S4E4: The Let Them Theory - Fearing other peoples opinions

Let Them judge you

What would you do if you weren’t afraid of being judged?

In this episode, we dive into Chapters 5 & 6 of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins – and unpack one of the biggest things holding us back: other people’s opinions.

We talk about:

• how fear of judgment quietly shapes your decisions
• why you’re often rejecting yourself before anyone else does
• what happens when you stop using other people’s opinions as your compass
• and how “let them” creates the freedom to finally choose your own path 

We also go deeper into relationships and family dynamics:
👉 why their opinions hit harder
👉 how to use “frame of reference” to understand without agreeing
👉 and how to stay grounded without losing yourself

Because people will judge you anyway.
That part isn’t optional.

But how much you let it define you?
That is.

This is the shift from living for approval → to living in alignment.

📚 Book: The Let Them Theory

📚 Chapter: Fearing other peoples opinions

___________________________________________________________

👯 Hosts: Sofia Stigendal & Marielle Almquist
🎧 Editing: Elmer Hermansson
📲 Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @bookbright_podcast
— and don’t hesitate to reach out with your reflections and thoughts.

BookBright: Review, Rethink & Rewrite your story – one book at a time!

Get a book brief for each episode: https://bookbrightpodcast.com/bookbrief 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

If you have this critical voice in your head, that's a symptom of your limiting belief about something. And how are you working on that limiting belief? Because yes, of course, I can change my attitude about it. And okay, let them. I want to do what I want to do. But if you have this negative programming in your mind, this negative limited belief, you have to work on that. Because if you don't lose that up, you won't change your mindset.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Open a page, unlock your mind, grow a little brighter, one book at a time. Stories that change you wisdom that sticks. Welcome to Book Bright, your personal growth.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Welcome to Book Bright, the podcast that goes old school on personal development. We don't just read books, we live them. One chapter at a time. We're Sophia and Marielle. Two suites, in perfect English included, balancing kids, dogs, and business life while diving into international bestsellers. And here's the thing: the book on your nightstand won't change your life until you do something with it. That's why we're here. To unpack, apply, and sometimes stumble our way through the ideas together. On the road to making it applicable, this is personal development. Lived out loud.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Open a page, unlock your mind. Grow a little brighter, one book at a time. Stories that change you, wisdom that sticks. Welcome to Book Bright, your personal growth phase.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Another week and another episode of your favorite podcast, Book Bright. And today we are uh continuing on our book, our current read, The Let them Theory by Mel Robbins, and we're diving into chapters five and six. Exciting! But before we start doing that, and it's my turn to summarize today, also, and before I start doing that, let's share some wins, right? Marielle? Yay! Hello!

SPEAKER_01 2:41

All right then. So do you want me to start with my win?

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Yeah, go ahead. You seem like you have something on top of mind.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Oh yes, I'm so ready. Okay, okay. But I don't have this huge deep dive win that I used to have, you know? It's like more a good thing that I just did, and it's kind of shallow, but maybe it's a good tip for you listening. Okay, so here we go. Um when I was working, I am an entrepreneur, as you know. And when you are an entrepreneur, you have to do all these different kinds of tasks. Some tasks aren't aren't fun, some tasks aren't uh easy, like you know, it's in your head, and you feel like this is this isn't working, I am not good enough, and blah blah blah. And for example, social media, okay? Yeah. So this week I I sat down and work, and then I was going to do a post to social media, and I was trying, and then I felt like no, I cannot do this. I don't have the creativity, I it it doesn't flow, I don't know what to write, and it feels wrong. And no, I do it some other day, I don't want to do it, blah blah blah. But then here's what happens. Yes, yes, are you ready? I am so ready. Yeah, then here is the moment when I say to myself, Marielle, this is your bleeping job. This is your job, it's a task in your job. You just have to do it. I don't care if it takes you one hour or five hours. This is the only thing you're going to do today. This only thing. Take your time and just bleeping, do it. Just do it. It's your job. And I was like, oh my god, okay. So I just like I can relax because I don't need to feel the pressure of oh I only have 10 minutes for this. Okay then. If I need five hours, let's take five hours to do it. Because the next time it will take three hours, and the next time after that, one hour, you know. Okay, so that's my win. When I just like you don't need to do anything else, and this is your work. Don't get emotional about it, don't overthink it. Just just it's your job, it's your freaking job. Yeah, and the second win that comes to this is in my calendar, I have now like this I have blocked this time, so in the um before lunch, I do one task, and after lunch, I do one task, so it's maximum three tasks per day. That's it. Yeah, I don't sit with all these to-do lists with 10 points you have to do because that's will stress you and overwhelm you. So, my tip for you, Yusufie, and also you are listening is if you are like me, don't have that to-do list, just say to yourself, What am I doing today? I'm just two things, yeah, and take time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

