as a parent, you're just you know, you know, like, and I'm I'm like holding my, you know, I'm like on the couch. If I lay down on the couch at eight o'clock, like uh it's it's a wrap for me, right? So like I gotta hold it together until and then go back and break them up. So I was psyched when it was over, and then my daughter, and I I don't wanna not, I don't want to take the experience away from her, volunteered for the high school play to help them work backstage.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Yeah, it's tech week. Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

So it went right into that again. So then last night on a Friday night at 10 o'clock at night, I'm driving to the high school to pick her up, and I'm like exhaust. Um so that was another reason why my morning is a little slower.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

The only bad thing is that your insurance will go from 3,000 to 10,000. Like it's hot car a month.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

And we only have one car for both the boys.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Like, like I'm only gonna have one car. They'll only have one car. Oh, I know. But yeah, we're lucky in that way though. Yeah, yeah. Because they're the same age.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

You know, uh, we dodged a b I dodged a bullet with their, you know, with their parties. I dodged a bullet with a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 13:21

Yeah, well, you're gonna get that bullet.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

I know, I am. I know. I'm not dodging it when it comes to uh college eager either. So, all right, next one. Is bagging your own groceries faster or more stressful? I'm I'm I'm a bagger. Me too.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

I have a system though.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Like, do you so I don't know if this is like uh this might be like an ADHD thing also, but I actually put my groceries up on the thing the way that I want to bag them.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Oh, that's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Literally, and then once it's up there, if it's somebody else scanning it, I'm on the other side and I'm ready. No, I do. I got the bag set up and it's going right in the bag it needs to go in.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

I'm not allowed to do the grocery shopping, but but when I do, like I make sure the the bottles, like the cleaning products are all next to food.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah, well, that's different because that that means you don't want those gross things next to food. But I'm talking while the vegetables are together. Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Um yeah, I I do that when I go out there.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Can we go back to what you said about you're not allowed to do the grocery shopping?

SPEAKER_03 14:21

I'm not allowed. She actually likes it.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

So do I.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Yeah, she she loves it. I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Leave me alone. I don't like bringing my kids.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

But China drives like 40 minutes to go to Uncle Giuseppe.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

I know, and you keep telling me that, and I have to be able to get it.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

Because they have the music, the Italian guy singing the music. I see, I need to go there. Every time you mention it, I need to go to the city.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Well, because you want the ride. But does she like the ride too?

SPEAKER_03 14:43

She she yeah, no, she does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little free time to a hedge puts your music. Anything to get away from me.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

No, it's just head space. I get it. And you're not, yeah, you're going to an enjoyable experience. So the ride there is really enjoyable, also. I'm all for it, man. I'm gonna have to take up that ride to Uncle Giuseppe's? Yeah. Where is it?

SPEAKER_03 15:03

It's like Tenton Falls area, yeah. I'm gonna have to uh not too far from here, actually.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Uh uh. Are luxury cars and pickup lines doing too much? What do you think that means?

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Luxury cars and pickup lines.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_03 15:19

I don't even know what that means. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

I'm gonna skip that one because I don't I mean, really. If you have a luxury car, more power to you, and you're gonna be in pickup line, just like everybody else. So that's a stupid one. Um, see, I I want to bring this back, actually. And I understand you're gonna flip. This is like uncomfortable for you. You're gonna get visibly uncomfortable when I read this. Should neighbors text before stopping by? Oh, like back in the day when your neighbor could just be like, knock on your door and be like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Some people skeeve that because they're like, What? Somebody's knocking on my door? Like, who's at my door?

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Yeah, I don't want to answer it. That doesn't bother me too much.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

I actually I feel like I would have loved being in that time, like growing up during that time when neighbors stood on sat on their porches and like you were like, Oh my god, come in for some. That was like a neighborhood thing, though, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:17

That was like the Brooklyn neighborhood thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

It was a Brooklyn neighborhood thing, but a Jersey, like they did it in Jersey City. They did it everywhere, like anywhere that they were. I guess it was city thing.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

I remember my mom had the neighbors over here.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

I don't think we were uh we were not because you know why though? My parents worked like later, like my dad, so it wasn't a um but we were enter like my parents were entertainers at our house. Like they did parties, they did dinners, they did that kind of thing. We were definitely an entertaining house. But not not like hanging out like snap like coffee and dessert with your neighbor. Like it wasn't that kind of thing. No.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah, we are that's all right.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Um is it acceptable to recline your did we talk about reclining? Okay, so I I I mean I don't see it being a problem. I've I recline, just be mindful of the person behind you.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

On the plane she's talking about.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Totally on the plane. Yeah, we're gonna move past that because we talked about that. I like I wanted this one. Can adults still order chicken fingers proudly? How do you feel about like the adults and the kids' meal and that and the chicken fingers and that kind of thing?

