SmartAss Comedy

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?

SmartAss Season 2 Episode 4

When the guy who signs your Death Certificate and hands out copies to friends and family, does someone else check to make sure you’re really dead? 

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When the guy who signs your death certificate and hands out copies to all your friends and family, does someone else check to make sure you're really dead? In the world today, everything is checked and rechecked before it gets the final okie dokie. This can also happen in far-off places, such as Thailand, which is where we go now. A sixty-five-year-old woman's brother had been taking care of her for the past two years. Unfortunately, he found her dead this morning. Oh my god. Considering his sister's failing health, he had already built a coffin in anticipation of her death. After lovingly placing her in that coffin that he made, they made the 500 kilometer or in western measure, 300-mile journey in a pickup truck to the hospital in Bangkok, to which his sister had previously expressed her wish to donate her organs before her desired cremation. I'm going to guess the 500 kilometer or three hundred mile journey to Bangkok would take more than a couple of minutes. Now, I'm no doctor, but I think that the time it would take for the good old brother to get sis into that coffin, then onto his truck, make the 500 kilometer or 300 mile journey to Bangkok, then get his sis off the truck, then into the hospital where they would begin organ retrieval, though her organs obviously couldn't be even used for cat food by then. Good try though. Now on to the cremation. After giving up on the organ retrieval, the coffin with his cis inside was brought into the crematorium. It sounds like a place where there should be gladiators. And knocking from inside the coffin was heard. She's alive! Fire extinguishers open fire on the fire. Crowbars opened up the coffin. And the slightly roasted sister was taken out alive. All that takes me back to the opening to the story. I want the guy who signs my death certificate, and anyone else who makes sure that the certificate is correct. Come to me and tell me to my face before I burn up or get dropped down six feet in the ground, then I am actually dead. Yeah, that's what I want.