That's really good. And I think it's a good reminder, and it's a good like advice and sort of hack to just say to yourself, okay, so this is your job, yes. So this is your job, like it takes the pressure off of being, you're not, I mean, your job is not to be like a creative person in doing or the perfect person in all the different sequels or different areas of your business, but this is your job just to do it.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Yes, don't you don't have to put that pressure, yeah. Oh, that's so good. It was really like a life-changing moment when I realized, yeah, this is my job. Because when you are an employee, you have a boss who says, Oh, your task is this, and you're going to do this, and I yeah, yeah. Uh so, and when you are an employee, you go to work and you just do your job, and then you go home. It's your job, it's not your personal personal thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

No, and it's so easy to get sidetracked by like, okay, what will people think, or this is my job is who I am, even more as an entrepreneur than it is as an employee because your work is you, yeah, yeah, like um, it wouldn't be a work without you because there is no business without you, and if you're an employee, there is still will be a business without you.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

So um, yeah, so you have to separate those things and just like it's a job. So that's my win. Good, yeah, good win. Good for you. Thank you. Good, and what's your win, Sophia? My win. I'm so I'm dying here. I need I want to know.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

I want to know to know. Tell me.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Uh okay, so my win is a parental win. Um, like, you know, like I love to sort of um I I want so much for my kids to learn the things that I discovered so late in life, like this personal development, and not, I mean, like putting words to how you can frame your mindset and how you can work with your mindset. I haven't had vocabularity for that before, and not being and not having it means I'm not intentional with it either. Um but so I've talked a lot with my kids since they were born about different things, and it's so hard to know does it stick, does it make sense? Like, I don't know, but then I got like this small sort of feedback uh on this for one particular thing, and it it's um like in my family, there are a lot of emotions, there are a lot of emotions going everywhere, flipping around in the in in the house. And I I've had different, I have different approaches on how to sort of help my kids to regulate their emotions, but like the main platform of that is also to let them know that you can choose, you can choose how you respond, you can choose your feelings, and sometimes that is harder to do. It's okay to feel all those feelings, but you can still be the one deciding. And I have uh talked a lot about this with my middle kid, especially like okay, you can control yourself, like you can choose your response to how the kids are treating you, you can choose your response in how you uh you let that what they are saying affect you and stuff like that. Um, and most of the time he's like, ah mom, you're too way too positive, and you know, things like that. Uh but then the other day, my youngest kid was sort of complaining about something in school, and some kid that had said something to him, and and he was upset uh at home as well. Um, and he got angry at something, everything got affected by what had happened in school. And he got angry and he stormed off. And then my middle kid, they too, those two, the the two youngest, they have a really, really good connection. So my middle kid, he went after him, and I could hear him sort of soothing him and telling him, like, you know what, it's okay to feel all those feelings, just know that you are the one who can decide what you want to do with them, and you can uh focus your energy on um doing this instead of worrying what they are saying, and so I hear him saying all the things that I have been saying to him, and he's sort of using that and saying that to my youngest, his little brother, and also sort of giving an example of like, you know what, I did that in this situation, and that really like I I found it to be something. He was like, he gave some sort of example uh of a friend that my youngest brother also knows about, and you know, um, and it was so much fun just to hear sort of him saying the things that I have been saying, but in his words and um with an example from how he actually has used it in in order to help his little brother.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

That's and I was like good, wow, yes, uh Sophia is doing a dance, it's his dance, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