SPEAKER_03 17:18

I used to get annoyed at my boys when they reached a certain age and we would go out to dinner and they would eat like children. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 17:25

So the things they were eating? Yeah, like chicken fingers. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

When they hit like 16, I was like, what are you know, what are fucking what if they don't like it?

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Well, I wanted them to try things, you know, because okay, expand your pal.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Yeah, like my one son was fine.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

The other one is like, dude, just like Yeah, mine only eats mac and cheese chicken fingers. So 14.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

I get chicken fingers when we get takeout, we're out to dinner. But then the bill went from like, you know, well, right, it's not what you wish for, right? Chicken fingers are really good here.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

I and you know, I heard that the kids meal us, you know, like unless you know when they have enough. That's really funny.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Stop going out to dinner with my so yeah, like uh stop pushing them to go out to dinner when it's like a three, four hundred bucks somehow. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like that's really funny.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

But you know, I have a question for you. We were just talking about this. Um, should friends be expected to support every side hustle that someone has?

SPEAKER_03 18:20

Not everyone. I mean, like you they shouldn't go out of the way not to support it, which I think happens a lot. Absolutely. You know what I mean? But um I think sometimes um a lot of reels like this come up. Um, you know, because that's the world I'm in. You know I don't know if it started coming up more for you about that debate. And it's it's kind of interesting.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Yes, it has actually. That's one of the reasons that I was really happy that this question came up because I it it has been something in my world lately.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

There's a guy that complains about it a lot, you know what I mean? Like how Oh, is he bold?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

And then and then there's some kind of taking the other side of it as like they're just not interested in what you're doing, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Like whatever Yeah, but don't you think it would be just as easy to just like it? Oh yeah, yeah. I I I just it's a heart. Yeah, I mean right, like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

I do that.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I mean, like just like it. Yeah, just support it. Just say, you know, yeah. I see.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

I I see, yeah, yeah. I see you.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

And for you that you're hustling. Like, well, how can you be a hate you know what I mean? Like, why would you be a hater? Are they haters or are they Okay, so I shouldn't say they're haters, but I just think that they're um non-supporters.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Not haters, just non-supporters, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Non-supporters. Just I'm all about lifting people up.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

Just for somebody who had his a business most of his adult life, it's uh and and this is well documented where your biggest supporters is not the first degree of people you know, it's the second degree.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

I know I actually that's fascinating, and it's so true that's it.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

That's true. It's so true, which makes a little sense because okay, just imagine somebody you know ha has a business, right? Okay, and let's just say they are let's take something sensitive like they're a life coach, but you know you're such good friends with them, you know they're fucked up in the head.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Oh right?

SPEAKER_03 20:25

The second you might you might not share their posts or liking as much because they're like who's gonna take advice on this fucking nut job, right? So but this the second degree person doesn't re doesn't know the stuff that you know about us, so they're more they're more likely to be.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

That's really interesting.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

So uh that's common, that's not unusual.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

Yeah, that and that's why.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

So now when you're talking about it from like a personal perspective, if you personalize that, does that mean that the person doesn't like doesn't think that you should be talking about what you're doing that or doing what you're doing or I'm talking more about referrals.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Okay. Though, but they're they're just they're like afraid to refer you because like okay, it's almost like setting somebody up on a blind date.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Right. You don't want to be there. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

But the second the second one.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Yeah, they don't care because they're not gonna lose as much.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

But they don't know all your all the weird habits that you have or personality. Yeah, so that it's actually very common.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Okay. Yeah, so once I learned I see you now. Okay, you don't want the responsibility, you don't want the right you don't want to get your hands dirty. Yeah, exactly. If they're you know, it's not a negative, it's just they know too much about you. I guess.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

It shouldn't be like that. It shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

But it is, you're right. That's very interesting.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

Support everybody.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

So I it's funny that okay, so I'm gonna now when you said that and um you were talking about I I I don't know, it made me think I don't know why my mind went to this, but yesterday I'm gonna I had already told you about this. Yesterday at work, um, we had somebody present to my students about really, really, really important topics.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Um, empathy and sympathy, and then your digital footprint, like really relevant topics right now that deserve the time and the attention to be to be paid to it. And I'm sitting there, and this presenter was clearly what's like the what what generation was he?

