Building Birth Confidence

The Guilt, Shame & Self-Blame Nobody Talks About

Katie Smith Season 2 Episode 4

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0:00 | 16:03

There is a thought that sits quietly underneath the fear for so many people who've been through a difficult birth: this was my fault. In this episode, Katie names it directly - the self-blame, the guilt, the shame - and explains where it comes from, why it isn't the truth, and what to do with it that actually helps.

IN THIS EPISODE:

  • The specific self-blame thoughts that come after a difficult birth, named without judgement
  • The difference between guilt and shame, and why that distinction matters clinically
  • The real barriers to self-compassion for people who've been through trauma
  • Why self-compassion isn't self-indulgent, and what it actually feels like to practise it
  • A compassionate self-talk practice to try when the self-critical voice gets loud


PRACTICAL TOOL THIS WEEK:
The friend question - when the self-critical voice arrives, ask: what would I say to a friend who said this to me? Then say that to yourself instead.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Free Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Workbook | Birthcare with Katie

30-Day Calm & Confident Birth Challenge (free)
https://birthcare.co.uk/30-day-mindset-challenge

Better Birth Anxiety Workbook — The Birthcare Collection
https://birthcare.co.uk/products-list

Birth Without Fear: Essentials for a Better Birth
https://birthcare.co.uk/birth-without-fear

CONNECT WITH KATIE:
Instagram: @birthcarewithkatie
Website: https://birthcare.co.uk/

With compassion,
Katie - NHS Mental Health Midwife | Perinatal Trauma Specialist