I'm doing like little Genesis. Um yeah, um I'm I was so I just uh I just love that. You know what? That's amazing, so amazing. Yeah, oh so that was the win for this week for me. Um, like my my heart just grew with that.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yes, wow, oh you should be proud for yourself and for him, yeah. Both both of you, both, yeah, both of us.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

But it was a really nice moment, and I was really excited, and you know, and then seeing them, seeing my youngest, like listening to his brother and getting comfortable by him, and then they go off and they have fun together, and it's like you know, they're regul that he's helping his brother regulate his emotions and take him away. That's really yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

That was like, oh, yeah, that's huge. That's leadership for sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Yeah, yeah. That was like, oh, this is amazing.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Yes, it really is. And I also want to say just oh a quick win, a small win that we did, you did before we hit the wreck button. Yeah, you said we were talking about okay, so are you ready with your wins and blah blah blah, we are prepared ourselves, and then you say, Yeah, you know, I have this win again with parenting hood. And do I say it too much? Do I say it too often, often with this that parenting? And then you reflect on yourself, and you said that's who you are, and that's important to you, and that's your life. So you did, and and then we talked about it, and I said, Well, well, yeah, that's who you are, and this is our podcast. And every time you share a story like this, and every story, it's really good. So, because everyone who is listening can relate and take that thing to our daily life, so it's really good that you are doing it, and but the thing is the quick win is that you did a let them, yeah. So let them be bored about that. I am talking about my parenting. Let them, exactly, yeah, exactly. Yes, and that's the win. That's also the let them.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Yes, I use the let them in real life, in real time, live on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