SPEAKER_03 22:31

He was like Z. Gen Z, maybe? Yeah. Older Gen Z.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

And when uh my class was the first to go in, and so we were sitting there waiting, and um I didn't I I said, Oh hi, are we in the right place? And he was he lifted his head from his phone, because that's what he was doing when we walked in, and he was like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, and then he just put his head back down and and I knew, oh boy, okay, this is gonna be um as it was, it wasn't relevant. My kids, it was intellectually higher than my kids could really um absorb anyway. But aside from that, it was totally non-engaging. Yeah, he literally read directly from the slides. Right. I would say out of a room of probably s 60 kids-ish, a third were focused on him. Yeah, no more than that.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

The rest were very visibly loud, yeah. Um, totally not paying attention to him, laughing, having conversations with their friends. Middle school, this was middle school, so it's a t you know your audience. Like, if you're presenting to middle school, you need literally to be like juggling the enthusiastic, right? Like this guy talked like this, and he was like, right? And it was, you know, mm-hmm empathy and sympathy, and that's the difference between those two. And anybody have any questions?

SPEAKER_03 23:53

Sounds brutal.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Oh my goodness. And I couldn't help but think, and I know that we don't like to talk about education or politics or anything like that on here, but education's fine. We talk about waste.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Yeah, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

So we do that's what made me start thinking about it. And you and I, right now, are surrounded in our world uh with waste that's happening at a township level, but also in education that's hitting home literally in our town and and in the surrounding towns in our state. And I couldn't help but think how much money was wasted, with all due respect. I know everybody needs a job, yeah, but that job could have been given to somebody in-house in the school.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

And the people could have known their audience better, been more effective in the delivery of the message because they know their audience better. And that money that is being spent on that program could be allotted to something else so much more relevant. But there's two things to that. Like that generation giving those presentations when their heads are in a screen and they don't know how to focus themselves more than what, a minute and a half to two minutes. Are they the appropriate people to be turnkeying really valuable information?

SPEAKER_03 25:16

That's kind of what we were talking about before.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Right, like it's like uh yeah, I mean, it's it's uh I was so I I c I I hate to say it, but like I couldn't get past that during almost the entire presentation.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

And you know, that's my that's my what aggravates me more is the the waste and the fraud. It it's like there's enough money that's getting out of your paycheck, my paycheck, everybody's paycheck to do the let's take care of before you tax people more.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Let's get rid of the waste, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

Like let's take care of that first.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

And I wonder why, you know, okay, so it was a nonprofit organization who sent this person in, and I know that they probably go to every single school in my district, which is a lot of schools, so they probably have this enormous contract.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

Right. The way you described it was terrible, like it was just terrible.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

It was it was it was that awful. Like I described it exactly the way that it was.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

And I mean, I it wasn't even just my opinion, by the way. I spoke to quite a few people, and because I just went at my time, like everybody in my school went. So it was, you know, so he was there for two separate um sessions just in my school. And everybody who went said it was the same thing, like our kids just got nothing out of it. So at what point, and then and then I just told you about that program that I use in my school that I'm mandated to use every single day in my classroom that is being sued for using the data inappropriately.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

What's going on? And when are we going to be holding accountable the people who need to be held accountable?

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Yeah, I I I I think I think it at least in our account it's happening a little bit more, but I don't know. I mean, it's it's we talked about it last week that um people only get upset when it affects them. Directly. Yeah. So you you need you you need something that like that affects everybody.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Well, so now here's the thing. I've been screaming for two years to to my supervisors that this program's not working in my classroom. Can I use a different program? Well, that's what we use, blah, blah, blah. And now, now, when it affects the parents, right? Because now it's coming out that this there's a breach in data, right? So they're using students' information nefariously, basically, maybe. So now parents are like, blah, you know, uh the program is called iReady. So now people are like, oh my goodness, now action's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 27:40

Right, yeah, yeah, exactly. Now things are gonna take place. Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

But when we as educators were telling them nothing, deaf ears.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

So, you know, I I mean, as I we were just saying, uh i ready and and all of these things, and like you know, parents pick and choose their their battles, right? I mean, I get I I get it, you have to, right? You can't fight every single battle, and if it doesn't affect you directly, very often you don't know about them, right? But like when did life become so complicated?