That's so good. Oh, that's good, yeah. Thank you. You're implementing the book. I love it. Yes, I am, yes, and I love when you are talking about because you are a really good mom, and I love it. Thank you. That means a lot.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Okay, but should we sort of focus on the book now? Or yes, let's do it. Good, let's do it. And it's as I said, it's my time to summarize. Uh, so the theme for this uh episode is fearing other people's opinions, and the chapter in the book connected to that theme is chapter five and chapter six. Chapter five, let them think bad thoughts about you, and chapter six, how to love difficult people. Okay, so think about how often we move through life using other people's opinions as a map. We turn left or right, say yes or no, not because it's where we want to go or the decision we want to make, but we're because we're trying to sort of predict what others might think or say, and we let that steer us. But here's the thing: you can't control what other people think, what other people say, or what other people do. They will have their opinions no matter what. So the real question becomes, as Mel says, what would you do if you weren't afraid of being judged? What would you do if you weren't afraid of being judged? What is it that you want, but that you might not even admit to yourself that you want? What kinds of beliefs are holding you back when you think about it? And what have you been too scared to try? This fear of other people's reactions, that is what holds us back more than almost anything else. We procrastinate, we give up on our dreams, we play small, and it's not because we're not capable, but because we give other people's opinions more weight than our own direction. It happens every time you edit yourself, every time you stay quiet when you want to speak, every time you hide in the back of that group photo. It's not other people rejecting you, it's you rejecting yourself. And all the overthinking, like, should I post this post? Uh, does this look good? Do I look good? What do you think? It only amplifies that self-doubt. And as throughout the book, this is where let the let them becomes a real shift. Because when you let when you use let them, you stop controlling what people think, and instead assume that people will sometimes think negative thoughts about you. Make that shift because they will sometimes think negative thoughts about you. And that is human, that is normal. And it doesn't mean that they see you negatively as a whole. It doesn't mean that you as an identity or as a person is bad because they have one or two negative thoughts about you. Two things can be true at the same time. When you allow people to judge you without turning into your identity or your worth, something shifts, something changes. You become braver, freer, and you become more willing to take the path that you've been avoiding because of what others might think. And more often than not, underneath that fear that you have had concerning this, you have this inner voice that has been pointing you in that direction that you truly want to go all along. So let them. Let them judge you. And when you do, the noise quiets down. And your voice, your intuition, and your path, that is what is left. And you will become proud of yourself because living your truth makes you proud of yourself. And when you're proud of yourself, then you have power because you make yourself happy. Stop bending over backwards to please everyone else, Mel Robin says. Start bending over backwards to make yourself happy instead. So don't let guilt be your guide. Say let me because it matters to you, because it's right for you. And taking this even deeper, especially in relationships and especially in families, because Mel says that saying let them to family is often harder because their opinions matter more to us, obviously, than a stranger or our closest friends sometimes also. And here to make this shift in you and to deal with this better, uh, she also introduces a new concept, which is the frame of reference. And the frame of reference is about stepping into someone else's shoes and seeing the situation through their lived experience. It doesn't mean you have to agree, you don't have to change your mind even, but doing this, seeing someone, uh seeing the situation from their point of view and their lived experience, it will make you have an easier time understanding where they're coming from with their judgment. And with family, it's often the case that judgment, um, it sounds like judgment, but it's more often a case of emotions, it's fear. Uh, our parents are worried about us or the path that we're taking because they have an experience that is sort of similar, but it didn't end well, perhaps. And that judgment that you feel is more often than not love, but it's expressed not maybe in the perfect way. And when you use frame of reference, you step out of the power struggle of who's right and who's wrong. Because the thing is, you can both be right from your own perspective. Your parents, for example, or your aunt or your siblings, or whoever your closest family is, they're right from their experiences and your right from yours. So when you combine let them with frame of reference, something happens. You open up space for understanding and for acceptance. And often also this leads to a deeper connection and a better relationship with that family member. And Mel also introduces like a simple and powerful question. For deciding if this is the path you want to take when it comes to someone who's close to you, and when someone is close to you is judging you. And that question is: do you want this person in your life? And if you do, then use let them and the frame of reference combined. Because you always have a choice. You can accept people as they are, or you can create the distance that you need. But you have to remember that it is your choice. And when you focus on what you can control, which is yourself, you um you unlock the energy that you need to be clear and to move forward. And every time you work on yourself, it also impacts all your relationships, especially family. So you might not change their minds, but giving them the space to land in their own thoughts while showing up in your full capacity in a loving and caring way, using the frame of reference as a compliment to let them, that actually might eventually make it so that they see it your way also. But even if that is not the case, even if they never see it the way you see it, you only get one life. And your time with the people you love is limited. And knowing this, the only person you can change in any given situation is yourself. And you will only be met as deeply and as respectfully as people have met themselves. And to be honest, many people have never done the inner work, they have never healed their past or learned how to manage their emotions. And if they haven't done that for themselves, they can't do it for you. So, in conclusion, for these two chapters, let them let your family be who they are, and let me choose what is true for me. And use the frame of reference to stay grounded in what truly belongs to you. So that was like the summary of these two chapters.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Wow, it was really hitting. Do you say hitting? It was really touching, hitting home.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Exactly. And I love I love the the question with what would you do if you weren't afraid of being judge? Yeah. If you just take that off, what would you do? Yeah. And there you have the answer and the true core in yourself to let your biggest why and yeah, what you really, really want with life and yeah, come come through.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Yeah. Yeah. I love that question. I think she had like lots of powerful questions here. Um, both that one and also the one like, okay, is this a person that you want to have a relationship with? Like, is this a person that you want in your life going moving forward? Because there are so many things that we get frustrated about that are so pointless. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Yes. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yeah. And if it is a person that you want in your life, just let them think what they want to think about, then.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Yes. Yeah. Just to just to have that for yourself. Okay, I have a choice. Yeah. Because when when it comes to people in your family, it's hard to just say, I don't want you in my life anymore.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

You can do that because you have the own choice. But if you're not there yet that you have the power in you to do it, then you have to remind yourself about okay, I have this person in my family, so I have to shift my mindset and say, let him let her. Yeah. Because that's what I'm choosing. So don't get irritated or annoying about it. Don't stress about it. Don't react about it.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

No. Don't like let that be your map of guidance as to how to move forward. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

But then then I was thinking, okay, so if you're doing something and you are struggling and you are thinking, what should other people say? And what should other people think? And what if they think that I'm ugly on this picture and they don't won't like me or whatever is going on in your head? That makes me wondering. Because I I would really I I would really like if she had like, okay, so if you had this critical voice in your head, that's a symptom of your limiting belief about something, and how are you working on that limiting belief? Because yes, of course, I can change my attitude about it, and okay, let them. I want to do what I want to do. But if you have this negative pro programming in your mind, this negative limited belief, you have to work on that because if you don't lose that up, you won't change your mindset.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, it's harder to point someone to the right if that is not an inclination that you already have, right? Like it's harder to say, I'm just using you as a stupid example here, but like it would be harder for me to say, like, you're really dumb, right? Uh if that is not, and having you believe that if that is not already in your system of belief. Yeah. So that's a really valid point. That even if you in that instance would say, like, okay, so let Sophia think that I am dumb. Yeah. It won't make it will make some difference, but it will not make the total difference because somewhere in your mind, there is already something that has manifested since earlier, yeah, that okay, I am dumb.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Yeah. It's it's a it's a part of my identity. Yeah. And when it's a part of your identity, yourself has made, yeah. Yeah. It's you have to work on it. It doesn't matter if you change your attitude or yeah, say let her say it that I'm dumb.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

And maybe that is like, um, I think you made a reference somewhere earlier in one of the episodes that we had this discussion with uh Doug Dane, and he said that as long as you just identify why you have that belief, uh, you can work on it. Yeah. And so maybe the let them in this case also refers to then, like, okay, maybe someone told you, I'm still using this really crappy example of you being dumb. It doesn't, it doesn't, it's not, but I'm still using it. Uh so maybe when you do that work, you sort of like, okay, but the first time I heard that I was dumb or I felt that I was dumb was in the situation with my mother, father, whatever. And okay, so let her, let him in that situation, when I was seven, when I was ten, whatever, yeah, let him, her, have that opinion. Yes. And let me now, as an adult, drop that hold that that has over me by doing XYZ.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Yes. That's really good, Sophia. So be present and really aware of okay, so this is something that triggers me, this is something that's blocking me from doing this act kind of action. This is my thoughts about it. What what does it come from? Go back in the past and oh, okay, that's why, and I can see the patterns and blah blah blah. And then you are ready to just okay, now I want to choose to rewrite my story, yeah, and to do it anyway. Yeah, really good.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, one thing that I really liked was um where she wrote that people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Yes. I loved that, yes, because that is that is another way to say also that you know you can only control yourself in the situation, you cannot control others, but like if they haven't met themselves through the trauma or the the self-doubt, or if they haven't worked on their selves, how can they be able to to give that to you? It's impossible. Yeah, if they don't respect themselves enough in any given situation, how can they yeah? So I I just I like I really like that sentence. Like, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves, it's so good, yeah. It's so good, that makes it so much easier to say, okay, so let them, yes, and also to say, let me, because I want to continue to work on me.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah, let me continue to do this, yes, and then she's saying that if you really change the perspective from the other person's point of view, um you can understand how why they are acting or saying what they are saying or acting, and that that also I want to connect it with um the book that we read, uh Happy Money with Ken Honda. He's yeah, talking about this with the energy, all the energy behind everything you do, and when you change perspective, and you know, okay, so if I see it from that from her point of view, I can understand and give her compassion, yeah, the energy with love and compassion. Yeah, it's okay. Let her, but it's okay, but because she's she's not capable of doing more than she's doing. Yeah, you don't want to be mean or whatever she is.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

No, no, exactly. Because from that person's lived experiences, this is what comes up, yeah, and that person has not met themselves deeply enough to deal with that yet. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

So just they need love, yeah. The energy of love and compassion.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

And saying this out loud, I mean, it's it's if you start sort of start thinking about different situations and people, I mean, it's harder than we give it credit right now, yes, to have that to sort of hold that space for someone else. Um to to have that sort of compassion with okay, without turning it into superiority. Like, okay, so Marielle, she hasn't just met herself as much as I have.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

No, that's not compassion and love.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

No, exactly. So not turning it into sort of superiority in that sense.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

Um, so it's a balance. I know that she said that in the previous chapter, like um let me has to be a compliment because otherwise you will become superior. Um, but I think you have to be wary with this sentence as well, even though you have let me, because you could easily get into sort of the rabbit hole of being a bit superior up or up your nose. Oh, not of course, of course. Yes, yes, but that's yeah. When you have sort of the the lens of people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Yeah. I love it, but it's still like it's a yes, it's a balance, right? I'm not a really good point.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Yes, yeah, totally. And when we we are connecting all the books that we are reading, every book says that it's about your internal process, everything is about you. So don't so not the don't. So remember that uh it's about your inner process, but it's also about that person's inner process.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

unknown 35:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Oh, really good. Do you have anything else when it comes to this?