SPEAKER_03 28:08

Yeah, that's a good one. I I but did it though. I mean, really think about everything that people are complaining about now. Whether if it's if it's racism or anything else, it was much worse. Everything was worse. Like a lot, a lot of things were more complicated.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But like here's my okay, so I'm gonna I'm gonna bring it back to a literal, literal thing, right? So it's doing an activity with my students, a reading activity and phonics. And the last um, the last ACK was the the sound that we were act. So we were doing all words that ended with act.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

And one of them was a paper bag, and the word was sack. And it was so funny. I was like, I don't know, I just turned to my aides and we just started again, my ADHD.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

You know, I went from Oh, I missed it even. I missed it.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Right, the word sack to a paper bag, and then I was like, Oh, we don't even use that anymore. Like, that's why. Because I figured that the worksheet that I was using was older because nobody uses the word sack. Or really they didn't use paper bags that much. So then I started thinking. No.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Is that what you were thinking?

SPEAKER_01 29:31

That is so not what I was thinking. I don't even know if I remember what I was no, I do remember, thank goodness, that I was thinking we went from paper bags in stores to plastic bags to be more efficient, right? And then said, oh shit. And we went back to like so that was simpler. Like, why did we get so complicated and try to like fancy shit up to then turn around and go back to what worked the first time?

SPEAKER_03 29:59

Yeah, well, that that's that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Like, when did life get so complicated? When did we uh I mean, I don't know. Everything is a major discussion, uh debate.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

No, I understand where you're I understand where you're going right now with all of it. Yeah, no, I'm not sure. That's what I mean. Like I yeah, I just we last we've I think people like the I I think there are people like especially in government that have certain jobs, so they have to make changes to be relevant.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Like what like like it is relevant?

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Well, if you're not making changes like like like in like in our town, let's ban drones. You know what I mean? It's like why?

SPEAKER_00 30:39

So you think things are done just to do them? Yeah, just to just to say changes back.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Yeah, like I I was a part of this big thing. You can't interesting, you can't send a hundred balloons in East Brunswick anymore or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, like were people re releasing balloons that I didn't know about in East Brunswick?

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Like, was this why why do you have to make things so complicated? Why does that have to now be a discussion? Right. I don't know. I guess so. I guess so. Yeah, yeah. Did it get I don't know, like what would did it get caught in somebody's tree?

SPEAKER_03 31:11

No, I mean, is this a problem? I haven't seen a balloon in the sky in years. I know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Like, like, like, yeah, like well, I don't know what leads to those types of things.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

I I think it's like local environmentalists, which is fine. I love all those people. I do. I mean, I appreciate what they do.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

There you have to have people, those people, there's a spot. You know, it's funny. I always said uh, you know, when somebody says to me about like somebody who's like really into the PTA, and they're like, oh yeah, Miss PTA, and I'm like, listen, I work two jobs, I can't get to the class parties. Right, right. I thank God for the PTA moms. Yeah, exactly. Because I know that my kids' parties during their elementary school were gonna be kick-assed because of the PTA moms. So there is a there's a spot for the environmentalists. There's a spot for them.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

That was a knock at them.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

No, I know, and you're right. You said I love those people. I totally I agree with you. Like there's uh I'm not that person, so hats off to them. We need them.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

Right, yeah. Totally, right, absolutely totally.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

But but but but uh I don't know, maybe we all need to just slow down and I I I I think I've been talking about this a lot in the last podcast, but I think the complication is everybody's putting everything at equal weight against.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Yes. But like every throw You're right, everything has the same Yeah, like throw throwing the the the plastic bottle in the wrong thing one time is the same as somebody being killed who shouldn't have been killed, right? You know, by police officers. Right. Like it's all the it's all the same intensity, and and and and I think we're just overcomplicating. It's just too much information.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

We just well, it is, it's a 24-hour news cycle, also. It is it's an overlook. It is worse. Like it's like well, because it's become what people get their news from, too. That's the other thing.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Right, right. Well, yeah, yeah, information from and yeah, it's scary. And it's so boring because like whatever's happening in the world, I can pick out the 10 most vocal people I know and know exactly how they feel about it. Like you'll fool me once in a while. It's like, oh, I didn't think you would pick that. That's good. Yeah, yeah. Like once in a while you'll fool me. Um I was like, oh, I didn't think you would you would go that way. But but most people though, it's like, I know exactly. Yeah, like even if it's local politics, transparent, like anything like in town with the mayor. I know who's gonna defend them no matter what, and who's gonna go against them no matter what. Right. And it's just for me, it just it just got boring. Like it just Yeah, it's it's and predictable, right? Yeah, it's just boring. Yeah, I mean cookie cutter. Yeah, yeah, it's just that's uh I I'm glad that you say that I throw you out.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

I never want to be put into a box. I don't want to. I try not to. Um and also I feel like if you're if you become so consistent, are you really believing in all of the things that you say you know what I mean? Like are you yeah, like there becomes a an authenticity sort of question.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

Well you think you guys about complicated. So so then what happens is you you're just defending an ideology.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Right, which is day which is happens, and it is which happens like you know, like locally happens in our town. You're you just that's all you're defending. You're not defending what's right. I mean, and and and there's certain subjects that I think like uh we all should agree on. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

And and morally and ethically you're talking about?