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Or no, I don't. It was a really good chapter, chapters, it's plural. Um, and I really liked it. It was a good reminder, but I don't, you know, have something that pops up in my head about my day-to-day life right now.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

You know what? I I don't have anything concerning that either, but as I'm just sort of I thought about this yesterday when I was reading the chapters uh the last time, I was like, okay, there's such there's a stroke of genius in how she writes somehow, because you know, in the beginning, we said, like, okay, how can you write a book based on two words? And you write, I don't know how many pages are there, like uh just looking here. It's a it's more than 300. More than 300 pages in my book based on the notion that let them and let me. And we were sort of like, okay, how can this be? I mean, will she just sort of say the same things all over again? And okay, so repetition is good, and I don't know, stuff like that. We said, and I've been thinking, like, okay, about why doesn't because I'm not that stressed. I usually get really stressed when I read a book and there's um when there's like too many words, right? Yeah, when they don't get to the point and stuff like that. I I I sort of like, oh, come on. You could have said that in the sentence and you use two pages. What? Come on. Uh and I was sort of thinking to myself yesterday, I was like, I don't really get frustrated, irritated, I don't really have that mindset of when I'm reading this book. And there is something so authentic or something so natural in the way she writes. Yes, I think that might be the key. Uh it's it's it's sort of like uh comparing to someone else who's hugely successful. Um say it's a Taylor Swift. I mean, I love her songs uh and her music, but to be fair, she writes on the same topics and everything like everyone else, but she's doing it so that you feels so like it could have been me. She's talking about her life, but it feels like it could be me. The way she sort of puts the the words together in a way that no other artist, I feel, does, even though they're also talking about their heartbreak or whatever it is. And sort of Mel is doing the same thing in this let them let me. She's sort of she's she's being so out authentic and pulling uh down the curtains in a way that is really relatable. Yes, I agree. So I'm just analyzing her as an author.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Yes, yes, but I agree because we we were kind of negative when we love Mel Robbins, so we said a bit skeptical. Like, okay, how can this be? Yeah, is it really that that deep, and you know? Uh and I yeah, I agree to what you are saying, and when I compare it to the 10x is easier than 2x, yeah, that is a so freaking good book because that author, Benjamin, is his he's from an another planet, to be to be honest, he's so really, really freaking good in writing books, but every chapter is so heavy. He has like so many points of view, so many things in one chapter, and that stressed me out when we were um recording it and talking about it here on the podcast because okay, I have to like do the summary short and get all the points without missing anything and missing the edge and the sense essence of what he's saying, and that kind of stressed me out. Sometimes I said to you that I wish that he had made like five chapters of this one chapter, yeah, but I I get it, I know that it would be a big, huge, big with many pages book, yeah. And that's also why I love the let them because it's so easy, and I don't feel stressed about that. It's so many things. She's pointing in, zooming in one thing in the chapter and doing it really, really good.

SPEAKER_02 39:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

So you get the deep level, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Yeah. So I'm I'm actually sort of changing my mind here from my sort of skeptical going into this, skeptical thoughts about going into this. Uh, and so far I'm like, okay, pleasantly surprised that you know, oh not only the repetition and not only the focus, but the way she the way there's something in how she makes the different examples. There's something in the way she presents them, and even maybe sometimes in the tone of how she writes, uh like she's sort of joking in the pages sometimes, and sort of saying she said something about her her daughter thinking, like, okay, mom, we have done this this manuscript like 11 times, you're doing it again now, and you know, and she she she brings that in in such a I would say authentic way, yeah, easy to be a authentic and easy way, easy to understand.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

She doesn't complicate anything, no, she makes it easy to understand, it's just like that, yeah, it's good. Okay, so but I I I I I want to ask you, okay. Okay, if I take the question, what would you do if you weren't afraid of being judge? What would we do with Bookbright if we weren't afraid of being judge? Or what are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 41:34

Because we are doing we have done a lot without I mean for one thing, just the fact that we're talking in English that is a huge, we have said that before, that is huge thing for us, for both of us, because this is not our first language, and it you can hear that. So uh, but we're still doing it. Yeah, we are. We are, but what are we more what would we be doing if we weren't afraid of being judged? Hmm. Do you have anything that you like?