SPEAKER_03 34:29

Yeah, I mean it's sometimes it's not even that important. It's not it's it's not like it's not even if you know certain things, you know, there's certain things like we have to agree on this. Like if we don't agree on this, we're fucked.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Well, yeah, yeah. I know. But the I say that a lot.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

But then there's also things that are what they call they call it 80-20 issues. 80% of the people agree, and 20% uh don't agree. No, I mean, yeah, 80% agree that it should be changed, that it's not right. 20% don't agree with that, but the elected officials will live and die with the 20% with the 20%.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Why is that?

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Um, because it's an emotional subject like immigration. Like 80% of the population thought that we should have border control. I mean, like both parties, right? But it becomes something it it just it just becomes something strange, like uh um where uh the 20% really fight in like if 80% of the people disagree with me, I would say, hmm, what's what am I missing? Yeah, yeah. I mean, a lot of these like 90%, you know, it's it's it's it's not a debate. People want want certain things. You know what I mean? I understand.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

All right. I mean, I don't know. My advice to everybody is slow down and freaking smell the coffee, buddy. Just chill out, man. Life's too short.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

I go for some hikes, like you have been, and that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I love that. I I the weather, it's the weather, the when with the I definitely I've said it before on the year, I I definitely um do that seasonal whatever, whatever thing. I have that.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Um if I was to give one tip, okay, like like let's just say you're going through therapy. Okay. This is Rob the Therapy. All right, the best tip that anybody's gonna get. And I actually think if a therapist doesn't give this suggestion to their to most of their clients that they're doing a disservice. Oh, what is it? Therapist.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

All ears.

SPEAKER_03 36:31

All right, get off of Facebook and let's see how you feel.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Wow. You heard it here.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Let's see if your mental health and go for hikes, you know, go get sunlight and get off. Remove yourself from the toxicity of social media and let's see, let's see how you feel after two months. And if you're not willing to to do that, then I don't know if I can help you. Because that's most of the people's problems that I talk to. Like that's interesting. Like, like they're fucking insane. Like, literally. I mean, they're to just get off of it. Just remove yourself from it. And I guarantee your life will get at least 20% better.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

All right.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 37:10

I I mean, I think it's true. I do. I think that it's I've I I definitely see the um the toxicity that's on Facebook. Um and the keeping. Yeah, the keeping up with the Joneses, the fake, you know, like yeah, all uh fake persona, the per yeah, the bad, the yes.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

And the problem the problem with with with with all that stuff is too you're you're often fighting with your neighbors.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

I know.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

People who live in the same town. And you know what I mean? Like, like it's okay to fight with somebody across the country, but like I know.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

And I also think that what winds up happening very often is that people they feed the negative, they feed, they love the negative, they feed off of it. It becomes like a like a feeding frenzy, like chum in the water. And so if you remove that negativity, yeah, you will fill your spaces, your time with more positive. Just just inevitably, just you know, it's funny and automatically.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Rachel and I live in the same town, and uh me and my wife, we really didn't know anybody for the first 20 years we lived here. Now it's Gina's freaking friends with everybody, so I have to behave more. So I had to get that's one of the reasons why I'm staying off Facebook. The less thing I needed to go out to dinner with a bunch of her friends. Your husband's an asshole, you know.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Yeah, well, you know he doesn't even like to be social, so the fact that he's at dinner is a is a win-win for Gina anyway. Um, but I yeah, I I social media is I think the yeah, the moral is that it really does.

SPEAKER_03 38:41

It's most of your problems.

SPEAKER_01 38:42

Could be, yeah. Could be. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, but don't not watch us or listen to us.

SPEAKER_03 38:48

Yeah, YouTube sign.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Totally.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

I'm talking specifically Facebook.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

He is, he is not talking, you're not talking Instagram. And we're not TikTok, I'm not a TikTok person. I I mean I dabble in TikTok if somebody sends me something, but I don't really go on TikTok. I don't get caught in the whole TikTok.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

Facebook is still social media, still your social network. Instagram is more interest. It's it's your Facebook. It's true, interest-based. Yeah, very true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

So expand your interests, right? Reduce your toxicity intake. That is our advice for the week. Let us know how it works.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Thanks, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

That was pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Yeah, perfect. All right.