SPEAKER_01 42:10

No, no, it was I just I try I tried to put a the question out there to see if we can, but but we don't have these mindset blocks with book break because we are doing um yeah, like we're doing a lot of things that it's not we're not supposed to do, yes. Uh it's saying that we are going to be the biggest podcast in the world in the area of personal development.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Judge us, let them judge us, let them judge us. Um and if you're a Swede or no Swede, you know that the sentence that Marielle just said to be the best in something, to dominate something, that is like, you know, that you could almost be thrown out from this country, I think, uh, for saying that.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Yes, that's not by the Swedish law.

SPEAKER_02 43:04

No, I don't think it is. Um, I don't know, but I think there, I mean, when you said that question, there is like some sort of movement inside me that I sort of get a bit nervous. So I'm sure there is something there, but I'm not quite sure what it is.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

But we need a week to just process it and it will come to us when we are ready. Yeah. Because I I also think there is something there, but I also want to but we're sure it is also talked about like okay, uh, you know, I the this I in my work, what I do with my clients, I talk about the frequence is uh what frequence are we in and on? Are we in the high frequency and we have to raise our frequence and we have to show the frequence that we are in? But something that has really come. To me, I don't know if it's with this book or the books that we have been reading or that we are just processed things since the 10x is easier than 2x, because that's the book where everything's changed for us. But that is something that is really hit me right now. That no, uh, we when we talk about to be in a hired frequency, it's our internal process, it's how we feel about what we are doing, it's not about the look of how we are doing. You know the difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, for example, this is kind of I don't know where I'm going here, so I just and I can't help you because I don't know either. So I know what what I want to say, but we we will see if it's um it's if it's okay. But when we talk about social media, for example, that's kind of okay. So what's the energy we want to send out? And does it really matter when we are speaking of these chapters? Does it really matter if if the videos or the the pictures that we have is oh uh high frequency videos, you know? Or yeah, yeah, maybe no, fuck it, let them judge us.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

This this is who we are, yeah. It's just a reminder for me and everyone who is listening, especially if you are an entrepreneur, that it doesn't matter. Yeah, don't hang up with things that is external, yeah. It's about the energy inside of you. That's what I'm wont to say.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

Yeah, and and if I may, if I I'm hearing you right, you could be like on a high frequency, like being like knowing who you are, knowing what you're about, and still not have it, it's not the same as having a high-quality picture taken of you or a high-quality reel uh in social media or whatever it is. Exactly. You could be on high vibe and the high energy frequence, yeah, but the the external part may not be what you would automatically perhaps uh connect that to. Exactly, and it's still okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

Exactly, because so many people say things that oh, I need to buy expensive clothes, I need to have this uh amazing car, yeah. Because they they to level up to that to level that I am, yeah, yeah. But that's not the thing, it's not the external thing that's leveling you up, it's it's the power within you. Yeah, good, and yes, so use when you have this voice inside your head that's saying, Oh, you're not uh good enough, you're not at a high frequency in this picture, blah blah blah, you're ugly, blah blah blah. No, fuck it, let them. Yeah, this is me. This is me.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

Awesome, amazing, yeah. Okay, you know what? Maybe we should just leave the listeners with that and wrap it up, and I'll just send you uh these different questions to think about from this episode and these chapters. That number one, what is your take from these two chapters and this episode? What is the one thing that has landed the most within you? Why is that important to you for real? Why does that matter to you right now? And thirdly, what are you going to do? What is one thing that you can do and act upon when it comes to this right now? When you stop listening to this episode, what is it that you can do? Or even this week? So that was the different questions. Just take them with you. And remember, you're amazing. You are amazing!